Please, call me Bran. Amigo na ta ha.
Pride. That is exactly the reason why I was never ever able to tell my father that I love him, or as frequently, Ligiah. Sometimes I fear that I will seem 'weak' and too 'emotional'. The thing is that even though I dont want to show myself as an emotional person to my parents--that is why I act too serious sometimes--because i dont want to be seen as too 'emotional' or 'soft'. I know it is ironic, and it is really hard trying to change it. Though I am trying to change that, ive learned through life experiences that it is better jud to be yourself and true to yourself jud. Because you know we only live once, diba? And sometimes things happen and we wish we could have been more open to others and wish that we could have showed our true selves to that person. But its all too late. That is what I fear the most, jud.
It is really mom mom who is the one that tells me all the time to 'swallow your pride'. And I thank her day after day for telling me that. Pride, it truly is an asset, yet it is also a barrier.
I hope that you will be able to express yourself to your Tatay. And to answer your rhetorical question, you are not a bad daughter nor are you any less than any others. Always believe in yourself and it is good to have pride at times, ligz, because at least that way you know you are an honorable and true woman. Many men find that very attractive, conservative yet subtle.
Regards ha,
Bran
hehe! cige Bran... migo na ta.
and you can also call me Gay (gai pagka pronounce ha,
)
There are things that are very hard to change no matter how hard we try to.. But then, keep on trying Bran and I believe you will eventually achieve what you are working for. Let us just hope lang jud bitaw that by that time, the people that you need to 'swallow your pride' on are still around.
Yeah hopefully I will be able to express myself to my father. Being halfway around the world has made me realize how much of an idiot and how immature I was before to not express things the way they should be expressed.
But it's quite funny to think that I did all the best I can to achieve what I have achieved now, just to prove something to my father... that I am a good daughter... but still I never heard anything from my Tatay. oh yeah, actually I do hear that he brags about me to his friends... but tell something good to me? Never.... PRIDE again?
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