Author Topic: Why I Live in the Philippines  (Read 2446 times)

pioneer

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Why I Live in the Philippines
« on: August 18, 2007, 03:04:59 AM »
forwarded

1. Every street has a basketball
court.

2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers
are unemployed.

3. Doctors study to become nurses for
employment abroad.

4. Students pay more money than they
will earn afterwards.

5. School is considered the second
home and the mall considered the
third.

6. Call-center employees earn more
money than teachers and nurses.

7. Everyone has his personal ghost
story and superstition.

8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw
are considered holy places.

9. Everything can be forged.

10. All kinds of animals are edible.

11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive
than gas.

12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as
four hours.

13. Flyovers bring you from the
freeway to the side streets.

14. Crossing the street involves
running for your dear life.

15. The personal computer is mainly
used for games and Friendster.

16. Where colonial mentality is
dishonestly denied!

17. Where 4 a.m. is not even
considered bedtime yet.

18. People can pay to defy the law.

19. Everything and everyone is
spoofed.

20. Where even the poverty-stricken
get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy
Hilfiger (peke)!

21. The honking of car horns is a way
of life.

22. Being called a bum is never
offensive.

23. Floodwaters take up more than 90
percent of the streets during the
rainy season.

24. Where everyone has a relative
abroad who keeps them alive.

25. Where wearing your national colors
make you baduy.

26. Where even the poverty-stricken
have the latest cell phones. (GSM-
galing sa magnanakaw)

27. Where insurance does not work.

28. Where water can only be classified
as tap and dirty.

29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos
per gallon).

30. Where the government makes the
people pray for miracles. (Amen to
that!)

31. Where University of the
Philippines where all the weird people
go.

32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.

33. La Salle is where all the Chinese
go.

34. College of Saint Benilde is where
all the stupid Chinese go and;

35. University of Asia and the Pacific
is where all the irrelevantly rich
people go.

36. Fast food is a diet meal.

37. Traffic signs are merely
suggestions, not regulations.

38. Where being mugged is normal and
It happens to everyone.

39. Rodents are normal house pets.

40. The definition of traffic is
the 'non-movement' of vehicles.

41. Where the fighter planes of the
1940s are used for military
engagements and;

42. The new fighter planes are
displayed in museums.

43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a
necessity, and where the lottery is a
commodity.

44. Where soap operas tell the
realities of life and where the news
provides the drama.

45. Where actors make the rules and
where politicians provide the
entertainment.

46. People can get away with stealing
trillions of pesos but not a thousand.

47. Where being an hour late is still
considered punctual (Grabe
talaga 'to!)

48. Where the squatters have more to
complain (even if they do not pay
their tax) - than those employed and
have their tax automatically deducted
from their salaries.

49. And where everyone wants to leave
the country!


FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:



1. The sign in a flower shop in
Diliman called Petal Attraction.

2. Anita Bakery

3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris
Day & Night

4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;

5. A bakery named Bread Pitt

6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya'
(banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.

7. Then, there are Christopher
Plumbing

8. A boutique called The Way We Wear

9. A video rental shop called Leon
King Video Rental

10. A restaurant in Cainta district of
Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken

11. A local burger restaurant called
Mang Donald's

12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts

13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll)
in Makati called Wrap and Roll

14. And two butcher shops called
Meating Place and Meatropolis.

Smart travelers can decipher what may
look like baffling signs to
unaccustomed foreigners by simply
sounding out the 'Taglish' (The
Philippine version of English words
spelled and pronounced with a heavy
Filipino such as:

15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu "We
hab sopdrink in can an in batol"
[translation: We have soft drinks in
can and in bottle].

16. Then, there is a sewing
accessories shop called Bids And
Pises - [translation: Beads and
Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]

There are also many signs with either
badly chosen or misspelled words but
they are usually so entertaining that
it would be a mistake to 'correct'
them like.......

17. In a restaurant in Baguio City,
the 'summer capital' of the
Philippines: " Wanted: Boy Waitress"

18. On a highway in Pampanga: "We Make
Modern Antique Furniture"

19. On the window of a photography
shop in Cabanatuan: "We Shoot You
While You Wait"

20. And on the glass front of a cafe
in Panay Avenue in Manila: "Wanted:
Waiter, Cashier, Washier".

Some of the notices can even give a
wrong impression such as:

21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which
has a sign saying: "We Sell Imported
Robber Shoes" (these could be
the 'sneakiest' sneakers);

22. A rental property sign in Jaro
reads: "House For Rent, Fully
Furnaced" (it must really be hot
inside)!

23. Occasionally, one could come
across signs that are truly unique -
if not altogether odd. City in
southern Philippines which
said: "Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to
negotiation".

24. European tourists may also be
intrigued to discover two competing
shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry)
called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia -
which are owned and operated by two
local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho
and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it
or not)!

25. Some folks also 'creatively'
redesign English to be more
efficient. "The creative confusion
between language and culture leads to
more than just simple unintentional
errors in syntax, but in the adoption
of new words, "says reader Robert
Goodfellow who came across a
sign .....House Fersallarend' (house
for sale or rent). Why use five words
when two will do?

26. According to Manila businessman,
Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit
in the Philippines because "We are a
country where a good sense of humor is
needed to survive". We have a 24-hour
comedy show here called the government
and a huge reserve of comedians made
up mostly of politicians and bad
actors.

Now I ask you where else in the world
would one want to live?

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=3396.0
Romans 10:9
"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."
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pioneer

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2007, 03:11:51 AM »
forwarded


11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive
than gas.


I remember I ordered two cups of tea at Starbucks and I paid P150 or P160. I promised to myself I will never go to Starbucks again.

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=3396.0
Romans 10:9
"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."
👇👇👇
Na-try mo na ba yung Tala app? Reliable sa unexpected expenses at laking tulong sa future! Use this code 9SO1TSL or visit www.tala.com to sign up!

udtohan

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2007, 03:20:34 AM »

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2007, 04:35:26 AM »
6. Call-center employees earn more
money than teachers and nurses....mas labaw pa sad ug income sa mga doctors and engineers...

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"All that is needed for evil to succeed is, that decent human beings doing nothing". (Edmund Burke)

udtohan

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2007, 04:36:36 AM »
really ban-alam? mmm.... sleep sako oy, it's 5am na diri sa pinas. morning.

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buenavista

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2007, 09:52:56 AM »
22. A rental property sign in Jaro
reads: "House For Rent, Fully
Furnaced" (it must really be hot
inside)!

HEHEHE ;D ;D ;D ;D

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Bambi

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2007, 09:49:50 PM »
Hello Mike!

Got much amused of the Living Methods in our Country. Nr. 24 based really in practice and traits. Well, it is like the holy rosary - Mao gihapon, mao gihapon!
but it is interesting to hear ayaw.... ayaw dugaya. Funny but makapungot experienced: give a cellphone (nephew) as pinaskohan, he needs it very badly for uyab purposes...he 1st text to me: "Ate, can you give me money for disco? well, the gift gains - they have now a 8 mos. baby,

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Happy

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2007, 03:20:12 AM »
"There's no perfect life, but we can let God fill it with perfect moments"

-<GEC348>-

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2007, 06:19:39 AM »

Me don't want live leave d Philippin

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2007, 10:46:05 AM »
ako pod,kay naa man didto ako family ;)

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2007, 04:57:31 AM »
Physically absent in the Philippines but mentally and totally involved whatever new posted in TB. More positive events are expected.

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Re: Why I Live in the Philippines
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2007, 03:31:47 AM »
viva pilipinas!  feel proud to tell the world, "we are filipinos!"

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