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Gener

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How to find a Husband?
« on: October 12, 2008, 10:03:04 PM »
Finding a Husband
by: Gener Marcelo

My wife and I have common closed circle of female friends from the company where she works. Among the group, we are the only married and the rest are all single.  We used to share jokes but oftentimes when topic shifted to getting married or finding husband, their faces turns in full dismay as if, “hey Gino, can we change the topic?” Well I guess for them, finding a husband should not be the prime concern. So I didn’t discuss this in a mix company and strive not to bring up this “taboo” topic every time we had chit-chat time until my wife told me that Ms._ _ _ (a common woman friend of ours) asked my wife to give her picture to me hoping that I could find her a husband from my male circle of friends. I just laugh at the insinuation until I learned that although they didn't discuss it in mixed company, but one of our friends admitted that they talked about it a lot in the safety of their office pantry. It turns out that it was probably the subject they talked about most. Sitting in the hallway, eating junk food in their office uniforms, this friend of ours admitted her deepest longing, even more than career success, was to get married. Then she'd bemoan how most of her male classmates and friends were either not marriage material or already taken. I am apt for the latter.

I'd often wonder if getting the master’s degree, staying focus to one’s career and eventually remains single at their late 30’s is the price that we all have to pay. I don’t’ want to sound like a chauvinist but women succumb more than men to the pressure of realizing that they are still a single (of course the exception goes to the women staying single by choice) in the late 30’s.For all we knew, she may be prepared to give it all up — the career, the big salary, the trappings of success — should the right man come along. But the men of their lives didn't know she felt that way. What if, she worried, and finally met someone and he interpreted her ambition the wrong way?

Most men don’t have the ability to decode women’s Morse code. When a woman says NO-we understood it to be NO, period. That’s why when a woman on her date says to her boyfriend that she don’t mind at all if her beau couldn’t remember important dates and anniversaries, we will think it as, “OK, she’s cool”. That’s how dumb a man can be. But on the other hand, women have to be honest with themselves — and your male friends. Hearing it from men side sometimes make sense: "Initiate conversations about marriage among your friends — not as it relates to you and the guy you're interested in specifically, but generally, the same way you'd have a group discussion about politics or religion." While most women didn't shy away from other tough subjects when you are all together; why not bring up something even more important?
This piece of encouragement really came down to one word: intentionality. Many career women are known for high-achievement in every area but the one you say you value the most: relationships. Sadly, some women, by and large, desire marriage, but don’t know how to get there or believe there's no rush to make it happen.

When it comes to committed relationships, some women tend to be drifters. I know this because I saw this to some of our common female friends. I hear some story on how our female friend spent nearly a year as Mr. Friend’s buddy. It took her a long time to finally ask for something more.
It turns out there are things you can do to move a relationship forward. But you have to know what not to do first.

A few bad habits can sabotage a relationship; yet single women seem to miss this. Some hang out with a "buddy," content with mere friendship, never daring to require him to state his intentions. Others have pre-marital sex and don't understand why their "partner" has no momentum toward marriage. Most spend all their time with the same group, even after they've decided that no one in that group is a possible marriage partner.
These habits are pretty good for preventing weekend loneliness. But the very things singles do to avoid being alone on Saturday night may keep them alone for the rest of their lives.
If you want a mate who respects you, you've got to respect yourself. That means setting high standards for your relationships. Are you the gal guys come to for advice about other women? Do you spend all of your time with a guy who's not your boyfriend? Are you an open book with a man who hasn't asked for a commitment? If you've answered yes to any of these, you may need better boundaries to protect your time and your heart. This will help you resist the temptation to spend your prime years and best self on counterfeits.

On the flip side, approaching the opposite sex in a principled way can only enhance your relationships. Develop high character: treat men with kindness; be honest; don't lie, gossip or manipulate; be trustworthy. Any guy worth marrying will notice
.
Changing your way of relating to men may seem unnatural at first — and for some, not worth the effort. But if your goal is marriage, it makes sense to do what's in your power to achieve it. Don't misunderstand: you can't force it. There's no formula for making two people fall in love and commit their lives to one another. Besides, for singles who've committed their life to Christ, the timing is ultimately up to Him. But you still have a part to play. And if you're doing things that lead you away from the altar, why not purposefully change direction?



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fdaray

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2008, 12:05:09 PM »
Those Filipina singles , try looking for an ideal husband in the internet.
Daghang nakaswerte ug foreigners nga karon mga datu na, pero mostly
senior citizen na.

Don't stay single. You miss one half of your life.
Life is what you make.
Kon naa kay gisoksok, naa kay makuot.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2008, 12:17:30 PM »
Filipina singles, please don't lose the oppurtunity of finding your life partner. Daghang mga Europeans nga nangita kaninyo. They really prefer a Filipina partner because Filipinas are noted to be great lovers and a caring partners. Pati kuno kuko nila sa tiil limpyo kaajo.
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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2008, 12:42:28 PM »
mao nay giingon bahalag tiguwang basta mapinangaon ug datu. di pod suicide bomber!!!
Artificial Intelligence is nothing in comparison to Natural Stupidity.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2008, 04:48:19 PM »
Thread: Why Some People Will Remain Single 
 cuteandfriendly
 

Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 1

 Why Some People Will Remain Single
Posted: 10/4/2006 10:45:58 AM
Well, I've been on this site now for about 2 1/2 months & I will soon be deleting my profile. I will, however, give a few pointers for those that 'wonder' why they can't get a decent women (this can apply to women also), even if they are decent guys & for all of the others in-between:

1) Learn to spell.....it's a mighty BIG TURN-OFF when a lot of men on this site can't even spell simple words. Use a dictionary if necessary - that's what I used in school & afterwards when I did not know how to spell certain words.

2) Say 'something' in your profile. It's a turn-off when men say they 'don't know what to say' or they hardly put anything (sometimes 'nothing') in their profile. At the very LEAST, put what you like to do (hobbies, sports), what kind of woman you desire, etc. It's really not that difficult.

3) If you don't know what kind of woman is 'right' for you - good luck, because you NEED to know this to avoid the 'bad' ones out there or the ones that are just not right for you. Why waste your time and everyone else's? KNOW what you need and want. I do....that's why I'm more selective than a lot of people....but look at how many are NOT in good relationships!

4) If you are NOT good-looking, then don't expect to get a good-looking woman. Yes, looks do matter & I've noticed that the ones that say looks don't matter are USUALLY those who are NOT good-looking. They are also the ones who complain, get perturbed, disgusted, angry, etc. when us good-looking women WANT a good-looking guy. It's human nature to want better IF YOU CAN GET BETTER. If I wasn't good-looking, then I wouldn't expect to get a good-looking guy. So don't get on your high horse just because some women, like me, put a higher priority on looks. There certainly are other requirements in order to me to choose a steady partner, but I HAVE to be attracted to him first & foremost.

5) For those of you who are overweight (more than 10 lbs of your ideal weight) then I suggest you cut down on your calories & EXERCISE. Otherwise, do NOT expect to get much luck on this site (or others). Not too many people want someone overweight. However, overweight people can expect to get others like themselves. A lot of men want a good-looking, slim women - well, we want the same thing in a man!!!! (At least the majority of us do).

So those are my tips. I don't particularly like this site. I've only met (in person) a few guys and I did speak to a few others. One guy 'pretended' to want a relationship but after 'writing' a few times, I KNEW he just wanted sex. Just be honest folks.....there's nothing wrong in just wanting sex or whatever....as long as you're totally honest about everything. I personally lose a lot of respect when someone lies. If you have enough self-esteem, then you shouldn't have to lie. Also, some men on this site THINK they're so HOT in the looks department, but they're not. I read a book recently that said men usually exaggerate their looks & woman do the opposite. Interesting, isn't it? I've met a couple of good guys on this site (one was especially good, kind, etc.) but he was overweight & I just was NOT AT ALL attracted to him in a physical/sexual way. I was sad about that....but I can't control what I'm attracted to (or not).

So that's it folks for me....good luck to the rest of you. I hope some people on this site are meeting & dating & perhaps even hooking up permanently. It's sad that so many of us are single. I wish, for all of us, that it just wasn't so difficult to meet someone compatible, in the most important areas at least.
 
 
 bosoxx
 

Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 2

 Why Some People Will Remain Single
Posted: 10/4/2006 11:28:05 AM
hi cute,
I agree with your opinions mostly,however it's just not that simple! I consider myself a good looking guy,I'm honest,reliable,funny,educated and responsible.However I'm also 43yrs old/w no kids.Sometimes women think there is something wrong w/that alone.Just circumstance and no more.I also shave my head-the alternative is much worse and it looks good/some women hate it,some love it!I've got some tattoos,some love it /hate it.I guess my point is everybody likes something different.Me personally I am only attracted to petite women as I am quite fit and have a nice body for my age(no I don't look 25)but I wouldn't be embarassed to take my shirt off at the beach...........I feel like a good catch and still deal w/plenty of rejection! It's part of the process and when I do find THE one I will not under estimate the value of what has happened and never take it for granted simply because although the process can be fun,it can also be frustrating,time consuming and difficult!that's what makes that special person SPECIAL!
 bosoxx
 
 
 tantera
 

Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 3

 Why Some People Will Remain Single
Posted: 10/4/2006 11:30:34 AM
Hi Barbie
Hi Ken!
 
 

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 05:16:36 PM »
Is he really cute and friendly? Hala kamo ha? Pagbantay jod mo sa injong speling so dat cute and friendly wil be empress. Ples be kerful neks taym. Ok?

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2008, 07:48:36 PM »
Our society is still a patriarchal one. It is difficult for a woman to be accepted in an equal footing among men. There are lots of sexisms.
So if a woman is succcesful careerwise, it is not easy for a man to look after her. Malakas ang kantyaw. I know lots of very intelligent Pinays and really successful, but a man to find to be a partner, it has still a long way to go.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2008, 10:28:31 AM »
Did you find a husband in Germany.? You have been working in Germany for a long time . It is true that most Germans are uncircumsized?

Moyhua

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2008, 03:08:03 PM »
How to find a Husband?

Don't!

It will come to you at the right time with the right man.
"Asset Developer, Household Manager and Relationship Builder"

hofelina

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2008, 03:43:22 PM »
Felix,

Most of the Europeans are pisot! Only jews and moslems are circumcised. They wonder why Pinoy males are tuli. I have my son circumcised.
I met my husband in Davao City, after two years of letter exchange ( he converted to Catholicsm) we got married in Guindulman.

Angie,

Kining pangita ug bana, sakto gajud ka, ang kahitas-an ra ang mag-igo.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2008, 04:21:53 PM »
Warning for single , be sure to have a circumcised husband for happiness .

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2008, 12:25:56 AM »
Base on my own experience some Pinoy mamili sad ug ka level nila unya ikaulaw kung makauyab sila ug pobre.Naa ko uyab sa una Pinoy perti ka inlove but I always notice that when we are in public he act like he never know me.They were not rich maybe middle class.Friends know we are boyfriend/girlfriend but if some people ask him he always deny gikaulaw ko niya kay lagi pobre ug kagikan.
I had one crush back in high school he is aware of it iya gyud ko ginawong ug estorya nga tapusan daw ko pangadye ug requim usa siya pakasal nako.Pobre lagi daw ko dili ko deserving mo level nila.He even tell me kutob ra daw ko magpamaid sa manila sa among ka pobre he is so wrong I went to college after high school.Kung ma successful kono ko kana kung magartista pero puro x-rated movie.
Another boyfriend in Mindanao I can tell gikan siya sa prominent family.He also act like the first boyfriend.Segi siya pamisita sa balay but kung naa makakita namo mga silingan in public maglikay siya.One time in davao nagkita mi iya sister unya naa diay siya adto naglikay gyud siya.Twice niya gibuhat nga nagtago tago siya kay sa mall mi adto nag tagbo.Third time nagkita mi sa mall nakakita siya nako dako ug ngisi unya naa ko kauban adto ako bestfriend ambot naunsa ba nga ingdagan man ko sa sininaan nanago mi sa ako friend.I was laughing after at least na feel niya unsa na feel nako before.
So to all single pinoy ayaw basihe ang status sa tawo kung manguyab mo.Respect the poor girl.
Naa nay giandam ang Ginoo nga life partner para ninyo maghulat nalang mo when na maabot.Ayaw pangitaa kay moabot ra na sa tamang panahon.
"We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low"---Bishop Desmond Tutu

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fdaray

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2008, 12:24:20 PM »
Raquel.. dili tama nga ang Ginoo maoy nag-andam kanato ug husband ug moabot ra anytime. Iampo sa Ginoo nga hatagan ka niya ug ideal husband. Seek and you shall find, knock and shall be opened. It is said , life is what you make and God will give you
blessings.

Unsay may blessings nga ihatag sa Ginoo kon wala ka mobohat.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2008, 12:43:45 PM »
I agree with you Fdaray.My high school teacher advice  us before to pray everyday for your future husband and wife.Always offer prayer everyday.I always say it like this before Almighty God, I offer my prayer for my future husband,keep him safe and I am sending my guardian angel  to watch him.Then recite 3 hour father and 3 hail mary.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2008, 12:44:09 PM »
Kauban ba na sa lihok tawo kay tabangan ko ikaw.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #15 on: November 25, 2008, 12:45:18 PM »
I mean Our Father not hour typing error.lol

Gener

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #16 on: December 06, 2008, 05:33:41 PM »
Well, in my opinion, there are those single but happy and there are also those who are married but unhappy. It only goes to show that happiness could be spell out in various ways in each one of us. Either you are enjoying your single-blessedness or you are happily married. After all, it is you and only you who knows what will make you happy.

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2008, 06:51:26 PM »
Gener,

After losing my husband,I got a partner for 25 years who looked for a younger woman.  After 4 years I realized I´m happy being solo.  I am so pre-occupied with different organizations, I can´t imagine a man waiting for his food to be done or household chores.
I take time now and enjoy this freedom lost.
You are right, you could be happy for whatever choice you made.
Manay

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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2008, 07:42:16 PM »
MAKE MEN FIND YOU

Since the earliest days of mankind, a woman can show a man she is interested in him, the smart one's let him think he is doing the chasing. This is the twenty first century and you can show a man you are interested in him. Catch his eye and then immediately look away, but then look back at him. If he finds you attractive, he will think he has fond you, and will most often make a move.

for me this is true.... :)effective girls :-*
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Re: How to find a Husband?
« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2008, 01:10:31 PM »
How?

I don't think there's such thing as "HOW"...it's always a personal decision.
everything will just fall in place in a relationship when both parties involved
are open to each other from different possibilities. you cannot program intimacy,
you can only prepare for it.



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