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If You Suspect You Partner Is Cheating, What Are You Going To Do? Forgive?

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comran

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This is very interesting topic especially with the filipinos' double standard.  A lot of filipino men are habitual cheaters and it is almost accepted by our society and forgiven by their partner.  I have asked several men this question "Would you expect your partner to forgive you if you were caught cheating? and most of them said yes.  Turned the tables around, if they caught their partner cheating, their answer would be "hell no!"

What do you think?

Ciao

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Maria Carmen

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2009, 05:06:57 AM »
I have never cheated on my lover, nor my past lovers. Never.
It has always been they who cheated on me or were unfaithful to me, which is probably due to my forgiving nature.
I have forgiven so many times and been hurt in the past that I actually became unforgiving in my latter half of college.

Trust is a big thing for me.
If someone breaks my trust, and crushes my heart, I cannot forgive them...or if I do..it takes quite a long time.

I have 'cut off' alot of lovers/ x-lovers in my life.
And I can go on quite positively while they try in vain to try to contact me and ask to 'talk again'.
When I 'cut off' a person from my life, it usually is permanent.
It takes extra-ordinary circumstance for me to even give them a secondary chance.

Like I said, I am very luoran.
Cheat on me once, you're out.

The thought of cheating on my lover is out of the question. I simply would not, nor do I have thoughts of it.

My view.

:)

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2009, 05:10:08 AM »
If I cant trust a person in the first place, why would I consider taking another risk in being betrayed a second time?

But to answer your question, Carmen, if I did ever (hypothetically speaking) cheated on my lover, I would take the full responsibility and end the relationship in the first place.

For me to cheat on a person indicates a failure in the relationship, to continue with a failed relationship would be, in my point of view, inopportune. My own loss.

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ms da binsi

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2009, 05:49:34 AM »
Carms if it is still a suspicion, i have to find it out! I am very good at it. I find it fun and thrilling! But if i caught him cheating, which had happen before, then i will try to compete, (which i won) but for the second time i left him with no explanation.

I never looked back and it sure wouldnt hurt. So girls nover look back. Cut off any communications of whatsoever. period.

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comran

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2009, 05:57:50 AM »
Good for you dabinsi! See, we women are more forgiving and we fight for what is rightfully ours sometimes. Men on the other hand don't! I did not catch my ex red-handed but the obvious signs were there and like you I had enough and left him. Once I leave there is never a coming back!  I applaud you for being a strong woman.

Ciao  :-*

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Maria Carmen

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jorgeanna

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2009, 03:16:32 PM »
if we are talking about boyfriends, nobody is allowed to cheat on me. this was really the main reason why i left almost all of my ex-boyfriends (even though one of them said it was just a harmless date)... but with regards to my hubby, i might forgive him and give him a second chance. Thanks God, this situation never happened to me (yet! cross my fingers).

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comran

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2009, 03:25:59 PM »
Lorenzo, I really admire you for being faithful to your partner! That is a rarity these days and I hope you stay the same.

Sometimes people cheat because they need to take time or space from their partner, dissatisfied with theri relationship which means they are probably ready to move on/out - which brings us to our question few days ago that I believe it is important that divorce should be mandated in the Philippines.

You and I have experienced unfaithful partners and it has traumatized us beyond belief but we do not give up, right!
Good luck to you!

Ciao

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Maria Carmen

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comran

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2009, 03:28:28 PM »
Anna, you are just among us... we are forgiving because we love our partners.  Hypothetically speaking, would he do the same if you've done the same thing? Take care of each other!

Ciao

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Maria Carmen

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mistyeyed

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2009, 03:37:07 PM »
For me, if he is still by boyfriend,I would leave him right away.But i was thingking, if ever he will be my husband na, I think I have to ask first why he did it and then if I am satisfied with his explaination and he will ask for another chance, i will try to give but if utrohon pa,and then you you know already in yourself that you already give all your best to the relationship, I think I have to go without even saying a word anymore,kahit na siguro may anak na kami o wala pa.I have to go far from him,cut all communications and then start to live a new life alone and I will say to myself: "It's not my loss but it is his loss because I tried to be good in that relationship."

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"You will be happy if you're living the truth...as the truth will set you free"

Keep Smiling :)

  Misty LOVE   :)

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comran

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2009, 04:03:54 PM »
Hello Misty, I like the fact that you are still forgiving and yet firm on your ground.  We women should not tolerate repeated unfaithfulness from our partner.  I asked the same question.... would he grant you the same if you have been unfaithful to him?

Ciao

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Maria Carmen

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2009, 07:31:14 PM »
Lorenzo, I really admire you for being faithful to your partner! That is a rarity these days and I hope you stay the same.

Sometimes people cheat because they need to take time or space from their partner, dissatisfied with theri relationship which means they are probably ready to move on/out - which brings us to our question few days ago that I believe it is important that divorce should be mandated in the Philippines.

You and I have experienced unfaithful partners and it has traumatized us beyond belief but we do not give up, right!
Good luck to you!

Ciao

Good morning Carmen, thanks for the beautiful / sweet reply.

I am and will always be a hopeless romantic, my dear. The reason why I became so very 'strict' 2-3 years ago is because of the continued cycle of me being too forgiving (i am, by nature, very forgiving, and still am!) and this results in me giving my xlovers a second change, 3rd chance etc etc (you see where i am going with this), and it became so painful for me that i actually reached a personal epiphany. Why was I allowing myself to be hurt? If this woman was cheating on me and continually hurting me despite the fact that she knew how much i was affected, tears filled my face--but it was with a heavy heart that I had to cut her off. Completely cut her off. Even now, she tries to contact me, but I delete all her emails, rip her mails, and burned all her letters that she and I had regular correspondence with. I burned them all.

In the pursuit of erasing and cleansing these feelings, I realized that I became a person who I really was not.

I had to deal with this last year and the beginning of this year as I was in mass. My priest told me, after telling him my situation and the internal struggle I was having, he simply said, "My son, you must let go of this anger, let go of this hurt, for if you retain it, it will burn a whole within you that will be irreparable if you let it consume you. Let it go, my son. In its place, take Christ's forgiving nature. Let it go, my son."

And this year, Carmen, I let it go.
Sweety, I let it go. Oh and the feeling was so absolutely beautiful.

And I know that God does work in wonders, for the time i let it go, I met my love.
Coincidentally. :)

It realy is good to forgive. Forgive so that we, too, may be forgiven by God from all of our own sins.
He knows the depth of my soul, and the depth of my longing.
And has provided provision after provision.


Thanks for hearing me out, buddy!


Lorenzo,

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2009, 07:36:05 PM »
And my message to you Carmen,

You are the type that is truly a beautiful heart!
I can feel an aura of sweet understanding from you!
For sure who ever has the honor of courting you again, will see through the physical beauty and take a bite of the inner beauty and soft emotional understanding that is the core of your being.

For me, I have always tried to look for the inner beauty more so than the physical.
Physical is nice, for sure, its natural;
but it is the inner beauty, and loving nature that makes a relationship work, and complements the man's own inner personality.

I hope and pray, Carmen, that you find your other half, and will be able to fill you and complement you in totality.
Am sure, you will!

It usually is the one you least expect that is the answer to your prayer.

CHEERS!
GOD BLESS!

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2009, 08:16:57 PM »
For me, if he is still by boyfriend,I would leave him right away.But i was thingking, if ever he will be my husband na, I think I have to ask first why he did it and then if I am satisfied with his explaination and he will ask for another chance, i will try to give but if utrohon pa,and then you you know already in yourself that you already give all your best to the relationship, I think I have to go without even saying a word anymore,kahit na siguro may anak na kami o wala pa.I have to go far from him,cut all communications and then start to live a new life alone and I will say to myself: "It's not my loss but it is his loss because I tried to be good in that relationship."

Misty, I understand your personal stance. Completely understand where you are coming from.
Keep on smiling, my dear!


Understandingly,
Lorenz

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mistyeyed

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2009, 02:42:49 PM »
Hello Misty, I like the fact that you are still forgiving and yet firm on your ground.  We women should not tolerate repeated unfaithfulness from our partner.  I asked the same question.... would he grant you the same if you have been unfaithful to him?

Ciao



Dili ko ka tubag ana kay iya man nang self but mostly sa mga laki dili na mo grant ug second chance but ug ako pod ang mag cheat, dili napod ko mo ask ug chance oi kay once mag cheat ko,meaning wa na jud ko ganahi sa akong partner maong di naku mo balik niya.Di ko moangay mag duwa duwa ug relasyon kay luoy ang na biktima maong nga ug dili na,dili na na,ug sige pa then mag cooperate tang duha.

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"You will be happy if you're living the truth...as the truth will set you free"

Keep Smiling :)

  Misty LOVE   :)

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mistyeyed

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2009, 02:43:48 PM »
Misty, I understand your personal stance. Completely understand where you are coming from.
Keep on smiling, my dear!


Understandingly,
Lorenz



Thank you...but inspite of my past, I still have time to laugh and expect good things in life.

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"You will be happy if you're living the truth...as the truth will set you free"

Keep Smiling :)

  Misty LOVE   :)

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bugsay

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #15 on: November 11, 2009, 02:58:18 PM »
aw kon nagsuspetsa pa lang diay....klaruhon sa una...kay basin dili tinuod.

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βυγσαψ

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lindy

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #16 on: November 11, 2009, 03:07:24 PM »
Aron dili mo masuspetsahan pananghid mo una ug pangayo daan ug pasaylo.

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mistyeyed

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2009, 03:10:46 PM »
aw kon nagsuspetsa pa lang diay....klaruhon sa una...kay basin dili tinuod.






Bitaw klarohon usa kay basin sayop..daghan ra ba pod nadaut sa maling akala,daghan pod nadauot sa maling desisyon at maling paniniwala na nagbago na but hindi pala. ;D

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"You will be happy if you're living the truth...as the truth will set you free"

Keep Smiling :)

  Misty LOVE   :)

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mistyeyed

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2009, 03:12:15 PM »
Aron dili mo masuspetsahan pananghid mo una ug pangayo daan ug pasaylo.




Hahahah.expert jud nis Mr. Flavor ba.,pareho man ni sa mo kompisal,unya kay kahibalo naman ug pila ka amahan namo ang ihatag sa pare anang sala-a, moingon nalangug e times two nalang naku kay mo utro pa raba ko. ;D

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"You will be happy if you're living the truth...as the truth will set you free"

Keep Smiling :)

  Misty LOVE   :)

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Lorenzo

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Re: IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING, WHAT ARE GOING TO DO? FORGIVE?
« Reply #19 on: November 11, 2009, 08:22:27 PM »


Thank you...but inspite of my past, I still have time to laugh and expect good things in life.

And that is how it should be, Misty. It's healthy to keep a light and an open heart. Too serious a life will become a very boring, bland, tense life. Dili ta angay ana.

Sometimes, we need to laugh alot, drink some wine (or hard alcohol, etc), dance to love, bed with a lover, spend time with family, laugh with friends, and open our hearts to God's Loving Forgiveness.

Because without these, Misty, one looses the beauty in life.

Peace!

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