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Author Topic: Mangatawa Usa Ta.  (Read 84048 times)

Glen

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #400 on: February 20, 2008, 02:22:52 PM »
Swetsirt- Kuhaon ko ang mga bitoon og ihatag ko kanimo.

Lab- Saba diha swetsirt waman gani ka kakuha anang imong gugmo nga gatambisay sa imong ilong.

Swetsirt- Aw sorry Lab ha...wala man god ko masayud nga gusto sad ka ani.

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #401 on: February 20, 2008, 02:41:15 PM »
Tetsir: Paul 1+3
Paul: 4 mam
Tetsir: very good
Ikaw Barbaro 33x69
Barbaro: Mao na ni kun lisod na gani ako dajun pangutan-on
pavor pavor absini nalang ko oy!

sus boanga.. maayo nalang kay mitungha koron.. dili unta ko kabasa ani..heheheh

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Barbaro

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #402 on: February 21, 2008, 03:16:46 AM »
GIRLS reaction to Sizes:

9in: “oh s*** ang sakit!”

7in: “Yes ang sarap!”

6in: “Oh perpek!”

5in: “mm…ok!”

4in: “diin mo pa!”

3in: “Pasok naba!”

2in: “kala ko dila, BWISIT!”

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Lorenzo

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #403 on: February 21, 2008, 03:51:01 AM »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

omg, i died on that one. :D :D


Barbs, mao na ang motto, "it don't count till you got the girth."


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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #404 on: February 21, 2008, 04:27:29 AM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #405 on: February 21, 2008, 06:07:23 AM »
GIRLS reaction to Sizes:

9in: “oh s*** ang sakit!”

7in: “Yes ang sarap!”

6in: “Oh perpek!”

5in: “mm…ok!”

4in: “diin mo pa!”

3in: “Pasok naba!”

2in: “kala ko dila, BWISIT!”

Help!

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lindy

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #406 on: February 21, 2008, 12:05:04 PM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

hahahahahahahaha....

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mawjood

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #407 on: February 21, 2008, 04:52:00 PM »
Hay salamat kay nakaabot na gyud ko sa tumoy aning mga jokes, perti tawn nakong balik ug subay kay lisod ning mabiyaan ta, maayong adlaw ninjo tanan, modayon na pod ko utro dinhi ha!

LOVE CODE
Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahilig siyang sumulat ng coded love
messages tulad ng:
ITALY - I truly adore and love you
SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are
Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan , sinikap niyang
gumawa ng "love letter" na gamit ang  alphabet:
ABC - Always be careful
DEF - Don't Ever forget
GHI - Go Home Immediately
JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me
NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should
Treat U Very Well
Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and
natitira...XYZ.
Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras,
napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago
sinulat ang:
XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!




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svetlana

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #408 on: February 21, 2008, 04:55:59 PM »
Hahahahaha

Xee you soon!!!!  ;D

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #409 on: February 21, 2008, 04:56:05 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."






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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #410 on: February 22, 2008, 12:12:18 AM »
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mawjood

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #411 on: February 22, 2008, 10:51:16 AM »
One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.
Erap : Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.
Ramos : Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.
Erap : Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.
Ramos : Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.
Erap: Oo.
Ramos ; Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng naka-bathing suit.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babaeng naka-bathing suit, >eh >>di >> > >lalakeng - lalaki ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.
Erap : Oo.
Ramos : Kita mo na, ganyan lang ang logic!
Erap : Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!
The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate. . .
Erap : Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.
Maceda : Sige nga!
Erap : May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?
Maceda : Wala.
Erap : Bakla ka pala

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willmerit

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #412 on: February 22, 2008, 10:25:43 PM »
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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #413 on: February 23, 2008, 02:32:45 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D mawjood................are you a fan of Erap? Haskang lokoha aw logikka diay to siya? hahahahahaha

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Reply: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #414 on: February 23, 2008, 07:24:30 AM »
Hahaha mawjood, xee you zoon ;D

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david

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #415 on: February 27, 2008, 03:43:36 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #416 on: February 27, 2008, 04:01:07 PM »
ay eh kinsa man ni oi. padak e ky d makita ang kaguapo nimo mr beam.

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Scarb

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #417 on: February 27, 2008, 06:29:26 PM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!

hahahahahahahaha....

hahahaha kinsay itom?

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mawjood

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #418 on: February 28, 2008, 01:47:02 PM »
;D ;D ;D mawjood................are you a fan of Erap? Haskang lokoha aw logikka diay to siya? hahahahahaha

Way laing sumsuman ug istorya sa opisina kung mag coffee break, si erap madali-dali, o nia pay lain:

Beast of Burden
Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
ERAP: How about another Carabao?

Testing
As Erap's Driver test drive the vehicle,
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light (as driver  switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw.......


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #419 on: March 01, 2008, 01:29:46 AM »
...A frog went inside Malacanang Palace..It deeply disturbed GMA because
when the frog croaked it said.....
"Korap! Korap! Korap!

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #420 on: March 01, 2008, 05:55:08 PM »
American: We went thru a terrible crises because of 9/11. How
about you Filipinos?
Filipino: Oh, we have our 4'11 and we are still experiencing
the worst.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #421 on: March 01, 2008, 08:10:26 PM »
hahhahah looya pod ni erap ug ni gloria. 

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #422 on: March 02, 2008, 11:04:46 PM »
Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- -PREGNANCY
TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ipinasasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #423 on: March 02, 2008, 11:08:09 PM »
Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- -PREGNANCY
TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ipinasasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

hahahahhaha korek!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #424 on: March 03, 2008, 11:02:59 PM »
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #425 on: March 04, 2008, 02:44:36 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #426 on: March 04, 2008, 12:20:42 PM »
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

hahahahahaha amew!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #427 on: March 04, 2008, 12:38:51 PM »
Sharon: Sweetheart bakit puyat na puyat ka ngaun?
Gabby: Paano sweet di ako makatulog dahil siningil ako ni paring William sa utang natin!
Sharon: Ganito ang gagawin mo sweet, sabihin mo kay paring William na wala tayong pambayad para sya naman ang di makatulog!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #428 on: March 04, 2008, 12:46:04 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #429 on: March 04, 2008, 02:53:29 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #430 on: March 04, 2008, 03:38:59 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

kita sinumbagay

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #431 on: March 04, 2008, 03:40:14 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

kita sinumbagay

Kuyawa god nimo utangan Kuya Lindy mo abot man gyod sa sinumbagay. Agoy kasakit og walay ikabayad.Hahahaa

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #432 on: March 04, 2008, 05:22:24 PM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

Mao nay problema nato mga Pilipino humok ug kasingkasing, makalimot dayon, hinaut unta nga mabag-o na ni nga kinaiya.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #433 on: March 04, 2008, 05:27:13 PM »
hahahaha...... utang lipay..bayad likay :)

Pwede pod "utang lipay, bayad dugay, dayon tingil suko-suko kay gusto libre diay"

kita sinumbagay
;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #434 on: March 04, 2008, 07:00:10 PM »
Ate: Inday, chinese pasko ah, sinosino ba ikaw bati?
Inday: Ay ati benate ku napu c koya nabate ku na din pu driver
naten. Si sir, babatehen ku uli mamayang gabe.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #435 on: March 05, 2008, 07:27:20 AM »
Sharon: Sweetheart bakit puyat na puyat ka ngaun?
Gabby: Paano sweet di ako makatulog dahil siningil ako ni paring William sa utang natin!
Sharon: Ganito ang gagawin mo sweet, sabihin mo kay paring William na wala tayong pambayad para sya naman ang di makatulog!

Mao ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #436 on: March 06, 2008, 08:02:23 PM »
Buyer: Magkano kambing?
Muslim: Isang libo.
Buyer: Ha? mahal naman! 800 nalang.
Muslim: Di pwede, sabi ASAWA ko wag benta pag di libo.
Buyer: Ganon?! Kalahati libo?
Muslim: Yan! Pwede na.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #437 on: March 09, 2008, 04:03:06 AM »
Buyer: Magkano kambing?
Muslim: Isang libo.
Buyer: Ha? mahal naman! 800 nalang.
Muslim: Di pwede, sabi ASAWA ko wag benta pag di libo.
Buyer: Ganon?! Kalahati libo?
Muslim: Yan! Pwede na.

agoy yataps japon ni Asawa hahaha
katunga na lang jud hinoon ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #438 on: March 09, 2008, 06:18:10 AM »
"Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum," kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang
presidente.
"Ah ako, Enfalac, 'yun ang mahal, eh," sagot ni Cory.
"Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino," sabi ni Ramos.
"Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?" tanong ng tatlo.
"Ano yata Lactacyd."

Have you heard of rumors that Erap will run as president in 2010?

How come he is being set free by our President?

Mao nay problema nato mga Pilipino humok ug kasingkasing, makalimot dayon, hinaut unta nga mabag-o na ni nga kinaiya.
mao jud!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #439 on: March 09, 2008, 12:43:11 PM »
Use DEDICATE in a sentence....
Pag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...
How about CONTINUE....
Kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....
Idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET....
Naholdap yung cellphone ko, di bale I'll VIOLET.....
eto pa..OPINION. ...
Papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION....
Eh ang CONCLUSION.. ..
Syempre, di ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan CONCLUSION..  

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #440 on: March 22, 2008, 04:03:32 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #441 on: March 22, 2008, 06:31:00 AM »
Use DEDICATE in a sentence....
Pag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...
How about CONTINUE....
Kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....
Idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET....
Naholdap yung cellphone ko, di bale I'll VIOLET.....
eto pa..OPINION. ...
Papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION....
Eh ang CONCLUSION.. ..
Syempre, di ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan CONCLUSION..  



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #442 on: April 01, 2008, 12:02:03 PM »
Hahihiya kc Baboy

Matet: Ate Guy bakit kaya ang biik nakayuko
           pag naglalakad?
Ate Guy:Kc naman Matet nahihiya sya na ang
           nanay nya ay baboy!
         


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #443 on: April 01, 2008, 10:08:04 PM »
binata na si boy, at nanliligaw sya kay nene...isang gabi, naiwan si boy at si neneng nag-iisa sa bahay...
boy bastos: sige na nene, pagbigyan mo na ako.
nene: boy wag ayoko...
boy bastos: sige na...biglang nagbrownout...
boy bastos: o ipapasok ko na ha?
nene: wag boy ang sakit! aaaaaaaa!sumindi uli ang ilaw. dugu-dugo ang ilong ni nene.

 

 


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #444 on: April 03, 2008, 02:05:17 PM »
Ahente sa ELECTROLUX.. toktok balay, nisulod dayon ug gisabwag sa salog ang tae sa kabayo!
"Mrs, kun di ni malimpyo sa akong vacuum cleaner kining tae, ako ni kan-on!"
Mrs: Hala , Kan -a jud na kay brownout raba!


huh! labi jud ko nakatawa ani... sakit na akong ampapangig!... wahaha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #445 on: April 03, 2008, 02:07:55 PM »
Empleyado : Boss, namatay diay atong manager, pwede ba ako nalang
mopuli sa iyang pwesto ?
Boss : Pwde man, pero ambot kaha ug mosugot ang funeraria .


na unsaon na lang! hahaha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #446 on: April 03, 2008, 02:28:58 PM »
Nag dali dali ug impake si Kulas sa iyang mga gamit kay hapit na ang iyang flight pauli sa ila.
Sa dihang mulakaway na siya nakalimot diay siya nga nipalit diay siyag Itoy para tinabuan sa iyang anak.
Wa namay panahon pag lukat ug papeles.
Iya nalang Gisoksok sa Pundiyo ang Itoy aron makasay dayon sa Eroplano.

30 Minutos gikan sa ilang pag lupad,nahibuong ang Estewardess nga naay pasahero nga husahay mo kisikisi.

Estewardess:Are you okay Sir?

Kulas:Okay ra Day.

Pakataudtaud,nakit-an sa Estewardess nga di giud mahimutang si Kulas,mukirig kadyot unya naa pay pakapin nga agoo.
Giduol na sad siya sa Estewardess.

Estewardess:Sigurado nga okay raka Sir?

Kulas:O Day.pero mutug-an nalang ko nimo sa tinuod.
Wa naman gud koy oras pag lukat ug papeles para sa akong bag-ong pinalit nga Itoy,maong ako nalang siyang gisoksok sa atubangan sa akong pantalon.

Estewardess:Unya,unsa may problema,nag sige bag hilak ang Itoy?




Kulas: Dili na maoy problema Day,"ANG PROBLEMA WA PA DIAY MALUTAS NING ITOYA!"

labi labi na jud nakung kinatawa.. huh! mura na kog bu**** ari... gakatawa ako ra usa!


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #447 on: April 03, 2008, 02:58:34 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #448 on: April 03, 2008, 03:21:04 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #449 on: April 03, 2008, 03:42:58 PM »
First day of work ni Huling as secretary sa office ni Atty. Bukdoy

Dihay mi abot nga ambongang laki.

"Wait sa sir ha." dayon punit c Huling sa telepono. Pa cute cute dayon ang baje, pa as if nga naay gika-istorya...

Hulat lang tawn ang laki, hilom nga naglingkod.

Pagkataod-taod, gibutang ni Huling ang phone. Lami kaayog smile.

"What can I do for you sir?"

"Ah, wala mam. Taoran lang unta nkug linya inyong telepono!"


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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #450 on: April 12, 2008, 09:17:02 PM »
One liquor shot reduces life by 5 minutes,
but sex increases life by 10 minutes.
So, the basic sense of that statement is…
“Kahit lasenggero, basta mahalay, matagal
mamatay.”

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #451 on: April 14, 2008, 09:20:29 PM »
hahahahahha, naa pay daghang jokes dinha barbs?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #452 on: April 15, 2008, 09:08:32 PM »
Memorable na ha, ;D,guess why?

 ;D

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa museum, lumapit ang babae sabi.
Lady: Naku sir more than 500 years old na po yang vase na yan,

erap: Hay salamat kala ko bago!!!

ngek ngek ngek!!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #453 on: April 17, 2008, 02:55:02 PM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #454 on: April 17, 2008, 04:56:47 PM »
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA galuhaluha na ko. winkwink.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #455 on: April 17, 2008, 08:19:45 PM »
Ate: Inday, chinese pasko ah, sinosino ba ikaw bati?
Inday: Ay ati benate ku napu c koya nabate ku na din pu driver
naten. Si sir, babatehen ku uli mamayang gabe.
Use DEDICATE in a sentence....
Pag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...
How about CONTINUE....
Kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....
Idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET....
Naholdap yung cellphone ko, di bale I'll VIOLET.....
eto pa..OPINION. ...
Papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION....
Eh ang CONCLUSION.. ..
Syempre, di ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan CONCLUSION..  

;D ;D ;D

Teacher: Juan, use "epoch" in a sentence.
Juan: My lolo is wearing his epoch.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #456 on: May 09, 2008, 01:18:54 AM »
Juanito: Ang gulo ng buhay talaga!
Paeng: May gugulo pa ba sa buhay ko? Tignan mo, yung
pinakasalan ko byudang may dalagitang anak, pinakasalan
naman ni Itay yung dalagita. Edi lumalabas na Nanay ko sya
ngayon at si Itay anak ko. Ang asawa ko naman ay byenan
ni Itay. Nang magkaanak sila, ako ngayon ang Lolo ng
kapatid ko! Ang gulo di ba ?

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #457 on: May 09, 2008, 01:20:43 AM »

Lex, naka panihapon naka? samot kalabad akong ulo nimo oi.



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #458 on: May 09, 2008, 01:24:47 AM »
pawala gani na sa akit ng ulo.. dipa lang nalooy nimo dili nako mag joks..

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #459 on: May 09, 2008, 06:09:41 AM »
First day of work ni Huling as secretary sa office ni Atty. Bukdoy

Dihay mi abot nga ambongang laki.

"Wait sa sir ha." dayon punit c Huling sa telepono. Pa cute cute dayon ang baje, pa as if nga naay gika-istorya...

Hulat lang tawn ang laki, hilom nga naglingkod.

Pagkataod-taod, gibutang ni Huling ang phone. Lami kaayog smile.

"What can I do for you sir?"

"Ah, wala mam. Taoran lang unta nkug linya inyong telepono!"


Hahaha kauwaw adto ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #460 on: May 09, 2008, 06:11:38 AM »
Juanito: Ang gulo ng buhay talaga!
Paeng: May gugulo pa ba sa buhay ko? Tignan mo, yung
pinakasalan ko byudang may dalagitang anak, pinakasalan
naman ni Itay yung dalagita. Edi lumalabas na Nanay ko sya
ngayon at si Itay anak ko. Ang asawa ko naman ay byenan
ni Itay. Nang magkaanak sila, ako ngayon ang Lolo ng
kapatid ko! Ang gulo di ba ?

Ayaw nalang kwentaha Eng aron dika maglibog kay galibog mig apil nimo ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #461 on: May 09, 2008, 06:30:20 AM »
Saria : Dolfo maghiwalay na tayo kc babaero ka!
Dolfo : Oo sigi sa akin yung tatlong anak nating lalaki syo
          yung nag iisang babae.
Saria : Ay nako! pinili mo pa yung hindi syo...

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #462 on: May 10, 2008, 03:15:05 AM »
Hahaha nanghingan pang labaw diay ;D

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #463 on: June 09, 2008, 02:35:35 AM »
asukar

tatay; pedro, asa man nimo gibutang
ang asukar?
pedro; naa sa banggera akong
gimarkahan ug asin
tatay; nganong man imo gibutangan?
pedro; para di katoud ang AMIGAS...

Amaw!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #464 on: June 09, 2008, 07:20:44 AM »
asukar

tatay; pedro, asa man nimo gibutang
ang asukar?
pedro; naa sa banggera akong
gimarkahan ug asin
tatay; nganong man imo gibutangan?
pedro; para di katoud ang AMIGAS...

Amaw!



wahahaha



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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #465 on: June 09, 2008, 07:28:20 AM »
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna.
Ikaw mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.




Patya si Pedroooo! kay bakakon!!!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #466 on: June 09, 2008, 07:32:48 AM »
BANA: day,murag naay tawo sa silong
ASAWA: naoga!
BANA: dili ko uy! basin naa nay dala pusil!
ASAWA: talawan! putig itlog!!!
BANA: ikaw naug didto kay itom kag b****!!!



paita oi! bwahahahha

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #467 on: June 09, 2008, 08:03:35 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #468 on: June 09, 2008, 08:06:19 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #469 on: June 09, 2008, 08:51:10 AM »
Oy naghinoktok man lagi ka Gelyan,kinsay imong gihunahuna ha?paapila pod ko,hahaha.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #470 on: June 10, 2008, 12:52:40 AM »
Saria : Dolfo maghiwalay na tayo kc babaero ka!
Dolfo : Oo sigi sa akin yung tatlong anak nating lalaki syo
          yung nag iisang babae.
Saria : Ay nako! pinili mo pa yung hindi syo...

whahahaha haskang malasa gjod ni Dolfy oi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #471 on: June 10, 2008, 12:58:28 AM »
bana gabagulbol;
way ayo ning kinabuhia!!!
ang taro way bugas!!!
ang bata way gatas!!!
ang lamparilya way gas!!!
ang tubig way agas!!!
pun-an pa sa asawang way hugas..........
paetzzzz

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #472 on: June 10, 2008, 01:49:13 AM »
 ;D ;D whahahhaha Poor husband!  pfui!.....grabeha pod, nang.ngalisbo diay mr. bean? :-\

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #473 on: June 10, 2008, 05:15:42 AM »
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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #474 on: July 01, 2008, 01:10:18 PM »
bana gabagulbol;
way ayo ning kinabuhia!!!
ang taro way bugas!!!
ang bata way gatas!!!
ang lamparilya way gas!!!
ang tubig way agas!!!
pun-an pa sa asawang way hugas..........
paetzzzz

Hahahhaha nakahinumdom kos kanta nga nagbakho naghilak.

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #475 on: July 01, 2008, 01:12:35 PM »
bana gabagulbol;
way ayo ning kinabuhia!!!
ang taro way bugas!!!
ang bata way gatas!!!
ang lamparilya way gas!!!
ang tubig way agas!!!
pun-an pa sa asawang way hugas..........
paetzzzz

hahahaha.. mr. bean jud!

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #476 on: July 01, 2008, 08:50:18 PM »
bana gabagulbol;
way ayo ning kinabuhia!!!
ang taro way bugas!!!
ang bata way gatas!!!
ang lamparilya way gas!!!
ang tubig way agas!!!
pun-an pa sa asawang way hugas..........
paetzzzz

Hahahhahaha ka brutal na jod kaajo.

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #477 on: July 29, 2008, 10:46:34 PM »
bana: love, kining akong sapi sa america ako ning tigumon para sa imong pag anak kay sesarian man kaha ka?

asawa: 0o love.

pag anak sa asawa mi abot na ang bana, ang ilang anak kuyaw kaayo kay
kung unsa isulti nga ngalan mamatay.

bata: lolo ( patay ang lolo )

bata: lola (patay ang lola )

bana: sus kakuyaw na ani oi basin ako nay sunod isulti sa bata ani hu hu hu hu patay gyod ko ani aron.

bata: papa!! papa!! ( natingala sya kay nagkagutbot ang silingan kay naay namatay)...

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Bambi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #478 on: July 30, 2008, 06:30:22 AM »
 ;D ;D whahaha.....gibutang  man diay ni Mr. Kokok.

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Moyhua

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #479 on: July 30, 2008, 07:08:09 AM »
Famous Lines:

"Pinapaikot mo lang ako.
Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti
pang patayin mo na lang
ako."
 
-electric fan
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi lahat ng walang
salawal ay bastos"
 
-winnie d' pooh
 
------------------------
 
"Alam mo ba wala akong
ibang hinangad kundi ang
mapalapit saio. Pero
patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"
 
-ipis
 
------------------------
 
"Hala! Sige magpakasasa
ka! Alam ko namang katawan
ko lang ang habol mo."
 
-hipon
 
------------------------
 
"Ayoko na! Pag nagmamahal
ako lagi na lang maraming
tao ang nagagalit! Wala
ba akong karapatang
magmahal?!?"
 
-gasolina
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi lahat ng green
ay masustansya."
 
-plema
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi ko hinahangad na
ipagmalaki mo na ako'y
sau. Ayoko ko lang naman
na sa harap ng maraming
tao ganun mo na lang ako
itanggi.."
 
-utot
 
------------------------
 
"Sawang sawa na ako
palagi nalang akong
pinagpapasa-pasahan,
pagod na pagod na ako."
 
-bola
 
------------------------
 
"You never know what you
have till you lose it.
And once you lose it, you
can never get it back"
 
-snatcher
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi lahat ng pink,
KIKAY!"
 
-majinboo (kalaban sa Dragonball nakapink eh)
 
------------------------
 
"Ginawa ko naman lahat
para sumaya ka. Mahirap ba
talagang makontento sa isa?
Bakit palipat-lipat ka?"
 
-TV
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi lahat ng maasim
may vitamin c"
 
-kili kili
 
------------------------
 
Pilitin mo man na alisin
ako sa buhay mo, babalik
at babalik ako!
 
-libag
 
------------------------
 
"Wag mo na akong bilugin.."
 
-kulangot
 
------------------------
 
"Paano tayo makakabuo kung
hindi ako papatong sa iyo?"
 
-lego
 
------------------------
 
"Hindi lahat ng bumabagsak
nagsu-summer"
 
-Erik Morales

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Bambi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #480 on: July 30, 2008, 06:56:21 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D i enjoyed reading all these jokes thanks Ms. Angie G.

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Moyhua

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #481 on: July 31, 2008, 10:05:51 AM »
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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #482 on: August 02, 2008, 01:15:37 AM »
pangalan ng anak
may tatlong magkakaibigan at naguusap sila sa kung sakaling magkakaanak sila ano ang ipapapangalan sa mga anak
nilang lalaki kung sakali.


Noel: ang gusto ko Leon ang magiging pangalan nang anak ko kabaliktaran nang Noel

Nino: sa akin naman ay Onin baliktad din nang name ko.

Toto: Mga gago pala kayo eh wag nyo nga ko masali sali sa usapang nyan .. 


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ms da binsi

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #483 on: August 02, 2008, 03:58:45 AM »
bana: love, kining akong sapi sa america ako ning tigumon para sa imong pag anak kay sesarian man kaha ka?

asawa: 0o love.

pag anak sa asawa mi abot na ang bana, ang ilang anak kuyaw kaayo kay
kung unsa isulti nga ngalan mamatay.

bata: lolo ( patay ang lolo )

bata: lola (patay ang lola )

bana: sus kakuyaw na ani oi basin ako nay sunod isulti sa bata ani hu hu hu hu patay gyod ko ani aron.

bata: papa!! papa!! ( natingala sya kay nagkagutbot ang silingan kay naay namatay)...




gi ahok sa silingan si misis?? hahahhaha

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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #484 on: August 08, 2008, 12:34:41 AM »
Isolated Camp
Isang U.S. Major ang na-stationed sa isolated na Kampo sa Iraq. Kinabukasan, habang may ispection, napansin ng Major ang isang camel na nakatali sa likuran ng Barracks. Nagtanong siya sa Sergeant kung bakit may alagang camel sa Kampo.

SGT: Major, dito sa kampo, masyadong malayo ang bayan kaya't kung sinuman ang gustong makatikim ng ligaya, nandito naman ang camel.

Major: Bawal mag alaga ng hayop dito sa Kampo pero kung para sa 'morale' ng mga Troops, it's okey with me.

Makalipas ang anim na buwan, hindi na makatiis ang Major kaya't tinawag ang Sarhento.

Major: Dalhin mo dito sa tent ang camel. Walang nagawa ang Sarhento kaya't dinala ang camel sa loob ng tent. Makalipas ang 15 minutes, lumabas ang Major na nakangiti.

Major: Sergeant, ganito ba ang ginagawa ng mga Troops pag nalulungkot sila?

Sergeant: Hindi po Sir, sinasakyan nila ang camel papunta sa bayan para makahanap ng mga babae!   


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Barbaro

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #485 on: August 02, 2009, 01:03:23 AM »
Sa panahon ngaun, bihira na ang may matalik na kaibigan.
mas mdalas ay may katalik na kaibigan.

oppsss no connection sa scandal ha
just for fun...

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mistyeyed

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Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
« Reply #486 on: August 02, 2009, 04:24:31 PM »
Sa panahon ngaun, bihira na ang may matalik na kaibigan.
mas mdalas ay may katalik na kaibigan.

oppsss no connection sa scandal ha
just for fun...


 ;D ;D ;D



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