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PrincessSaDagat

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Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« on: December 09, 2007, 12:39:47 AM »

Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
By: C. Louise Sienes
 
If you asked me years ago exactly what I thought about relationships between a Filipina and a foreigner I probably would have given a different answer. And you probably wouldn't have liked what I had to say. Now, it can be told and I must admit that, yes, once upon a time in my life, I had frowned upon such relationships and found myself thinking that I couldn't possibly get into something like that. And, if I did, I'd have to be either desperate or simply out of my mind.

Not because I had been harboring anti-foreigner feelings. It wasn't that. Race has never been an issue and never will be an issue for me. I just never entertained the possibility of getting involved with a foreigner -- much less envisioned it would happen to me. Why not? For the simple reason that I wasn't in the market for a man. I wasn't even looking, believing love would come at the right time and not something that is actively sought after or relentlessly pursued.

Of course, for someone who considers herself old-fashioned and a true-blue romantic, for me, love had to come with all the fancy trimmings -- magic in the air and the unexplainable rush of emotions running riot in the heart, sending the senses reeling. I guess, for me, love has to be an important ingredient in a relationship because I had never been the kind who would get into a relationship all for the sake of having one. There'd be no point in getting involved with someone or even marrying if not for love.

But, besides this and the fact that I'd been riding high on the wings of a dream and basically trying to carve my own career path, one of the biggest reasons why I shunned the idea of inter-racial relationships was the usual impression or public perception or even stigma attached to exotic Filipinas involved with foreign men.

And the stigma? That Filipinas involved with or marrying foreigners are only after one thing -- greener pastures in the good old US of A or any western country! Thus formed the basis for long-standing jokes about what to look for in a future partner: someone who has the "4 M factors" or Matandang Mayaman, Madaling Mamatay (Old, Rich, and Soon to die). If not that, then someone who has "CAR-acter & PESO-nality". So, why should every Filipina who has what it takes to make it in life want to become the object of such unpleasant public perception? No way, I thought. Not me. No, Sir. Not me. Never.

But life is full of surprises. More often than not, things just have a way of showing up in your life when you least expect them and the next thing you know, WHAM! You've just been hit between the eyes. Which was exactly what happened to me a few years ago. I hadn't really sworn off men then but I didn't exactly relish the thought of finding one via an online "friend-finder" club. I thought it was cheap. Forgive me, but that was how I felt THEN.

Friends thought I was too serious with life and was "all work and no play". So, after all of their efforts were met by my usual "WHEN-I'M-GOOD-AND-READY-I'LL-ASK-YOU-TO-FIND-ME-A-MAN" retort for several
torturing months, I finally surrendered in exasperation just so they'd stop pestering me about it.

To make the long story short, I found love when I wasn't looking for it, from the last place on earth I'd thought of finding it, and with someone I never dreamed I'd find it with -- a foreigner. Of course, love didn't happen right then and there but the "connection" was instant. I had only met him and yet it felt as though I'd known him all my life. It was as if I'd been created for him, and he, for me and we were two souls fated to meet. It was...... destiny.

Then came the nagging thought of what people would say about "my destiny". What would my family say? What would my friends and colleagues think? That I was so desperate for a man I had resorted to acquiring one through the internet? That I was no different from those who went for relationships or marriages of convenience?

But then I reminded myself that I already knew what the common perception was on exotic Filipina-foreigner dating even before I met my foreign boyfriend and so, no matter if I had no other reasons for getting involved with him other than that I truly loved him, the world would still choose to believe the worst. I told myself that as long as I'm happy and my conscience is clear, the whole world can believe whatever they want. I couldn't care less.
 
Source:  Yehey.com
 
 
 
 

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C2H4

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Re: Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2007, 02:27:38 AM »
Korek!
If you're going through hell...keep on going...

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willmerit

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Re: Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2007, 02:30:29 AM »
very well said!

B:)

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Comment: Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2008, 04:11:30 PM »
Wait, PrincessaDagat, did you just write about my story? hehehehehe  :) joke!. Most of your story happened to me too. I actually had a fight with one of my friends in childhood arguing that never in my wildest dream marry a man from foreign land.
It was one of my bestfriend who introduced us when my husband was on vacation in Bohol and I was in Manila at that time. He went to Manila  and there we met, like you said, happened in the least expected because at that time I was about to leave to work abroad but like you said the connection was magic, that's all I can say. It truly was our destiny.

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Comment: Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2008, 04:32:59 PM »
You are all correct!

When I saw in the subject line the word exotic, something happend to me before came to my mind instantly.  It may be OT so sorry gurls! 

Way back when I was still working in Cagayan de oro, I was all lanky and dark-skinned (it didn't bother me at all but karon na puti-puti gamay kay na inat na sa katambok), lots of pimple scars and all!  Then came a German national who wanted to access the bank at that time to become the Senior President.  It was rumored that that guy was infatuated by my beauty (or the lack of it?!?).  My lady boss, upon hearing this rumor, kind of mocked it.  I can still remember she was in her office with another lady bank officer.  She told me in a very tactless way, which she was known of, "Eto talagang mga foreigners, mahilig sa pangit!"  The other lady officer said, "Grabeh ka naman makasalita!"  Then my lady boss corrected herself, she said, "what I meant was, mahilig sila sa mga EXOTIC ba!".  Well, well, well, to be honest, it really didn't hurt me a bit.  I was settled already with my beauty that I didn't care what they say!
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
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ligiah

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« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2008, 04:45:50 PM »
I admit that this article hit me too. I have never imagined the prospect of dating a foreigner 4 months ago... for the same reasons stated. It was also more like I was afraid of the impressions of other Pinoys toward me... the 'greener pasture' thing especially. And I really had this thought that online dating forums were cheap.

But then, that was 4 months ago. Now, I don´t care anymore because in the long run, the impressions of others don´t matter anymore. It is the strength of your relationship that counts and that´s it... This is my life and I am living it, and I know that what the others are thinking is completely wrong and that´s enough.
I'm gonna take my cross and carry it... heck! I'm even gonna dance while i'm doing it!

John

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« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2008, 05:24:55 PM »
Our future / love and money are the perfect combination ( parang packaged ba ) ha ha ha.

swakee

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« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2008, 04:22:22 AM »
no matter what... security first! ahahahaha...
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss & ends with tears...

ligiah

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« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2008, 04:23:54 AM »

korek!

Happy

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« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2008, 04:34:07 AM »
When I was a teenager, of course I didn't dream to marry a foreigner. But when I started to work, few of my friends have penpals, wala pa uso ang online dating adto. Still it did not convince me to marry a foreigner. But when my cousin and friend married an american, in the same year 2002, na encourage pud ko. Pero niingon ko nga kung magminyo man gani ko foreigner, I want to marry the man because of love. Dili lang kay ako ang nahigugma niya, kana jud kaming duha ang magkahinigugmaay, para angay angay jud.
"There's no perfect life, but we can let God fill it with perfect moments"

swakee

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« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2008, 04:39:11 AM »
i agree with you Happy... nakabasa kos blogs ni C2 nga niingon: The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you found... thanks C2, ni-agree na jud finally ang akong banana... ahehehe...

swakee

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« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2008, 04:43:01 AM »
Ligiah, i-secured ang "love" first right? ahahahaha...

ligiah

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« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2008, 04:49:53 AM »
yes... of all things... Love is the most important thing in a relationship... all the others will come once love is present....

Happy

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« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2008, 04:53:43 AM »

agree pud ko ani :)

C2H4

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« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2008, 10:08:43 AM »

Yehey! Hehehe, unsa imong gipa inom ni DD nga ning agree man nimo?

Ahahaha! Congrats swaks! May you win the next battle, and the next, and the next...

 ;D

ms da binsi

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« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2008, 10:48:59 AM »







I agree with this too....

I was in very much in love with my husband at first and i know it was not the real love kay lust ra gyud to together with some fantasy...Advantage tiguwang na ko nakakita nija so i know and can differentiate the true feeling compared to jsut kurog2x...kurog gradually fades... but learning to love the real love according to C2's blog is really very essential!

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swakee

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« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2008, 10:59:30 AM »
Korek jud Dabinsi... our experience says it all...

C2, ako lang gipabalik-balik niyag basa...

ms da binsi

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« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2008, 11:03:00 AM »
unsa man to reminder?

hahahahhahha

swak kanus a man ka mo ari dapita?

John

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« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2008, 12:29:10 PM »
nindot unta ni nga tread, pero lisod pag comment makakita ka ug dibati nga dalang away ha ha ha .

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Comment: Exotic Filipina's point of view: Relationship with a Foreigner
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2008, 01:42:00 PM »
Why marry a foreigner when your own guys are more romantic and better at dancing (on average)?
If you do want to, then the best way is to become an OFW.  Go to the country of your preference, and pick from a wide choice of bananas!



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