You are married to a man who cannot reciprocate your profound love. A man who doesn’t even know what love is and worst of all, you found out that he has an extra marital affair. You showered him with all the material things more than he can ever imagine compensating the lack of physical intimacies brought about by your physical absence being thousands of miles away. But after all it is said and done still he didn’t mend his ways. Suddenly, you found a new love in the arms of someone else’s man. In short, an affection from a married man. He makes you feel ‘being wanted’ and you feel important as if you are always at the center of his attention. Something you never felt before and now you’re asking--is it all worth to give yourself a chance to make yourself happy? This is the scenario painted in one of the threads posted by a married woman which I have read and replied from a social networking site.
LOVE'S YARDSTICK
Love is not and cannot be measured by the number of "I love you" or number of SUV’s or neither by the number of tears you shed in the name of love. Material things cannot and will never provide an assurance that love invested in that kind of relationship will last a lifetime. Worse, the more he/she (person on the receiving end of such frivolous attention) will feel that whatever is consummated between the two of you is nothing but superficial. The connection that binds between couple cannot be established by material things or calls of endearment but on how either partners or both makes the relationship evolves into the next level until it reaches certain level of maturity. This maturity depends on many factors like upbringings or experiences we may have seen or witnessed from our parents. The kind of relationship that we have seen from our parents greatly influenced our emotional maturity and outlook with regards to our marriage relationship. The number of years that a couple has been married can never be the sole yardstick in measuring relationship maturity but by the ability of one or both to make their marriage work come hell or high water.
LOVE IS NOT ONLY A FEELING BUT A DECISION
As I always said in most articles that I have written, love is not only a feeling but a decision. We should consider redefining love more than just on the premise of feelings but that of an action. As love translated from a “noun†to “verb†will spell the difference between making and breaking it. An action that will lead one or both to a certain decision whether to fall out or to remain in love to the same person over and over again is a decision that only and for yours to make.
MISTAKE CAN NEVER BE CORRECTED BY ANOTHER MISTAKE
whilst it is given that your partner has wronged you and hurt you that much to the point that you want him to feel how is it like to be hurt. Whether this newly found love appears as your saving grace, it is something like a double-edge blade ready to slice your heart anytime. And the sad part of it, by being the other woman yourself, you become exactly the person you dreaded once in your life resulting to two family lives shattered into bits and pieces, yours and the family of that married man.
Right love at the wrong time is still wrong and no amount of justification can correct a love that is wrong from the beginning lest you really wanted to be home wrecker. The truth is, true love means, albeit of its imperfections is never meant to hurt others for it never finds joy in someone else’s failure.
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