MikeLigalig.com

By: Karen Leland
Bestselling Author of Time Managment In An Instant: 60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day


Next time you feel your internal temperature begin to rise, try the eight steps outlined below to calm yourself back down.

Step #1: Take a few deep breaths and count to ten.

Step #2: Ask yourself: What are you feeling? What emotions are you are experiencing? Explore beyond the tip of the emotional iceberg - what are you feeling underneath?

Step #3: Ask yourself: What is it about this situation - specifically - that is making you feel angry? What are the circumstances?

Step #4: Ask yourself: What are you telling yourself about this person or situation? What trigger thoughts are you having?

Step #5: Spend thirty seconds thinking of a less personal/more positive reason why the person may be acting this way (or why this situation is the way it is).

Step #6: Substitute your crazy-making thoughts for calming ones. We asked our clients to tell us what calming thoughts they have found particularly useful in dealing with anger on the job. The answers we heard the most often included:

"This will pass."
"Take this one step at a time."
"I am not going to be the victim of these circumstances."
"I am angry and I can take care of this."
"Focus on what I have to get done and do it."
"Where is the humor in this situation?"

Step #7: Ask yourself: What outcome are you looking for? What do you want to have happen (or have stop happening) in the situation?

Step #8: Ask yourself: What actions can you take to achieve your objective?
Use problem-solving methods such as communication, negotiation, leverage, etc.

Tune in next week when I will cover the other side of the coin - how to deal with the other person's desk rage.

Please note that this article is copyrighted by Karen Leland. If you would like to reprint any or all of it on your blog or website for non-commercial purposes, you are welcome to do so, provided you give credit and a live link back to this post

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