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Author Topic: Mangatawa Usa Ta.  (Read 67024 times)

ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #120 on: September 09, 2007, 09:48:57 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #121 on: September 09, 2007, 10:35:51 PM »
hahaha tagam nang treasure hunter na

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #122 on: September 10, 2007, 12:17:04 PM »
Maayong adlaw kanimo doktora ug sa libolibong
tigbasa niining tulmanon, Handumanan sa Usa ka Awit,



Tawaga lang ko sa ngalan nga Disidido. Sa dili pa nako sugdan sa pagsugid ang akong sugilanon, palihug ko sa pagtugtog sa awit nga
nag-ulohan...

SINGOT SA KADLAWON.


Dugay na kami nga managkaila ni Elizabeth. Klasmeyt mi gikan sa
elementarya padulong sa kolehiyo. Ug usa ka higayon niana samtang
nagtawag ang among professor sa pangalan.....



Professor: Bilangkadayon, Elizabeth!



Elizabeth: present mam!



Nagkaguliyang ang among mga klasmeyt niatong higayona
kay tungod lagi sa apelyido ni Elizabeth. Naluoy ko ni Elizabeth
niadtong mga higayona.

Midagan siya sa gawas ug wala na mobalik. Mao to nga ako siyang
gisundan. Ug tuod man ako siyang naabtan didto sa daplin nga nagbakho.
Ug ako siyang giam-aman.


Disidido: Hilom na lang beth. Nia na bitaw ko. Dili ta bitaw ka biyaan.

Elizabeth: Unsaon man nako paghilom nga kalibangon na
man kaayo ko nya taas man kaayo ang linya sa CR!!!

Disidido: Unswa?!!!


Mao to nga nakalibang na lang si Elizabeth sa iyang panty. Ug ako lang
usa siyang gibiyaan kay pwerte man jud nga bahoa. Mura
man ug wala siya kalibang balig usa ka tuig.



Ug samtang nanglabay ang mga adlaw, gabii ug kadlawon,
nagkasuod kami ni Elizabeth. Dili na namo panumbalingon ang mga
bugalbugal sa mga tawo sa among palibot. Malipayon kaayo kaming duha
samtang magakuyog kami. Manuroy mi sa Carbon nya mamalit mi ug buwad, usahay adto sad sa Pasil kay daghan man sad ang buwad ngadto. Kada adlaw nako,iya jud kong tagaan ug regalo nga sinena, mga okay-okay, nindot pa raba kaayo. Mao to nga nahulog jud ang akong dughan kang Elizabeth.


Apan na problema lagi ko karon kay ganahan na nga magpakasal si
Elizabeth aron maluwas kuno nako ang iyang apelyido
para dili na siya bugal-bugalan. Kay ang kompleto man gud niya
nga pangalan kay, Elizabeth Bilangkadayon. Mao to nga ako unta siyang
gitambagan nga OK ra, wala ray problema ang iyang pangalan apan mo insister jud siya.


Doktora, palihug tambagi ako. Wala pa ako ka gradwar sa akong pagtungha, pareha ming duha, unsa man ang akong buhaton?
Ako lang bana siyang hiloan sa buwad nga among pinalit?






Kanimo matinahuron,

Disidido Mohabal Jr.  

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #123 on: September 10, 2007, 12:27:31 PM »
plsssssssss.   more more jokes pa bi.  pawa sa kalaay ba.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #124 on: September 11, 2007, 09:18:43 PM »
makapawa gyod sa kalaay ning mga jokes kay makabahakhak man ta katawa unya laughters is good for the health raba.

More jokes...

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #125 on: September 12, 2007, 04:31:30 AM »

ahahhahahahhaha Barbaro!!! asa naman ni si Alex oi, cge man absent.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #126 on: September 13, 2007, 03:49:57 PM »
Usa ka manag tiayon nangayo og tambag sa doctor kung unsa ang ila gamiton nga birth control"



DOCTOR: oh unsay ato Mr. og Mrs.

BANA: Nia lagi mi doc! aron magpatambag nimo kung unsa kahay amo buhaton aron muhunong na og panganak si Mises...

Doctor: Unsa kaha og atong e-ligate si Mises..

BANA: Dile ko mususgot ana doc! kay basin mag luib palang si Mises...ako nalang tingale ang operahi doc!

DOCTOR: Na ok sulod sa operating room kay ato nang pagasugdan ang operasyon...
   
Og pagkahuman sa operasyon...

DOCTOR: OK nia ang  mga tambal nga imong imnon og balik lang kamo dire sa akong clinic kung adunay mga kausaban nga imong        pamation mister!

BANA: ok doc!

Og human sa tulo ka adlaw nibalik ang managtiayon sa clinic...

DOCTOR: Oh! NAbalik man mo dire unsa man aduna bay mga kausaban???

MISES: Oh doc! daku kaayong kausaban doc! nahibong ko inig pangihe sa akong bana muisa man ang pikas tiil...

DOCTOR:  Aw natural lang kana mises kay kinatawo man sa iro ang akong gipuli sa kang Mister!!...

MISES: Pait doc! magmantiner nalang ko og kumingking ani....
 

 


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #127 on: September 13, 2007, 05:57:42 PM »
It's supposedly a joke but I bet that this will make you cry, like it did in my case.

Dear Anak,

     Naipadala ko na ang P50,000 na pang-tuition mo.  Pinagbili namin ang mga kalabaw natin.  Ang mahal pala ng Counterstrike na kurso mo.  Wala na rin pala tayong mga baboy.  Ipinagbili namin sila para sa iyong laboratory project.  Nokia N75 ba yun?  Ang mahal naman ng project mo.  Kasama na din dun ang P7,000 para sa field trip niyo sa Mall of Asia.  Malayo ba iyon, Anak?  Bakit ang mahal?  Isasangla din namin ang palayan para mabili mo na yong instrumentong I-pod.  Para saan ba yan ginagamit?  Komportable ka ba diyan sa boarding house mo?  Kung makakaluwag kami ng tatay mo bibisita kami.  Victoria's Court ba ulit iyon?  Kumusta na iyong pinagpupuyatan niyong San Mig Lights.  Napa-ilaw niyo na ba?  Mataas ba'ng mga grade mo, Anak?  Sana, bago maubos ang ating mga ari-arian, maka-graduate ka na.  Walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mo?
                                                                                    Nagmamahal,
                                                                                         Inay

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #128 on: September 13, 2007, 06:38:41 PM »


Nice try, bulak! (hey! i miss you)

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C2H4

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #129 on: September 14, 2007, 09:04:27 AM »
It's supposedly a joke but I bet that this will make you cry, like it did in my case.

Dear Anak,

     Naipadala ko na ang P50,000 na pang-tuition mo.  Pinagbili namin ang mga kalabaw natin.  Ang mahal pala ng Counterstrike na kurso mo.  Wala na rin pala tayong mga baboy.  Ipinagbili namin sila para sa iyong laboratory project.  Nokia N75 ba yun?  Ang mahal naman ng project mo.  Kasama na din dun ang P7,000 para sa field trip niyo sa Mall of Asia.  Malayo ba iyon, Anak?  Bakit ang mahal?  Isasangla din namin ang palayan para mabili mo na yong instrumentong I-pod.  Para saan ba yan ginagamit?  Komportable ka ba diyan sa boarding house mo?  Kung makakaluwag kami ng tatay mo bibisita kami.  Victoria's Court ba ulit iyon?  Kumusta na iyong pinagpupuyatan niyong San Mig Lights.  Napa-ilaw niyo na ba?  Mataas ba'ng mga grade mo, Anak?  Sana, bago maubos ang ating mga ari-arian, maka-graduate ka na.  Walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mo?
                                                                                    Nagmamahal,
                                                                                         Inay

This made me sad.  :(

Now that I make my own living and am not dependent on my parents anymore, karon nako na realize unsa kalisod gyud mangitag kuarta. Mas na appreciate na jud nako ang mga pag antos sa akong ginikanan. I cannot imagine nga ilaron sa kaugalingong anak ang iyang mga ginikanan, but I saw this happen when I was in college. Naa koy mga classmates nga ilaron lang ilang parents so they could buy the latest cool stuff or para maka gimik sila every night. Heartbreaking... :-\

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #130 on: September 14, 2007, 01:14:33 PM »
more jokes pa pls.  makalingaw jud kaajo.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #131 on: September 14, 2007, 01:31:59 PM »
10 UTOS NG PAGLALASING

1. Huwag makulit habang umiinom.

2. Huwag matakaw sa pulutan.

3. Huwag patagalin ang baso dahil may naghihintay ng tagay.

4. Huwag uminom lang ng uminom. Kailangang bumili ka rin.

5. Kapag umiinom, diretso sa tiyan, huwag sa ulo.

6. Huwag biglang mawawala sa inuman. Magpaalam kung uuwi.

7. Magtira ng panlakad kahit hinlalaki.

8. Huwag matulog habang umiinom.

9. Siguraduhing sa bahay ang uwi kapag nalasing.

10. Huwag matakot sa asawa o girlfriend.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #132 on: September 14, 2007, 01:33:10 PM »
WahaaHahaha!

Wala man ni nag apply sa imo ang #10, BarBaRo...

Joke! Musta ang dagat diha? Ga bawod gihapon?  ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #133 on: September 14, 2007, 01:39:51 PM »
wahaha astig to oi..

ok lang.. wala tahimik murag lana..

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #134 on: September 14, 2007, 01:48:49 PM »
HayaHay gyud ning manager sa barko oH!

Ga sige ra siguro ka'g #4 diha noh?



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #135 on: September 14, 2007, 05:59:41 PM »
ANDIR-DI-SAYA

Kulas:  Bay Tasyo, matod sa mga silingan andir-di-saya man kuno ka.

Tasyo:  Unsa’y andir-di-saya nga bag-o lang nakong gikasaba-an ang akong misis!

Kulas:  Ngano man?

Tasyo:  Gisugo man ko niya sa pamlantsa.  Mao nga akong gisinghagan ug “UNYA RA KAY MAGLUTO PA KO!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #136 on: September 14, 2007, 06:48:14 PM »
mao diay kay wapa gani mahuman sa usa gisundan napud lol

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #137 on: September 14, 2007, 06:57:10 PM »
wahaha ug ako cel.. bahala oroy ka mapasmo diha oi.. maghulat ka..ASTIG

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #138 on: September 14, 2007, 06:59:00 PM »
grabe pud abnah sugot ra pud ingon anaon sa asawa, dili na pud na maayo Barbs, ang insakto magtinabangay, korekek ba ako? heeh

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #139 on: September 14, 2007, 07:00:35 PM »
dili na na magsilbi karon oi..e-uli gyod nako sa gikikanan..

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #140 on: September 14, 2007, 07:15:43 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #141 on: September 14, 2007, 07:31:27 PM »
Maestra: Class, our lesson for today is Tagalog. Juan, use "ng" in a sentence. Gamitin ang salitang "ng" sa wastong pangungusap.

Juan: Maayong gabii, Nang.


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #142 on: September 14, 2007, 07:36:40 PM »
very good Juan, pasar naka, ugma adto naka sa grade 1 ahehehe

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #143 on: September 14, 2007, 08:38:48 PM »
Sa usa ka diskortal, nakigsayaw si Kulas ug gwapa. Tungod kay gwapa man kaayo iyang paris, puwerteng gakus ni Kulas.

Daga: Unsa may sulod sa imong bulsa, Dong?

Kulas: Ahhh.. .kanang, flashlight ni Day.

Daga: Nganong init man?

Kulas: Nagsiga man gud!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #144 on: September 14, 2007, 09:15:01 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #145 on: September 14, 2007, 09:28:58 PM »
GUEST to Motel Receptionist: Tagpila room ninyo diri?
RECEPTIONIST : Depende Sir, Special or Deluxe na room ?
GUEST : Unsa man kalainan ?
RECEPTIONIST : Special, naay masahista ug TV. Ang Deluxe, naay TB ang
masahista!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #146 on: September 14, 2007, 09:29:44 PM »
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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #147 on: September 14, 2007, 11:04:20 PM »
Sa usa ka diskortal, nakigsayaw si Kulas ug gwapa. Tungod kay gwapa man kaayo iyang paris, puwerteng gakus ni Kulas.

Daga: Unsa may sulod sa imong bulsa, Dong?

Kulas: Ahhh.. .kanang, flashlight ni Day.

Daga: Nganong init man?

Kulas: Nagsiga man gud!




wahahahhahaha hapit ko matuk-i sa ahong kape!!!hahahhahha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #148 on: September 14, 2007, 11:55:43 PM »
wahaha ug ako cel.. bahala oroy ka mapasmo diha oi.. maghulat ka..ASTIG

hmmmm sure ka? unya kay di man ka padugon ug ma pasmo si misis...hahahahahahahaha sugot nalang!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #149 on: September 15, 2007, 07:49:56 PM »
mura man nag ENVIRONMENTAL UG GENETIC HEREDITY

Nay unsa diay ng environmental ug unsa pud ng genetic?

imong manghod liwat sa nako ang katas-on nya ang nawong liwat ni papa nimo, mao ng GENETIC

ikaw liwat nako ang color pero liwat sa collector sa BOHECO ang nawong ug height mao ng ENVIRONMENTAL!!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #150 on: September 15, 2007, 09:49:47 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #151 on: September 16, 2007, 12:52:18 AM »
ANDIR-DI-SAYA

Kulas:  Bay Tasyo, matod sa mga silingan andir-di-saya man kuno ka.

Tasyo:  Unsa’y andir-di-saya nga bag-o lang nakong gikasaba-an ang akong misis!

Kulas:  Ngano man?

Tasyo:  Gisugo man ko niya sa pamlantsa.  Mao nga akong gisinghagan ug “UNYA RA KAY MAGLUTO PA KO!!

This is a perfect husband!  :D :D :D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #152 on: September 16, 2007, 01:36:23 AM »
bwahahhahhahhahahahhahahah

i love it! hahahhahaha

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Happy

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #153 on: September 16, 2007, 02:56:46 AM »
salamat sa explaination nay ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #154 on: September 16, 2007, 06:53:53 AM »
hmmmm sure ka? unya kay di man ka padugon ug ma pasmo si misis...hahahahahahahaha sugot nalang!
maobah..adto nalng kung mari oi..

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #155 on: September 16, 2007, 07:01:24 AM »
Bwahaha!

Hilig jud ni mangamang nis Barbaro!



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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #156 on: September 17, 2007, 05:34:36 AM »
Managti-ayon ga away !...

HUSBAND: Animal ka!
WIFE: Hayop ka!
HUSBAND: Satanas!
WIFE: p*** ka!
HUSBAND: Peste ka!
WIFE: Bwisit ka!
HUSBAND: Punyeta ka!
WIFE: Boang ka!
HUSBAND: Leche ka!
WIFE: Pisot!
HUSBAND: Ah, wa'y tinud-anay.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #157 on: September 17, 2007, 05:36:55 AM »

hehehehhehehehehe Barbs, panuhuton man sad ta ani'g katawa...12midnight na raba dire. ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #158 on: September 17, 2007, 07:39:13 AM »
laughter is the best medicine.  be happy!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #159 on: September 17, 2007, 11:26:29 AM »
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