MikeLigalig.com

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Quote from: BolBuhol on October 18, 2010, 06:01:15 PM
indi ako magatoo ani gid bla walis gid ang asawa ko man ako gid ang manog too

women sina ang writer blah...amo nga lalaki gid ang aktor.

Chilling lang ko, hayyy...kadali sa oras, mag-drive na sad ko pabalik.

Dili tanan nga mabuak bildo og makasamad.

Wife washing her clothes.

Husband: Honey here are some powder add that to your laundry.
Wife: What is that?
Husband: Body shrinker...

3 days later, husband washing his underwears.

Wife: Honey here are some powder add that to your laundry.
Husband: What is that?
Wife: Miracle grower...

fried eggs with wheat toast

Subong Ilonggo sa karon, buwas Ilonggo sa ugma.

Love is a four letter word that makes the world go round.

Quote from: islander on October 18, 2010, 02:36:59 AM
dili tanang hubag, moboto.

Dili tanan moboto muhubag.

Quote from: Koddi Prudente on October 18, 2010, 12:59:39 AM
Tita Lacea Cayme was from Catigbian. We were college freshmen in June 1976 at the then Visayas State College of Agriculture, now Visayas State University, in Baybay, Leyte. She was a Cocofed scholar while I was an academic scholar. From third year to fourth year we were classmates in all subjects because we took the same course (BS in Agriculture), same major (Plant Protection, and same specialiozation (Entomology). She graduated in 1980 while I had one year more because of a delayed thesis.

I have been looking for Titskee for so many years now. The last time I heard from her was in the late 1990s when she requested me to edit a research manuscript. She took her Master of Science in Farming Systems in Chiang Mai University and not at Asian Institute of Technology (Both schools are in Thailand). After that, nothing. I have been wishing all the time that she reconnect with me. I was particularly very close to her not only because we belonged to the same batch, course and major, but because we banded together with the other Boholano students in ViSCA at the time when we were the butt of jokes ... of course not anymore today. With her around, it was all sunshine. I got the surprise of my life when she surfaced in Facebook a few weeks ago posting all our old photos that sort of reunited all of us batchmates in one discussion group. She was still in her funniest elements. Only to bid adieu in the most horrible way. It's as if she already knew she would be gone and had to say her last goodbyes to all of us she missed so much. I am in deep sorrow. Goodbye friend. She would always call me Toots and I would call her Teats, and we would laugh until our eyes welled with tears.

\
This made me cry...

Kanya-kanya papel gyud ang kinabuhi sa tawo. Poor kids they cannot live with the trauma.

Quote from: Scarb on October 17, 2010, 10:31:06 PM
I hereby acknowledge that upon issuing the invoice,
  W/holding tax and accumulated interest..- >way far not included.."stamped".,-awooh..!

Ala TBN diay ang dating nako ani..ASUS...

Quote from: islander on October 17, 2010, 10:47:31 PM
panibsib ayaw sa mga opaw.

Opaw misinaw naigo sa adlaw sa ugtong tutok.

Quote from: islander on October 17, 2010, 10:53:35 PM
dili tanang ga-thong, si vhinz; mahimo sad nga si bugsay.

Hehehheehhe

Quote from: Scarb on October 17, 2010, 09:46:17 PM
ajehehe utang lipay, bayad likay?

Pahilak-hilak karon akoy gahilak paningil...Arghhhhhhhh...

Quote from: bugsay on October 17, 2010, 09:37:38 PM
ahhh, ngisi man.....taas taas ang nap karong adlawa....muztamos si banana republic ug si miming nga naay itoy?

Bugs makabuhi gyud kag patay...

Mogamit pa gihapon...

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:34:20 PM
He he, correct. Sometimes, we think it's the thing, but in fact it's only the thong... 

You always got something on something. Sama sa dili tanan ga-thong flat, naa say ga-thong nga talinis.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:30:45 PM
He he, well, daghang bayang klase sa iro... 

Sigben di ba iro man sad na nga gatuwad.

I think of you today, puede ba bayari imong utang...

Quote from: luckybelle on October 16, 2010, 02:21:43 PM
Vito ni with Nurse LB

Hahhahah that reminds me of "butt enhancement" ads.

You cannot face your problem if the problem is your face.
(expression sa mga bugoy)

Quote from: Scarb on October 17, 2010, 09:20:39 PM
tyahahaha awooh bizan fox diay to?

Posible sad...what it seems is not always the thing. LOL!

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 17, 2010, 02:21:53 AM
"If enduring pain, braving shame, despising one's self for the sake of affection and accepting misery without question is the definition of love - then, I LOVE YOU."

A good one...I can't do that though, not anymore.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:18:06 PM
Bwahaha! OK, pero naay wolf nga hubag, di ba? 

Hubag og utok kay mi-believe siya nga siya iro. Hehehehhe

Bahama mama hotdog.

Still here in TB killing my time before going to church at 1030, then will do oil change of my Buick and while waiting, go to the gym. In the afternoon I will head to the beach and spend the night at St. Petersburg.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:06:35 PM
Dili tanang wolf mokuyog sa pack... 

Hehehehhe, kit-an na sad ko nimo.

Dili tanang hubag mobotoy og ganana..How about that?

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:03:28 PM
Hmm. Does this apply to non-human creatures as well? 

Hmmmm, as in?

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 17, 2010, 09:01:47 PM
Hmm. It appears that somebody here in TB is suffering fron this. Mistel Mugtay, please speak up! 

I don't mean to hit someone with that. I just thought it is a nice word to know.

Dili tanang preso kriminal.

1.  attention whore
Label given to any person who craves attention to such an extent that they will do anything to receive it. The type of attention (negative or positive) does not matter.

2. airplane mode
When someone cuts themselves off from the world by not logging on to Facebook or checking their cell phones. Usually occurs after a breakup or a rough work week. Derived from the cell phone setting of the same name in which incoming messages or phone calls cannot be received.

3. hobosexual
The opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for one's own appearance.

4. mid-day crisis
When one is in a desperate need for a siesta because they become extremely tired in the afternoon and coffee isn't cutting it any longer.

5. quid pro quo
Latin-"This for that"

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that is Love

chiken popcorn

Sad because someone I trusted so much betrayed me.

What is marriage?
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 13, 2010, 12:49:44 PM
Joke Time...

Si Maria usa ka dalagang ulay nga naminyo ra jud. Ang iyang katalirongan, nga iya ra pung mga silingan, nahipugwat sa tungang gabii sa honeymoon night ni Maria kay nangabli sa bintana ang new bride ug nagsinggit-singgit sa kalagot.

Nagkanayon si Maria, "Peste ngyawa mo! Dimongkog, lamon, mga dawo mong dagko! Bikog, kolera, atay! Kadugay na ninyong nangaminyo mga tabaghaka mo, wa jud mo magpahibawo nako nga perting lamia man diay ni!"

Part 2: Pero bata pa si Maria gusto na gyud niya og lalaki, mao nga sige siyag ampo:

Edad 18:  God give me the perfect man. Answer wala.
Edad 25:  God give me my ideal man: Answer wala
Edad 39: God just give me any man. Answer wala.
Edad 49: God maskin unsa na lang basta lalaki. Answer wala
Edad  59: Sos kalisod ba mangayo og lalaki, sige na lang Lord give me any animal

Toink!

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
(Buddha)

Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...

(Love quote from the movie Sleepless in Seattle)

Many reasons: Some are really broken hearted, some by choice, some laksot wala gyud napandol, some in the process of relationship wala gahelmet mao nga nauntog ang ulo miatras.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 13, 2010, 09:31:29 AM
Naa tingali dagon nis Ondoy...

Ngekkk....Mao nay nawong nga klarong gikumot sa agta.

I love Football: a die hard fan of Florida State and Tampa Buccaneers
I love Basketball: Lakers here and taga barangay Ginebra.

What"s yours?

7 Simple Stress Reducers

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 13, 2010, 09:49:55 AM
Gubot pas lukot ang panabot sa gisapot labi na kon misugot bisan wa kaibot sa buot ipaibot. 

OT: Mao ni tinuod nga gubot.

Ipaibot na lang maskin makasapot, sagdi na lang better luck next time.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 13, 2010, 07:46:40 AM
Golf maoy usa ka duwa nga sayon tan-awon pero lisod buhaton.

Buhaton na lang maskin makasapot para walay gubot.

Quote from: Scarb on October 13, 2010, 02:28:09 AM
Dagat..oh..,ocean deep.., is my LoVe 

Love will keep us alive..The Eagles

Amen gihapon ko.

Quote from: bugsay on October 12, 2010, 11:37:33 PM
“One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed”

maajong gabii ninjo tanan!!

That is true. I just posted a Note on my Facebook that says"

" I have no room for hatred and anger. I have forgiven those that did me wrong as I have forgiven myself for letting them.'

I found peace thereafter.

nag-muri-muri, drama og ginagmay
spices kuno sa kinabuhi

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 12, 2010, 08:31:27 PM
He he, kini kay sayon sabton...

Da katilaw hinuon sila sa algebraic expression ni hubs og resibo!

That is true. Para nako dili dapat magregret si Manoy...

In fact from moralist's point of view. Immoral ang gihimo ni Manoy eh, he lured a poor young girl from the barrio in exchange for sex and taking care of him. He used his money to exploit the vulnerabilites of this young woman, whose only dream is to get out of poverty and maybe to help her family.

@tigbao: Tama gyud ka...mao gani nga

Dang... (na lang akong comment aron dile na motaas).

Quote from: Lorenzo on October 11, 2010, 11:08:10 PM
hehehe mao lagi, luuy pood si manoy...

Mao gani basta mahilig gyud kay Daisy.. ( sais,siete, otso, nuebe), unsa man diay? Mao gyud na mahitabo.

Christmas is around the corner. How about giving love to your barrio on Xmas?

I just want to share a project that I am doing in my barangay during Xmas season. My family conducts a Xmas party for kids, give gifts and parlor games. In Upper dela Paz, more than 50% of the families are really very poor. That means, the kids don’t know the difference of Xmas from other time of the year. So I introduced the spirit of Xmas to these poor kids and let them feel that Xmas is not only for the rich but for everybody. This is one of the most awaited events of the kids in my barangay.

I know cujo doing that in Bilar, in fact I copied that concept from her.

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 11, 2010, 08:07:30 PM
one of few movies nga dli ka magsawa mutan-aw

True...

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 11, 2010, 08:10:34 PM
Life is Like a Box of Chocolates....

...and you don't know what you are getting.

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 11, 2010, 08:13:23 PM
mao nga mingdaog og best picture sa Oscar... although mas ganahan ko sa The Blind Side ...........

L like the Blind Side too.. the story is really very touching and some funny touches.

Run Forest Run...

Ohhhh.. that is a classic. Foster and Hopkins both my A" stars.

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 11, 2010, 12:01:15 PM
the hurt locker - 视é¢' - 优é...·è§†é¢' - 在线è§,看

Awesome movie.. I love it.

Quote from: jorgeanna on October 11, 2010, 07:44:43 PM
æˆ'为玛丽ç‹, There's Something About Mary（1998） - 视é¢' - 优é...·è§†é¢' - 在线è§,看

I love this movie

I still do both..

Can we trust the justice system not sending an innocent person to the death chamber? I doubt it...

Quote from: bol-anon nga cebuano on October 11, 2010, 04:59:11 AM
my first degree cousin married a nurse who is claveria, masbate in burias island. the family of the woman happens to the local political kingpin in their area.

there 2 prominent families that kill each other during elections. family k and family e.

Naa pod koy pamilya sa Claveria..

Quote from: cheers on October 11, 2010, 08:08:43 AM
Well, alright you have the right to deny to the maximum point about the issues that BIR is not after of the receipts because they were not told that HE is the one holding the money / collections... And that should be done by the Anchorman to see personally the BOD officials ALWAYS... Why just now??? Why not during the meetings especially when scheduled for monthly meetings?  And perhaps if HE would not see the concerned officials it would be  thousands who would be inquiring why HE will not communicate with the people whom HE organzed and after organizing saying THE GROUP HAS NO RIGHT TO QUESTION THE MONEY HE HAS RECEIVED.... ////  WHY DID HE NOT APPEARED TO THE MEETING WHEN CALLED UP AND INFORM SOME MEMBERS NOT TO ATTEND IF THE SECRETARY WILL NOT RESIGN SINCE/// Atty. Barbarona said there are fines to be imposed and you heard it..... WHY??? You are blaming the secretary of being irresponsible!!!! You did not know that last year the Secretary is always jotting down all the transactions and when there was a discrepancy and the Secretary questioned the Anchorman was angry??? If you could also remember there were minutes that I have read that the Anchorman said the group has no right to raise funds?? WHY? Is he afraid that the group could raise more funds and he could not anymore hold the money? THE OBJECTIVE OF THE GROUP IF GENERATING FUNDS FOR DONATIONS.... WHY WAS HE AGAINST OF THAT AND HE WAS NOT AGAINST COLLECTING MONEY online without the permission of the BOD officials concerned... Who will pay the fines that if it not of THE ANCHORMAN who is against the issuance of receipts there will be no fines imposed..... HE must have to clear up so that HE will not be questioned by thousand people...  MORA SIYA UG NAKAMINOS SA MGA OFFICIALS...  AJAW NA PALABI JAMA-JAMA ilabi nang iapil pa gyud nimo nang mga politiko nga wanay labot...

Dang...

Just an old Tagalog movie that was played in TFC thousand times already.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 11, 2010, 07:11:40 PM
He he, mahulog diay sa If you cannot have what you like, just like what you have. Yataps. 

Heheheheh, I think so, to add: Make the best out of it.

Junk tawon too tired to cook last night:
Donut with decaf coffee

Quote from: hubag bohol on September 14, 2010, 12:55:45 PM
He he, balik ta ani ngano angay ang sex before marriage... 

Matod nila basin dili mosibo ? No Exchange No Return Policy "man kuno na.

Luoy pero, he deserved it. Kahibalo na siya mao na mahitabo.

Because you are good people will treat you right is like saying; because you are vegetarian you will expect the bull not to charge you....
(chgeiger)

Am anxious waiting for the Pet Shelter to get back with me about adopting this Chihuahua. His name is Copper. I can't wait to have him.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 06:26:26 PM
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. --Neil Gaiman

Time is the only tool for recovery...There is no shortcut, long process or whatever, it is only through time that wounds heal and the pains faded.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 08:43:08 PM
He he...

OMG! bahala og bayran ko ani, dili gyud ko motabok.

brown rice and chicken

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 09:07:37 AM
Mao nga sa dili pa gani masuod, pangulitawhan dayon. 

Tama ka hubs...

Ahhh still working, 6 days in a row...

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 03:23:36 PM
Mangi-ob ang kagabhion ug dulom ang kalangitan sa gabiing gibiyaan mo ako ug mikuyog ka sa usa ka mapasiatabong lampingasan nga sa tanan kong ginsakpan mao ray nakaako pagpanamastamas sa halangdon kong katungdanan. 

Katungdanan man kaha ni Adan og Eva i-multiply ang katawhan, karon gagubot na ang kalibutan kay gusto na pod og pupulation control.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 03:45:44 PM
Bitaw, kinahanglan andam ang baga nga nawong para sa bali-bali nga sagpa... 

Eksakto.

Quote from: luckybelle on October 10, 2010, 07:02:04 AM
Mao bitaw, ang ija dagway pwede villain pwede pud bida. Naa sija daghan role sa "Maalaala Mo Kaya" nga sija ang bida. Sus, pag-best actress jud.

I like Jean Garcia too...

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 06:47:57 AM
Final check...

Gasud-ong ani nga talan-awon...

Maunhan og ulaw labi na gyud og suod kaayo.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 07:39:10 AM
He he, kon way kadepositohan, ipangwilik lang sa bungbong. Pangayo lag tabi aron di ka mabuyagan. 

Lisod na kay basin 5 years down the road naay engkanto mo-claim og paternity rights. Wa ta kahabilo asa nakamontar ang ilang deposit box, ma-shoot unya.

Simple lang:
1. Baga imong bulsa
2. Lig-on imong dughan
3. Gamitan og armas de kutsilyo

Quote from: Vito Andoline on October 09, 2010, 10:41:38 PM
rak rakan

Awww... mahitabo gyud nga rak-rakan sa asawang bungangera kung di magtarong.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 10, 2010, 08:01:50 AM
Bitaw pud. Kanus-a pa gud intawon mausab nga maapil sa tulis si Lola... 

Gusto pod intawon ni Lola nga moambit og grasya maskin pinugos..

Quote from: luckybelle on October 10, 2010, 06:11:14 AM
Gamayng bata si Jesus didto sa pasungan natulog.

Natulog akong lawas sa sobrang trabaho apan gamata akong utok.

Wow, very impressive subject.

Quote from: taga tigbao on October 10, 2010, 02:14:34 AM
Always Miga Wolfie.

UR welcome!

I am a member of Alpha Phi Omega.

Quote from: taga tigbao on October 10, 2010, 02:09:41 AM
Made a covenant with my 3G to pray for our relationship everyday para malig on ug daghang blessings.

Good Luck...relationship needs prayer.

Quote from: chicogon on October 09, 2010, 12:20:36 AM
The Vietnamese have some stories to tell - incredible ones - and I'm glad many of them made it to freedomland. And even more fortunately Vietnam is now open for tourists and expatriates to visit!!! Di magdugay mabiyaan napod tas Vietnam in terms of economic progress. O nabiyaan na ba? Hehehehe 

Nabiyaan na! Way back in 1994 when I was there, I observed that Vietnam's economy is getting stronger.

Quote from: mistyeyed on October 08, 2010, 03:05:26 PM
Re: BAKIT NAGSISINUNGALING ANG MGA LALAKI.. .

Because they are weak..They are afraid to tell the truth..because they are afraid of losing someone.In short ma pride.

That is true, men cannot handle the truth.

Uso ang tulis sa Datu Paglas, Maguindanao. Ang mga jeep tulison og -irape ang mga babaye.

Tulisan 1 :  Tanang Babaye dire sa wala, lalaki sa tuo
(Sunod tanang babaye, kurog pa)
Tulisan 2: Oh ikaw Lola wala na kay labot dito ka sa tuo
Lola:      Wala ka kadungog, tanang baje kuno sa wala. 

Love is a state of the mind, but it makes yur mind not working when it hits you.

Working on a week-end...

Quote from: bugsay on October 10, 2010, 12:19:49 AM
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Moral lesson: Don't underestimate the intelligence of your woman LOL!

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 09, 2010, 10:41:39 PM
Breaking rules is important but, needless to say, one should first know what the rules are. Some people think they are breaking the rules when they are actually misreading them.

That is true, oftentimes we miss the prints.

Quote from: hubag bohol on October 09, 2010, 10:30:54 PM
Taas tingali ang probability, pero naa tingali gihapon ang element of luck?

Scientific man tan-aw nako..pero taas imong pisi kay usahay moabot 8x nga mapilde ka..kada pilde times 2 ang taya. Duha ra man Banker or Player...

Quote from: Vito Andoline on October 09, 2010, 10:24:24 PM
hahahaha.ang pilipino naay tawag sad ani

unsa man?