Rebirth of Pain and LossBy Michael O. Ligalig(for Orchids and for all friends who have left us)
composed today, September 25, 2008Tonight I sit on the edge of my bed
And my weight rests on the edge of the universe
Where time and space transform into a boundless thought,
Where life and death pulsate on the edge of my breath.
Hands clasped on my knees, head bowed in complete silence,
I want to pray and pour out before God my Creator
My incomprehensible pain over a sudden loss of a dear friend.
But where are the words of my meditation?
“Lord, I don’t know what to say.†Is that all I can say?
Where is the music of my solitude?
Where are the words of my heart’s prayer?
What is this so-called journey of life?
That some of us, mortals,
Must return to the dust
Before some of us would kiss
The earth’s wind goodbye.
Then I travel to the highways of my soul
And I see but gloom and despair,
To the planets of my mind
And I see but sunless skies and darkened moons,
To the secret corners of my grieving heart
And I see but shadows of pain,
Loneliness,
Emptiness.
Memories.
Flashes of distant images, of dear faces of friends
Scattered over all corners of the globe cover my room.
I want to hear their voices.
The friendly voices of Raul Oblenda and Charles Nagel
Who left us, fleeting mortals, without ubiquitous farewell.
I want to hold my loved ones again.
The hands of my father,
Whose death nearly a year ago remains
A daily agonizing remembrance.
I want to send Tubag Bohol PM, chat in Yahoo Messenger,
Pick up my cellphone, open a Friendster message.
And touch Aya’s happy and sad words
Echoing down the highways of my soul.
Yet there are more lovely faces I want to kiss.
There are more fragrant voices I want to hear.
There are more sweet laughters I wish to remember.
There are more immortal hands I want to caress.
But time and space
And life and death
And earth and eternity
Have silenced me
On the edge of my bed,
The edge of the universe.
Linkback:
https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=15287.0