To circumcise or not to circumcise: What a controversy! (NSFW)By Jenna!
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A week ago a friend of mine whom I haven't spoken to in several months called to ask if we could get together for lunch. She used to live down the street from me and was always a great friend, so I was anxious to see her. We made an appointment and I've been looking forward to it all week.
When I saw her at the restaurant I was very surprised to see that she was pregnant. "Congratulations," I said while giving her a big hug. "You're going to be a great mom!" She said thanks, then we found our way to the table and started catching up as we waited for our food.
My friend, who I'll call Jessica for anonymity's sake, didn't seem very happy. This was her first child, so I said "Don't worry, no one knows what they're doing in the beginning. You just wing it and pretty soon you surprise yourself at how good of a mom you can be. You'll be a great mom!"
"Not according to Rick," she said. I was a little taken aback; her husband is a nice, decent guy. "What do you mean?"
She went on to tell me that she wants her son to have a circumcision, while Rick doesn't. "He actually told me that I'd be mutilating our baby. We argued about it a lot over the past few weeks. I've tried sending him information about the procedure. He says he knows all about it, he just doesn't want it done and doesn't want to talk about it."
No wonder she was distraught!
Our food arrived, which was good because there was an awkward silence as I thought about what she said. Then I just rapidly blurted out the questions on my mind, "So I take it he wears a turtleneck?" Yes. "He likes it?" Yes. "You don't like it?" No. "Wow. Have you told him that?" Of course not.
Now the dilemma was clear. How does she stand her ground without telling her husband that she doesn't like his penis?
Rick was a hunk. I of course didn't share this with Jessica, but I had often fantasized about getting into his pants. I consider myself pretty open-minded, and I've had men of the turtleneck and sans-turtleneck variety, but I had to admit to myself that I was a little taken aback.
I must have had a perplexed look on my face, because Jessica asked me what I thought. "I basically agree with you. I've had both types, but I don't prefer turtlenecks." She looked a little relieved.
I think circumcision is a very personal and private decision, and I understand how it can very seriously put couples at odds with one another. What I never considered is that women tend to be in an even tougher situation than their husbands, because they can't really explain their reasons without offending or hurting their husbands. Thankfully Jake and I were always in agreement on the subject.
Jessica went on to explain all her reasons, which basically meshed with my own. "I think most women would agree with you," I said. For me, it's mostly a cleanliness issue. There is no doubt that men can keep the area well-washed, but I always wondered in the back of my mind how clean it can be by the end of the day, or after having sex. I've had a couple boyfriends who were uncircumcised. They were both very clean, but I did occasionally encounter bad smells and tastes while fellating them. I also prefer the look of the circumsized man. My son is circumcised; I just think that he will fit in better with the kids he grows up with, and based on my preference, I think he'll be a little more attractive to the ladies as well.
I don't know for sure what women prefer in general, so I just created this poll to find out:
POLL: Do you prefer a circumcised or uncircumcised penis
In the 1970's, 91% of men were circumcised. That's quite a bit lower now, but most studies still put the number at over 50% despite the large Latino-American population which generally has a very low rate of circumcision.
There are many pros and cons regarding circumcision but I was surprised to learn that were were so many benefits. I had always heard that cleanliness and risk-susceptibility was no longer an issue with uncircumcised men. If the Wikipedia article above is accurate (and you should always take even scientific studies with a grain of salt), circumcised boys are much less at-risk for a variety of situations.
CONS of Circumcision: * Religious implications.
* Ethics/Right-to-Choose implications.
* Possibilities of complications (bleeding, infection, etc.).
* Pain during and after the procedure.
* Some people claim sensation can be reduced because the foreskin contains lots of nerve endings.
(Jake says no way, if he had any more pleasure he'd go into a coma every time someone touched him!)
PROS of Circumcision: * Circumcised men tend to have fewer sexual dysfunctions and a more varied sex life (more likely to have oral, anal sex).
* They tend to be less susceptible to the HIV and HPV viruses, leading to fewer cases of AIDS and Penile Cancer.
* They tend to have fewer inflammations and infections of the foreskin and glans.
* Some women tend to prefer the smoother gliding action of a circumcised penis.
* Circumcised men tend to have less difficulty keeping a condom on due to the reduced sliding of the foreskin.
* If circumcision is common locally, the circumcised male will fit in better (the corollary is also true).
I didn't know all this today, so I wasn't much help to Jessica. I just told her that she should research it more, try to find a better way to explain her thoughts, to be open (but sensitive) to her husband, maybe find a women's poll like the one I created above, and finally to just drop it if Rick isn't interested in discussing it. It's probably not worth getting into a lifelong fight over!
-Jenna
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