Guys, I have a revelation to share and I hope you can learn from it.
I had an extra-marital relation 2 years after my marriage. I got married 1992 and I must say that we never had a good marriage foundation since my job in the Philippines then requires me to be abroad often. At that time, my mind set--Im still a bachelor. My attachment to my barkada is more than to my family that eventually leads me to having an affair outside of marriage. This relationship goes on for about 3 months until the turning point of in my life came one early morning, I came home after spending the entire night with the girl. I saw my wife sleeping, then with our first child. That time, I asked myself what is this that Im doing with my family?
The following day, I split off with the girl but getting away from her is not that easy for aside from the fact that we belong to the same company, she never let go off me unless I agree to sire her a child.I was able to manage myself more than the girl manages herself. I hid this secret from my wife for so many and my concience is bothering me so much to the point that I'm turning the table against my wife, meaning I got easily jealous wherein fact there is nothing to be jealous of (maybe I was afraid of my own ghost).
Year 2002 when I decided to confess to her my sin. We had it in Tagaytay, just the two of us and I let go of my emotional baggage. The confession I made brought her indescribable pain. We cried on each other's shouder and we patched up everything. We kissed and make up and made a vow that I will never hurt her again. That reconciliation in Tagaytay resulted to our 3rd child.
While it is true that what she didnt know will never hurt her but I believed otherwise. The more youre not being truthful is the more you will hurt your partner. However, that revelation had a setback. In some instance, seeing a woman's name in my cellphone's address book or meeting attractive lady officemates of mine made her paranoid. Well it is the price that i have to pay but I can live with it. Sometimes, I just have to crack jokes just to make her feel relax, "Ikaw kasi mag-aasawa ka ng kamukha ni John Lloyd Cruz pagkatapos seselos-selos ka diyan?
Sometimes it pays to be truthful and make sure that the forgiveness given to you must be compensated with a utmost responsibility and respect, for this would make the relationship more stonger and matured. But convincing your wife to believe that you are already a good boy is another thing, well this could be another story to tell.
Marriage is a relationship between two forgiving partners.
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