Author Topic: 100 year old prostitute still going strong  (Read 2023 times)

hubag bohol

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100 year old prostitute still going strong
« on: January 16, 2012, 06:27:58 PM »
By Tessie Theuma
http://bisserjeta.hsara.com/





Sitting on her plastic-covered scarlet arm-chair in the boudoir of her Gzira home, one would be forgiven for thinking Doris Borg is just a regular sweet old granny. But while she is indeed sweet as kannoli, she also has a more illicit side: she is Malta’s oldest working prostitute.

The silver-haired “anzjana tat-triq“, as she calls herself, celebrated her birthday on January 2, surrounded by prominent politicians, businessmen, lawyers and members of the clergy, all of whom were in costume to protect their identities. “I so enjoyed lapping up their warm greetings,” she beams.

Doris says she has been in the world’s oldest profession ever since she can remember. She comes from a long line of ladies of the night. “My mother was a prostitute, and her mother before her. Her mother was a cloistered nun so I’m not sure what happened there. There hasn’t been a proper male member of the family for generations.”

During her long life, the centenarian has lived through her fair share of momentous events. She has particularly fond memories of World War II. “All those marines,” she says wistfully. “Some historians say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a morale-boosting night with me before they shipped out.”

How has she managed to live for so long? “Well I’m lucky enough to do what I love, even though I don’t love who I do most of the time. I’ve never had a break, except for my hip of course.

“Also, a Ghanaian former witchdoctor once told me his seed had life-giving properties. It appears to have worked.”

Doris admits that due to her advanced age, the market she caters for is somewhat niche.

“For men who are almost into necrophilia but not quite” say her ads on Maltapark. “Oh yes, I’m very web savvy,” she says. “One of my last clients, bless him, was a  shy computer programmer, and he set up a Facebook page for me, which really helps to set up appointments since I can only cover about 30 metres of pavement in a day nowadays, and that’s with my Zimmer frame."

She says advanced age has several advantages. “Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they’re in the same general area.”

Being more than a century old certainly hasn’t diminished her creativity either. “I can do more things with a tire-swing and a rolling pin than you could ever possibly imagine.”

What does she think of her younger counterparts? “Bah, in my day we used to learn everything on the job, if you’ll pardon the pun. Hookers today don’t know they’re born, with their MCAST courses and ETC training schemes.”

Despite the fact that her more glamorous days are arguably behind her, Doris has no intentions of retiring any time soon. “No matter how old I get I won’t stop bending over backwards to make sure my clients are satisfied.”



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hubag bohol

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statesville

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2012, 09:43:10 AM »
Every Christian has GPS -God-Provided Salvation!
It may not guide you to everywhere you want to go in this world, but it will ensure  that you arrive safely in heaven.

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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2012, 11:00:41 AM »
She says advanced age has several advantages. “Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you."

Bwahaha! Di na jud tuod masabod... ;D



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Koddi Prudente

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2012, 04:07:28 PM »
Dili na jud nako ma imagine kon unsay ilang porma sa kama ...


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islander

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2012, 05:41:49 PM »
“Some historians say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a morale-boosting night with me before they shipped out.”

goodness gracious!  paskang...


just a teeny-weeny fraction of the 51st (highland) division.

madame is exaggerating... giango-ango na?  ???

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islander

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2012, 05:45:01 PM »
“For men who are almost into necrophilia but not quite” say her ads on Maltapark.

hahaha!  naa man kahay mga taga-tb ani nga mogimaw...  ;D

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2012, 07:42:32 PM »
Dili na jud nako ma imagine kon unsay ilang porma sa kama ...


Mao ra gud gihapon, medyo gabitay na lang tanan...



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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2012, 07:43:42 PM »
goodness gracious!  paskang...


just a teeny-weeny fraction of the 51st (highland) division.

madame is exaggerating... giango-ango na?  ???

Si Islander baya. Kaya, di ba? ;D



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MikeLigalig.com

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2012, 07:44:03 PM »
Wala nay lana, lunok na lang. :)

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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2012, 07:46:00 PM »
Wala nay lana, lunok na lang. :)

Hmm, mantikaon baya ang lunok, pwede pa-slide nga rocky road... ;D

 

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islander

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2012, 10:57:08 PM »
Si Islander baya. Kaya, di ba? ;D

pikat.  :P

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Republic Act 8485 (Animal Welfare Act of 1998, Philippines), as amended and strengthened by House  Bill 6893 of 2013--- violation means a maximum of P250,000 fine with a corresponding three-year jail term and a minimum of P30,000 fine and six months imprisonment

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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2012, 06:19:16 AM »
pikat.  :P

Wa uroy magtinagawog... ;D



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statesville

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2012, 11:54:30 AM »
[img width= height=]http://moose-wpxy.itmblog.com/files/2009/05/g1.jpg[/img]
  ingon ani ang iyang porma?   :o

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hubag bohol

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Re: 100 year old prostitute still going strong
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2012, 12:39:53 PM »
Wa ba kaha tawon ni kilati...



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