MikeLigalig.com

Son, you are in your 2nd year of being a college student. Dalawang taon  na lang magtatapos ka na sa kolehiyo at sana kapag dumating ang panahon na iyon, kung may choice ka, huwag kang mag-abroad.

Marahil marami ang magtataas ng kilay o di kaya’y magtatanong ng “Bakit?” kapag nalaman nila na ganito ang payo ko sa iyo. Sabagay marami pa rin sa mga kababayan natin na ang paniniwala ay ‘mayaman ang mga OFW’, ‘masarap ang buhay sa abroad’ o kaya’s sikat ka kapag may kamag anak ka sa abroad. Siyempre naman, halos puro imported ang gamit sa bahay, ‘stateside’ wika nga. Pero ang hindi nila alam ay kung ano ba ang kapalit ng mga materyal na kasaganahan ito.

Karamihan sa mga magulang na nagtratrabaho sa abroad ay hindi maikaila ang ‘sense of loss’ na kung minsan ay may pagsisisi dahil sa hindi nakagisnang paglaki ng mga anak na naiwan sa Pilipinas. I grope for words to describe the passing of an era which part of my life have been sacrificed. Mula ng ako’y nagtrabaho sa abroad, I have looked at you and to other siblings of yours wishing that I could see all of you to grow into fine human beings wishing that I was there every step of your way. Pero ang reyalidad, hindi kasi malayo ako sa inyo. Nagkakasya na lang ako sa pagsasaya ng mag isa na malayo sa inyo sa panahon ng inyong kagalakan and perhaps bled profusely in my own when I know that one of you is in pain. Lagi ko kayong naaalala when I visit a nice place or eat an unusually fine meal kasi ang lagi kong sinasabi, “Sana kasama ko ang pamilya ko.” I worry for your safety and I cannot imagine not being able to recognize you and your other siblings in your mature years. Naalala ko tuloy minsan ng tanungin ko si mommy mo kung sino yung binata na nasa picture na ipinadala niya sa email ko. Sabi ni mommy mo, “Ano ka ba Dad, si Glenn yan, panganay mo!”

Sa panahon ngayon ng ‘absentee parenting’, the communication of love has taken the form of steady stream of ‘balik-bayan box’ every Christmas. Pero sa kabila ng dami ng reagalong natatangap, this however cannot compensate for the erosion of intimacy in the family. How easy to measure the benefits from overseas work but remain doubtful if one can ever quantify what a migrating parent has given up in terms of love. Kaya anak, if ever may choice ka after your graduation at kung makakahanap ka ng trabaho sa Pilipinas, kahit hnidi kalakihan ang sweldo basta disente at marangal, huwag kang mag-abroad. Diyan ka na lang sa Pilipinas kasi balang araw magkakaroon ka na rin ng sarili mong pamilya, mas masarap na abutin ang pangrap ninyo sa buhay ng magkakasama.

Would anyone believe if I were to take yellow pages, open it up and proclaim that this book will tell us who has a red car. You will probably say, “That’s not the purpose of the yellow page. Its purpose is simply to reveal name and number of people.” Only by understanding its purpose can I accurately use the yellow page in the same way only by understanding its purpose can I accurately use the Bible.

The problem is not that God hasn’t spoken but that we haven’t listened. Understanding the purpose of the Bible is like setting the compass in the right direction to know your true north. Calibrate it correctly and you’ll have a safe journey. But fail to set it and who knows where you will end up.

(Last night, I had the opportunity of having extra time to watch the movie FIREPROOF, a 2008 drama about marriage that gone astray but saved the last minute. Below are the movie synopsis-Gener)

Captain Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) is a firefighter in Albany, Georgia and firmly keeps the cardinal rule of all firemen, "Never leave your partner behind". But Caleb's home life is an altogether different story; his seven-year marriage to his wife Catherine (Erin Bethea) is on the verge of implosion. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces, and after a heated argument in which Caleb screams in Catherine's face, she declares she wants out of the marriage, and takes off her wedding ring.

While Caleb claims to his friends and co-workers that Catherine is over-sensitive and disrespectful, Catherine simultaneously claims to her peers that Caleb is insensitive to her needs and doesn't listen to her. Further catalyzing Catherine's motivation for divorce is Caleb's addiction to Internet pornography and a large sum of money ($24,000, to be exact) he has saved up for a fishing boat he intends to buy, ignoring the fact that Catherine's disabled mother is in need of hospital equipment that she cannot afford, and which insurance refuses to cover. Caleb tells his father John about the impending divorce, and John challenges Caleb to commit to a 40-day test called, "The Love Dare." Caleb reluctantly agrees to do the test, but more for the sake of his father than his marriage. Catherine initially sees through Caleb's half-hearted attempts to win back her heart, which deepens Caleb's frustration. But with his father's encouragement, Caleb continues with The Love Dare, and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God, unbeknownst to Catherine.

Meanwhile, Catherine begins flirting with Dr. Gavin Keller (Perry Revell) at the hospital where she works. She begins to open up to him about some of her problems, chiefly her mother's need for the hospital equipment which she can't afford, but as she's no longer wearing her wedding ring, Keller doesn't know Catherine is married, at least not until Caleb is brought to the hospital later. Catherine comes up to Caleb in the emergency room as Keller is treating him, and a nurse says that Caleb is Catherine's husband.

Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his commitment to Christ, Caleb begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. He begins pulling more of his own weight at home, doing household chores and running errands, and even leaving real roses for Catherine. Soon Caleb even finds the motivation to destroy his computer and everything on it, smashing it to pieces with a baseball bat. However, Catherine is still intent on filing for divorce, much to Caleb's anguish.

When Catherine goes to the home care store to talk with a clerk about the unpaid equipment her mother needs, the clerk tells her that all the equipment has been paid for in full and is being installed at her mother's house. Convinced it was Dr. Keller that paid the $24,300 price, Catherine goes to Keller at the hospital to thank him and sets up a lunch date with him. Meanwhile, Caleb finds out about Dr. Keller through a card for Catherine that she left at home, so he goes to the hospital and warns Dr. Keller that, even with his mistakes, he will not step aside and let Keller have Catherine without a fight. The doctor gets the message and quickly cools the relationship with Catherine, and the viewer learns that Dr. Keller is married and hides his ring in a desk drawer.

When Caleb finds Catherine at home sick in bed, he decides to take care of her, with food and medicine. Bewildered at his new bedside manner, Catherine asks Caleb what's happening to him. Caleb starts to tell Catherine about The Love Dare, and she pulls Caleb's book out from underneath the blanket next to her. Caleb tearfully apologizes for his selfish behavior and asks her forgiveness. While Catherine admits she sees some change in Caleb, she still cannot bring herself to trust him and believe he has changed. Caleb understands and gives her as much time as she needs to think things over.

Days later, Catherine returns to the home care store to purchase linens for her mother's new hospital bed, mentioning to the clerk that linens were the only thing Dr. Keller didn't pay for. But when the clerk reveals to Catherine that it was Caleb two weeks prior who paid $24,000 (Keller contributed only $300), Catherine bursts into tears and leaves the store. Now fully convinced of Caleb's genuine change of heart, Catherine runs home crying to put her wedding ring back on her finger. After freshening up, she goes straight to the fire house to tell Caleb that she now forgives him, and the two lovingly embrace. (Also, in a deleted scene, Catherine discovers Gavin flirting with a nurse shortly after learning of Caleb's payment for the hospital bed.)

Caleb's parents come to visit. While talking to his son, Caleb's father reveals that, contrary to what Caleb had believed, he did not do The Love Dare on his wife, she did it on him. This causes Caleb to recognize the impact his mother has had in his life, and rushes home to reconcile with her. Caleb and Catherine renew their vows in an outdoor ceremony, this time as a covenant with God.

Case in Point:

The movie tells 2 lessons that couples must learned.
First is by protecting your marriage from its greatest threat--shared secret. Catherine begins flirting with Dr. Gavin Keller (Perry Revell) at the hospital where she works. She begins to open up to him about some of her marriage problems that eventually lead to flirting moments. How can you protect your marriage from a workplace affairâ€"or any affair? One word: boundaries. A common assumption is that loving marriages are immune to affairs. But research suggests that it’s not necessarily the strength of your love that protects you, but the strength of your boundaries.

Second, know more about your spouse. There are many reasons when a husband or a wife strays away. He or she could be longing for attention and appreciation from other company which he or she didn’t experience from his or her spouse, something couple ought to do. When Caleb accepted the “40-days Love Dare” challenge given to him by his father, he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.
In order to give love, one should understand its meaning well enough in order to give it and received it in return. One shouldn’t be confined in just one dimension in defining love as merely a feeling but must beyond that translating it into an action rather than thought. Truly, love is not only a feeling but also an action that may lead to a certain action; that is to love and to get love in return

You had tried everything to save your marriage but despite of everything you have done, it came to a point that there’s no use of turning back for your spouse is slowly drifting away from your marriage life.

Probably, you have heard advices like in order to save your marriage, you have to pray for your spouse or listen to her and any other advices for that matter but still nothing happens. But let me asked you this, have you tried to studying her again?
When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her; her likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her he often stops learning about her. If the amount spent studying her before marriage was equal to a high school degree, he should continue to learn about her until he gained a college degree, a master’s degree and ultimately, a doctorate degree. It is life’s long journey that draws his heart ever closer to hers.

So do you study your spouse? For me, I am but I don’t think I got my college degree yet so I have to keep on learning until I got my PhD.

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse.. "I would really like to see JOSEPH "ERAP" ESTRADA and GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO before I die", whispered the priest. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. ERAP and GMA would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, ERAP commented to GMA."I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images. GMA couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took GMA's hand in his right hand and ERAP's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. 

Finally GMA spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." The old priest continued, "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same." 

In today’s era of Pinoy migration where either the father or mother is forced to live miles apart from their family, the love and respect that the children see between their father and mother, despite of the distance will keep them feel more secured and loved. Distance should never be an excuse for love knows no boundaries.

The best way to love your kids is to show them that you love their mother.

I partly agree with FM, Jr. about his observation posted at http://globalnation.inquirer.net/news/breakingnews/view/20100222-254693/Edsa-1-proved-to-be-a-failureMarcos-Jr#commentbox.

Corruption is worse today than before. During the time of FM, corruption is centralized only in Malacanang Palace but now corruption is seen even in the level of Barangay. During Marcos time, there were many monumental landmarks that made Philippines known globally like the CCP, FAT at the expense of the hungry Juan dela Cruz. Today, as Filipinos continue to be hungry, there are no projects that would make Philippines as the center of arts. The C-5 extension project is more of an avenue of vested interest of a businessman turned politician. During the time of Aquino government, all they have done was to change the name of the streets and airport in memory of Ninoy. During the time of FM, there were numbers of political opponents that were missing in the drive to eradicate FM's political opponents but is there something new today? Worse, NGO's are being arrested by the military and took some time to present the MORONG 43 despite order for the SC. During FM time, lands were being acquired by FM for his own benefit but at least, partly for the government. During Aquino' time, Hacienda Luisita used to be acquired by the Cojuangco clan using government instrument under the agreement that these lots be distributed to land tillers but worse, Hacienda Luisita is slowly being converted to industrial, commercial lots and highways instead of its original intent as agricultural land.

As an OFW, during the 70's, Filipinos have a choice whether to work abroad for a better paying job or stays in the Philippines and settles for low paying jobs but at least still available. But now, there's no job available even for a Janitor despite having a large number of globally-competent Filipino workforce. Blame it to population explosion? Nah--that was the same mistake in the policy made by Singapore that their government of today resented. Now, it takes more head ache to manage the aging population of highly industrialized countries like Britain, America, Canada and Singapore where the Philippine government takes pride by prostituting our caregivers and other “Bayaning OFW” to these countries with aging population leaving almost nobody taking care of our very own country’s elder generation.

Now, if someone will ask me which is better--now or before? FM is lesser evil than Aquino, Estrada and GMA combined but Ramos time is better.

(Got this from my inbox)

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"


The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."

You are married to a man who cannot reciprocate your profound love. A man who doesn’t even know what love is and worst of all, you found out that he has an extra marital affair. You showered him with all the material things more than he can ever imagine compensating the lack of physical intimacies brought about by your physical absence being thousands of miles away. But after all it is said and done still he didn’t mend his ways. Suddenly, you found a new love in the arms of someone else’s man. In short, an affection from a married man. He makes you feel ‘being wanted’ and you feel important as if you are always at the center of his attention. Something you never felt before and now you’re asking--is it all worth to give yourself a chance to make yourself happy? This is the scenario painted in one of the threads posted by a married woman which I have read and replied from a social networking site.

LOVE'S YARDSTICK

Love is not and cannot be measured by the number of "I love you" or number of SUV’s or neither by the number of tears you shed in the name of love. Material things cannot and will never provide an assurance that love invested in that kind of relationship will last a lifetime. Worse, the more he/she (person on the receiving end of such frivolous attention) will feel that whatever is consummated between the two of you is nothing but superficial. The connection that binds between couple cannot be established by material things or calls of endearment but on how either partners or both makes the relationship evolves into the next level until it reaches certain level of maturity. This maturity depends on many factors like upbringings or experiences we may have seen or witnessed from our parents. The kind of relationship that we have seen from our parents greatly influenced our emotional maturity and outlook with regards to our marriage relationship. The number of years that a couple has been married can never be the sole yardstick in measuring relationship maturity but by the ability of one or both to make their marriage work come hell or high water.

LOVE IS NOT ONLY A FEELING BUT A DECISION

As I always said in most articles that I have written, love is not only a feeling but a decision. We should consider redefining love more than just on the premise of feelings but that of an action. As love translated from a “noun” to “verb” will spell the difference between making and breaking it. An action that will lead one or both to a certain decision whether to fall out or to remain in love to the same person over and over again is a decision that only and for yours to make.

MISTAKE CAN NEVER BE CORRECTED BY ANOTHER MISTAKE

whilst it is given that your partner has wronged you and hurt you that much to the point that you want him to feel how is it like to be hurt. Whether this newly found love appears as your saving grace, it is something like a double-edge blade ready to slice your heart anytime. And the sad part of it, by being the other woman yourself, you become exactly the person you dreaded once in your life resulting to two family lives shattered into bits and pieces, yours and the family of that married man.

Right love at the wrong time is still wrong and no amount of justification can correct a love that is wrong from the beginning lest you really wanted to be home wrecker. The truth is, true love means, albeit of its imperfections is never meant to hurt others for it never finds joy in someone else’s failure.

Just recently, I have found a forwarded message in my inbox with a subject title: Why God allows pain? I have come across this forwarded message a long time ago but it’s only now that the subject title struck to my line of thinking. Suddenly, it reminds me of an article I wrote with almost of the same title (Why does God allows suffering) In that piece, I reflect almost exactly the same as that article I found in my inboxâ€" minus the elaboration to answer the questionâ€"Why does God allows suffering?

The truth is, God never allows any of us to suffer but it is our wrong choices that lead us to suffering. Although God being the Supreme Being, who has the power to do whatever He wants but refrain from dictating us what to do. Instead He gave us the freedom to do whatever pleases us which more often than not lead us into chaos.

If we are clearly to understand why God allows suffering, we must squarely face another important question. How can we have true freedom of choice and still gain freedom from suffering? We desperately want both. But are both possible at the same time?
If there is any single ideal that is practically worshiped in the West, it is freedom. Freedom is the bedrock of our social system. Many would be willing to defend freedom and self-determination with their lives.

God Himself has given people freedom of choice. In fact, such is part of God's great design. He does not force us down a particular path, but He allows us to choose the way we will go. On the subject of choice, God told ancient Israel, "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life." (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Mankind's wrong choices are the cause of most of the suffering we see in the world. But again anyone would surely ask, “Then, who are you to tell me what is right and wrong choices?”

Surely, no mortal living can claim they have the moral ascendency to decide right from wrong but we can make use of that same freedom to seek for the truth. And that truth can only be found in His own Words as written in the Bibleâ€"and that will surely lead us to freedom from all kinds of suffering and pain.

Yesterday, I had the chance and spare time to talk to an office colleague. We discussed a lot of things about our work and life in general until we come across our common experienceâ€"getting measured not in terms of accomplishments but of thins we didn’t do well. And of all the things you have done wonderfully, you will be judged instead with your shortcomings. As I often say, “You cannot please anybody.” If you will ask somebody to tell you what he can see from a piece of paper, more often than not, you will find him in continuous litany of the paper’s inferior aspects.

In today’s column of one of my favorite writers,  Fr. Jerry Orbos reflects on the experience of Jesus as He encountered opposition from the very same peopleâ€"from His hometown of Nazareth.

Opposition
By Fr. Jerry Orbos

Someone once said that if you are planning to buy a second-hand car, the best thing to do is to take the car to used-car dealers, and tell them you want to sell it to them, and they will tell you everything that is wrong with it.

In today’s Gospel (Lk. 4, 21-30), we are told that Jesus encountered opposition from his town matesâ€"in spite of His growing fame all over the region, and in spite of His gracious words. His fellow Nazoreans, especially the chief priests and elders, focused not on what was right but on what was wrong with Him. Indeed, no prophet is acceptable, especially in his own native place.
We cannot please everyone. In fact, we should not. Otherwise, we will end up pleasing no one. As soon as we take a position, right away there is opposition. So the best thing to do is to take a stand and face the consequences of our decision. In the end, may we not have regrets that in our efforts to please man and ourselves, we did not do what is pleasing to God.

Whatever position or opposition we take is for a mission. A mission always points to something or someone greater than ourselves. Prophets are those who point to something or someone beyond themselves. Are you doing your role as a prophet, or are you one who sees only profits?

Harry Truman was a different kind of President.  He probably made  as many important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year..

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There were no Secret Service following them..

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale.  (sic. Illinois )

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

I say dig him up and clone him!!

When it comes to mating, men go for younger women. It is true! The reason according to scientists is the evolutionary pressure.

Evolutionary pressure is the drive to have more children. It is also the cause of the typical age gap among couples.

Researchers explored the theory that men go for younger, sexually attractive women in order to boost their chances of reproductive success, while women prefer older, successful men to provide the resources and security that increase their offspring's chance of survival.

The investigators trawled through a Swedish population database, covering 11,500 men and women born between 1945 and 1955, to see at what age these individuals became parents.

Among couples who stayed together, the most children were born in households where there was an age difference of four to six years.

When couples split up and mated again, they each opted for partners who were younger than the first.

That was especially so for older men, who went for women who were much younger. Women looking for a new mate generally chose a male who was slightly older than herself.

The study, which appears in the British journal Biology Letters, is written by Martin Fieder, an anthropologist at the University of Vienna, and Susanne Huber, a wildlife ecologist at the University of Veterinary Medicine Vienna.

Source: www.physorg.com

An excerpt from Fr. Jerry Orbos’ column, Moments.

In today’s Gospel (Jn. 18, 33-37) Jesus confidently answers all the questions hurled at him by Pontius Pilate. What made him so cool and confident through it all? Truth. Truth was on his side, so he had no fears and nothing to hide. A truthful person is confident and free. A person full of lies is fearful and trembling deep inside.

Face the light, and the shadow is behind you. Turn your back to the light, and the shadow will always be in front of you.” Knowing the truth and accepting the truth is the best road toward true confidence and freedom.

How many of us take the road of compromise and spend our whole lifetime vacillating between half and full commitment, ready to mouth our convictions for anyone and everyone to hear, but fold up and do otherwise when no one is looking or listening? The seat of our values must be deeper than what this world offers. We are not saints, but at least, we can be, and should be, truthful.

We all will face our King someday. What will we tell Him then? What will He tell us then? Yes, we all have a mission to accomplish in life. The mission is non-transferable and non-negotiable. And the mission is not indefinite. We all have a mission to accomplish and this cannot be bypassed nor postponed.

A moment with the Lord:

Lord, remind me that you are the source of all the confidence I need in life. Amen.

From Book of James 3:1-18

Taming the Tongue

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man. But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Two Kinds of Wisdom
 
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peace makers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

What I Can Give

Some of us may say that we owe their riches and fame as a result of our hard-work that at times, we looked down and deny the less fortunate of much needed help thinking that they deserved what they are and assigning laziness as the cause of their poverty. Lest we forget that: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. (Mark 10:25)
Jesus said, “Sell all that you have and distribute it to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven and come, follow me.”

I have no silver or gold but what I have is my knowledge so will You show me now how to use it wisely and find a way somehow, to make the world I live in a little better place.
I don’t have material riches but what I have to give You is for me to love and offer kindness and be able to walk humbly with my fellowmen so that when the time comes and we will meet each other face to face, that I may hear You say, “Good job, Gener.”

I suggest that you watch the video link below and let's see if you will be 'moved' by this short documentary film.

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

A story worth sharing, got it from a forwarded mail.

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how
does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be
feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care
of the house and the kid. 'coz that is the exact feeling that I have, as I
feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of
my child, and failed to be the dad and mom for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had
to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there were
still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my
sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am
home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So
with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room,
skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just
having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and
warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the
'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet
and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged
straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a
good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short
explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't any more leftover rice. But you were not
back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you
reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around,
hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to
cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was
afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to
keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'coz I was playing
with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't
want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried
with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards
my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing
him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When
everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw
that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from
looking at the photograph of his beloved mommy.

A year has passed since that episode; I have tried, in this period, to focus
on giving him both the love of his dad and mom, and to attend to most of his
needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from
kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression
on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time,
his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from
school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain.
But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name
and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer
games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did
not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I
realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite
is for every student's mommy. And that was the reason for his absence as he
has no mommy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has
recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to
himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure,
would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'coz he makes me proud
too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. Its winter,
and Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every
passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers.... but alas, my son got
into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the
post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an
edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several
letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son
again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is
really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry,
Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner,
went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came
home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the
year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was :  The letters were for Mommy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask
him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was:
" I have been writing to mommy for a long time, but each time I reach out
for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the
letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and
I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to
say....

I told my son, " Son, mommy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you
have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mommy. My
son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was
sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I
brought the letters outside, but couldn’t help opening the letter before they
turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mommy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a  'Talent Show' in school, and the
school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did
not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid
that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around
looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the
computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and
he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real
reason. Mommy, every day I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you,
he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.  I think we both miss you
very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mommy, I am starting
to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see
your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the
photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your
dreams. But mommy, why haven’t you appeared?


After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the
irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some
kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.
Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to
the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care
of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, coz nothing can replace your good health, not even
business or clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally
dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society,
no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious
and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things
around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your
health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than
your well being.

I couldn’t forget the words that were shared to us by Bro. Inaki, one of our community elders in our marriage Encounter group. He once told us that “Sin is like callous. The more you do; the more you are getting used to it.”

There are times I compromised in ‘little’ things and think that it won’t matter. Yet, as a believer myself, there is inner frustration when I allow things into my heart and mind that I know are in contrast with God. Lest I forget, when we ignore, we find our heart moving toward unbelief. God calls us to be vigilant about keeping our heart soft. It is not always easy but it is always worth it. As it is written, “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily as long as it is called today so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”(Heb 3:12-13)

Prayer & Reflection:
Father God, keep my heart soft. Don’t let me allow sin to slow down my reflex to You. I need You in my life. Increase my faith and help me to encourage someone else today to stay firm in their faith too. Guide me and hold me close to Your heart. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

(Mensaheng galing sa email, orihinal na nakasulat sa wikang Ingles)

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Sa isang kapanahunan, humarap si Satanas kay Hesus doon sa Harden ng Eden, at masayang nagyayabang.  (Luke 4: 1-12; Job 1: 6-12)

“Opo, Panginoon, sa ngayon, silang lahat ay sakop ko na, (halos lahat sila doon sa ibaba).
Naglagay ako ng mga patibong, gamit ko rin ang pa-in ng tukso, Alam ko lahat ang mga bagay ng kanilang kahinaan. Halos nabitag ko silang lahat” (1 Ped 5: 8-9; Efe 6: 10-17)

“Ano ang gagawin mo sa kanila?” tanong ni Hesus.
At Siya ay nanalangin sa Dios Ama.

Sumagot si Satanas “Oh, gagawa ako ng katuwaan sa kanila. Palalaganapin ko ang tukso para mawasak ang maraming pamilya pagkatapos nilang magpakasal upang ang pondasyon ng sangkatauhan ay hindi maging matatag ang pamilya.” (Mat 19: 4-6; Mal ak 2: 16 )

“Pag-aawayin ko sila sa isat-isa at mag-aabusuhan silang lahat, malulong sila sa alak, droga, tawag ng laman ng walang pakundangan. (Rom 13: 12-14) Tuturuan ko silang gumawa ng mga armas at pampasabog, upang magpatayan silang lahat. Talagang mag e-enjoy ako ng husto.”

“At kung magsawa ka na sa katuwaan sa kanila, anong gagawing mo?” tanong ni Hesus, habang patuloy na nananalangin.

“Eh di patayin ko silang lahat at ang kanilang kaluluwa'y magiging akin magpakailanman
Panginoon sa lahat ng aspeto, desisyon nila 'yan.” (1 John 3: 8-10)

“ Magkano lahat ang gusto mo para sa kanila?” tanong ni Hesus.

“Uhmn, hindi mo sila kailangan. Wala silang maidudulot na mabuti para sa IYo. Bakit mo pa sila kailangan kung ayaw nilang sumunod ni magmahal sa Iyo? Galit sila sa Iyo! Nakita ko na maraming dumudura sa 'yo, isinumpa Ka a t hindi kinikilala.” Dagdag pa, “mahal na mahal nila ako.”(Mat 24: 10-13) “Hindi mo kailangan ang mga taong ito!”

“Magkano?” tanong ulit ni Hesus.

Tumingin si Satanas sa Kanya ng may pangungutya. “Lahat ng iyong luha at dugo, lahat ng kapighatian sa sanlibutan  lahat-lahat.” (Isaiah 53: 4-10; I Ped 2: 24 )

Sumagot si Hesus, “ Gawin ko.” At binayaran Niya lahat ng katumbas  (II Cor 5: 21 )

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Napakasaklap isipin na hindi ninanais ng tao na hanapin ang Dios, ngunit nagtatanong sa sarili kung bakit ang mundo'y pabagsak sa impyerno.

Mas nabigyang pansin pa ang balitang pang araw-araw hinggil sa trahedya sa ating kapaligiran ngunit hindi natin hinahanap ang Biblia.


Halos lahat ay walang katuturang nagnanais na mapunta sa kalangitan ,
at naniniwalang makarating sila roon kahit walang pananalig, kahit hindi umibig sa Dios higit pa sa lahat ng bagay, ni sumunod sa sinabi ng Biblia--ang kautusan ng Dios.

Napakasaklap na may nga taong nagsasabi “Sumasampalataya ako sa Dios”,
subalit kay Satanas pa rin sumusunod (at sa totoo lang, ni hindi natatakot sa Dios)
(2 Tim 4: 3-4; II J uan 1: 7-11)

Sa palagay nyo'y hindi isang kahinaan ang magpadala ng libo-libong biro o katuwaan sa email, upang ito'y kumalat ng parang salot.

Ngunit pag itoy mensahe na mula sa Panginoon, nagda-dalawang isip pa tayo bago natin ito maibahagi sa iba at kinalimutan na lang natin ang mailboxes ng ating mga kaibigan na hindi nakabasa nito

Sa pakiwari nyo, hindi nakakagimbal na ang mga malalaswa, makamundo at kawalanghiyaan ay kusang umiiral sa Internet, na marami ang halos gusto nang ipasak ang sarili sa 'screen'

Pero ipinagbabawal sa publiko ang magbahagi tungkol kay Hesus, sa mga eskwelahan, lugar ng pinagtrabahu-an, pang kasarinlang lupon, atbp. (Gawa 4: 19-20)

Kahit ngayong malaman ang ginawa Niya para sa atin.
Dahil hindi siya pinatay ng mga Romano--kungdi ng ating mga kasalanan.
Upang lahat tayo'y mapatawad, at makilala Siya sa kanyang kaluwalhatian kasama ng Ama.

Parang hindi kapanipaniwala kung paanong ang iba ay nagiging ilaw.
Sa panahon ng 'Simba' pag pumasok sa Bahay-panambahan, sumasamba at nagpapasalamat sa Panginoon dahil sa kanyang habag sa isang pa muling araw na naragdagan ang buhay.

Subalit sa ibang mga araw ng Linggo  sya ay nagiging invisible na Kristyano! (2 Tim 3: 1-5; Rom 10: 9-13)

Ano kaya, makatarungan ba ito?

Hwag hayaang itigil ni Satanas ang magbahagi ng e-mail na ito para sa kakilala natin sa Web.
Hayaan na lang kahit sabihin nilang 'ayaw nilang maniwala nito.
Hwag hayaang umayong sa kanyang mga balak.

Hwag mabagabag tungkol sa sasabihin ng iba para sa iyo.
Panahon na upang mabahala tayo sa 'kung ano ang iniisip ng Dios para sa atin.

Pakiusap lang mga kapatid , ibahagi mo rin ito.
Ako, nagawa ko na, Salamat.

Pagpapalain ka nawa ng Dios (2 Cor 13: 13 )

Once in I a while we experienced a moment of despair caused by a number of reasons like conflicts in the family, lost of loved ones or could be a business transaction gone bad. However, whatever reasons that may cause our feeling of desperation, a word of encouragement would help. A little encouragement goes a long way.

What the Bible tells about encouragement?

Wherefore comfort one another with these words. Cheer each other with these assurances. Tell the mourning ones that when they are called to meet the Lord they will find their own sleeping ones in the glorious company. (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.(Hebrews 3:13)

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one anotherâ€"and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

Have you ever heard of somebody complaining about too much encouragement? In fact we wish that someone would encourage us more .

I have few readers who are patrons of my work in Ezine Article (one of whom is my wife) who made a lasting impression on my life when they complimented me on some articles I had written (42 articles are published by Ezine publisher). Many times I have thought of what they said and that their encouraging words were influential in my daring to write articles that talk about marriage relationship. There were other factors of course, but I thank God for these people. Little did they know that what they said was instrumental in bringing married couples to Christ and inspiring them to live holy lives.

I make use of this “tool’’ to encourage my wife as well if she feels like fretting about domestic concerns that she has to do all by herself since I’m thousand miles away from her. As a father, encouraging my children to face their difficulties in dealing with math subject â€"their waterloo by showing them easy techniques I learned when I was at their age and struggling just like them.

Recently, I read an article about Padre Pio, a Capuchin priest famous for his stigmata that at one time in 1947 when Father Karol Josef Wojtyla, a young Polish priest visited him to make a confession. Padre Pio encourage the young Polish priest to continue with his good work and told him that he would one day ascend to the highest post in the church. That young Polish priest is known today as Pope John Paul II.

How about you, have you encouraged someone lately?

Infidelity is considered the most significant cause of breakdown in marriage. Whilst there are other factors such as financial disputes, children, career and even in-laws, however infidelity remains as the number one marriage killer. But what drives one to become unfaithful to his or her partner?

Why Infidelity

Infidelity knows no boundaries or socio-economic status that even couples who are living together as husbands and wives for so many years are not exempted from it. Though risk is higher to those who have just started to live together under “one roof” as married couples (this is the stage where one’s imperfection no matter how small is becoming to be more obvious) and those marriage relationship though being consummated but separated geographically because of work assignments or job location. Most self-help articles that I read related to marriage talk about infidelities caused when one became more “comfortable” with someone else other than his or her spouse.

Protecting Your Marriage By Maintaining Your Boundaries

“We never intended to fall in love. We were just friends at the office.” These are phrases we commonly heard in the movies though not far from common reality. So how can we protect our relationship from its greatest threatâ€"infidelity or any affair? One word: boundaries.

Some experts say that marriages with strong foundation are immune to affairs. But in reality, it’s not the strength of your love that protects your relationship but the strength of your boundaries. A boundary is an inviolable, personal conviction. Most marriage falls into the trap where one is being unfaithful to his or her partner when he or she lost control of the situation when they crossed their boundaries. The boundary that usually falls first is the “shared secret.” By sharing this “secret” you break your boundary.  A “boundary â€"breaker” could be anything like “flirtatious touch” or can be an e-mail with a double meaning or an overly personal compliment. If the other person responds in kind and neither of you tells your spouse, you give each other a silent signal that your feelings are mutual and the secret is safe. Like a spark igniting fuel in an engine, a shared secret revs up a relationship and begins the affair.

How To Maintain Your Boundaries

First, don’t cross the “shared secret” boundary. If you sense that somebody is testing that boundary, immediately tell your spouse. Exposing the secret immediately defuses it and builds trust.

Second, never share marriage problems or dissatisfaction to anybody other than your spouse. Opening up your relationship problem to a third party (unless he or she is a relative) may give “wrong signal” to that party. A third party can be an officemate, a secret admirer, your boss or could be your close friend. Sharing your marital woes to a relative sometimes is not helping at all because of their tendency to be biased. Marriage problem can be best settled between you and your spouse alone unless of course you are sharing it to prove a point where you think your own personal experiences can be of help.

Third, don’t give overly personal compliments. This exactly may have the same impact as the second advice though done in the form of compliments and “sweet nothings.”

And lastly, never violate personal space by sitting too close or touching. I don’t see the need to elaborate on this further, right?

Lest we are tempted to become unfaithful to our spouse, remember that “The marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4) and the phrase “marriage bed” means the physical and emotional intimacy that makes the marriage sacred. Don’t give the intimacy that you promised your spouse to anyone else and keep your boundaries firm.

An excerpt from Fr. Jerry Orbos' column 'Moments'.

In today’s Gospel (Mt. 5, 1-12) Jesus shows to us the road to take so that we will not be mere souls, but saints. The road is the road of the “Beatitudes.” Take time today to check the road you are taking, and the life you are living. Do you experience poverty in spirit, mourning, meekness? Is there righteousness, mercy and purity of heart, peace, or persecution in your life? Then, “Rejoice and be glad for your reward will be great in heaven!”

“It’s just a matter of time,” All Souls’ Day is a timely reminder for all of us that, sooner or later, we all will die. Yes, the journey will come to an end someday. Just when is not for us to say. What matters is not the miles behind, nor the wealth in our hands, but the love and the peace we carry in our hearts. Hello! You who are so engrossed in making more money, and in charting and cementing corridors of power, are you listening?

For those who are so focused on “image,” it would be good for you to reflect today: “What will people say about me after I die?” For those who are surrounded by cheer leaders, entertainers and jesters, remember, too, that your so-called staff and entourage will not be there for you once your power and money are gone. The bottom line is: “What will God tell you when you finally come face-to-face with Him?”

In our earthly journey we encounter all sorts of people. Some are sinners. Some are saints. Many of us are not big-time sinners and definitely not saints. What should keep us humble and hopeful is the thought that there is no sinner without a future, and that there is no sinner without a past.

(Share ko lang itong article na ito na nabasa ko sa GMA.news.TV)

Pakiusap namin sa mga mister
http://www.gmanews.tv/story/175683/pakiusap-namin-sa-mga-mister


Hi sa inyong lahat mga kababayan ko at home at sa abroad. Sa sobrang hirap ng buhay sa Pilipinas, ang pag-a-abroad ang unang maiisip na solusyon ng halos lahat na nandito na sa abroad. Kahit alam namin na buhay ang nakataya,sinikap pa rin naming makalabas for so many reasons.

Binalewala na namin ang sarili namin, our first priority ay ang family. Minsan kahit malas ang buhay dito, tinitiis na lang para may perang mapadala sa Pilipinas. Para naman sa katulad ko na may mga asawang naiwan, sana isipin n’yo rin na nagtitiis kami para sa ikabubuti ng ating pamilya. Pero ano ang nagiging kapalit noon?

Habang kami ay nagsisikap dito, kayong mga asawang lalaki ay nagpapasarap ng buhay, nambabae at halos ubusin na ang perang ipinapadala sa walang kuwentang bisyo. Sana mahiya naman kayo. Kmi na nga ang tumatayong padre-de-familia ‘yon pa ba ang isusukli ninyo?

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All we are asking from you is to be a good husband. Is that too much to ask? Sana maawa naman kayo sa amin. â€" Ivy
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All we are asking from you is to be a good husband. Is that too much to ask? Sana maawa naman kayo sa amin. Alam n’yo ba na 24/7 ang trabaho namin dito? Kahit ‘di na namin kaya, kinakaya at tinitiis pa rin naming…at alam nyo ba kung bakit? because of you!

Kayo ang insperasyon namin kaya kahit anong hirap ay makaya namin dito. Iniisip kasi namin na we have to do this, or that para may maipadala na naman kami sa end of the month. Gusto kasi namin na kahit mamatay-matay na kami sa hirap dito basta mabigyan namin kayo ng magandang buhay.

So sinulat ko ito in behalf ng mga asawang nandito sa abroad na nagpapaka-martir dahil sa pamilya. Ika nga, everything we do, we do it for you... so please help us.

Ivy

A close friend of our family sent a forwarded message that tells semantic reasons why women cry.

The story was all about a little who boy asked his mother why she’s crying. The mother told her son, “Because I’m a woman.” The boy, not satisfied with her mother’s answer went to his father and asked him, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?” His father replied. “All women cry for no reason.”

I read so much about stories and articles trying to explain countless reasons why women cry. There are those who say that women cry because of biological reason while there are those claiming that women are using it to gain psychological advantage over their men. For me, I'm fortunate of having a wife who cries easily because I knew that she would bear all things and together, we will go over all these things no matter what, against all odds, through thick and thin and come hell or high water. She cries with me as well during my lowest of all lows sharing my pains and sometimes taking it away from me so as to make feel comfortable. We cried together not to show our vulnerability or weaknesses but to accept our constant need of God's help and only through Him that we surrender everything.

To all the husbands, I tell you how fortunate you are for having wives who cry. Surely, you knew that you have a spouse that will always be with you, behind you right or wrong. A wife who tries to hold on and on till eternity. Though I pray that your wife's tears will not run dry or her heart turns to stone for one day, you will wake up to find out that it is all over.

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, October 26, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
 

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll -- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity -- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things -- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch -- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost -- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live -- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
 
Class 14
The Stove/Oven -- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for
the best chuckle of their day!

Lately, I was in deep solitude thinking about domestic concerns that trouble my family back home in the Philippines. This thing worries me that at times, I was having a procrastination of things that I really have to do. Though I was looking for an answer from the Bible but seems like I couldn’t get the right connection as if I’m inside but looking outside. Until suddenly I got a forwarded message from an acquaintance (actually a relative of mine) sharing some phrases that later uplift my spirit. The phrases permeate into my heart as if “Somebody” up there is telling me, “Move on son.” I would like to share these phrases hoping you will find it, too, worth reading. Who knows, you might be in a situation now where I was before?

[/i]

Everything in life happens for a reason especially if you are brought in a situation where everything is connected and suddenly you realized that you become a piece to the puzzle, joined together to form a picture of a big journey in life we calledâ€"reaching out for others.

It all started when I read an email from Joanne (a co-parent from Don Bosco), encouraging good souls to join their group’s relief operations to help the community living in Sulyap Housing Project in Bagong Silangan, Quezon City. At first, I was reluctant to make a reply for I thought that I could not be of much help as a volunteer being out of the country nor could dole out something as charity to the victims of calamity. But I found myself typing some words of encouragement offered by way of prayers and after hitting the send button, there goes my message sent back to letter sender.

Few days later, I was chatting with my wife in the internet and I was surprised when she told me that she was coordinating with Joanne and another co-parent of ours, Bess, regarding how she could be of help to Joanne’s group. She must have had read Joanne’s email and responded by offering some used clothing. Although her initial plan was just to meet with Joanne and her husband at our house to donate the items but later, she decided to join the couple in distributing relief goods in that community greatly affected by the typhoon Ondoy. It came to me as a surprise because my initial doubts that I could not be of much help was answered as if God was telling me, “Son, doubt not my power to make things happen. When I’m calling you, just say, Yes or No.” Just the same, I didn’t tell my wife that I emailed Joanne nor that message posted by her and there was no communication, ever of any sort with regards to that thing. Everything just happened instantaneously as if somebody is telling us individually what to do.

The place (as I’ve seen in the pictures) looks like a God-forsaken place and by comparison, we must have been fortunate that we still have a place to sleep at night even our roof is leaking. We are still blessed that we don’t lose any of our children even at times we dread the nuisance they brought on us of their constant whining. Lastly, we are still fortunate that despite having our own difficulties in life, we are the one extending help rather than being the ones being helped and I could say nothing but to thank the Lord that my family is still alive.

When God calls us, He is giving us the free-will to say ‘YES’ or ‘NO’ but when we call to Him, His has only two answers; ‘YES’ and ‘NOT NOW’.

I don’t want to say that the recent havoc brought about by typhoon ‘Ondoy’ is a blessing in disguise for it may add insult to the sufferings of our ‘kababayans’ deeply affected by it. However, there are many lessons that can be learned from this disaster. 

First, life’s adversity is a good equalizer. No rich or poor can be spared that is why we have to respect the ‘laws of nature’ and stop abusing our environment.  This can be done by owing responsibility to ourselves in protecting our environment. We can start by disposing our garbage properly and not in the ‘esteros’  causing clogged waterways. After all, we are only stewards of God’s creation.

Second, unfortunate event such as this brings out the ‘soft side’ of us humans. The pouring of compassion for fellowmen is endless. Young and old alike, rich and poor work hand in hand. No doubt, calamities relive the spirit of Filipino ‘Bayanihan’.

Third, it teaches us to rely more on our own capabilities rather than owing everything to the government. Yes, the government has its constitutional responsibility to its people, but facing a life-threatening situation or facing an imminent danger (flood), no one is in the better position to defend or save you but yourself.

Lastly, adversity teaches us to humble ourselves and to submit to the will of the Divine Creator. While some of us may argue that disasters such as this is attributed to neglect of responsibilities on the part of the government, property developers and urban planners alike but lest we forget that it can also be part of the ‘grand design’ made by the ‘architect’ of all architects. Who knows but Him.

Friends, let's all humble ourselves and ask for God's mercy to deliver us from all sorts of danger brought about by calamities.

The prayer:

“Almighty Father, we raise our hearts to You in gratitude for the wonders of creation of which we are part, for Your providence in sustaining us in our needs, and for Your wisdom that guides the course of the universe.

“We acknowledge our sins against You and the rest of creation.

“We have not been good stewards of Nature.

“We have confused Your command to subdue the earth.

“The environment is made to suffer our wrongdoing, and now we reap the harvest of our abuse and indifference.

“Global warming is upon us. Typhoons, floods, volcanic eruption, and other natural calamities occur in increasing number and intensity.

“We turn to You, our loving Father, and beg forgiveness for our sins.

“We ask that we, our loved ones and our hard earned possessions be spared from the threat of calamities, natural and man-made.

“We beseech You to inspire us all to grow into responsible stewards of Your creation, and generous neighbors to those in need.

“Amen.”

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said,

"Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played,

"The Star Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

By the way, do you know what is the meaning of Bible?
It's Basic Information Before Leaving Earth

“Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage?"

Yes there is. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another.

Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Its Old love.

I’m a father of 4 kids’ ages 17, 13, 10 and 5. Being an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) myself, my job requires me to spend most of it away from my family. That is why I have to make the most out of my time in every opportunity that comes along the way to be with them, especially my vacations in the Philippines.

The Bible says that children are a reward from the Lord, and blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Ps. 127). I have certainly found that to be true. But I’ve also found that the fuller my quiver gets (I’ve got one handsome and three beautiful little arrows) the harder it is to find the time to give each child the attention they need and deserve.
My most recent vacation in the Philippines was very grueling but rewarding for I have to balance my own activities with my children’s schedule. As I glanced at my schedule for the coming weekend at that time, five day seminar dominates the landscape, along with the list of household chores, tutoring and errands longer than any one man should have to face. And these are supposed to be my days off!

Can you relate? If so, here are things I do to develop my relationship with my kids, in spite of a hectic schedule.

1. Take one child or two along on a short trip
Last month I had an errand to the mall to buy grocery items, and I took my two little daughters with me. The time the three of us spent in the grocery and in the car every errand was invaluable, and now they always asked me, “Dad, when are we going to do shopping again?” A one or two day trip like this is a great chance for you to connect with your kids.

2. Give them nicknames
Each of my kid has a nickname that no one else has. We’ve got ‘Mouse’, ‘Senyor’ and ‘Amag’ and my even my wife was not spared as I have assigned her a nickname as well. These nicknames tell them, “You know what? You’re special.”

3. Take them on dates
I try to have regular dates with each of my children. Like my wife, they deserve to have my undivided attention every once in awhile. This is more than just letting them come along as I run errands. I build the time around them, doing things they enjoy and just talking together.

4. Eat one meal together each day
In our home breakfast is chaos, and by lunchtime we are scattered to the four winds. But as much as possible we try to have dinner as a family. This is our time to reconnect and recharge after a busy day. It’s our chance to celebrate victories, and to help each other through the tough things.

5. Pray together at night
Every night before bed I pray with my kids in our room. We pray about their past, their present and their future. We thank God for sending His Son for us. We pray about their current needs and concerns. And we pray together for their future spouses, asking God to cause them to grow in faith and purity.

6. Be available
Our children need to know that they are more important to us than anything else. At the last day of my seminar (also the day of my examination) at the Philippine Trade Training Center in Pasay, I received a distress message that I have to fetch my kid from school who was left out by her school service. Being a Friday that day, the car I was driving is not allowed on the street as per number coding scheme, I have to go out of my way to evade traffic enforcers just to make myself available. Great distance is also not an excuse for me that I have to do Math tutoring to my daughters and son via internet (SKYPE and YM) and my kids have permission to text me on my cell phone anytime they need help in their assignments.

7. Put their activities into your schedule
My Facebook calendar and my desk planner are filled with my kids’ activities, practices and games. While I can’t make it to all of them while I’m away, but as much as possible I am there to cheer them on. I don’t want to miss their big moments!
The Bible speaks of children as arrows. I picture myself taking aim, pulling back the bow and launching them into the world. The target that they hit depends in large part on the amount that I invest in them today. Does it take effort? Yes. Are there tough choices sometimes? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely.

Malaysian sentenced for forcing wife to have sex
(philstar.com) Updated August 06, 2009 03:53 PM 

KUALA LUMPUR (AP) -- A Malaysian man who forced his wife to have sex with him has been sentenced to the maximum five years in jail, in the country's first successful prosecution under a new law against marital rape.

Prosecutor Law Chin How said the man was sentenced in a sessions court in eastern Pahang state Wednesday.

He said the case was the first in the country under a 2007 law that makes it illegal for a husband to cause "fear of death or hurt to his wife ... to have sexual intercourse."

"We asked for a heavy sentence. First of all to protect women ... and to give others encouragement to stand up," he said Thursday.

The amendment to the penal code that made marital rape a crime was considered a small step toward women's rights in conservative Muslim-dominated Malaysia. But some activists say it doesn't go far enough because the law doesn't stipulate a minimum sentence, which means a man could go to jail for as little as a day even if convicted.

The 35-year-old man was, however, sentenced to the maximum five years allowed. The punishment for rape outside marriage is up to 30 years.

The man was also sentenced to 10 years in jail and three lashes of the whip for forcing his wife to have anal sex, Law said. Anal sex, even when consensual, is a crime punishable by up to 20 years imprisonment in Malaysia. The sentences are to run concurrently.

Law said the man changed his plea from innocent to guilty for both charges Tuesday, a day after the trial started.

Women should not have children after 35. Really ... 35 children are enough.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

"No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning."

I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18"

The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'

Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea ..."

Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.

I see your IQ test results were negative.

Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the
basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.


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Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.


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Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?

A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.


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Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?

A: Their foreheads.


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Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "I remember these".

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,

"For being such a wonderful married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each one wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for : the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her

hands. Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said:


"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. "

The wife, and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! -the husband became 92 years old.

A little girl called Emma asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later  Emma asked her father the same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.

The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her.

"I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,

4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. It comes from a church affiliated elementary school. Test kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible, written by the children have neither been retouched nor corrected. All spelling remains as the children spelled the words. Item #10 made me laugh though.

1.) In the first book of Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

2.) Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark and the animals came on in pears.

3.) Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day and a ball of fire at night.

4.) The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

5.) Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6.) Sampson slayed the Philistines with the Axe of the Apostles.

7.) Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients

8.) The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

9.) The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple

10.) The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11.) Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

12.) The greatest miricle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand to stand still and he obeyed him.

13.) David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

1.) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

2.) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

3.) Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

4.) Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

5.) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker?'

6.) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

7.) Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

8.) Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

9.) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

MORAL OF THE STORY: BEHIND EVERY MAN IS A SMART WOMAN

Mahirap talaga ang long distance relationship pero hindi dapat ito ang maging dahilan para panghinaan tayo ng loob sa pagtulak natin sa ibang bansa para maghanap-buhay. Marahil, marami sa ating mga kababayan ang di sang-ayon sa pagalis ng isang kabiyak para mangibang-bayan, pero sa panahon ngayon, survival of our family overtaken the underlying risks of going abroad. Isa sa mga tamang paraan to survive a long distance relationship is for both partners to be surrounded by good friends and group of trusted people. Yung mga taong alam mo na may takot sa Diyos at mga tunay na kaibigan.

Kalimitan kasi sa mga failure of marriages (oftentimes caused by infidelity)is when one partner is surrounded or always in the company of opportunistic person (in case sa babae). Kunwari, the male friend is there for her to comfort the woman-friend who was left by her husband for abroad, yung pala, he will just take advantage of the woman’s frailty. Yung iba naman, sa halip na bigyan ng spiritual guaidance at moral support ang babae, e niyaya pa sa mga aktibidades na kadalasan napupunta sa di magnadang ending. Aba!, marami na akomg narinig na kwento ng mga amiga na yayain ang kaibigang babae na mag ballroom dancing or mag aerobics kunwari (para di malungkot sa pagalis ni mister sa abroad), e ang siste, naibugaw pa ang pobreng misis ng OFW na mainlove sa macho at gwapong D.I. or Gym instructor. Walang masama sa paglilibang pero dapat piliin ang appropriate na paglilibang base sa estado mo sa lipunan, kung ikaw ay babae na may asawang nasa abroad, di maganda sa mata ninuman (lalo na sa asawa mo) na makita ka sa company bg ibang lalake (kahit na ang relationship ninyo is entirely professional), pero sa dami ng kwentong malungkot, kalimitan, dyan nagsisimula ang lahat.

Sa mga lalaki naman na naiwan sa Pinas at ang babae ang nasa abroad, choose your barkada wisely. Kasi kadalasan, ang mga masamang barkada ang kadalasan na nagbubuyo sa lalaking naiwan sa Pinas sa mga bisyo gaya ng beerhouse, sugal then later on pambabae na, ang resulta broken family. Lalo na si Mister, siyempre, proud sa mga barkada niya, “pARE, pensiyonado ako dito ni Misis, buwan-buwan, may remittance, o ano ano ang gusto ninyong pulutan?” Sana lagi nating tandaan na ang pangingibang bayan ng ating kabiyak ay desisyon ng magasawa kaya kinakailangan na maging responsable tayo sa tungkuling na naiwan sa atin. Hindi komo lalaki tayo ay di natin aalagaan ang ating mga anak. Wag iasa sa YAYA ang pagpapalaki sa mga anak, bilang ama, punuaan natin ang responsibilidad na naiwan sa inyo ng inyong mga asawang babae. Wag mahiya na magpalit ng diaper, magpadede ng mga sanggol, di naman nakakabawas ng pagka-lalake ang mga gawaing ito kung ating gagawin diba?

Ang pag-aabroad ay di dapat maging hadlang sa pangarap ninyo na guminhawa ang buhay at wag matakot sa mga risks na kakaharapin ninyo dahil sa long distance family relatiomship. Bagamat may mga unrecoverable losts na kaakibat ng Pinoy migration (gaya ng quality time at di nakagisnan paglaki ng mga bata, or lost of physical intimacy) pero mas maigi na siguro ito kaysa sa makita mong magutom at di makapag aral ang mga anak mo dahil sa kawalan ng oportunidad dahil sa sistema sa atin sa Pinas. Maging matatag lang tayo at palaging buksan ang komunikasyon sa isat-isa at ang pinaka-importante, wag makalimot na tumawag sa Panginoon, di lamang sa panahon ng kagipitan ngunit matuto ring magpasalamat sa oras ng kasaganahan.

1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?"
Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
Yaya: "Dows are not boats, dey're yachts."
Kid: "Yaya, spell yachts?"
Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are boats."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
Doc: "Bottlefed?"
Woman: " Brea - stfed po."
(Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh."
Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
"Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: "Ma'am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
6. Yaya: "Huhuhu?"
Ate: "O, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat? "
Yaya: "Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi."
Ate: "O, bakit ka di makatulog?"
Yaya: "Kasi po may pinoproblema ako?"
Ate: "Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!"
(Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?"
Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, "Paano mo naman nasunog to?"
She answered: "Secret!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
"Ang pangit naman, happy ending!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!"
Yaya: "Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!"
Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin ko?"
Mom: "It's up to you."
(During dinner) Mom: "Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, 'kitsup tuyo'!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
12. Our neighbor's yaya: "Junjun, chew your mouth!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: "Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?"
SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!"
INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin?kapkeyk? "
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: "Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
16. "O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?"
Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, 'concentrate' ?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
18. Neighbor's yaya telling the dog to climb down the stairs:
"Down to earth! Down to earth!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
"Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya's son.
So one day I was reviewing him: "The Earth is the 3rd planet from
the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?" His mom, our yaya, answered:
"Parang Watson's yata?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?"
Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!"
Sir: "Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?"
Yaya: "Gunting, kuya! Gunting!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
22. Yaya to tricycle driver: "Magkano sa City Hall?"
Driver: "Ikaw lang?" Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: "Yaya?"
Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!"
Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!"
Yaya: "Si Koya naman?nagsa- suggest lang?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
"Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
Bro: "Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
"Ma'am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit?promise! "
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre
in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?
"Kapre yun ma'am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
29. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang aso?"
MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap."
AMO: "Nakamamatay ba yun?"
MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: " Hilo ?"
We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, "Yaya, baliktad!"
Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"

I’ve read an article posted in a Filipino social networking site written by an individual who abhorred those Catholic believers specifically, OFWs. The author describes Filipino’s toiling in the foreign land as unworthy considering its down sides which he described as “dark and nasty.” He further continued that no one better benefit from it (Filipino migration) except the Philippine government who proud itself of being a nation of servants. In so saying that for GMA calling PINAY domestic helpers as SUPERMAIDS, the author said that he is not proud of a nation that promotes glorification of modern day slavery of our women.

From a purely political observation, the author veered on the aspect of religion by criticizing the Catholic faith as a religion of double standards. The author anchored his conclusion by citing inconceivable and unverified data that in a town where he lives, a little more than one hundred PINOYS and among the 21 couples he knew, not one is properly married. “I found it obnoxious that on weekends, they attend religious meetings”, quoted by the author referring to these Catholic followers way of living in sin and yet continue to attend religious gatherings.

The author, as I understand his way of writing his piece is more of retaliatory than constructive. Perhaps it is his way of responding to the harsh criticisms he might have read concerning the religion that he’s practicing. However, the author’s selective approach in presenting facts is of course biased (as expected) in favor of his religious belief.

It is undeniably true that the numbers of physically, sexually and verbally abused PINAY OFWs are growing exponentially and majority of these atrocities happened in the Middle East countries. If I were to used the pretext of the author in condemning these Catholic followers of double standards, whatever conclusion one can derive from the incident of abuses in these countries (Middle East) is as worthy as the author’s postulating those incident he observed in his town. But who among us is not a sinner? Can anyone claim the authority to cast the first stone to these PINAYS who are adulterers?

When Jesus went to the Mount of Olives, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus.” Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing Him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with His finger. When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, Sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you, “Jesus declared. “Go now and sin no more.” (John 8:1-11)

What about these Catholic sinners (as what the author implies) practice of attending religious meetings and yet living together as couple without the sanctity of marriage? Let see what Jesus said about this.

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For, I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mathew 9:10-13)

One should not claim generalization of something even it is based on facts.  Facts as it may seem but it doesn’t hold true to conclude that the majority is the same and more importantly, none of us, not even one can claim moral ascendancy to “cast the first stone” towards our fellowmen on the virtue of one’s religious belief that he is righteous and others are not.

(Note: I would like to post an article written by a certain Dr. Nosca Khalid and my reply to this article at the bottom. - Gener)

OFWs: the unspeakable…DARK SIDE
by Dr. Nosca Khalid -

For all the talks of the good life that foreign employment accorded to some, the flip side is dark and nasty. It is not worth it coming from one who is a beneficiary of it. Except for the government that survives upon its fruits, the future of this country is bleak if it continues to economically depend upon its overseas foreign workers. We have sold our souls to the devil is a Faustian chronicle (of the damned) that perfectly describe the state of our nation today.

Instead of the government devising means to streamline the exodus of our finest (the best of them are not coming back for good), it emblazoned in media headlines of how the government negotiated with this country and that country to enslave more of our people at a miserly wage. This is a government who takes pride at the rising number of its citizens seeking employment outside of the country to serve the people of the world. In simpler terms, the government is a pimp who sells its people not to the highest bidder but anyone who has a change to spare. Domestic helpers are paid a miserly wage of 100-150 dollars for 24 hours of work a day, 7 days a week and on the sideline, they get raped, beaten, starved and chained. Unlike GMA, I am not proud. Calling them SUPERMAIDS is glorification of modern slavery of our women and GMA being in that gender breed should of all people strive to stop it. (as of this writing; another DH in Kuwait killed a child under her care. She tried to kill the other siblings before leaping from the second floor in an attempt to end her life.)

I want to see someone in Malacañang who will take pride at keeping its people within its borders and herald with joy the lessening number of its citizens leaving the country.

INFIDELITY, the mother of break-ups is a delicate issue that the media will not touch with a totem pole. It is an unspeakable topic that even NGOs don’t feel comfortable with but it is a damning scourge that cannot be ignored for long.

Of the 21 Filipino couples that I counted in this town out of little more than a hundred PINOYS, not one is properly married. Only 5 are legal but not proper because they are Filipino females (cream of the crop) married to aliens from the Indian subcontinent. Either one or both of the couples have families back home (no exception). Call it marriages of convenience but it is wrong viewed from whatever angle coming from a country we often call “seradong katoliko” meaning strictly catholic. The ones that give me goose bumps (and scare) are those females living double lives. They go home to their husbands and come back to Saudi Arabia in the embrace of their waiting lovers. We live in a society where men, but not our women although we don’t condone it, live double lives. Women can argue that if men can, why not us? While it is a logical argument, it is not acceptable in most societies we consider civilized. Even feminists will not condone its practice by women of decency.

Due to my fear that it could lead to violence (if husbands learn the truth), I encourage some of the women to divorce their husbands. So far there are no takers and after many years; my fear seems unfounded. I like to call them THE FEARLESS because neither are they afraid of God nor of the social mores they are bound by society to abide with. I found it obnoxious that on weekends, they attend religious meetings. They continue to break the most fundamental of the TEN COMMANDMENTS (Moslems and Christians subscribe to it) and they go to religious gatherings. We are neither saints or angels but to ridicule our faith with impunity is damning. Religion is not a joke..

OFWs will continue to fuel the engine of the Philippine economy while the social fabric that is supposed to be the foundation of a stable society will continue to loosen. Prolonged family separations are social strains that undermine the family’s cohesiveness. As a result, the inflating number of broken families is destabilizing the social fabric that offsets whatever financial gains we get from our foreign workers.

In the early days when foreigners started to trickle in the Middle East that eventually mushroomed to what it is today, the government of Saudi Arabia was very strict. It verified marriage certificates at the Philippine Embassy but due to bad publicity they get from western media for being too strict, the government stopped caring. Today employers not only amusingly accept anything resembling a marriage contract but they wed anyone who accepts Islam without any questions asked. Fake marriages run into trouble when children are born but Filipinos are doers of the impossible. To avoid landing them in jail, the embassy is forced to provide papers to the illegitimate children but it is nonetheless a partner in the crime. To the men, I advised them to revert to Islam where polygamy is allowed in circumstances exactly similar to where they find themselves in but for the women, I said, “sorry, there is no salvation for you in Islam.” I advised them though to seek salvation among the Mormons, a Christian sect where Polyandry is permitted (the practice had been long abandoned by its adherents). My town is cradled in the mountainous heights of Saudi Arabia. It is a tiny dot of TIHAMALAND in your map better known to western adventurers as ARABIA FELIX straddling the border with Yemen. It is the last frontier of Saudi Arabia meaning old traditions are practiced here more than anywhere else in the Arabian Peninsula. If it can happen here, it can happen anywhere in the world. If you imagine this town at the tip of an inverted Pyramid, you begin to see the big picture where sky is the limit.

Nosca Khalid
Author: "APOCALYPSE COUNTDOWN 666"
(amazon.co.uk/januspublishing.co.uk)


My reply:

OFWs Voice from the Dark
By: Gener Marcelo

In as much as I don’t want to give credit to this article written by a certain Dr. Nosca Khalid titled, “OFWs: the unspeakable DARK SIDE” by replying to it. However, I feel the need to defend not only our hapless OFW migrants but also my personal belief as a Christian.

The author (I assume is a believer of Islam and I doubt if he is a Filipino) is right when he pointed out the Philippine government ineptitude in providing decent jobs for these talented but luckless Filipinos. However, this is already a proven fact. Ask every OFW’s you may know and they will tell the same observations as what the author had said in his article and we don’t need anybody, not even an author with a doctorate degree to tell us Filipinos the sorry state of our government’s policy with regards to migration. However, I would appreciate more if Dr. Khalid offers solution more than just stating the problem as it is. As I have said, we already knew it that is why we are relying in our own way of helping ourselves more than our government. At the very least, this would be far better than just crying and howling in the dark waiting for alms to feed ourselves. Given this situation, Filipinos are embracing the risks and all the downsides of leaving our families back home. While there may be happy stories in Filipinos going abroad but sad stories outweigh the good ones. This however does not prevent us from fulfilling our obligation to our families.

Filipinos are well known for its resiliency and because of it, we are often the subject of abuse by the very same people we believed will treat us in a humane way, regardless weather we are Christian and they are Muslims. Look at the headlines of the news today, how many OFWs suffered at the hands of their employers? Look at the statistics of human rights violations committed against OFWs by their employers in the Middle East? Isn’t it they are also believers of Islam?

One should not claim superiority over the other by way of finding justification on some else’s failure. While Filipino Christians abhor sinful ways of our fellowmen, however, it is not right to label every Filipinos alike to be one and the same in the same way that Muslims abhor their Muslim brothers who resorted to violence in the practice of their faith.

Respect is the key to a mutual coexistence. Without this, nobody has the right to claim superiority over the other just because they have what other may not have.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the husband's best friend was dead on their porch.

There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither
Pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in
England, French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are
square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it
a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth,  shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.

If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park
on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which
you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell
is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when
the lights are out they are invisible.

And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts
but when I wind up this story it ends?

And more......................... Some food for "Thought"

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles, "
why aren't people from Holland called Holes?"

If ever I will see a Filipino who is in dire need of a job but didn't finish any formal schooling, and would consider any job like janitorial, I will advise him/her to apply or run as a President instead of applying to become a Janitor in Canada, for I know he/she would surely pass the qualifications of being a President of the Republic than that of a Janitor. You don't believed me, right? OK, see it for yourself.

Janitor Qualifications

Experience in commercial cleaning methods and procedures, general repair, and grounds keeping;
Ability to lift heavy equipment (up to 50 lbs);
WHMIS certification;
Effective interpersonal and organizational skills;
Ability to communicate effectively in both the written and oral form;
Willingness to work as part of the school support team.

Source:
http://ls-strait.ednet.ns.ca/srsb/SRSBoard.nsf/0/6ce0714354af746e84256c2b004a952d?OpenDocument


And now, the qualifications to become a Philippine President;

Under Article 7, Section 2 of the Philippine Constitution, in order to serve as President, one must be:
1) at least 40 years of age,
2) a registered voter,
3) able to read and write,
4) a Filipino citizen by birth, and
5) a resident of the Philippines for at least 10 years prior to election.

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_Philippines

The man slowly looked up.  This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life.
Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life.
His first Thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like So many others had done before.
"Leave me alone," he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing.  She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.
"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone. Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked. "No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?" The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?" "See that   cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile." "Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything." "This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this, is this man in trouble?" "This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered. "Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business." Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?" "Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms." "And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"  "What business is that of yours?"  I, sir, I am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company." "Oh." The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?" "No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty.” “Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?""Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."The cafeteria manager turned on his heel, "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer." The officer watched him walk away.  "You certainly put him in his place," he said. "That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this." She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?" Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar." "I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry." "Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began.  "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat." Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy." "I know," the woman continued, "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right." "So you started your own business?" Old Jack said. "I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr.  Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you need anything, my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he said. "Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus. He led me to you." Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for all your help, officer," she said. "On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And...And thank you for the coffee."

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.

If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh.

But, if you have missed knowing my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, you have missed everything in the world.

Have a Wonderful Day. May God bless you always and don't forget that when you "cast your bread upon the waters," you never know how it will be returned to you.

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!

The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for today and let things work in your favor.

If you believe, share this. If you don't believe, delete this.

God closes doors no man can open, God opens doors no man can close.

If you need God to open some doors for you, send this on.

Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing to someone else.

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.”

Outing my father


By Melody
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 21:06:00 06/19/2009

Filed Under: Gender Issues, relationships and dating, Family, Youth


MANILA, Philippines â€" My father and I were extremely close. Sometimes, even my high school classmates would express envy at our closeness. I would tell my dad everything, and I was more close to him than my mother.

No one would have guessed that he is gay. He works for an IT company as a consultant for foreign transactions and though it is not as “macho” as say, a position in the military or in an architectural or engineering firm, his work reflects himselfâ€"highly organized, quick to respond to changes and find solution to problems.

For prom he drove me to the salon and gave me money to choose a dress. He showed support by trusting my date; he was quite open-minded in my choice of boyfriends. He was never strict; he was like a “kabarkada.” He would even sit down with me and mom watching chick flicks.

But I noticed he was not physically expressive toward my mother. He never held her hand, and his kisses were limited to her cheeks. Perhaps it comes with age, I told myself.

He was a gym buff. After work he would spend probably two hours at the gym, sometimes longer. We would always eat dinner late, because mother insisted on having dinner together all the time. My older brother hated it, because we would have school the next day and we prioritized getting a good night’s sleep. So, poor mother would wait until my dad was home for dinner. He would be normally late: sometimes he would stay overnight at work for “business transactions.”

I discovered his real identity when I used his computer without his knowledge. As soon as I went online using my father’s e-mail account, a “hi baby” popped in instant message. My stomach felt a knot as soon as I saw who he was. The avatar on the instant message was a foreigner. And that foreigner was a man.

I signed off immediately and felt confused. Was he cheating on my mother?

And was this whole guy avatar thing just a mere shady way of masking the true identity of this person trying to ruin my family?

It was a bizarre feeling that while I could tell him everything, I could not dare bring up what I had discovered.

I felt betrayed , hurt and angry. How dare he do this to my mother, the perfect wife!

I can’t remember how it all started, but months before graduation in high school, my mother had a serious talk with me. Since I was moving out for university, she said it was important for me to know something before I leave.

Her voice was firm.

“Your father is different…” she said. “He’s gay. Never lose your love to your father. He is always that way. But I love him nonetheless. I have understood his urges to meet up with men sometimes, but I am fine with that. ”

No amount of words can describe how shocked I was.

That was several years ago. Now, despite my discovery about my father’s sexuality, I maintain my respect for him. Years ago maybe I would have crazily mess my life up. But I see no reason to do so now.

I admire his courage, and his dedication to our family. Now that I have a child of my own, he is every bit a loving “lolo” to my baby. And my love has never changed.

(Melody told this story to 2bU correspondent Cristina P. Agatep)

A sinner is different from a liar.

A sinner is the one who did something bad as a result of his being an imperfect being.
But a sinner could look into your eyes when he wanted you to believe on things he wanted to say.
Would you believe a sinner if he tells you that he’s a sinner?
He may be a sinner but it doesn’t mean that he’s not capable to telling you the truth.
Remember he is a sinner but not a liar.

A liar on the other hand can appear as a perfect from the outside.
One who masters the art of deception and could portray as saint.
But be wise not to believed in everything a liar will say,
For a liar has the mastery in the art of deception and feels no remorse about it.

Between the two, who would you rather be?

“Be honest even when others are not, even if others cannot and even others will not.”

A learned man


By R. Valencia, S. Bismark
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 22:17:00 06/12/2009



WHAT kind of friends should we keep? Some good advice from two ancient Chinese stories:

Fu Yuan was a learned man who was given the responsibility of educating the crown prince of the land. He was worried about the bad company his ward kept when he learned that the prince’s playmates were influencing him to indulge in gambling and cheating.

Taking his responsibility to heart, Fu told his student, “To be a good person, you must be in the company of upright people. Anything that comes into contact with vermillion will be stained red; anything that touches ink will be dyed black. Be strict with yourself and be on your best behavior. Only then would people of good moral character be willing to be associated with you.” The emperor heard about the lesson imparted by the teacher and ordered that his wise words be inscribed onto a silk screen and displayed in the room of the crown prince.

Lesson learned: “One’s morals are influenced by the company he keeps.”

Recommendations

During the wars of the provinces in China, Chunyu Kun was a high-ranking official respected for his leadership. One day, he said to his staff, “I need able men to fight in the war. Give me recommendations.”

After less than 24 hours, one person approached him and said, “I have seven brave men to recommend.” Chunyu was surprised and said, “You’ve already found seven men in just one day? How is that possible?”

The person replied, “Birds of the same feather flock together, as do wild beasts. Being brave myself, I associate with such men every day. So, it wasn’t hard to find them.” With that practical answer, Chunyu was satisfied.

Lesson learned: “Things of one kind often come togetherâ€"as do people of the same type.”

I have noticed that when a thread (not only here sa TB but also other social networking groups) talks about something related to "sex" madami ang nagpaparticipate or nagbabasa or nag o-open but if the thread topic is related to God, halos walang reply, comment or even attempts to read it. One example is yung issue na related sa sex video ng isang doctor at actress and see how many hits does this video link has in the youtube before it was removed from the site?

Bakit ba sex really sells?

Para sa aking mahay na TATAY Digo,

‘TAY, 10 days na lang from now, Fathers’ day na. Ilang taon na rin na di kita nababati tuwing sasapit ang araw na ito. Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit ngayon lang ako nagkalakas loob na batiin ka kung kailan pa na malayo ako sa inyo. Siguro dahil sentimental lang ako ngayon dahil malayo ako; di lang sa inyo kundi maging sa aking sariling pamilya. Dito sa abroad, kasama ko rin nakikipagsapalaran ang ibang mga Pinoy para lang sa pamilya nila. Ngayon ko lang siguro naintindihan ng husto ang sakripisyo ng ama, para lang itaguyod ang pamilya, to the extent of sacrificing his own happiness of going out of his ‘comfort zone,’- well becasue of family. Kaya siguro nagkaroon ako ng lakas loob na i-express sa inyo ang dapat na noon ko pa ginawa - ang batiin kayo at pasalamatan sa mga ginawa ninyo sa aming magkakapatid. Naiintindihan ko na kayo ngayon; kasi tatay na rin ako. Talagang totoo ang kasabihang, “It takes one to know one.”

Alam kong malabo na makarating sa iyo o kaya’y mabasa mo ang blog na ito, kasi di ka naman marunong mag-computer at wala naman kayong computer d’yan sa bahay. At kung meron man, e baka bago mo matutunan kung paano buksan ang computer, e di na ito uso. Kung ipapadala ko naman itong sulat ko sa inyo thru ‘registered mail or ordinary mail’, e siguro tapos na ang ‘Fathers’ day, e di pa nakakarating ito sa iyo. Kung makarating man, e siguro bago mo mabasa, tampered na dahil pag nakita ng mga ’garapal’ na postal employees diyan sa atin ang sulat na medyo makapal at lalo na galing pa sa abroad, e sigudong bubuksan para tingnan kung may laman na dolyares at saka tatatakan na lang ng “DAMAGED UPON RECEIPT.” HAY, naku, wala na tayong magagawa dun dahil sigurado, isa rin silang ama na gagawin ang lahat para sa ikabuhay ng sarili nilang pamilya - yun nga lang kahit sa maling paraan. Kaya heto, sa BLOG ko na lang idinaan ang pagbati ko sa inyo dahil gusto kong malaman ng buong mundo na mahal na mahal kita. Bagama’t wala akong pagkakataon na masabi ito sa iyo ng personal dahil malayo ako sa inyo, pero alam ko na malaki ang utang na loob ko sa inyo sa ginawa ninyong paghubog sa pagkatao ko. Kung hindi dahil sa inyong gabay, marahil palaboy ako ngayon at walang direksiyon sa buhay.

‘TAY, gusto kong malaman ninyo na naiintindihan ko na ang ibig sabihin ng bawat palo na dumadapo sa puwit ko noong bata pa ako pag nagkakamali ako. Bagama’t di ko maintindihan ang paliwanag ninyo sa akin noon kung bakit mo ako pinapalo, e siguro dahil na rin sa lakas ng iyak ko, kaya di ko marinig ang paliwanag mo. Naiintihan ko na rin ‘TAY kung bakit lagi kang mahigpit sa akin noon. Akala ko nga eh, talagang gusto mo lang na gawin yun pero naramdaman ko rin na mahal mo ako noon kasi nung malapit na ang graduation ko sa elementary, wala akong sapatos na ‘balat’ na isusuot at nasabi ko sa iyo noon na gusto ko sana ng “HARUTA” na sapatos sa graduation, (eh kasi yung ang uso noong 1980’s). Tuwang-tuwa talaga ako noon ng isang araw  pag uwi mo galing sa karera, swerte ka noon at tumama ka sa “winner-take-all” sa Santa Ana, kaya hayun, binigyan mo ako ng 600 pesos at nakabili akong ng ‘HARUTA’, eh di sikat ako sa mga ka-klase ko non!. Pagsampa ko sa stage, bagama’t wala ako sa ‘honor roll’ eh daig ko pa yung ‘Valedictorian namin, kasi siya, simple lang yung sapatos niya eh yung sa akin, yung uso.

SALAMAT ITAY, at salamat sa Diyos at ikaw ang aking naging tatay. Sana humaba pa ang buhay mo at sana magkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na maibalik sa inyo ang pagmamahal ng isang anak sa kanyan ama. Pagbalik ko ng Pilipinas ,’TAY, kahit di Fathers’s day eh, gimik tayo sa labas, kahit anong gimik ang guston mo ‘Tay, kahit sa beerhouse pa at kung gusto mong mag-table, sagot ko. Ako ng bahala kay nanay, papayag yun, malakas ako dun.

Advance HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY sa inyo ‘Itay’ at nawa’y mabasa mo itong BLOG ko na ito, kung di man dito sa lupa, siguro sa langit. I love you ‘Tay!

Regards,

Gener “Gino” Marcelo

 Sa isang kapanahunan, humarap si Satanas kay Hesus doon sa Harden ng Eden , at masayang nagyayabang.  (Luke 4: 1-12; Job 1: 6-12)

'Opo, Panginoon, sa ngayon, silang lahat ay sakop ko na,(halos lahat sila doon sa ibaba).
Naglagay ako ng mga patibong, gamit ko rin ang pa-in ng tukso,Alam ko lahat ang mga bagay ng kanilang kahinaan.Halos nabitag ko silang lahat!' (1 Ped 5: 8-9; Efe 6: 10-17)

'Ano ang gagawin mo sa kanila?' tanong ni Hesus.
at Siya ay nanalangin sa Dios Ama.

Sumagot si Satanas 'Oh, gagawa ako ng katuwaan sa kanila !'

Palalaganapin ko ang tukso para mawasak ang maraming pamilya pagkatapos nilang magpakasal upang ang pondasyon ng sangkatauhanay hindi maging matatag
'ang pamilya' (Mat 19: 4-6; Malak 2: 16 )

Pag-aawayin ko sila sa isat-isa at mag-aabusuhan silang lahat,malulong sila sa alak, droga, tawag ng laman ng walang pakundangan. (Rom 13: 12-14)

Tuturuan ko silang gumawa ng mga armas at pampasabog,upang magpatayan silang lahat

'Talagang mag e-enjoy ako ng husto!'

'At kung magsawa ka na sa katuwaan sa kanila, anong gagawing mo?'tanong ni Hesus, habang patuloy na nananalangin

'Eh di patayin ko silang lahat at ang kanilang kaluluwa'y magiging akin magpakailanman'
'Panginoon sa lahat ng aspeto, desisyon nila 'yan ' (1 John 3: 8-10)

'Magkano lahat ang gusto mo para sa kanila?' tanong ni Hesus.

'Uhmn, hindi mo sila kailangan. Wala silang maidudulot na mabuti para sa IYo.Bakit mo pa sila kailangan kung ayaw nilang sumunod ni magmahal sa Iyo? Galit sila sa Iyo! Nakita ko na maraming dumudura sa 'yo , isinumpa Ka at hindi kinikilala.' 'Dagdag pa, mahal na mahal nila ako ' (Mat 24: 10-13)

'Hindi ma kailangan ang mga taong ito!!'

'Magkano?' tanong ulit ni Hesus.


Tumingin si Satanas sa Kanya ng may pangungutya. .

'Lahat ng iyong luha at dugo,lahat ng kapighatian sa sanlibutan  lahat-lahat' (Isaiah 53: 4-10; I Ped 2: 24 )

sumagot si Hesus ...' Gawin ko'

'at binayaran Niya lahat ng katumbas ' (II Cor 5: 21 )

Napakasaklap isipin na hindi ninanais ng tao na hanapin ang Dios, ngunit nagtatanong sa sarili kung bakit ang mundo'y pabagsak sa impyerno !

Mas nabigyang pansin pa ang balitang pang araw-araw hinggil sa trahedya sa ating kapaligiran ngunit hindi natin hinahanap ang Biblia

Halos lahat ay walang katuturang nagnanais na mapunta sa kalangitan,
at naniniwalang makarating sila roon kahit walang pananalig,
kahit hindi umibig sa Dios higit pa sa lahat ng bagay ,
ni sumunod sa sinabi ng Biblia ..., ang kautusan ng Dios.

Napakasaklap na may nga taong nagsasabi'Sumasampa lataya ako sa Dios'
subalit kay Satanas pa rin sumusunod(at sa totoo lang, ni hindi natatakot sa Dios )
(2 Tim 4: 3-4; II J uan 1: 7-11)

Sa palagay nyo'y hindi isang kahinaan ang magpadala ng libo-libong 'biro o katuwaan' sa email, upang ito'y kumalat ng parang 'salot' .

Ngunit pag itoy mensahe na mula sa Panginoon,nagda- dalawang isip pa tayo bago natin ito maibahagi sa iba; at kinalimutan na lang natin ang mailboxes ng ating mga kaibigan na hindi nakabasa nito

Sa pakiwari nyo, hindi nakakagimbal na ang mga malalaswa,
makamundoat kawalanghiyaan ay kusang umiiral sa Internet,
na marami ang halos gusto nang ipasak ang sarili sa 'screen' .

Pero ipinagbabawal sa publiko ang magbahagi tungkol kay Hesus
sa mga eskwelahan, lugar ng pinagtrabahu- an,
pang kasarinlang lupon, atbp.... (Gawa 4: 19-20)

Kahit ngayong malaman ang ginawa Niya para sa atin.
dahil hindi siya pinatay ng mga Romano.. Kungdi ng ating mga kasalanan .
upang lahat tayo'y mapatawad,
at makilala Siya sa kanyang kaluwalhatian kasama ng Ama.

Parang hindi kapanipaniwala kung paanong ang iba ay nagiging ilaw
sa panahon ng 'Simba' pag pumasok sa Bahay-panambahan,
sumasamba at nagpapasalamatsa Panginoon dahil sa kanyang 'habag',
sa isang pa muling araw na naragdagan ang buhay.

Subalit sa ibang mga araw ng Linggo  sya ay nagiging invisible na Kristyano! (2 Tim 3: 1-5; Rom 10: 9-13)

Ano kaya, makatarungan ba ito?

Hwag hayaang itigil ni Satanas ang magbahagi ng e-mail na ito
para sa kakilala natin saWeb,
Hayaan na lang kahit sabihin nilang 'ayaw nilang maniwalanito'
Hwag hayaang umayong sa kanyang mga balak !

Hwag mabagabag tungkol sa sasabihin ng iba para sa iyo
Panahon na upang mabahala tayo sa 'kung ano ang iniisip ng Dios para sa atin '

Pakiusap lang mga kapatid , ibahagi mo rin ito!
'Ako, nagawa ko na, Salamat'
Pagpapalain ka nawa ng Dios (2 Cor 13: 13 )

(Note: I found this letter while browsing my CD archive looking for a reference material for the company profile that I was tasked to do. I made this letter sometime February of 2004 as requested by my son’s teacher during the Bosconians out of town retreat somewhere in Batangas. I would like to dedicate this also to all the fathers, who just like me have an unfathomable love for their kids. HAPPY FATHERS’ day to all dads out there. By the way, I had my son’s name ommitted, ayaw kasi nun ng publicity, suplado. lol)


Dear Son,

Hello son! “siguro by now you are wondering what seems life without your father and mother at your side, especially pag yung mga time na kailangan mo kami, kaya lang as in wala kami to help you out…kasi diba madalas mong sabihin na sana wag muna kaming umuwi ng mommy mo sa bahay para you can do whatever you want to do in the house…well, di kita masisisi, kasi nga naman, pag andyan kami, especially your mom, wala ka ng narining sa amin kung hindi, “don’t do this, don’t do that, etc, etc”, at kung anu-ano pang litanya. Well your mom and I just keep on hoping that someday, you will realize that we are doing this because we loved you more than our lives.. Yes son, we do loved you that much kaya we just wanted to teach you the way we think is right and good for you.

Madami kang pangarap noh?… ang dami mong plano . nakakatuwa naman na malaman yan. Kasama ba kami sa mga plano mo? ano? naku di ka agad makasagot… sige okay lang alam ko naman kung ano talaga sagot mo…

You know son, if you still remember one time noong tinanong kita nang pabiro, “anak, pag matanda na ba kami ng mommy mo, ipapasyal mo ba kami sa mga malls gaya ng ginagawa natin ngayun? Would you bother to change my diaper or my pants kapag napaihi ako sa pants because of my old age? Then sabi mo, “Ikukuha ko na lang kayo ng mag-aalaga sa iyo”,

You know son, I was so strucked by your answer, though pabiro lang ang tanong ko but I never expected your answer to be like that. Of course, pag malaki ka na and I’m sure maganda ang work mo because I know you got the ability to succeed in life dahil maabilidad ka, mana ka yata sa akin? (at mag-kamukha pa), kaya lang ang pinagkaiba lang natin siguro, eh yung pagtanaw sa pinang galingan, â€" saan? Siyempre sa aming mga magulang mo.

Alam mo anak, you can hire as many care givers para mag-alaga sa amin (dahil siguro malaki na ang sweldo mo by that time), pero son, hindi iyun ang kailangan namin ng mommy mo pag dating nang panahon na iyon kung hindi ang kalinga at pagmamahal ng sarili naming anak na bahagi ng aming dugo at buhay. Minsan tuloy natatakot akong tumanda at maging helpless na kami ng mommy mo, kasi baka you won’t bother to take care of us when we grow old.

O wag kang iiyak, di naman kita kinokonsiyensiya, basta ang gusto ko lang sabihin sa’yo na nandito lang kami ng mommy mo; kapag kailangan mo kami…pag hindi ka na busy. totoo yon! walang biro! ayaw mong maniwala?

Ganon ka namin kamahal kasi! Ayaw mo pa ring maniwala? Haaay! Remember this; kahit singit lang kami lagi sa buhay mo, kahit biglaan mo lang na natatawag ang pangalan ko dahil nagulat ka, nasaktan ka, nauntog ka o dahil part ang pangalan ko habang binabasa mo na ang sulat na ito, you will be in my heart always… and forever. Trial after trial isipin mo kasama mo ako na lumalakad, hindi man sa buhangin pero kasama mo pa rin ako dahil nasa puso kita. At sa lahat ng plano mo , kahit hindi mo ako kasama sana madinig namin ng mommy mo na mahal mo rin kami , kahit minsan lang ha? Minsan ako naman ang lambingin mo mo…miss na talaga kita eh…Sa amin ng mommy mo, hindi ka singit lang, ikaw ang bida.”

So paano, hangang dito na lang, me and your mom shall wait your arrival the following day after the retreat at the school, though Feb.25 yun, I’m not sure kung declare na holiday yun, pero, I wont mind kahit regular working day pa yun , I filed already a vacation leave on that day just to be with you once you arrived from retreat.

Sige good night and never forget to pray before you sleep,

Love,
Dad

Hi friends. I would like to start this topic of sharing articles and stories I read (others I personally wrote) that talks about DISCRIMNATION. Feel free to share your articles, too

The Color of Our Skin
By: Gener Marcelo

Our company issued a company car for my official and personal use. All seems to be well except for a fact that I couldn't use it unless I had a local Driver's License. "Ok, no big deal.” I quipped.
I recall how easily I got my Driver's License in just one day way back in the Philippines. No, I didn't bribe anybody in the Licensing Office just to get my license but went on with the usual application procedure. I took and passed the physical, written and actual driving test as required and with all these in mind, I thought that the process could be the same here in the Middle East.

After giving my personal details and with our company's Liaison Officer securing other requirements, we went straight to the local Licensing Office. The assessment and payment of fees were done in a breeze. "Well it's faster like what I thought". But when I was told by the Licensing Officer that I have to undergo a driving lesson as a requirement for a first time driver, I argued that I have already 15 years driving experience in the Philippines and it just so happened that I was not able to renew my driver's license prior to my overseas travel. My argument rendered futile and I finally conceded. "Well, I could just pretend to have the driving lesson; anyway I’m sure I will pass it."

The laugh in my face vanished when I saw the adventure that I'm about to face. The number of applicants was enormous and just like me, all are very eager to get their respective turn on the wheel - elbowing and pushing one another just to be the first in line to take the driver's seat. The pandemonium was caused by the fact that there were only a handful of instructors and test vehicles to use. With the soaring heat and humidity enough to make your sweat glands work overtime, the mayhem is an allegory of the rice shortage in the Philippines where my countrymen are shoving every inch of space to avail of that government regulated rice at a lower price. Going back to the scenario, adding nuisance to an already chaotic situation was the lack of discipline and total disregard of etiquette. First to come will be the first to serve? Forget it. Blame it to cultural differences.

I couldn't remember how many times I blew my top shouting whenever somebody tries to intrude or cut into our queue lane. But the effort turned futile, the intruder will just look at me with a smirk on his face. In such a chaotic situation everybody was obstinate. I ended my first day of driving lesson exhausted and almost on the brink of giving up. But every time I was on the brink of near surrender, I just found my feet dragging me back to the pandemonium to experience another day of lawlessness.

Days passed into weeks and the scenario remains the same. With my sun-burnt face and arms, one can easily tell that I have toiled under the sun for a long period of times - how about two weeks? I couldn't believe myself that I survived that ordeal and I almost shout for joy when I was recommended to proceed to Stage 2 Reverse Parking Test. Though the situation was not as chaotic as the first but the punishing heat and high humidity was truly unbearable.

While in line and waiting for my turn, I saw frustrations in varying forms from the face of these people. Either they weren't able to give a good driving maneuver that will surely leave an indelible ink to impress the driving instructor or maybe the growing impatience is getting on their toll. After all, these people are also human beings just like me who experienced and felt the same frustrations as I did. At that very moment, I feel ashamed of myself and I realized that the only thing that differentiates us is the color of our skins or maybe if one may add, our difference in languages, culture and socio economic status. But at that time, I realized that one's status should not be used as an excuse to give one an edge or priority over the other simply because of one reason, we are all humans regardless of the color our skin. Nonetheless, after having been soaked under the sun my skin color is no less than one and the same color as these crowd and if I cloak within the crowd, one cannot distinguish me from them only that my eyes are prominently of an Oriental-Asian race. I don't know what happens next but I just found myself engrossed with the crowd and leisurely conversing with them. At the end of that day, I found new friends, an Indian, a Pakistani and one Bangladeshi.

I passed the Stage 2 Reverse Parking Test which signals the end of our conversation but not our friendship. I moved to the last part of the testing which is the driving theory. The test is to be administered by a local police where one has to answer questions randomly selected by a computer. I took the test and failed in my first attempt. I was not even been able to finish the entire test for the system will terminate automatically since I incurred two consecutive mistakes. I was flabbergasted of the result not because the test was difficult but perhaps I let over-confidence took the hell out of me.

After a week, my schedule of test retake, I went to the examination room and I saw my friends who were about to take the exam the first time. I passed the test that time though I don't know if my friends were successful on their first attempt. All I know is that this humbling experience taught me one important lesson in life - that no matter how different we are from each other, we still have lot of things to share.

Live-in or Marriage -- Which One Guarantees a Success in Relationship?

I came across this thread posted in one of the social networking groups. The poster asked this question, “live-in or marriage, which one guarantees a lesser chance of getting divorce?

One reader reflected an answer the he read from another social networking group favoring live-in since this will give both partner a chance to know each other more before they commit themselves. While others opted on the practical aspect of it; live-in, simply because no marriage - no document - no divorce - no costs.

Ok, I don't want to appear as a self-appointed righteous so let's set aside the premise of what the Bible is saying regarding this issue. Let's try to think as what ordinary people might think and be as practical as possible. For me, marriage or live in, either case, nothing assures anything, at least with regards to having a guaranteed success in relationship.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find grounds for marriage. Live-in doesn't guarantee one's success in their marriage for we must always remember that it is the couple who makes the marriage works and not the other way around.

No amount of time spent during the live-in period can guarantee a high success rate when they so decided to get married. Likewise, marriage 'per se' can't be a sure thing, either, that everything is going to be alright between husband and wife. We must keep in mind that when we get married, one should not expect that he/she can change his/her spouse to the way he/she want him/her to be. That's the common pitfall in most marriages; unrealistic expectation that is that commonly leads to disillusion stage. (The 3rd stage in marriage cycle)

There was this saying,' in marriage, open both eyes before and closed one eye after. All those 'and they lived happily ever after’ fairy tale endings need to be changed to 'and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy’. In other words, marry the person not because you can change him/her but marry the person because you love everything about him/her and that includes his/her imperfections. After all, you aren’t perfect either, right?

Lastly, if your spouse is truly 100% perfect, he/she may not deserve you being a perfect person. He/she may find one who could be in equal footing with him/her.

“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love." (Dietrich Bonheoffer, writing to a young bride and groom from his prison cell in Nazi Germany in 1943)

Making Marriage Work Even In the Time of Migration

Absence makes the heart grow ponder but sometimes distance in a relationship is emotionally draining and can put stress on a marriage. Having a work that requires being away from my family for a long time poses a challenge to my marriage not to mention, the erosion of physical intimacy which is one of the important elements of marriage. However, intimacy can be more than just physical closeness for its how couple “connects” and be present to each other every day.  
Most couples think that being involved sexually is the most intimate part of their marriage. Praying together, however, may be an even deeper form of intimacy. A first step may be praying for each other even if not in one another's presence.

Make Use of the Technology to Fill-in the Gap

Sometimes the distance in a relationship is emotional and can happen while in each other’s presence. Be present to each other today. If possible, connect with each other right now â€" a glance, a call, an e-mail, a positive thought, a prayer. Communication should be maintained open at any cost. Be more creative when communicating with each other, more than just the usual “HI” and “HELLO” that oftentimes lead to monotonous conversation. Be resourceful and creative. Engage in some unique practices that help the two of you sparks an interactive dialogue even when you are apart for awhile. Engage in an activity that prompts discussion between you and your spouse.

I had this questionnaire downloaded on the internet that prompted a healthy and lively dialogue between me and my wife. I sent her an e-mail of this questionnaire for her to read in advance and both of us agreed about the time we will go on-line for a chat. During the dialogue, the questionnaire prompted us to check with each other to see how close we are in interpreting others words and moods. In this practice, guessing what your spouse would answer is as not as important as the discussion you have as a result of it.

Try To See a Positive Angle for Every Sorrow

Being away from your loved ones is not that easy and at times can put you in despair. However, do not abandon yourself to sorrow and do not torment yourself with brooding. There’s always a hundred reasons and causes for our sorrow but try to look at it in a positive point of view.

When I was still working in the Philippines, me and my wife enjoyed the opportunity of having a dialogue every we time we had an opportunity. Both of us like to talk about everything, from family, career, child rearing, politics and even life in general. We enjoy talking to each other and we never had a dull moment even at times that our topic was just rehearsed of our previous dialogue. It was year 2007 when I landed an overseas job in the Middle East. Physically separated and miles apart, I saw the opportunity out of my desperation to discover my passion for writing. Now, I’m having a small but growing numbers of readers who appreciate my articles, mostly related to marriage relationship. But the most important thing of all aside of finding new ways of expressing my appreciation to my wife, we just put our marriage experience in a new pedestal; the World Wide Web.

Cherished and Achieve Common Goal Together

As the saying goes, “Love does not require to look at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” I may not be physically seeing my wife nowadays but I know we have common path to travel and someday I know we can meet in path for we have our most cherished common goal.

Distance can put stress on a marriage relationship but as long as couple knows how to fill-in the gap to sustain their love in the time of migration, they can never go wrong.

I want to Grow Old with You

How do you feel about growing old with your spouse? Talk about your concerns regarding aging â€" even if you’re young. Knowing that your love is unconditional and does not depend on a perfect body is part of “for better or for worse.”

Barely 2 days before my scheduled flight back to Saudi Arabia, we packed our things and I tug along my entire family to an overnight stay in one of the hot spring resorts in Laguna. Had I agreed to the initial plan, it could just be me and my wife but I relinquished the idea for I couldn’t imagine having spent my remaining days in the Philippines without my kids by my side.

We left Manila Saturday morning and arrived at our destination by noon. Just after we checked in, my children wasted no time and immediately headed to the pool for a lazy afternoon soak. The hot water coming from a natural hot spring couldn’t stop my children from wading in the waist-deep kiddy pool. Mindless of the steaming water and the punishing heat of the sun we enjoyed the lazy afternoon, soaking our tired bodies to the pool relieving us from the stress of travel. What I like about the place is its natural tranquility and most of all is the location having been partly hidden thus making us enjoy most of our family bonding in privacy. The guests in the resort were mostly teenage sweethearts and a Chinese couple in their senior years. The couple spent most of their times taking pictures of the sceneries. I can’t help but admire them that despite having been together for a long time and yet still enjoy each other’s company.

Dinner time came and we tried the house specialty of the day; beef in sweet sauce, chicken teriyaki and pasta ala carbonara. We were in the middle of our dinner when we were approached by this elderly couple with the husband politely asking our permission if he can have our picture taken together with his wife. We agreed on his invitation and we all posed with a smile on our face as if we knew each other well. The husband, who can speak decent English and good accent offered to send us the pictures and I didn’t think twice in giving him my e-mail address.

After that dinner, we continued wading in the pool while I lazily rested my body on top of the floater still thinking about this elderly Chinese couple. I imagined me and my wife on our twilight years and still enjoying each other’s company. Isn’t it lovely to see an elderly couple holding hands in reminiscing good old memories of their yesteryears? They almost had it all and I’m sure they had surpassed the days of trials in their married life and proved to be successful in playing good music together.

As for me and my wife, though we still have so many challenging years ahead of our marriage relationship, I pray for us to reach that stage where I still hold your hands even though my hands are shaking due to rheumatism. I pray that we could still be together holding your hands while crossing the street with the flow of traffic in full halt waiting for us to cross the street inch by inch. I pray that we could reach the stage where I will ask who you are and yet holds your hand. I don’t mind holding your hands full of wrinkles, for me, it’s still the hands that take care of me and our children. Really, I don’t mind it at all for all I know is that I want to grow old with you.

"Love is not simply a feeling; it is a decision. (Marriage Encounter principle) When the feeling fades â€" and it will at times â€" recommit to building your relationship. DO something loving for your spouse. Feelings are transient; love goes beyond feelings."

Hi Mahal,

Your birthday is getting near, though this will be the 2nd time around that I will miss this special day of yours but I know you knew that my heart stays there inside of you. I hope that you still remain thankful of all the blessings that our family is continuously receiving from Him. Giving us these wonderful kids are more than enough to say that we are rich in God's grace and love.

I want you to know that I'm happy to see how our family; most especially our marriage relationship evolve with God in its midst. We may not have the material riches in the world but we are abundant of God's love and He really changed us from our once childish ways and thinking. I, for one really can't believe the kind of spiritual transformation that I have. Despite the distance between us, miles and miles away, but seems like God is working in His ways of making us feel closer. We’re miles apart yet so closed. Perhaps pure love is really what made us feel this way. 

Really, it must be our trust and faith with the Lord that make everything possible for us. Yes, we still have problems but I’m happy that these problems remain for these what make us continue to grow stronger bonded by God’s love. I’m also happy that our problems are merely financial unlike before. But I really don’t consider it as problem at all but rather a dynamo to keep us goes further, helping one another for a common cause guided by God under His wings.

Mahal, I don’t resent being here miles away from you and our kids for I already had accepted my fate as His messenger and message. He really blessed me with the gift of intelligence so that I can use it in spreading His messages outside of our family. Now I fully understand what ME’s “Reaching out for others” is all about. I may not be able to help them in material things but I believed that my prayers are more than enough for me to extend the kind of help that is expected of me. God has also blessed us with emotional and spiritual maturity and these are very evident in the ways how we handle things around us; spiritual salvation, children, dreams and aspiration in life   

As I continue to be God's messenger, may God bless us with good health for us to remain His stewards. Other than that, I couldn’t ask for anything more for we are already full of His love and grace. The fruit of our labor and sacrifices are seen the way how He is giving us the discernment in handling our marriage life. We may not be perfect but together, we are complete and are unique creations of God strongly banded by our individual imperfections.

Mahal, you are the most treasured gift that God has given me and I couldn’t ask for anything more. You complete me and I pray for us to remain in love this way, united not only in flesh but in spirit.

HAPPY __ BIRTHDAY MAHAL.


P.S.
No need to fill in your age in the blank spaces for it will only reminds us of how old we are 

Greed Not Financial Crisis

The news I read from the internet reported that unemployment rate in January of 2009 rose by 0.3 percentage point to 7.7 percent in January. Translating these figures into layman’s terms, it means that for the month of January alone, there were 2.8 million unemployed Filipinos. NSO data showed that of 37.1 million Filipinos who applied for a job, only 34.3 million got the jobs.
The country’s jobless rates climbed and this would rise further owing to the fact that there are about 275,000 people who lost their jobs since October last year. This figure is expected to rise with the addition of number s of fresh graduates this March. Analysts said it would rise further as the country feels the impact of financial crisis.

Job Mismatch is Caused by Obsolete School Curriculum

While there may be plenty of jobs available in the Philippines, job placement agencies claim that job seeker’s skills didn’t matched the required skills for the jobs. This is mainly because the curriculum that the students were getting from formal schoolings doesn’t match with the demand of the jobs that these future graduates will pursue in the future. Take for example the subjects being taught (still) in the colleges and universities. There are still History subjects, Rizal’s Work, Spanish, Panitikan, etc. Well, I’m not saying that they should not be taught to every Filipino student but these subjects should have “proper” place in the school curriculum. Introducing these subjects in the primary and secondary levels are enough but not anymore in college. Instead, CHED should initiate a thorough review of tertiary level curriculum and focus more on subjects which are requisite of specific course and put additional units in on-the-job training or internship. Perhaps, engineering courses instead of the usual 5-year program can be shortened to 4-year courses without sacrificing the knowledge and skills to be learned.

However, there are those who can meet or even excel the skills and experience required by the job but were not accepted anyway because of age factor. While others, gifted with talent (and the age factor on their side) opted to work abroad in exchange of hefty salary.  As a result, the Philippines continuously lose its battle on brain-drain while the problem of job mismatch is also increasing exponentially.

Greed Not Financial Crisis

The rising unemployment rate has always been the problem of the Philippines even before the financial global crisis. While it is true that economic crunch contributes to the rising numbers of unemployed and underemployed, however it is the unabated corruption in most government dealings and its agencies that are causing this social problem (unemployment) since the early beginning.

Low income earners and middle class Filipinos who had insured education of their children into various pre need companies, hoping that one day, they could provide better education for their children end up victims of these greedy businessmen who made used of their “intelligence” to dupe unsuspecting or gullible investors. Worse, the government agency, mandated to protect the interest of the general public ends up with some of its official, either conniving or taking part of the share in the “loot bag.”  As a result; no formal or proper education means unemployment.

At the end of the day, one need not be a financial wizard or a degree in economics from A.I.M. to understand the cause of Filipino sufferings but a careful analysis and right decision of who you will put to the position to run our country this coming 2010 election.

 

Why is that “political harassment” has always been the excuse of anybody (government or non government) accused of either corruption, misused or illegal diversion of funds; public or private?  If the accused is a public official, how come one can separate political issue wherein fact his/her assumption of position is by way of election or appointment; both political by nature? If the accused is a private entity, the lame excuse for his evil act is always political harassment. When these devil’s apostles embezzled ordinary people’s hard-earned money, political harassment is definitely not in their agenda but greed. And now that these ordinary people are seeking justice (if justice still exists in this country), they (accused) in all audacity, cried political harassment.

The same goes with their alleged protector or coddler in the government. They seem to be masters in the science of denial. How disgusting to see their faces in the national broadsheet or television professing in high heaven their innocence. “Kung nakakamatay lang ang pagmumura, matagal na siguro akong mamamatay-tao.” (If hurling invective could kill, I was a murderer then)

Kids Are Quick
____________ _________ _________ ______

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:         Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________ _________ _________ ______

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


(I Love this kid)
____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________ _________ _________ ____

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:           Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE:           I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     
____________ _________ _________ __

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:          Because George still had the axe in his hand.   
____________ _________ _________ ________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________

TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :       No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher

Tired of Dealing With Your Truculent Teensâ€"Let Me Share My Experience

I was in the construction site when my mobile phone rang. It was my wife on the other line but the signal wasn’t clear so I decided to hang up. When I reached my office, I found her off-line messages in my YM and after few “buzzing”; we were able to chat finally. Her message seems to be in resignation for a fact that she just had witnessed a quarrel between our eldest and youngest sibling. Tired from work and coming from a short errand in a grocery store, the sight of commotion understandably, is not a good way of welcoming a work-tired mother.

I waited for her to cool down and for a while, I listened as she expressed all her torment and anguish about the pressure of raising single-handedly, truculent teen and naughty youngster. By the way, lest I forget to tell, I was working overseas while my wife and my kids are in the Philippines. Absentee parenting is a great challenge and requires a lot of painstaking effort to maintain the level of discipline within the family while providing the means to sustain a living.

Parents are often pushed to the threshold of surrender when it comes to child rearing. I was once a living witness during a quarrel between my eldest son and daughter. I was taken aback by the sight of the commotion that almost shook our house. The only thing that preserved my sanity was thinking that in twenty years, my teenage boy and three girls would be having the same with their children. (LOL) What a way to get even, huh? Kidding aside, I am too tired for the terrible two’s (my 2 youngsters) and truculent teens (my eldest son and daughter). And you know what I have discovered as the best way to deal with it?â€"just let them be. As long as no one is hurting physically and no foul words are used, let your children spill out their emotions and yell out the anger. After all, feeling is neither right or wrong (Marriage Encounter Principle) so why suppress it? At the end of the day, once they are tired of the yelling and yakking, they will surely stop and will cool down naturally. Have you tried to shout continuously for 30 minutes? If not, try to do this simple test if this tip really works.

The best thing to deal with truculent teens is to do nothing. After all, weren’t you be just like your kids when you were in your teenage years?

GAWAD HAYDEE YORAC
Bohol couple’s passion: teaching physics


By DJ Yap
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 05:54:00 03/08/2009

Filed Under: Awards and Prizes, Science (general)


MANILA, Philippinesâ€"This couple, both physicists, quit their promising careers at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City, and moved to the literally greener pastures of a far-flung town in Bohol.

In 10 years, they “double-handedly” transformed the way physics, mathematics and other tough subjects are taught to high school students in the small seaside town of Jagna and many other places beyond.

For their efforts, Christopher C. Bernido and Ma. Victoria Carpio Bernido, the president and principal, respectively, of the Research Center for Theoretical Physics, have been conferred the Gawad Haydee Yorac. They are the first couple to be thus recognized.

“This comes as a total surprise for us,” Victoria, 47, said upon accepting the award on Wednesday night at the Meralco Theater in Pasig City.

Said Christopher, 52: “[This award] appears to be bigger than anything good that we might have done in the past. So how can we really pay back those people who have made this marvelous miracle?”

Now on its third year, the Gawad Haydee Yorac honors Filipino leaders who have shown outstanding public service and are shining examples of everyday heroism.

The award is handed out annually by the Manila Electric Co. (Meralco) in collaboration with UP and the Yorac family.

Haydee Yorac was a UP alumna who once served as legal counsel of Meralco. She was also director general of the Parish Pastoral Council for Responsible Voting, chair of the Presidential Commission on Good Government and chair of the Commission on Elections.

She died on Sept. 13, 2005.

Strengthening basic ed

In the early 1990s, the Bernidos headed UP’s National Institute of Physicsâ€"one of the most prestigious science institutions in the countryâ€"with Christopher serving as director and Victoria as assistant director.

But having seen the need to strengthen basic education from their experience in teaching college students, the couple left the Diliman campus and moved to Jagna, their hometown, some two hours away from the Bohol capital of Tagbilaran.

“I remember from my days as an instructor in UP Diliman, I was always saddened when I heard stories of students failing in math and in physics,” Victoria said.

She said even some students from good schools like the Philippine Science High School inexplicably failed in algebra, trigonometry, calculus and physics.

“It always bothered me. Some students even seemed brighter or more intelligent than I am, but they failed. Why?” she said.

The Bernidos eventually came to the conclusion that the best way to produce good college graduates is to produce good grade school and high school graduates.

Physics workshops

The Research Center for Theoretical Physics, which the Bernidos founded under the Dynamic Learning Program of the Central Visayan Institute Foundation, is a private school in Jagna.

Since its inception, the Research Center has been hosting physics workshops every three years, drawing experts from around the world. Two of themâ€"Gerard t’Hooft and Frank Wilczekâ€"are Nobel laureates in physics.

The workshops connect the physics departments in the Philippines to the global community, providing the faculty and graduate students the chance to network with fellow scientists abroad.

At the Research Center, the Bernidos also pioneered the “Learning Physics as a Nation” program, which limits lectures to 20 minutes and devotes 40 minutes to individual or group work.

The students are given no homework “so they can still do chores and have family time,” according to the citation prepared by the Gawad Haydee Yorac board of judges led by Washington Sycip.

The program is beginning to “revolutionize high school education in the country,” with over 30 high schools from all regions adopting it in their curriculum. It is also supported by the Department of Education’s Fund for Assistance to Private Education.

Walking the talk

UP president Emerlinda Roman commended the Bernidos, both UP alumni, for their “strategy” of simplifying the teaching of physics by limiting teacher participation to only 30 percent of the process, with the remaining 70 percent devoted to learning activities independent of instructors.

“Carefully designed materials and simplified materials allow high school students to learn physics on their own,” Roman said.

Roman commended the couple for walking the talk instead of just making complaints.

“The couple realized something was wrong with the country’s basic education, and rather than ranting about it, they went to Bohol to do something about it. Not only did they have a job to do, but they had a mission to fulfill,” she said.

Sycip, in his congratulatory message to the couple, said: “How [the Bernidos] both devoted their life, uprooting from the comforts of the city and moving to Bohol to serve the marginalized communities of Jagna, is a choice of courage.”

Game of relay

Christopher said he and his wife had realized that history “is like a game of relay where an athlete runs as fast as he can before he passes the baton to his teammate.”

“Our generation [has] to run as fast as we can and work as effectively as we can before we pass the baton to the next generation,” he said.

Christopher cited an Indian saying: “We inherited the earth from our parents, but we are borrowing it from our children.”

He added: “One of the best gifts we can give a child is education. No one can steal it, and the child can bring it wherever he or she goes, so for our generation, one of the best gifts we can give to the succeeding generation is quality education for the rich and the poor alike.”

Said Victoria: “My husband and I disagree on many things but we agree on a few things, and one of them is our passion for physics. But there is a corollary: There is also a passion, a shared passion, for teaching physics.”

Indeed, after eight years, the students of the Research Center have begun passing the UP College Admissions Test, according to the citation.

“[The Bernidos] addressed a grassroots issue, and had the courage to blaze new science trails in their home province of Bohol, in isolated and marginalized communities, demonstrating that there are no constraints or limits to achieving the lofty vision of building a nation when courage, commitment and intellectual experience are applied to the task,” it read.

As we all know, FrancisM passed away after his long bout with leukemia and I must say; the news didn’t surprised me. (Not because I know he will die anyway because of cancer but for a fact that dying is a common reality of all the living). At first, I never had any reaction or comment about his passing for I never knew Francis M personally; other than knowing him as an artist, rapper and one of the co-hosts of Eat-Bulaga.

I just had a glimpse of his personal life when by chance I stumbled on his website after reading an online story about him where it did mentioned the link to his multiply.com site. In one of his blog entries dated February 15, 2006, he made a blog post titled: My Valentine Girls and I would like to quote a full length of his entry; “Every year I send flowers to the women in my life.  I send it to my wife, to my daughters Unna, Maxene, Saab & Clara. I know it's just one day, but at least for one day, they get flowers from their papa. They get flowers from their suitors, boyfriends and eventually, maybe from their husbands someday, but I will send them flowers forever until the day I die. I love you. I'll never stop loving you.”

This is how I came to know FrancisM as a doting father he was to his kids and a loving husband to his wife, Pia. The fact that the message was written few years back and with him saying; “…but I will send them flowers forever until the day I die” is enough for someone to shed tears especially his family and loved ones.

To FrancisM, YO! You’re really the man.

10 money questions couples should ask

By Lynda C. Corpuz
MoneySense
First Posted 10:51:00 03/05/2009

Close this 1: Why do we fight about money?
Melvin Esteban, a registered financial consultant, explains that couples fight about money because they do not have enough of it. Toti Tanchoco, Jr., Cocolife senior vice president for finance, says, “They fight about spending it â€" not money per se.”

Fr. Ted, Gonzales, S.J., Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM)-Ateneo De Manila University overall program coordinator says couples undergo counselling for a lot of reasons. “Money is one of the issues, but not the main issue. [The] money issue is maybe a symbol or a mirror of the quality of their relationship for it historically traces how they view money,” he says.

2: How do divvy up financial duties?
Melvin points out that the wife is the default keeper of the purse, especially if the couple is starting out. “Generally, females are more budget conscious,” he reasons. Toti, however, says the wife should not be handling everything. “It’s incidental she’s handling the finances but it should not be ‘binigay sa iyo, bahala ka na (It was given to you, you deal with it),’” he says. Fr. Ted explains, “Although that is not always the case, we still have the tendency to repeat the same old patterns. But a mature couple should be together in managing their household finances.”

Couple Bambi and Francous Groleaus share money responsibilities by simply doing what they’re best at. For instance, Francois attended to the particulars of their wedding venue while Bambi took care of the entourage’s needs. Planning a year in advance, and targeting a P500,000 budget, she prepared the spreadsheet while he ended up filling it in. Culturally, Bambi says Filipina wives usually budget for everything while Francois says French men often take charge of investments.

3: Should we really have to tell each other about each purchase we make?
It is just fair to tell your spouse what you buy, but there is no need to detail small purchases, Melvin says. “Just make sure you tell each other if the purchase is big, like a car, a house, or an educational plan. Both of you should decide on that big purchase,” Melvin says. “It is always best to be open with each other,” Toti points out.

4: How do deal with our personal luho? (frivolities)
It’s important that a couple sets the right priorities. Buying that new designer bag or getting yet another gadget isn’t a priority. “The way we use money is how we prioritize what is important. The couple should really sit down and talk about their priorities,” Fr. Ted says.
With two pre-teen children, Bernie and Coralu Santos follow the adage of living within your means. “For me, if it’s not yet a necessity, I won’t buy it. I’ll just look and look at it, but I won’t buy it immediately,” Bernie says. “We wait for the right timing, and if we can afford it already, we buy,” Coralu adds.

But that doesn’t mean you should never spend on yourself. You just have to put a lid on it. An allowance system is a good way to budget and limit discretionary expenses. Toti says it is wise to set aside money not just for basic requirements like food, utilities, and children’s education, but also a little for recreation. Melvin recommends 50% of one’s income go to a common fund, 30% to allowance, and 20% to savings. “As income increases, savings should also be increased. Bonuses can be used to treat yourself to your personal luho once in a while,” he says.

5: Should we only have a joint account?
Thirteen years after their marriage, the Santoses opened a joint account just two years ago. “Bakit kailan lang? Kasi wala kaming ganoon, `yun lang ang dahilan (Why just now? Because we didn’t have that before, that’s all),” Bernie says. But apart from their joint account now, they still have their personal accounts.

Meanwhile, the Groleaus started early. “When we got married, we started to contribute to the common fund for our household needs. We still continue each of our personal accounts,” Francois shares. “We put an equal amount for the common fund. When there’s extra money, Francois is the first to put in additional funds,” Bambi shares. Although they have personal accounts, it does not mean they are keeping secrets about where their money goes. “I still tell Francois how much I’m putting in my account,” she cites.

The two couples are doing an acceptable compromise. They have a joint account for common expenses and personal accounts for individual expenses. Melvin adds that having a joint account is good because you can still have access to the family’s wealth in case of your spouse’s incapacity or death.

6: How do we deal with financial crises like being victimized by a scam or piling up a huge debt?
Fr. Ted says it’s always a danger when one spouse gets into a financial mess. “Like an addiction, you don’t want to let it out with your spouse since there’s some shame about it. Those can break up the relationship and leave deep wounds. It’s truly traumatic to have creditors running after the spouse,” he says.

Toti says tendencies or habits like these should be known early on. “These should be discussed before getting married so you can agree to discipline each of your spending, saving, and investing habits,” he says.

Fr. Ted says the guilty spouse will have to be honest about the unmanageability of the situation and go through a genuine recovery. “Because if there’s no real examination of life, and a real surrender of that behavior, it will drain the whole family of their patience, resources, and understanding,” he explains.

Always remember your spouse loves you very much that he or she is willing to marry you, Melvin says. “No matter how grave the situation is, your spouse will always be your partner to help you. The more you keep it a secret, the worse it gets,” he says.

Fr. Ted says, despite everything, trust that something good will still happen and be ready to make amends. “Making amends is righting the wrong. But when you love tenderly, you will know your strengths and weaknesses, and you can act justly,” he says.

7: How do we handle power struggles related to money?
Couples should review their values if they keep on fighting about money, especially in the context of who has the bigger income, “because it can sometimes be a power to some, an excuse to dominate or lord it over the other person,” Fr. Ted says. “But if you really look at it, a family is just one unit regardless of who’s earning more.”

“The best way is to talk and there should always be a compromise for everything,” Melvin says. If the wife earns more, the husband should take it as a constructive challenge, he adds. “If the wife is earning more, it should be an inspiration for the man, especially if he is insecure about it. But should he really be insecure about it? It’s all about role-playing, and one should accept each other’s role,” Toti says.

8: Is it possible for us to live on one income?
While it is ideal for one spouse to stay at home to focus on the children and household matters, given the times, living on a single income can be difficult. The wife should only stay at home if she cannot earn more than a house help, Melvin says. “Otherwise, both should work. Of course there are other reasons to be considered, thus the saying, ‘a mother’s love is always priceless,’” he says.

The Santoses found it necessary not just to work full-time but find extra sources of income. Whenever their workload allowed, they accepted sidelines to add to their finances. Money they saved from these sidelines automatically went to their children’s accounts.

It may be difficult, but not impossible. It takes a lot of financial discipline to live within a single income, but that works easier if the working spouse is earning an adequate amount of money.

9: How should we deal with parents who are financially dependent on us?
The Santoses are helping their relatives. “Tumutulong din kami. Hindi puwedeng mawala `yun sa monthly budget naming(We help out. We need to include this in our budget),” Coralu says. Fr. Ted says the questions here are: How much do you give? And how regular? He adds that some in-laws are becoming too dependent, as in the cases of migrant workers who have the whole barangay of relatives waiting for their salaries. “Assess if there is an abuse already and what is the effect of this constant shelling out for the relatives. If unmanageable, this will drain the couple’s budget,” he warns.

Dealing with in-laws and relatives about money has emotional strains to it, Melvin says. He suggests if you are earning more than you are actually spending, it is but right that you support your parents and in-laws. “Remember, you and your spouse would not be where you are now if not for your parents,” he says.

Toti, however, believes that couples have to meet their own needs first. “It will not help in your planning as a couple and it just tolerates the parasitical situation. But if you know you’ll have to still provide for your parents, don’t marry yet. Becoming independent is the idea why you’re starting a family,” he says.

10: How do I deal with an uncooperative spouse?
Melvin subscribes to what the best sales people believe is “your 99.” “That means, 99% of the time, you’re thinking of what’s good for them. So you have to convince him or her on anything,” he says. Fr. Ted advises to first exhaust all means, like counselling or attending marriage encounters. But if it is really unmanageable, the Church will look into the marriage’s viability. “The Church wants a couple to have a relationship grounded in love. But it also tries to be objective in considering certain relationships that are out of control, especially if there were already hints of unmanageability before the marriage,” he explains.


(This article is from MoneySense, the country’s first and only personal finance magazine. Visit www.moneysense.com.ph for more.)

World's Worst Cultural Mistakes
By Sallie BradyiStock

Touching Someone
Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Thailand, China, Europe, the Middle East.

What’s Offensive: Personal space varies as you travel the globe. In Mediterranean countries, if you refrain from touching someone’s arm when talking to them or if you don’t greet them with kisses or a warm embrace, you’ll be considered cold. But backslap someone who isn’t a family member or a good friend in Korea, and you’ll make them uncomfortable. In Thailand, the head is considered sacred â€" never even pat a child on the head.

What You Should Do Instead: Observe what locals are doing and follow suit. In Eastern countries remember that touching and public displays of affection are unacceptable. In places like Qatar and Saudi Arabia, men and women are forbidden from interacting, let along touching.

Knowing Your Right from Your Left
Where It’s Offensive: India, Morocco, Africa, the Middle East.

What’s Offensive: Many cultures still prefer to eat using traditional methods â€" their hands. In these cases, food is often offered communally, which is why it’s important to wash your hands before eating and observe the right-hand-is-for-eating and the left-hand-is-for-other-duties rule. If you eat with your left hand, expect your fellow diners to be mortified. And when partaking from a communal bowl, stick to a portion that’s closest to you. Do not get greedy and plunge your hand into the center.

What You Should Do Instead: Left-handed? Attempt to be ambidextrous â€" even children who are left-handed in these cultures are taught to eat with their right hand â€" or at least explain yourself to your fellow diners before plunging in.

Keeping Your Clothes On
Where It’s Offensive: Scandinavian countries, Turkey.

What’s Offensive: Wearing bathing suits, shorts and T-shirts, underwear, or any other piece of clothing into a sauna, hammam, or other place of physical purification. In some cultures, a steam room or a sauna is considered a place of purity and reflection, where the outside world (i.e., your clothes) should be left outside. In some Scandinavian countries it’s common for entire families to sauna together in the nude.

What You Should Do Instead: Sitting on a folded towel is considered acceptable. If you’re too modest to appear naked, strip down, but wrap yourself in a towel.

Getting Lei'd Off
Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii.

What’s Offensive: Refusing or immediately removing a lei.

What You Should Do Instead: Leis in the Hawaiian Islands aren’t just pretty floral necklaces that you get when you check into your hotel or show up at a luau. They’re a centuries-old cultural symbol of welcome, friendship, and appreciation. Never refuse a lei â€" it’s considered highly disrespectful â€" or whip it off in the giver’s presence. If you’re allergic to the flowers, explain so, but offer to put it in some place of honor, say in the center of the table, or on a statue. Note that closed leis should be worn not hanging from the neck, but over the shoulder, with half draped down your chest and the other half down your back.

Looking Them in the Eye … or Not
Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Japan, Germany.

What’s Offensive: For Americans, not making direct eye contact can be considered rude, indifferent, or weak, but be careful how long you hold someone’s gaze in other countries. In some Asian nations, prolonged eye contact will make a local uncomfortable, so don’t be offended if you’re negotiating a deal with someone who won’t look you straight in the eye. If toasting with friends in a German beer hall, your eyes had better meet theirs â€" if they don’t, a German superstition says you’re both in for seven years of bad luck in the bedroom.

What You Should Do Instead: Avoid constant staring and follow the behavior of your host â€" and by all means, look those Germans straight on.

Drinking Alcohol the Wrong Way
Where It’s Offensive: Latin America, France, Korea, Russia.

What’s Offensive: Every culture has different traditions when it comes to drinking etiquette. Fail to consume a vodka shot in one gulp in Russia, and your host will not be impressed. Refill your own wine glass in France without offering more to the rest of the table, and you’ve made a faux pas. In Korea, women can pour only men’s drinks â€" not other women’s â€" and if you want a refill, you need to drain your glass. And if you’re in Latin America, never pour with your left hand â€" that’s bad luck.

What You Should Do Instead: Until you’re culturally fluent, leave it to your pals to pour.

Blowing Your Nose
Where It’s Offensive: Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, France.

What’s Offensive: Some cultures find it disgusting to blow your nose in public â€" especially at the table. The Japanese and Chinese are also repelled by the idea of a handkerchief. As Mark McCrum points out in his book Going Dutch in Beijing, the Japanese word hanakuso unpleasantly means nose waste.

What You Should Do Instead: If traveling through Eastern and Asian countries, leave the hankies at home and opt for disposable tissues instead. In France as well as in Eastern countries, if you’re dining and need to clear your nasal passages, excuse yourself and head to the restroom. Worst-case scenario: make an exaggerated effort to steer away from the table. Let’s hope you don’t have a cold.

Removing Your Shoes…or Not
Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii, the South Pacific, Korea, China, Thailand.

What’s Offensive: Take off your shoes when arriving at the door of a London dinner party and the hostess will find you uncivilized, but fail to remove your shoes before entering a home in Asia, Hawaii, or the Pacific Islands and you’ll be considered disrespectful. Not only does shoe removal very practically keeps sand and dirt out of the house, it’s a sign of leaving the outside world behind.

What You Should Do Instead: If you see a row of shoes at the door, start undoing your laces. If not, keep the shoes on.

Talking Over Dinner
Where It’s Offensive: Africa, Japan, Thailand, China, Finland.

What’s Offensive: In some countries, like China, Japan, and some African nations, the food’s the thing, so don’t start chatting about your day’s adventures while everyone else is digging into dinner. You’ll likely be met with silenceâ€"not because your group is unfriendly, but because mealtimes are for eating, not talking. Also avoid conversations in places a country might consider sacred or reflectiveâ€"churches in Europe, temples in Thailand, and saunas in Finland.

What You Should Do Instead: Keep quiet!

Road Rage
Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii, Russia, France, Italy, around the globe.

What’s Offensive: Honk on Molokai or fail to pay a police officer a fine, a.k.a. bribe, on the spot when you’re stopped for speeding in Russia, and you’ll risk everything from scorn to prison time. Remember, too, that hand gestures have different meanings in other countries â€" a simple “thumbs-up” is interpreted as an “up yours“ in parts of the Middle East.

What You Should Do Instead: When driving abroad, make sure you have an international driver’s license; never, ever practice road rage; and keep your hands on the wheel.

Wildlife group lauds tarsier display ban


By Kit Bagaipo
Visayas Bureau
First Posted 06:49:00 03/02/2009

Filed Under: Animals


TAGBILARAN CITYâ€"Even as local businessmen who display tarsiers for tourist viewing lobby for the scrapping of a provincial ordinance that bans the commercialization of the endangered species, an international wildlife foundation is lauding Bohol lawmakers for their landmark legislation.

The Born Free Foundation, an international wildlife charity group based in the United Kingdom, thanked the provincial board for introducing the ordinance that prohibits the display of tarsiers outside their natural habitat.

In a letter to Board Members Alfonso Damalerio II and Esther Corazon Galbreath, BFF senior scientific researcher Chris Draper said the ordinance was not only “forward thinking” but also “a compassionate decision.”

“The Philippines can be justifiably proud of this legislation, and it is our hope that other regions and countries may look to your example when considering similar legislation,” Draper said.

The foundation is working all over the world to stop the sufferings of wild animals to protect threatened species in the wild.

In a visit to Bohol in January, a crew of British Broadcasting Corp. (BBC) featured the tarsiers in a documentary that will be shown all over the world.

The crew, headed by British TV presenter and author Simon Reeve, highlighted the need for rescue and care of the endangered species that are caged and displayed outside their natural habitat.

Gov. Erico Aumentado has yet to sign the measure

The evil Pinay stereotype


By Rodel Rodis
INQUIRER.net
First Posted 15:07:00 02/04/2009

Filed Under: Television


WHEN ABC presented a demeaning image of Philippine-trained doctors in a "Desperate Housewives" episode (September 30, 2007), the Filipino community erupted in outrage and demanded an apology. Because Filipinos rarely appear on national TV, it was feared that the offending episode would cause Americans to view their Philippine-educated physicians in a negative light. That ABC episode is peanuts in terms of image and consequence compared to the depiction of Filipinos that CBS presented on January 31, 2009 in its CBS 48 Hours Mystery episode of "Conspiracy to Kill."

CBS correspondent Peter Van Sant's hour-long documentary began with this introduction:

"Larry Risken was a Navy officer. Earl Bourdeau was a Marine. Nineteen years apart, they married the same woman: Sonia Rios. And both military men met the same fate -- ambushed and gunned down in the Philippines, in the presence of Sonia's family. The families of Risken and Bourdeau say they're sure Sonia was the mastermind in both killings. Then a year after Larry's Risken's murder, Sonia suffered the same fate herself - gunned down in her home, on the south side of Los Angeles. By then, she'd been dubbed, "The Black Widow of Lomita."

Larry Risken was a commander in the United States Navy when he met Sonia Rios, a successful Filipina businesswoman who owned her own beauty salon in Lomita, California, and who drove around in a flashy Corvette. She had been previously married and divorced, his family was told.

Larry and Sonia were married in 1990 in three separate wedding ceremonies which excluded members of Risken's family. But Larry visited the Philippines several times to spend time with Sonia's family. In one of the visits, he met Sonia's niece, Quinzy, and nephew, Jetmark, and decided to adopt them.

Sonia was supposed to take care of the adoption but when Larry found out that Sonia had sabotaged the process and did not want them to come to the US, his relationship with Sonia soured.

Fed up with Sonia, Larry began seeing a co-teacher, Eileen Stevens. When Larry told Sonia of his feelings for Eileen, she "flew into a rage" especially after Larry asked for a divorce after 16 years of marriage.

Sonia consented to the divorce but only after Larry visited the Philippines to see Quinzy and Jetmark one last time. Despite his parents' misgivings about traveling to the Philippines by himself, Larry flew to Manila.

On April 18, 2006, while piling into a Jeep after taking one of Sonia's nieces to a hospital to be treated for an eye infection, a gunman on a motorcycle shot Larry in the head and stomach, killing him instantly.

When 14-year-old Jetmark called his aunt Sonia to tell her the devastating news, he was shocked to hear her response: "Jet, don't worry. Everything is under control. Nothing to worry about."

Risken's family, frustrated that the Philippine police could do nothing to solve the murder, decided to hire private investigator Bong Oteza, who concluded that it was a well-planned hit. Bong learned that Sonia had a $1 million insurance policy on Larry Risken.

Bong also learned that Risken was not the first Sonia husband to meet that fate. It turns out that she had been previously married to a US marine named Earl John Bourdeau who met her on his first overseas tour of duty in the Philippines in 1963. He married her and brought her to the US to meet his parents and settled in Lomita, California.

According to Sonia's good friend, Henry Hoskins, Sonia was not into fidelity. "I knew some of her boyfriends. She was dating professional people," he said.

After 21 years of marriage, Bourdeau wanted out of the marriage. But Sonia would only agree to a divorce if he would go to the Philippines to "sell a family taxi business".

Although he did not want to go, Bourdeau went and stayed at the home of Sonia's brother. He was asleep on August 15, 1987, when he was shot at point blank range. Sonia's brothers claimed that he was killed during a break-in.

Philippine police authorities would not buy that story, however, and within weeks of the murder, they solved the case. Five people, including two of Sonia Rios's brothers (one of whom had blood splatters on his shirt), were arrested and charged with the murder.

The CBS reporter then said that everything stopped. "Do you believe that someone may have been paid off to stop this investigation? Van Sant asks Oteza. "Yes, to stop the investigation. Yes, to drop the charges against the five family members," he replies. Incredibly, Oteza says it takes as little as $1,000 to stop a criminal investigation. And he thinks he knows who paid to stop this one. "The person that wanted Earl Bourdeau dead is someone that will benefit and that is Sonia Rios."

Yes, folks, visit the Philippines where you can hire a hit man to kill your spouse for a few bucks (and collect millions in insurance money) and pay as little as a thousand dollars to stop the criminal investigation.

After cashing in on Bourdeau's death, about 19 years later, Sonia did it again. But in Risken's case, Sonia was unable to collect on his million dollar policy because Risken's relatives cried foul.

Risken's sister, Ellen Jackson, told Van Sant: "Sonia used the Philippines as a killing ground in two murders and no one has been brought to justice."

About one year after Risken's murder, the 60-year-old "Black Widow of Lomita," Sonia Rios, was found dead in her home with a gunshot to her head.

The CBS 48 Hours Mystery did not end with the unsolved murders of Sonia and her two husbands. Its reporter and crew tracked down the remains of Bourdeau in the Philippines with the assistance of a Filipina forensic pathologist, Rachel Fortun. After confirming that the bones in a crypt belonged to Bourdeau, 48 Hours paid for the bones to be transported to Davenpot, Iowa where they were buried last month, 21 years after Bourdeau's murder.

Within hours after the TV episode appeared on January 31, emails poured into the CBS website denouncing Sonia Rios and other "gold diggers and murderers" from the Philippines. One wrote that "anyone who gets involved with a person born and raised in the Philippines needs to understand that they are not like us…they are for the most part materialistic, greedy, manipulative, heartless people." One psychopath ("cliffps") even suggested that "what we need to do is take the law into our own hands but do so quietly and continue evening the score. It might take time, maybe a little bit (or a lot) of scheming and strategizing on one end but justice can certainly be accomplished."

One American man married to a Filipina, Jack Spratzer, tried to stem the racist tide: "Don't paint a race of people with a broad brush. I know the Philippines and her people and I can tell you that the Filipino people are kind, loving, polite, and generous" but he was decidedly in the minority.

A new vile stereotype has been virally spread and many Filipino women married to American men will face suspicions, ugly accusations, and harassment from their husbands and their husbands' kinfolk because of Sonia Rios and the CBS show that exposed her.

(Send comments to Rodel50@aol.com or mail them to the Law Offices of Rodel Rodis at 2429 Ocean Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94127 or call (415) 334-7800. For past columns, log on to www.Rodel50.blogspot.com.)

Fighters in Love
Posted by I. Wilfredo Ver on 2/16/09 • Categorized as Cover Story

Nonito Donaire and Rachel Marcial by Gary Cruz.

In the sporting world, the emergent spectator event is the mixed martial arts fights, where practitioners of varied combat disciplines such as wrestling, boxing, judo and karate are pitted against each other. Recently, a matchup of a different kind featuring a boxing champion and a taekwondo champion has captured the attention and imagination of Filipino fight fans.

Nonito Donaire Jr. is the reigning International Boxing Federation (IBF) Flyweight champion of the world. Rachel Marcial is a blackbelt in taekwondo and a U.S. National Champion.

Both are fierce competitors whose victories were accomplished mostly by knocking out or incapacitating their opponents. He is called the “Filipino Flash,” reminiscent of the previous century’s greatest Filipino boxer, Flash Elorde. She is called “Lady Savage” and “Knockout Queen,” descriptive of her demolishing fighting style as well as her physical attributes.

What happens when these two intense champions meet?

In the early fall of 2007, Nonito was invited to a party at a popular Los Angeles nightclub, where he found a long line of people at the entrance. Mentioning his world boxing title at the door enabled him to jump the line and, once inside, he immediately sat down with acquaintances. That didn’t really impress the host, Rachel, who was celebrating her recent victory at the AAU Nationals. When she later went up to introduce herself to him, she figured he was mayabang (arrogant). He casually replied hello, and went back to talking to someone else. Feeling slighted, she wasn’t too friendly when later on he tried to have a conversation with her. He thought she was suplada (snobbish). I suppose it’s typical of sports people to always size up their competitor at first encounter.

The duo would eventually share the dance floor, and the two champions have different versions of the event. She claims he and his friends were eyeing her all night. He claims she pulled him to the dance floor. But as the night wore on, and cupid had struck his arrow, both were soon dancing to their own private music. (She says, “he tried to kiss me”; he said, “She closed her eyes and offered me a kiss.”) Usually, this is where the referee must step in to stop the clinching.

The party continued at her place, where Rachel showed video clips of her taekwondo fights from her laptop. “That’s you?” Nonito gushed upon discovering she was also a sports champion. Displaying another of her talents, she began playing the piano, but our boxing lothario wouldn’t be beat. He promptly countered with a soulful rendition of “Unchained Melody.” Champions always control the direction of the match.

From that day on, the two were inseparable. “And that was it, I couldn’t get her off my mind,” Nonito conceded. Within two weeks, “He said ‘I love you’ first,” she declared triumphantly. Two points for Rachel. Mushiness and love are considered emotional
weaknesses among fighters.

Our squared-ring gladiator plotted a counterattack, and by mid-winter, had procured a secret weapon, the engagement ring. “I have achieved several of my life goals. I wanted to move on to something more serious, and I wanted to do it the right way,” Nonito explained.

He carefully chose the opportuned moment when Rachel was off guard, then delivered the perfect punch line. They were guesting for Makisig TV when he grabbed her and sang “I’m Yours,” then got down on his knees. “We had to punch and kick for the interview, and I was all sweaty, my makeup was running… and he put me through this on live tv!” exclaimed the FHM model and certified Estee Lauder make-up artist. The John Mraz song goes “I won’t hesitate no more no more/ It cannot wait, I’m yours.” To the ultimate question, Rachel replied, “Of course!” and they kissed before the TV cameras.

The boxer continued dictating the pace of the match. In Manila on Valentine’s Day, Nonito upped the ante by arranging dinner aboard a private yacht on a cruise around Manila Bay. “It was very intimate, very romantic, one of our best experiences,” her turn to gush. Another point for Nonito.

At a particular point in a match, the champion plans when to deliver the winner and seal the deal. This involves proper timing and executing the right moves. They chose to get married on the luckiest day of the new century, 08/08/08, a day when the world witnessed the unforgettable display of Chinese fireworks at the opening of the Beijing Olympics.

There were no such fireworks at Lover’s Point of Stewart Cove in the romantic city of Carmel, California, but the bride was fully radiant and refreshingly beautiful, and the groom was exuberant and totally cool. It was but fitting that they exchanged vows by the shores of the Pacific Ocean, the vast body of water that similarly washes the shores of their native land.

Career Trajectory
The boxing career of Nonito Donaire Jr. is surely looking good. Since winning the world title in July 2007, the “Filipino Flash” has been heralded as the heir apparent to superstar Manny Pacquaio. His surprise knockout of then undefeated and seemingly invincible champion, Vic “Raging Bull” Darchinyan, with a perfectly timed left hook, won for Donaire the “Knockout of the Year” and the “Upset of the Year” awards.

Nonito presents your typical rags-to-riches story, of the poor country boy from Talibon, Bohol who gets left behind by his new-U.S. immigrant father. He grew up under his grandparents’ care, where food and sodas were rationed. On the streets of General Santos City in Cotabato, he sold pomelo at 50 centavos apiece to help make ends meet. When he reached 11, his father sent for him and the family settled in San Leandro, California.

Street fights involving his older brother Glenn prompted their father to enroll them in a boxing gym. Nonito’s prodigious talent was evident from the get-go, such that he quickly rose in the amateur ranks, winning gold medals in the U.S. Junior Olympics and the International Junior Olympics. He was barely 17 years old when he entered the professional ranks; before leaving behind his teenage years he won the Asian Pacific flyweight title. He captured the North American Boxing Federation title at 23, and was only 24 when he shocked the boxing world by winning the World Flyweight crown. He has since successfully defended his title twice, demolishing both opponents by knockout.

Nonito is known for his lightning quick reflexes, his left hook darting at blinding speed with a crushing power equal to that of boxers four weight divisions heavier. In this aspect, he is easily compared to Manny Pacquiao. “There is only one Manny Pacquiao,” Nonito replied modestly when the comparison was mentioned. “He is his own legacy. And I am thankful for Manny. I trained with him in L.A., sparred with him, and he gave me tips, he was very helpful. I admire his fighting heart and the way he trains. He trains very hard, he trains at a higher level. He paved the way for all of us Pinoy boxers, to be able to achieve greater heights.”

Yet Nonito is not your typical Filipino boxing champion. He is very articulate, a classy guy with a good set of head and heart. In his last fight, his slashing punch opened a nasty cut above his opponent’s eye, and he could have jumped on his rival’s lack of vision. Instead he backed off and motioned to the referee to take a look, after which the referee put a stop to the carnage and awarded the victory to Nonito.

The Other Champion
Five months into the marriage, Nonito and Rachel are obviously still on honeymoon mode. As competitive as they both are, they alternately allow each other to have his/her say, while the other would quickly respond with a witty joke, giggling and cooing. The two-and-a-half hour interview and photo shoot for Filipinas was marked with a lot of hand-holding, shoulder-rubbing and eye contact between the two.

In this match-up, Rachel is the exciting and enigmatic one. She exudes sensual allure and raw beauty, one whose femme fatale figure has landed her an ample spread in the Filipino men’s magazine, FHM. One international boxing writer listed her in the top five Hot Chicks of boxing. But when she faces you with fire in her eyes and fervor in her demeanor, one instinctively knows to approach her with caution. The reality is, she is as deadly as she looks.

The video clips that reside in her iPhone show her in several taekwondo bouts, all ending the same way: her opponents falling like timber onto to the mat. You see her bouncing up and down in front of her opponent, left foot forward, measuring her distance to the target, then in one split-second motion, adroitly spins as her right foot travels swiftly and stiffly into her rival’s chin. It is a graceful yet menacing move. As her opponent falls, she steps in quickly to stand on top of her fallen foe, ready to strike with another kick.

Rachel Marcial is a third-generation taekwondo practitioner. Her father operates a dojang, a taekwondo training hall, where at age eight, she took naturally to the sport. By the time she was 12, she had won the gold medal in the U.S. Junior Olympics. It would be her favorite stumping ground, the Junior Olympics, winning medals, usually gold, in every year she competed until she reached 18.

During her college years at the University of Phoenix, she ruled the U.S. Collegiate Nationals, the U.S. Open and the AAU Nationals. She also took time to compete in the Philippines as a teenager and emerged champion at the Milo Philippine Nationals. She later won gold medals in the Samsung Best of the Philippines and the Philippine National Team Selections.

Like many Fil-Ams of her generation, Rachel heeded the call of service to her country and served a five-year stint with the U.S. Air Force. Accepted with a high 92 percent rating, she landed a plum job in the Personnel Division, assigned close to the commander, and was exposed to high echelon military administration and management. During this time, taekwondo took a backseat to her military career, although she managed to collect several gold medals in military tournaments.

Upon leaving the service in 2006, Rachel promptly resumed competing and won the U.S. Collegiate Nationals, the World University Games in Finland, and her second AAU Nationals Gold in 2007. The latter was the victory party she was celebrating when her life and career took a fateful turn. She met her man.

Marriage for Nonito and Rachel has been pure heaven so far. The five months have been a blissful love match. But knowing their lives are consumed by regular competition, and as fighters, control is very necessary, one wonders if they are actually on a collision course. Nonito negates that theory, “Well, actually we complement each other. She is feisty, and I’m quite calm. She brings fairness to the table, me, patience. And we both have so many things to give each other. Loyalty is something I like about her and I give her my honesty.”

There is some concern that such ideal circumstance propagates a lackadaisical attitude toward his preparation for championship fights. Nonito argues, “She has actually helped me train harder, and make me focus better on my gymwork. She arranges my schedules, takes calls for me and makes appointments and stuff like that. She understands what I do, she helps me out in a lot of things. In my training, well, she tries to join my running, and she understands nutrition which is very crucial to my making weight for my fights, so she is very helpful in my preparations.” Their partnership has so far produced one championship victory, his knockout of number one challenger Morouti Mathalane to successfully defend his world title last November.

These two champions are also conscious of the responsibilities of their celebrity. They have taken up a laudable cause and are passionate in their support of Bantay Bata, a child welfare program that rescues and rehabilitates sick and abused children. “I’ve always loved working with kids, I enjoy teaching them. It’s my way of giving back, I didn’t have much growing up; now I’m in a position to give back, I want to provide that positive influence in their lives.” In his last fight at the Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas, Nonito actively promoted the sale of Bantay Bata t-shirts.

At this point in their partnership, Rachel’s blackbelt is hanging in her closet because she has chosen to focus on managing Nonito’s schedules and business, as well as participate in his training. In her MySpace page, she declares “I am a fighter and a lover and there’s only been one that could tame me.”

The articulate Nonito is as comfortable analyzing and describing a fight as [he is] expressing his thoughts and life principles. He was a boxing analyst during the Mexico vs. Philippines World Cup held in Sacramento, California, where Team Philippines won.

For the long term, he says, “My goal is to keep on going, and be part of the glory and the history. I want to give my all and achieve as much as I can. I’ll always do my best in every fight to represent the Philippines and show to the world we are really great fighters with great personalities and talents.”


Nonito Donaire - Career Highlights
Fight Record: 20 wins, 1 Loss, 13 KOs

1998 - National Silver Gloves Champion
1999 - National Jr. Olympics Champion
1999 - International Jr. Olympics Champion
2000 - National U.S.A. Tournament Champion
2000 - Finalist, U.S. Olympic Trials
2002 - WBO Asia Pacific Flyweight Champion (defeating Kaichon Sor Vorapin of Thailand, by KO in round 2)
2006 - NABF Super Flyweight Champion (defeating Kahren Harutyunyan of USA by unanimous decision in round 12)
2006 - Defended NABF Super Flyweight Championship (defeating Oscar Andrade of Mexico by unanimous decision in round 12)
2007 - World IBF and IBO Flyweight Champion (defeating Vic Darchinyan of Australia by KO in round 5)
2007- Winner of Ring Magazine’s “Knockout of the Year” and “Upset of the Year” Awards
2007 - Defended World IBF Flyweight Championship (defeating Luis Maldonado of Mexico by TKO in round
2007 - Athlete of the Year, Philippine Sports Awards
2008 - Defended World IBF Flyweight Championship (defeating Moruti Mathalane of South Africa by TKO in round 6)

RACHEL MARCIAL - Career Highlights
1994 Junior Olympics: GOLD
1995 Junior Olympics: GOLD
1997 Junior Olympics: SILVER
1998 U.S. Open: SILVER
1998 Junior Olympics: BRONZE
1998 Pan American Open: SILVER
1999 U.S. Open: SILVER
1999 Olympic Weight Division Tournament: GOLD
1999 U.S. Collegiate Nationals: BRONZE
1999 Milo Philippine Nationals: GOLD
1999 U.S. National Championships: BRONZE
2000 U.S. National Championships: SILVER
2000 Junior Olympics: GOLD
2001 Korea Open: SILVER
2001 AAU National Championships: GOLD
2001 AAU National Team Trials: GOLD
2001 Puerto Rico Open: BRONZE
2001 U.S. Collegiate Nationals: BRONZE
2001 U.S. Collegiate Team Trials: GOLD
2002 U.S. Open: BRONZE
2002 U.S. Air Force Team Selection: GOLD
2002 U.S. Armed Forces Team Selection: GOLD
2002 U.S. Collegiate Nationals: GOLD
2002 CISM World Military Games: SILVER
2002 AAU National Team Trials: GOLD
2002 U.S. Collegiate Team Trials: GOLD
2002 U.S. National Team Trials: BRONZE
2002 Samsung Best of the Philippines: GOLD
2003 U.S. Collegiate Team Trials: GOLD
2003 Aruba Open: SILVER
2006 Korea Open: BRONZE
2006 Philippine National Team Selection: GOLD
2006 Samsung Best of the Philippines: SILVER
2007 AAU Team Member (Fin)
2007 World University Games Trials (Fin): 1st
2007 U.S. Open: BRONZE
2007 U.S. Collegiate Nationals: GOLD
2007 AAU National Championships: GOLD
2008 Collegiate World Trials (Fin): 2nd
2008 U.S. Collegiate Nationals (Fin): SILVER

I. Wilfredo Ver is the Oakland Raiders’ Tagalog translator on its web site.

Culture of chance, enchantment, Ash Wed.


By Fr. Sid T. Marinay
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 06:47:00 02/25/2009

Filed Under: Casinos & Gambling, Churches (organisations), Religion & Belief


MANILA, Philippinesâ€"Four years ago, my cousin’s wife, Marie (not her real name), lost all the dollars and euros her husband earned when he worked as a seaman abroad for two years to the notorious Budol-budol Gang.

Marie gave in without the slightest resistance to the gang members. She said they had “hypnotized” her into parting with her valuables. When she came to, the men had gone and the “fortune” promised her turned out to be useless sheets of paper stashed inside a big bag.

A man had engaged her in small talk as soon as she alighted from a bus on Ortigas Avenue in Mandaluyong City, recalled Marie.

She does not remember what they talked about, but soon enough found herself joining a group inside a van and drinking a glass of water offered to her.

She had no idea how the gang ended up in her house in Bulacan where they took all the hard-earned money her husband had intended to pay for their dream house and for their children’s tuition.

Marie had voluntarily surrendered her husband’s savings, jewelry and cellular phones to the gang in exchange for “a big sum of money” stuffed in a black bag.

The realization that she was swindled, was, to say the least, a terrible realization for Marie who had fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the world. She took a chance on an instant get-rich scheme and, predictably, lost.

Value of hard work

The pervading culture of chance in our society, which, at its very core is fatalistic, makes many people vulnerable to swindling, manipulation and addicted to gambling their lives away. It is associated with wishful thinking and acquiring wealth without having to work hard.

The newspapers and television newscasts are full of stories of an increase in the sale of lotto tickets and a rise in the number of people who lose their jobs every day. There could be a correlation.

Gambling has greatly diminished the value of hard work and industry. To surmount this cultural malaise requires the collaboration, not the separation, of Church and State. Right now, while the Church has launched an antigambling campaign, the State masks it with legalese.

In Pampanga province, for example, the government is into small-town lottery (STL), which appears to be the legal version of “jueteng.”

Shielding gambling

For it to be able to serve the common good, the State must not take advantage of the people’s vulnerability. Providing a shield or “protection” to gambling for more government revenues by legal means, enhances the culture of chance, and is tantamount to building a nation on shaky ground. That nation crumbles like a cookie and turns into ashes in the face of a storm.

A nation with a vision knows exactly where to go and how to get there. A nation that is fatalistic does not have a clear direction and knows not where it is going.

Education

In a society where so many people are fatalistic, the State, in secular terms, can serve its constituents better by promoting cultural values through education.

On the other hand, the Church, in religious terms, can serve its flock by promoting values found in the Gospels. By joining forces, education and evangelization can cleanse our society of its primitive elements.

Pre-modern or primitive society is characterized by a deep fondness for games of chance, luck, and enchantment, or a fascination for what is hidden and magical. Enchantment perpetuates the dichotomy between the sacred and the profane rooted in an ignorance of nature’s secrets.

In a pre-modern society, destiny is looked upon as the handiwork of unknown and unfathomed forces in nature. This comes from not knowing the Christian faith in general, and the lack of knowledge in the social sciences, in particular. The unappealing combination oftentimes results in allowing superstition to thrive.

One of the perennial problems of Philippine society that the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines addressed in past pastoral letters is the inequitable distribution of wealth. The presumption, however, is that equitable distribution of wealth would result in the eradication of illiteracy, on whose fertile grounds thrives the culture of chance, luck and enchantment.

Blessed, not lucky

The equitable distribution of wealth requires empowerment through education. For if uneducated people hooked on the culture of chance were to be entrusted with wealth, it is quite probable that they will just squander it away.

While our neighbors in Southeast Asia have entered the modern and even post-modern era, ours still remains in the primitive stage. While they talk about disenchantment, ours is, for the most part, still enchanted. Many remain in the dark thinking of success in terms of meeting Lady Luck, which is why gambling is a very attractive form of entertainment.

Luck and chance are not biblical categories. In the Bible, the term is “blessed,” not “lucky.”

This leads me to the conclusion that Christian values have not yet sunk deeply into our culture. Indeed, the observation of a missionary priest is quite accurate. He said the Philippines is sacramentalized, but not evangelized.

As we celebrate Ash Wednesday today, many Catholics fill our churches. I wonder what goes on in their heads when the priest, ashes in hand, makes the sign of the cross on their foreheads.

Enchanted world

Ash Wednesday is a time for repentance, symbolized by the ashes. It is a time for conversion, a change of heart, or in secular terms, a transformation. To be able to face the challenges of a constantly changing world, we must be able to undergo an unending series of changes.

The essence of Ash Wednesday must be clearly understood by Catholics, or else it will just perpetuate a ritual of enchantment in this enchanted world of fatalistic people.

Understanding is symbolized by the light, that is also interpreted to mean life, goodness, truth, forgiveness, love, happiness, truth, vision and beauty.

In the Old Testament, God created light first. Jesus, the son of God, is depicted as the true light in the New Testament.

Church and State

The State must continue to educate to be able to cleanse our society of its primitive elements characterized by the culture of chance. The Church must evangelize to be able to transform enchantment, in the mind of Filipino Catholics, into the paschal mysteryâ€"the passion, death and resurrection of Christ.

The Church, in its mission of evangelization, must help eradicate the dichotomy between the sacred and the profane.

For, according to Jesus, we must worship not just in Jerusalem but in spirit and truth.

(Editor’s Note: Fr. Marinay is the parish priest of St. Maria Goretti church on UN Avenue in Manila. A former Vicar Chancellor of the Archdiocese of Manila, he is also the author of “The Happy Life of Sin,” a biography of the late Jaime Cardinal Sin.)

Disagreement â€" Learn to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

Disagreement is innate in every marriage and thus far; a common cause of dysfunctional marriage. Though marital disagreements at times are an essential part of a healthy relationship, however couples should make a consented effort to keep the “rules of engagement” in effect, lest lose the marriage. Whenever argument arises, always remember this thing: Learn to disagree without being disagreeable.

Agree To Disagree

All married couples disagree at one time or another. Remember this rule for fighting fair: Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they merely are. (Marriage Encounter Principle) Accept your spouse’s feelings even if you don’t share them. Arguing about who’s right usually leads to resentment. "You may be right" is a handy phrase in which the speaker doesn't admit to being wrong, but allows that your spouse has a valid position. Sometimes that's enough to break a deadlock.

Good Argument Is Like Dancing

In an argument, we lead and follow. It’s like a dance in which we have to be sensitive to the signals of the other and balance our own needs with those of our spouse. Are you more of a leader or a follower? A good argument can be a labor of love. Have something sensitive or difficult to talk about with your spouse? Try holding hands and maintaining direct eye contact when you are having a discussion about a disagreement.

Trading “Places”

When you and your spouse disagree about something, try changing places -- figuratively. Take your spouse’s position to see how it feels from another point of view. You don't have to agree, but it helps your spouse to know you understand. It may reduce repeating and shouting. Share your own feelings without bitterness. It takes attentiveness to notice when your spouse is hurting. What looks like anger might be fear or hurt.

The Magic Words

“I guess you were right.” Although marriage is not a competition, still this phrase is one of the sweetest things a spouse can say. It may come after a disagreement in which both partners were sure they were right. It doesn’t fix the mistake but it’s so much better than “I told you so!” Is there something your spouse was “right” about recently?

Lastly, don't argue with anyone today -- even if you're right. And if someone has to win an argument, let it be your spouse. Even if you disagree, don't make your spouse wrong. You don't have to win every argument, lest you lose the marriage.

Marriage used to bait, traffic women


By Delmar Cariño
Northern Luzon Bureau
First Posted 23:18:00 02/20/2009

Filed Under: Regional authorities, Women, Crime


LA TRINIDAD, Benguet â€" The Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) has warned Filipino women to be extra careful in accepting marriage proposals from foreigners to avoid becoming victims of human trafficking.

Cherry Joy Veniles, senior emigrant services officer of the CFO’s Migrant Integration and Education Office, said the same word of caution holds true for Filipinos who applied for overseas work as complaints for breach of job contracts had increased over the years.

Veniles said based on cases that the CFO had investigated, six out of 10 marriages between Filipinos and foreigners “often turned out very bad with the Filipina wife later turning out to be missing or (being) sold as a commodity.”

Contract violations

In the case of overseas workers, Veniles said violations of the terms of employment contract remained the main concern.

Veniles spoke at the Benguet State University here on Tuesday and urged relatives of overseas workers and those married abroad to coordinate with the CFO concerning problems relayed to them by their relatives who are working abroad as OFWs.

She said the CFO chose to visit Benguet since most immigrants from the Cordillera who went abroad came from Benguet and Mt. Province.

The CFO has identified the Cordillera as the fifth among the top 10 provinces in the country where the most number of OFWs and immigrants originated.

Nikkeijins

Benguet, like Davao, was also identified as the province where most “Nikkeijins” who go to work in Japan come from. “Nikkeijins” are Filipino descendants of Japanese nationals.

Veniles said not all overseas Filipinos are considered OFWs, which meant their problems are not all job related, to be handled by the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration.

There are Filipino immigrants who hold permanent resident visas whose problems could be worse than the ordinary OFWs, she said.

CFO records showed that 8.72 million Filipinos were abroad as of 2007. Of this number, 3.69 million held permanent resident visas, 4.13 million were OFWs while less than a million were considered irregulars, also known as TNTs (Tago nang Tago or undocumented Filipinos hiding from immigration authorities).

Holders of permanent visas often find themselves helpless since their stay in a foreign land is not guaranteed by job contracts but by their marriage to foreigners, Veniles said.

12 convictions

The prosecution, however, of human traffickers still leaves much to be desired, said Eumardo Tolosa, a member of CFO’s Task Force on Human Trafficking.

He said since the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Act (Republic Act No. 9208) was enacted in 2003, only 12 people have so far been convicted

Paule confined in hospitalâ€"lawyer

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20090211-188618/Paule-confined-in-hospitallawyer

Why is it that hospital has always been the famous sanctuary of those personalities allegedly involved in government irregularities when the circumstance requires them to be investigated? Take for example the case of former Agriculture Secretary Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante, then his alleged “fixer,” Jaime Paule (Fertilizer Scam) and just recently, the First Gentleman Mike Arroyo (WB mess).

While I don’t intend to discredit one’s right for a medical treatment however, the timing and circumstances remain a question that lingers in the mind of the Filipino people who deserved to know the truth and nothing but the truth.

Is it because heaven is demanding them to pay for their sin against the Filipino people or is it because doctors are the next easiest source (second to court) of TRO (Temporary Restraining Order)?

These are more effective than 911

When;

You are sad, phone John 14

You have sinned, phone Psalm 51

You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91

People have failed you, phone Psalm 27

It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139

Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11

You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23

You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19-34

You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13

You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18

You feel like an outcast, phone Romans 8:31-39

You are seeking peace, phone Matthew 11:25-30

It feels as if the world is b igger than God, phone Psalm 90

You need Christ like insurance, phone Romans 8:1-30

You are leaving home for a trip , phone Psalm 121

You are praying for yourself, phone Psalm 87

You require courage for a task, phone Joshua 1

Inflation's and investments are hogging your thoughts, phone Mark 10:17-31

You are depressive, phone Psalm 27

Your bank account is empty, phone Psalm 37

You lose faith in mankind, phone 1 Corinthians 13

It looks like people are unfriendly, phone John 15

You are losing hope, phone Psalm 126

You feel the world is small comp ared to you, phone Psalm 19

You want to carry fruit, phone John 15

Paul's secret for happiness, phone Colossians 3:12-17

With big opportunity/ discovery, phone Isaiah 55

To get along with other people, phone Romans 12

ALTERNATE NUMBERS

For dealing with fear, call Psalm 47

For security, call Psalm 121:3

For assurance, call Mark 8:35

For reassurance, call Psalm 145:18

ALL THESE NUMBERS MAY BE PHONED DIRECTLY  -   

Just click on them and your hurt, your need and your doubt will be answered.

NO OPERATOR ASSISTANCE IS NECESSARY.

ALL LINES TO HEAVEN ARE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY.

FEED YOUR FAITH, AND DOUBT WILL STARVE TO DEATH

Some guys feel the need to love a thousand different women, but a real man knows how to love one woman ... a thousand different ways

3 simple ways to make love grow

Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:46:00 02/08/2009

Close this KEEPING a relationship could use a rule of corporate management: manage expectations. Don’t promise the moon so you don’t disappointâ€"yourself or your partner. That’s most unromantic, but then a relationship or marriage, while it begins with romance (ideally, that is), must go beyond romance. In many cases, marriage is what you still haveâ€"even after romance.

Once you realize that, you know you have reached the age of reason.

Keeping a relationship or marriage is like corporate managementâ€"againâ€"in that you have target performance vis-a-vis actual performance. In many instances again, the actual is way below the target. You realize that the morning after.

But unlike corporate management, a relationship or marriage has no finish line. You can’t start anew with zero budget. You just have to keep plodding on, without counting your returns.

Here we asked some couples to simplify for us into three ways how they keep their relationship or marriage. Why simplify?

Because if you think about it, the beauty of a relationship is its sheer simplicity. No complex load. We also made sure the men answered separately from the women. Why? Because men are from Mars and women from Venus. (The men also go tongue-in-cheek. No emotional striptease for themâ€"another thing you discover about the species.)

Come to think of it, after you’ve gone through the inequities and virtues of being in a relationship, what you truly want at the end of day is someone you can dump your day’s cares and woes on, and someone who can turn these tears into laughter. Day after day.

The feisty and feared lawyer Lorna Kapunan, after her husband’s death years ago, had one realization as she continued to pine for him: “Death only ends life, not a relationship.” How true.

Taguig Mayor Freddie and Kaye Tiñga

Kaye:

He is my biggest fan, in his eyes I can do so many things I didn’t think I was capable of, but with his support I actually can.

He is the world’s coolest dad. I love it when he spends time playing video games, watching sci-fi movies into the wee hours with the kids.

He goes with me to all these places he hates like the shopping mall, New York City, girly events, because it makes him happy to see me happy.

Freddie:

She keeps me standing tall. She helps me through it all. I’m always strong when she’s beside me.

She doesn’t give just clever conversation. She never makes me work that hard. She is someone I can just talk to.

She will listen to me when I want to speak about the world we live in and life in general. Though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted, she’ll hear me out and won’t easily be converted to my way of thinking. In fact she’ll often disagree but in the end, she will understand me.

Julius and Shelly Mojica

Julius:

I make sure she’s No. 1 priority, always.

I don’t forget any special occasion, and take her out on a special date every time.

I’m her number one critic and fan.

Shelly:

I don’t keep any secrets from him, except for shopping once in a while, and we make sure we have this bonding moment before we sleep, even just chatting.

I respect his decisions, views, interests and make him have the last say, or make him believe at least that’s the case.

He’s my No. 1 priority, no matter what it costs me.

Pete and Margo Felix

Pete:

I say ok when she wants something.

I say “you’re right” when we go into potentially heated discussion.

I do not forget to do Nos. 1 and 2 at all times.

Margot:

Encourage his dreams, support his decisions, respect his needs and make sure he has a home he can’t wait to come home to.

Pj and Suyin Enriquez

Pj:

Trust

Family vacations

Kids

Suyin:

Go out on dates or go out with friends without our daughter

Have a family day, usually Sunday when we do something together with our daughter, like go to Timezone or to the mall.

Surprise each other with gifts on special occasions

Valentine for singles: A primer

By Wanggo Gallaga
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Last updated 17:43:00 02/06/2009

WEARING black on Valentine’s Day to show protest against a day meant only for those lucky in relationships, is so passé. But going to a singles bar is just a little desperate.

However, if you couldn’t hit it off with someone before Valentine’s, then the singles bar, with its communal feeling of misery, might be the best place for you. It may also be a good place for a nookie. But honestly, that would just give you problemsâ€"such as trying to remember the person’s name the next day, and having to remember why you met in the first place.

There’s nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day. I say this with no bitterness. I am, after all, a pro in this, having spent 28 of my 29 years dateless on V-Day. Dateless, you can always go for the best explanationâ€"“I’m picky and choosy. I don’t settle and I just haven’t found the right person yet.”

Let’s just hope it’s true and you’re no loser. And don’t sound bitter when you say it. Say it with a little frustrationâ€"that sounds more genuine. The point is not to stress out and don’t let it get to you.

There’s a whole lot of fun to be had on the day meant for couples as long as you remember that when two become one, the more the “many-er!”

There are 365 days in a year. So you missed out on one that had all the best promos for eating for two, but who cares, really? Once you find that person, it will be magic, but while you haven’t, it’s best to avoid the horrors of Valentine’s: all the good restaurants are fully booked; movie theaters running romantic flicks are filled with lovers; flowers and chocolates are very expensiveâ€"and traffic is horrible. Finding parking is even more horrible.

So gather all your single friends and take advantage of the wretched Saturday by turning Valentine’s Day into the best “gimik night” your friends ever had. Because if marriage is an institution, then being single means being part of a fraternity.

Valentine singles party ideas

Hole up at home. Since V-Day starts on Saturday, make it a long weekend in someone’s house. Get there Friday night and leave Sunday afternoon when the carnage of Manila traffic is over. Do movie marathons or play Rock Band. Just stay out of the way of pesky couples and their demented idea of rubbing it into your face that you’ve no date. Best choice for a movie marathonâ€"a horror/slasher film. Stay away from romantic comedies!

Go out of town. Leave Friday night and come back on Sunday. February is usually cold so it’s best to put up a bonfire on the beach. The pictures are going to be so gorgeous their going to make your couples-friends green with envy. Too bad they were never invited.

Do karaoke. Take the barkada to your friendly neighborhood karaoke place. Sing mushy love songs or your favorite break-up ballads. Make that your way of pointing the dirty finger to all the two-less-lonely-people-in-the-world.


     

Cafe with no cashier, no bill for real


By Fe Zamora
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 03:43:00 02/08/2009

Filed Under: Good news, Retail, Beverages


IVANA, Batanesâ€"In this coffee shop, there is no barista to make Frappuccinos, accept payment or give change.

There is, however, something refreshingly unique about Honesty Coffee Shop where everything is bought and sold on the basis of, well, honesty.

On the wall is a price list of items for saleâ€"including coffeeâ€"and beside it a box and a sign, “Please pay here.”

For something to warm up the body, there’s hot water in a thermos bottle and beside it packets of coffee and some biscuits. For cold refreshments, there’s a refrigerator with bottled drinks. There are also T-shirts and souvenir items.

People help themselves to whatever they need and leave money in the box. Honest.

That’s business as usual at the Honesty Coffee Shop.

God is always watching

Not even the report of an alleged break-in at the café last December could convince its owner, Elena Gabilo, to put locks on the door or hire someone to watch the coffee shop.

“No need,” Gabilo, a 73-year-old retired schoolteacher, says in an interview. “Locked doors are not part of our tradition. If they don’t pay, it’s not done purposely. God is always watching.”

In an affidavit, Gabilo reported that on Dec. 18, some men entered her house and took 15 bottles of gin and left-over fried fish on her dining table. The bottles of gin were kept in boxes in the dining room.

The retired schoolteacher’s house is adjacent to the Honesty Coffee Shop.

Gabilo and her husband had just stepped out for “Misa de Gallo” when the intruders came. “There were no signs of forced entry because our doors were not locked,” she says.

Gin and fish

She did not report the incident to the police but asked them to “patrol the vicinity” of her house.

“I think the intruders only wanted gin, because the [town’s] supply was low,” Gabilo says. “And maybe fried fish for their pulutan (dish to go with liquor).”

She says gin is the preferred drink by the menfolk here, especially during the cold months. Bad weather had delayed the ship bearing supplies from Manila, thus the low supply of gin that week.

But Gabilo still had five boxes stashed in her dining room. “I think some people knew about this,” she says.

Not in the daytime

The Honesty Coffee Shop does not sell gin in the daytime.

“Gin is only available after sundown, when I’m back from the farm and I can personally sell it. I want to be sure the buyers are of legal age,” Gabilo says.

Neither does the coffee shop sell cigarettes.

A sixth class municipality with 1,300 residents, this town has six policemen to maintain the peace.

“We have zero crime rate,” says Mayor Ramon Elizondo.

Jail rarely used

In fact, the only crime committed here is “drunkenness and unruly behavior under the influence of gin,” Elizondo says.

“We detain the unruly drunk for six hours or until he’s sober. That’s the only time the jail gets used,” he adds.

Elizondo says the town’s peace and the people’s honesty are exemplified in the Honesty Coffee Shop, which Gabilo opened in 1995 when she retired as a public school teacher.

She opened the café initially to give warm drinks in the early morning to boat passengers bound for the outlying islands of Itbayat and Sabtang.

Single on a Day for Two


By Monette Quiogue
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 05:36:00 02/08/2009

Filed Under: relationships and dating, People, Festive Events (including Carnivals), Lifestyle & Leisure


LET’S face it: Valentine’s Day is for couples. It’s when the prices of flowers are sky high, walk-ins at restaurants are turned away, chocolate sales go through the roof, traffic goes haywire and single, unattached women feel like freaks.

We could shrug off the day and say that it’s all just a commercial holiday fueled by greeting card manufacturers and ad agencies. But at the end of the day, the fact remains: we single, unattached folks feel desolate and alone on Valentine’s Day.

Well, we could wallow in self-pity, lock ourselves in our room till the day is over, drink ourselves into a stupor or bury our heads, ostrich style, ignoring this ignominious day. But what for? Unless we meet the man of our dreams posthaste, we’ll have to repeat this exercise a year from now. So instead of having a one-woman pity party, here are a few tips on how to enjoy being single on this day for two:

1. Spend the day with family.

Yes folks, before you even met your honeys, babes, and darlings, Mom and Dad were there. Go back home and show the people who’ve loved you since birth just how special they are by taking them out for a nice meal, or better yet, haul out that apron and whip up something good for dinner.

2. Gather your posse.

There’s no better time to plan a girl’s night out than tonight. Spending the day with fellow singletons will make you realize you are not alone. You can go out to dinner. And for dessert? How about a round of jokes about all the PDA’s going on around you?

3. Movie night.

If you’re the type who feels a physical twitch somewhere in the chest when you see other couples cozying up, then stay in and make it a movie night. Pick-out films that make you feel good. My personal favorites? Action movies. Give me two hours of graphic violence and senseless killings by a gorgeous leading man. There’s nothing more cathartic than that! Take it from me.

4. Work overtime.

A fine excuse to explain why you’re not out on a date, plus it makes you sound important and indispensable, and even better, it gives you a good reason to avoid the hellish traffic that usually erupts this time of year. Hey, it’s probably going to take you twice the time to get home tonight anyway, so just stay at work, get stuff done and make some extra bucks.

5. Shop, shop, shop.

Nothing puts a bigger smile on a woman’s face than retail therapy. As in, why not pick up a new pair of shoes? Instead of wallowing in your misery, why not step into a pair of high heels and find yourself above it all? And if you do feel some pain, put it down to breaking in your new pair.

6. Take a “Me” Day.

Make today all about the person you should love most: yourself. Go on a trip to your favorite place, sign up for a four-hour deluxe spa package, spend hours at the salon getting a make-over, and so on. Pamper yourself; look good, feel goodâ€"for YOURSELF!

So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Lovers need a Valentine’s Day to find time for each other in the midst of all that work and other distractions. Give it to them. As for yourself, you have the rest of the year to feel the love. Now, ain’t that grand?

Marriage â€" Why Fix If Ain't Broke?

We value and take good care of things we considered useful and important to us. Things like house, cars or even cellular phones and other techie gadgets are our most valuable possessions that we can’t live our life without. We regularly keep it in good conditions so that they can be of good use to us at any given time. Sometimes, failing to fix it properly or at the very least; before anything goes wrong bring us more harm than good; cost-wise and convenience.
It also goes without saying with marriage.

When our group hosted a Marriage Encounter Seminar, the hardest part of it was neither logistics nor coming up with our target participants, but it is getting couples to say “yes” to our invitation. Unavailability, time constraints and work preoccupations were some of the “polite” reasons of them in turning down our invitations. But the sad and lame reason that we got so far was this: “Why the need to attend a marriage enhancement seminar? We don’t have any problem in our marriage? None at all, so why the need?”

Most of our lifetimes were spent in making our self good; physically and mentally. We spent about half of it for our intellectual development needed to sustain our career or perhaps our dreams and ambitions.  We devote considerable time as well for our physical conditioning in order to live a life longer so as to enjoy whatever luxuries we possessed. But how much time you’ve spent (if any) maintaining your marriage?

Marriage, like any other priced possessions needs certain “maintenance” in order for it to grow. Love provides nourishment to our marriage that will enable it to grow more into becoming a matured and secured. The “quality and amount” of effort put by both partners in making their relationship work defines the readiness of their relationship to go to the next level. Marriage, like learning is a never-ending cycle of progress. One must not cease in finding new ways in making his or her partner happy. Expression of love doesn’t goes out of style. However, love just re-invents itself to adopt the ever changing ways of how one expressed it.

Without the mutual effort and concern from both partners, a marriage relationship will succumb to its normal “wear and tear” to the passing of times. Definitely, you don’t need to wait for your marriage to be broken before deciding to fix it, unless you wanted to bear the high cost of terminating it.

Wanted: Condom testers

By Thea Alberto
INQUIRER.net
First Posted 17:50:00 02/04/2009

Filed Under: Unemployment, Employment


MANILA, Philippinesâ€"Are you married, have “strong knees”, and looking for a job? Try condom testing.

Durex condom is looking for 500 official condom testers in the Philippines. And all you need to do is try out Durex products for four weeks and comment online on their quality.

The first to accomplish the form and give the best answer to the question "What makes me the best Durex Condom Tester?" will win P50,000 cash, plus free products from Durex.

On it's website, Durex said applicants have to go to www.durex.com.ph and click on the portion that will lead them to durexcondomtester.com.ph where they can fill out a screener form.

“Chosen applicants will also be given a tester kit which contains a pack of each of the following Durex variants -- Love, Pleasuremax, Performa, Fetherlite, Tingle, Strawberry,” Durex said.

Tester kits will be sent to chosen applicants via courier, it said.

Candidates must be 21 to 35 years of age, married, and "experienced." Participants must also be "open to further training," have "strong knees," and "willing to work long hours."

So guys, wanna give it a try?

“Perfecting” an Imperfect Marriage

A Filipina married to a foreigner based in the Middle East asked me a question in a social networking forum. “Just wandering if perfect marriage does exist? I mean the one that doesn’t have any quarrel or misunderstanding?” She described her relationship as atypical of what marriage relationship that most of us probably knew.

Our definition of “perfect” marriage depends on how we look at our marriage life. Sometimes, we gauged our relationship’s performance by comparing it to such unrealistic “standards” of what perfect marriage should be.  Romance we see in movies or probably read in novels is an example of a relationship in its highest form of exaggeration. More often, such illusional relationship is a way of achieving the product’s commercial purpose -- to sell. The more you tried to compare yours to such illusionary relationship, the more you feel resentful of your marriage. 

While most of us think that a perfect marriage is the one who is a worry-free relationship, however, we could not even come up with an example of a self-confessed couple, claiming that they have a real fantastic relationship that is worth of everyone’s envy. The truth is, you can’t find any; not even one.

Marriage is similar to cooking. A dish can’t have its distinct taste without its flavorful ingredients, and so does marriage. A marriage relationship with partners having occasional misunderstandings, whether trivial or complicated; or where one partner caused hurt feelings to another is a relationship “perfected” by its imperfections. Lest we forget that these imperfections make our marriage becomes matured and immune to the same marital woes.

There is no secret in perfecting an imperfect marriage but partners, both ready to do their individual share in their relationship. An effort to reach a decision by making sure that whatever imperfections they might have will just be things of the past. You can never plan your marriage future if either one of you or both are still dwelling in the past.

For Marriage to Work â€" It Only Takes a Forgiving Heart and a Responsible Partner
http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Gener_Marcelo

Married partners in search of true happiness should steer clear of the idea that marriage is a bed of roses. The truth is; rose has its thorns.

I read a survey report conducted to 72 married couples in which the spouses were an average of 33 years old and had been married for about seven years. Most of the participants (66 percent) were Caucasian, followed by Asian (22 percent), Hispanic (5 percent) and African American (4 percent). The final 3 percent represented “other” nationalities. The participants were asked about marriage relationship, its conflict and common woes. While, money and housework were popular picks, surprisingly, sex and infidelity didn’t come up much as marital issue.

But why is it that extra-marital relation is one of the common causes of a dysfunctional marriage relationship that oftentimes leads to break-up? 

Cheating isn’t nice and unfortunately, it isn’t terribly uncommon. It is also the last thing that a wife or a husband wants to believe. Many believed that an ideal love relationship is a union of two equally faithful partners, and that no one must come in between them. It may be right in principle but far from reality.

“Infidelity is a marriage killer,” said one couple-friend of mine. There are so many articles written about marriage infidelity that offer tips, hints or sign on how to detect unfaithful spouse but unfortunately, none seems closer to offer “appropriate” ways of dealing with it. Most advices however focus on a “quick way out” and solution oftentimes veered towards practicality and preservation of one’s self-esteem. Perhaps, the idea of dispensing quick and easy solution appears more practical than the nifty but gritty ways of correcting it.

Quick-fix solution oftentimes ends up “going out-moving to” a new relationship. This quick-fix solution however overlooks the fact of morality and relationship’s sustainability. The truth is; there’s no guarantee that a newly found relationship will not lead you to the same relationship woes that you escaped from. Familiarity breeds contempt and this will not spare even your “brand-new” relationship.  No relationship is worth saving unless both partners are ready to do their respective shares in repairing their damaged relationship.

People tend to cheat no matter what their home life is like. Your spouse likewise is not an exception.  It is however one’s emotional maturity gained from the pain of having unfaithful partner and the painstaking effort of dispensing forgiveness, or the lack of both, that will pave the way for correcting one’s marital woes or simply to resign from it. And it is forgiveness that will make an unfaithful spouse to work hard on his maturity to commit himself to a pure love relationship until he gain the capacity to share his role in making the relationship work.

Marriage is not immune from trials and difficulties. In fact, these are what make a relationship even stronger. Keeping a record of your spouse’s dark past either will not make a relationship stronger. Openness however serves as an avenue for the unfaithful to understand how painful it is for you every time he cheated on you. Communicate and share with him your pain but never ask him the ever unanswerable question; “Why?” for he can’t give you any clear answer for that. Nagging, likewise will not give positive result for you might just drive him into committing more deceitful things.

Non verbal communication of pain oftentimes, is a powerful and effective way of making your man realized his mistakes. While it is true that you can’t get from a man what you didn’t asked. However, your man understands pain more when it’s spoken through his heart and not to his ears. Getting his heart to share with you the pain oftentimes prepares him to soften that completely leads him to openness and commitment, and this can happen without you asking him. His commitment normally comes after your forgiveness. His sincerest apology must be welcomed with a genuine forgiveness and both must agree to work towards the decision to sustain the relationship. This will pave the way for your man to compensate the forgiveness he had received with utmost responsibility and respect for he wants to re-build the trust he had lost.

Acceptance of mistakes and one's readiness to forgive are virtues of stronger and matured marriage. After all, marriage is a union of two forgiving partners.

From The Creator’s Hand Comes Every Masterpiece

When I was a child, my mother would always ask me to go to the pottery shop to buy vases for her orchids and flowers. My usual trip to the ceramics gallery will not be completed without visiting first the shop’s production area. It was really amazing to see how pots were transformed into a work of art from its once clay form.  But the thing that I treasured most was the life’s lesson learned from the potter. How he had explained to me the similarity between a pot and human was something I will never forget.

It all started one afternoon while watching the craftsman doing his work. I asked him how hot the furnace that he operates. “Very hot!” was the man’s reply. “Then, it’s a pity for all these pots to be put inside that furnace?” as I asked him. “Pot is like a human, both created from dust and to dust both shall return,” the man said. “But we could not be like pot for we will die if put inside that furnace?” was my reply to the man. The man replied, “You see boy, it’s the heat that makes the pot stronger. It could be very difficult for the pot to bear the heat but once he’s done, he could be tougher even you pressed him so hard.” “But how come it still breaks when you drop it to the floor; he’s not that tough, though?”I quipped. The man answered back, “That’s because the pot falls into the wrong hands.” 

In our lives come inevitable difficulties that we must face. It is these adversities that make us stronger and tougher. It is our capability to survive life’s toughest test that improves our resiliency to face a much stronger problem. However, no matter how tough we thought ourselves but if we fall into the wrong hands, like pots, we will break into pieces. Pride and arrogance are the deadly hands of sin that depart us from the ways how God wanted us to live our lives. Pride is what makes us rely on our own understanding. Arrogance is what makes us think that we should live our lives freely that we don’t need to be told what to do in our lives.

We are all God’s masterpiece for into Thy hands that we were created. But we could only be as good as His masterpiece if we remain in Him for He gives us knowledge and understanding to learn His commands and not breaking it. Lest we forget that no one knows us better than the One who created us. Can a mortal be more righteous than God? Can the pot be more pure than his maker? 

Greatness of a masterpiece can only be at the hands of its creator.

Every once in a while, a person appears in the horizon and captivates the people with his/her words, work and person. Such persons become a rallying point or an inspiration that triggers the imagination of people. Such persons are catalysts and agents of change. Such persons point to something or someone greater than themselves. Such persons are driven by a mission, not ambition; and motivated by commitment, not greed.

A moment with the Lord:

Lord, more than by words, let me be your messenger and your message. Amen.

Marriage - Open Both Eyes Before, Close One Eye After

“Undress yourselves before you get involved and make a commitment to someone for there’s no turning back once you’re there.” These were the words given to all couple-participants when my wife and I had our pre-nuptial seminar given by a parish worker in a local church where our wedding is to be solemnized.  The room was filled with laughter when I replied, “I thought undressing comes after the wedding ceremony?”

These words though rhetoric but are as equally important like what an African proverb says, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.”
Before you get involved and make commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, pressure from others make you blind to warning signs. You and your partner have many different expectations, emotional needs, values and dreams. Keep both eyes open and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone during the course of your marriage. Before committing yourself, have some time to observe the person who will become a part of your life. The more you open your eyes to evaluate his/her quality, respect, love and truth, the more easer it will become for you to decide who gets to sit beside you while watching your favorite television program.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, their flaws and vulnerabilities will become more obvious. But if you love your partner and want the relationship to grow and evolve to the next level, you’ve got to learn how to close one eye and not let little thing to bother you. These flaws however can turn into your advantage depending on how each one of you compliments the other. Neither of you are perfect, but you can be perfect for each other depending on how one completes the other. Try to look the gap in your hand’s fingers? Do you know what those gap means? Those gaps are meant to be complimented by your partner’s hand.

Marriage is accepting the person as what he/she is and not what you expect him/her to be. Partners are two imperfect but unique individual children of god who have decided to share a life together. And despite these imperfections that were seen by both eyes before marriage, closing one eye after will enables you to see not these imperfections but that someone who shared the altar with you when you said, “I do.”

Keeping Us from Harm’s Way

When I was a child, I speak, think and reasoned as a child. Now that I have reached the right age, I have relinquished my childish ways. (1 Cor. 13: 11)
 
This passage reminds me of my son’s diatribe against the way I’m raising him. He told his mother; “Daddy doesn’t love me” during their hearty discourse prompted by a decision of not allowing him to go out one Friday evening. I must admit that my son’s statement pierced my heart so deep that having it all said while I’m thousands of miles away from home trying to earn a living for the family. Certainly, I couldn’t blame him for having such kind of thinking. I once had the same kind of resentment against my father when I was a child. But now, having a family of my own, I realized that I have been unfair to my father whose only concern is to keep me from harm’s way.

I once had a thought that if I can only fast-track the passing of times, perhaps my son could easily discern between chastise and love, of freedom and responsibility and right from wrong. Maybe, this could also be what my father had wished of me back then. However, I believed that one’s maturity is shaped by its gradual understanding of life in general experienced through life in different stages. However, I believed likewise that it’s an elder’s own experiences in life that gives them moral ascendancy in discerning things wisely. It’s perhaps where this saying was taken: “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako.” (I’m on my way back while you’re still on your way there) 

Even we adults sometimes show certain level of immaturity in our ways and thinking as if we failed to take-off completely from our inner childhood. We despised the Lord’s way of discipline. We scorned God when He’s only concern is to keep us from sin that long separates us from Him. We call others hypocrites when all they’re after are offer their unsolicited counsel of years. We always hate to be disciplined and always yearning for freedom and right to live our life; our ways and not His. It is our stubbornness at times that put us in harm’s way.

Lest we forget that God disciplines the one he loves and chastises every child He accepts. We must all endure sufferings for being disciplined for God is treating us all as His children. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? But if you don’t experience discipline, something all sons have shared in, then you are illegitimate and are not sons. Discipline seems painful at time and not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it.

The completion of the role of all parents comes when they’re assured of their children’s future; not only here on earth but also in heaven. Securing this future entails lots of sacrifice and patience on the part of parents and often times in exchange of their own happiness. As a parent, I realized one thing; that the sum of my entire being is I’m needed by my family. Happiness comes more from loving than being loved. To love and to be hurt and to love again; in the same way as our Father in heaven had shown us.

Filipino â€" It’s Not Where You Are But Who You Are

There is nothing wrong in one’s adapting certain practices of other country especially if the situation calls for it. In fact, it’s expected for a Filipino to show respect to a host county for which he/she is a foreigner by doing what is customary to that country. On the other hand as I put it, only to “certain” practices as long as you’re comfortable of doing it. In doing so, one must draw the line between adapting and imitating. The former is appropriate but the latter is disgusting especially if it is unbefitting. The problem begins when one’s adaptation of foreign practices repulses the culture for which he or she was raised and much more; if such adaptation is highly uncalled for. Perhaps, the question should be rephrased by: “When and when not to adapt?”

One’s willingness to retain certain traits of being a Filipino, weather he’s pure or a mestizo (half-breed) depends on his orientation of the Filipino values, its culture and heritage. One’s adaptation of foreign culture is more prevalent to the Filipino migrant’s off-springs; either these kids were born and raised outside of the Philippines or migrated to other countries after being born in the Philippines. This is because of some Filipino migrants poised indignant of their root as a Filipino. How pathetic it is sometimes seeing a Filipino, that after staying for quite sometimes abroad suddenly lost memories of who and what he is; worst, could not even speak in his native tongue. 

As I simply put it, there is nothing wrong in embracing certain practices or norms of other country especially if it’s highly inevitable. However, we should never forget what we are and who we are. One’s toiling in a foreign country albeit for a long time could justify neither one’s selective amnesia nor its twisting tongue, worst; forgetting totally who he was.

The color of your hair and skin could not alter you’re being a Filipino. It’s in our veins and our blood is whimsical and enchanting.

Making Relationship Work - A Decision To Make

Relationship’s Three Rings

Fr. Larry Tan, SDB; is one of my favorite Salesian Catechists because of his antics unusual for a priest. I remember him one time giving a humorous but truthful homily during a Sunday Service. He said: “There are three kinds of rings in every relationship. First is the Engagement ring; a symbol of commitment between two lovers. The ring is symbolic of an ownership of one party to the other and vice-versa. Second is the Wedding ring; a symbol of engagement in its highest form thereby both parties agree to bind their commitment legally and with the blessing of the Holy Matrimony; that what God had joined, let no man separates. The third is Suffer-ring; being the last ring symbolic of pain suffered from a bad relationship after losing its magical spell.” His homily brought down all parishioners inside the church to laughter. However, I wish to add one more ring to what Fr. Larry had told. This is Tiri-ring (ring of lunacy); apt to partners who had lost their sanity because of unbearable pain and suffering caused by bad relationship. But was it really the relationship gone badly or the partners?

Always Looking for a Quick Way Out

I was browsing a thread from a social networking group when I chanced upon a forum titled: “Marriage or Live-in?” The majority is in favor of live-in over marriage simply because of convenience. In this age of modernization, everything comes easy; ATM that dispenses money anytime and anywhere, Instant Noodles, Instant Coffee and the like. It is a common nature of human to desire convenience. This common desire is the reason why we always dream of the impossibleâ€"to find the best partner in life. In so doing, people go in and out of a relationship, as if one so eager to find best buys from items up for sale. But the question is: Why would you look for a best mate where in fact you’re not perfect either? The truth as we all know it; nobody is perfect, not even one.

There is No Bad Relationship But Bad Partners

When marriage started to lose its intimacy or when fairy tale’s magic wanes out, couples are starting to entertain the thoughts of escaping to find another Romeo or perhaps, a new Juliet. How easy after all to get out of a messy relationship to find someone new. It is the thought perhaps that marriage, like any other contract will terminate at the end of a predetermined expiry date. We never realized however, that it is the couple who must consummate the relationship in order for it to work wonderfully as it should and not the other way around. Relationship fails not because it is bound to fail but it is because partners failed to do their respective share in the relationship.

Relationship is a Decision

Making a decision is arriving at a solution that ends uncertainty or that settles a dispute. It is distinguishing between options; some big, some little, some good and some evil. When making a decision, you must choose between little things such as chocolate or vanilla ice cream or big issues like which career to pursue or what house to buy. How about a decision whether to stay or get out of a bad marriage?

My marriage is an example of a relationship that almost gone off-track. If not for my wife’s decision not to surrender to all of my misgivings, I would be singing a different tune at this point. How she bears to continuously loving an immature and conceited husband as I used to be is a decision she had made at the time when our marriage is on-the-rocks. Had she opted for an easy way out of a shaky relationship, I would not even have the moral ascendancy to write this article.

Making Relationship Work

We all made mistakes. Some are accidental while others are intentional and sinful. But what had happened in the past must stay in the past and should never be opened unless you want to unleash the curse inside Pandora’s Box. Love never keeps records of wrongs and misgivings but good memories.
 
Many times I have used this favorite phrase: “There is no such thing as marriage made in heaven.” But marriage could be a bed of roses or bed of thorns depending on how we want it to be. For a relationship to work requires love put into action. Love has to be compounded by hard work between two willing partners in order for a relationship to work. While it is true that love had started it all however, your good intention of making your relationship work will re-define the meaning of love from a “simple noun” into “verb.”

The right decision is not always the popular and the easiest one. Ask for God’s discernment in all the decision that you are going to make not only in your marriage but also to your life as a whole. And with that, you can never go wrong and you are sure that you will be making a good decision.

The Will to Survive

The human race is now facing the worst of what Armageddon in the Bible has to offer like disaster, calamities, economic turmoil, nations at war, apathy, hunger, poverty, crime and corruption.  Are there good things left for us to expect?

In a dog-eat-dog situation, a hungry man is willing to face whatever consequence of giving up his soul in order to survive.  The instinct to survive doesn’t recognize the right of others to survive; even their own kind. In a tense situation depicting the rule of the jungle, chances of survival is higher to that of the strongest and the fittest but lower to those unfit.

This painted scenario is not far from what is happening in the society we live today. In time of desperation, most of us will probably think like if we only had a government that is honest and true to their mandate, or a leader who at the very least was as entrepreneurial and progressive as some of other country’s leaders, wouldn’t you feel a tad more hopeful about our future and more willing to help make things work? But the truth is; they are not.

In dire times, procrastination could lead us to nowhere. It’s about time to do what we think can do us good rather than waiting for others to do what they are supposed to do. If we keep on blaming others for our miseries, would it change the situation? If something you expect never happened and the people you relied on failed to deliver, the situation will never change either unless you do or take part in something that will effect change. No amount of whining and griping can solve any problem unless an action leading to a solution is done. Besides, procrastination can never bring food on our table, so does our whining.

Being a part of a solution is a decision to make in the same way as to remain part of a problem on hand. The future depends on the action you will do today. In harder times, continuous dependency for other is tantamount to nothing. Why would you entrust your life to other if they are only after of their own survival?

What you think and do is what you will become, that is life’s predisposition. If we think that life has been very cruel to us is because of how we predisposed our thinking and actions to life’s cruelties. The world is a big jungle where survival of the fittest and elimination of the unfit applies.

Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, please allow me to share to you an article from my blog. -Gener

Love is Not Only a Feeling but a Decision

If I speak with tongues of men and angels but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all the mysteries and all knowledge; have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-3)

I love one particular scene in the movie “Crocodile Dundee.”A folk hero from the outback country of Australia, Crocodile Dundee visits New York City for the first time. While accompanied by a female newspaper writer, he finds himself cornered by a gang of young thugs. When Dundee does not immediately produce his wallet, one young hoodlum pulls out a switch blade and threatens Crocodile Dundee. Nonplused by such aggression, Crocodile simply reaches behind his back with the words, “That’s not a knife,” suddenly producing the largest knife I have ever seen, “This is a knife!” Quickly disarmed, the hoodlums run for their lives. As I read Chapter 1 of Corinthians 13, I see Apostle Paul somewhat like Crocodile Dundee. His words seem to say, “That’s not love. This is love!”

Two years ago, my wife and I had attended a Marriage Encounter Seminar upon the invitation of a family friend. There in the seminar, couple-participants were made to listen as the speakers do their sharing and conceptualize the topic at the end of each sharing. One particular subject that gets into my line of thinking was the topic as posted on the board that reads: “Love is not only a feeling but a decision.” At first, I couldn’t understand the message behind that topic but as the speaker starting to narrate her own life story, the picture becomes clearer to me. At that point, I realized how love in its initial state of being a mere feeling can turn into a decision-prompted action.

Disillusion is a stage when a relationship reached a certain point of plateau. With nothing new to offer and with both partners succumb to a series of dull moments, the mind is starting to entertain the idea of assessing one’s “needs and wants.” A lull in a relationship can make passion and romance vanished in instant especially when common realities of life come into play. Money matters, child-rearing, monotonous sex life and even simple misunderstanding could diminish the intimacy of a marriage relationship. This disillusion can turn a promising love story in a kaput; the relationship’s break-even point. There at that point, one’s decision could spell the relationship’s ending or its moving to the next level.

This decision oftentimes can be shaped by one’s recollection of things you did together in the past, either good or bad. Good memories could be a recollection of how the two of you first met, how you fell in love with each other and how your partner captures your heart. A telltale sign of the not so good memories lies on how these unfortunate memories overwhelmed the good ones. Whatever is the outcome of such decision defines our complete understanding or the lack of it when it comes to love. Your decision to let bad memories overwhelmed good ones is a simile of the small blade that the young hoodlum poked upon Crocodile Dundee. “That is not a knife. This is a Knife!”

Love is kind and is not jealous. Pure love is the one who does not take into account a wrong suffered for love keeps no records of wrongdoings. Love requires a forgiving heart for marriage after all is a union of two forgiving partners. Love is patient and requires one to endure all things, bears all things and believes all things. Love is selfless and never fails if you play a bit blind to your partner’s inconsistencies. If not for my wife’s being blind in all of my shortcomings, our marriage could never be the way we are now.

Of course more easily said than done but it is after all how a relationship should work. A relationship that requires a decision to fall in love again to the same person you promised to be with the rest of your life.  Lest we forget that we swore to love the one who wears our ring that even at its worst, love still remains the same today, tomorrow and the days to come.

To Be or Not to Be?
By: Gener Marcelo

With all sort of problems the human race is facing; disasters, calamities, economic turmoil, hunger, poverty, unemployment, crime, corruption, will there be good things left for us to expect?

In a dog-eats-dog situation, a hungry man will offer even his soul just to survive; a hard reality of life. As the events slowly unfolding right in our very eyes, seeing people pushed to their extremes where stronger ones preying on the weak even their own kind, this environment that we live is no different to a jungle. Survival only reserved to the fittest and those unfit will be eliminated.
Probably most of us will normally ask that If we only had a government that is honest and true to its mandate, or a leader who at the very least was as entrepreneurial and progressive as some of other country's leaders, wouldn't you feel a tad more hopeful about our future and more willing to help make things work? But probably the most important question you should ask yourself is this, “What if they are not?”

In dire times, procrastination could lead us to nowhere. If we stop saying "if's" and "buts’" at the very least and start doing what we think is good as part of our share to the overall solution, wouldn’t it change the situation for the better? If something you expect never happened and the people you relied on failed to deliver, the situation will never change as well unless you do or take part in something that will effect change. No amount of whining and griping can solve any problem unless a solution is considered. Besides procrastination can never bring food on your table, so does your whining.

To be part of the solution or the problem is a decision to make. Your future depends on your action today. In harder times, continuous dependency for others action could always be a bitter pill to swallow but why would you swallow this bitter pill if there’s other way of doing it?

What you think and what you do is what you will become, that is your life’s predisposition. Either you remain as part of the problem at hand or be ready to offer or do what you think will contribute to the solution is a decision that you alone can make.

Why I’m (still) against Death Penalty?

We all know that grass and weeds deprived protein that palay rice deserve most and for a farmer to have a bountiful harvest; he has to remove these weeds from the rice fields. Kaingin (field burning) is one way of clearing grass before the planting season, this method seems to be the fastest and easy way of clearing the fields of grass but there's bigger chance that grass will grow back. Another way of ensuring that the grass will not grow back is to ensure that grass are weeded out from its main roots, thus comes the popular problem-solving problem method employ by most learned peopleâ€"Root Cause Analysis. This is to ensure that the problem is analyzed from its root and not superficially.

Death Penalty is somewhat equivalent to KAINGIN. While the punishment seems like forceful and swift but will not guarantee a long term solution to Coup 'd etat, rape, murder, corruption and other heinous crimes and cancers of our society. You cannot threaten somebody with an empty stomach. A hungry person knows one thing and has a one-track mind; that he will die if will not do something about his hunger.

Killing all these criminals will not eradicate this cancer of our society, UNLESS we deal with the very root cause of the problem. And you know what the root cause of all these problems is? Greed. If all of us can only learn how to moderate the greed that lives within us, no amount of worse punishment can curb these social cancer that enslave people not only in the Philippines but the world in its entirety. Now probably, you will be asking, “Then, how you will solve crimes if you are not in favor of Death penalty?"

In order for the Justice System to work in any country (not only in the Philippines), one should understand the 4 Pillars of Justice System.

1. Enforcement of laws
No sacred cow and no one is above the law. Enforcers such as PDEA Major Marcelino are a living example of how enforcers will enforce the rule of law

2. Prosecution of the offenders
Incorruptible prosecutors, zero tolerance to bribery. Prosecutors should be selected by an independent body such as JBC (Judicial Bar Council) and not presidential appointees

3. Judicial System
Did I say "NO TO BRIBERY?" People in the likes of Justice Hilario Divide, Jr. There are still people with integrity like him just waiting for the right moment.

4. Correction System
A penitentiary system that aims for complete rehabilitation of law offenders. No rich cow and no biased while in jail, NO VIP TREATMENT like what they extended to Claudio Tehankee, Rolito Go, Romeo Jalosjos, Ex-mayor Sanchez and the list goes on and on....and on.....and on

We don’t need DEATH PENALTY to deter crimes and we don’t need MORE LAWS for we have so many laws that are existing, just effective implementation of system is all we need to do. As I have said, we don’t need to reinvent the wheel.

   

Why I’m against Death Penalty?

In a tense situation where both sides are hurling invectives and accusations against each other, the Philippines is now again entering into another saga of Filipinos favorite past time; the “blaming game.” As the situation flares up, here comes the resurgence of another debatable issue; re-imposition of death penalty. And what makes this game more exciting are the “riders” that goes with the issue. There you can expect opportunist politicians aiming for the 2010 elections joining the fracas, not to solve the problem but to get media exposure. A sure way of getting the people remember them come election time but no thanks to the “TRAPOS” (traditional politicians), we don’t intend to make our headache into tumor.

I’m in full support of the government’s campaign against prohibited drugs, its use, manufacture and distribution but I strongly opposed to the restoration of death penalty that was repealed by the 13th Congress. While it may looks like a strong deterrent to crimes including heinous ones, but this can worsen the case of bribery not only in its implementing agencies but also in the judiciary. Those arrested suspects who have the power and influence may resort “more” to bribery since the penalty if found guilty is graver while those who doesn’t have the right “connection” will definitely be in the losing end. History will tell that even during its imposition in the past, no known personalities and “big fish” got the taste of what is like to be put in the lethal injection chamber but poor people and those victims of unfair trial oftentimes are the ones meted out with the death penalty.

No rule can be more effective unless it is implemented to its fullest without fear and favor. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel to know its purpose. Just implement the existing law, that’s all we need to do.

The Tree and its Fruit

A University Professor in his e-mail reacted on a recent article I wrote concerning rich kids who had lost their ways in life and how parents at times consenting to it. His reaction ended with a question: “Would you let your child rot in jail if you have the money?”

I know the good Professor was just trying to challenge the paradigm of parent’s role in order to stir up our discussion. The fact that the Professor is teaching in this University famously known as the oldest learning institution in Asia, if not in the world, I’m sure he is up for something. I sent him a reply and what I told him is this: “A tree is known by the fruit it bears.”

This phrase painted the sad but true scenario in our present society. Gone are the days when parents imposed “curfew” to their children attending social gatherings and how a child could lose this privilege if he fails to abide by this rule. Gone are the days when parents are the first persons that children confide with issues that affect them; dreams and aspirations in life, successes and failures and even affairs of the heart. Nowadays, parent’s roles are relegated to simply a provider. There’s nothing wrong in giving our children nothing but the best, and who doesn’t want to? I grope for words to describe parent’s wishful thinking of giving in to all their children’s pleading. But sometimes, it’s what you gave that put your children where they are; either good or bad situation. But what is worst than seeing a parent doing exactly what a child ought not to do or see? Do you practice what you preach? A good tree bears good fruit and a bad fruit surely comes from a bad tree for no good tree will bear bad fruit.

Going back to the question; if would I let my child rot in jail if I have the money? Well, I will let the money rot in jail instead of my child. And the sure of way of doing that is for him not to do things that will put him in jail, otherwise, how would one learn the lesson if there is no difference in the consequence of doing right and wrong? As what the Lord said; “Resent not your father’s discipline for he treats you as his own in the same way as I treated you all as my sons.”