Hi Benelynne,
I read your column in the link you shared earlier. Thanks for the insight of what our fellow Filipino mothers in Japan has to deal in regard to the importance of knowing the Japanese language vis a vis their role as mothers.
I am particulary disturbed in what you said, which I quote: "I do not know of a Japanese-Filipino child who has progressed beyond high school." Really? You said that fathers are not expected to be of any help with school assignments. Why is that? I kind of learn about this too because I have two cousins who are married to Japanese nationals. I didn't want to say anything but whenever they are on vacation in Tagbilaran, my cousins are doing most of the job with little help from their husbands. In our term, gakagwatay-gwatay na and yet his husbands are still cool. Is this just an isolated case or am I making a generalization here? Is it just a cultural thing? I was thinking Japanese are not yet gender sensitive. I would rather be wrong.
Thanks a lot!
Orchids, can you share also your view on this matter?
Hi grazie,
The social landscape has changed a lot since the burst of the bubble economy in the mid-90s. There are more women in the workforce. But women are still paid less than the men for the same job. In fact, nobody cries foul over job ads that openly pay men more than the women. And Japan still lags most countries in the world in terms of hiring women on the top corporate echelons.
But I see more men carry babies in the public, a sight unimaginable in the economic heydey of Japan. I doubt, however, if more Japanese men share in the household chores. I believe OrchidsNRoses should be able to say more about this.
You see, a good part of gender relations in Japan is embedded in its culture and history. As you probably know, the Japanese script--kanji or character--is a pictograph which contains the meaning or connotation of the word. In really difficult compound characters, you can guess the meaning with accuracy by looking at the component characters.
For example, Japanese women refer to their husband as shujin, whose character means "master" or "lord." Not only that, they attach an honorific go when they speak of him to other people, which literally makes them address their husband as "my lord". (Of course the word is used less deferentially and more casually these days.)
On the other hand, when a Japanese man speaks of his own wife to other people, he uses the word kanai whose character means "the inside of the house." While this character seems to describe and prescribe the role of women inside the house, it also has the positive meaning of the comfort and safety of the home.
When you talk about somebody else's wife, you use the word okusan or okusama (more polite). Interestingly, the character means the back, or the interior. In one character, the Japanese are expressing the saying, "Behind every man's success is a woman." Perhaps, Japanese men really expect their wives to just give them support behind them.
As to history, during Japan's period of high-economic growth in in the 60s (when we in the 40s and late 30s were children and toddlers), men were expected to have their company as their top priority while the women the home as their domain.
So much for now. I hope I have not confused you.
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