I feel a sense of meloncholy at the fact that we had beautiful weather and I hadn't gone out of my room to get ice cream. I wanted to walk in the park and look at people pass by as I ate my coffee-flavored ice cream before it trickled down my arm and i would have to like the trickles off of the back of my hand.
I wanted to see the ducks, or go to the zoo perhaps and just walk around and talk. I have no one to go with here. The only places peolpe ever really invite me to is the bar, in hopes that I would get drunk enough to sleep with them at the end of the night. Doesn't happen. lucky for me, I have a high tolerance for alcohol and the men are normally drunk, aging and unappealing (not particularly in that order), so I go home alone and I can live with myself when I wake up in the morning.
I miss my man. He is several states away dong the exact same thing I am doing here in Washington I imagine, only in warmer weather. I often daydream of the day that we will meet again. Where I can live in a house and have someone to watch tv with. Until then, I have a window to glace out from, a fan to keep me cool this summer, my laptop and a vivid imagination to keep me stimulated.
Hippie, I also experienced extreme loneliness and longing to see someone during my first years outside our country. I felt allienated and my space is confined in four corners. I fought back by denying reality, but that does not help. I landed in a place where I can not enjoy alcohol. So I tried many things to keep my sanity. I played music, played with imagination, played with my mind, tried crazy things to the extent of experimenting lucid dreaming and telekinesis.
Life is a wave; such situation will pass and a warm sunshine will soon rise.
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