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Topics - C2H4

#1
General Topic / Proof That The World Is Nuts
July 13, 2008, 09:26:37 AM
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than 'going blind!')

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside And deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) 

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam !)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???)

(Did the government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad Breath in the morning!)
#2
General Topic / Just Stay
July 13, 2008, 09:23:54 AM
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

'Your son is here,' she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

He was heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.A ll through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

'Who was that man?' he asked.
The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered.
'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied. 'I never saw him before in my life.'

'Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?'

'I knew right away there had been a mistake,
but I also knew he needed his son, and his
son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell
whether or not I was his son,
knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.'

The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.
#5
Youtube Replay / He's Such A Cutie Pie!
May 02, 2008, 08:05:07 AM
To apologize for making you guys cry on that vid of Madonna Decena, here's a vid of Charlie Green, a 10-yr old half-Pinoy half-British boy wonder. I hope this makes you all smile.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gX5F27DfsM
#6
Youtube Replay / I Was Moved To Tears
May 01, 2008, 10:38:44 AM
This performance made me cry. But through the tears, I felt immense pride. Filipino talent and the beauty of the Filipino soul...wow gyud!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM9yAaGmTsk&NR=1
#13
Youtube Replay / Moments Like This
February 23, 2008, 09:37:44 AM
When tears flow and words escape me. *wow*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNoiVrJDsE
#14
Music and Video / This is Why I Love Him
February 20, 2008, 12:48:57 PM
I was watching American Idol earlier, and was quietly disappointed when I realized, as talented as the singers were, there will never be another one quite as good as Elliott Yamin. *sigh*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6WnFCBhkyQ
#15
Showbiz & Celebrity / Gorgeous Pinay Celebs
December 08, 2007, 08:38:24 AM
Claudine Barretto (she's even prettier now that she's a mom)

#16
Jokes and Humor / Why, Why, Why
November 25, 2007, 02:27:00 AM
Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.




#17
Jokes and Humor / WOMEN
November 25, 2007, 02:22:19 AM
A woman & a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man.That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it
back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap
back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.
#18
Jokes and Humor / DIVORCE Vs. MURDER
November 25, 2007, 01:45:12 AM
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,  walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
      The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
      The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
      The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have  mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.
      That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us  in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely
not!
      You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
      The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of  her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
      The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
#19
Fashion Trend / The Power of Makeup
November 17, 2007, 05:30:54 AM
#20
Fashion Trend / Smoky Eye Tutorial
November 17, 2007, 05:07:28 AM
This is my biggest frustration. I can't do a proper smoky eye!

Let's watch and learn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCnJ8B0Ay14
#21
Fashion Trend / Frizzy to Straight in Minutes
November 17, 2007, 05:05:46 AM
For the few of us who are not blessed with the Pinay's natural straight, shiny hair...this is what we do to look at least remotely human.

Enjoy the show!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoiuQWqfirE&feature=related
#22
Music and Video / BisRock, Anyone?
November 15, 2007, 01:02:18 PM
Here's my fave BisRock song at the moment,

GiKumot Kumot by Kanteen




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvkKbuyDOyE&feature=related
#23
This thread is Miss Belle's idea, a brilliant one.

For me, personally, I found TB at just the right time, when I was going through a difficult time in my life. And the genuine friendships I've formed with some wonderful members have been great blessings. Nagpasalamat gyud ko ni Mike for this site.
#24
Jokes and Humor / Girl's Night Out
October 26, 2007, 11:03:12 AM
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, but they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the ladies did their business, they proceeded to go home.  The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl's nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst... My wife came home with no panties!!"
 
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said...

"From all of us at the Fire Station:  We'll never forget you!"
#25
Love Talk / Girls in My Circle
October 13, 2007, 02:01:49 PM
A friend sent this through e-mail...


When I was little,
   I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
   And then I started to become a woman.

   And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
   you would find the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
   Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
 
    Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
    Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

   One friend will say, "Let's cry together,"
   Another, "Let's fight together,"
   Another, "Let's walk away together."

One friend will meet your emotional need,
   Another your shoe fetish,
   Another your love for movies,
   Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
   Another will be your clarifier,
   Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
   On whatever the occasion,
   On whatever the day,
   Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
   Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ...
   Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
   But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
   One from 7th grade,
   One from high school,
   Several from the college years,
   a couple from old jobs,
   On some days your mother,
   On some days your grandmother,
   On some days your neighbor,
   On others, your sisters,
   And on some days, your daughters.

So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
   AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
   Pass this on to the women that in your life
   To make a difference

#26
Bible Study / Get Rid of Toxic Faith
October 13, 2007, 01:45:42 PM
source: http://bosanchez.ph

Symptom #1:

You Have A Distorted Image of God:

He’s Judgmental

           
One day, a man came up to me and said, “Bo, I’ve been feeling guilty. I feel God is angry at me today…”

“Angry at you? Why?” I asked.

“Because I missed my prayer time today. I’m afraid that He’ll punish me and cause bad things to happen today.”

Friends, I know that feeling very well. Because for yearsâ€"no, decadesâ€"I used to feel this way.

Yes, I once had Toxic Faith. (And if I’ll be honest, I still feel its residue in my soul.) Toxic Faith is based on a distorted image of God. For 20 years, I worshipped a judgmental, wrathful, vindictive, vengeful, and legalistic God. Though I would never admit that then. During that time, I was even preaching on God’s Love!

Why? Because our intellectual image of God is very different from our subconscious image of God. The latter is much deeper and more difficult to change.

A person with Toxic Faith will imagine God telling him, “Aha! You missed your prayer time today. Tsk, tsk, tsk. What an ungrateful creature you are…”

I used to pray daily because of fear.

Do you know how absurd that is?

Imagine a father calling up his son by phone and growling, “Ingrate! How dare you forget me? You don’t visit me anymore. I’m warning you. I’m going to put a curse on you if you don’t visit me right this minute…”

We call those fathers abusive monsters. And yet I imagined God to be like that.

Today, I still pray daily, but I do so because I love to pray. He blesses me, nourishes me, and fills my heart with love. If I do miss my prayers, He doesn’t throw lightning bolts on me. When my image of God changed, my whole world changed as well.

Why does Toxic Faith worsen addictions?

Remember what I said in an earlier chapter: Any addiction is a hunger for true love. I want to be loved, and because I can’t find real love, I search for a palliative. An anaesthesia, to cover up the pain. When my image of God is judgemental, legalistic, vindictive, and vengeful, what was supposed to perfectly address my hunger for love (God’s Love) makes the hunger more acute.

Do You Worship The Judgmental, Wrathful,

Vindictive, And Vengeful God?

According to Toxic Faith, God is judgmental, wrathful, vindictive, vengeful, and legalistic. If a person has a distorted image of God, your subconscious beliefs are as follows… (Check if you have any of them.)

·        “God will love me only if I behave.”

·        “God hates sinners and is angry with me.”

·        “He wants to punish me. He’s written down all my sins.”

·        “God is never satisfied with me.”

·        “If I sin, God will throw me to Hell forever.”

·        “I’m now sick with cancer. God is punishing me for not being good enough.”

·        “Our business flopped. God must be punishing me for forgetting Him.”

·        “We just met a car accident. You know why? We failed to pray…”

When you have Toxic Faith, it seems as though God is preoccupied with your sins. All He does the whole day is waiting for you to make a mistake. He’s also fickle and moody: When you don’t sin, He likes you. When you do sin, He doesn’t like you.

Their entire relationship with God is based on shame. He has ever-increasing demanding standards, like a target that keeps on moving, and they can never quite satisfy Him.

           

Symptom #2:

You Have A Distorted Faithfulness:

You’re Legalistic


            My friend “Melanie” believes that God wants her to pray at the exact time everydayâ€"5:00AM. She’d feel very guilty if, because she woke up late or had to do something else, was forced to pray at 5:30AM. To Melanie, that wasn’t honouring God.

Toxic Faith produces very faithful people, but its expression of faithfulness is distorted: It’s legalistic and painfully scrupulous. Legalism in itself is an addiction.

          To confirm whether Melanie had Toxic Faith, I checked for two signs: Did it lead to shame or to self-righteousness? (In other words, it’s either she felt shame herself or she shamed others.)   

When Melanie was able to keep her 5:00AM prayer each day, she felt good about herself. She felt God accepted her and liked herâ€"so she liked herself too. But she looked down on others who didn’t pray, who prayed late, or who prayed shorter than her.   She became self-righteous. “You’ll grow up too one day,” she’d say condescendingly.

          When Malanie was late with her 5:00AM appointment with God, she was filled with shame. She felt God frowned on her. She felt bad about herself. She was an ungrateful, undisciplined, insect before God.

She is the modern-day Pharisee that needs to hear again Jesus’ words: What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the lawâ€"justice, mercy, and faith.[1]

          St. Paul has powerful words for the legalist and the scrupulous: So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.[2]

          I’ve found this to be true. I recall a Bishop who was known to be very strict on others, almost rigid in his exacting ways, was exposed to have a mistress on the side. It was unimaginable when the news broke out. How could that be?

          The external rigidity was a subconscious projection. He was trying to control what he couldn’t control within.

          When Jimmy Swaggart was exposing Jim Bakker’s and Marvin Gorman’s sexual sins on national TV, he was really subconsciously exposing his own sexual sins which he couldn’t accept. When Ted Haggard was condemning homosexuality in the political arena and on television, he was condemning the homosexuality he couldn’t face within himself.

Are You A Religious Addict?

            Legalism can be an addiction.

          Rigidity can be an addiction.

Religiosity can be an addiction.

You can be addicted to anything. As long as it can give you an escape from your inner pain. And religion is the easiest thing to be addicted to because it’s something acceptable and highly admired.

How do you know if you’re a religious addict? If instead of facing your past wounds or resolving personal issues head on, you ESCAPE from your inner pain by drowning yourself in religious activitiesâ€"prayer, bible reading, doctrinal studies, ministry meetingsâ€"then most likely you’re a religious addict.

          Let’s move to the third symptom of Toxic Faith.

Symptom #3:

You Have A Distorted Image of Self:

You Feel Condemned



A person with low self-worth will be damaged by Toxic Faith.

I have talked to many whose language expresses a very negative picture of themselves. They say something like this, “I’m bad. My body is bad. I’m ashamed of myself. God wants me to disregard my feelings (because it’s of the flesh) and give up my valid and legitimate needs (because that’s selfishness).”

Toxic Faith will never allow us to love ourselves. Instead, it will urge us to call ourselves a wretch and a wormâ€"and urge us to treat ourselves that way.

Some people actually pray in this way: “Lord, I’m a worm, a despicable, ugly, sinful worm. I don’t deserve your love. I’m so repulsive in your sight. I’m a beast, a infestation, a virus, a wretch like no other…”

Don’t get me wrong. I love singing that classic song, Amazing Grace, which goes, Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me…

It’s a beautiful song, but someone with a distorted self-image will focus on the “wretch” part and will not look at the other beautiful parts of that song.

Same goes with the prayer after the Rosary, Hail Holy Queen. One part says, To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve; To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning, and weeping in this valley of tears…

Someone with low self-worth we latch onto those words like a leech and live on them for eternity. “I’m a banished child of Eve, sighing, mourning, and weeping…” But before we’re children of Eve, we’re children of God. How could we forget that?

          Toxic Faith will distort how you look at yourself.

          It will also distort the very beliefs you believe in…

Symptom #4:

You’ll Have A Distorted Faith:

You Practice Hyper-Faith




            I’m a preacher that gives hope to people. It’s my mission.

Every Sunday, I preach to a people that are tired and burdened from the daily grind of life. In our dark world, we need hope badly.

So I tell people to dream big dreams and pray for them everyday. I tell people that they’re surrounded by God’s abundanceâ€"and at anytime, they can tap into that overflowing resource for all that they need.

          But there’s a thin line that I dare not cross: The realm of Hyper Faith.

          Hyper Faith is a common ingredient of Toxic Faith.

          Hyper Faith preaches, “If you only have faith, all your problems will be solved.  If you just believe and pray, God will fix everything magically.”

          That’s not true. I tell people that while they’re breathing, problems are a part of life. They don’t disappear just because we’re close to God. But in every problem, God will accompany us.

          Real Faith heals, but Toxic Faith kills.

How? Let me give you a few examples…

When You Don’t Get Healed,

Is There Something Wrong With You?



            My friend “Ren” has cancer. For some time, she’s been praying for healing.

One day, she was prayed over by a Pastor of the Hyper-Faith variety. After praying over her, this Pastor declared to her with the authority of an Old Testament prophet, “The only reason why you’re still sick is because you lack faith.”

          Ren was devastated. She felt guilty. Sad. Confused. And angry.

She felt guilty that she had little faith.

She was sad that she couldn’t make it grow after all these years.

She was confused because she didn’t know what to do.

And she was angry at God that He was giving her healing but placed it beyond the reach of her small faith.

But what was the truth? I knew Ren. My friend has great faith.

She trusted in God even in the midst of her sickness.

But Hyper-Faith will not allow that.

If You Want To Be Wealthy, Just Tithe?

This is their belief: If you’re close to God, you’ll be healthy and wealthy. You’ll never get sick and you should never be poor.

I don’t teach Hyper-Faith. Instead, I preach real hope.

I also preach the practical things that people need to do to reach their dreams. Some people call me a Prosperity Preacher. I’d rather that they call me a Practical Preacher.   Because not everything happens just by praying. (People criticize me for that too. They say I’m too practical. Oh well, you can’t please everyone all the time.)

For example, some preachers say that tithing is the key to prosperity. I once read an entire book of financial prosperity, and for 11 chapters straight, the author just talked about giving and nothing else.

But here’s the big question: Why is it that there are people who tithe and remain poor? Lack of faith again?

Here’s why: Because tithing is only one of the keys to prosperity. There are other practical keys that one has to do to become prosperous. Like what? Like living simply; And saving regularly; And learning how to invest and knowing where to invest; etc… That’s the stuff that I love to teach people.

(Note: If you want to learn more about how to receive financial blessings, attend my How To Be Truly Rich Seminar on November 3, 2007, 9am to 12noon. I want as many people to learn how to reach financial freedom, so we made it very affordable. Your learning investment is P475 only per person. Call Beckie at Tel. (02) 7229562 (Tuesdays to Fridays, 9am - 6pm) or email her at beaconlightevents@gmail.com   Once you graduate from that, you can apply for the Truly Rich Financial Coaching Program.)

That’s another distorted belief of Toxic Faith: Having true faith means not doing anything but waiting on God to do it for me.

Let me give you other distorted beliefs…

Other Distorted Beliefs Of Toxic Faith

Have you heard this before? “God will find me a perfect mate and give me signs that it’s him or her.”

No, He won’t. He’ll ask you to think and use your mind.

I met a woman who’s married to an incredibly irresponsible guy. He doesn’t have a job, lies to her constantly, and is addicted to gambling.

“We met in the prayer meeting,” she said, “and when he courted me, I prayed to God if he was the man for me. I knew he didn’t have a job when I met him, and couldn’t keep one for a few years. So I asked for sign from God. And He gave them to me. So I thought it would be a great marriage…”

So what if you met in a prayer meeting? That means only one thingâ€"that he’s charismatic. But is he responsible? Is he honest? Is he faithful? Use your mind, sisters! Find out for yourself. Don’t depend on supernatural signs. Look for natural ones! The mere fact that he couldn’t hold a regular job for years was a natural sign to choose someone else!

Here are three other insane beliefs of Toxic Faith I have no time to explain:

·        A strong faith will protect me from problems and pain.

·        I should accept everything that happens to me as God’s will.

·        If it’s not in the Bible, it not true or relevant.

There are others, but let me now go to the fifth symptom…

Symptom #5:

You’ll Have A Distorted Faith System:

You’re Spiritually Abused

           
Toxic Faith is usually supported by a Toxic Faith System.

Which is spiritually abusive.

          I must confess that my community, Light of Jesus, had, at one time in our history, elements of this Toxic Faith System. Why? Because I was the leader of the group, and I had Toxic Faith. When the leader of a group has Toxic Faith, he creates a Toxic Faith System in his group. I think any religious group is open to such tendencies, and we need to be very careful. (I have asked for forgiveness for being spiritually abusive from my community many times.)

          To find out if your group, family, community, ministry, organization, or church has a Toxic Faith System, look for these 7 Elements:

1. The Leader claims special access to God and maintains control and authoritarian rule

     Only he or she (or they) can make decisions for the group and the individuals within the group. You can’t question this Leader or you’re seen as questioning God. You need to totally agree with the Leader or get out.

2. The Leader is punitive, judgmental, and castigating

There is a constant purging from the ranks. If you ask a question that is deemed questioning his authority, you’re labelled a rebel, someone with a critical spirit, and will be removed.

3. The Leader isn’t accountable to anyone

This is very dangerous. Even the Pope has a College of Cardinals and Bishopsâ€"and his teaching authority is linked to them.

4. No real Communication between Leaders and Members

     Someone or some peopleâ€"the Leader’s inner circleâ€"shield the top Leader from what the members are actually saying or experiencing.

5. Members feel it’s their group “Against the World”

The members feel that their group is in the cutting edge of God’s work in this sinful world. That their group is the best. That their group is especially chosen by God as either the only way of Salvation, or at the very least, His hand-picked SWAT team against evil. Other groups simply cannot compare.

6. Members are suffering

But in reality, members are suffering. Emotionally, they’re burned out; Physically, their tired; Financially, they’re not growing (the organization may be getting richer, and the Leader is getting richer, but the members are not); and spiritually, they’re stagnantâ€"because their highest loyalty is not to God anymore but to their Leader and the System.

7. The priorities taught to members are as follows:

·        Submit to the Leader at all times.   

·        Don’t ask, don’t doubt, don’t think. (This is what submission means.)

·        Never express feelings except positive ones.

·        Don’t trust outsiders. (Just listen to our teachings.)

·        Don’t do anything outside your role.

·        You need to give money or else.

·        Protect the image of the organization at all costs.

Jesus said, Beware of the false prophets, who come in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.[3]  False prophets don’t have to be cultic leaders or strange guys who call themselves Messiah. When any leader-a priest, a bishop, a pastor, a lay leader-robs people of their ability to think, controls them by his use of guilt and fear, manipulating them to strengthen his power or to enrich himself, he is a false prophet.

When a Leader creates his own exacting standards and tells people that unless they follow them, they’ll not enter the Kingdom of Heaven, he is shutting Heaven’s gates to them. About them, Jesus said, Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.[4]

God, a Woman, and a Tiger

Let me end this chapter with a beautiful story.

One day, a young woman went to the mountain Hermit seeking help.

“I need a potion for my husband’s depression,” she cried to him. “He came from war and doesn’t speak to me. He doesn’t listen to me. I try to caress him but he brushes me aside. I serve him food and he pushes it and angrily leaves the room. He then goes up a hill and just stares out to sea… Oh kindly sir, make me a potion so that I could give it to my husband and heal his depression!”

The Hermit closed his eyes and thought for a long while. After what seemed like a very long time, he then said to her, “I will make a special potion for your husband. But it needs a special ingredient. Get me a whisker of a live tiger.”

The woman was shocked. “Sir? I cannot get that…”

“But if you want your husband to get well, you will,” said the Hermit.

The woman ran home, prepared a bowl of food, and carried it deep in the forestâ€"where a tiger lived inside a cave. She placed down the bowl of food at the opening of the tiger’s cave and called on the tiger. “Tiger, I brought food for you. Come and eat!”

But the tiger did not come out.

The next day, the woman came again with a bowl of food and called on the tiger to eat. But the tiger did not come out again.

She kept doing this everyday, and tiger was getting used to her voice.

After one month, the tiger would peek through the opening, but he still would not eat her bowl of food.

After two months, the tiger finally left the cave and felt secure looking at the strange woman giving him food.

After three months, the tiger would finally eat the food as the woman watched from the distance.

After four months, the woman could actually sit beside the tiger as he ate.

After five months, the woman could wrap her arms around the tiger as he ate. She was now a friend and he was totally at peace with her.

After six months, as the woman caressed the tiger and as the tiger playfully rested his head on her lap, she whispered to his ear, “I hope you won’t get angry, but I will get something from youâ€"for my husband whom I love.” She then snipped one of his whiskers. The tiger did not even flinch.

After which, she ran to the Hermit and said, “I now have the whisker of a live tiger! Please make the potion for my depressed and angry husband…”

The Hermit took the whisker from her hand and threw it into the fire behind him.

“Nooooooo!” the woman screamed, “why did you do that?”

“You don’t need a potion,” the Hermit said, “because you are the potion to your husband.”

“I don’t understand,” the woman asked.

“What is more fierce? A tiger or a man? A tiger of course. But for six months you learned how to tame his anger. You were able to bring him out of his cave. With patience. With care. With love. Now I want you to use all that and bring your husband out of his cave and heal his depression.”

Do You Know The Difference Between

Toxic Faith And Real Faith?


I share you this story because I believe that God is like that woman.

We are that tiger. We are in darkness. We are in that cave. Like that woman, God comes to us with a lot of gentleness and a bowl of food. The food of His love. The food of His grace.

He will not force us to eat His food. He will not impose His power, His rule, His authority over us. Instead, He will wait, patiently and gently, for us to learn to trust Him. Day after day, week after week, month after monthâ€"year after year.

When we are ready, He will feed us.

When we are ready, He will wrap His arms around us.

That’s the difference between Toxic Faith and Real Faith.

Toxic Faith imagines God as a Judge that condemns and forces us to follow Him, using threats and intimidation. Toxic Faith requires that His followers do the sameâ€"impose, judge, label, pull rank, and intimidate.

Real Faith is very different. It imagines God as a woman patiently waiting for the tiger to leave his cave, so she could feed him and caress him. Real Faith requires that His followers do the sameâ€"love, forgive, share, care, bless, and serve.

          I choose Real Faith.

          Real Faith heals my addictions. Toxic Faith worsens them.


          Choose Real Faith.


          I remain your friend,


          Bo Sanchez

#27
Inspiration & Hope / Pancakes
October 13, 2007, 01:26:41 PM
Six year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor.

He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad.

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked!. Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon 's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process!

That's how God deals with us.. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour.

Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.

But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

I was thinking. and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal & bless! Remind every one of your friends that you love them. Even if you think they don't love back, you would be amazed at what those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.
#28
CHICAGO â€"  A lousy marriage might literally make you sick.

Marital strife and other bad personal relationships can raise your risk for heart disease, researchers reported Monday.

What it likely boils down to is stress â€" a well-known contributor to health problems, as well as a potential byproduct of troubled relationships, the scientists said.

In a study of 9,011 British civil servants, most of them married, those with the worst close relationships were 34 percent more likely to have heart attacks or other heart trouble during 12 years of follow-up than those with good relationships. That included partners, close relatives and friends.

The study, in Monday's Archives of Internal Medicine, follows previous research that has linked health problems with being single and having few close relationships. In the new study, researchers focused more on the quality of marriage and other important relationships.

"What we add here is that, 'OK, being married is in general good, but be careful about the kind of person you have married.' The quality of the relationship matters," said lead author Roberto De Vogli, a researcher with University College in London.

De Vogli said his research team is doing tests to see if study participants with bad relationships have any biological evidence of stress that could contribute to heart disease. That includes inflammation and elevated levels of stress hormones.

Another recent study also looked at quality of relationships but had different results. There was no association between marital woes in general and risks for heart disease or early death. But it did find, over a 10-year follow-up, that women who keep silent during marital arguments had an increased risk of dying compared with wives who expressed their feelings during fights. What appeared to matter more for men was just being married; married men were less likely to die during the follow-up than single men.

That study, of nearly 4,000 men and women, was published online in July in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.

In De Vogli's study, men and women with bad relationships faced equal risks. Volunteers filled out questionnaires asking them to rate the person to whom they felt closest on several measures. These included questions about to what extent does that person "give you worries, problems and stress?"

They also were asked about whether they felt they could confide in that person, or whether talking with that person made them feel worse.

Over the following 12 years, 589 participants had heart attacks or other heart problems. Those with the highest negative scores on the questionnaire had the highest risks, even taking into account other factors related to heart disease such as obesity, high blood pressure and smoking.

James Coyne, a University of Pennsylvania psychology professor who also has examined the health impact of social relationships, said De Vogli's results "make intuitive sense." But he said the study found only a weak association that doesn't prove bad relationships can cause heart disease.

"It is still not clear what to recommend," Coyne said.

"Do we tell people who have negative relationships to get therapy? They may have other reasons to do so, but I see no basis for them doing so only to avoid a heart attack," Coyne said.

Ending a bad marriage is not necessarily the answer either, he said, given evidence that being unmarried also could be a risk.

source: Associated Press (foxnews.com)

#29
Vodka-drip Feed Saves Unconscious Tourist
by: Jessica Marszalek (www.news.com.au)



DOCTORS used a case of vodka to help save an Italian tourist being treated for poisoning in a Queensland hospital.

And hospital authorities later proved very understanding about the booze bill.

The 24-year-old man was brought to Mackay Base Hospital, in north Queensland, two months ago after he had ingested a large amount of the poisonous substance ethylene glycol, found in antifreeze, which can cause renal failure and is often fatal.

In details just released by the hospital, Dr Pascal Gelperowicz, who led the man's treatment with Dr Todd Fraser, said the man was unconscious on arrival and his treatment was started immediately with pharmaceutical-grade alcohol, which works as an antidote to the poison.

But the hospital's alcohol supplies were soon exhausted.

"We quickly used all the available vials of 100 per cent alcohol and decided the next best way to get alcohol into the man's system was by feeding him spirits through a naso-gastric tube," Dr Gelperowicz said.

Dr Fraser said while the treatment was unconventional, it was very successful, with the patient having now made a full recovery.

"The patient was drip-fed about three standard drinks an hour for three days in the intensive care unit," he said.

"The hospital's administrators were also very understanding when we explained our reasons for buying a case of vodka."

It's believed the man was poisoned when attempting self-harm.



#30
Tea Helps Toughen Older Women's Hips
By Amanda Gardner
HealthDay Reporter


WEDNESDAY, Oct. 10 (HealthDay News) -- New Australian research suggests that having a cuppa (tea, that is) may help strengthen older women's hips.

"This study suggests that drinking tea in moderation can actually benefit your bones," said lead researcher Amanda Devine, a senior lecturer in the nutrition program at the School of Exercise, Biomedical and Health Science, Edith Cowan University, and adjunct senior lecturer at the University of Western Australia's School of Medicine and Pharmacology, in Perth.

"Those who drank tea in the study had a higher bone density over the four years that they were studied," she said. "These women lost less bone than those who did not drink tea. More than three-quarters of the women drank tea daily, and they consumed on average about three cups per day."

Outside experts called the findings intriguing but still preliminary.

"Some tea may be potentially helpful," said Paul Brandt, an associate professor of neuroscience and experimental therapeutics at Texas A&M Health Science Center College of Medicine. "One or two cups of tea a day probably couldn't hurt, but I wouldn't say that it absolutely will help. It's possible that it could prevent some loss."

Prior research has suggested that drinking tea may improve bone mineral density in people at risk for osteoporosis, but the findings are not conclusive. One study found that drinking green tea might help ease the inflammation and pain of rheumatoid arthritis.

Fractures, especially hip fractures associated with osteoporosis, are a major source of disability in postmenopausal women. Osteoporosis causes the bones to become fragile and more likely to break. Although it primarily affects older women, osteoporosis can affect others as well.

The new study, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, involved 1,500 elderly (70 to 85 years old) Australian women who participated in a five-year trial of the effect of calcium supplementation on osteoporotic hip fracture.

Information on tea consumption was collected at the beginning of the study for 275 participants, and all participants filled out a beverage consumption questionnaire at the end of the trial.

Bone mineral density at the hip was measured at years 1 and 5.

By the end of the study, bone mineral density at the hip was 2.8 percent greater in tea drinkers than in non-tea drinkers, the researchers found.

Over four years, tea drinkers lost an average of only 1.6 percent of their total hip bone mineral density, while non-tea drinkers lost 4 percent -- consistent with previous studies.

There was, however, no relationship between the amount of tea consumed and bone gains, which raises some questions about the mechanisms which might be responsible for the effect.

"We didn't see a dose-response to tea drinking -- that is, if you drank more tea, then your bones were even better," Devine said. "The lack of relationship may be due to the small numbers of tea drinkers in each group, once we started examining these data. When we just look at the whole group, we have more power to see a difference."

The authors speculated that certain components of tea, such as antioxidant flavonoids, might account for the benefit seen.

Flavonoids "have been shown to have a stimulatory effect on new cells that build bone in cell line studies," Devine explained. "Also, the weak estrogenic [effect] of phytoestrogens found in tea may be beneficial especially to older women whose levels of endogenous estrogen is low. Also, the addition of milk to tea will add calcium to the diet, which is also needed for healthy bones."
#31
Family & Parenting / Why Women Cry
October 07, 2007, 12:33:40 AM
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a
woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry
for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone he
asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth, and the rejection
that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone
else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and
fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and
fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside
him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to
use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the
clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs
her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the
doorway to her heart -- the place where love resides."


#32
This thread is dedicated to Miss Bambi:

Please share your favorite recipes with us, preferably with pictures.

Let me start:

This is one of my best, best, best recipes ever. Banana loves this.

Bistek -- Filipino BeefSteak (source: pinoycook.net)

Here's the link for the recipe:

http://www.pinoycook.net/cooking-food/filipino/bistek-filipino-beef-steak/2/

Here are some pics:






#33
General Topic / Women
September 17, 2007, 03:25:31 AM
by Maya Angelou


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants
to
see her in an hour...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a youth she's content to leave behind....



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a
meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a feeling of control over her destiny.



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself.



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend
without;
ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...




#34
Jokes and Humor / Preaching To A Bear
September 17, 2007, 02:53:33 AM
A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University In Marquette .
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.  One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really all that hard.  A real challenge would be to Preach to a bear...one thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience:-
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first:

"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.  Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled Him and Holy Mary, Mother of God,
he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first Communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory
He claimed:

"WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY
WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says,

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."



#35
Love Talk / Sisters
September 17, 2007, 02:27:56 AM
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,
drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As
they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her
glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance
upon her daughter.
! ;
'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling
the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll
be more important as you get older. No matter how
much you love your husband, no matter how much you
love the children you may have, you are still going
to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them.'!
 
'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other
women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women
always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman
thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely
my husband and the family we may start will be all I
need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact
with her Sisters and made more women friends each
year. As the years tumbled by, one after ano! ther,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom really
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature
work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,
Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:
 
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go .
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling f! or you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.
 
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
b! eside you...Or come in and carry you out.
 
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
#36
Jokes and Humor / Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
September 17, 2007, 02:21:43 AM
1st woman : Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman : Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman : I Froze to Death.
2nd woman : How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
about you?
2nd woman : I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But
instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the
attic and
searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
had
looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
keeled
over with a heart attack anddied.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still
be alive.



#37
Poems and Poets / You
September 16, 2007, 03:55:08 PM
You are the anchor that keeps me afloat
The rope holding me from a steep slope
My music when everything's quiet
My comfort, my joy, my happiness

You are the butter on my toast
The bird singing on my window
The amber light in the mornings
The red dusk at the end of each day

You are the rain on my parched heart
Fire on a cold night
You are all these things
But more than that

You are the blood flowing
through my veins
You are my life

#38
Love Talk / 10 Fatal Online Dating Errors
September 16, 2007, 01:40:16 PM
Mistakes that men make
By David Wygant
Special to Yahoo! Personals

Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.
Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get abrasive and crude.
Here's my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm making up! But all of them are things men actually do.
Top 10 email turnoffs for women

1. Don't ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her, because that's what she's going to think if you ask her this.

2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient.
Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.
Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.

3. Don't ask her how many other dates she's been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.

4. Don't send her a nasty email if she hasn't responded to you after several emails. It's her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.

5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don't send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going to respond.

6. If she gives you her phone number, don't wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn't call you back, don't be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.

7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?"
Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures
Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body. Men, don't do this!

8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she'll give you her phone number right away. Either way, don't be rude.

9. Do not email-stalk her.
Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day
Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking her out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll never go out with you.

10. Don't send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very first time, don't cut and paste an email message in July that you've been sending out for six months with a tagline that says, "I love the holidays." By doing that, she knows you didn't read her profile - and that you're really, really lazy!
Want to find out what works, check my Daily Dating Blog. If you need any more online dating tips, email me. I have another batch in my blog waiting for you to devour. I always enjoy hearing your comments.
#39
Love Talk / Saturday Mornings
September 09, 2007, 12:17:10 PM
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the
quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's
the unbounded joy of not having to be at work.  Either way, the first
few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.


A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup
of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other.  What began as
a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life
seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:


I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio
in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.  Along the way, I
came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a
golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the
broadcasting business.  He was telling whom-ever he was talking with
something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to
listen to what he had to say


"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they
pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your
family so much.  Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work
sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet.  It's too bad you
missed your daughter's "dance recital" he continued.  "Let me tell you
something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he
began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."


"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic.  The average
person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some
live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.


"Now then,  I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is
the number of  Saturdays that the  average person has in their entire
lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.


It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in
any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over
twenty-eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to
be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.  So
I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had.  I ended
up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took
them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right
here in the shack next to my gear."


"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it
away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on
the really important things in life.


There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to
help get your priorities straight."


"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take
my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last
marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next
Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing
we can all use is a little more time."


"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your
family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band.  This is a 75
Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"


You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off.
I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on
the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few
hams to work on the next club newsletter.


Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey,
I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she
asked with a smile. "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time
since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop
at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.


A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.


And so, as one smart bear once said..."If you live to be a hundred, I
want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live
without you." - Winnie the Pooh.
#40
Jokes and Humor / The Church Organist
September 09, 2007, 12:08:21 PM
There was a church down in Southwest Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
 
One of the ladies approached the organist very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them all over her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but she warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons because: "they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while". She agreed to try it.
 
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said.............


"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday."

#41
Jokes and Humor / Why You Should Stay With Your Wife
September 09, 2007, 12:06:37 PM
WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID
"HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A
SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP
EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."


NOW WE HAVE a $1,500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A NICE BIG BED AND A
PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO
ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."


MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT
25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE
LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED
AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.


AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT?


THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISES.






#42
Jokes and Humor / It Is Good To Be A Woman
September 09, 2007, 12:03:55 PM
It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
#43
Jokes and Humor / He Went Fishing, I Went Boating
September 09, 2007, 11:59:46 AM
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book.


Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"


"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?)"



"You are in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry,
officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading".



"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."



"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault", says the
woman.



"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.


"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment."



"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.



Moral: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

#44
Jokes and Humor / Politics
September 09, 2007, 11:57:02 AM
Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!



A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"  Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President.  Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.  We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.  The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.  And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.  Now think about that and see if it makes sense."


So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.


Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.  He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.  Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.  He gives up and goes back to bed.


The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."


The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."


The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep s***."


#45
Love Talk / The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee
September 09, 2007, 10:21:03 AM

>When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24
hours
>in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of
>coffee.
>A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
>front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very
large
>and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls . He
>then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
>The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
>jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
>between the golf balls . He then asked the students again if the jar
was
>full. They agreed it was.
>The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
>Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if
the
>jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
>The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and
>poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty
>space between the sand . The students laughed.
>"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
>recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
>important things--your family, your children, your health, your
friends
>and your favorite passions-- and if everything else was lost and only
>they remained, your life would still be full.
>The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
>and your car.
>The sand is everything else--the small stuff . "If you put the sand
into
>the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the
>golf balls . The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and
>energy on the small stuff you will never have room ! for the things
that
>are important.
>"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
>with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your
spouse
>out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to
clean
>the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first
--the
>things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand
."
>
>One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
>represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
>It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
>there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."