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Author Topic: Mangatawa Usa Ta.  (Read 84453 times)

Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #200 on: October 01, 2007, 09:18:46 AM »
PATUGA LANG
Asawa: Tagai ko og kuwarta bi, mopalit ko og bra.
Bana: Nganong mag-bra ka pa nga gamay ka man kaayo og totoy
Asawa: Ikaw, bitaw patuga ka sab sul-ob og brief, puwerteng gamaya man sad kaayo nang imuha.

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Gervistill

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #201 on: October 01, 2007, 09:19:44 AM »
BOMBAY STYLE
Masahista: Unsay guston nimong klase nga masahe, sir Swedish, Shiatsu?
Customer: Mahimo bag Bombay Style,day?
Masahista: Unsa nang Bombay Style sir.
Customer: Kanang 12 months to pay ba!

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"  F O R M   follows  F U N C T I O N " is a principle of Modern architecture and industrial design : arch't Louis Sullivan

ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #202 on: October 01, 2007, 09:30:13 AM »
hahhahhahhah


pa tanto diay hahhaha

naaay interest 5/6 hahahahhah

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #203 on: October 01, 2007, 10:47:52 AM »
hahahaha 5/6.  naa ni daghan sa amoa.

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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #204 on: October 01, 2007, 11:44:58 AM »
willsmith mao na imong banana???

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #205 on: October 02, 2007, 08:10:03 AM »
o mao ni sija.  kauban namo si lassie sa movie ganie nga "lassie".  diha man to sija'y tour sa charlotte para ipromote ang ijang movie. 

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #206 on: October 02, 2007, 08:21:04 AM »
really? si Lassie gyud na sha??? can u send me that pic sa akong email??? please???

he seemed a very good dog...

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #207 on: October 02, 2007, 09:06:00 AM »
o jud si lassie na.  morag 2006 man siguro to nga movie niya.  miari man siya sa charlotte, maong miadto mi.  naa bitaw caption, sila man gatake ana nga picture then gipadala namo, kay fans kunohay mi ni lassie.  asa man nako isend nga email.  naa ba ka email add sa imo profile?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #208 on: October 02, 2007, 09:07:23 AM »

Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #209 on: October 04, 2007, 01:23:04 AM »

"Sweetheart,delayed ako ng isang buwan. Kagagaling ko lang sa doktor. Pero huwag mong sabihin kahit kanino, kung hindi mapapahiya lang ako kapag di nagkatotoo."
Kinaumagahan, merong dumating na taga-Meralco. Pagbukas ng pinto, sabi niya,
"Ale, delayed ho kayo ng isang buwan."
"Kanino mo nalaman ito?" tanong ni ELA.
"Nandito ho nakasulat sa records namin," sagot ng taga-Meralco.
"Talaga? Nakasulat sa records ninyo?"
Sa sumunod na araw, si MUNIR ay dumating galit na galit sa counter ng Meralco.
"Paano niyo nalaman na delayed ng isang buwan ang misis ko?
"Konting pasensya lang ho. Kung gusto niyong mawala sa records namin ito, magbayad na lang kayo," sagot ng isang empleyado.
"Eh, kung ayaw kong magbayad?" tanong ni MUNIR.
"Puputulan ho namin kayo," sagot ng empleyado.
"Kung puputulan niyo ako, anong gagamitin ng misis ko?"
SAgot ng Taga meralco "Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng
kandila, di ba

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hazel

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #210 on: October 04, 2007, 01:29:53 AM »

aahhahahahahhahahha wa magka sinabot...insik cguro na ug hapon. ;D

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #211 on: October 04, 2007, 02:24:45 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #212 on: October 04, 2007, 02:52:44 AM »
hahaha brayt diay kaayo na si mister ug misis lol

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #213 on: October 04, 2007, 02:55:05 AM »

ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #214 on: October 04, 2007, 08:40:32 AM »

"Sweetheart,delayed ako ng isang buwan. Kagagaling ko lang sa doktor. Pero huwag mong sabihin kahit kanino, kung hindi mapapahiya lang ako kapag di nagkatotoo."
Kinaumagahan, merong dumating na taga-Meralco. Pagbukas ng pinto, sabi niya,
"Ale, delayed ho kayo ng isang buwan."
"Kanino mo nalaman ito?" tanong ni ELA.
"Nandito ho nakasulat sa records namin," sagot ng taga-Meralco.
"Talaga? Nakasulat sa records ninyo?"
Sa sumunod na araw, si MUNIR ay dumating galit na galit sa counter ng Meralco.
"Paano niyo nalaman na delayed ng isang buwan ang misis ko?
"Konting pasensya lang ho. Kung gusto niyong mawala sa records namin ito, magbayad na lang kayo," sagot ng isang empleyado.
"Eh, kung ayaw kong magbayad?" tanong ni MUNIR.
"Puputulan ho namin kayo," sagot ng empleyado.
"Kung puputulan niyo ako, anong gagamitin ng misis ko?"
SAgot ng Taga meralco "Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng
kandila, di ba





bwahahahhahahahahhaahhahhhhah

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #215 on: October 04, 2007, 02:59:15 PM »
Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa
kanto namin
(dumaan ang mister nya...)
Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?
Mister: Yoko sayo kamukha mo misis ko!

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bulak

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #216 on: October 04, 2007, 04:00:42 PM »
hahaha hapit diay sila mag unay....

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hazel

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #217 on: October 04, 2007, 05:06:16 PM »

hahahahaha ayaw na buhata sa future nimo barbs ha

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asianfairy

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #218 on: October 04, 2007, 05:07:44 PM »
wa gihapon mailad si mister...:-))))

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #219 on: October 05, 2007, 02:10:45 PM »
abtik mataha diay kay wa man magpailad.

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #220 on: October 07, 2007, 10:18:10 AM »
Mihimo ang psychiatrist sa iyahang binuwan nga tsek-ap sa mga pasyente sa mental ward. Tungod kay ubay-ubay ang mga pasyente, nakahukom siya nga dili na lang niya tagsa-tagsaon pag-eksamen ang mga pasyente.

Busa, gisulayan niya ang mga pasyente. Gisugo niya ang iyang staff pag-drowing og usa ka pultahan diha sa bungbong sulod sa kwarto sa mga pasyente. Nakasaksi ang tanang pasyente sa pagpintal sa staff sa maong pultahan diha sa bungbong.

Makailad kaayo ang pultahan nga gi-drowing. Mora gayud kini'g tinuod. Lakip ang doorknob sa pultahan mora sa'g tinuod.

Pagkahuman na sa pultahan, miingon ang psychiatrist ngadto sa mga pasyente, "Kinsa kadtong buot nga mouli na sa ilaha, mahimong mogawas agi nianang pultahan sa bungbong."

Pagkadungog sa mga pasyente, naglumbaanay sila'g dagan paingon sa gi-drowing nga pultahan. Nag-inilogay sila pag-abli sa doorknob. Nagtinukmoray sila. Gisulayan gayud nila pagbira ang doorknob apan dili man gyud maabli, busa, ila na pu'ng gisulayan pagdasmag ang maong pultahan--wala gihapon maabli.

Nakapanglingo ang duktor. Wala pa gyud diay mangaayo kining iyang mga pasyente sa mental wared. Apan sa suok sa maong kwarto, nakamatikod ang duktor nga may usa ka pasyente nga wala mosalmot sa kalandrakas. Hilum lamang nga naglingkod ang maong pasyente sa lingkoranan dapit sa bintana. Ingon ang duktor sa iyang kaugalingon, "Taympa, mora'g maayo na man kining pasyenteha. Akong pangutan-on."

Miduol ang duktor sa pasyente ug nangutana, "Manoy, dili diay ka ganahan makagawas na niining mental ward?" Mitubag ang pasyente, "Ganahan man, Dok." Nakahunahuna ang duktor nga naayo na gyud kining pasyenteha, busa nangutana siya'g usab, "Unya, nganong wala man ka motabang sa imong mga kauban pag-abli nianang pultahan padulong sa gawas?"

Misiga ang mata sa pasyente, "Ngano gud intawong moapil ko? Mga boang man na silang tanan..." Mipahiyum ang duktor ug miingon sa kaugalingon, "Naayo na gyud kining pasyenteha."

Ug mikuot ang pasyente sa iyahang bulsa ug mipagawas sa usa ka bugkos nga yawe ug miingon sa duktor, "Mga tonto na silang tanan! Wala sila kahibalo nga naa nako ang yawe!"  



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #221 on: October 09, 2007, 04:38:44 AM »
"There's no perfect life, but we can let God fill it with perfect moments"

willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #222 on: October 10, 2007, 06:00:45 AM »

Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #223 on: October 15, 2007, 12:07:30 PM »
MGA KASABIHAN...

"Magkasinlakas lang ang muscles namin ni Pacquiao,
pero hindi talaga ako ang kalaban niya, bakit ba ang kulit ninyo?!" - VINA MORALES
***
"Anong akala mo sa akin, mayaman?! Nauubusan din ako ng pera!" - ATM
***
"You never even thanked me for making you happy,then you throw me away
just like that... I hate you for using me, for making my life full of sh**..." - TOILET PAPER
***
"Huwag po nating salubungin ang mga bumababa. Hindi po natin sila kamag-anak." - LRT OPERATOR
***
"Napaka-unfair ng buhay sa mundo... Bakit hindi ako pwedeng magmahal?!" - UKAY-UKAY
***
"You know, I feel I'm relaxing...you know... Thanks for da God...
To all Filipino, thanks for da supporti ng wid me..." - MANNY PACQUIAO
***
''Biktima rin ako ng abortion." - BALUT
*** ***
"Huwag mong sabihing pinaiyak kita dahil una mo akong sinaktan." - SIBUYAS
***
"Panakip-butas lang ba talaga ako?" - PANTY
***
"Halika, pag-initin mo ako! Kailangan kong p umutok upang ako'y iyong
matikman at ika'y masarapan...ayaaan na! Malapit na!!! Puputok na!!! Aaaaahhhh..." - POPCORN
***
"Huwag mo akong sisihin kung cold man ako dahil
hindi naman ako magmamatigas kung binigyan mo lang sana ako ng konting importansya!" - KANING LAMIG
***
"Hindi lahat ng alak, nakalalasing." - ALAK-SAN
***
"Hindi lahat ng 13, malas." - 13th MONTH PAY
***
"Hindi lahat ng lumilipad ay superhero." - MANANANGGAL
***
"Hindi lahat ng bumabagsak ay nagsa-summer." - ERIK MORALES
***
"Hindi lahat ng ngipin ay puti." - BLUETOOTH
***
"Nandito ako sa harap ng bahay ninyo." - GATE
***
"Bakit mo 'ko binibitin kung kailan kainitan at basang -basa ako?" - SINAMPAY
***
"Lagi mo akong yakap. Nakapatong lagi ang hita mo sa
katawan ko. 'Yun pala, tutulugan mo lang ako..." - UNAN
***
"Masayang-masaya ako, kasi, ang dami kong date!" - KALENDARYO
***
"Nagtatanong lang naman ako pero huwag mo naman
akong murahin kapag hindi mo masagot." - TEST PAPER
***
"Ang sarap haplusin ng buo mong katawan... at dumampi sa parteng ako lang ang nakagagawa.
Masarap, di ba? Pero bandang huli,iiwan mo lang ako sa isang tabi..." - TUWALYA

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willmerit

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #224 on: October 15, 2007, 12:13:52 PM »
hehehhe very funny pero tinood jud.

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #225 on: October 15, 2007, 12:54:45 PM »
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING
( E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T.,you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
 



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #226 on: October 18, 2007, 08:03:26 AM »
daghang kabuang ni si Barbaro oi!!!

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #227 on: October 18, 2007, 05:07:38 PM »
lolo: juan kanang yuta sa likod sa atong balay na 5 ka iktarya ba ayaw na ninyo ibaligya ha ug mamatay nako

juan: lo dili mana atoa ang yuta sa likod sa atong balay

lolo: mao gani na ayaw ninyo ug ibaligya kai dili na atoa..hahahahah  

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #228 on: October 18, 2007, 06:02:55 PM »
hahaha, daghan man diay ka ug S.H.I.T. Barbs

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #229 on: October 20, 2007, 08:09:52 PM »
Imbitasyon sa kasal
Naa koy amiga nga si GEMA ELOC, kaslonon kang EDGAR CABAHUG.
Wala sila modayon pagpakasal kay wala kauyon sa invitation card: “CABAHUG-ELOC nuptial”

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #230 on: October 21, 2007, 09:05:59 PM »
wala guroy bisita manganha lol

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #231 on: October 29, 2007, 03:34:09 PM »
Home version of who wants to be a millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #232 on: October 30, 2007, 07:18:13 AM »
naa diay  lifeline si banana...



hala ug di available ang lifeline 1 kay ang audience (nagbasa) man ang lifeline 2 ???  ::)  :o

 :P

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #233 on: October 30, 2007, 12:26:10 PM »
naa diay  lifeline si banana...



hala ug di available ang lifeline 1 kay ang audience (nagbasa) man ang lifeline 2 ???  ::)  :o

 :P

Na ayaw nalang ka tubag og final kay aron dile motawag og lifeline. ha ha ha..

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #234 on: October 30, 2007, 01:18:59 PM »
wahahahhahhahhahhahhahhaha

tulog na ko oi!

daghan shu-ang diri...

heheheheheheh

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #235 on: November 05, 2007, 02:25:17 PM »
wala guroy bisita manganha lol

A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...

SPIELBERG hit the chinese...

CHINESE: why did you hit me?

SPIELBERG: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor, my father died there.

CHINESE: but I am  a chinese not a Japanese, stupid!

SPIELBERG: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same! ... chinese punched Spielberg

SPIELBERG: and why did you hit me too?

CHINESE: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.

SPIELBERG: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!

CHINESE: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!

 



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #236 on: November 06, 2007, 05:16:33 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #237 on: November 07, 2007, 03:46:01 AM »
I've heard that joke before, but it still make me smile ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #238 on: November 07, 2007, 05:20:58 PM »
Usapan ng dalawang bata...
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, 'yang Pacific Ocean, siya anghumukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #239 on: November 07, 2007, 11:55:11 PM »
A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...

SPIELBERG hit the chinese...

CHINESE: why did you hit me?

SPIELBERG: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor, my father died there.

CHINESE: but I am  a chinese not a Japanese, stupid!

SPIELBERG: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same! ... chinese punched Spielberg

SPIELBERG: and why did you hit me too?

CHINESE: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.

SPIELBERG: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!

CHINESE: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!

 







Wahahhahhhahahahha

i love it!!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #240 on: November 08, 2007, 04:27:19 AM »
Usapan ng dalawang bata...
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, 'yang Pacific Ocean, siya anghumukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo 'yung Dead Sea?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!


hahaha like this

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #241 on: November 08, 2007, 04:29:33 AM »

mangtawa nalang ta haps taliwala sa kasapot!

ahahahahhahahahahahhaa
hahahahhahahahaahaahah

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #242 on: November 08, 2007, 04:30:34 AM »
ngano gisapot man ginger?  mao jud ikatawa na kay para way wrinkles.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #243 on: November 08, 2007, 04:32:43 AM »

kabalo naka willsmith naay nagpa hipi dihang mga tawong ksp. hay! ambot!

gimingaw nalang kos ahong clown, si Barbaro.

mangatawa nalang ta oi...hehehehhehehe

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #244 on: November 08, 2007, 04:34:43 AM »
mao jud.  sige ko basa aring mga thread, naa pod koy gikalagutan.  nakamenos nato.  maayo pang sa jokes na lang ta kay makatawa pa, bisan ako ra usa ari, namorag shuang kay gasigeg agik ik sa mga jokes

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #245 on: November 08, 2007, 04:47:14 AM »
hahaha halæa katwa aron mawagtabng ang wrinkles haha..

Remeber nga, Laughter is the best medicine ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #246 on: November 08, 2007, 04:48:03 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #247 on: November 08, 2007, 08:39:02 PM »
mangtawa nalang ta haps taliwala sa kasapot!

ahahahahhahahahahahhaa
hahahahhahahahaahaahah

Nganong gisapot man ka, Ging?  Ug kinsay imong gika-saputan?  Hinaut nga dili ako. :'(

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #248 on: November 09, 2007, 12:51:54 AM »
Don't worry sigbin dili ikaw iyang gikasaputan :)

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #249 on: November 09, 2007, 02:02:45 AM »
Nganong gisapot man ka, Ging?  Ug kinsay imong gika-saputan?  Hinaut nga dili ako. :'(

Dili ikaw. Si kuan ***! :P

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #250 on: November 10, 2007, 02:52:09 AM »
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #251 on: November 10, 2007, 05:42:53 AM »
hahaha....unsa diay ang iyang Gf? nga sila man duha ang ama, pagka intonses na na ron.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #252 on: November 10, 2007, 06:39:05 PM »
BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama.

;D ;D ;D  At kailangan nating pakasalan si Inday. ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #253 on: November 11, 2007, 05:47:55 AM »
;D ;D ;D  At kailangan nating pakasalan si Inday. ;D


Hahahaha...Sigbin tulo namo kay mo apil diay pod ka? Sikat jod mga Inday oy!


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #254 on: November 11, 2007, 12:18:59 PM »
perti jud nakong katawa sa S.H.I.T. topic... waahahahahaha... thanks Lex!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #255 on: November 12, 2007, 08:23:24 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #256 on: November 12, 2007, 08:24:48 AM »
2 ka amiga hubog sa bar. Paguli, niagi sa cemetery. Nangalibang ang duha. Ang usa gigamit ang panty para itrapo ug gilabay; ug ang usa, nakakitag wreth sa lubong ug maoy gitrapo.
Pagkabuntag, ang ilang bana nagkita
Bitoy: Pre, bantayan nato ang atong mga misis, ang ako nipauli kagabii wa nay panty.
Berting: Ang ako mas grabe pre dunay card nipilit sa iyang lobot nga nag-ingon, well never forget you, from all the guys at the Fire Dept.!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #257 on: November 17, 2007, 07:48:01 PM »
hahahaha i like this one, ver funny!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #258 on: November 21, 2007, 04:52:04 PM »
2 ka amiga hubog sa bar. Paguli, niagi sa cemetery. Nangalibang ang duha. Ang usa gigamit ang panty para itrapo ug gilabay; ug ang usa, nakakitag wreth sa lubong ug maoy gitrapo.
Pagkabuntag, ang ilang bana nagkita
Bitoy: Pre, bantayan nato ang atong mga misis, ang ako nipauli kagabii wa nay panty.
Berting: Ang ako mas grabe pre dunay card nipilit sa iyang lobot nga nag-ingon, well never forget you, from all the guys at the Fire Dept.!

maayo pod na usahay, ma insecure sila as long as dili tinood, bwaaaaaaaahaha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #259 on: November 23, 2007, 12:08:45 PM »
Girl: Excuse me, were can I find the vibrators?
Clerk: Sa wall po nakadisplay maam
Girl: Ok Ill buy that big red one.
Clerk: Ay bruha! Fire Extinguisher yan!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #260 on: November 23, 2007, 02:38:03 PM »
wa diay to kaila ug fire extinguisher?  looya pod

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #261 on: November 24, 2007, 12:14:53 PM »
Eto...try nyo kong matatawa kayo nito..hehehe

Walang Hapunan, Eh!

Bagong salta sa Manhattan sa New York si Bertulfo at ang Misis niya kaya nakitira muna sila sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay ng isang kamag-anak na kasalukuyang nagbabakasyon sa Pilipinas.

Ilang araw nang naghahanap ng trabaho si Bertulfo ngunit talagang mahirap makakita ng trabaho sa kapanahunang iyon. Pagkaraan ng ilang araw, napansin ni Bertulfo at ng misis niya na naubos na ang kanilang baong pera.

Kinaumagahan, pagkagising ni Bertulfo at misis niya, alam nila na wala silang agahan. Ibinulong ni Bertulfo sa misis niya, "Wala na tayong agahan. Magtalik na lang tayo upang makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating agahan!" At nagtalik ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at and kaniyang misis.

Umalis na si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Katanghalian, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Wika niya sa Misis niya, "Wala pa rin akong trabaho, kaya wala pa rin tayong pera. Mabuti pa, magtalik na lang muli tayo para makalimutan natin ang ating gutom. Yun na lang ang ating pananghalian!" At nagtalik muli ang mag-asawang si Bertulfo at ang kaniyang misis.

Umalis muli si Bertulfo upang maghanap muli ng trabaho. Kinagabihan, bumalik sa bahay si Bertulfo. Nakita ni Bertulfo na umakyat ang misis niya sa tuktok ng hagdanan. Pagkatapos, ay sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Muling umakyat sa tuktok ng hagdanan ang misis niya at muling sumakay sa gabay ng hagdanan at muling nagpadausos pababa ang misis niya. Makailang paulit-ulit na ginawa ito ng misis ni Bertulfo.

Hindi maintindihan ni Bertulfo ang ginagawa ng misis niya kaya napilitan siyang magtanong, "Ano nga bang talaga ang ginagawa mo?"

Sagot ng misis ni Bertulfo, "Alam kong uuwi kang walang trabaho't wala pa ring pera, kaya ini-init ko na itong ating hapunan..."

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #262 on: November 26, 2007, 09:30:02 AM »
Girl: Excuse me, were can I find the vibrators?
Clerk: Sa wall po nakadisplay maam
Girl: Ok Ill buy that big red one.
Clerk: Ay bruha! Fire Extinguisher yan!

Hala kuyawa pod na barbs, way makalupig ana bisan african american, bwaaaaa haha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #263 on: November 26, 2007, 11:23:52 AM »
wahahahahahhhahahahha

fire extinguisher!!!!!


ahahhahhahahhahahhhahhahahaa

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #264 on: November 27, 2007, 06:35:39 AM »
Hahaha mao jihapon diay ang ila pagkaon ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #265 on: November 28, 2007, 05:24:36 AM »
Girl: Excuse me, were can I find the vibrators?
Clerk: Sa wall po nakadisplay maam
Girl: Ok Ill buy that big red one.
Clerk: Ay bruha! Fire Extinguisher yan!

hahhahahhahahahhahahhaa

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #266 on: November 28, 2007, 05:34:17 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #267 on: December 01, 2007, 03:43:20 AM »
pastilan!!! manakit ang atong tiyan dereg kinatawa... bwahahaahahahaa...

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #268 on: December 01, 2007, 08:25:53 AM »
saman swakee naa bakay ikadalit diha para mapun an ning atong katawa?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #269 on: December 02, 2007, 03:01:56 AM »
saman swakee naa bakay ikadalit diha para mapun an ning atong katawa?
wa jud ko'y talent ana Will... ambot ug asa ni gipang-pirate ning mga jokes ni Barbaro oi...

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #270 on: December 02, 2007, 10:00:15 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #271 on: December 05, 2007, 07:31:03 AM »
Buknoy: Oi pare, ano spelling ng 'Orange'?
Tukmol: Ang hina mo naman pare! Anong gusto mo i-spell ko...yung
color o yung prutas?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #272 on: December 05, 2007, 07:36:46 AM »
hahahahaha! i like that one, Mr. Barb

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #273 on: December 05, 2007, 07:58:02 AM »
Advantage at Disadvantage ng may asawa...

Advantage: Pag Kailangan mo nandiyan agad...
Disadvantage: Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan pa rin!



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #274 on: December 06, 2007, 05:11:52 AM »
A boy wrote a letter to his mom:
Dear Mom,
Don't look for me. Im now away. Im in love with Sara. She's 27 and her
baby is 9 months. I know I'm just 15, but I really love her, Ma. I want you
to know we're okay. I'm selling marijuana and she's selling her body in
order
for us to live. We wish there is cure for AIDS so she will be fine. By
the way,
Ma, she aborted our 1st baby. She said we can always make another one.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to personally say goodbye.
P.S: Di ma, joke lang. Dito lang ako sa kapitbahay. Uuwe din ako mamaya.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #275 on: December 06, 2007, 05:19:31 AM »
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #276 on: December 06, 2007, 07:37:40 AM »
A boy wrote a letter to his mom:
Dear Mom,
Don't look for me. Im now away. Im in love with Sara. She's 27 and her
baby is 9 months. I know I'm just 15, but I really love her, Ma. I want you
to know we're okay. I'm selling marijuana and she's selling her body in
order
for us to live. We wish there is cure for AIDS so she will be fine. By
the way,
Ma, she aborted our 1st baby. She said we can always make another one.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to personally say goodbye.
P.S: Di ma, joke lang. Dito lang ako sa kapitbahay. Uuwe din ako mamaya.

Kulbaa man ni barbs, maayo gani kay way sakit sa puso ang iyang mama, he he



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #277 on: December 06, 2007, 08:24:54 PM »
Buknoy: Oi pare, ano spelling ng 'Orange'?
Tukmol: Ang hina mo naman pare! Anong gusto mo i-spell ko...yung
color o yung prutas?

hhahahhahaha how about ang ube? ;D ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #278 on: December 07, 2007, 06:00:13 AM »
Buknoy: Oi pare, ano spelling ng 'Orange'?
Tukmol: Ang hina mo naman pare! Anong gusto mo i-spell ko...yung
color o yung prutas?

hahaha pwede both ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #279 on: December 11, 2007, 01:12:57 AM »
Sugod sa A

Gorio: Tagnaa unsay labing nindot nakong batasan, nagsugod sa A.
Juan: Aprutsabol?
Gorio: Wrong!
Juan: Abilabol?
Gorio: Wrong gihapon!
Juan: Unsa man diay?
Gorio: Anist!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #280 on: December 11, 2007, 02:56:47 AM »

ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #281 on: December 11, 2007, 02:59:23 AM »
wahahahhahhahhahahha

huy Anist ka sa imong baje, Barbaro?????


wahahahhahhahhahahhaahhahha

mabuang ko sa anak nga naa ra sa silingan nag sulat sa ijang nanay!!

haaaay amboooot!!!!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #282 on: December 11, 2007, 04:01:58 AM »
Tindira nag gukod sa customer na ning
palit og balot nga nahabilin ang
asin...
TINDERA: sir, sir, asini imong itlog!!
KUSTOMER: day kung naboang naka, kana
lang imo bi....t   asini..!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #283 on: December 11, 2007, 04:20:15 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #284 on: December 11, 2007, 04:26:54 AM »
Q: Unsay englis sa iring?
A: CAT

Q: Kanang iring kusog molangoy sa
dagat?
A: Supercat

Q: Kanang iring nga nakaila ang tanan?
A: Sicat

Q: Kanang iring nabuntagan sa plaza?
A: buricat ???

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #285 on: December 11, 2007, 04:32:40 AM »
wahahehehhehehehahahahhahhehehehhah

POKPOK as in??

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #286 on: December 11, 2007, 04:38:55 AM »
"lola sa taxi"
lola: para dong , para dong,dre rako.

driver: oi nanglapas man ta manang... e -U-turn
lang ka nko.

lola: sure ka imo ko iyo...ton? ganahan
ko ana.
wla raba ko mamante... ;) ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #287 on: December 11, 2007, 05:37:08 AM »
stone kay modern naman karon ang ila tawag guest relation officer.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #288 on: December 11, 2007, 05:37:16 AM »

hahhahahhah tawn sad si lola. na bungol na gayud. ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #289 on: December 11, 2007, 07:57:04 PM »
Juan: Bay Pedro, pananglitan kung ikaw ug usa ka amerikana nasaag sa lasang. Unya dihay mga igorot nga nagukod ninyo. Sa daplin sa sapa, nakakita ka ug sakayan. Pero, usa ra ka pasahero ang masulod aning sakayana.. Unsa may buhaton nimo?

Pedro: Aw, biyaan na lang nakong amerikana, Bay. Bahala nag unsa kagwapa nang Amerikanaha na. Luwason nako akong kaugalingon. Ikaw, Bay unsa may buhaton nimo?

Juan: Bugo ka man diay, Bay. Akong isul-ob ang amerikana una ko mosakay sa sakayan.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #290 on: December 11, 2007, 08:04:21 PM »
Juan: Bay Pedro, pananglitan kung ikaw ug usa ka amerikana nasaag sa lasang. Unya dihay mga igorot nga nagukod ninyo. Sa daplin sa sapa, nakakita ka ug sakayan. Pero, usa ra ka pasahero ang masulod aning sakayana.. Unsa may buhaton nimo?

Pedro: Aw, biyaan na lang nakong amerikana, Bay. Bahala nag unsa kagwapa nang Amerikanaha na. Luwason nako akong kaugalingon. Ikaw, Bay unsa may buhaton nimo?

Juan: Bugo ka man diay, Bay. Akong isul-ob ang amerikana una ko mosakay sa sakayan.

hahahahahahahhahaha hastang bugu-a joddddddddd tabangiiiiiiiii tawon.....

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #291 on: December 11, 2007, 08:06:57 PM »

barbs, palit na didto amerkana kaw...wehehehhehhehehehe

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #292 on: December 12, 2007, 12:44:05 AM »
harharharharharharharharharhhh

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lindy

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #293 on: December 12, 2007, 03:49:33 AM »
ginger wala to nabungol si lola, gihidlaw lang hahahaha.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #294 on: December 12, 2007, 06:36:01 AM »
Juan: Bay Pedro, pananglitan kung ikaw ug usa ka amerikana nasaag sa lasang. Unya dihay mga igorot nga nagukod ninyo. Sa daplin sa sapa, nakakita ka ug sakayan. Pero, usa ra ka pasahero ang masulod aning sakayana.. Unsa may buhaton nimo?

Pedro: Aw, biyaan na lang nakong amerikana, Bay. Bahala nag unsa kagwapa nang Amerikanaha na. Luwason nako akong kaugalingon. Ikaw, Bay unsa may buhaton nimo?

Juan: Bugo ka man diay, Bay. Akong isul-ob ang amerikana una ko mosakay sa sakayan.

ataka woi... hehehehehehehe

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #295 on: December 12, 2007, 10:25:02 AM »

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #296 on: December 12, 2007, 10:30:25 AM »
Anong sabi ni sipon kay kulangot????






MANIGAS KA!






Ano ang sabi nang kabilang kili-kili sa isang kili-kili?????






WLANG MAGPAPAPUTOK!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #297 on: December 12, 2007, 07:02:29 PM »
Student: Tagpila inyo rice?

Tindera: Tag 5!

Student: And dukot?

Tindera: Libre..

Student: Dukot nalang... Ang baka tagpila?

Tindera: Tag 15..!

Student: Ang sabaw?

Tindera: Libre!

Student: Sabaw lang...

(Paghuman ug kaon sa student...)

Student: Naa moy Coke?

Tindera: (kani ay, mopalit na jud ni) Tag 10 dong!..

Student: Usa sad ana palihug... (dala ku-ot sa bulsa) Dara o, tansan... Free Coke!  

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #298 on: December 12, 2007, 07:22:42 PM »
Student: Tagpila inyo rice?

Tindera: Tag 5!

Student: And dukot?

Tindera: Libre..

Student: Dukot nalang... Ang baka tagpila?

Tindera: Tag 15..!

Student: Ang sabaw?

Tindera: Libre!

Student: Sabaw lang...

(Paghuman ug kaon sa student...)

Student: Naa moy Coke?

Tindera: (kani ay, mopalit na jud ni) Tag 10 dong!..

Student: Usa sad ana palihug... (dala ku-ot sa bulsa) Dara o, tansan... Free Coke!  


very...goooood...soooo clever...hahahahahaha
ako na sundogon maka-uli ko pohon---promise whehehehehe

sayang wla ko ana maka-atik sa student pako duh..maka-save unta kog allowance hihihihihi

huuh usa fah mga dear ky mo-volunteer kog adto sa Mental..di nako matabang dre ;D ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #299 on: December 12, 2007, 07:34:54 PM »
bitaw no?  wa pod ko kasuway ani da.  lain man to style ilang yaya menilro sauna kay combo man, way libre sabaw

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