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benelynne

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I noticed that more than half of our overseas members here are married to foreigners.

Although there's already a thread asking the hypothetical question of whether one would marry a person with a different culture, I would like to know about the major cultural, social or linguistic adjustments our Boholana ladies who are already married to such foreigners are making.

Please cite specific incidents, situations, cultural aspects, etc. How are you coping?

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C2H4

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« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2007, 09:02:16 AM »
I am married to a good ol' country boy from the South. To be honest, there wasn't any major adjustment on my part. The transition from a single Boholana to a married woman with a dili ingon nato husband was relatively easy for me. Ang medyo frustrating lang for me in the beginning (and in fact, until now) was communicating with people here. Naglisod ko'g sabot sa ilang southern accent, some have really thick southern drawls. Mao ra jud na akong mahuna hunaan.

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orChids

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« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2007, 02:06:52 PM »
All I did on my marriage is to adjust..I have to be patient and have to learn everything,from the the way to speak,to cook,and everything.All the people who sorrounds me can't speak english,g***!for every ceremony like wedding,burial,etc.I felt like a vase,I don't know where to stand or set...I will be lucky if my husband remember that I'm with him..coz' he's not that supportive and gentleman and I don't expect for it.SOmetimes I wanna cry,but all I have to think is that this will just pass by and the important to have as a gain is the lesson.
First is the coldness during winter,I hate winter time until now.I remember when my husband went to Indonesia for his business,I was left in our home with my 3 kids.T'was so cold and I need to put some kerosene for our fan heater,The kerosene tank is located at the back of our house,but I just can't have the kerosene that easy coz' the snow covered the tank more than a meter...so I shoveled the place at 9 pm..I can't imagine the pain of both hands not just the coldness,and feet so hard to move.

I had a hard time with those traitors..I know this is not a good word to say,but this is the only word I know to describe this sisters of my husband.Been so good all my life,But when my father in -law died,they turn into snakes,because of the "pamana"..You're right Sir Benne on the other thread.It will be a long story,but me as the daughter of Dagohoy never just turn about.1 vs 4 of them in a war.I fight for my right.And I did,now I have to celebrate my liberty every November.It gave me a mild stroke,that I can't move half of my body because of stress,..good thing that God is with me and I'm recovered.

I have lots of things to share,but geee it's time to fetch for my girl..to be continue...

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willmerit

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« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2007, 02:38:27 PM »
there were some mild adjustments like the foods and cooking (kay wa ko naanad mangluto, hehehehhe), cold weather, and the lifestyle here 'coz it's  too fast and everything is in a hurry.
dako jud nakong pasalamat ni Lord kay akong mga sis in law ok ra baja pod,  ug ang akong mother in law pinangga ko.   mao rana akong nahunahunaan sa pagkakaron.

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Bambi

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« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2007, 06:43:36 PM »

Hi,

Congratulations for having those wonderful/pretty kids!

Your life experiences here in your area is quite interesting, I feel it.  I am very interested to read the continuation of your life family story.
Thanks for sharing it to us......God bless you and your Family over there!

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PrincessSaDagat

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« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2007, 01:03:42 AM »
I love seafood and he likes meat and potatoes.

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Happy

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« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2007, 01:15:46 AM »
Hi everyone :)

I married to a man who lives 2 hours drive from the city, so i guess i can call him country boy too, just like C2 :)

The only major adjustment myself here is the weather, culture and language.

I don't have problems with my hubbies family as they accepted me totally as part of their family and they are very nice to me. I didn't have to adjust the food because I like their food here, and my hubby eats everything I cook. So I consider myself very lucky.

And one thing is no one should say i married for money, as my hubby doesn't even have savings, we save together for our future and we save together so we can buy a ticket to visit my family in the Philippines.
"There's no perfect life, but we can let God fill it with perfect moments"

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grazie7y

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« Reply #7 on: November 07, 2007, 04:43:57 AM »
I am a Boholana, married to an authentic Kenyan guy and living in America.  Doesn't it sound head-spinning enough?  Technically, I have to adjust to the culture of America and to my husband's culture but good to know we are experiencing both and it wasn't bad at all.

English as the spoken language is not a problem.  I guess I can talk well especially if I am mad. heheheh Kenya was colonized by the Brits but my husband has kind of eliminated already his ala-Simon Cowell accent by the time we met although there's still a little accent of their local and national language, Kikuyu and Swahili, respectively.  I guess he is also having this little problem with me.  One time I said twenty (for $20), and he said huh? I said, twentie! hahaha He figured it out, he said, ah twenie!  Like I also said, Sacramento, he smiled and he said, Sacramenow!  Why do they have to put "t" in Sacramento if they are not reading it!  I commented like Americans don't read and speak right! hahahah In fairness to him, he is learning Bisaya so good!  When I am jabbering with my sisters and aunt, he would observe then ask about it and would use the words in as much as he could.  I do the same too!  I surf the net and learn new terms.  I say I love you to him in Swahili - Nakupenda! or Asante for Thank you!  I also cook for him his native dishes (courtesy of gogole) to his surprise!

Overall, we didn't really have a hard time adjusting with each other.  If there adjustment to make, it wasn't because of our differing cultures but of the issue of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".  I am a headstrong woman so that's already an issue. heheheh

Oh, I remember one that was the first sign of difference in our table culture which was easily corrected/adjusted.  The first dinner I prepared, I had spoon and fork on the table.  After saying grace, he wasn't eating yet.  He said I missed some things: the knife and the soup for the spoon.  I said we don't have soup!  Here, they just use fork and knife and the spoon is just for soup.
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Happy

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« Reply #8 on: November 07, 2007, 04:48:17 AM »
Nice story grace ;D

I have a Kenyan friend here, she's going to language school too :)

grazie7y

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« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2007, 05:09:26 AM »
Mao ba Cel?  Ingna dayon pagkita ninyo Habari of Jambo!

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« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2007, 05:10:38 AM »
Unsa mana?
Humana ka tulog?

C2H4

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« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2007, 12:57:08 PM »
Hi Ms Grazie!

Pag share pud ug Kenyan recipes, para maka try pud mi'g prepare.

 ;D

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« Reply #12 on: November 07, 2007, 01:01:51 PM »

Greetings na nila, Cel - How are you and Hello, respectively.

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« Reply #13 on: November 07, 2007, 01:06:25 PM »

The easiest, Ms. C2, kanang ilang ginatawag na Ugali (sounds familiar ba? :D)  It's actually a nilung-ag na binlod with a little olive oil and salt.  Kaila la binlod?  Kna bitaw mura numero 14 na mais.  I think that's their equivalent to polenta in Italian cuisine.

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« Reply #14 on: November 07, 2007, 01:09:41 PM »

Mapalit na sa grocery store dire ang binlod? That was my fave too sa Bohol sa una, lami kaayo na butangan mantika ug toyo, lami pud kaayo na i-pares sa inun-unan. Yum yum yum! So kanang Ugali, just cook the binlod, then mix with olive oil and salt? Is there any particular Kenyan meat dish that you like?


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« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2007, 01:26:18 PM »

Yes, kanang corn grits.  Naa gani nay white or yellow in a box in the baking section of your grocery store.  It's better man gud to eat corn instead of always eating rice especially for diabetics like my dear hubby coz dili man dali ma convert into simple sugar ang corn.  Their food is actually simple.  Sometimes, instead of Ugali, I make Githeri.  It's a mixture of equal parts of whole kernel corn (the hard ones) and beans, boiled to tender.  I like their Sukuma Wiki.  Mura lang na sya gulay na collared greens gisubakan ug leftover carne or fish.  Btw, Sukuma Wiki means "push the week" - actually ang gi push ang family food budget.

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« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2007, 01:34:28 PM »

It's very similar diay to Pinoy food in that respect noh? Kita gi utilize man jud nato tanan parts sa isda or manok, baboy or baka...push the week pud and Pinoy cuisine.


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« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2007, 01:40:23 PM »
Sakto ka, ms. c2!  Ma imagine nako tong gulay ni mother gi subakan ug tinap-an tulingan or pansit sa akong lola gisahugan ug left over adobo.  At least healthy ang ilang food.  I still have to see a recipe that uses a cup of butter or cream but sahay, i drop a cube of butter in the Ugali - just a little treat ba lang.  Kenyans also have Chapati - like the fry bread of the Native Americans or our syakoy hehehe. 

Speaking of utilizing all parts of manok, I remember ga bakasyon sa Bohol among mga pag umangkon from Davao.  Wa man daw toy kwarta silang Daddy so sige lang sud-an ug tiil sa manok.  Kadugayan ingon tawon akong niece, Daddylo, palagi nlang tawo kain ng kamay sa manok oi!

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« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2007, 01:44:11 PM »
The only major adjustments i had when i got married was when he never wanted me to work...i grew up working very hard to death to earn not until i was with him... it was my biggest transition sense i work all the time , woke up early every single day. It took me several months to adjust not to wake up early and go straight to the shower...Now my husband don't even want me to wake up early.  :D
When i'm up early, he would ask me what made me got up early?,in other words i never was pampered in my life. He never complain about food, if i cook or not. We ate separate most of the time, no big deal.

He runs the bank statement and all i have to do is ask...(which i never have had done from my men before). I always was very independent financially all my life, not til now. He is an ask whatever i can and he'll give it to me kind of a guy... which was very new to me...

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« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2007, 01:49:44 PM »
Miss Grazie: kaluoy sa bata, ning reklamo jud intawon, napul-an kaon tiil sa manok. Ako diay Ms Grazie, lamian kaayo ko'g tinae sa manok nga gi barbecue, yum yum yum

Miss Belle: Ka nindot anang imong banana oi, mura man ka'g rayna sa kingdom. Hehehe. Naa na'y kaluha kay mag upgrade ko? Ahahaha! Joke!

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