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Ligalig-Mike

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Fatherly Advice
« on: June 17, 2007, 06:11:45 AM »
By Babe Romualdez
The Philippine Star

Hallmark is expected to sell 100 million Father’s Day cards in the US alone. Locally, National Bookstore, which has the franchise for Hallmark cards, will probably be selling hundreds of thousands as well. Traditionally, the role of a father has always been viewed as that of an authority figure, a bread winner and provider. Sociologists, however, point out that times are changing, and so is the concept of fatherhood.

It’s not easy to define what a father is, or what fatherhood means, in straight and strict terms since the dimensions are broad and complex. For some, it means being a source of strength and confidence, a moral and spiritual guide, someone who provides a sense of well being and stability. At any rate, it’s clear that a father’s presence makes a significant impact in the life of a child. It has been said that we become who we are because of what we pick up at home - and most of the time, it’s what we pick up from father that makes a lasting impression. How dad talks to mom, how he deals with anger and frustration - these are things that could determine how a child will turn out later in life.

In the same token, a father’s absence - whether physical or emotional - is becoming a critical problem in many countries including the United States, where divorces and unwed pregnancies account for a big number of children growing up without a father. Over the years, research has shown the high cost of a father’s absence - children dropping out of school; getting involved in drugs and crime; teenage girls getting pregnant. A research by a Harvard psychologist even showed that neighborhoods with a large number of fatherless households tend to have a high incidence of violent crimes. In Sweden, there are reports of a higher incidence of suicides and addiction in single-parent homes.

So many children today are experiencing problems attributed to the absence of a father because of poverty. In the Philippines, fathers become overseas Filipino workers so they could provide for their children. As a consequence, they miss out on a lot of important things - graduation, Christmas, birthdays - all those occasions that are taken for granted by adults, but mean the whole world to a child. Fathers make up for their absence by sending money and material things, not realizing that it could breed resentment and anger. OFWs can become so alienated from their children that when they finally manage to earn enough and come home for good, they get the shock of their lives in discovering that their children have become college dropouts and drug addicts.

While it is sad to see children growing up without a father, it is even more unfortunate for children to grow up with abusive, cruel and violent fathers. So many stories have been told about young girls getting raped by their own fathers - this type of crime having been called by experts as the most fundamental violation of trust. Incest rape is undoubtedly one of the most difficult subjects to talk about, one that could affect the victim for the rest of her life. More often than not, incest rape victims keep the abuse a closely guarded secret because of fear and shame, compounded by the fact that the abuser is the one who provides food and shelter. There are also emotionally and psychologically disturbed fathers who vent their frustrations on their children, abusing them verbally and beating them - causing emotional and psychological wounds that could take a lifetime to heal. I have absolutely no respect whatsoever for such kind of people - as far as I am concerned - they’re worse than animals.
           
Being a father is no easy task. It takes a lot of hard work, commitment, and most of all, responsibility, since a father’s behavior can have a lifetime impact on a child. Fortunately, there are still a lot of good fathers who realize that they make all the difference in the life of a child. They allow their children to make mistakes, knowing that it is part of growing up, but they make it clear that irresponsibility will not be tolerated. Most of us are lucky to have fathers who were good role models and taught us how to be strong and steadfast to survive in this oftentimes cruel world.

Good fathers are looked upon as pillars of strength, and they provide the kind of love that is balanced by discipline through words, not fists. A simple fatherly advice could spell the difference between success and failure especially to a son or daughter who craves the attention and approval of a father. Fathers should lead by example, underscoring the truth in writer Umberto Eco’s words that “…what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us” - a clear indication that more than anything else, a father’s unguarded moments have the potential to shape the character of a person.

At any rate, people should be thankful to Sonora Dodd - who first conceived of Father’s Day to honor the sacrifices of her widowed father, American Civil War veteran William Smart, who single-handedly raised all of his six children. It’s always good to remember one’s father - one whose hard work and sacrifices will all be worth it if he sees his children grow up as productive, emotionally balanced and responsible individuals.


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..yadz..

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2007, 10:55:52 AM »
this is a very good topic..

Love urself ,Flirt with ur understanding,Romance with dreams,Get engaged with simplicity,Marry genuiness,Divorce the ego...Thats Good Life...

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kiamoy

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2008, 01:20:59 AM »
im not an envious person. 
except for this. i always envy a friend or relative who has a good father.
heeey? what's the point of this?


if you can't quit, then please help warn the kids..
support Picture-Based Health Warning Bill  => http://www.tobaccocontrol.ph/petition

Lorenzo

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2008, 01:32:30 AM »
To My daddy,

Dad, I am so sorry that I fight and bicker with you for trivial matters. You know Dad, whenever mom jokes around saying that I look like you or how I am your 'carbon copy' and I respond with the typical, "Di uy."

I don't mean it, Dad.

Well, you know what I mean.

Daddy, you are my one and only dad. We are so alike that it is almost scary. Manner of speech, the way we walk, the way we laugh, our lawas, and the way we think.

I love you, Dad. Thank you for being there for me and disciplining me when I needed it. God knows I probably deserved all the latuses from the belt. Haha.


Your Junior,

hazel

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2008, 01:43:09 AM »

bem, you have a good father. even if there are things that he missed to do. be grateful for your stability and comfort.

Lorenzo

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2008, 01:47:06 AM »

Kiams,

All fathers are not perfect. Part of life man jud na, amiga. The relationship I have with my father is not 'picture perfect' either. We get into arguments alot, that or we clash on issues. Pero we are able to laugh it off in the end. Take things with a pinch of salt. And most of all, appreciate your father because our fathers are unique in their own way.

Correct si Ate Hazel in that ang importante is that your father provided stability and discipline.

hazel

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2008, 01:50:22 AM »

and bem, you, chic and jen can always share my papa. ok?

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2008, 04:05:45 AM »
yeah I appreciate your intentions ate and Lorenzo..but Im more like Respect because of fear..  it's not Respect because of Love..


if he wants respect because of love.. he shouldVe started it.. :)

berjnsan21

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2010, 09:46:59 AM »


Yeah, that was our society now. A lot of children, who grow without a father, maybe they have their different reason. And a lot of teenagers getting pregnant without man who could stand a father for their baby. However, where is now the word that we called loved of father if they could leave their child? And I'm very lucky to have a father who is very loving father and very responsible.

hubag bohol

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Re: Fatherly Advice
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2010, 10:02:46 AM »

You're indeed lucky, Mr. (or Ms.) Berjn.

By the way, welcome to TB.

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln



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