come december 1, 2007,next saturday, i will finally bid goodbye to my second country,belgium and welcome myself and my family again to the country where i was born,the philippines.
it's hard to say goodbye,but we have to. as my loving husband would always say, "Baby, our future is in the Phils. There are no family ties here,unlike in the Phils."
last sunday, tears started to fall like heavy rain, as herman's sister-in-law and her family invited us for a dinner. it was painful to see my husband sobbing while hugging them tightly.(im crying now again,as im writing this.)whew!
in the car, everybody was quiet. moments after, my husband kissed my forehead and my lips, he said, "Baby, it's hard to say goodbye but i will make it because soon, i will be leaving all my miseries. Real happiness will come soon." (it's too personal if i will share the trials my husband went through.)
last night, my 18 year-old stepson, Joachim, visited us. an hour before he left, i asked him if he could still visit us for the last time. he said that his schedule in school wouldn't allow him anymore. so this is our last time to see each other? i asked. as we hugged each other, my tears started to fall, and before it would rain, i told him i needed to put his lil brother to sleep already. i noticed he was teary-eyed when baby matt gave him a flying kiss.(ngek! nitulo na sad ako luha.) :'( :'( :'(
as i went upstairs, i was crying. minutes after, i could hear herman sobbing. i wanted to go downstairs to see Jo again,but baby matt was having his milk. i could hardly stop my tears from falling as i heard father and son saying goodbye in dutch. baby matt was awake from my sobs. i immediately carried baby matt to join his daddy whose eyes were already swelling from crying. when Jo left, herman kept reading at the frames with the inscriptions about a father which Jo gave him last night. at the end of one of the poems in the frames, it says, "Ik hou van jou,Papa." in english, "I love you, Daddy."
i can really understand the feelings of herman this time.
next week, we will visit my mother-in-law and my close brothers-in-law. what will i expect? super heavy rains again...
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