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Nganong natuk-an man ka Dave? ahahahahha! murag naagian tingali nimo ni noh?

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palit sad ka siopao mis da bins?

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Taga Guindulman ni-adto sa SSS regional office sa Cebu para sa iyang pension:

Ondoy ... :  Day, gikan nako sa SSS.  Gipakita ko lang akong puti na buhok ug approve na dayon ako pension.

Inday.....:   Doy, gipakita unta pud nimo imong lagay (ot*n) para tagaan ka ug disability benefit.        




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Bwahahaha! Unsa na lang kaha kon nahitabo pa ni sa 1960s nga negotiable pa ang tag-diyot (half-centavo) ug tag-daku (one centavo)? Maabta'g siyam-siyam!

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1.)  A dentist was caught raping a female patient.
        Next day's newspaper headline read:  "Dentist Caught Filling Wrong Cavity!!!"

2.)  A soldier died;  wife is crying during burial when flag is given to her:
        "Aanhin ko pa ang watawat na 'to kung wala na ang flagpole?!"

3.)  Stanley Ho:  "Mam, I'm giving you a Ferrari."
        GMA:  "I don't take bribes!"
        Stanley Ho:  "I will then sell it to you for only P200."
        GMA:  "In that case, I'll buy two!"

4.)  Question:  How can you tell if ang batang bumbay has turned into an adult?
        Answer:  When he starts wearing his diaper around his head.

5.)  Makabagong katotohanan:
        ---Ang mayaman, palit ng palit ng celfone;
        ---Ang medyo mayaman, palit ng palit ng celfone cover;
        ---Ang nag mamayaman, palit ng palit ng ringtone!

6.)  Famous Quote:
        "Husbands are good lovers when they are betraying their wives."---Marilyn Monroe.

7.)  Boy:  "You are like the sun to me because you give me light."
        Girl:  "Aww, so sweet....well, to me you are like the rain."
        Boy:  "Why?"
        Girl:  "Because you make me wet!"

8.)  Vicki Belo objected to Carlo Caparas being named National Artist for Cinema.
        She says Hayden Kho is more qualified.... director na, actor and cameraman pa.

9.)  "Pareho tayong masama!  Ang pinagkaiba lang natin.... sa akin ugali, sa iyo mukha!"
        --- Anabelle Rama kausap si Mommy Dionisia.

10.)  Ques:  What do spaghetti and women have in common?
        Ans:  They both wiggle when you eat them.

11.)  Oliver sits down at the bar, orders a drink & holds his head in his hands....
        Bartender:  "Hey, Oli, what's happening?"
        Oliver:  "I'm in deep s***.  I just got caught screwing my neighbor."
        Bartender:  "Oh wow!  Who caught you?  Your wife?"
        Oliver:  "No, his wife!"

12.)  The US has a hymn to honor their president.  It's called "Hail to the Chief!"
          Mayroon din sa Pinas, para lamang kay GMA.  The song is:  "Hail to the Thief!"

13.)  Ninoy Aquino said:  "The Filipino is worth DYING for."
        With her $20,000 feast in New York, GMA has said to the world:  "The Filipino
                                            is worth DINING for."

14.)  Confucious says:  Man who drops watch in toilet will have shitty times ahead.

15.)  Beat this logic:
        Doctors say good sex cures prostate problems.
        But most "celibate" priests have no prostate problems.
        Therefore, most priests practice sex!!!







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ahahahahahah, perit na dugay na nooh ahehehee... 

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Inside a classroom:
Teacher: Class our lesson for today is about science. Let me ask you a question, what is science? Any volunteer?
A student name Tikyo raises his hand. who is known to be not a good student and doesn't participate in the class most of the time.
Teacher: ok very good tikyo, this is the first time you raised your hand. Now, what is science?
Tikyo: Science is what our lesson for today. Tenkyu...

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ang iyang anak si desidido mojabal, jr.

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Bwahaha. Hain na kaha tong bataa. If he's faithful to his name, daghan na diay to sijag anak karon.

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pastilan ang ginikanan,dili unta disedido ang gi pangalan,DINARO unta ang name,para dinaro mojabal.

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Kahadlok pod aning lakiha oi.Always ready to fight.

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ang problema kay nakadungog ko nga wala kuno maminyo hangtod karon kay nabayot na kuno. hehehe

bitaw, joke aside, desiderio ang iyang real first name ... amo na lang angga-anggaan og DESIDIDO.

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Hahaha.Pastilan.

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Ha ha ha.

Wa na lagi ta kadungog aning apelyidoha ron. Basin gipausab sa korte. Karon, B*songsacaysacayan na. Joke3x!

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There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the witch doctor appealed to the tribal chief, demanding that a virgin be sacrificed to appease the volcano.

The chief apologized, "I've used up all the virgins myself, so I guess we'll just have to get used to the noise."


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si otik ug juan....

si otik ug juan kauban sa trabaho. ang ilang amo usa ka amerikano. usa ka adlaw ana, na late si otik sa trabaho. kahibawo siya nga kasab-an jud siya sa iyang amo. tungod kay dili kaayo lahiro mo-iningles, iyang gisabot si juan nga tabangan siya.

kano: ohtek, why you came late?
otik: juan, tabangi ko ug tubag ug eninglis... ingna si sir nga nagduha-duha ko ug lakaw kay ang adlaw hapon na maong na late ko.
juan: sir, otik said that "i two by two walk because the sun is japanese".

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Hahahaha.Naay diay japanese sun.Naa siguro pod philippine sun?Kini jud si Otik ba gi gitik jud ko.

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mistyeyed, bisan unsaon ug tago mangalisbo gjod whahahaha 

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Basin mga ut*n sa unano ang gasakaysakay . Pwede usa ka dosena ang pasahero!

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A teacher was teaching her  second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.

Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s***!''

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