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Author Topic: Mangatawa Usa Ta.  (Read 67010 times)

Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #40 on: September 02, 2007, 02:08:12 PM »
Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
Joseph: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?! Ang H2O ay Hot water!
At ang CO2...
Cold water.

hahahahhaa


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #41 on: September 02, 2007, 02:11:15 PM »
ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
2. Rats are normal house pets.
3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #42 on: September 02, 2007, 02:12:12 PM »
ENRIQUE ZOBEL: Half Filipino Half Spanish.
HENRY SY: Half Filipino Half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: Half Filipino Half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: Half Hawaiian Half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: Half Filipino Half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: Half Filipino Half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: Half Filipino Half Moon.
GMA: Half...


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #43 on: September 02, 2007, 02:22:13 PM »
Empleyado : Boss, namatay diay atong manager, pwede ba ako nalang
mopuli sa iyang pwesto ?
Boss : Pwde man, pero ambot kaha ug mosugot ang funeraria .


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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #44 on: September 02, 2007, 02:48:35 PM »
hahahahha palamoota man ni oi. more more more!!! sige kog katawa dire, nangatagak gud ang akong laway.  suko akong bana, naaddict na kuno ko aning tubag bohol.

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #45 on: September 02, 2007, 02:59:13 PM »
@ willmerit

abi ko nangatagak ang mga ngipon sa imo posteso^ bwahahahah

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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #46 on: September 02, 2007, 08:34:54 PM »
Wil, tagak tagak imong laway? ako luha2x  hahahahhahhahahhahahahhaahahhahhahhahahha ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #47 on: September 02, 2007, 10:16:56 PM »


MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #48 on: September 02, 2007, 10:19:19 PM »
GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?
RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir, Special or Deluxe na room ?
GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?
RECEPTIONIST : Special, naay masahista ug TV. Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang masahista!!


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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #49 on: September 02, 2007, 11:01:41 PM »
GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?
RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir, Special or Deluxe na room ?
GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?
RECEPTIONIST : Special, naay masahista ug TV. Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang masahista!!



 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #50 on: September 02, 2007, 11:25:44 PM »
  Isang panget na babae, hinoholdap
  Holdaper:  Holdap ito!  Akin na gamit mo!
  Babae (sumigaw): RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
  Holdaper:  Anong rape?  Holdap nga to eh!
  Babae:  Nagsa-suggest lang.


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #51 on: September 02, 2007, 11:31:24 PM »
   Holduper:   Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
   Biktima:    Ikaw PILI...bastaa pareho po yan
                   walang laman!


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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #52 on: September 02, 2007, 11:49:16 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2007, 12:25:31 AM »
Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
Joseph: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam 'yun?! Ang H2O ay Hot water!
At ang CO2...
Cold water.
Empleyado : Boss, namatay diay atong manager, pwede ba ako nalang
mopuli sa iyang pwesto ?
Boss : Pwde man, pero ambot kaha ug mosugot ang funeraria .


  Isang panget na babae, hinoholdap
  Holdaper:  Holdap ito!  Akin na gamit mo!
  Babae (sumigaw): RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
  Holdaper:  Anong rape?  Holdap nga to eh!
  Babae:  Nagsa-suggest lang.


hahaha ganahan diay siya lol

   Holduper:   Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
   Biktima:    Ikaw PILI...bastaa pareho po yan
                   walang laman!




GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?
RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir, Special or Deluxe na room ?
GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?
RECEPTIONIST : Special, naay masahista ug TV. Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang masahista!!


member siguro pud sa TB ang masahista  ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2007, 12:26:18 AM »
Wil, tagak tagak imong laway? ako luha2x  hahahahhahhahahhahahahhaahahhahhahhahahha ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

ako walay nagtulo ug walay nangatagak pero sige bahakhak hahaha

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #55 on: September 06, 2007, 11:56:25 AM »
hhehhehe apil akong bana katawa, gipatranslate nako ang mga binisayang joke.  lingaw kaau siya sa condom.  that was the best joke!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2007, 12:11:16 PM »
Perteng sakita sa akong tiyan kinatawa oi LOL

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #57 on: September 06, 2007, 06:04:10 PM »

UYAB ... murag isdang tinula na lami kan-un labi nag paso pa!

KAVIT ... murag isdang gipaksiw lami kan-un bisag kaugmaan pa!

ASAWA ... murag sardinas ablihan lang kong wala nay lain sud-an! :lol: :lol:

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #58 on: September 06, 2007, 06:06:15 PM »
LAKI : Day, manan-aw tag sine!?

BABAE : Unya, di ka manggunit ug totoy? di ka mangagbay? di ka manghalok? da ka manguot bisong!?

LAKI : Di Oy!!

BABAE : ngee.... ikaw nalay tan-aw!!


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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #59 on: September 06, 2007, 06:22:33 PM »
....to prevent pregnancy use ...I.U.D...recommended by doctors..tested by women....dont for get I .U .D....."I-nig U-tog D-agan"

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #60 on: September 06, 2007, 06:23:06 PM »
MR: gikan ko sa SSS gipakita lang nako ang akong puting buhok
aproved dayon ang retirement nako..

MRS: gipakita unta na imong oten aron makuha dayon pud imong
disabilty binifit mo.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #61 on: September 06, 2007, 06:24:11 PM »


hahahahahahaha....buanga gyod ninyo oi.............. really kataw-anan....hehehe

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #62 on: September 06, 2007, 06:25:53 PM »
ANAK: Tay kinsa imo love?ako o si nanay?

TATAY: Syempre ikaw jud!

ANAK: Bantog ra kay inig ka kadlawon imo kung habulan unya si nanay imong hubuan!....

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #63 on: September 06, 2007, 06:29:03 PM »
Customer mikaon sa restaurant: Waiter, hatagi ko ug soup# 5.

Waiter pagbalik nagdala na sa soup: Kini Sir guwapo kaayo ni, o*** sa baka gipatay sa Matador.

Customer pagkahuman ug kaon gitawag ang waiter: Lami kaayo tong soup#5 karon da. Dagko pa gyud ug hiwa nganong adtong last week, gagmay man to imo hatag sa akoa?

Waiter: Aw kadto Sir, o*** to sa Matador gipatay sa Baka

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #64 on: September 06, 2007, 06:32:03 PM »
mga istudyante sa college nag istambay kay walay klase...
may milabay nga high school student, babae seksi na kaayong bata.

Hinambug dayon ang usa ka college boy. ''wow pare, high school pa pero ang totoy college na.'' 

sus kay misukol man ang dalagang high school. mitubag dayon '' ikaw! college na, pero imong o***! high school pa!.''

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #65 on: September 06, 2007, 06:33:15 PM »
Gihangak gyod ko kinatawa ug basa ani.
Salamat kaayo sa tanan nga nagpost sa mga jokes.

Ciao!



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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #66 on: September 06, 2007, 06:34:56 PM »
hahaha very funny makalingaw jud kaau ;)

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #67 on: September 06, 2007, 06:38:06 PM »
pari ug sakristan nagpahambogay..

sakristan: unsa man dre..abtik man jud ka sa chicks..padaghanay ta..kada sulod sa babaye kon atong nakuanan motakla ta...

pari: sige..

unya naay nisulod chicks sa simbahan...takla dayon sakristan...takla sad pari ...hangtod daghan na jud nisulod unsa'y matilawan sa sakristan,, natilawan sad sa pari..

unya naay nisulod nga hamtong nga babaye..

sakristan: hilom kaayo wa katakla

pari: mitakla...kusug kaayo...

sakristan: mihilak...waaaaaaaaa grabeha nimo dre uy

pari: ngano ka? mohilak diay ka kon wa ka katilaw?

sakristan: waaaaaa! ako man nang mama! waaaaaaaaa

pari: butangi!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #68 on: September 06, 2007, 06:39:06 PM »
KUGMO

kung ang kugmo tam-is na-a kay sakit nga DIABETES
kung ang kugmo aslom na-a kay sakit sa KIDNEY
kung ang kugmo parat na-a kay sakit sa ATAY
kung ang kugmo imong TILAWAN na-a kay sakit sa UTOK!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #69 on: September 06, 2007, 06:46:42 PM »
hahahaha!!!!! nawala akong duka dri sa ofis!!! ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #70 on: September 06, 2007, 07:43:53 PM »
TEACHER:  watz ur name kid??

PUPIL:     Earlyseven Strikeland po!

TEACHER: fil-am kaba??

PUPIL:  Hindi po! Yun po ang name ko sa ingles..Sa tagalog po!  "AGAPITO HAMPASLUPA"

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #71 on: September 06, 2007, 07:46:18 PM »
hahahaha!!!!! nawala akong duka dri sa ofis!!! ;D
wala cguro kay trabaho sa ofis ning no mao na nagduka ka! ahahhahahaha!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #72 on: September 06, 2007, 07:47:31 PM »
JUAN: Pedro nasaksak ako! Walang hinto agos ng dugo ko.plz call me a nurse!
PEDRO: sige, your a nurse! nurse ka Juan! ur a nurse!nurse kaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #73 on: September 06, 2007, 07:48:57 PM »
TEACHER:  watz ur name kid??

PUPIL:     Earlyseven Strikeland po!

TEACHER: fil-am kaba??

PUPIL:  Hindi po! Yun po ang name ko sa ingles..Sa tagalog po!  "AGAPITO HAMPASLUPA"

hahaha kuyawa iningles sapangalan ah!


JUAN: Pedro nasaksak ako! Walang hinto agos ng dugo ko.plz call me a nurse!
PEDRO: sige, your a nurse! nurse ka Juan! ur a nurse!nurse kaaaaaaaaaaaaa!


niara diay ning teknik par ma professional ta hahaha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #74 on: September 06, 2007, 07:55:00 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #75 on: September 06, 2007, 08:22:40 PM »
wala cguro kay trabaho sa ofis ning no mao na nagduka ka! ahahhahahaha!

mao jud...hulat lng ko sa oras...submit nmn nako ganina mrning akong dwgs...weekend na!!! yehhheeeyyyy!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #76 on: September 06, 2007, 08:24:53 PM »
hahahahhahhahhahhahhahahhahahha!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #77 on: September 06, 2007, 08:26:35 PM »
mao jud...hulat lng ko sa oras...submit nmn nako ganina mrning akong dwgs...weekend na!!! yehhheeeyyyy!!
Dwgs? ::) unsa imo software gamit?

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jaja

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #78 on: September 06, 2007, 08:51:21 PM »
Dwgs? ::) unsa imo software gamit?

Autocad.....im working as an autocad operator. :)

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Bambi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #79 on: September 07, 2007, 02:07:31 PM »
Gervistil you very cra´zy!   dis-a ka ning imong mga jokes Ti uy? ;D ;D ;D ;D :'(

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