Good News vs Bad News

Started by pioneer, November 06, 2010, 11:38:22 AM

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pioneer

November 06, 2010, 11:38:22 AM
Which one do you want to hear first? Bad news? or Good News? and Why? :)
Romans 10:9
"That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved."

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hubag bohol

#1
November 06, 2010, 12:37:33 PM
Hmm. Bad news na lang tingali. Burag ang badness sa bad news mamenosan sa good news samtang ang goodness sa good news mamenosan sa bad news...

:P
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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bugsay

#2
November 06, 2010, 12:49:18 PM
pulos bad news pero ok ra..

anak nga dalaga:(summer break) ma, pa, duna koy nakaila sa university, gwapo, na suod nako ug nagkauyab gyud mi...

ginikanan: imong buot ipasabot nga buntis ka...ka wa nimo'y.....

anak nga dalaga: wala uyyyy!, pero bagsak ko sa Math

bwahahaha.... ;D
βÏ...γσαψ

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hubag bohol

#3
November 08, 2010, 07:07:31 PM



:P
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

hubag bohol

#4
November 08, 2010, 07:11:32 PM



:o
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

wolfpack823

#5
November 08, 2010, 07:44:18 PM
Anak: Tay good news, naa na ko trabaho
Tatay: Maayo Anak liwad gyud ka ni Tatay nimo
Anak: Bad news Tay, buntis ko, wa ko kahibalo kinsay amahan
Tatay: Mao nay "beeelat" abtig, liwad gyud ka ni Nanay nimo.
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

islander

#6
November 08, 2010, 07:58:08 PM
Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news.

Patient:  What's the good news?

Doctor:  The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: That's the good news?  What's the bad news?

Doctor: The bad news is that  I forgot to call you yesterday!
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

islander

#7
November 08, 2010, 07:59:37 PM
Wife: I have some good news and some bad news.

Husband: What's the good news?

Wife: The good news is I found a picture that's worth $500,000.

Husband: Wow!  That's wonderful!  What's the bad news?

Wife: The bad news is that the picture is of you and your secretary!
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

islander

#8
November 08, 2010, 08:02:17 PM
Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad news.

Artist: What's the good news?

Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of your paintings would go up after you die.  When I told him they would he bought every one of your paintings.

Artist: That's great!  What's the bad news?

Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your doctor!
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

BolBuhol

#9
November 08, 2010, 08:33:24 PM

bad news may ara sang sahug
good news mabodlay magapangtrabaho

cujo

#10
November 08, 2010, 09:05:14 PM

Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news.

Patient:  What's the good news?

Doctor:  The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: That's the good news?  What's the bad news?

Doctor: The bad news is that  I forgot to call you yesterday!


Hehehe I probably would say ,well doc the good news is I can choke you now and would not go to jail for it!
Seriously,No news is good news for me... :)

hubag bohol

#11
November 09, 2010, 01:06:25 PM

Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad news.

Artist: What's the good news?

Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of your paintings would go up after you die.  When I told him they would he bought every one of your paintings.

Artist: That's great!  What's the bad news?

Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your doctor!


He he, patay kang artist ka!


...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

wolfpack823

#12
November 09, 2010, 08:48:05 PM
Good News: Your wife that you wish to be abducted by alien ran away.
Bad News: She ran away with your sister.
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

bol-anon nga cebuano

#13
November 10, 2010, 05:00:21 AM
A guy is in the  hospital with two broken legs. The nurse comes in and tells him that there's good news and bad news.

The guy asks for the bad news first.

The nurse says, "We're going to have to remove your legs."

Then the guy asks for the good news.

The nurse says, "The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers."
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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bol-anon nga cebuano

#14
November 10, 2010, 05:04:25 AM
One day, the Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," the Lord said.

Adam looked at the Lord and said;
"Well,give me the good news first.

Smiling,the Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things,solve problems and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organs to give her children."

Adam very excited,exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could the bad news possibly be?"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
"The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it."

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hubag bohol

#15
January 19, 2011, 09:32:38 PM

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."

Hmm. Angay ba ning kagul-an?
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

cujo

#16
January 19, 2011, 09:40:07 PM

One day, the Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," the Lord said.

Adam looked at the Lord and said;
"Well,give me the good news first.

Smiling,the Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things,solve problems and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organs to give her children."

Adam very excited,exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could the bad news possibly be?"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."

Hmmm...The lord is right there.How many times a man got a woman pregnant and the parents would say."You're not using your brain,but I'll bet he uses his penis" :)

hubag bohol

#17
January 19, 2011, 09:53:22 PM
First I use my brain, then I use my penis. Then I use my brain again...  ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

cujo

#18
January 19, 2011, 10:02:03 PM

First I use my brain, then I use my penis. Then I use my brain again...  ;D
Careful,you might burnt - out your.....self that is! :)

hubag bohol

#19
January 19, 2011, 10:19:10 PM

Careful,you might burnt - out your.....self that is! :)

So far so good. One counts one's blessings. Nowadays, it's not as hard as it used to be--my life, that is!  ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

islander

#20
January 19, 2011, 10:30:45 PM

First I use my brain, then I use my penis. Then I use my brain again...  ;D

it looks like you post something at tb, then to the restroom you go to pee, then post something at tb again... ;D
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

cujo

#21
January 20, 2011, 02:59:33 AM

So far so good. One counts one's blessings. Nowadays, it's not as hard as it used to be--my life, that is!  ;D
:)

Lorenzo

#22
January 20, 2011, 03:02:58 AM

it looks like you post something at tb, then to the restroom you go to pee, then post something at tb again... ;D

lol, murag description man ni ug diabetes insipidus (nephrogenic type).

:P

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hubag bohol

#23
January 20, 2011, 07:25:26 AM

it looks like you post something at tb, then to the restroom you go to pee, then post something at tb again... ;D

Bwahaha! Patay kang Botoy ka! Gipaklaro hinuon nga jingle lang ang pahinga!  ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

wolfpack823

#24
January 30, 2011, 04:20:55 AM

First I use my brain, then I use my penis. Then I use my brain again...  ;D
I dont know if penis has lot of uses nowadays with toys, artificial insemmination etc...Don't limit your activities to that two things LOL...you'll get bored somehow!
"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" (Aristotle)

hubag bohol

#25
January 30, 2011, 08:49:39 AM

I dont know if penis has lot of uses nowadays with toys, artificial insemmination etc...Don't limit your activities to that two things LOL...you'll get bored somehow!

Oh, but I use my arms and legs, too. And my eyes. Yes, my eyes! They often prompt me to use the other parts of my body as well...  ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

cujo

#26
January 30, 2011, 10:33:36 PM

Oh, but I use my arms and legs, too. And my eyes. Yes, my eyes! They often prompt me to use the other parts of my body as well...  ;D
Yeah,don't forget your tongue to lick the woman's ....EARS.It turns a woman on,and THAT from experience!  :P

islander

#27
January 30, 2011, 11:27:09 PM

First I use my brain, then I use my penis. Then I use my brain again...  ;D

hehe, on the presumption that these two have not been overused and are still there... 8)
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines

hubag bohol

#28
January 30, 2011, 11:30:44 PM

Yeah,don't forget your tongue to lick the woman's ....EARS.It turns a woman on,and THAT from experience!  :P

Hmm, earogenous zone, eh?  ;D
...than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Visit www.kwikcare-philcare.com - Most affordable HMO Health Insurance in the Philippines
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