MikeLigalig.com

That works! I will edit it. Thanks!

we almost got married. in the relationship portion in tubag bohol, I refer to him as 'J'. feel free to read and i can tell you the stories you go along.

Thank you. He is in germany now but we are getting married in april

Salamat.

I have been touched in many ways
by what some may consider many men
Yet I have never encountered a touch as tender as yours.
Your touch has the sincerity of a child
I can feel the youth in your fingers as you tremble across my body
Un-taint me with your faith in love, in hope, in us.

Before we confront the world,
I ask that you close their eyes before I enter the room
Perhaps they may catch a glimpse of what you see
And I will feel beautiful. You make me feel beautiful
Simply by holding my hand.

You have to consider, my post was obtained from a military based website for soldiers. That means that it is sugar coated to inspire the troops, not necessarily educate them. The USAF is fond of using euphimisms to soften the blow. In a way, it is effective. In traumatic situations such as war, one needs as much shelter as one can get. Even if it is calling a war anything but a war.

Lorenzo,

Just to let you know, I am far from a historian. I just love stories. I would like to thank you for all the input that you provided! Unfortunately, it is hard to come across material that isn't superficial. I have to admit that I can be lazy and most of what I know comes form people like you who actually put the time into the research. I admire your passion.

Quote from: hippieinchains on June 25, 2008, 12:45:52 PM
(D's Blog)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Huge f***ing smile


Finally, putting the pieces together. Things finally feel right.

Panama thanks you for waking it up.

snap!

A beautiful picture.

I'm so glad that he didn't give up on me.

(an excerpt from an email)

Mar 17, 2008 2:08 AM
Ian:

i love you des, but, im not going to be the one that is the fulcrum for you to start/stop something.

no more indecisiveness, its time you take the bull by the horns and go, "this is how it's going to be."

you know what you want more than anyone else. close your eyes and see where you go.


Date:
Mar 17, 2008 7:07 AM

Subject: ps

Body: but we both know it should be me.

Ian:

What annoys me is that you just don't throw caution to the wind. 
What's the point of living if you don't take a risk, grab it by the 
hair and do something that can fundamentally change everything. If it 
didn't work, it didn't work. If it did work, it'd work.

I've been trying all night how to word a response to this without 
sounding pissed off, and I can't. So I'll leave it at that.

I agreed to visit him for frienship's sake.

April 08 (Ian):

Hey girl,
I have been thinking, and I have figured out something. My goal while 
you are with me. It is a doozy, well I tend to think so. But I'll keep 
it a secret for now.
I know when we were together I felt like I couldn't live without you. 
I don't know of you felt the same way, but it was a nice feeling. You 
know?
I dunno.
I don't wanna get spoiled with you here. I might have to try extra 
hard to convince you to be with me. :-p
So you are going to have to be careful. We both know how I can get. ;-)
That is unless you have something up your sleeve. Then I'd have to be 
careful of you. ;-) haha.
Silly.
Now were driving to get some chicken and I'm try to stall a little bit 
as so I can think of something to write. So hard to type on this thing 
while riding to Volgeway. Stupid roads.
Anyways.
I hope your school is going well, I'm gonna go now. I can't think of 
anything else to write, hope I didn't scare you too much with my 
romantic ramblings.

April 08
When was the last time you felt something real? I want an honest answer.

I need to feel something real.

D:
On Apr 16, 2008, at 6:03 PM, desserin custodio wrote:

cant remember which address and phone number i used for s***. i get out of work in about 30 minutes. can you stay logged on to yahoo messenger? i need an itenerary for work so my leave will be approved. i made a fake one so that my leave form will be signed but that still doesnt change the fact that i cant purchase a ticket online or over the phone.i can wire the money to you or have it put in your bank account if you wish. what ever works for you.


On Apr 16, 2008, at 10:08 PM, virgin_sand@yahoo.com wrote:

> I try to listen to signs and things aren't looking like they should 
> if I was meant to see you. I tried ian but for some reason, there 
> has been something blocking my road to you. Fate perhaps. I'm sorry 
> I didn't call. - took down the wrong number. Sounds just like me, 
> don't it? So I thought for the rest of the evening and just as much 
> as I'd like a vacation, I think that now isn't the time. I'm sorry 
> to be me again ian. I feel horrible. I hope that you won't stop 
> being my friend though. I really do care about you. Thank you and 
> ill love you always.
>
> D

From: Hippie in Chains
Date: Jun 23, 2008 9:54 AM


i was thinking about us today.
wow.
i love who we have become.

From: Ian
Date: Jun 17, 2008 6:59 AM

Ramblings make sense, sometimes you have to piece it all together. :-p

I can try and make you feel safe. I'll hold you in my arms and let you nap the hours away and make sure you don't go anywhere. You're an amazing person and I'll be damned if I let you get away.

We'll have a house, a family, and love.

(D's Blog)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Huge f***ing smile


Finally, putting the pieces together. Things finally feel right.

The last love died way before the bottle of Captain Morgan did, but I had a secret stash. I think i kept it secret even from myself. Good thing it was visible enough for me to remember that I did have something good to look forward to. Things are falling into place.

Panama thanks you for waking it up.

Huge f***** smile.

snap!

A beautiful picture.


3:56 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove



Saturday, June 07, 2008

limbo


so this is limbo.

i feel like i am in a time capsule waiting for my prince to save me. fortunately, time capsules in the 21st century are fully equiped with hi-speed internet, i-tunes and lime wire. IM temporarily helps with lonliness, but my skin still longs to be touched and i long to smell the scent of a man next to me as i am wrapped in the warmth of his arms. hurry up and save me and we can watch silly youtube videos together until i fall asleep. i miss your voice. i miss you telling me that everything will be ok and i miss believing you. life is one day at a time in limbo. I am wasting away without you. and no matter how I try to sleep it away, i still wake up cold and alone. hurry up and get me.

I found this old blog of mine and i thought it would be apropriate to add here. after all, it was written for him
Saturday, July 22, 2006

  liberty and justice for all! (on being the woman that i need to be)
Current mood:  frustrated
Category: Life


a woman's rage, it ignites the best and worst in her. it can be her shackles, or it can mean her liberation.

tonight, it was my liberation!

i hate being alone. i honestly do. but to chose between being alone and being emotionally beat down, suffocated or god forbid, being somebody's play thing, alone isn't too bad.

i give my guys a lot when they are with me. i tend to spoil them. they get too comfortable and test the waters. a word of advise guys, don't play with me. it is only a matter of time until the hormones calm down and i can think straight. then it's out you go!

with my laid back nature and my difficulty articulating myself verbally, people tend to underestimate me.i'm a lot stronger and possibly smarter than i seem. so "mr. i'm the freekin' s*** because i'm so smart" i have a game for you. i call it "GO f*** THE HELL OFF!". this time when you pass GO, there is no sex. you won't win. since you are so enthralled by games where only one player is enjoying themselves, i've learned the silent joy in it (you sick bastard). have fun playing with her now. you lost me. it wasn't as fun as i thought it would be. you made me cry. but i'll get over it.

tonight, i am with myself for a change. i missed me. don't like being second at or to anything. not to a man, a career and definitely not to another woman.

for the record, i don't think i'm remarkable in regards to looks, intellect or talent in bed but i know that i am a good woman, who deserves more than being led around and played with. i'm not a saint either, i have done my share of cheating and lying but at least i make an attempt to repair what i need to repair before i cause any permanent damage. sorry if i hurt you.

tonight i will be alone, and i feel good about it. how about you, can you say the same thing about yourself (you know who you are)?

July 24, 2006 - Monday (Ian)

  02:56 PM - I'm puzzled (c&p from my LJ)

Editors Note: This was written a few days ago in my LJ and out of laziness only now copied over to here

Please note this is a little longer than my usual posts, and was not written in anger, but in a state of confusion, sunburn, and hyped up on Ginger Ale.

There are things that I get confused about. I'm not the brightest person in the world, but I do have my niches. Women being no where near the list, so when an issue there arrises, I either research it out or do the exact opposite of my guts. One thing I have learned in my 23 years of existance is that I do not infact listen to my guts, they always tell me to do the exact opposite of what I should do. I learned this lesson quite a few times, and each time has left me a bit more anxiety.

Me + anxiety = not a fun ride.

So when Desserin and I ended a few days ago, I felt a bit anxitious, and by a bit, I mean a lot. I shouldn't have been caught by surprise, cause breaks never ever end well. I know this personally, thrice times over. I'm not exactly hurt over it, just a bit, dumbfounded.

Usually when a breakup occurs for me, I get pissed, then I get sad, then pissed again, then regretful, and then after a while I'm back to business as usual. Not this time. I did get pissed, but it lasted for 35 minutes after which I retracted a pretty abrasive message. Then after that, she said she think about it.

Why I would think it'd work after that, I was probably the most naive I have ever been.

So I mulled it over, drank some Ginger Ale, and went back to bed. Remembering I had to be at work at 6am the next day, I can't afford being drowsy.

In a perfect world, you'd expect some conversation inbetween, some going sour which you'd end up in a fight and make up over it. Yeah that exactly didn't happen, I kept sending a message here and there, hoping for something back. Nothing really happened, and then when she did post something on her blog it was a poem which I think would be about the situation or me or her emotional state. Being a guy, I'm rather dense on emotion. Even though I'm an emotional guy, sometimes the emotional state of woman fails me. Much like adjectives and the whole of the English language. Of course now (hindsight is so wonderful), I realize the err in my ways.

But now we come to this, a blog entry she wrote today, July 23rd. I know she needs to vent her frustrations, and I do know its her right to post them. But, something left me so puzzeled, I don't know if it's about me, or what. But she mentions it all here

I'll admit, I do hate finishing last, and I'll do anything in my power to not finish there. It's a nasty habit of mine. But, who's her. I rarely have a female waiting in the wings for me, as well, females rarely find themselves my way. And when they do find my way, we usually end up friends. (Curse you platonic friend line!) I also have had the pleasure of probably being the most faithful man ever. I can't cheat, I've tried, but my conscience comes back with a vengance mostly reserved for Bond supervillians. So I don't entirely get it. If you could come back to me on it, it'd be great, and if you know who she is, is she available?

Yeah okay, that last bit is a little out of line. So now to tackle the third before last line. "I'm not a saint either, i have done my share of cheating and lying but at least i make an attempt to repair what i need to repair before i cause any permanent damage."

Yeah, a break, not talking to me about your issues about us. That's not fixing, attempting to fix, repair or attempt to repair. That's sabotage. I know she had her own issues to work on, which I wont name her, but to say, it wasn't pretty. But, about us, if there any issues about us she needed to discuss, talk. To judge someone by what they say after they find out, "I don't know about us, I think we should be apart for a while so I can figure this out." Isn't all that just. You put them so far on the defensive that you'll just end up scaring the to say anything you want them too. Now while some out there will say, "Ian, what are you talking about? I would never do anything like that."

Yeah, and I'm the King of England.

If you feel something you haven't felt in ages, or something so new that you'd do anything to keep (I know guys out there are puffing me off, but I know it's different), and you scared someone so far with the break, you'd go to measures usually reserved for Strategic Air Command. I know I did. I was scared, and I did infact lose what I wanted to keep. Though I do blame guilt for me on something, I did sort of jump the gun a bit and pushed her into a emotional corner. Hindsight, woo.

In some of my relationships, we had this thing called, "communication". It was great, people would converce back and forth about issues they had, and how they could go and fix an issue. I champion communication. It saves headaches, backaches, heartaches, and your groin if you're a guy. I admit, I tried too late to get her to talk about things, but with her not being very vocal about her issues, it was an entirely uphill effort. If she was more vocal to me about her issues, things would be different. If she felt uncomfortable, she would be sitting on a smooth cloud of velet and valour. I, would've apologized, admit I was in the wrong, and learn to use call waiting when I was talking. (which I'm still trying to work on, and I am getting better at it) If I would've had an issue, I would've brought it to her attention. And to that point, the only issue I had was that we didn't go to Paris over the July 4th weekend. Other than that, I didn't have anything bothering me. On the other hand, it was a different story with her.

I'm not hurt, not upset, just confused. You were never my plaything, I never felt superior to you, and I never felt I had to belittle you. Yeah okay, that Halo round we played was a bit much. Now that I think about it, I felt you were superior to me, just listening to you speek about your experiences, I felt small. You came from a different heritiage, one that I got very interested in. I wanted to be as well-rounded as you, as educated, book smart. You made me wanna go further, do what I always wanted, and along the way, get to know more people and get smarter. Dreams felt real for a brief moment, which hasn't happened to me. Ever.

So once again, I find myself confused. I'm trying to piece this all together, I probably wont get that far though. There's still so much I don't know, and that I'll probably never know. This one is for all those times I felt confused.

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city
All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

The beach, I'll get there. I got my planned laid out, no way I will give it up now.

2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - 


Hippie in Chains:


oh swetie, i'm sorry.

i just wanted you to know that the last blog i wrote was not about you at all. i told you that i have a LOT of issues to deal with and i am not justifying myself so that i won't look like that bad guy. if anybody has wronged anybody it would be me. i have my reasons for not being totally open with you with many of my present issues. i don't want you to get hurt about things that does not involve you at all and if you say that my battles are your battles as well, i don't work that way. we havn't been through enough together for me to open up to you as intimately as you would like me too and i won't be able to for a long time. i'm not ready for a relationship. my moodswings are too erratic, my health isn't the best and my past isn't all really my past yet. i was lonley and you were very sweet. i needed a friend and i got you. you are wonderful and everything but way too intense for me right now. you've met me, seen how i behave. i need freedom, plenty of it. something you couldn't give me without being in worlds of pain. so let me go.

you didn't do anything wrong. i'm sorry you met me. i'm sorry if i hurt you.

thanks for the offer of velvet and silk. but all i really need right now is second-hand cotton and a trip to tibet.




Posted by Hippie in Chains on July 25, 2006 - Tuesday 10:47 PM
[Reply to this]


  Ian:

you didnt hurt me, i was just all confused about things. now its clearer now, it all makes sense now. and don't be sorry that i met you. you helped me out with a lot of things and i feel that i am a better person now. you are the best thing that has happened to me in the longest time, and i'm not ashamed to admit it.

i'll give you your freedom, and as much as you need. still be my friend, i'll let you go if you can try and promise me that.

September 2, 2007 - Sunday  (Ian)

05:04 AM - Shoppings.

Saturday, I needed my mood picked up. Des and I were talking, and she was trying her hardest to convince me to go out. Me being the pushover that I am for a wonderful time, took her up on the offer. We were in KTown from 9.30ish to about 4.30ish, walking all around, eating Sushi! (yumyum), and generally having a good time.
I walked out of it all with some good swag, and a better appreciation for a friend to help pick up my mood.

May 4, 2007 - Friday
Ian:
  10:56 PM - JD quote.

But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too.


1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - 


Hippie in Chains

what's wrong?
you never called.

Posted by Hippie in Chains on May 5, 2007 - Saturday 08:58 AM

Saturday, May 05, 2007 (D)

  i can see freedom, it's accross the boarder

work is a disappointment. all the people that i really looked up to have left and all i have right now are the few friends that i keep. they are the only thing that keep me sane in this prison without walls. i walked in here and locked myself in. it has been a journey and i am not complaining but sometimes...just sometimes i wished that i had the freedom to just walk away from this life and start anew. my regular pattern in life- let my feet rest for a while and walk away when the scenery gets old. the up side to my life right now is that i have actually stayed somewhere long enough to actually make strong friendships. they are like an alternate family which i personally chose to be with, to an extent. i just hate it when i'm not the one leaving first. i hate being left behind. but oh well, it's a part of life that i have to deal with and now and in the near future there will be a lot of that. this is a transitional phase for me and for almost everyone around me for that matter. it makes me only more excited about any prospective adventure that the future may bring. if we can only see the future.

Friday, May 4 2007
09:30 AM - One night. (Ian)


One night, one hour, one touch or even one kiss.

It just takes a singular event to make you realize what you missed what was going on all around you. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but it's usually good. Halfway through a dinner of battered mushrooms and listening to a story about how people suck, it can dawn on you. Open your eyes for the first time twice in one day, smell the tulips growing outside your office door, and feel the moisture falling around you.

December 22, 2006 - Friday (Ian)

10:08 PM - The best things are never said.

In the comfortable silence or in a light snore, you can have the best conversations.

I broke his heart. things went too fast... I found this in his blog

From a blog on myspace:
04:05 AM (ian) - The end isn't near.

We'll always have Trier, the long nights, and the crossword puzzles.

We'll also have each other.

Never again feel alone, for we're side by side in spirit.

If we never become lovers again, we'll be friends always.

It's better to play second fiddle, than to never have played at all

I'd still like to visit Panama, but if I can't, it wont be the end of me.

Thank you.

i met a boy. (yes, i found him on myspace, lol). although he may not acknowledge it, i honestly say that he is one of the most beautiful people that i have ever encountered. at last a connection. seeing his picture for the first time made me smile and i said to myself, i have to meet this person.

and we met. and we talked. we talked for a good 3 days. no going out, no parties. it was just us-meeting, smiling, compleating each other's sentences. and it felt right. it was all about the moment and the moments to come.

at last, somebody as animated, as carefree and as in tune to his emotions as i am. we don't have to pretend or tailor ourself to suit the other.

to the brain,...from panama
Current mood:  loved
Category: Romance and Relationships


you help me view the world

i help you see within.

because of you i will taste, smell and touch all that the world has to offer-

as i share with you the simple joys of life.

together, we will spalsh in a european fountain, your silk tie and my italian heels and cigarettes somewhere in a small pile far enough not to get too wet-as we enjoy one of our many young days in the sun.

we hold hands

who cares if my skin is dark and your eyes are blue

(oh what a beautiful blue!)

i am your path

you are (my) home

no one else will ever appeal more to the senses to me

than you

you facinate me with myself.

and from you

at last-

a smile

from him

May 24, 2006 - Wednesday

04:44 AM - Sleeping with a smile.
Category: Life

I've been infected with something. It's radical, way, way radical. It's like, wow. Yeah, wow. It's one of those moments where I wanna sit at a piano and just play some jazz. Good, old school jazz. Then have a brass quartet jump in, and have some percussion. Yeah, jazz. I love jazz.

Go ole Blue Eyes go, keep giving me songs to sing.

Go shiney ears go, keep giving me the reasons to sing these songs.

This is a compilation of love letters, messages, blogs and poetry that i have been exchanging with an old flame for a couple of years. I just felt that they are raw, beautiful and worth sharing.

For all the romantics out there, enjoy.

P.S. he refers to me as Panama (in reference to a michael franks song) in the poems and blogs.

im in WA now and wont be in SOCAL for a few months. i will be watching the game here though.

That i will!!! there are plenty of people that appreciate me and i dont need to settle for less than what i deserve.

mao gyod. wala ko kahibalo kinsay duol nato.

J,

Our love is dead. I can only go so long with an imaginary lover. I need something real and if you can't even feed the illusion, I will wake up. I have loved you too long. I have gven up more than once and you seem to reel me in every time i hold up the white flag. life is too short to live a one way love affair. It is time for me to live and you ran out of chances. We are through. We are through.
This will be my last letter.

D

San fernando vally

i go to la all the time!!! my mom lives there.

kinaduagayn gyod ko wala kakaon og kinilaw. lami ang kinilaw sa amo didto sa panglao. homesick baya 

Let’s run away, so there would be no more goodbyes,
where there are no more wars to fight but out own silly battles
over who will take out the trash
and who won the last scrabble game.

Lets take our sheets and build a home.
You don’t have to give me a ring
Just wake up beside me and I’ll be fine.
If only you could take me with you.
A soldier’s life is sad
but two soldier’s lives are short lived
and lonely.
Take me with you

Dear  J*,

I feel alive again.

Last night you reminded me that life is out there. You were How I used to be- vibrant and alive, what ever happened to that girl?  The girl that would party and hug and brighten a room the moment she walks in. I was that girl and somehow, i still am. Thanks to you she is slowly waking up, and boy is she ready to live!

You don't know how many mornings I  woke up alone, longing for the warmth of a man's arms. It was nice to pretend that even just for a moment, things would be ok. You have such a beautiful soul! Thank you for your arms, your comforting arms. I enjoyed them very much as I slept.

I will not hold you back much longer. Hopefully I will see you again soon and we will say our hellos and smile.

Thank you for the kisses  (I love being kissed!).

D

mingaw ko sa amo oi!!! dugay dugay na sad ko wa kauli sa panglao. maka-homesick.

danghag  , jk

Such a feel-good poem!

I obtained this from an article written by US MAJ Thomas S. Bundt, in a synapsis of the Philippine Insurrection of 1899. The 'water cure' was mentioned uban sa other more un-ethical means of combat. Objective comments please.

Soldiers acted as representatives
of the United States and helped noncombatants
enhance their position through activities such as
building community infrastructure. These new pacification
methods proved enormously significant and evolved into the components of present-day peacekeeping
operations. Building schools and bringing literacy
to the Philippines was a positive act for future
American and Philippine relations. Brian Aldridge, Drive Them Until They Drop and Then Civilize Them (Ann Arbor,
MI: UMI Dissertation Services, 1993), 144; Birtle, 122-25; 161-163.

I just wanted to tap on the 'bringing literacy' part of the excerpt.

My dearest J,

Finally, I got to hear your voice today. The distance is killing me. If only this war would stop and we could live a normal life, away from the army, away from the war and everything that reminds us of it.

I am terrified to let you go. I meet men daily that have lost their arms, legs and sanity. I see you in every one of their eyes. This could be you, I think every time i seat one in the chair or see them at the bar. I don't want the man I love to be a stranger. Let me go with you! We could work together and at least I wont worry as much. I don't know what I would do without you.

The time is killing me. It has been half a year now and I have'nt seen you. I keep a picture of you as my screen saver so I wont forget your face. I smiled for you today on the web cam. The first smile in days. God, I miss you. there are too many things that I am missing but would never have known if I have'nt left my little island, you being one of them. I feel this way and you are only accross the country. What if they send one of us away? I know this may seem selfish of me but I dont want to be the one left behind.
What I would give to have you hold me again.

Love always,

D

desserin!!!

Thanks Mike. I am very clumsy when it comes to affairs of the heart. This is actually theraputic for me, very liberating.

No, Ms. da binsi. I don't think that would be a very good idea. 

Dear _*,

How I wished that you have kissed me years ago. I was young and nervous and not as sure of myself. How I wish that you could meet the woman I am today!  Who would have thought that a kiss could have changed the course of my life so dramatically. But none of it ever happened. So we go about our lives. I have met many men, and kissed their lips and have had them profess their love to me - but I always wonder about you. Up till this day I have never been sure if our infatuation was as real as our friendship. I guess that's all it will ever be, an infatuation. Love is too strong of a word to use for a notion. I don't even know if you ever saw me in that light. I was so young, and come to think of it, so were you. I just never thought of it that way cause you were a few years older than me. I felt foolish to even think that you would even consider me.
So it's out there, I've never stopped thinking of you.

D

Yeah, the inconvenience is bothersome. Naa ko sa Tacoma, WA karon.

I'll have to look that one up.

we should meet up sometime.

i've been in love. duty just calls us apart.

Right now, I'm in Tacoma WA.

Don't really go clubbin' anymore. I go to little hole in the walls every now and then. Why, you in the area?

Thanks guys. Just identifying with the guys in my own way. They disgust me at times, but I identify with them, if that makes any sense. After all I do find myself in those situations. what can I say?

wisdom never grows old.

im depressed now

I walk through the door
and one by one
articles of clothing fall from my body
Their eyes are powerful
or so they think
and in no time I am naked
amids a room full of lonley men
Lonliness reeks from their body in the guise of tequila, jack daniels and cheap American beer
fully clothed I am exposed
first my breasts, to the small of my back and all the curves below
and i am made love to violently
with their perverted eyes
behind a shot of vodka,
and I am bold!
but at this point
my breasts are more powerful than my brain
and all the wit that comes with it.
I hold the goods
the balls are in my court, baby!
I pull out a cigarette and a constillation of lights flash before me
exposing my nakedness
Naked.
I inhale and sigh as I see who is next in line
I feel for them
in all their hormone-charged perversion
Just like them.
In this aging bar
where we all go home alone.

Only a Boholana can inspire such a delicatly intense flavor.

I haven't been reading joyce, I have been cleaning teeth 
I think he is talking about James Joyce, Mike. I did some hip pocket research on it. Yay me!

Joyce???

Freudian slips
I really did mean it in the general sense, promise.

For a second I thought I saw you at the clinic. Then I realized that he wasnt as tall as you. You haunt me, constantly I see you, I hear you ,I smell you, until I realize that he does'nt walk the same or the laugh isnt right. I smell you at the department store when men pass by. That is your colonge they are wearing! And I think to myself, how dare they? And then I fall back into the reality that you are not here, and like reverse magic, they become ordianry once again. And again, I wait. I wait for you to come home.

I am tired and tonight I will fall asleep with thoughs of your breath beside me.

I love you,

D

I feel a sense of melancholy at the fact that we had beautiful weather and I hadn't gone out of my room to get ice cream. I wanted to walk in the park and look at people pass by as I ate my coffee-flavored ice cream before it trickled down my arm and i would have to like the trickles off of the back of my hand.
I wanted to see the ducks, or go to the zoo perhaps and just walk around and talk. I have no one to go with here. The only places peolpe ever really invite me to is the bar, in hopes that I would get drunk enough to sleep with them at the end of the night. Doesn't happen. lucky for me, I have a high tolerance for alcohol and the men are normally drunk, aging and unappealing (not particularly in that order), so I go home alone and I can live with myself when I wake up in the morning.
I miss my man. He is several states away dong the exact same thing I am doing here in Washington I imagine, only in warmer weather. I often daydream of the day that we will meet again. Where I can live in a house and have someone to watch tv with. Until then, I have a window to glace out from, a fan to keep me cool this summer, my laptop and a vivid imagination to keep me stimulated.

funny because it's true.

Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

------------ --------- --------- -------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.



Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe', try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.



Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.

0

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.



We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.



Good Luck, Tech Support

I just might take my own advise this weekend and have some fun 

Looks like fun!!!! I wanna go. I need a vacation anyway.

I tend to not over-rationalize things. Unfortunately , people at work see it as a flaw. I say it keeps me sane. It keeps me connected with myself and the world around me. I make a habbit of just being in the moment. Life isn't a puzzle to solve. If you just live it, answers will come, and when they do come, listen.

While we are here in this world, why not enjoy it?

If you are fortunate today, share your fortune.

There are some of us who do not wish other's to enjoy life. These people drain you because they don't know how else to live. I am still recovering from my exposure to people that want too much. They don't know what to take and they take it all, or they try to at least. Greed is what kills civilization. Why are we hoarding, when there is plenty for eveybody? There is plenty for everybody. It's there, breathe.

I have been spending years of my life trying to find home. I believe I have found it. It is with me and the people that I love. I have also spent years of my life trying to rush. Life is short, right. Do as much as you can with the time you have. If you think of it that way, yes, life is short. But we will all see each other again, in heaven perhaps, or in the next life or where ever you want to call it. Stories only end if you let them. Death is just a new beginning, a change, a part of life.

I guess what I am trying to say is, don't be hesitant. Live how you would want your life to be. There is nothing wrong with wealth as long as you share it, there is nothing wrong with touching as long as it is sincere, there is nothing wrong with loving as long as you mean it. Live today, why else are you in this world?

  Are these people serious??? There goes our upper hand in the world job market. I say if they want to have more Tagalog in the class room, then they should have more Tagalog in the class room, not take English away all together. Freekin' idiots.

So cool!!!

Thank you for your hard work in Tubag Bohol. It has helped me with my homesickness and I feel like I am connected to the bohol that I know, not just the pictures on travel web sites.
You are loved Mike.

i'm not really a big talker, so writing gives me an outlet. i dont feel as awkward when i write.

Thank you.

 

Is that a good wow??? if it is, thanks sir.

Dear J****,

I've been listening to these songs all evening. My neighbors are probably sick of hearing them, but for now it helps me remember you. If I close my eyes and listen long enough, I can feel you here listening with me. I havent been kissed in so long. Dont be supprised if i break down the next time that I see you. Hopefully that time you can stay and I wont have to worry about you not eating right or drinking too much. I just want to see you. Im tired of being alone.
Let's go home, so we can continue our scrabble games and I can watch you eat the dinner I made. Our shows are waiting for us and we can talk about what happened at work until we decide to call it a night and I'll fall asleep in your arms. I miss your arms and your lips,
and your smell on the sheets and in my hair.
I havent been sleeping well lately. Thoughts of you have been haunting me, or it could just be that I am not used to sleeping alone. It has been half a year and I'm still not used to being by myself. I am in a coccoon, waiting for the day that we can be together. Waiting for the day that you will come home to me. Come home to me. Come home.

With fire,
D*

for insurectus:
this has nothing to do with the topic but your defult picture had me thinking that something was wrong with my pc, lol. ( i had my courser chasing the damn bug for a good 4 minutes). yeah, yeah i know, im not the brightest crayon in the box.

Well thank you  *huge f***ing smile*.

too much ba?

I give you tonight to hold me.
Now, you are my only truth.

Naked, I lie with you
Truth unashamed
before you let me walk away
now, is my forever in a day.

These walls are only borrowed
Soon, I must return to the nowhere I belong
How sad that I have found peace within your distant arms,
your sad eyes
your gentle smile;
But tomorrow must come
and  forever will be gone

I leave you behind to wonder
within these borrowed walls
what another day would be like
another kiss
another chance at love unashamed
the morning will be too late
for by then, I am gone.

Orgasmic Crash

For just two seconds, the world stopped

now my heart is throbbing, loud in my palms

as i hold them to my ears

and crack a huge f***ing smile.



damn, that was good!

let me just lie here for a moment

my hair wet

my body moist

smelling like you

a huge f***ing smile



just let me giggle

its okey if you fall asleep

as long as you're beside me.

i just want to feel your warmth

and just for a moment

nothing else matters

but this room

this room is the world

and i am an empress

with a huge f***ing smile.

your words never fail to make me fall in love. you are gifted!

pamahow: beer
Paniudto: left overs sa dining facility 
Panihopon: beer

i think i have enough pictures of me on TB, lol. Thanks Sigbin II.

mastication

thanks for the warm welcome. i finally have internet access!!! yay!!!

sounds like fun. bantay bitaw.

He has heart

That makes me happy!

I'm not in bohol. but i wish i could be a part in all the TB festivities. Sounds like sooo much fun. I saw some of the pictuers from your EB's and i got a little there.

I hope to be home soon, too.

I can be a little more active here at TB. you will be seeing more of me because i finally have internet (yay me!!!). happy kaaoy ko. George Jr. SAys hi!

Have you ever dropped a scoop if ice cream when you were little? The heart-broken regret you feel as a child. 'I should have been more careful' you thought, but the damange was already done, you dropped it and could only wonder what it would have felt like to have it in your cone. To savor the cool. sweetness of its flavors with all the other children next to the ice cream cart. they were all carefull, they all had their ice cream.
I left Germany December last year. At the time I was living with a man. who i had stayed with for almost 3 years. I had grown to love him but was still very unsure of what would become of us. So I left, as soldiers do, thinking "this is it. I am going to leave the man that I have loved for almost 3 years." I hated leaving. I hated starting over again. But that's what I did. It was part of what kept me alive. So I left.
When I was in California, he called often. Said how much he missed me. Then he moved back to the states, the calls were fewer and far between and all of a sudden the calls stopped. I was upset vut not devestated. I was going to Texas.
A good friend of mine picked me up at the San Antonio airport and she took me to base. I thought I knew where I was going but they changed the companies arround so much since the last time i was there that i was abolutely lost. it was almost midnight and I was lost. Brandi had to be at work at 7 am and she lived 45 minutes away. I had a lot of luggage so I had to stay somewhere. The police station was around the corner, a cab driver was next to it so i decided to ask for directions from one of these guys. they shoud know where im supposed to be. Then, from nowhere, a man drives up and asks me if i need any help. "Yes, yes I do." I put all my luggage in his car and we drove off...

i have an update to this post.... tell you guys what honestly happened but i will post in on the love section of tubag bohol.

Why thank you  .

Thank you!!! It feels good to be back (and to have the internet).

you could have just asked me. i could send you some.

Six plane rides, 15 cab rides, miles and miles of running and a Harley ride later, I am finally in a place where I am allowed to have my very own internet service  !!!I know its been almost half a year since i was last here and I havent forgotten about my friends here in TB (that is if they still remember me).
Updates: I am pretty much doing the same thing, just in a different part of the world. I have finally decided on settling for one man (the same guy I have been seeing for the past 3 years) and George, green and skinny for those of you who remember, has been adopted by a good friend of mine in Germany. My friends felt that I was having the empty nest syndrome since I have been stationed far away from the man and bamboo-american that I love, so they decided to give me George Jr. who now resides in my room nest to the chinese dog figurine.
I now suck spit in a trailor in my very own (dental) operatory. my unconventional way of seeing patients has brought me some popularity amonst the soldier-patients and i have gotten many compliments (and phone numbers) from the greatful and the lonely. Something about music, dim lights and the sound of your teeth being scrapped with sharp instruments just makes a man happy to be alive (*sigh*, people sometimes *shakes head*). I have to admit, i miss my old unit and the guys there. they were like a family to me. this new place i am at is very imperssonal and i miss the commeraderie of the buddies i left behind. i hope they come home safe.
now I have decided to keep things quiet. no more crazy parties, no Harley's and wild nights out. i'm tired and its just not as fun as it used to be. i am finally out of my element and that can only mean one thing, after years of searching, I have found out where home is.

Just thought this would be funny to share. Gitudluan noho ang ahong bf nga mag-binisaya. his favorite is 'pisteng y*&^%, pisteng y*&^%, pisteng y*&^%." it's funny.

Quote from: Sigbin II on September 26, 2007, 05:49:29 PM
Hippieinchains, I won't be wearing a costume but I shall be putting a large, brown paper bag over my head.

Sigbin II, why be a party pooper? Let's go as James Bond and Slutty, Sniper Bond Girl with Bamboo sidekick. 

Quote from: ms da binsi on September 27, 2007, 09:28:47 PM
so kamong duha ang bida??


hala sigi... unsaon naman si Ginger ani???

Ginger??? Gilligan's Island? She can join too. The more the merrier!

George is my pet and my friend

This will be a long list:

Indian
Chinese
Mexican
Panamanian
Spanish
Columbian
Puerto Rican
Cuban
Thai


the sad part is even Filipinos don't think I'm Filipino until I open my mouth.
Mexicans come up to me and speak Spanish alot. They usually give me a disgusted look when I tell them I don't speak Spanish. "Yeah lady, sorry to disappoint you but I'm Filipino".
I get discounts at Indian stores for being Indian, lol.
When am I going to be identified as Filipino. I guess I will just wear a wreath of lumpia around my neck when I roll out, lol.

Quote from: Sigbin II on September 19, 2007, 05:52:52 PM
Any job?  An assassin with unlimited financial backing, appropriately secure headquarters, and a reliable information network.

Vert sexy... Can I be the Bond Girl? So much fun! You get the adventure you crave and I get all the &%$^&*^&*&@!!! from you that I desire, plus the cool outfits.

I personally want to be a photojournalist/photographer. I think that is the coolest job. If only I had the security of a stable salary to go with it.