Author Topic: Women to Court Men  (Read 12839 times)

ayessa

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Women to Court Men
« on: January 18, 2009, 08:24:19 PM »
The Philippine society has evolved through the years.  With the advent of modernization, much of our cultural practices, mores and norms are still prevalent in Philippine culture and a deviation of such is something that is conceived a repulsion of morality.

It is unimaginable in the Philippines for a woman to woe for a man's affection.  Moreover, there must be verbal expression and confirmation of emotions before a relationship is considered official ( meaning, the need to say "I love you" and the confirmatory response  "yes").  In the western world, these magic words are commonly uttered later when the emotions and feelings have developed which I find logically honest. Public dispay of emotions (kissing ang hugging) is evidently abhored most especially in the provinces.  Less that I realized that this was a big cultural shock for me the first time I stood on a western land. Do our social roles and funtions forbid us from exercising the ultimate display of freedom, that is the freedom of expression?

Much that I noticed in western countries, it is not strange for a woman to propose marriage.  For a Filipina woman, this is abosolutley a taboo.

Is the Philippine community ready to adapt to such kind of change?  Is it hypocrisy to hide your feelings for somebody whom you have great affection just because the norms and mores forbid you so?  On the otherhand, would it be destructive to the culture that we have grown up with should we adapt to these practices?

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hofelina

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2009, 11:35:51 PM »
Very good topic Indayon, the answer is no. We still have this conservative institution where in the  family the woman stays at home care for the kids and the man is the breadwinner. The Pinay women nowadays are working also on their careers but in terms of family household she is still the housekeeper.
If the role is reversed, then  that means that the society is ready to see women do the courting. My opinion.

Manay

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Macky Ferniz

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2009, 12:29:09 AM »
It is actually the West (the Spaniards) who thought us these traits. Because of Spanish ultra macho society, it is the male who does the heavy chores and women are left at home.

However, before the Spanish occupation, our major religion is Hinduism. In Hinduism, it is the girl who seek her mate and propose marriage. During marriage, it is the obligation of the girl's family to shoulder all expenses including a new house, gold garments, land...etc.

It is also recorded in our history that in ancient history, both sexes are equal and there were even warrior females like princes Urduha of Luzon.

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hofelina

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2009, 12:40:49 AM »
Macky you are right, I have a very good article on that akong kaykayon akong files, regards,
Manay

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2009, 02:22:01 AM »
Ginapraktes pa gihapon ni didto sa India & some parts of the World. Daghan nga mga asawa nga gikuha sa mga bana gikan sa India are being abused by thier husband because of this tradition.

It is actually the West (the Spaniards) who thought us these traits. Because of Spanish ultra macho society, it is the male who does the heavy chores and women are left at home.

However, before the Spanish occupation, our major religion is Hinduism. In Hinduism, it is the girl who seek her mate and propose marriage. During marriage, it is the obligation of the girl's family to shoulder all expenses including a new house, gold garments, land...etc.

It is also recorded in our history that in ancient history, both sexes are equal and there were even warrior females like princes Urduha of Luzon.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2009, 03:11:51 AM »
The Philippines, as a nation with a Hispanic Culture (Western European), retains a paternalistic view on things. Mr. Ferniz pointed out the truth, the implantation of Spanish notion of Male Machisimo. This view is alive and present in other Latin countries, to which the Philippines belongs to. Namely: Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Peru, Chile, Columbia, Venezuela, Paraguay, Bolivia, Cuba, Honduras, Panama, Guatemala, and Puerto Rico.

Additionally, to augment this--most East Asian cultures are also paternalistic.

As society evolves and globalization continues--we shall see a lessening of this. Albeit, probably in a gradual process.

Lorenzo,

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2009, 09:49:54 AM »
It is actually the West (the Spaniards) who thought us these traits. Because of Spanish ultra macho society, it is the male who does the heavy chores and women are left at home.

However, before the Spanish occupation, our major religion is Hinduism. In Hinduism, it is the girl who seek her mate and propose marriage. During marriage, it is the obligation of the girl's family to shoulder all expenses including a new house, gold garments, land...etc.

It is also recorded in our history that in ancient history, both sexes are equal and there were even warrior females like princes Urduha of Luzon.


Macky ganahan ko mobalik na! hahahah



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Re: women to court men
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2009, 11:32:39 AM »
Actually,

Pinays here in the 'states are very aggressive when it comes to relationships. Like a hawk, if you get my drift, lol.

Depends on the individual, but Pinays over here arent' afraid to date outside of their race. One thing that attracts foreign men to the Filipina is her sense of conviction, and her boldness.

For example, most of the best nurses in the health system here are Filipinas; and they show little to no inhibition in telling a physician or surgeon if their prognosis or diagnosis is wrong. Blunt but honest.

It makes a Pinay a Pinay.

Sure Philippine society may still be conservative and traditional-esque, but in no way does that mean that the Filipina is inherently submissive. On the contrary, she is aggressive.

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Mari

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2009, 12:16:52 PM »
i think it has something to do with exposure and influences



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Re: women to court men
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2009, 01:57:40 AM »
sige man ko ug kasuway sa una nga ang babaye maoy manguyab nako. pero dugay nako sugton kay abi nalang easy boy or humok ug ilong. bitaw, sugton nako dayon labina kung medyo gwapa kay basin mausab unya ang hunahuna.  ;D

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2009, 03:13:32 AM »
'The early bird gets the worm'

Hahaha, :)

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2009, 01:52:23 PM »
I think the main point here in this discussion is whether its ok for a woman to court a man, nonetheless whether or not the Philippines is ready for it.

In my opinion, I think we should apply a selective adaptation of other country's influences while still retaining our identity as a Filipino. There is nothing wrong in embracing and adapting western culture and civilization as long as we think ourselves that we're ok with it but sometimes, its our true identity and culture that defines us from the rest of western civilization. Just ry to examine the situation or rather answer this question: "Why is it that most foreigners prefer a Filipina as a wife?" Well, perhaps they see a Filipina as a wife material more than as a sex partner. A fact that doesnt exist in their own country. With that, I don't see the need or the benefit of changing Filipino ways of being conservative. Well, maybe some will raise an eyebrow as if "HALEERR", Today is ULTRA-MODERN age where Virgins are being shot in Bagum Bayan as martyrs. But c'mon, that is what a Filipina used to be and that is our own culture, own identity as a nation.

Well time flies and so does our ways and thinking. But we should never forget what we really are. TAYO'Y MGA PINOY, TAYO'Y HINDI KANO, WAG KANG MAHIHIYA, KUNG ANG ILONG MO AY PANGO.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2009, 01:40:45 AM »
be it filipino or western ways, it still boils down to where a woman is comfortable with
it doesnt make you a lesser filipina if you say what you feel, it takes a lot of courage to do so and filipinas take pride of being so strong

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2009, 04:46:35 PM »
taboos are made to be broken. hahaha

me? Ayaw na lang kay sure ko ganahan jud ko. hehehe

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hofelina

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2009, 07:20:42 PM »
You are right Gener in assessing the predicament of a woman as a suitor. But I could remember my daughter who I brought up  as emancipated/liberated,who  chose to wait till a guy courted her, she was 23 then. She said its worth the waiting.



My daughter is 168 cm and Jan is 190 cm


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Re: women to court men
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2009, 10:12:54 PM »

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2009, 04:14:27 AM »
this reminds of the line from Notting Hill, "i'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" IGAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT...surreal but nice.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2009, 10:25:52 AM »
That's painfully nice, di ba? hahahah


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ayessa

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2009, 03:46:21 PM »
manay mao ni si mayumi.. cute!!

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2009, 03:49:01 PM »
In our time, uwaw ang baje maoy magpakita og motibo sa guy. i even told my daughters to control their feelings to a guy but the younger generations are totally different.

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ayessa

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2009, 03:55:47 PM »
manay tess.
Based on personal observation, German men normally do not do the first move.  Sometimes they are too shy or  too engrossed with themselves.

Just like when I was in a bar, a german guy was keeping on looking at me and gloomed a smile, but he didnt do anything but smile waiting for me to do the first move. Filipina as I am I have a very deep sense of feminine pride, that is why he was left out by a Turkish guy who was more direct and extrovert.

Too bad Turkish men are not my type.  The german was actually good looking and blond, just my type.

You see what I got for keeping so much of my feminine ego? hehehehe


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Re: women to court men
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2009, 03:59:41 PM »
manay tess.
Based on personal observation, German men normally do not do the first move.  Sometimes they are too shy or  too engrossed with themselves.

Just like when I was in a bar, a german guy was keeping on looking at me and gloomed a smile, but he didnt do anything but smile waiting for me to do the first move. Filipina as I am I have a very deep sense of feminine pride, that is why he was left out by a Turkish guy who was more direct and extrovert.

Too bad Turkish men are not my type.  The german was actually good looking and blond, just my type.

You see what I got for keeping so much of my feminine ego? hehehehe


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ayessa

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2009, 04:03:48 PM »
Women in Europe are the go getter .They know what they want and they will get it by any means.  They are equally  philanderer too. Just like a colleague of mine who was caught by her bf having sex with another guy in their apartment.

They just dont court men, they even serve themselves immediately on the table.  I am personally ashamed to do this if he would not eat what I am serving. 

Personally, I believe that preserving some of the Maria Clara traits identifies who Filipinas really are.  Too much of being forward and direct is also not good.  Mabastosan gihapun ko mag tan-aw sa mga lovers nga grabe ang petting sa hauptbahnhof (main train station)...     

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ayessa

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2009, 04:06:01 PM »
quote from hotandsunnybohol.

bigaon man diay pud ka.


Kinsa may walay biga nato?  Dili man ka mahimugso kung wala manguwag imung mama di ba?  hahaha

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2009, 04:09:05 PM »
Take this as an example.  When you smell a delicious food put on sale on the street, would you not bother to look or even get one?

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2009, 04:30:12 PM »
hotandsunnybohol

Who ever told you  or wherever you learned that showing your feelings and affection for a guy is something that one should feel ashamed about has lived only within the four corners of her wall.

Its plain hypocrisy and a perpetuation of social order which we are used to.  If you claim to be ethical or religious why would 'nt you scan pages of your bible, maybe you will find that Christ hates hypocrites! Im not that religious though...


Ang uwaw mao ang babae nga padili dili, pa virgin virgin, ang ending nabuntisan diay.. Kay nasa ilawun ang kulo.  There is nothing wrong in doing the first move.  There is a big mistake, when one assumes to superficially follow external observances but fails to be consistent in her actions.

Ang problema man gud ani Madam hotandsunnybohol is that, gahuwat lagi ka ang lalaki muhatag ug first move, unya gahuwat man sad siya? mahuwatanay mo hangtud pasko.  Ang ing duol nimo mura man ug nawung ug baki, sige nalang kay siya may ing una??

Dont women also have the right to choose their partners?  If they only consider guys who are courting them to be their choices, wouldnt it limit?

kabuang ani no?



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Re: women to court men
« Reply #26 on: January 23, 2009, 05:56:43 PM »
We should rely on something that is logical and correct.  The problem with us is that we believe something to be true because someone told us or it is a common belief, norm or practice.  The danger of which is disrespecting our intelligence.

We stop thinking when we keep on believing dogmas.  We think that something is not true or correct because the society tells us so, if its logically or morally correct or not, I dont know.

The end of morality is to procure the affections to obey reason, and not to invade it. --Bacon

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #27 on: January 23, 2009, 07:23:59 PM »
it's a great leap for womens right, the right to court men. many women even princesses before cried with aching heart from this denied freedom due to our christian belief and practice. women should take this revolution 55% in their head and 45% on their heart.

ayee, you sound lika an inteligent, free thinker and an independent woman. we all know that along that line of thinking there are avenues of living life in a dangerous way and in the end, it did only bleed and drown you with misery coz of too much freedom.   

i wish you luck in your new found freedom. select the best!

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #28 on: January 23, 2009, 07:30:44 PM »
Our freedom ends when somebodys rights begin. There is no abolute freedom.  But freedom to think and reflect, is the challenge of us should we claim ourselves as human beings.  It is because of this that we have conquered the world and out wit and out lasted the dinousaurs.  Should we claim the throne to be the highest of the animal kingdom, then we should not cease to think, reflect.. And this can only be truly achieved through freeing ourselves from the bondage of ignorance.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2009, 07:43:35 PM »
buwadsanga

It is in my blood that I can feel that I am living.  It is in my soul that I can see who I am.  It is in other people that I can see where I am.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2009, 11:07:03 PM »
ok ra jud na nako ang babaye maoy manguyab sa lalake. maayo sad nang makasuway ta ug pang basted ug babaye. dili kay ang babaye lang pirme ang magbasted.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2009, 11:34:53 PM »
BnC magpa Maria Claro style diay pod ka?  ;D

During my younger and busy days....usik baya pod dili sugton ang gwapo bisan pag  playboy siya. It is not easy to have one lover than more as one, wa lang diay tay kapili-an? 

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #32 on: January 23, 2009, 11:35:53 PM »
magpa mario claro jud. abi nalang easy boy or humok ug ilong.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #33 on: January 24, 2009, 02:23:02 AM »
nindot bitaw ning naay manguyab natong babaye...

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #34 on: January 24, 2009, 01:10:01 PM »
Many of my 'coffee dates' were initiated by the woman.

It just happened that I asked them out on another 'coffee date', afterwards. :P

French Vanilla. Yum.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #35 on: January 24, 2009, 01:29:14 PM »
hehehehe, ako pud mang basted gyud kos mga chicks galig kaingon nga easy to get ang mga taga jagna. hehehehe!

siguro in the pyutyur, mang harana na nato ang mga babae. aye, harana-i ko ha. rock n roll ang gusto ko! hehehe

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #36 on: January 24, 2009, 01:32:00 PM »
Buwad, you like to rock and roll eh?

Try dating Latinas, they can teach you to salsa.

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buwadsanga

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #37 on: January 24, 2009, 01:33:50 PM »
ang freedom okay yan. basta di lang abosohon. pareho ni aye, poro fact nalang ang basehan. paano kong viginity ang usapan, e tilawan una aron ma hibaw-an. hehehehe okay ni da bnc

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glacier_71

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #38 on: January 24, 2009, 01:38:48 PM »
muabot ra nang panahona, buwad, basta sugton nimo ang babaye...lol

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Lorenzo

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #39 on: January 24, 2009, 01:40:10 PM »
Pero, we must not be so quick to acquiesce to any woman that comes to our feet.

Finding the right woman is like finding the best apple in the apple tree.

Be selective pood.

My advice lang.

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