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Women to Court Men
« on: January 18, 2009, 08:24:19 PM »
The Philippine society has evolved through the years.  With the advent of modernization, much of our cultural practices, mores and norms are still prevalent in Philippine culture and a deviation of such is something that is conceived a repulsion of morality.

It is unimaginable in the Philippines for a woman to woe for a man's affection.  Moreover, there must be verbal expression and confirmation of emotions before a relationship is considered official ( meaning, the need to say "I love you" and the confirmatory response  "yes").  In the western world, these magic words are commonly uttered later when the emotions and feelings have developed which I find logically honest. Public dispay of emotions (kissing ang hugging) is evidently abhored most especially in the provinces.  Less that I realized that this was a big cultural shock for me the first time I stood on a western land. Do our social roles and funtions forbid us from exercising the ultimate display of freedom, that is the freedom of expression?

Much that I noticed in western countries, it is not strange for a woman to propose marriage.  For a Filipina woman, this is abosolutley a taboo.

Is the Philippine community ready to adapt to such kind of change?  Is it hypocrisy to hide your feelings for somebody whom you have great affection just because the norms and mores forbid you so?  On the otherhand, would it be destructive to the culture that we have grown up with should we adapt to these practices?

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2009, 11:35:51 PM »
Very good topic Indayon, the answer is no. We still have this conservative institution where in the  family the woman stays at home care for the kids and the man is the breadwinner. The Pinay women nowadays are working also on their careers but in terms of family household she is still the housekeeper.
If the role is reversed, then  that means that the society is ready to see women do the courting. My opinion.

Manay


Macky Ferniz

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2009, 12:29:09 AM »
It is actually the West (the Spaniards) who thought us these traits. Because of Spanish ultra macho society, it is the male who does the heavy chores and women are left at home.

However, before the Spanish occupation, our major religion is Hinduism. In Hinduism, it is the girl who seek her mate and propose marriage. During marriage, it is the obligation of the girl's family to shoulder all expenses including a new house, gold garments, land...etc.

It is also recorded in our history that in ancient history, both sexes are equal and there were even warrior females like princes Urduha of Luzon.
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Re: women to court men
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2009, 12:40:49 AM »
Macky you are right, I have a very good article on that akong kaykayon akong files, regards,
Manay

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2009, 02:22:01 AM »
Ginapraktes pa gihapon ni didto sa India & some parts of the World. Daghan nga mga asawa nga gikuha sa mga bana gikan sa India are being abused by thier husband because of this tradition.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2009, 03:11:51 AM »
The Philippines, as a nation with a Hispanic Culture (Western European), retains a paternalistic view on things. Mr. Ferniz pointed out the truth, the implantation of Spanish notion of Male Machisimo. This view is alive and present in other Latin countries, to which the Philippines belongs to. Namely: Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Peru, Chile, Columbia, Venezuela, Paraguay, Bolivia, Cuba, Honduras, Panama, Guatemala, and Puerto Rico.

Additionally, to augment this--most East Asian cultures are also paternalistic.

As society evolves and globalization continues--we shall see a lessening of this. Albeit, probably in a gradual process.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2009, 09:49:54 AM »


Macky ganahan ko mobalik na! hahahah

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2009, 11:32:39 AM »
Actually,

Pinays here in the 'states are very aggressive when it comes to relationships. Like a hawk, if you get my drift, lol.

Depends on the individual, but Pinays over here arent' afraid to date outside of their race. One thing that attracts foreign men to the Filipina is her sense of conviction, and her boldness.

For example, most of the best nurses in the health system here are Filipinas; and they show little to no inhibition in telling a physician or surgeon if their prognosis or diagnosis is wrong. Blunt but honest.

It makes a Pinay a Pinay.

Sure Philippine society may still be conservative and traditional-esque, but in no way does that mean that the Filipina is inherently submissive. On the contrary, she is aggressive.


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Re: women to court men
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2009, 12:16:52 PM »
i think it has something to do with exposure and influences


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Re: women to court men
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2009, 01:57:40 AM »
sige man ko ug kasuway sa una nga ang babaye maoy manguyab nako. pero dugay nako sugton kay abi nalang easy boy or humok ug ilong. bitaw, sugton nako dayon labina kung medyo gwapa kay basin mausab unya ang hunahuna.  ;D
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Re: women to court men
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2009, 03:13:32 AM »
'The early bird gets the worm'

Hahaha, :)

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2009, 01:52:23 PM »
I think the main point here in this discussion is whether its ok for a woman to court a man, nonetheless whether or not the Philippines is ready for it.

In my opinion, I think we should apply a selective adaptation of other country's influences while still retaining our identity as a Filipino. There is nothing wrong in embracing and adapting western culture and civilization as long as we think ourselves that we're ok with it but sometimes, its our true identity and culture that defines us from the rest of western civilization. Just ry to examine the situation or rather answer this question: "Why is it that most foreigners prefer a Filipina as a wife?" Well, perhaps they see a Filipina as a wife material more than as a sex partner. A fact that doesnt exist in their own country. With that, I don't see the need or the benefit of changing Filipino ways of being conservative. Well, maybe some will raise an eyebrow as if "HALEERR", Today is ULTRA-MODERN age where Virgins are being shot in Bagum Bayan as martyrs. But c'mon, that is what a Filipina used to be and that is our own culture, own identity as a nation.

Well time flies and so does our ways and thinking. But we should never forget what we really are. TAYO'Y MGA PINOY, TAYO'Y HINDI KANO, WAG KANG MAHIHIYA, KUNG ANG ILONG MO AY PANGO.


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Re: women to court men
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2009, 01:40:45 AM »
be it filipino or western ways, it still boils down to where a woman is comfortable with
it doesnt make you a lesser filipina if you say what you feel, it takes a lot of courage to do so and filipinas take pride of being so strong

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2009, 04:46:35 PM »
taboos are made to be broken. hahaha

me? Ayaw na lang kay sure ko ganahan jud ko. hehehe
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Re: women to court men
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2009, 07:20:42 PM »
You are right Gener in assessing the predicament of a woman as a suitor. But I could remember my daughter who I brought up  as emancipated/liberated,who  chose to wait till a guy courted her, she was 23 then. She said its worth the waiting.

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2009, 10:12:54 PM »
They look great Manay!

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2009, 04:14:27 AM »
this reminds of the line from Notting Hill, "i'm just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" IGAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT...surreal but nice.
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Re: women to court men
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2009, 10:25:52 AM »
That's painfully nice, di ba? hahahah


ayessa

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2009, 03:46:21 PM »
manay mao ni si mayumi.. cute!!

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Re: women to court men
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2009, 03:49:01 PM »
In our time, uwaw ang baje maoy magpakita og motibo sa guy. i even told my daughters to control their feelings to a guy but the younger generations are totally different.



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