Author Topic: People are lonely... (Read 3924 times)

bol-anon nga cebuano · « **on:** November 15, 2010, 07:50:17 AM »

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luckybelle · « **Reply #1 on:** November 15, 2010, 12:39:44 PM »

Kasi maraming dahilan why walls were build instead of bridges... one of 'em is security....

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #2 on:** November 15, 2010, 12:51:42 PM »

hmmm, one can tackle this in two directions.

(pardon me if i will answer this in a medical point of view, specifically psychiatric analytical point of view)

1. Walls as a defensive coping mechanism, placed in part in a patient's cognitive processes so as to deter past traumatic negative stressors

2. Isolationism , per se, introverted nature as an effect of adult developmental delay or inhibition of sequential steps for proper development of said processes; normalized retrograde development.

Best,
Lorenz

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #3 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:01:42 PM »

There are so many reasons why people build walls instead of bridges. When you are deeply wounded, you prefer to isolate yourself, you shy away from people that connect to the pains and anything that reminds you of that awful feelings are oftentimes shut off from your life.

I for one built walls against my family, owing to the fact that I grew up without them. But, I take care of them (well my money does), however, I refused to let them come into my life entirely. I have set the limitations. My parents don't even know that my marriage was over. It is wrong, but I am more comfortable sharing my problems to my friends than my family. It made me sad at some point but that's is best I believe.

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luckybelle · « **Reply #4 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:04:20 PM »

There are so many reasons why people build walls instead of bridges. When you are deeply wounded, you prefer to isolate yourself, you shy away from people that connect to the pains and anything that reminds you of that awful feelings are oftentimes shut off from your life.

I for one built walls against my family, owing to the fact that I grew up without them. But, I take care of them (well my money does), however, I refused to let them come into my life entirely. I have set the limitations. My parents don't even know that my marriage was over. It is wrong, but I am more comfortable sharing my problems to my friends than my family. It made me sad at some point but that's is best I believe.

Huh! Hala ka, ka-relate jud ko ani vah... swear!
Mas comfortable ko pag ako lay solve-solve sa kadramahan and puzzles of my life.
Hekhek... Ika nga... Smile and the world will smile with you. Cry and cry alone.

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #5 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:09:48 PM »

Huh! Hala ka, ka-relate jud ko ani vah... swear!
Mas comfortable ko pag ako lay solve-solve sa kadramahan and puzzles of my life.
Hekhek... Ika nga... Smile and the world will smile with you. Cry and cry alone.

That is so true Dai Belle, lami man mag-inusara kung naay problema...Lami mohilak sa tago.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #6 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:14:10 PM »

There are so many reasons why people build walls instead of bridges. When you are deeply wounded, you prefer to isolate yourself, you shy away from people that connect to the pains and anything that reminds you of that awful feelings are oftentimes shut off from your life.

I for one built walls against my family, owing to the fact that I grew up without them. But, I take care of them (well my money does), however, I refused to let them come into my life entirely. I have set the limitations. My parents don't even know that my marriage was over. It is wrong, but I am more comfortable sharing my problems to my friends than my family. It made me sad at some point but that's is best I believe.

Interesting. So you have effectively used the 'wall' as a buffer mechanism, wolf. Has your family tried to reach out to you in any way as of late?

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #7 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:16:08 PM »

Huh! Hala ka, ka-relate jud ko ani vah... swear!
Mas comfortable ko pag ako lay solve-solve sa kadramahan and puzzles of my life.
Hekhek... Ika nga... Smile and the world will smile with you. Cry and cry alone.

Luoy pood ka, Belle. Pero okay na ang situwasyon sa imong pamilya karon?

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:22:07 PM »

Interesting. So you have effectively used the 'wall' as a buffer mechanism, wolf. Has your family tried to reach out to you in any way as of late?

No. In fact I have a joke, that my Mom cannot hear very clearly but when I tell her the PIN, she can hear it loud and clear. They followed what I want them to do, that because they are heavily dependent on me on almost everything...I considered that peace offerings.

But, I live a life alone for so long, too late now to go back and be sentimental about it just as when I was 13 years old and growing.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #9 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:25:38 PM »

That must have been very traumatizing, wolf, at such a young age (13 being such a highly sensitive time for a woman, considering the maturation process, and all that entails for a woman). So in part, your friends (close friends, i mean) have effectively taken up the role of parent and close guardian in your life. It must have been hard for you, wolf. Truly, it must have been.

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luckybelle · « **Reply #10 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:27:45 PM »

Luoy pood ka, Belle. Pero okay na ang situwasyon sa imong pamilya karon?

What do you mean? Ya, we're okay.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #11 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:36:30 PM »

In general with dealing with problems alone. Sometimes, it can be hard.

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:37:52 PM »

That must have been very traumatizing, wolf, at such a young age (13 being such a highly sensitive time for a woman, considering the maturation process, and all that entails for a woman). So in part, your friends (close friends, i mean) have effectively taken up the role of parent and close guardian in your life. It must have been hard for you, wolf. Truly, it must have been.

Ohh yeah, rough, but I worked harder to have a good life and worked even harder to be a good person. I experienced one day one eat, and who cares, the world is too busy to notice me.

Struggle is the name-game. But, that does not mean I have a bad life, I have fun as I grew up. I don't regret anything whatsoever.

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luckybelle · « **Reply #13 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:38:21 PM »

That is so true Dai Belle, lami man mag-inusara kung naay problema...Lami mohilak sa tago.

Lagi sa. I tried to reach out to them many times.... hekhek.. but telling them my extras were no-no. My family just don't entertain or support or even tried to eclavush and etchus with pains and the like. They're OK with smiling face not with a problimatic one. They got the skills of talking behind your back and magnifying your weakness. Kaya I don't tell them nalang hekhek...

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #14 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:41:27 PM »

Lagi sa. I tried to reach out to them many times.... hekhek.. but telling them my extras were no-no. My family just don't entertain or support or even tried to eclavush and etchus with pains and the like. They're OK with smiling face not with a problimatic one. They got the skills of talking behind your back and magnifying your weakness. Kaya I don't tell them nalang hekhek...

Tumpak gyud nang imong gihimo, at times of problems we need support dili yaw-yaw or kasaba. Puede ba..............................................

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luckybelle · « **Reply #15 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:42:44 PM »

Mas maproblema ko kung naay mag-apil-apil tsako problema. Mas masulbad nako dali ako problem kung solbaron dajon ug dali, alone. That way wala nay masagad ug magbagotbot. Being discreet and tact.

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luckybelle · « **Reply #16 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:45:31 PM »

Tumpak gyud nang imong gihimo, at times of problems we need support dili yaw-yaw or kasaba. Puede ba..............................................

Hehehe... Correct Ms. Wolfie.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #17 on:** November 15, 2010, 01:51:35 PM »

Ohh yeah, rough, but I worked harder to have a good life and worked even harder to be a good person. I experienced one day one eat, and who cares, the world is too busy to notice me.

Struggle is the name-game. But, that does not mean I have a bad life, I have fun as I grew up. I don't regret anything whatsoever.

Wolf. Sometimes life tends to throw a ball curve our direction, sometimes we fall and have a hard time getting up, sometimes past pains are hard to heal or are constantly in the subconscious and affects actions (and it really does). I in no way am trying to mitigate your personal experiences and am sure it hurt, but i would like to also add that through your efforts in regional build-up, and life sustenance efforts (from reading about your projects and involvement in the grassroots) you have made changes (definitely) for the better and lives were definitely touched through your works.

Please know that you are definitely appreciated, and your experiences are as human as it gets. I hope you are feeling better, wolf.

Keep on smiling.

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 15, 2010, 03:23:54 PM »

Wolf. Sometimes life tends to throw a ball curve our direction, sometimes we fall and have a hard time getting up, sometimes past pains are hard to heal or are constantly in the subconscious and affects actions (and it really does). I in no way am trying to mitigate your personal experiences and am sure it hurt, but i would like to also add that through your efforts in regional build-up, and life sustenance efforts (from reading about your projects and involvement in the grassroots) you have made changes (definitely) for the better and lives were definitely touched through your works.

Please know that you are definitely appreciated, and your experiences are as human as it gets. I hope you are feeling better, wolf.

Keep on smiling.

All my life God is not tired sending me angels, good people that helped me manage life with ease (mind you there are devils too, to test my sanity), now that I am capable, it is now my turn to fulfill God's wishes to do the bright side of life.

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Lorenzo · « **Reply #19 on:** November 15, 2010, 09:42:12 PM »

All my life God is not tired sending me angels, good people that helped me manage life with ease (mind you there are devils too, to test my sanity), now that I am capable, it is now my turn to fulfill God's wishes to do the bright side of life.

maka hinumdum pood ta sa parable of The Lowest Seat when reading your life experiences.

there is a verse in Luke 14:10 that Jesus tells us, "But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes, he may tell you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you."

In this case, Wolf, you are now being told by God to come up. Pariho rapood diay imong experiences ni prophet Job; suffering at first, but because of his faith, God poured Heaven's Graces on him...

God Bless you, Wolf.

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bol-anon nga cebuano · « **Reply #20 on:** November 16, 2010, 01:09:51 AM »

it's ok to isolate yourself from time to time when you got problems. building walls around you is somewhat making you out of reach and doing that is just like you are letting yourself pulling into the bait of loneliness. while building bridges is just like extending and opening other people to lend help. you are giving them the freehand to choose whether to cross the bridge and lend a helping hand or stay where they are.

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #21 on:** November 16, 2010, 09:18:02 AM »

maka hinumdum pood ta sa parable of The Lowest Seat when reading your life experiences.

there is a verse in Luke 14:10 that Jesus tells us, "But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes, he may tell you, â€˜Friend, move up higher.â€™ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you."

In this case, Wolf, you are now being told by God to come up. Pariho rapood diay imong experiences ni prophet Job; suffering at first, but because of his faith, God poured Heaven's Graces on him...

God Bless you, Wolf.

Thank you Lorenz.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #22 on:** November 16, 2010, 09:22:24 AM »

Hmm. Some people are born to be lonely...

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #23 on:** November 16, 2010, 09:27:26 AM »

Kasi maraming dahilan why walls were build instead of bridges... one of 'em is security....

You mean, because wall-builders want to be secure in their loneliness?

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #24 on:** November 16, 2010, 09:28:38 AM »

Hmm. Some people are born to be lonely...

I believe being lonely is a choice.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #25 on:** November 16, 2010, 09:37:56 AM »

There are so many reasons why people build walls instead of bridges. When you are deeply wounded, you prefer to isolate yourself, you shy away from people that connect to the pains and anything that reminds you of that awful feelings are oftentimes shut off from your life.

I for one built walls against my family, owing to the fact that I grew up without them. But, I take care of them (well my money does), however, I refused to let them come into my life entirely. I have set the limitations. My parents don't even know that my marriage was over. It is wrong, but I am more comfortable sharing my problems to my friends than my family. It made me sad at some point but that's is best I believe.

Our way of doing things is determined by the life we happen to have, by the way life happens to us, which more often than not has come about in spite of our earnest wishes and the good intentions of kith and kin. We act as we must and do what we can. As for loneliness, it's always there somewhere ahead of us, lying in ambush like the salmon sky of an indulgent twilight.

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wolfpack823 · « **Reply #26 on:** November 16, 2010, 08:27:14 PM »

Our way of doing things is determined by the life we happen to have, by the way life happens to us, which more often than not has come about in spite of our earnest wishes and the good intentions of kith and kin. We act as we must and do what we can. As for loneliness, it's always there somewhere ahead of us, lying in ambush like the salmon sky of an indulgent twilight.

Precisely. Called it life style or whatever, but reactions to situation is by choice. "Lying in ambush like the salmon sky of an indulgent twilight.", very poetic but, I love how it described the attack of loneliness.

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bol-anon nga cebuano · « **Reply #27 on:** November 17, 2010, 05:41:22 AM »

Lonely people have less activity in a part of the brain that normally lights up in association with reward.

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luckybelle · « **Reply #28 on:** November 17, 2010, 10:26:39 AM »

You mean, because wall-builders want to be secure in their loneliness?

Hehehe... your funny Grandpa Hubag Botoy Goryo. You know what I mean. Para ang nanakit dili na makapasakit that's why walls were build.

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #29 on:** November 17, 2010, 12:36:52 PM »

Hehehe... your funny Grandpa Hubag Botoy Goryo. You know what I mean. Para ang nanakit dili na makapasakit that's why walls were build.

Ah, mao ba? Para diay ang nananakit ang silang masasaktan samakatuwad ang kanilang mga kinumo ang silang mahuhuboy at mapapaksit sa kasusumbag sa pader (dingding, hindi pari)...

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luckybelle · « **Reply #30 on:** November 18, 2010, 08:26:26 AM »

Ah, mao ba? Para diay ang nananakit ang silang masasaktan samakatuwad ang kanilang mga kinumo ang silang mahuhuboy at mapapaksit sa kasusumbag sa pader (dingding, hindi pari)...

Hehehe... emew

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hubag bohol · « **Reply #31 on:** November 19, 2010, 09:04:58 AM »

Hehehe... emew

People are lonely man gud...

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