Remembering my Friend Marlene.
I met her when I migrated to Davao City to find a job right after I graduated from college. She is my sorority sister. When my savings ran out, she offered me to stay in their house. He parents love me like a real child, her siblings considered me as one of them. I called her parents Mommy and Daddy. She was working and was financially supporting me until I landed a job in the Department of Agriculture. I have no family, and they gave me one. I was so sad when she left Davao City and went to Manila to take CPA board exam. She decided to stay in Manila, luckily she found a good job. While she was gone, my career was getting stable. I was given the opportunity to work as an Expatriate for South Asian food security program, a Swiss funded and I left Davao City to stay in our Asian headquarter in Bangkok. The pay check was good so after my contract I decided to stay in Manila. Since then, we never been separated, only when she finally got a boyfriend and got married. I was so furious when I know about it. I know all her life she wanted to be a nun, the only thing that keep her holding is her family which she was financially supporting. I promised her that I will be rich so she can follow her heart's desire. I failed her because I was not able to make so much money to support my family and hers. She considered my failure as a sign of God for her to marry. I was the Maid of Honor on her wedding but, I did not attend. I failed her searchings. We don't talk for a while, but when she got her first baby Dannah, she called me to be the Godmother. Then, we were back to each other. When Daddy got cancer, she asked me if we are going to let Daddy undergo a chemo. I said no, God has plans for Daddy and, let him feel comfortable.
She did not push the issue of chemo. Later I realized, if money can save his life why not. I have little savings at that time, and I told her again that we can afford to give Daddy a chemo. But, she told me Daddy is too weak already, I need to come home to Davao because he was looking for me. At the time I was on my campaign trail for National Vice President for Sorority in our frat/sor; a dream that I worked hard to realize. Because of this, my travels to all regions were very intensive. The convention will be in Davao so I decided to go there ahead of time before the convention and spend time with Daddy. It was May 26, at 3pm I was on his bedside at the hospital, he wished me luck for the election. In between sobs I can't believe it takes me too long to visit the man that stood as my father all these times. Thirty minutes later Daddy closed his eyes forever. Marlene comforted me that Daddy was only waiting for me. For the second time, I feel that I failed her. I carry that in my heart for a long time. I was so ashamed for being so overwhelmed with my dreams, that I forgot to give my friend the needed support when she needs it most. I was overwhelmed with guilt, until one day, she told me that she always understand the life I have chosen. That she will always support my undertakings, my plans and support whatever that makes me happy because she loves me.
She has a godly heart, but was unfortunate with finances after she got married. She always told me that she accepted her fate because God punished her for not following her desired vocation. I always convince her that God will never punish a clean and good heart. When I migrated in the US, I was supporting her financial needs. Then I sent her to nursing school, at first she does not want because she does not want to burden me, but I insisted. Now, she is a registered nurse and her life was changed forever.
We are both happy in our own world though, thousand miles away from each other. We both know that we are always there for each other, nothing can change that.
I am now completely free of guilt for once I did something to the person I truly care and love more than a family. It is truly not the blood that runs in your heart, it is through the heart that makes a certain person so special in your life.
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