MikeLigalig.com

I have been touched in many ways
by what some may consider many men
Yet I have never encountered a touch as tender as yours.
Your touch has the sincerity of a child
I can feel the youth in your fingers as you tremble across my body
Un-taint me with your faith in love, in hope, in us.

Before we confront the world,
I ask that you close their eyes before I enter the room
Perhaps they may catch a glimpse of what you see
And I will feel beautiful. You make me feel beautiful
Simply by holding my hand.

This is a compilation of love letters, messages, blogs and poetry that i have been exchanging with an old flame for a couple of years. I just felt that they are raw, beautiful and worth sharing.

For all the romantics out there, enjoy.

P.S. he refers to me as Panama (in reference to a michael franks song) in the poems and blogs.

J,

Our love is dead. I can only go so long with an imaginary lover. I need something real and if you can't even feed the illusion, I will wake up. I have loved you too long. I have gven up more than once and you seem to reel me in every time i hold up the white flag. life is too short to live a one way love affair. It is time for me to live and you ran out of chances. We are through. We are through.
This will be my last letter.

D

Let’s run away, so there would be no more goodbyes,
where there are no more wars to fight but out own silly battles
over who will take out the trash
and who won the last scrabble game.

Lets take our sheets and build a home.
You don’t have to give me a ring
Just wake up beside me and I’ll be fine.
If only you could take me with you.
A soldier’s life is sad
but two soldier’s lives are short lived
and lonely.
Take me with you

I obtained this from an article written by US MAJ Thomas S. Bundt, in a synapsis of the Philippine Insurrection of 1899. The 'water cure' was mentioned uban sa other more un-ethical means of combat. Objective comments please.

Soldiers acted as representatives
of the United States and helped noncombatants
enhance their position through activities such as
building community infrastructure. These new pacification
methods proved enormously significant and evolved into the components of present-day peacekeeping
operations. Building schools and bringing literacy
to the Philippines was a positive act for future
American and Philippine relations. Brian Aldridge, Drive Them Until They Drop and Then Civilize Them (Ann Arbor,
MI: UMI Dissertation Services, 1993), 144; Birtle, 122-25; 161-163.

I just wanted to tap on the 'bringing literacy' part of the excerpt.

My dearest J,

Finally, I got to hear your voice today. The distance is killing me. If only this war would stop and we could live a normal life, away from the army, away from the war and everything that reminds us of it.

I am terrified to let you go. I meet men daily that have lost their arms, legs and sanity. I see you in every one of their eyes. This could be you, I think every time i seat one in the chair or see them at the bar. I don't want the man I love to be a stranger. Let me go with you! We could work together and at least I wont worry as much. I don't know what I would do without you.

The time is killing me. It has been half a year now and I have'nt seen you. I keep a picture of you as my screen saver so I wont forget your face. I smiled for you today on the web cam. The first smile in days. God, I miss you. there are too many things that I am missing but would never have known if I have'nt left my little island, you being one of them. I feel this way and you are only accross the country. What if they send one of us away? I know this may seem selfish of me but I dont want to be the one left behind.
What I would give to have you hold me again.

Love always,

D

I walk through the door
and one by one
articles of clothing fall from my body
Their eyes are powerful
or so they think
and in no time I am naked
amids a room full of lonley men
Lonliness reeks from their body in the guise of tequila, jack daniels and cheap American beer
fully clothed I am exposed
first my breasts, to the small of my back and all the curves below
and i am made love to violently
with their perverted eyes
behind a shot of vodka,
and I am bold!
but at this point
my breasts are more powerful than my brain
and all the wit that comes with it.
I hold the goods
the balls are in my court, baby!
I pull out a cigarette and a constillation of lights flash before me
exposing my nakedness
Naked.
I inhale and sigh as I see who is next in line
I feel for them
in all their hormone-charged perversion
Just like them.
In this aging bar
where we all go home alone.

For a second I thought I saw you at the clinic. Then I realized that he wasnt as tall as you. You haunt me, constantly I see you, I hear you ,I smell you, until I realize that he does'nt walk the same or the laugh isnt right. I smell you at the department store when men pass by. That is your colonge they are wearing! And I think to myself, how dare they? And then I fall back into the reality that you are not here, and like reverse magic, they become ordianry once again. And again, I wait. I wait for you to come home.

I am tired and tonight I will fall asleep with thoughs of your breath beside me.

I love you,

D

I feel a sense of melancholy at the fact that we had beautiful weather and I hadn't gone out of my room to get ice cream. I wanted to walk in the park and look at people pass by as I ate my coffee-flavored ice cream before it trickled down my arm and i would have to like the trickles off of the back of my hand.
I wanted to see the ducks, or go to the zoo perhaps and just walk around and talk. I have no one to go with here. The only places peolpe ever really invite me to is the bar, in hopes that I would get drunk enough to sleep with them at the end of the night. Doesn't happen. lucky for me, I have a high tolerance for alcohol and the men are normally drunk, aging and unappealing (not particularly in that order), so I go home alone and I can live with myself when I wake up in the morning.
I miss my man. He is several states away dong the exact same thing I am doing here in Washington I imagine, only in warmer weather. I often daydream of the day that we will meet again. Where I can live in a house and have someone to watch tv with. Until then, I have a window to glace out from, a fan to keep me cool this summer, my laptop and a vivid imagination to keep me stimulated.

Installing A Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

------------ --------- --------- -------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.



Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved Me.exe', try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.



Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.

0

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.



We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.



Good Luck, Tech Support

I tend to not over-rationalize things. Unfortunately , people at work see it as a flaw. I say it keeps me sane. It keeps me connected with myself and the world around me. I make a habbit of just being in the moment. Life isn't a puzzle to solve. If you just live it, answers will come, and when they do come, listen.

While we are here in this world, why not enjoy it?

If you are fortunate today, share your fortune.

There are some of us who do not wish other's to enjoy life. These people drain you because they don't know how else to live. I am still recovering from my exposure to people that want too much. They don't know what to take and they take it all, or they try to at least. Greed is what kills civilization. Why are we hoarding, when there is plenty for eveybody? There is plenty for everybody. It's there, breathe.

I have been spending years of my life trying to find home. I believe I have found it. It is with me and the people that I love. I have also spent years of my life trying to rush. Life is short, right. Do as much as you can with the time you have. If you think of it that way, yes, life is short. But we will all see each other again, in heaven perhaps, or in the next life or where ever you want to call it. Stories only end if you let them. Death is just a new beginning, a change, a part of life.

I guess what I am trying to say is, don't be hesitant. Live how you would want your life to be. There is nothing wrong with wealth as long as you share it, there is nothing wrong with touching as long as it is sincere, there is nothing wrong with loving as long as you mean it. Live today, why else are you in this world?

Dear J****,

I've been listening to these songs all evening. My neighbors are probably sick of hearing them, but for now it helps me remember you. If I close my eyes and listen long enough, I can feel you here listening with me. I havent been kissed in so long. Dont be supprised if i break down the next time that I see you. Hopefully that time you can stay and I wont have to worry about you not eating right or drinking too much. I just want to see you. Im tired of being alone.
Let's go home, so we can continue our scrabble games and I can watch you eat the dinner I made. Our shows are waiting for us and we can talk about what happened at work until we decide to call it a night and I'll fall asleep in your arms. I miss your arms and your lips,
and your smell on the sheets and in my hair.
I havent been sleeping well lately. Thoughts of you have been haunting me, or it could just be that I am not used to sleeping alone. It has been half a year and I'm still not used to being by myself. I am in a coccoon, waiting for the day that we can be together. Waiting for the day that you will come home to me. Come home to me. Come home.

With fire,
D*

for insurectus:
this has nothing to do with the topic but your defult picture had me thinking that something was wrong with my pc, lol. ( i had my courser chasing the damn bug for a good 4 minutes). yeah, yeah i know, im not the brightest crayon in the box.

I give you tonight to hold me.
Now, you are my only truth.

Naked, I lie with you
Truth unashamed
before you let me walk away
now, is my forever in a day.

These walls are only borrowed
Soon, I must return to the nowhere I belong
How sad that I have found peace within your distant arms,
your sad eyes
your gentle smile;
But tomorrow must come
and  forever will be gone

I leave you behind to wonder
within these borrowed walls
what another day would be like
another kiss
another chance at love unashamed
the morning will be too late
for by then, I am gone.

Orgasmic Crash

For just two seconds, the world stopped

now my heart is throbbing, loud in my palms

as i hold them to my ears

and crack a huge f***ing smile.



damn, that was good!

let me just lie here for a moment

my hair wet

my body moist

smelling like you

a huge f***ing smile



just let me giggle

its okey if you fall asleep

as long as you're beside me.

i just want to feel your warmth

and just for a moment

nothing else matters

but this room

this room is the world

and i am an empress

with a huge f***ing smile.

Have you ever dropped a scoop if ice cream when you were little? The heart-broken regret you feel as a child. 'I should have been more careful' you thought, but the damange was already done, you dropped it and could only wonder what it would have felt like to have it in your cone. To savor the cool. sweetness of its flavors with all the other children next to the ice cream cart. they were all carefull, they all had their ice cream.
I left Germany December last year. At the time I was living with a man. who i had stayed with for almost 3 years. I had grown to love him but was still very unsure of what would become of us. So I left, as soldiers do, thinking "this is it. I am going to leave the man that I have loved for almost 3 years." I hated leaving. I hated starting over again. But that's what I did. It was part of what kept me alive. So I left.
When I was in California, he called often. Said how much he missed me. Then he moved back to the states, the calls were fewer and far between and all of a sudden the calls stopped. I was upset vut not devestated. I was going to Texas.
A good friend of mine picked me up at the San Antonio airport and she took me to base. I thought I knew where I was going but they changed the companies arround so much since the last time i was there that i was abolutely lost. it was almost midnight and I was lost. Brandi had to be at work at 7 am and she lived 45 minutes away. I had a lot of luggage so I had to stay somewhere. The police station was around the corner, a cab driver was next to it so i decided to ask for directions from one of these guys. they shoud know where im supposed to be. Then, from nowhere, a man drives up and asks me if i need any help. "Yes, yes I do." I put all my luggage in his car and we drove off...

Six plane rides, 15 cab rides, miles and miles of running and a Harley ride later, I am finally in a place where I am allowed to have my very own internet service  !!!I know its been almost half a year since i was last here and I havent forgotten about my friends here in TB (that is if they still remember me).
Updates: I am pretty much doing the same thing, just in a different part of the world. I have finally decided on settling for one man (the same guy I have been seeing for the past 3 years) and George, green and skinny for those of you who remember, has been adopted by a good friend of mine in Germany. My friends felt that I was having the empty nest syndrome since I have been stationed far away from the man and bamboo-american that I love, so they decided to give me George Jr. who now resides in my room nest to the chinese dog figurine.
I now suck spit in a trailor in my very own (dental) operatory. my unconventional way of seeing patients has brought me some popularity amonst the soldier-patients and i have gotten many compliments (and phone numbers) from the greatful and the lonely. Something about music, dim lights and the sound of your teeth being scrapped with sharp instruments just makes a man happy to be alive (*sigh*, people sometimes *shakes head*). I have to admit, i miss my old unit and the guys there. they were like a family to me. this new place i am at is very imperssonal and i miss the commeraderie of the buddies i left behind. i hope they come home safe.
now I have decided to keep things quiet. no more crazy parties, no Harley's and wild nights out. i'm tired and its just not as fun as it used to be. i am finally out of my element and that can only mean one thing, after years of searching, I have found out where home is.

Nag-decide ang ahong BF na mag re-vamp sa among room. I wen't for the pseudo Zen look and of course, George has a new home and he fits right in!!!
For all of you who have yet to meet George, he is my Bamboo-American friend. He likes to go on long car rides and he is a big smash in the local social scene diri sa Landstuhl,  .

    They placed new asphalt on the road right in front of our baracks. The job is terrible! I was not aware of this and one mornng on my way to work, i slipped on the stairs and caught my footing in the wet asphalt. I am now very prficient in the art of American curse. As i was exerciseing this newly found tonuge, horrified day care attendants were covering the ears of the easily influenced children in the children's day care. As I limped away from the scence I created (and the snickers of the day care personnel), I was thinking, this is how my life is right now, the asphalt, the snickers, the awed and the astound faces of the audience that i just happened to have before me. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my life  .

I am still trying to get a new duty station. My time here in Germany is up. I put in for a 30 day extention, my slot for hygine school has been taken due to a mishap on the part of somebody who was processing my paperwork but oh well, just another bump in the road. I have 2 years to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life and who I want to spend it with. I am getting a little older, all my peers are getting married and having babies around me. This used to bother me but now I realize that there is now real rush. What should I do. I am still stuck in the damn asphalt. Still finding my nitch.

I know, I know... I should let my friends know if I am still alive. I know that it's been a long time since I have checked in with any of you guys and I know Sigbin must be worried about me by now. Just been having some changes in the family that needed my attention. I just got informed a month ago that i was going to be stationed back to the states only to be informed two months later that my class date has been moves to next year. That would mean that i woulndt be going anywhere and that would leave a very undesirable effect to my career and my life. I looked into the matter and there has been a mistake made which I cannot disclose at the moment but I am confident that I am moving back to the states before the year is over which will be very good for me. I know that this might now make that much sense but I can only give so much information without getting in trouble, so bare with me.
Take care my friends and wish me luck!
love all around 

I think the hardest part of my job is moving on. Being so far away from home, we in the military make our own family, black, white, brown,purple,yellow... just like out real family, we don't chose who our family is. So when it's time to move on, it's like leaving your family again, and contrary to what people say, you never move on. They are with you forever, just like your family is with you forever.

Nobody from UB here? Would like to know some news.

I will share some of the craziness that I call life with my fellow Bol-anons.
Just kind of busy right now between work and school. But I can't wait to do some recreational writing.

Hugs for all!!!

I think I was only 20 when I left Bohol, and I was terrified.
Since then I have been romping and roaming, soul searching and partying hard. When Uncle Sam's field rep said that 'Uncle Sam wants you!' I said 'Sure, why not?".
So here I am, in Germany, working as a dental assistant with an assigned riffle.

Right now I am watching a s**tty French Film with naked women in a bath tub. I didn't know that it was going to be French when I Borrowed the damn thing. Did I mention that it's not that good.

Thanks for making this website. It's like having a piece of home at my finger tips.

Salamat jamo!