PARENTS: You don't lie to your kids ... do you?

[glacier_71]

PARENTS: You don't lie to your kids ... do you?

March 30, 2010

If you say you never lie to your kids, you're probably not telling the truth.

From the Easter Bunny to spinach to death, we lie about all sorts of things to give our kids a sense of wonder, encourage them to try different foods and protect them from harsh reality.

I am no exception. Although I avoid some of the whoppers my parents told me - "If you swallow gum it will stick in your stomach," and "If you make a face it will get stuck and stay that way" - I still find little white lies slipping out of my mouth.
   
Some lies we justify as being for our kid's own good. Food lies fall in this category. I'm the queen of the food lie.

"Eating carrots will make you see better." "Those aren't mushrooms, those are noodles." "We're all out of candy."

I got my son to eat cauliflower by telling him it was "white broccoli" and I can get him to try just about any light colored meat if I tell him it's chicken or turkey.

There are the lies I tell to avoid an unpleasant situation.

Anyone who's been to McDonalds knows how those junky little Happy Meal toys pile up. Periodically I clean out the toy box and toss the older ones. Every once in a while he decides to dig one out.

"It's around here somewhere, I'm sure we'll find it later," I say without missing a beat.

"It broke" is the fib I tell after tossing an old toy he stopped playing with or the balloon that lingered too long in the corner.

Some lies are to protect your child or avoid topics you're not ready to deal with.

When I took my son to a play about a troupe of teenage actors, to my surprise, there was a scene in which the older woman director got amorous with one of the teenagers. Frowning my son turned to me and asked "Are they married?" "Yes" I said without a second thought.

And then there are the harmless lies we tell to make kids feel good and encourage them.

"That song sounded beautiful." "Your drawing looks just like a (fill in the blank)." "You did better than you did last time."

One lie has even become such a standard, that it's more of a joke than a real lie. I've said it to my son, but always with tongue-in-cheek.

"When I was kid I used to walk to school through six feet of snow, uphill, both ways!"

What are your white lies?

[hubag bohol]

Guilty man tingali tanang ginikanan ani...

[luckybelle]

Hala, when our youngest in the family was 2 years old I took care of him until he was 10 years of age. Had I been too harsh? Because I lied to him once but prefer not to tell him lies again... even white lies.. when I'm mad I say so.. I don't say "ayaw dinha kay naay wakwak" I said... It's not safe there, and when he asked more questions I answered him "you'll know when you grow up" I guess, buotan ra jud sija kaajo na bata because he always follow. I had no problem with him. Now, I never heard him lie.

I got a parenting psychology book, (which I've lost, bisan unsaon najo ug hanap wa na najo nakit-an) ingon man gud didto "don't tell lie to the kids as much as possible because they are smarter than apes" meaning daw curious jud daw na ang mga bata, kung mamakak ka tapos madiskubrihan nila nga namakak ka di na daw na motoo next time na imo ingnon sa samang bakak.

e.g. Bunso at Two Years Old

Ate: Dong tan-awon nato imo ulo, basin naa nagpuyo na mga kuto.
Bunso: Ai, di ko, magdula pa ko.
Ate: Sige ba, dali na dajon, hingut-an teka.
Bunso: Di lagi ko, magdula pa ko.
Ate: Na kung di ka magpahingoto, dajungan kas mga kuto, ilupad ka nila.
Bunso: Nganong dajungan man taraw ko nila, kagamay ana nila ug lawas ah, wa pa jud pako.

Hahaha.. he got me there.. talagang I laughed. Kay sa una ug ilaron ko ing-ani sa aho mga tita motoo jud intawon ko. I guess he's just smarter than me. Pero there, I promised talaga never jud ko mamakak na sa ija. Besides, it's our house rule NEVER LIE

[hofelina]

Ang akong kamahayan nga pag patolog sa anak;  Hala tolog na anak, ayaw hilak kay hala na ay pulis.  Hala naay Bombay manguha ug bata!
This is ridiculous!

[Lorenzo]

lol, manay this is interesting. Ang Bombay mo kuha ug bata? (the indian will steal a child?)

Where did  this saying come from diay?

[Lorenzo]

My mother is the motherly type and will tell me (when i was younger) of scary stories to keep me in check or to keep us in bed. But she is honest in everything, even when it hurts.

My father is a doting , firm, fatherly-type. He is a many of very little words, but when asked, he is quite direct and very brutally honest.

[hofelina]

I used to hear this from my neighbors.

Luckily I stayed one year to care for my eldest daughter, walay sweldo apan ang akong trabaho nakareserba for one year. Si Chris medyo na improve and rules, I stayed 3 years at home to rear him. Akong gi-awitan ang akong mga anak sa baby pa sila. I tried to be honest to my kids, because I wished to shape them into adults with a solid character.

[luckybelle]

I used to hear this from my neighbors.

Luckily I stayed one year to care for my eldest daughter, walay sweldo apan ang akong trabaho nakareserba for one year. Si Chris medyo na improve and rules, I stayed 3 years at home to rear him. Akong gi-awitan ang akong mga anak sa baby pa sila. I tried to be honest to my kids, because I wished to shape them into adults with a solid character.

Mao jud Madam Hofe. Approve!

[Lorenzo]

I used to hear this from my neighbors.

Luckily I stayed one year to care for my eldest daughter, walay sweldo apan ang akong trabaho nakareserba for one year. Si Chris medyo na improve and rules, I stayed 3 years at home to rear him. Akong gi-awitan ang akong mga anak sa baby pa sila. I tried to be honest to my kids, because I wished to shape them into adults with a solid character.

And Chris has become a good man, just from meeting him, Manay. Teach him more of Binisaya, the language of his mother's people...

[hofelina]

My son was also impressed with your keen sense of humor.