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Remembering our loved ones

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udtohan

Remembering our loved ones
« on: October 27, 2007, 10:26:32 PM »
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bohol sunday post, october 28, 2007 issue


On November 1, All Saints Day, and November 2, All Souls Days, we troop to the cemetery to visit our dead ones. It is one way of assuring ourselves that our departed ones are truly gone temporarily separated from us. That one day we shall be together again in Heaven with our Maker.

Remembering our loved ones
Proem:
•   Food for the soul: Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.
•   Congratulations to Krizzia Rae Jabonillo of Bohol Wisdom School (BWS) who is this year’s champion in the National Population Quiz held on Oct. 22-26 at Tuguegarao City, Cagayan Valley. She was accompanied by coach Maria Lona Iway. Known as KringKring to friends, she describes herself as “simple but complicated!! That's me!! Get it? I'm a very "libog" person doesn't know the real me. Goes with the flow, ikanga. But I know my purpose. It is to live in this world to die and serve for HIM!!! BWS is also the champion of the Great High School Debate held Oct. 25 sponsored by the University of the Philippines Kadugong Bol-anon. Elirozz Carlie Labaria was hailed best debater.

What to do in Halloween?
In the US and other parts of Europe, October 31st is a day that children across the country anticipate. The thought of carving pumpkins, dressing up in costumes and having bags filled with treats is almost more than any kid can handle.
Here in the Philippines, Halloween is always associated with darkness and horror. Before, there is clearly no place in the Christian community for this “darker side” of Halloween.
Gone are the days when we are afraid of horror tales about ogres, duwendes, engkantos, etc and in fact, we love party during Halloween. While, our community is not yet immune of wearing anything on Halloween, perhaps this is a good time to celebrate Halloween as a simple gathering of family members.
Yesterday, I bought my Halloween costumes for Oct. 31 party (if there’s a party). You can check our malls for witch hats, Harry Potter outfits and masks. But you can be creative to have your own costumes. To parents to teach your children that Halloween is not about horror and the dark side, dress your children in costumes that focus on history, pretend or fantasy, rather than on the macabre or occult –– Bible heroes, flag, sailors, cowboys, Indians, ballerinas, princesses, doctors and firefighters.
Halloween is also a good time for family bonding and vacations.
Holla-ween hip-hop parties? For partyphiles, you can check Lazer at the Bohol Tropics and Atmosphere for best events and parties for you to spook out! I’ve heard that the Lazer Party Club prepares Halloween pranks, costume contest and Halloween hoedown.
This is also a good time for “kuwentong multo at kababalaghan” or goosebumps stories. Ask your grandparents and elders about priests with no heads, santilmo, tiyanak, duwende, tikbalang, nuno sa punso, white lady sa balete, etc. This is also your chance to be the next Lola Basyang of our time.
Maybe this also the right time to experience haunted, shadows and spirits tour. Visit the ancient graveyards in Guindulman and see the boat coffins in the cliffs of Barangay Basdio. You may contact Ondoy Pacatang- 0915-939-9069. After Guindulman, you can visit Anda to see the miraculous Inday Potenciana Saranza. If you’re in Anda, don’t miss to visit Lamanok Point for a tourism purposes. For Anda tours, you may contact Arvin Rubillos at 09263555370. You can visit Ermita Ruins in Poblacion, Dimiao. The site is an ancient graveyard during the Spanish era. I’m not saying you should visit these places during Halloween. You can go anytime if you want to know more of our history and culture.   
For more haunted tours, try to visit haunted hospitals and buildings in your place.
Don’t try spirit of the glass, coin, ouija and ballpen. Don’t bother to talk to “unknown” spirits. The Church has forbidden this, so, behave and enjoy Halloween in harmless ways.


***
It’s All Saints and Souls Days. Time to meditate. Time to soul-search. Time to realize that we are mortals.
A colleague asked me, “How do you say goodbye?” For whom and to whom?, I asked back.
I could not help but to recall the death of my sister Ruth, who was then 17, died of leukemia four years ago.
Socialite chronicler Ethel Soliven-Timbol shared her insights about losing someone:
No matter how long a loved one takes to die, when the moment comes, the pain doesn’t hurt any less. Death, the say, is the best healer because after death, a person is freed of all human sufferings and illness. It is the loved ones left behind who must bear further pain and sorrow.
Sometimes, as we watch a loved one suffer through a long-drawn dreaded disease, we wish that his or her agony would stop, that s/he be released from it instantly—the IV tubes, endless injections, incisions, that awful respirator. We plead silently to the Almighty to have pity on our dear one...we have prayed that way once, long ago, during the last days of my sister whose leukemia and rheumatic heart disease, we begged God to heal her completely or to end it quickly to spare her the pain. Within weeks, my sister was gone. We kept inconsolably yet we thanked God for His kindness for calling her home.
Death is the reward for living. You have spent your time in the physical world with its negativity, heaviness and loneliness. Now comes the good part, when you can return home to the true existence and be welcomed back into the direct and ever-present grace of God.
Never fear dying for to die is gain. What happens to you after you die? People have always wanted an answer to that.
We could not resist thinking negative that your loved one would die. Beliefs and other superstitions would come easily into your mind. Like when a certain bird known as pirit would pass by someone would die. Other indication like when a sickly one would touch her blanket as if she is measuring it, s/he soon to die. Or black butterfly means death in the family and other endless beliefs handed down by our forebears we can associate with death.
In the case of my sister, a pirit passed by in the evening and a heavy object fell on our roof…but the most visible indication that she would leave was her poem she wrote one week before she died.
life
life must go on   
     for dreaming our dreams 
     Which gives hope.
life must go on 
     for searching our identity 
    which gives substance.
life must go on 
    for identifying ourself 
    which gives soul.
life must go on 
    for sharing our love 
   which makes HOME.
Like a collection of brilliant sapphires, Ruth was a jewel set vibrant to the eyes. We always think of positive things about our loved ones.
Four years since my sister left us, I still weep because I miss her inexplicably. I know now that no matter how we go old…we still miss our sibling.
Her death is a living testimony that God is the only unchangeable reality. Whether one is in life or death, He will be there. He is the ultimate award to Ruth and those who love Him.
Each year, On November 1, All Saints Day, and November 2, All Souls Days, we troop to the cemetery to visit our dead ones. It is one way of assuring ourselves that our departed ones are truly gone temporarily separated from us. That one day we shall be together again in Heaven with our Maker.
And yes, blesses are those who are able to be at the bedside when the beloved breathes his/her last. To be able to bid goodbye and say “I love you” before they fade away…I wasn’t there in the hospital when my sister passed away, yet my mama cuddled her to her last breath.
We are wracked with agony or we torture ourselves by wishing… “If only I was able to say goodbye.” Then, being calmed by the passage of time, we learn to accept that God has His reasons always, that there is a purpose in everything that happens in one’s life. We have to trust and believe God that God knows best. And to thank the Almighty for the time shared on earth with our loved ones.
We pray that we shall all be reunited there one day, sooner or later.

***
I can’t resist sharing a chapter from one of my favorite books (shared by friend Ricky Lo of Philippine Star), You Can’t Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams. This is where some dear friends are today…I am dedicating the piece to Emerson Pinos, Cong. Edgar Chatto, cousin Shiela Olorvida in Denmark (whose one month old son died), Dejaresco Family, Cong. Edgar Chatto and family, Analyn Pollenza, Mejkal Manalo, Janice Saletrero, Charmaine Cacho and family and you people out there who have lost a parent or a loved one and can’t quite figure out what happened or are finding it hard to come to terms with their great, irreplaceable loss.

Learn to mourn
This is a lifetime of goodbyes. As the years go on, you’ll say goodbye to both people (through moving, change, or death) and things (youth, that semi-tight body you once had, hair, prized possessions). Eventually, you’ll say goodbye to it all with your own death.
Learning to mourn, to grieve, to say a goodbye, is an invaluable tool.
When a loss takes place, the mind, body and emotions go through a process of healing as natural as the healing of a physical injury. Know that feeling lost, sad, angry, hurt, fearful and tearful at goodbyes is a natural part of the healing process.
We recover from the loss in three distinct but overlapping phases. The first phase of recovery is shock/denial/numbness; the second, fear/anger/depression; the third, understanding/acceptance/moving on.
No matter what the loss—from a missed phone call to the death of a loved one—the body goes through the same three phases of recovery. The only difference is the time it takes to go through each stage and the intensity of the feelings at each point along the way.
When we first hear of a loss, our initial reaction is shock/denial/numbness. Often we say, “Oh no!” We can’t believe what we’ve heard. We go numb.
This ability to deny and go numb is a blessing. Catastrophic losses are too hard to take all at once. It has been suggested that the reason some people have slow, terminal illnesses as their method of dying is because it’s going to take them a long time to say goodbye, and they want to do it right.
The next phase, fear/anger/depression, is the one most commonly associated with loss. We think we’ll never love or be loved again (fear). We wail against the situations, people, things, and unkind fates that “caused” the loss (anger). We cry, we feel sad, we hurt, we don’t want to go on (depression).
One of the toughest feelings to accept is anger at the one who us dying (even if it’s yourself). “Why are you leaving me?!” a voice inside wants to know. To feel angry at someone for dying, or angry at yourself over your own death, is perfectly normal. It’s a natural stage of recovery that one must pass through. (Pass through-not remain in.)
Finally, we come to understanding/acceptance/moving on.
We understand that loss is part of life. We accept the loss we suffered, and begin to heal. When healing is well under way, we move on to our next experiences.
I put this information on grieving in the section “Act-centuate the Positive” because mourning is a positive human ability. It allows us the flexibility to adapt to change. It is not “negative to fell pain, fear and anger at loss. It’s natural, human response. The negativity enters when the process of healing is suppressed, glossed over and denied.
Accept the process. Accept the numbness, the fear, the pain, the anger, the sadness, the tears and eventually, accept the healing.
Accepting the healing can be difficult. People may expect you to mourn, longer than you find necessary, or they may want your mourning to “hurry up.” People often offer comfort to ease their own discomfort. “There, there,” the say,” everything’s all right,” when, in fact, everything is not all right.
Grieving must be done in its own time.
***
You can email me at [email protected]



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Happy

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2007, 12:19:38 AM »
hahaha ka-angayan nimo Leo oi.

Happy halloween to you too ;D

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lumine

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2007, 05:22:57 PM »

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ms da binsi

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2007, 05:27:54 PM »
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Bambi

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2007, 09:07:22 PM »
Hello Leo!

Very nice custome and appearance!  Konkurrensya kana ni Mikey ini.  Pasakya unya ko sa imong silhig ha inig abot naho dinhi?  See you baya....bantay ka, hapakon takas imong silhig.  Fly not too high dear young witch!

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hazel

Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2007, 03:06:29 AM »

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udtohan

Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2007, 02:10:49 PM »
hehehe i still have other spooky costumes... but i deleted it for some reasons,,,hehehe

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grazie7y

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2007, 03:21:47 PM »
Thanks for sharing your pics, Leo!  Butay man na imong gi bitbit ba?

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udtohan

Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2007, 03:31:53 PM »
yeah, hehehe para maiba. sagaran kay silhig man...i chose butay sa lubi! hehehe

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grazie7y

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2007, 03:47:26 PM »
daan ko pa na butay na. mao man na among isugnod sa una namo kong palung-agon mi ni Mommy aron dali mo siga ang kahoy. 

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2007, 05:06:31 PM »
e he he eeeeeeeeeeeeew he he he it's posted by a cute phillipine person not by some so called American white witch!

Leo the words are the most impoartant in your message the pictures are cute and with timing let's go trick or treating together!

I will wear my famous dirty clothes pile costume since no one else has come up with such a scary costume as this ever. What do you exspect from some one as unique and friendly and jolly as me. Lingaw jyud!

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ms da binsi

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2007, 10:25:08 PM »
e he he eeeeeeeeeeeeew he he he it's posted by a cute phillipine person not by some so called American white witch!

Leo the words are the most impoartant in your message the pictures are cute and with timing let's go trick or treating together!

I will wear my famous dirty clothes pile costume since no one else has come up with such a scary costume as this ever. What do you exspect from some one as unique and friendly and jolly as me. Lingaw jyud!





ADHD!

haahhhahhaha


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grazie7y

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2007, 11:30:11 PM »
Behave children of all races (no distinction)!  Leo will whip us with his magic butay! 



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Lorenzo

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2007, 11:37:51 PM »
Leo you're hilarious man. Great costume, bro. Ride that broom! hahaha

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udtohan

Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2007, 05:32:49 PM »

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2007, 05:41:54 PM »
Hi El Mundo.......uban ko ha?......asa man ta mag-una? ;D


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grazie7y

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2007, 12:00:01 AM »
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thegirlnextdoor

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2007, 05:44:17 PM »
Thats what allot of you all look like when you get up in the morning and look at yourselves with out your make up and cobbed hair whats worse is lately you act it also.

ADHD ah come on how immature sounding. I honestly feel like this website sight is becoming a witch club just to see which one of you can come up and compete with who can be the rudest one in here?

You guys are damned when I am nice and damned if I tell the truth. did you see the pretty picture painted on your Chronicle paper this weekend?

your all missing this place for what? a few persons where killed this weekend in tip tip and ubujuan showed their dead faces full of blood pouring out of their heads.

This scene is becoming common here.
I was even impressed with all the bad changes that are happening here when I cam back  after visiting my family.

I thought what in the world is ruining this what use to be friendlier and peacefull place of Bohol.

If you return from OS and see the changes you yourself will be dismayed if no one has the decency to say what is the truth.

I was missing Bohol when I was back in America but the bad things keep on happening by persons with out heart here and I keep reminding myself why I returned here but it is not the same as when I leave it behind before?

Its degressing. you have many persons coming in from the other provinces now who are contributing to such awful things going on.

You have persons here who just sit and do nothing to assist in being vigilant for themselves or others.
Many are scared to discuss things because they fear what others may think or say or do to them.
I do not miss America but I miss my family. America is not always having it brightest days as there are also horrible things happening there as well.
I miss America in the way it use to be it was the kind of country that when you went to a store you never use to have to lock the car doors because no one bothered your things.
Thats all changed now.
Look at me I do not take the Philippine citizenship here just because i live here I am American and proud of my country status as if stands for liberty and justice for all.
I want to know if so many of you are so happy over seas then why do you change your citizensships?
My husbands a philippine man just because i do not take the citizenship does not mean I love him less.
Yeah' dual citizenship has always amazed me in why they honor such a thing to persons who go there and start actting that they are all that when they came from a original country that had done nothing for them and thats why they leave it to begin with.
Stop kidding yourselves enjoy what America and other countries have to offer you.
It is allot more then what they have to offer you here in Philippines or you would not be over seas to begin with.

Its my right to call it the way it is I am so glad i do not have to take personal matters out on others and toinking just to be mean.

please stop being pain in the ass's. I have a bad taste of what is the meaning of Roman Catholic when you act the way you do?

Why waste time praying, going to church, and doing other godly things when you are not friendly in here.
Just try to read all you messages in here and see who is more realistic and who is just dealing with ain't the world all wonderful when it is not (read fantasy).

you all have allot of posts and the post you have not written anything that is about your country of origin anything that is constructive you want to pick fights in here.

I'm to grown up for that kind of nonsense.

I would like to put you all to a challenge and see what you can say good about your place of origin here in the Philippines. In about 3 paragraphs or more.
Also why it was that you were driven to America to work and why it is you want citizen in America or any other place when you are missing it here in Bohol?

How do you feel that America and other countries offer help to persons from under developed countries?
Would it not seem that you should all count your blessing for those kinds of opportunities allowed for you by countries that care. Your also allowed to petition your family abroad as eventually and no need to miss anyone for you have everything going for you more then you would have here for now.
I would hope that more Philippine persons working over seas would bring home money and make business to employee more people and help bring down the poverty scale here.
It seems with all the money being made over seas and not sent here is for personal gang only and not to help this country?
This country should be better off if the money made from OFW's was all really sent back home for improving this country?

I have donated thousands of pesos myself to programs here to help the underprivileged and you sit in America my place of origin or where ever and toink me?
Ha ha ha ? Thats not only funny but that is ungrateful.









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lumine

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Re: Remembering our loved ones
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2007, 06:09:53 PM »

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