Author Topic: Dead Seriousness News: Pope Benedict XVI Resigns Papacy, Converts to Islam  (Read 1934 times)

Votives

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HOLY SEE – In a shocking press conference Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI revealed to the world that he will be stepping down from the Catholic Church’s highest office. “Through prayer and reflection over the past years,” the world’s holiest man began, “I’ve realized that Allah is the one true God.”
Amid clattering camera shutters and roaring reporters, Pope Benedict patiently answered questions, citing traditional Muslim folklore as well as passages from the Qur’an to explain his decision. His session was interrupted only once, when he swiveled South-East to face Mecca, stooped to the ground, and recited the Asr, one of the five daily prayers central to Muslim belief.
The startling reversal comes as a shock to many familiar with the Pope’s policies on Islam. “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached,” the Bishop of the Vatican famously said of Islam in his 2006 lecture Faith, Reason and the University—Memories and Reflections.
When asked about the quote, Pope Benedict sighed with good-humored remorse and chuckled quietly to himself: “Yeah I’ve regretted that for some time. But I was young and naïve… I see things much clearer now. Besides, I’ve always kinda liked the thought of having a sword. The Cardinals were a real pain on that one.”
When asked whether he would be reverting to his born name, Pope Benedict enthusiastically interjected. “I’ve decided to change my name to Sajjad Sayyid Ratzinger,” His Ex-Holiness explained. “I’m keeping my surname purely for logistical reasons, so my Facebook friends and Twitter followers won’t be confused.”
His transition hasn’t been without opposition. Hours after the press conference, a special Fox and Friends segment aired on FOXNEWS, featuring a picture of the Pope photoshopped to include stereotypical Islāmic features, including: a turban in place of his mitre, darkened complexion, black hair, and Arabic letters spelling out an endorsement of Barack Hussein Obama tattooed across his chest. Beneath the picture, the panel discussed the possible involvement of Pope Benedict XVI, 85, in 9/11. The segment’s title, “The Holy Heathen,” emblazoned the lower left corner of the screen.
This morning, newspapers nationwide featured an editorial by Bill O’Reilly detailing the parallels between the Pope’s “betrayal of God-loving Christians everywhere” with the “betrayal of the American people and the Constitution by Benedict Arnold, his liberal agenda, and his radical left-wing entourage


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islander

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obviously just an irreverent spoof.  votive's post does not credit any author, but my understanding as i checked a certain website where this appears is that it's written (or reposted?) by one Emmett Eldred who describes himself as a "Music blogger for inyourspeakers.com, creativeedgemusic.com, and mediroid.com. Future comedian/writer/ruler of the world. He loves when you follow him on twitter (https://twitter.com/emmetteldred) and tweet angry things at him."   

this self-styled future comedian still has a long way to go though.  the only funny thing here is how many commenters believe this to be true.  one more sign of the dumbing of america.

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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Votives

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hopefully dili jud ni tinuod na balita....

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Think wisely before you speak and listen intently to the people with fruit on the tree. Break down the barrier of stubbornness and pride otherwise you'll always be a part of the crowd..

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islander

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it is not news to begin with.  it is only a feeble attempt, in poor writing at that, at trying to be funny.

if this were true, all the world's newspapers, radio and tv would have had this as their blazing headlines for days on end.  right in our own country, even the sabah issue would have been relegated to the inside pages for this.  there would have been pandemonium; our streets would have been filled with howls and our catholic churches, in possible disarray.  luckily for the writer of this spoof, catholicism does not issue a fatwa.

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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islander

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mas motuo pa ko nga si hubag, bugsay ug pikoy nag-crossdress. ;D

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

islander

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pakapinan pa nga si lorenz gikan sa beauty spa ug si votives nahimong pari. ;D

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

islander

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as for me, aw, nahimong iring. ;D

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

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Votives

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mas motuo pa ko nga si hubag, bugsay ug pikoy nag-crossdress. ;D

Kumbate...

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Think wisely before you speak and listen intently to the people with fruit on the tree. Break down the barrier of stubbornness and pride otherwise you'll always be a part of the crowd..

islander

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

fdaray

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Life is what you make.
Kon naa kay gisoksok, naa kay makuot.

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islander

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shocking in its base imagination.  but it's as true as manny villar having camella homes in pluto.  or as true as his wife cynthia villar who's now gunning for a senate seat is so humble and so pretty.

Linkback: https://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=70503.0
Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

Book your travel tickets anywhere in the world, go to www.12go.co

unionbank online loan application low interest, credit card, easy and fast approval

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