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Author Topic: Mangatawa Usa Ta.  (Read 67013 times)

Glen

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #400 on: February 20, 2008, 02:22:52 PM »
Swetsirt- Kuhaon ko ang mga bitoon og ihatag ko kanimo.

Lab- Saba diha swetsirt waman gani ka kakuha anang imong gugmo nga gatambisay sa imong ilong.

Swetsirt- Aw sorry Lab ha...wala man god ko masayud nga gusto sad ka ani.

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #401 on: February 20, 2008, 02:41:15 PM »
Tetsir: Paul 1+3
Paul: 4 mam
Tetsir: very good
Ikaw Barbaro 33x69
Barbaro: Mao na ni kun lisod na gani ako dajun pangutan-on
pavor pavor absini nalang ko oy!

sus boanga.. maayo nalang kay mitungha koron.. dili unta ko kabasa ani..heheheh

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #402 on: February 21, 2008, 03:16:46 AM »
GIRLS reaction to Sizes:

9in: “oh s*** ang sakit!”

7in: “Yes ang sarap!”

6in: “Oh perpek!”

5in: “mm…ok!”

4in: “diin mo pa!”

3in: “Pasok naba!”

2in: “kala ko dila, BWISIT!”

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Lorenzo

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #403 on: February 21, 2008, 03:51:01 AM »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

omg, i died on that one. :D :D


Barbs, mao na ang motto, "it don't count till you got the girth."


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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #404 on: February 21, 2008, 04:27:29 AM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #405 on: February 21, 2008, 06:07:23 AM »
GIRLS reaction to Sizes:

9in: “oh s*** ang sakit!”

7in: “Yes ang sarap!”

6in: “Oh perpek!”

5in: “mm…ok!”

4in: “diin mo pa!”

3in: “Pasok naba!”

2in: “kala ko dila, BWISIT!”

Help!

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lindy

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #406 on: February 21, 2008, 12:05:04 PM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

hahahahahahahaha....

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mawjood

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #407 on: February 21, 2008, 04:52:00 PM »
Hay salamat kay nakaabot na gyud ko sa tumoy aning mga jokes, perti tawn nakong balik ug subay kay lisod ning mabiyaan ta, maayong adlaw ninjo tanan, modayon na pod ko utro dinhi ha!

LOVE CODE
Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahilig siyang sumulat ng coded love
messages tulad ng:
ITALY - I truly adore and love you
SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are
Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan , sinikap niyang
gumawa ng "love letter" na gamit ang  alphabet:
ABC - Always be careful
DEF - Don't Ever forget
GHI - Go Home Immediately
JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me
NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should
Treat U Very Well
Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and
natitira...XYZ.
Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras,
napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago
sinulat ang:
XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!




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svetlana

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #408 on: February 21, 2008, 04:55:59 PM »
Hahahahaha

Xee you soon!!!!  ;D

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #409 on: February 21, 2008, 04:56:05 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."






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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #410 on: February 22, 2008, 12:12:18 AM »
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mawjood

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #411 on: February 22, 2008, 10:51:16 AM »
One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.
Erap : Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.
Ramos : Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.
Erap : Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.
Ramos : Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos ; Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng naka-bathing suit.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babaeng naka-bathing suit, >eh >>di >> > >lalakeng - lalaki ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kita mo na, ganyan lang ang logic!
Erap : Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!
The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate. . .
Erap : Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.
Maceda : Sige nga!
Erap : May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Maceda : Wala.
Erap : Bakla ka pala

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willmerit

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #412 on: February 22, 2008, 10:25:43 PM »
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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #413 on: February 23, 2008, 02:32:45 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D mawjood................are you a fan of Erap? Haskang lokoha aw logikka diay to siya? hahahahahaha

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #414 on: February 23, 2008, 07:24:30 AM »
Hahaha mawjood, xee you zoon ;D

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david

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #415 on: February 27, 2008, 03:43:36 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #416 on: February 27, 2008, 04:01:07 PM »
ay eh kinsa man ni oi. padak e ky d makita ang kaguapo nimo mr beam.

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Scarb

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #417 on: February 27, 2008, 06:29:26 PM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

hahahahahahahaha....

hahahaha kinsay itom?

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mawjood

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #418 on: February 28, 2008, 01:47:02 PM »
;D ;D ;D mawjood................are you a fan of Erap? Haskang lokoha aw logikka diay to siya? hahahahahaha

Way laing sumsuman ug istorya sa opisina kung mag coffee break, si erap madali-dali, o nia pay lain:

Beast of Burden
Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
ERAP: How about another Carabao?

Testing
As Erap's Driver test drive the vehicle,
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light (as driver  switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw.......


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #419 on: March 01, 2008, 01:29:46 AM »
...A frog went inside Malacanang Palace..It deeply disturbed GMA because
when the frog croaked it said.....
"Korap! Korap! Korap!

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #420 on: March 01, 2008, 05:55:08 PM »
American: We went thru a terrible crises because of 9/11. How
about you Filipinos?
Filipino: Oh, we have our 4'11 and we are still experiencing
the worst.

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #421 on: March 01, 2008, 08:10:26 PM »
hahhahah looya pod ni erap ug ni gloria. 

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #422 on: March 02, 2008, 11:04:46 PM »
Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- -PREGNANCY
TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ipinasasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #423 on: March 02, 2008, 11:08:09 PM »
Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- -PREGNANCY
TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ipinasasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

hahahahhaha korek!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #424 on: March 03, 2008, 11:02:59 PM »
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #425 on: March 04, 2008, 02:44:36 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #426 on: March 04, 2008, 12:20:42 PM »
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

hahahahahaha amew!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #427 on: March 04, 2008, 12:38:51 PM »
Sharon: Sweetheart bakit puyat na puyat ka ngaun?
Gabby: Paano sweet di ako makatulog dahil siningil ako ni paring William sa utang natin!
Sharon: Ganito ang gagawin mo sweet, sabihin mo kay paring William na wala tayong pambayad para sya naman ang di makatulog!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #428 on: March 04, 2008, 12:46:04 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #429 on: March 04, 2008, 02:53:29 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

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lindy

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #430 on: March 04, 2008, 03:38:59 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

kita sinumbagay

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #431 on: March 04, 2008, 03:40:14 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

kita sinumbagay

Kuyawa god nimo utangan Kuya Lindy mo abot man gyod sa sinumbagay. Agoy kasakit og walay ikabayad.Hahahaa

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #432 on: March 04, 2008, 05:22:24 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

Mao nay problema nato mga Pilipino humok ug kasingkasing, makalimot dayon, hinaut unta nga mabag-o na ni nga kinaiya.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #433 on: March 04, 2008, 05:27:13 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

Pwede pod "utang lipay, bayad dugay, dayon tingil suko-suko kay gusto libre diay"

kita sinumbagay
;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #434 on: March 04, 2008, 07:00:10 PM »
Ate: Inday, chinese pasko ah, sinosino ba ikaw bati?
Inday: Ay ati benate ku napu c koya nabate ku na din pu driver
naten. Si sir, babatehen ku uli mamayang gabe.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #435 on: March 05, 2008, 07:27:20 AM »
Sharon: Sweetheart bakit puyat na puyat ka ngaun?
Gabby: Paano sweet di ako makatulog dahil siningil ako ni paring William sa utang natin!
Sharon: Ganito ang gagawin mo sweet, sabihin mo kay paring William na wala tayong pambayad para sya naman ang di makatulog!

Mao ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #436 on: March 06, 2008, 08:02:23 PM »
Buyer: Magkano kambing?
Muslim: Isang libo.
Buyer: Ha? mahal naman! 800 nalang.
Muslim: Di pwede, sabi ASAWA ko wag benta pag di libo.
Buyer: Ganon?! Kalahati libo?
Muslim: Yan! Pwede na.

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Scarb

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #437 on: March 09, 2008, 04:03:06 AM »
Buyer: Magkano kambing?
Muslim: Isang libo.
Buyer: Ha? mahal naman! 800 nalang.
Muslim: Di pwede, sabi ASAWA ko wag benta pag di libo.
Buyer: Ganon?! Kalahati libo?
Muslim: Yan! Pwede na.

agoy yataps japon ni Asawa hahaha
katunga na lang jud hinoon ;D

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"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."
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swakee

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #438 on: March 09, 2008, 06:18:10 AM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

Mao nay problema nato mga Pilipino humok ug kasingkasing, makalimot dayon, hinaut unta nga mabag-o na ni nga kinaiya.
mao jud!

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #439 on: March 09, 2008, 12:43:11 PM »
Use DEDICATE in a sentence....
Pag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...
How about CONTINUE....
Kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....
Idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET....
Naholdap yung cellphone ko, di bale I'll VIOLET.....
eto pa..OPINION. ...
Papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION....
Eh ang CONCLUSION.. ..
Syempre, di ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan CONCLUSION..  

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