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    JUDGE: “Miss, mahimo ba imong ihulagway sa Corte and galugos nimo?”
      DALAGA: “Lagum, bugason, bakang, pislat, pangag, budlat, kagiron ug potot.”
      SUSPEK: “Sigeeee … panaway pa gyud !!!”

      JUAN: “Padz, daghan lagi sinina diri sa hayhayan luyo sa convento - bra, panty, blouse?”
      PARI: “Sus, Brod. Dili ta mabuhi ug mag salig lang ta sa collection. Ma-o nga dawat na lang   
      sad ko panagsa ug labada!”

      SUNOG SULOD SA SINEHAN:
      SIKYO: “Mam … Mam, diri agi!”
      BOL-ANON: “Ajaw ko pagbot-i ha. Dili ko tanga!”
      SIKYO: “Ari lagi agi sa FIRE EXIT!”
      BOL-ANON: “Patjon ko nimo. Anha diha gawas ang kalajo!”

      HOST: “Miss Philippines , more or less, what is your country’s polulation?”
      MP: “More!”
      H: “Miss, I’m afraid you did not get my question.”
      MP: “Of course, I am not afraid!”


    * What’s the difference between -
      STRENGTH: hanging a wet towel on your hard cock;
      STAMINA: hanging the same towel on your hard cock and wait until it DRIES!

      PROSTITUTE offers sex to a BOMBAY :
      B: “I pay double but we do it Indian Style.”
      P: “Sure, no problem!”
      (Two hours later)
      P: “So, what’s your style?”
      B: “60 days to pay … 4 gives!”

      Gihubo-an sa asawa sa t-shirt, then sa karsones ang iyang bana.She kissed him and then whispered -
      A: “Make me feel like a real wife.”
      B: (He smiled, took off his brief.) “Sige, labhi ni ha, nya inig kahuman, pag lung-ag dayon!”

      ANAK: “‘ Tay , unsa’y Eninglish sa KAHOY?”
      TATAY: “Kasayon ana uy, di WOOD!”
      ANAK: “Ingon si Ma’m, TREE kuno.”
      TATAY: “Aw, kun TULO ka buok!”

      JUDGE: “Misis, sa imong bana-bana, mga pila kaha ka metros and gilay-on sa imong
     gipungko-an nga nahitabo ang krimen?”
      WITNESS: “Senyor Juez sad uy. Naa ba gud malibang mag dala ug metrosan?”


    * ANAK: ‘Nay, taga-i ko P25 beh, palit ko tambal.”
      NANAY: “Unsa-on man nimo?”
      ANAK: ” Para pa daku man kuno sa o****.”
      NANAY: “Di-ay P50, pa-apila ug inom imong Tatay!”

      NURSE: “Mrs., ayaw ka la-in ha. Ka gamay sad sa o**** sa imong bana uy. Malipay ka ana?”
      ASAWA: “Si Ma’m baya. Mo gilok man gani nang KIGWA, kana pa kaha murang BITOK!”

      BANA: “‘Day, kung duna gani mahitabo naku after my operation, ayaw baya gyud pasagdi 
      atong mga anak ha? Love you!”
      ASAWA: “Hilum diha, pagka OA gyud nimo. Wa’y namatay sa tuli uy, PISOTA ka!”


      To prevent unwanted pregnancy, use I.U.D. Recommended by doctors, tested by women. Do
      not forget. It’s so easy to remember:
      I.U.D. (I.ning U.tog D.agan)

      ASAWA: “Dear, hubo-a akong panty.”
      BANA: “O… ako nang gi hubo.”
      ASAWA: “Hubo-a akong bra.”
      BANA: “O,.. akong na sad nga gi hubo.”
      ASAWA: ” Sa sunod, ayaw na isul-ob akong mga gamit ha, bayota ka!”

      NANAY: “‘Nak, ingna si Tatay nimo magpa hilot ko.
      ANAK NGA BUNGOL: ‘ Tay , ingon si Nanay mag i*** kuno mo.”
      TATAY: “Ingna siya inig dayon katulog na lang.”
      ANAK: “‘Nay, ingon si Tatay inig OTOG na lang kuno.”

      BF: Love, sige na beh!
      GF: Unsa’y sige na?
      GF: Mag kuan ta bah!
      GF: Dili ko … kapoy!
      BF: Dali ra bitaw, ako lang isulod bisan 3 minutes lang gud.
      GF: Amaw … unsa’y pagtu-o nimo sa ako-a, MICROWAVE?

      JUAN: Doc, inom ko Viagra gahapon sa buntag, hangtud karon, ga sige pa man ug otog akong o****.
      DOC: Nah, next month pa na mo humok!
      JUAN: Hah … ngano man?
      DOC: Tan-awa expiration date, MAY pa!

      DOC: Mrs., matud pa sa ultrasound, dili ka mabdos. Puro hangin ra ang sulod sa imong tiyan.
      PASYENTE: Uy, Doc, unsa’y pagtu-o nimo sa o**** sa akong bana, COMPRESSOR?

     


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 DOC: Mrs., matud pa sa ultrasound, dili ka mabdos. Puro hangin ra ang sulod sa imong tiyan.
      PASYENTE: Uy, Doc, unsa’y pagtu-o nimo sa o**** sa akong bana, COMPRESSOR?


bwahahahhha!

basi wa na diay sulod mao nga hangin nalang!



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     ASAWA: “Dear, hubo-a akong panty.”
      BANA: “O… ako nang gi hubo.”
      ASAWA: “Hubo-a akong bra.”
      BANA: “O,.. akong na sad nga gi hubo.”
      ASAWA: ” Sa sunod, ayaw na isul-ob akong mga gamit ha, bayota ka!”

mao ni akong kamut an ug duro...  kini lagi hilabtanun ta sa bra sa atung asawa..

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HAHAHAHAHHAHA nagluha luha koy katawa ani, nalingaw ko thank s naa pay lain?

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thanks for the jokes Ms. aleyssa
i feel relaxed after having a good laughed.....tired from work
The best is the differentiation between STRENGTH  AND STAMINA  i don't need dryer anymore!


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Unsay English sa cat?
Mitubag si Dodong," cat"
"nganong cat man ang english sa iring Ma.?"
Mituba si Mama, "kay mocatcat man sa bongbong"
"Nganong dog man ang English sa iro, Ma?"
"Kay mo dog man ang mga itoy sa inahan."
" Bright diay ka ma"
"Ikaw  bright pod ka Dong?"
" O, kay liwat man ka".

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Pareha ra man ni  sa Joke joke.

Unsay may eningles sa saging ma.
Mitubag ang inahan," cardaba"
Mitubag ang bata, " dili uy ingon ni Mam.
Unsa man?
"Banana" tubag sa bata
Ang tinuod Dong ang banana kanang hinog nga saging.
Ha. ha.ha

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kalusot pod si Mama!

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JUAN: “Padz, daghan lagi sinina diri sa hayhayan luyo sa convento - bra, panty, blouse?”
PARI: “Sus, Brod. Dili ta mabuhi ug mag salig lang ta sa collection. Ma-o nga dawat na lang sad ko panagsa ug labada!”


This is nice. hehhhhee!

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medyo green joke na sad ha?

ang usa ka asawa ing uli nga luhaan, pagkahuman sa iyang kasal.

Ingun siya sa iyang mama.

Anak:Ma, makigbuwag na ko sa akong bana!!
Mama: Ngano man day?
Anak:Murag botilya kadak-a ang sa akong bana
Mama: Malipay unta ka anak. Daghang mga babae nangita ug dako.
Anak: Maayo untag botilya sa coke, botilya man sa white flower!!!

hahahahahah

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HAAHHAHA kataw-anan, tinood jud Msd. makawaa sa kalaay ug kagool pod. Hala sigi pa mo tampo tigbasa ug tigkatawa lang ko ha.

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whahaha    ikomparar di-ay ni "VICTOR WOOD" nga Mr. Victor Kahoy kuno sa didto pas ato, kay ning abroad sa America di gi translate na lang ang apelyido aron stateside ang labas

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pastilan inday ayessa.....maajo  lang ug morag white flower bottle lang.....unja uroy ug wa na poy sulod? ningsamot ka pobre is Ondoy whahahha

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Segi mangatawa ta ,   ha. ha ha,  he, he  he........

Laughter Therapy: What Happens When We Laugh?
We change physiologically when we laugh. We stretch muscles throughout our face and body, our pulse and blood pressure go up, and we breathe faster, sending more oxygen to our tissues.

People who believe in the benefits of laughter say it can be like a mild workout -- and may offer some of the same advantages as a workout.

"The effects of laughter and exercise are very similar," says Wilson. "Combining laughter and movement, like waving your arms, is a great way to boost your heart rate."

One pioneer in laughter research, William Fry, claimed it took ten minutes on a rowing machine for his heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minute of hearty laughter.

And laughter appears to burn calories, too. Maciej Buchowski, a researcher from Vanderbilt University, conducted a small study in which he measured the amount of calories expended in laughing. It turned out that 10-15 minutes of laughter burned 50 calories.

While the results are intriguing, don't be too hasty in ditching that treadmill. One piece of chocolate has about 50 calories; at the rate of 50 calories per hour, losing one pound would require about 12 hours of concentrated laughter!

Laughter's Effects on the Body
In the last few decades, researchers have studied laughter's effects on the body and turned up some potentially interesting information on how it affects us:

Blood flow. Researchers at the University of Maryland studied the effects on blood vessels when people were shown either comedies or dramas. After the screening, the blood vessels of the group who watched the comedy behaved normally -- expanding and contracting easily. But the blood vessels in people who watched the drama tended to tense up, restricting blood flow.


Immune response. Increased stress is associated with decreased immune system response, says Provine. Some studies have shown that the ability to use humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies in the body and boost the levels of immune cells, as well.


Blood sugar levels. One study of 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. After eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. On the next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After the comedy, the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after the lecture.


Relaxation and sleep. The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies, like Marx Brothers films and episodes of Candid Camera, helped him feel better. He said that ten minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep.

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Thanks for sharing this Lex! it is very true!!! mura jud ko ug ma high ug maka katawa ko!

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bwahahahhaahhaa!

Gelyan makasab-an jud ko diri ni banana kay dako akong baba!

ikaw jud akong pasanginlan!

ps pwerte baja tawon jud nang inita!!

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What ah! This is a nice ice breaker.... 

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