sarcastic jokes

[jorgeanna]

When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.

Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.

One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.

Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"

"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.

"And that shirt's mine too."

"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.

"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.

"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

[jorgeanna]

Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

[jorgeanna]

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.

"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me."

The daughter nods in agreement.

"And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."

The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor, dumb creature has to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry, honey," says the mother. "Your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

[jorgeanna]

You know you are now middle-aged when people stop saying you look good and start saying you look good for your age.

[jorgeanna]

What do politicians & porn stars have in common?

They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

[jorgeanna]

My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. "You're sisters?" he asked incredulously.

Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, "Different plastic surgeons."

[jorgeanna]

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

[jorgeanna]

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.

Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"