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Live-in or Marriage -- Which One Guarantees a Success in Relationship?

I came across this thread posted in one of the social networking groups. The poster asked this question, “live-in or marriage, which one guarantees a lesser chance of getting divorce?

One reader reflected an answer the he read from another social networking group favoring live-in since this will give both partner a chance to know each other more before they commit themselves. While others opted on the practical aspect of it; live-in, simply because no marriage - no document - no divorce - no costs.

Ok, I don't want to appear as a self-appointed righteous so let's set aside the premise of what the Bible is saying regarding this issue. Let's try to think as what ordinary people might think and be as practical as possible. For me, marriage or live in, either case, nothing assures anything, at least with regards to having a guaranteed success in relationship.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find grounds for marriage. Live-in doesn't guarantee one's success in their marriage for we must always remember that it is the couple who makes the marriage works and not the other way around.

No amount of time spent during the live-in period can guarantee a high success rate when they so decided to get married. Likewise, marriage 'per se' can't be a sure thing, either, that everything is going to be alright between husband and wife. We must keep in mind that when we get married, one should not expect that he/she can change his/her spouse to the way he/she want him/her to be. That's the common pitfall in most marriages; unrealistic expectation that is that commonly leads to disillusion stage. (The 3rd stage in marriage cycle)

There was this saying,' in marriage, open both eyes before and closed one eye after. All those 'and they lived happily ever after’ fairy tale endings need to be changed to 'and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy’. In other words, marry the person not because you can change him/her but marry the person because you love everything about him/her and that includes his/her imperfections. After all, you aren’t perfect either, right?

Lastly, if your spouse is truly 100% perfect, he/she may not deserve you being a perfect person. He/she may find one who could be in equal footing with him/her.
 
“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love." (Dietrich Bonheoffer, writing to a young bride and groom from his prison cell in Nazi Germany in 1943)



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