Date or Acquaintance Rape
Date rape is a serious crime with serious consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator. Many perpetrators rationalize their acts by claiming that their dates led them on by being flirtatious. Others feel that because they paid for the date, they therefore were owed sexual intercourse as compensation. Continuing to force sexual activity after being told no is considered rape and is punishable under the law.
Alcohol and drugs often are present in date-rape situations. For the victim, use of these substances can impair her judgment, memory and ability to sense an unsafe situation developing. Some date rapes occur after the victim has passed out from too much alcohol. Drugs and alcohol also may cause the perpetrator to become more sexually aggressive.
Date rape especially can be hard for the victim to deal with because it was committed by an acquaintance. Victims often berate themselves for not using caution or better judgment. Like other forms of rape, date rape is not primarily about sex. It is an act of violence in which power and control are the underlying motivating factors. Counseling through a rape crisis center can help victims cope with the trauma and make more informed decisions about their legal options
Avoid Becoming a Victim back to top
The following tips can help prevent you from becoming a victim:·
Provide your own transportation to and from your date. This asserts your independence and makes it easier to get away from an unpleasant or dangerous situation.
Carry cab fare and a cell phone when possible.· Refrain from drinking alcohol or taking drugs. Be especially wary of situations in which games or contests encourage drinking lots of alcohol in a short time.· Be aware of your surroundings, and avoid isolated areas. If you are even the least bit uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation immediately.· Examine your feelings about sex, and establish your limits before you are in a sexual situation. Then communicate those limits clearly and forcefully.· Do not give mixed messages; be clear. Say yes when you mean yes, and say no when you mean no. If you have trouble doing this, counseling or assertiveness training can help.· Do not worry about seeming impolite or causing a scene if you feel that your safety is threatened.· Be aware of specific situations in which you do not feel relaxed or in control. Avoid attending or staying late at parties where men greatly outnumber women, especially when drinking is involved. If you decide to leave early, do not be worried that it might seem rude.· Until you get to know and trust your date better, stick to dates in public places like movie theatres or restaurants. Try a double date or group date until you feel comfortable on a solo date.· Think twice before inviting someone home. Most date rapes occur in the victim's own residence. Take time to develop a trusting relationship before going to your date's house.· Be extra cautious about what you consume. The increased use of date-rape drugs like Rohypnol poses a real danger to your safety. Avoid beverages that are not sealed or were not prepared in your sight.· Trust your instincts. Many victims report that they sensed things were not quite right, but were embarrassed to act on their suspicions until it was too late.
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