#3. Because Someone Reading Is Way Better Than You
Depending on the popularity and activity of your chosen Internet cesspool, within seconds, minutes or hours of submitting a boast, someone will reply that they've done the same thing, only way better than you, and that you're kind of pathetic for even bringing up your little feat. "Son of a bitch!" you shout. "No one knows more karate than me!" you add, punching the monitor in half. Indeed, striking monitors in twain is the first (and most popular) of two possible reactions to such a counter-boast:
1) "That son of a bitch is lying!"
We've already explained why this is likely, but if your reading comprehension is not entirely there, a recap: It's because everyone on the Internet lies, all the time, and if they're not lying, you probably should just pretend they are. If that realization doesn't help you understand why you shouldn't have bragged in the first place, well, read that sentence again and see if anything clicks.
2) "Unless they actually are much better than me."
The Internet is a big place, and by now everyone who's not desperately poor or elderly is probably hanging around on it in some capacity. Competitive cyclists, Nobel laureates, former Mouseketeers and all sorts of accomplished people are, as we speak, hanging out in the comments section of Cracked right now, just being incredibly accomplished. Which means that unlike in say, high school, where you might very well be the best battle rapper around, you're definitely not that on the Internet.
So which will it be? Will you accept the humbling that comes with knowing you're second best? Or decide that the other guy's a liar, and accept the implication that that means you're probably a liar, too, and the confusing spiral of self-doubt and despair this realization will set you on?
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