Author Topic: complicated love story  (Read 2348 times)

balong

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complicated love story
« on: June 07, 2017, 05:39:57 PM »


Before love, comes friendship. Friendship that has been built from solid rock. Couple’s bond started when they were still younger or even older. There’s a proverb: ‘You can never be friends with a guy without developing it to something else’. Which many couples can attest.

A woman named Mia posted her touching love story in UP Secret Files. Technology has a way of helping other people vent out their emotions through posting with these kind of pages. Secret files lets you be free and pour your heart out. Also, you can stay anonymous if you want to.

Mia’s lovestory was 18 years in the making. She met her first love at a classroom during their freshman year. They were inseperable from having the same classes, organizations and even together during lunch breaks. They became best of friends.




 
They spent Christmas with each others family. People that knew them were wondering why they weren’t dating which they shrugged and gave definite answers. But they talked about it and still nothing is official.

Then, Mia realized she was falling deep and can’t fathom life without him by her side. But she kept her feelings to her self in fear of loosing her best friend and first love.

One day, she was supposed to go home but was forced to stay in her apartment because she was so sick. He then knocked on her door step and took care of her the entire day. He sang Hey Jude from Beatles to lull her to rest. His gestures made Mia more deeply inlove.


 
A beautiful relationship started when he asked Mia on a date during Chirstmas break. She was ecstatic and in disbelief that finally he was starting to feel something for her.

They graduated at the University, then, a year after, he proposed to her in the place where they first met. Their friends and family helped him staged the sweet proposal which Mia said yes.

They decided to get married the next year. Unlike other brides, Mia’s wedding preparation was smooth sailing. Two weeks before they say I do, he kneeled infront of her and was asking to cancel the wedding. He was being a coward and so afraid that his love was not true. He felt like that he is oblige to love Mia because everyone said so.



Due to heartbreaks and devastation of reality, Mia went to the States to start fresh. Years has passed, he got married to someone else. Mia went back to the Philippines to visit some family members, when she bumped into him in a mall. Talk a about fate. They had awkward conversations but still managed to be adults.

Mia went back to the US and suddenly received an email from him. Saying he’s not in good terms with his wife and still inlove with her so he’s coming to the US to search for his lost soul.

They played house and selfish Mia grabbed their borrowed time. But their time has come to an end, he received a text from his wife that they were having a son. Mia decided to leave him and went into hiding because she can’t fathom being a homewrecker. He returned to the Philippines to be with his wofe and new born son.

You may hate Mia all you want, but the real reason she did what she did is because she was diagnosed with Stage 2A bone cancer. On her self defense, if you love someone you will do everything to be with him. She was spending her time left with her first love for selfish reasons. Lowkey, he never knew about Mia’s condition at all. Also, they never had any closure since Mia suddenly left.

This is not your ordinary love story/confession. Ang confession na ito ay almost 18 years in the making. Sana mapagbigyan kahit mahaba. Sinubukan ko namang pagkasyahin dito ang lahat ng nangyari within the last 18 years. Hindi man masyadong masaya ang ending, I regret nothing.
Nagkakilala tayo sa AS. Sa isang classroom sa first floor. Pareho tayong freshman sa isang GE class at naging close tayo. Matagal na rin kaya hindi ko na masyado maalala ko pano tayo naging close. Basta simula nun, hindi na tayo mapaghiwalay. Pareho tayo ng org na sinalihan, sabay tayong mag-lunch, mag-dinner. Basta we were always together. Sabay tayong lumaki, sabay na nagbago ang ideals at namulat sa realidad ng mundo. We were the best of friends, yung tipong every other year magkasama mag-celebrate ng Christmas ang families natin. Dumating rin sa point na laging tinatanong ng mga magulang natin kung kailan daw ba magiging tayo. Yun na lang daw ang kulang satin.
Pati friends and orgmates natin lagi tayong tinutukso. Bakit pa raw kasi pa-bestfriend pa tayo e sa pagiging magsyota rin naman daw tayo babagsak. All through the years natin sa UP, lagi nila tayong sinasabihan ng ganun pero di natin sila pinapansin.
Madalas rin namang mauwi sa mga ganung topic ang paguusap natin. Minsan nasabi mo sakin na never mo pang nararanasan ma-inlove ng katulad sa mga telenovela. Yung tipong papatay at gagawa ng kung anu-anong katangahan para sa taong mahal mo. Ang sabi ko sayo di naman ata totoo yung love na katulad sa tv. Di naman kailangan maging OA pag in love.
I was wrong though.
Nainlove ako sayo. As in nahulog talaga. You were my first love. Hindi ko alam kung pano. Hindi ko alam kung kailan basta ang alam ko kailangan kita sa buhay ko at hindi ko kayang mabuhay ng wala ka. Siyempre hindi mo alam yun. Di rin naman ako nagtapat bilang duwag ako at ayokong mawala ka sakin.
Tapos isang araw bigla na lang nagbago tingin mo sakin. Sa pagkakatanda ko, nagsimula ang lahat nung nagkasakit ako nung last year natin sa UP. Magpapasko nun at wala akong ibang kasama sa apartment na tinutuluyan ko. Hindi ako makauwi samin kasi nga may sakit ako at di ko kayang gumalaw. Hindi pa masyadong uso ang cellphones nun kaya wala akong way para ma-contact ka kaya nagulat na lang ako nung dumating ka. Akala ko umuwi ka na sa inyo, instead inalagaan mo ko buong araw. Napaka-patient mo pa sakin kasi nung umiiyak na ko sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko niyakap mo lang ako at kinantahan mo ko.
Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan yung song na yun. Yung Hey Jude ng Beatles. Pinakita mo sakin kung gano ko ka-importante sayo at dahil dun, lalo pa kong na-in love sayo. Kaya nga sobrang saya ko nung niyaya mo kong mag-date after ng Christmas break. Hindi ko alam kung tatalon ba ko or sisigaw sa sobrang saya. Hindi ko inakalang mahal mo rin ako. I thought it was the start of a beautiful relationship.
And for the most part, it was. We were awesome together, dare I say perfect? Walang mapaglagyan ang saya ko nung maka-graduate na tayo. Then, fast forward to one year later, 2003. With the help of your friends, nag propose ka sakin sa harap ng college kung san tayo unang nagkakilala. I was the happiest woman in the world when I said yes. Akala ko talaga yun na.
Nagkasundo tayo, pati pamilya natin, na magpakasal the next year. Never ako na-stress sa pagaayos ng kasal natin. Sobrang na-enjoy ko nga e. Pero two weeks before the actual wedding, dumating ang stress ko. Lumuhod ka sa harap ko ang nagmakaawang patawarin kita kasi hindi mo kayang ituloy ang kasal. Sabi mo na-pressure ka lang ng pamilya mo, mga kaibigan mo to pursue a relationship with me. Akala mo rin mahal mo ko kasi nga di ka pa naiinlove. Pero ngayon, nainlove ka sa isang girl sa office niyo na hindi ko naman kilala. Siguro kung gano ko nahulog sayo, ganun ka rin nahulog sa kanya.
Sobrang sakit pero pinilit kong ipakita sayo na ok lang. Na kaya kong tanggapin na hanggang best friend lang talaga ang pagtingin mo sakin. Na nag-settle ka lang for second best at since nakita mo na yung best, the love of your life, ready ka na mag move on. Pinatawad kita kasi mahal kita e pero hindi na naisalba ang friendship natin. Naisip ko pa nun, dalawang linggo na lang, bat di pa umabot? Pero naisip ko rin na mas mahirap nga naman kung natuloy yung kasal natin pero di mo naman ako mahal.
After nun, sa sobrang humiliation and pain, I ran away to the States with my family and I never spoke to you again. I spent a few years there and tried to rebuild my life na nasira ng sobrang pagmamahal ko sayo. On my second year, sa US, nagkasakit ako. I was diagonsed with stage 2A bone cancer. Nasa lahi rin namin but still, it was surprising. May hope pa naman for treatment so lumaban ako. Radiation. Chemo. Ginawa ko lahat. For a while, I was in remission. Akala ko nanaman yun na. Akala ko second chance ko na yun para sumaya.
Mali nanaman ako. Bumalik yung cancer ko and this time, mas malala na sya. Pwede pa rin naman daw i-treat kaya lang pampahaba na lang raw ng buhay ko yun. Di na raw ako gagaling. Maghintay at magdasal na lang raw ang magagawa ko. Nung una, hindi ko matanggap. Hindi ako makapaniwalang hanggang dito na lang ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ko. Eventually, natanggap ko rin. Mahirap. Masakit. Pero ano bang magagawa ko?
2010 nang bumalik ako sa Pilipinas. Di sinasadyang nagkita tayo sa isang mall. Tumubo na ulit buhok ko nun kaya di halatang may sakit ako. Niyaya kitang magkape. Nung una awkward. Ano nga ba naman masasabi mo sa babaeng iniwan mo sa altar di ba? Pero eventually, naging ok rin naman paguusap natin. Matagal na nga naman nung nangyari yun. Move on na. Catch up lang sa mga nangyari over the last four years. Nagtatrabaho ka na pala sa isang sikat na law firm. Pinakasalan mo na rin pala siya. Halos 1 year na pala kayo. Mukhang sya talaga ang true love mo.
Nasaktan ako. Kasi bakit hindi ako? Mas matagal tayong magkakilala, nagsama. Mas gusto ako ng pamilya mo, mga kabarkada mo. Ako dumamay sayo sa lahat ng problema mo simula pa college tayo. Bakit hindi ka na lang sakin nahulog e ako yung nakaabang? Bakit sa kanya pa e napadaan lang naman sya.
So tinanong kita kung minahal mo ba talaga ko. Ang sabi mo hindi mo alam. Ang alam mo lang mahal mo ko kasi kaibigan mo ko, na mahirap bigyang kahulugan yung mga nararamdaman mo sakin kasi masyadong kumplikado. Pero inamin mo rin na sobrang nasaktan ka nung umalis ako ng Pilipinas ng di nagpapaalam. Tinanong mo ko kung posible bang magmahal ng dalawang tao ng sabay.
Napaiyak na lang ako. E anong gusto mong gawin ko? Umarte na parang best friend mo pa rin kahit sobrang pakiramdam ko nagamit ako? Pero higit sa lahat, napaiyak ako kasi narealize kong after all these years, mahal na mahal pa rin kita. At mamatay yata akong ikaw lang ang minahal ko.
Ewan. Binigay mo saking ang number mo at naghiwalay tayo nung araw na yun ng mabigat ang kalooban ko. 2011, nagpasya ko na bumalik sa States. Tinext kita at sinabi kong babalik na ko sa Amerika. Di ko alam kung bat pa ko nagpaalam sayo. Di ka rin naman sumagot.
2 months after kong makabalik sa States, nakatanggap ako ng email galing sayo. Di ko alam kung san mo nakuha email address ko. Tinanong mo kung san ako nakatira. Nung una ayokong sumagot pero di rin naman ako nakatiis. Binigay ko rin sayo address ng apartment ko.
Nung dumating ka, may daladala kang isang malaking suitcase. Natakot ako kasi, anong ibig sabihin nun? Then sinabi mo sakin na iniwan mo yung asawa mo. At least, yun ang pagkakaintindi ko. Sabi mo nagaway kayo at sabi mo sa kanya gusto mo lang hanapin ang sarili mo. Na bigyan ka lang niya ng ilang buwan. Siyempre hindi siya pumayag kaya bigla ka na lang umalis. Tumakas.
Ang sabi ko sayo baliw ka. Nagmakaawa ako sayong umuwi ka na sa Pilipinas. Lumuhod ako at umiyak at sinabi kong ayokong maging maninira ng pamilya pero sabi mong hinding-hindi mo na ko iiwan. Na kailangan mong mag-apologize para sa lahat ng nagawa mo sakin.
Pinatuloy kita sa pamamahay ko. Tao lang ako. Mahina lang din ako. At dahil mahal na mahal kita, hindi ko magawang humindi. Hindi ko sinabi sayong may sakit ako kasi alam kong matatauhan ka rin naman at babalik ka sa asawa mo. Kung malaman mong may sakit ako, hindi ka aalis kahit gusto mo na kong iwan kasi magi-guilty ka. Kilala kita e.
For a while, we played house. I did my best na itago sayo ang condition ko. At times, sobrang hirap dahil pahina na ng pahina ang katawan ko. There were days when I can barely get out of bed. Ganun kasakit. Pero you stayed with me. Took care of me. Sa mga days na sobrang sakit, niyayakap mo ko at kinakantahan mo ko ng Hey Jude, tulad ng dati.
During that time din, sinabi mo sakin na nagkamali ka. Na mahal mo rin pala ko katulad ng pagmamahal mo sa asawa mo. Masaya na ko, kaso kahati ko pa rin siya. Pero wala akong pakialam. I'll take what I can get.
Akala ko dati, ako yung taong hindi kayang maging kabit ng kung sino mang lalakeng may asawa. Akala ko kakainin ako ng konsensya ko pero totoo pala yung love sa mga telenovela no? Kapag mahal mo yung tao, lahat gagawin mo, kahit pa may nasasaktan kang iba, para lang mapasayo yung taong mahal mo.
Sobrang naging selfish ako nung mga panahong yun. Ang iniisip ko, mamatay na rin naman ako e. Gusto ko lang makaranas ng kasiyahan sa mga nalalabing oras ng buhay ko. Kahit hiram na kasiyahan lang sa asawa mo, sana pagbigyan na nya ko. Sana pagbigyan na ko ng tadhana na kahit sandali lang bago ko mamatay masaya ko.
Then dumating yung time na kintatakutan ko. Simula nung dumating ka sa US, never mo sinagot ang emails and messages sayo ng kahit sinong kakilala mo sa Pilipinas. But then you began communicating with your wife again. I had no idea what the nature of your conversation was. Ang alam ko lang, eto na yun. Malapit ka nang umalis ulit. Malapit mo na kong iwan ulit.
Kaya naisip ko, kung sasabihin ko kaya sayo na may sakit ako, will you stay? You probably would. Ayokong gamitin yung sakit ko para maitali kita sa akin pero wala na akong iba pang maisip. Hindi ko kakayanin kung iiwan mo ko ulit. Blackmail na kung blackmail. Mali na kung mali. Wala akong pakialam.
Pero on the day na sasabihin ko na sayo na may cancer ako, naunahan mo ko at sinabi mo sakin na kakapanganak lang ng asawa mo. Lalaki ang panganay niyo. Hindi mo alam na buntis pala siya nung umalis ka. Hindi niya sinabi sayo dahil sobrang galit siya pero kinalaunan naisip niyang may karapatan kang malaman na may anak na kayong dalawa.
Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa noon. Wala na rin pala akong pagasang sumaya. Hindi ko pagkakaitan ang isang inosenteng bata ng ama niya dahil lang sa sobrang pagmamahal ko. Napaka-destructive ng love ko para sayo. Pero di ko sisirain ang buhay ng anak mo.
New Year 2012. Iniwan kita. Natutulog ka ng mahimbing. Nilagay ko ang passport mo at isang ticket pabalik ng Pilipinas sa lamesa kasama ng isang sulat kung saan nagmakaawa ako sayong pakawalan mo na ko at bumalik ka na sa pamilya mo. Kahit kailan di ko ipanagtapat sayo yung tunay na kalagayan ko. Mas mabuti na rin siguro na hindi mo alam. Mas mabuti na siguro kung iisipin mo na lang na iniwan kita kasi di na kita mahal kaysa malaman mo yung totoo. Mas matatanggap ko kung magagalit ka sakin kaysa maawa ka.
So nagtago ako sayo. Itinago ako ng pamilya ko.
Kamakailan lang, nataningan na ko. Six months or less daw. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. Ngayon siguro, since nabigyan ako ng chance to be with you again kahit sandali lang, I'm more prepared to face what's going to happen to me. I guess hindi lahat ng tao nabibigyan ng happy ending. Dati bitter ako about that, pero ngayon ok na ko. I guess it's true that the prospect of death changes your view of certain things. Kung dati galit ako dahil kahit anong gawin hindi tayo para sa isa't isa, ngayon thankful ako kasi kahit sandali nakasama kita. Kahit sandali, nabigyan ako ng chance na mexperience ang love.
Last I heard, you're back with your family. That's good. I love you so much, J. I never stopped. You were my first love and you will be my last. I had so many good memories with you. My college life was the happiest time of my life because of you. I hope you live a good life and be happy for the rest of your days.
If we weren't meant to be together in this life, then I hope we can be together in the next life. Goodbye.

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balong

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Re: complicated love story
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2017, 05:41:31 PM »
The guy in the story is my brother. I showed it to him once I read it last December. He doesn't have a facebook account and he isn't really attuned to social media much so he wasn't able to see it for himself. I won't go into details regarding what happened after he saw the post but just know that we did everything in our power and exhausted every option to find ate. Awa naman ng universe, nahanap namin siya. It was a very bittersweet reunion. Of course a lot of things has changed since then but maybe this letter from my brother will convey our message much better. ""To The Diliman Files and its readers, ""Malaki siguro ang dapat kong ipagpasalamat sa Facebook page na ito for giving me the chance to reconnect with the best friend I've ever had and the woman I've loved all my life in a very special way. Marami sigurong nag-iisip na hindi ko siya minahal talaga dahil sa mga nangyari between us, but I can assure you, I loved her deeply. Sa mga nagtatanong rin kong posibleng magmahal ng dalawang tao at the same time, I can say, depende siguro sa tao, but in my case, yes. Yes, it is. I love my wife and son very much but I also love her so, so much. Her name is Mia and she deserves so to be recognized for being such a strong, brave and amazing woman. ""I'm a very private person. I don't usually expose my life to social media scrutiny but maybe this will express my gratitude better for helping me find Mia. This will be my penance too, for all the things I've done wrong in my life, for all the things I did to hurt you and for all the pain I've caused you. ""We had the perfect relationship. Our friends and parents always said that we were meant to be together. I know you've always wondered why I didn't go through with the wedding. I know you thought it was because I fell in love with another or because I didn't really love you in the first place but you'd be wrong. I loved you so much and I didn't go through with the wedding in large part because I was a coward. I was afraid that I only loved you because everyone told me that I should. It was a fool's thought, I admit. It retrospect, it was probably cold feet. I couldn't have been more stupid because when you left me, I died a little inside. I shouldn't have let you go. ""Eventually, I accepted that I made the biggest mistake of my life and moved on and got married. But then you came back and you were like a breath of fresh air. I decided then that I couldn't let you go again. Admittedly, it was another stupid thing for me to do because I already had a wife. I didn't want to make you into the other woman but damn it, I didn't care. I needed you so I followed you. ""I thought everything was going great while we were together in the States. But then we received news from my wife that we were expecting and things just went downhill from there. While I was mulling over the best course of action, you just suddenly left. Hindi man lang tayo nag-usap or nagkaintindihan man lang. Hindi mo man lang ako binigyan ng chance magpaalam. Akala mo yata wala lang sa akin lahat ng pinagsamahan natin. ""I knew something was wrong kahit na noong magkasama pa lang tayo dun but I didn't say anything kasi akala ko, you just needed time. Akala ko sasabihin mo rin sa'kin kung anong dinaramdam mo kasi I was still your best friend, right? Pero hindi yata ako dapat nag-banko masyado dun. Dapat yata pinilit kita. Pero alam kong mali ko rin naman. I knew I should've done better. I knew I should've showed you how much I really loved you, that I couldn't live without you. ""Tapos ngayon may sakit ka pala? Ano yun? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin? I get that you were trying to save me from the heartache, trying to prevent me from choosing between you and my wife and son. I knew our lives were complicated and it was largely my fault but you were my best friend first and foremost. I deserved to know what was going on. I realize that I hurt you so much, but the only way I can begin to make up for all the things I did was if you let me. I know I have no right to demand things from you. I know all these things but I can't help but be mad. I'm sorry Mia. You should've let me make the choice. I know I've not exactly been the best at making choices but I wanted to have that choice at least. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense to you. I don't really express myself properly most of the time. Madalas tayo mag-away regarding those things. If you're not sure about anything at all, just be sure of these things: one, I loved you. I loved you with all my heart. Maybe I didn't show it so much when we were together. Tanga lang ako na nagpaapekto sa mga bagay-bagay when I should have just focused on you. And two, I still love you in my own special way. You will always be my first love. You will always hold a special place in my heart. If you don't ever want to see me again, I will understand. But I just want to see you one more time. You said that you've accepted your fate, but I haven't. I can't. If nothing else, just give me this one last chance to say goodbye."" Ate Mia passed away last February 12. She and my kuya talked for the last time last February 10. They have a very complicated relationship. Maraming taong nasaktan at nadamay pero sana hindi sila mahusgahan. They did their best to cope in an impossible situation. Lesson learned na rin siguro para sa iba.

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