Woman's vs. Man's Poem

Started by hubag bohol, March 23, 2012, 01:18:17 PM

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hubag bohol

March 23, 2012, 01:18:17 PM
WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a damn.


Bwahaha!  ;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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MikeLigalig.com

#1
March 23, 2012, 01:20:16 PM
the brutality of poems at its best. :)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son (Jesus Christ), that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. - John 3:16-18

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Lorenzo

#2
March 23, 2012, 01:29:42 PM
hahahahahaha! kulirezz ning tawhana... ;D
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chicogon

#3
March 23, 2012, 02:22:35 PM
Free Translation: Balak Sa Laki

Tagae kog babaye nga buotan
Dili motingog bisan lugpitan
Mosogot kung si mister momamam
Di mangaway bisan dugay mag-ulian  ;D

Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

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islander

#4
March 23, 2012, 03:17:37 PM
poem sa babaye:

ajaw na lamang ko tagaeg laki, ginoo
kay ako makontento sa tindahang dako
sari-sari store nga tanan naa apil bino
moduol tanang laki mag-ibid-ibid kuno
hah, mga ondoy nga utangan duklon ko.
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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Lorenzo

#5
March 23, 2012, 03:27:25 PM
hahaha! padayon inday! ;)
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hubag bohol

#6
March 23, 2012, 03:42:53 PM



Free Translation: Balak Sa Laki

Tagae kog babaye nga buotan
Dili motingog bisan lugpitan
Mosogot kung si mister momamam
Di mangaway bisan dugay mag-ulian  ;D



MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a damn.

A more faithful translation (which no man of God in his right mind would attempt):


Tagai kog buta-bungol nga baje nga bigaon jamo
Nga ang totoy mako jamo mora humongous nga kapayas,
Nga nanag-iyag tindahan sa ilimnon ug golf course.
Wa ni mo-ryhme bikog pero ngano man diay. Letseng jawa...

;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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islander

#7
March 23, 2012, 05:29:56 PM
aray ko!  kanyahay ra son of sam ka, di man of the cloth. ;D
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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hubag bohol

#8
March 23, 2012, 08:57:31 PM

the brutality of poems at its best. :)

He he, sa mga Ilonggo pa, The Song of Brutotaloy... ;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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hubag bohol

#9
March 23, 2012, 09:09:02 PM

poem sa babaye:

ajaw na lamang ko tagaeg laki, ginoo
kay ako makontento sa tindahang dako
sari-sari store nga tanan naa apil bino
moduol tanang laki mag-ibid-ibid kuno
hah, mga ondoy nga utangan duklon ko.


Free English translation:

Don't anymore give me a man, Lord
Of my big business empire I am content
Variety store with everything including liquor
All men come pretending lizard-lizard me
Hah, deadbeat squirts I will smack you hard.

;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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islander

#10
March 23, 2012, 10:07:38 PM

He he, sa mga Ilonggo pa, The Song of Brutotaloy... ;D

heh, brute.  the song of prototaloy na uy.  brutotaloy... mora man kag nag-lbm... brrrruttt. ;D
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

islander

#11
March 23, 2012, 10:09:16 PM

Free English translation:

Don't anymore give me a man, Lord
Of my big business empire I am content
Variety store with everything including liquor
All men come pretending lizard-lizard me
Hah, deadbeat squirts I will smack you hard.

;D

hahahahaha!  unya ra ha?  balikan ta ka kay nagluha pa kog kinatawa diri. ;D ;D
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

chicogon

#12
March 24, 2012, 10:46:46 AM
Chinese "Free" Translation:

Balak mga tupak
Basahon kusog maak
Katawa di ba siak
Ngisi di ba boak
Sumbong di ba makak
Naog habog ak-ak
Uli amo bahakhak
Perte hangak  ;D ;D


Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

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hubag bohol

#13
March 24, 2012, 04:33:35 PM
Tsaynis Balingsyanhon dialect man ni... ;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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Lorenzo

#14
March 25, 2012, 01:11:22 AM
Wow, i am amazed at the balakeros de tubageros. :)
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hubag bohol

#15
March 25, 2012, 07:41:48 AM

heh, brute.  the song of prototaloy na uy.  brutotaloy... mora man kag nag-lbm... brrrruttt. ;D

Same parehas, he he. That's how it sounds to my Arabic ears. Anyhow, I take it to mean that your "it happens" goes "prrrruttt"? ;D

...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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Lorenzo

#16
April 19, 2012, 12:08:00 PM

Free English translation:

Don't anymore give me a man, Lord
Of my big business empire I am content
Variety store with everything including liquor
All men come pretending lizard-lizard me
Hah, deadbeat squirts I will smack you hard.

;D



hahahaha lmao! :P
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hubag bohol

#17
April 21, 2012, 09:43:02 AM

Chinese "Free" Translation:

Balak mga tupak
Basahon kusog maak
Katawa di ba siak
Ngisi di ba boak
Sumbong di ba makak
Naog habog ak-ak
Uli amo bahakhak
Perte hangak  ;D ;D


Back to English, free translation:

Poem of you gone bonkers
When read out loud make hard bite
Laugh let's see if not splintered
Make sneer let's see if not shattered
Confess let's see if not lying
Go down high coconut step
Go home laughing all the way
Breathing very heavily

;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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chicogon

#18
April 21, 2012, 05:44:56 PM
Pwede na ni ibutang sa Poetry Book ni Ms Isles...pasado na sa edit  ;)

Wine does not make you FAT... it makes you LEAN.

(LEAN gainst tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

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