Author Topic: 3 Simple Ways to Make Love Grow  (Read 863 times)

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3 Simple Ways to Make Love Grow
« on: February 08, 2009, 06:29:44 PM »
3 simple ways to make love grow

Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:46:00 02/08/2009

Close this KEEPING a relationship could use a rule of corporate management: manage expectations. Don’t promise the moon so you don’t disappoint—yourself or your partner. That’s most unromantic, but then a relationship or marriage, while it begins with romance (ideally, that is), must go beyond romance. In many cases, marriage is what you still have—even after romance.

Once you realize that, you know you have reached the age of reason.

Keeping a relationship or marriage is like corporate management—again—in that you have target performance vis-a-vis actual performance. In many instances again, the actual is way below the target. You realize that the morning after.

But unlike corporate management, a relationship or marriage has no finish line. You can’t start anew with zero budget. You just have to keep plodding on, without counting your returns.

Here we asked some couples to simplify for us into three ways how they keep their relationship or marriage. Why simplify?

Because if you think about it, the beauty of a relationship is its sheer simplicity. No complex load. We also made sure the men answered separately from the women. Why? Because men are from Mars and women from Venus. (The men also go tongue-in-cheek. No emotional striptease for them—another thing you discover about the species.)

Come to think of it, after you’ve gone through the inequities and virtues of being in a relationship, what you truly want at the end of day is someone you can dump your day’s cares and woes on, and someone who can turn these tears into laughter. Day after day.

The feisty and feared lawyer Lorna Kapunan, after her husband’s death years ago, had one realization as she continued to pine for him: “Death only ends life, not a relationship.” How true.

Taguig Mayor Freddie and Kaye Tiñga

Kaye:

He is my biggest fan, in his eyes I can do so many things I didn’t think I was capable of, but with his support I actually can.

He is the world’s coolest dad. I love it when he spends time playing video games, watching sci-fi movies into the wee hours with the kids.

He goes with me to all these places he hates like the shopping mall, New York City, girly events, because it makes him happy to see me happy.

Freddie:

She keeps me standing tall. She helps me through it all. I’m always strong when she’s beside me.

She doesn’t give just clever conversation. She never makes me work that hard. She is someone I can just talk to.

She will listen to me when I want to speak about the world we live in and life in general. Though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted, she’ll hear me out and won’t easily be converted to my way of thinking. In fact she’ll often disagree but in the end, she will understand me.

Julius and Shelly Mojica

Julius:

I make sure she’s No. 1 priority, always.

I don’t forget any special occasion, and take her out on a special date every time.

I’m her number one critic and fan.

Shelly:

I don’t keep any secrets from him, except for shopping once in a while, and we make sure we have this bonding moment before we sleep, even just chatting.

I respect his decisions, views, interests and make him have the last say, or make him believe at least that’s the case.

He’s my No. 1 priority, no matter what it costs me.

Pete and Margo Felix

Pete:

I say ok when she wants something.

I say “you’re right” when we go into potentially heated discussion.

I do not forget to do Nos. 1 and 2 at all times.

Margot:

Encourage his dreams, support his decisions, respect his needs and make sure he has a home he can’t wait to come home to.

Pj and Suyin Enriquez

Pj:

Trust

Family vacations

Kids

Suyin:

Go out on dates or go out with friends without our daughter

Have a family day, usually Sunday when we do something together with our daughter, like go to Timezone or to the mall.

Surprise each other with gifts on special occasions


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