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It’s a lazy Sunday morning.

 

By the time I wake up, the crowing of the cock is still drifting in the Sunset Drive neighborhood. The last song syndrome, the (Christmas) song ubiquitously heard in all department stores starting yesterday, is still clinging in my head like a hangover.

 

With my bedroom windows eternally open and sleeping only in boxer shorts, the chill this morning exceeds the past rainy morning. The sunlight that escaped the overcast is sifted by the bamboo curtain, streaking in the floor filled with laundry.

 

My alarm clock, dead since a month ago, registers 1:30am. Then my handyphone by the bedside table blinks that familiar blink. It’s 7:30am, with 8 messages queuing up.

 

What I always look forward to a morning like this is the Inday Text Series. With all these humorous (green), motivational to religious (ahem!) forwarded messages, you’ll never know when it fights for its own space in the inbox.

 

Inday is a rather high-brow and philosophical household staff whose spiels would equal Plato or Shakespeare. Pun intended. I’m sure you have your own dose of Inday also.

 

After the Malu Fernandez OFW issue that rocked the blog community, I’m sharing the Inday SMS stored in my archive. It’s the first Sunday of September for crying out loud! Here’s my dose:

 

Let us hear Inday make some philosophical noise:

 

“Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.”

 

--sagot ni Inday nung sumabog and microwave na ginamit niya.

 

 

-------------------------------------

 

Atty:                 Inday, pwede mo bang e describe dito sa korte and taong nang rape sa iyo?

Inday:            Maitim, panot, tighiyatin, pango ang ilong at bungal.

 

Suspek:         Sige! Mamintas ka pa! Tang *** mo!

 

 

-------------------------------------

 

 

Amo:            Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week’s meal?

 

Inday:          Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term ‘fishes’ although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Forzen or fresh? (pauses) Ahh… given the meager budget afforded by this household’s quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the staple “ ga-lewng-gong.” Am I correct?

 

Amo:           L***e!

 

 

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Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn’t cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. Do it everyday. This is one of the most obvious qualities of the most beloved people. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words.

 

--yan ang sinabi ni Inday noong di siya pina-utang at pinagmumura pa ng amo niya.

 

 

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I’m so sick and tired of this cruel life! In solitude I always thread this life’s endless road, amidst the spooky, cold and uncertain darkness of the night. Shouting relentlessly at the top of my lungs just to touch your ears and answer your exotic cravings…

 

--magbabalot, sosyal at depressed, kaibigan ni Inday

 

 

 

I will end this entry with something fit for a Sunday’s consumption. This one is a statement about the OFW household staff.

From the Filipina who made Momma P.I. truly proud:

 

 

Q: "What do you say to the people of the world who have typecasted Filipinos as nannies?"


A: "I take no offense on being typecasted as a nanny. But I do take offense that the educated people of the world have somehow degenerated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. Let me
tell you what she is. She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you -your child, the elderly, yourself. She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. So to those who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. It is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. And for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture."

--Miss International Precious Lara Quigaman (2005)

 

 

 

Hail!

There you go.

 

Now, Santa, can you hear me? I’ve been good all year. iBook lang please. Promise, I’ll never procrastinate.

 


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Pinoy rOcks!
way to go!

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Ito pa;

Sir: Inday, wala Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto..
Inday: What?! are u nuts..?! for your information Sir, i intend to
reserve my virginity 4 the person i truly love! if u think i'm an
easy-2-get cheap slut, well you're barking at the wrong tree! And
will you please act like a professional because you're so Eeewww...
If i hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, i will not
hesitate to take legal action!
Sir: Leche, maarte ka!
Inday: Joke lang sir tara na sa taas!

-----------------------------------------------
Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda..ay o nga pala, inglesera
ka na ngaun, would you please buy many fishes for this week's
meal?
Inday:Judging by your statement, i believe you meant a variety of
fish . The term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of
different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more
pressing questions before i go to the wet market would be: what type
of fish? fillet or not?frozen or fresh? ahh.. given the meager budget
afforded by this household's quasi-peasant class taste, i assume i
shall source the staple "galewnggeng." Ryt?
Amo: Leche!
------------------------------------------------

Dear mother,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, i must have collapsed moment
ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the
head acident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned
by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh, such an erudite
bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be
such strenuous employ!
- Inday

Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka!!Magpadala ka ng pera!! nasa ospital nanay mo,
dumugo ang ilong sa kakabasa ng sulat mo.
- Tatay

 

----------------------------------------------------

Thank you for calling...
This is Indigh, How can i provide you
with world-class service?"

Si Inday nag call center na
---------------------------------------------
Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well
engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
-----------------------------------------------
Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking
havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was
heading for.

Amo: (nosebleed)
-------------------------------------------------
"To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable
statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."

- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate

--------------------------------------------------------

AMO: Inday, ano ginawa mo sa microwave natin at sumabog?

INDAY: Success is often the result of taking misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.

AMO: Impostora! Lumayas ka dito!
------------------------------------------------------------

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”

- ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay

-----------------------------------------------------------

Amo: Inday, paki-abot nga ‘yung ketchup…

Inday: While it can hardly be considered a health food, ketchup has been found to be a beneficial source of lycopene, an antioxidant which fights some forms of cancer. This is particularly true of the organic brands of ketchup. In fact, organic brands were found to contain three times as much lycopene as non-organic brands. Ketchup, much like marinara sauce and other cooked tomato foods, yields higher levels of lycopene per serving because cooking makes lycopene in tomatoes more bio-available.

Amo: Gaga!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Amo: Inday, bakit kulang ang sukli na ibinigay mo?


Inday: Hmmm… The person from the selling entity might have experienced memory deficiency due to the difficulty in concentrating and that lack of concentration lead to forgetfulness in giving the excess monetary equivalent due from the purchased item.

Amo: I think I’m gonna faint!
------------------------------------------------------------

Sa Resto:

Waiter : Ano po order nila maam?

Amo: Ung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday,ano sayo?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sautéed pork and chicken,boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts,with copious amount of garlic, onion and laurel,sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

Amo: Iho, paorder daw ng adobo with rice


--------------------------------------------------------------

Overnight, inaral ng amo ni inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay inday

Amo: so inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chaimbermaid in this extravagant mansion??

Inday:una camarera?eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: what??!!(dumudugo na ilong)
------------------------------------------------------------

“There are tulips in the street,
there are tulips in the park.
But nothing compares to our two lips
meeting in the dark”

- pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday
--------------------------------------------------------------

Jeepney Driver: Hoy bakit sais alng ang binayd mo?! Syete na pamasahe ngauon!

Inday: I am currently enrooled in a 2-year vocational course in an academic institution. therefore, I am a student and, by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.

Driver: (nosebleed)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Amo1: Inday ano gamit mo sa katawan?
ang kinis mo eh
Amo2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya?
Amo1: Hmm baka naman kalamansi?
Inday: Nope! only Belo touches my skin,
who touches yours?
-------------------------------------------------

Much as I would want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society’s perception of our profession. we are not here to thrive on humor but rather, we should engage in objective and top of the line service to our designated employers.

- Inday (tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay. Professionalism at its best!)
---------------------------------------------------

“Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!”

- reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia


 am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber. Though the downpour
of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue i have
for you,cannot besimply washed away. The multiplicity of what i feel
for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance.

-Inday, nag eemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si dodong,ang bf nia..
-------------------------------------------------------------
Hell is a place with big houses, luxurious cars, grate tasting dishes and
nonstop parties.
And Heaven?
It’s only a small room with nothing in it…but YOU….

-message ni Inday, para kay dodong sa kanilang 1st monthsary
-------------------------------------------------------------
“If the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their
ages and academic levels, this only lends substance to the
truism that the heart has reasons for its own which reason does
not know.”

sagot ni Inday sa nanay ni dodong na tutol sa kanilang pagmamahalan.


 



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Asa mani nakuha ang Inday jokes? Sige man gud ko kabasa aning thread about Inday

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Ok, sa magazine diay na nakuha.. salamat Aya

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1. Fendi handbag
2. Balenciaga sandals
3. Manolo Blahnik high heels
4. Chanel fur coat
5. iPod video 80gig
6. Motorola Razr dolce & gabbana edition
7. Sony Bravia flatscreen plasma tv
8. Aquamarine diamond wristwatch
9. Louis Vuitton travel bag
10. Obagi system skin care line
11. Shisheido cosmetics
12. 1 week off vacation spree at the Bahamas

- wish list ni Inday for Christmas. Nakadikit sa refrigerator ng amo niya.


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hahaha lingaw ko ani ni Inday da.. galing lang kay makapurdoy ug amo haha, sayunan sa wish list mamahalin jud

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1. rendezvous
2. tete-a-tete
3. renaissance
4. buoyancy
5. queue
6. squeamish
7. impenetrable
8. dachshund
9. brochure
10. brassiere

- Inday habang tinuturuan ang 8-yr old na alaga matuto sa spelling

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basin c inday na kadtong gibugan hahahaha...

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TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I would like to inform
the general public that I am stil ALIVE &KICKING.
Contrary to the text messages that has been
circulated lately. I have already seek legal advice
regarding this rumor and my lawyers are already
preparing legal actions for the perpetrator.
There willbe a bicameral investigationin aid of
legislationregarding this matter.

Sincerely,Inday

(taray talaga ni inday dilang ilong ang duduguin sayo)

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It is in mistakes that we learn how to grow to be better individuals. You may judge me for what you perceive but it is not my mistake that determines who I am, rather, it is what I do to make things right."

- Sabi ni Inday nang makabasag siya ng pinggan



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