Author Topic: If You Were My Wife (Read 7733 times)

pioneer · « **on:** May 23, 2008, 06:49:33 PM »

Lady Astor: Winston, if I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.

Sir Winston Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

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Happy · « **Reply #1 on:** May 23, 2008, 07:12:44 PM »

Hahaha, better drink the poison than to be his wife diay

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Gener · « **Reply #2 on:** November 09, 2008, 05:28:32 PM »

When I was still working in the Philippines, I had this Chinese-Malaysian as a boss. He is a typical Chinese-Malaysian who loves night life. Very often, he invites all of us male managers to go with him to have a casual drinking after office hours at his costs, usually every Friday. This activity or I will say opportunity we find perfectly fine at first. Subsequent outings with him comes a bit more daring, from bar-hopping to girl club hopping. Until came a point that no one among us wanted to go out with him and sometimes have to make lots of excuses for our boss is eating up much of our private time.

One time, while we were inside a 'girly' joint, we were seated in a round table, each with table partner. (Mind you, we were there, 2 filipino managers with our boss not to enjoy ourselves but somewhat as a tourist guide for our adventurous boss) I even explained this to my partner and she was a bit reluctant to order for a ladies drink, thinking that my presence there is a bit of an extension of my job and not for pleasure. So we both agreed that her 1st ladies drink will be her last. However, I sensed that my boss likes my partner and I was right, he (my Boss) asked me if I could convince my partner to go out with him. I did ask the girl but the girl refuses but opted to go out with me instead at no cost. I tried to convince the girl and I told her that she will be doing me a big favor if I could manage to persuade her to go out with my boss. With the background music too loud, we have to shout on each other's ear and sometimes have to whisper the message near one's ear just to be heard. To make the long story short, the negotiation remains futile, the girl didnt go out with my boss, neither did I go out with the girl. So the 3 of us (my other filipino colleague, me and my boss) part ways. I drove back home and with my usual routine upon coming home, I sat beside my wife while she was lying on the bed watching TV. I removed my shirt, there's where the problem begun--my wife saw a lipstick mark near my ear. She asked where did I come from and I told her that I was with my boss in a girly joint. She asked me why I was there, I told her Im just doing an extension of my job. She asked me why and how in heavens name did I get that lipstick mark near my ear. I told her that I was talking to this girl that my boss wanted to take out with him and we were discussing while the loud music is playing, so we need to whisper to each other just to be heard and that's how the lipstick mark got on my earlobe. She asked if I did take advantage of the situation owing it to the fact that the girl likes me instead of my boss. I told her no I did not.

If you are my wife, would you believe it or not and why?

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Moyhua · « **Reply #3 on:** November 10, 2008, 08:06:01 AM »

Honestly Gener if I am your wife and even if you are telling me the whole truth I would still suspect you.

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Gener · « **Reply #4 on:** November 12, 2008, 06:36:38 PM »

Honestly Gener if I am your wife and even if you are telling me the whole truth I would still suspect you.

So how could one validates the reason of another, whether he/she is telling the truth?

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hofelina · « **Reply #5 on:** November 12, 2008, 06:50:37 PM »

Gener,

Pakilagay nga ng iyong litrato para makita ko ang iyong mga mata. Dahil dito daw nababasa ang kanyang kalooban!

Ate Tess

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Gener · « **Reply #6 on:** November 13, 2008, 05:22:03 PM »

Gener,

Pakilagay nga ng iyong litrato para makita ko ang iyong mga mata. Dahil dito daw nababasa ang kanyang kalooban!

Ate Tess

Hi Manay Tess
Honestly, I'm trying to upload my picture here for the past weeks to establish my physical identity but I couldn't and I dont know how . Need help from the admin please

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hofelina · « **Reply #7 on:** November 13, 2008, 06:41:27 PM »

He he he, medyo curios ako dahil sa postings mo tantiya ko lady killer ka!

ps

having your children enrolled in St Scholastica is a wise decision. Sis Mary John Mananzan is a very progressive nun. I met her twice in Germany.

Manay Tess

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simplylee · « **Reply #8 on:** November 13, 2008, 07:20:16 PM »

So how could one validates the reason of another, whether he/she is telling the truth?

para naku Gener magsulti man sa tinuod o dili ang tawo or bisan kinsa man bisan pa akong bana dili ko mohukom kay naa bayay mas labing nasayod sa kamatuoran. unya dili man ako ang manubag sa iyang gipanulti.

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Gener · « **Reply #9 on:** November 15, 2008, 12:50:20 PM »

para naku Gener magsulti man sa tinuod o dili ang tawo or bisan kinsa man bisan pa akong bana dili ko mohukom kay naa bayay mas labing nasayod sa kamatuoran. unya dili man ako ang manubag sa iyang gipanulti.

Manay tess, help, need translation on this, hahaha

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Gener · « **Reply #10 on:** November 15, 2008, 12:56:08 PM »

He he he, medyo curios ako dahil sa postings mo tantiya ko lady killer ka!

ps

having your children enrolled in St Scholastica is a wise decision. Sis Mary John Mananzan is a very progressive nun. I met her twice in Germany.

Manay Tess

hahaha, hindi po manay tess, minsan lang naligaw ng landas.
yes, we prefer SSC kahit na may kamahalan ang tuition fee, maganda kasi ang moral at educational foundation ng mga bata and very evident sa mga anak ko kaya pilit naming pinagsusumikapan na mag asawa, this march graduation ng ng daughter ko also my son sa Don Bosco naman, kaya im planning to have a vacation sa pinas, ciempre im really proud of them

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LanggamTamsi2 · « **Reply #11 on:** November 15, 2008, 02:07:02 PM »

Hi Manay Tess
Honestly, I'm trying to upload my picture here for the past weeks to establish my physical identity but I couldn't and I dont know how . Need help from the admin please

hello gener open ka muna nito na site www.photobucket.com tapos iupload mo ang pics mo then copy the code and paste it in tb window. yong IMG code ha?.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #12 on:** November 15, 2008, 04:06:45 PM »

Manay tess, help, need translation on this, hahaha

Quote from: simplylee on Yesterday at 03:20:16 AM
para naku Gener magsulti man sa tinuod o dili ang tawo or bisan kinsa man bisan pa akong bana dili ko mohukom kay naa bayay mas labing nasayod sa kamatuoran. unya dili man ako ang manubag sa iyang gipanulti.

Let me try to help you, Mr. Gener, in translating what was earlier posted by Tita Lee. I hope Tita Tess agrees with my translation though.

:

For me Gener, whether or not a person is saying the truth - even my husband, I will not judge because there is someone (referring to our God), who knows the real truth. Besides, I will not be answerable to what he or she is saying.

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lindy · « **Reply #13 on:** November 15, 2008, 04:57:58 PM »

mao niy giingon ug reverse phsycology.

para naku Gener magsulti man sa tinuod o dili ang tawo or bisan kinsa man bisan pa akong bana dili ko mohukom kay naa bayay mas labing nasayod sa kamatuoran. unya dili man ako ang manubag sa iyang gipanulti.

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hofelina · « **Reply #14 on:** November 15, 2008, 06:00:46 PM »

Gener,
you should get used to our sense of humor. Bol-anon women are proud and very self secure. They are mostly loving and family oriented. Most of the Germans married to Pinay Bol-anons will attest to that. That is why they have settled in Bohol for good. It is sometimes put to a joke that it a German flag will be openly put up due to the strong German presence here in this small island!
Manay TEss

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Gener · « **Reply #15 on:** November 17, 2008, 02:34:03 PM »

Let me try to help you, Mr. Gener, in translating what was earlier posted by Tita Lee. I hope Tita Tess agrees with my translation though.

:

For me Gener, whether or not a person is saying the truth - even my husband, I will not judge because there is someone (referring to our God), who knows the real truth. Besides, I will not be answerable to what he or she is saying.

Wow, this is the best reply I have ever read so far. God bless Tita Lee. Thanks for the translation grazie7y.

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Gener · « **Reply #16 on:** November 17, 2008, 02:36:05 PM »

hello gener open ka muna nito na site www.photobucket.com tapos iupload mo ang pics mo then copy the code and paste it in tb window. yong IMG code ha?.

Thank you, I will try to do it as per your tip.

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grazie7y · « **Reply #17 on:** November 17, 2008, 03:16:53 PM »

Wow, this is the best reply I have ever read so far. God bless Tita Lee. Thanks for the translation grazie7y.

You are welcome, Gener. My pleasure.

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buwadsanga · « **Reply #18 on:** November 17, 2008, 03:43:11 PM »

im a husband that would always tell the truth even if i lie!!!

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hofelina · « **Reply #19 on:** November 17, 2008, 03:46:15 PM »

If I am your wife, youÂ´ll be wearing a chastity belt!

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buwadsanga · « **Reply #20 on:** November 18, 2008, 09:07:14 AM »

hahahaha! im a houdini hofe no problemo.

mga baji, sabta nalang ming mga lalaki, kami ay mga aggresive animal mao nga ingon ani mi!

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hofelina · « **Reply #21 on:** November 18, 2008, 03:46:25 PM »

Buwadsanga, aggressive animals are best castrated!

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lindy · « **Reply #22 on:** November 18, 2008, 03:53:36 PM »

tinuod gyud na buwad mas maayo pa mag tug-an sa tinuod.
unya kon duna kay lakaw dalha permi bisan asa. moabot nang panahon dili na gyud na mokuyog nimo ug pasagdan ka na lang. bahalag asa ka basta mouli lang. ang resulta wala na sab nuon kay gana molakaw sa panahon nga ikaw patuyangan na ug lawkwatsa.

im a husband that would always tell the truth even if i lie!!!

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A Layman · « **Reply #23 on:** November 18, 2008, 05:15:53 PM »

Pag kinawat kawat imong buhaton ato a ang thrill. Ug pasagdan ka na lang, wa na jamoy thrill. Para maundang na ang ingon anang buhata, ug ako ang natungdan, I will tell my wife the truth, that I am telling her lies, di ba? Sama sa magtiayon nga nagkalingaw ug away tungod kay sugarol kaayo ang laki,

ASAWA: Tan awa kanang imong mga anak ron, nagmokmok kay way gikaon. Gihatagan ti kaw ug kwarta aron ipalit ug bugas ug ginamos. Hain ra man to nga wa man kay napalit bisan ug tipasi.

BANA: Akong gisugal para unta makapalit tag fried chicken man lang, pero napildi ko.
ASAWA: Giingnan ta ka nga ajaw na ug sugal, undangi na nang imong bisyo, pero hangtod ron mao ka man gihapon. Sugod karon dili na ta mag dog. Diha kanas gawas, wa kay silbing bana ka. Diha ka na lang matog sa kilid sa atong anay diha sa silong.

BANA: Hon, ayaw baya tinud a nang imong gipangsulti, di man ko makatulog ug di ko katambid nimo. Promise na ko, di na ko magsugal.

ASAWA: Tinood? di ka na magsugal?
BANA: Cross my heart Hon, di na gyod ko mag sugal.

ASAWA: Unsa may imong pruweba nga di ka na jod magsugal.
BANA: Hon, PUSTAHAN pa ta, di na gyod ko.

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Gener · « **Reply #24 on:** November 18, 2008, 06:12:48 PM »

Pag kinawat kawat imong buhaton ato a ang thrill. Ug pasagdan ka na lang, wa na jamoy thrill. Para maundang na ang ingon anang buhata, ug ako ang natungdan, I will tell my wife the truth, that I am telling her lies, di ba? Sama sa magtiayon nga nagkalingaw ug away tungod kay sugarol kaayo ang laki,

ASAWA: Tan awa kanang imong mga anak ron, nagmokmok kay way gikaon. Gihatagan ti kaw ug kwarta aron ipalit ug bugas ug ginamos. Hain ra man to nga wa man kay napalit bisan ug tipasi.

BANA: Akong gisugal para unta makapalit tag fried chicken man lang, pero napildi ko.
ASAWA: Giingnan ta ka nga ajaw na ug sugal, undangi na nang imong bisyo, pero hangtod ron mao ka man gihapon. Sugod karon dili na ta mag dog. Diha kanas gawas, wa kay silbing bana ka. Diha ka na lang matog sa kilid sa atong anay diha sa silong.

BANA: Hon, ayaw baya tinud a nang imong gipangsulti, di man ko makatulog ug di ko katambid nimo. Promise na ko, di na ko magsugal.

ASAWA: Tinood? di ka na magsugal?
BANA: Cross my heart Hon, di na gyod ko mag sugal.

ASAWA: Unsa may imong pruweba nga di ka na jod magsugal.
BANA: Hon, PUSTAHAN pa ta, di na gyod ko.

MEdyo kasabot ako ng konti sa joke na ito, kaya lang, talagang nose bleed ako, hahhaa

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hofelina · « **Reply #25 on:** November 18, 2008, 06:15:06 PM »

Ondoy Gener,

This is learning Bisayan in action!

Manay Tess

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alfonso_potane · « **Reply #26 on:** November 18, 2008, 06:43:47 PM »

hala posta i na dina lagi na mosugal toinks...

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A Layman · « **Reply #27 on:** November 18, 2008, 07:24:53 PM »

Gener, bro 'sensya ka na lang ha? Pag itranslate ko kasi ang kwentong to into Tagalog version wala na kwenta. Di ko alam kung may tatawa pa. Manay Tess SOS!

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alfonso_potane · « **Reply #28 on:** November 18, 2008, 07:29:17 PM »

heheehhe.. mao gyud bai.. pero baka mas katatawanan pang basahin bro...peace...

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A Layman · « **Reply #29 on:** November 18, 2008, 07:33:21 PM »

Bai fonz, suwaje kunog talalog to bai. Mga bisaya maajo man kuno mopalambot sa mga matitigas. At yong mga matitigas napapalambot. Mao nga ang mga baje diri sa Manila, ayyy!!! gusto jod nila ang mga bisaya kay matitigas kuno ang mga dila!

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alfonso_potane · « **Reply #30 on:** November 18, 2008, 07:36:10 PM »

okey i try hehehe basin di pod ko kamao,... sensya daan if di nako ma translate...

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alfonso_potane · « **Reply #31 on:** November 18, 2008, 07:45:58 PM »

morag sorry jud kaajokay lisod man i translate hehehe...sensy ana.. po..

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A Layman · « **Reply #32 on:** December 04, 2008, 03:34:06 PM »

If you were my wife...pweh!!! Di na jod ko mangitag lain pa! Ikaw ug ikaw ra jod akong panggaon hantod sa ilawom wa akong lubnganan.

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A Layman · « **Reply #33 on:** December 13, 2008, 08:03:46 PM »

Sana ug unta ikaw ang akong napangasawa, di na unta ko makatilaw ug unsa ang economic depression sa America ron! Unta ang ako lang kanunay nga matilawan ang imohang depression.

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #34 on:** December 14, 2008, 12:06:36 AM »

im a husband that would always tell the truth even if i lie!!!

hahahha

Buwad i always like you!

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buwadsanga · « **Reply #35 on:** December 18, 2008, 01:02:12 PM »

thanks Dabs, miss ko na kayong lahat. was busy these days preparing presentation materials for Manny Pangilinan our company chairman and Mike Defensor president of PNR to build a road/rail combination project to connect north and south expressways. pohon maluoy ang Ginoo ma usob na ang traffic congestion and iiksi na ang travel time sa manila at mausob na ang skyline sa old manila city!

kong ikaw akong asawa dabs mag sigi lang gyud kog higda unya simhot simhot sa imong alimyon. mga gwapa ning mga taga dipolog! tininuod ning aho ha!

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A Layman · « **Reply #36 on:** December 18, 2008, 06:26:34 PM »

Seriously speaking! In thoughts, in words, and in dead!

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ms da binsi · « **Reply #37 on:** December 18, 2008, 11:32:41 PM »

thanks Dabs, miss ko na kayong lahat. was busy these days preparing presentation materials for Manny Pangilinan our company chairman and Mike Defensor president of PNR to build a road/rail combination project to connect north and south expressways. pohon maluoy ang Ginoo ma usob na ang traffic congestion and iiksi na ang travel time sa manila at mausob na ang skyline sa old manila city!

kong ikaw akong asawa dabs mag sigi lang gyud kog higda unya simhot simhot sa imong alimyon. mga gwapa ning mga taga dipolog! tininuod ning aho ha!

Goodluck on your project Wad.

that sounds very interesting...

anyway, simhot jud sa alimyon?

nga nanimaho na ug anoos!

hahahahhahah

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