MikeLigalig.com

Di siguro AGUS-to 

Quote from: bol-anon quo nyur! on February 26, 2011, 12:55:59 AM
dili ka ha PAGUI?

Aaah dia ra!!! Matud pa sa usa ka taga Suba, Anda... ang pangan sa iho nga gagmay didto is LAHOY. Unya nilabog daw ang pinaka dabes nga luto ani 

Sa Huainan City, China, daw ni... duol ni nimo?

Daghang airbags pero naa sa hangin bwahahaha 

Legend has it... "mao bitaw na" 

A 64 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was instantly killed
by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years?
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

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God replied: "Oh s***! I didn't recognize you."  

Nagsa-LIMO-ang lagi 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 26, 2011, 11:52:37 AM
[img]http://www.funcage.com/photos/Giant%20Piano%20Building%20with%20Violin%20stairs.jpg[/img

Love it... ako ni taguan para pohon2x 

I'm reading right now the chemical Properties 

Power Rangers and Power Brokers 

Engkwentro sa 2 ka LECHON KAWALI... ngigngig pod kaau 

Kani ngigngig sad nga engkwentro 


Photo courtesy of Dr. Retti

Kadtong nilutuan nga mogamit ug coconut oil NILABOG diay ang pangan... sori kay nag blockout ang apapangig hahahaha 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 25, 2011, 01:10:39 PM
Hmm. Pating?

Dili. Lumad nga Binol-anon jud 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 25, 2011, 12:54:23 PM
Fr. Roel, is that the bol-anon word for sharks? "Ijong"?

Correction: IHO

They have a particular term for it (small shark) in Anda but I don't remember. Calling Scarbz... she knows that hunasan well. 

Quote from: TUBAGBOHOL.com on February 25, 2011, 12:22:22 PM

In his ruling, which he took 45 minutes to read, Wan Chai District Court Judge Joseph Yau said the prison term should be at least two years and six months but he decided to give a “discount” by giving credit to the congressman’s guilty plea, his “positive character,” his clear criminal record, and his being a member of the House of Representatives.

Na swertian kay gitagaan ug "discount" otherwise basin death penalty unta to. Powerful and filthy rich kaayog amahan... it was more than a bargain I'm pretty sure 

Sa Anda ko nakakaog IHOng gagmay (sharks) almost every afternoon in the year 1980. Fishermen used to give them away and just leave them on the shore for people to pick up when they come back to the mainland. Kalimot kos tawag nila but it tastes good with coconut milk  

The thread or topic is purely misleading because Anda is far from being "the only" town nga walay asenso as the title suggests. The photos and videos I posted contradict this perception or assumption, no matter how minimal the town's progress is and/or its activities.

Somewhere I read the BIBLE as Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth 

Yes, it seems like it's the only place in the Philippines that feels like you're in Colorado or Europe during summertime hehehehe. 

Candy mana nga morag bolitas pink color. Nahurot na mao nga nag duko2x sila nangita basin naay nahug sa sawoooog... 

Ngano kaha nga wala namay uli2x sa Antequera since 1994... naminyo, giminom, way plete, layuan o wa na ganahi mouli? Ngano kaha... 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 22, 2011, 06:01:51 PM
Sa contest proper, kissing ra. The sex part can be arranged later. 

Hmmmm bantog ra daghang OFW nagpabilin sa China jok jok jok 

Asa man nibantang ang tinuod nga mga mekaniko bwahahahaha!!! 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 22, 2011, 11:21:16 PM
You are welcome. You have any more?

There are too many I've forgotten to count them already.... but it don't pour like rain either in terms of recording them you know. Like the saying goes, "Dahan-dahan lang, mahina ang kalaban." If you stay longer at TB, you'll get to hear them eventually hahahaha

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 22, 2011, 11:22:25 PM
Tugnaw diay sa Tagaytay, Fr. Roel? Oh so many places in the Philippines that I have never visited.

Back in the days (80's) it was cool on ordinary days because of its high altitude  but then it was still considered a pretty remote place, unlike Baguio. From the way it looks now it's densely populated and you know what that means: more people fighting for the limited oxygen hahahaha 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 22, 2011, 11:34:24 PM
Your request is noted, Raquel. I will include Reyes' family as well as Reyes himself in my prayers. Thank  You for your honest and heartfelt request. I am touched.

Are you really having a change of heart, Bro Enz? Have you been touched that deeply by Raquel's heartfelt request, i.e., to pray for Angelo Reyes' soul and all the souls in purgatory? If so, then in your heart you don't really believe AR was assigned/chastised to the fires of hell, do you? Then, stay that way (do not be stubborn). We need to dispel your fear: nobody ever said that suicide or self-muder is morally right but for reasons beyond our human understanding (absolute kind) there are people who still commit such. And yet, for those who do, leave the judgment to God who is God and who is the JUDGE, not us, you or anybody else. If you can maintain such humility and self-sacrifice (self-emptying vs your deceptive feeling), people might stop barraging you with "piko," "lansang," "maso," "martilyo," "kutsilyo," "baki nga pistolero," "catmandu samurai" etc. 

Just saw I AM NUMBER FOUR tonight... wew, watta movie  

You could be the most eloquent of speaker in all the world and are able to quote Bible passages verbatim right off the top... but without a heart, hmmmmm  

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 22, 2011, 12:50:08 PM
Can I borrow this, Fr. Chic? Himoon nakong avatar diris TB kon nagbakasyon ko.

Yup you can have it... it belongs to the Frog World and the Catmandu Community 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 22, 2011, 10:01:00 AM
Bwahaha! Asa kaha pud siya nato pabahasbahason? Sa Tagbi? 

Aw! Di na lang diay sa habal-habal. Adto na lang ihikot sa parola!!! 

Angay ni siya pasakyon ug habal-habal unya himoong tourist attraction model

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree?"

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree.

He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens fire, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tre!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... What ees it?"

"Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush!!!" 

Thank you, Bran 

Practice makes perfect...

Quote from: islander on February 22, 2011, 02:35:27 AM


islander (or is this her twin?)

Peace, my sister!!! 

On the other hand I'm glad it's only instrumental

Oh nooooooo.... please nooooooooooo. I just finished writing a song with this title. I didn't realize there's already a song with this title. Oh well...

Quote from: islander on February 22, 2011, 02:28:22 AM
sugot ko.  karong holy week lang ha?

Kahibaw na diay kas imong puasa this Lent 2011 hehehehe  

Tubag Bohol: Mag alsa (ug magpalupad) sa silhig ni BQN  

That's what happens when you take a double major, you become a major pain; double-vision in the least 

Oh, how I'm glad to be a Colonel!!!    (nag du-ay)

General (Anesthetics), where art thou?

Quote from: bol-anon quo nyur! on February 22, 2011, 01:24:53 AM
Calling father ChiCOGON!!! We need your holy Water!!!

I must be dreaming!!! I thought I died and went to H--L!!! (ni jumped na baya kos cliff sa akong earlier post kay hopeless case naman ning usa deri tawon). I thought Lorenz said, "I rest my case." Dili man diay I REST MY CASE, HOPELESS CASE man diay 

Tinuod diay jud nga napuno ning akong INBOX aning kukabildo sa duha nga morag iring ug iro (circa Cat Lady vs. Irong Bungoton). 

Calling all CATS and FROGS!!! Heeeeeelp!!!

Quote from: islander on February 21, 2011, 03:21:15 PM
ganahan lagi ko fr chic nga si lorenz si santino ug ako si inday luci.

You still feel that way right now? I can't even put both of you in one cubicle at not fight!!! 

Asa ba tong 2H20 nako? Kung manginahanglan ta di makita, kung dili naa ra ga patara ahihihi... 

To Anne Mariquit Derikito-Oppus (Tagbilaran City Coucilor) and Rian Borja-Hauser

This is a song written in 1983 when I was still a student in Tagaytay City, when a group of friends from Tagbilaran (Cecil "Umbas" Pamaong, Bebot Galinato, Rian Borja, Mariquit Derikito) paid a little visit, braving the cold weather that Tagaytay is known for. We spent the night in a tent camp over-looking the famous Taal Lake enjoying each other's company, "pakatok" and I'm sure quite a few booze. As it is, 'twas part of the good ol' days    

Song of Confidence, Dedication & Warning


SONG OF CONFIDENCE, DEDICATION & WARNING

Performed by Romeo Mascariñas a.k.a. Kenny Rogers, Jr.  

1
I write this song for you to know I care
It’s simple but it’s heart’ly dedicated
To both of you, you know
I’ll sing it even though the night is cold.

2
I want you sing this song and follow me
Up where the moon and stars, and midnight dream
You swear you’ll be good girls
And keep as secrets all that I have shared.

Chorus:
La la la la…
La la la la…
La la la la…
La la la la la la.

3
Hello, Rian, you’re one
Marikit, you, too, I have to warn
This song is simple but it’s “hit & run”
You’ve got to tell no one I am the man.

Bridge:
I know it isn’t easy to make some fun
The more it isn’t easy to be a nun
Somehow, somewhere or when
Just sing it “sprinkling can.”
Don’t criticize what you don’t understand.

(Repeat 3)

4
I do write songs coz I’m a lonely man
Do write me letters if you understand
For you to know I’m one
Who always place myself at your command

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Coda:
Hmmm...

Copyright © 1983 Fro’s Music
All Rights Reserved

Paniudto at Golden Dragon Buffet: yellowfin tuna sashimi, talapia, california roll, egg drop soup, sauteed broccoli, salmon sushi, cheesed mussel... and unsweetened ice tea 

Panihapon: crushed avocado & banana with milk and artificial sweetener

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Dunay gipaabot deris taas si Santino ug Inday Luci nga ipasara daw karyo - temporarily ra god - ang impyerno kay maghimo pa daw silag dugang cubicles didto para sa mga naghikog. Nakabati daw sila sa panaglantugi sa Tubag Bohol nga madugangan sila didto... no vacancy pa daw karon. Kinsa tong naghikog from 1988 - present, dili pa pwede dawaton didto kay medyo taas2x pa daw backlog. Lupig pay backlog sa U.S. immigration bwahahahaha 

Matud pa ni Inday Luci, sa nakasabot lang..... 

I rest my case. Now I know why some people go on despair and some even to the point of jumping onto the cliff. Care to join me? LoL 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 20, 2011, 04:30:20 AM
Bitaw, parehas man ta sa atong attitude diri ba, mag-serious lang kon mapiit...  

Morag iring... mopyaet lang kung maipit.  

Apan sa panahon sa linaw, kamolog harana ug togtog sa musika sa kasadya...

Si Gracia ga una2x aning Fr. Chic...

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 04:14:47 AM
No one is God but God, Nong. Correctohon lang ka nako in case your mind is a bit off.

No you are not like Fr. Roel. That is true.

Back to the topic.

If you call me Chic and him Hubag, then maybe we're one and the same. 

Hubagang Chic woi!!! 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 20, 2011, 04:06:49 AM
I'm not even a tiny portion of who Fr. Chic is.

Ssssh. Pasanginlan na sad ko ay. I don't claim to be somebody (maybe a some "body" for I never stop to expand) nor a nobody. I'm ChicogoN. No more, no less. Who started this Fr. Chic? 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 03:32:06 AM
You are right. I will acquiesce to this. I have been soundly corrected.

Thank you. The next time you decide to go back UP again to enjoy mountaineering, please bring us along. While misery loves company, so do adventure and enlightenment!!! Let's bring the Dalai Lama along!!! 

Quote from: TUBAGBOHOL.com on February 20, 2011, 03:10:13 AM
Estorya-estorya lang gud ta. Magbayloay sa mga huna-huna ug pangindahay. Bisan ug usahay managlahi ang atong gituohan, ipabilin gihapon ang atong pagkamanaghigalaay.

Mahitungod sa kaso ni Angelo Reyes, murag lisud e-conclude kung asa siya ibutang sa Ginoo kay we are mere mortals and creations of God. Dili pud ko makaingon gani nga mahilangit si Dr. Jose Rizal. Dili pud ko makaingon nga ma-impyerno si Hitler. Adto na ni nato mahibaloan sa gitawag ug "Day of Judgment" when God will exercise His authority as the one and only Judge.

Pero kabahin sa kaluwasan, adunay assurance nga gihatag ang Ginoo. Ato ning mahinuktokan sa dihang miingon si Jesus sa usa ka ka-watan (kadtong ka-watan nga mituo ni Jesus) gilansang tupad sa Iyang kilid didto sa krus sa Kalbaryo: "And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise." (King James Version)

Sa Bisaya miingon si Jesus: "Sa pagkatinuod, sa pagkatinuod, magaingon ako kanimo, karong adlawa mahiuban ka nako ngadto sa paraiso."

Buhi pa ang maong tawo ug aduna na siyay kasigurohan sa kaluwasan.

Pero mahitungod sa pagkalaglag sa kalag ngadto sa impyerno, kitang tawo dili ta katugkad sa huna-huna sa Ginoo. Kay Siya man ang naay gitawag ug "final say." Ug Siya lang pud ang makakita sa kasing-kasing sa tawo.

Kitang tawo, ang atong makita puro external. Ang Ginoo ang Iyang makita tanan: external ug internal. Mao sa John 21:22, natunok si Peter sa gitubag sa Ginoo. Daghan na to ug sala si Judas, ang pinakagrabe ang pagbudhi ug paghikog. Apan bisan pa man niining tanan, miingon si Jesus sa pinolosopo pa nga estorya sa bag-ong panahon:

"Kung mahilangit o ma-impyerno si Judas, unsay may imong labot Pedro? Ako ang magbuot. Ang mahinungdanon nga mosunod ka nako ug sa akong mga sugo." - John 21:22

Amen!!! 

Kadugayan moluhod na jud ko ani kay magsige na lang tag ingon ug "amen."

It's good to admit sa atong pagka tawhanon and dare not tread on something which has not been assigned to us.

"For fools rush in where angels fear to tread"

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 02:54:32 AM
Hahaha ajaw pood, Fr. Roel. Ajaw ko sakita ba. Instead of punching, just hug me lang ha.

I will hug and "amen" you when you get down from that pedestal. Misery loves company. And it's hot in here, boy. Come down and join the madla!!! 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 02:46:06 AM
To all whom I may have indirectly offended, or hurt in this thread, please know that it was not deliberate, nor intentional. But meant to state a point on accountability.

Please know there are no hard feelings. We are all exchanging ideas and thoughts. Despite the differences (just keep it civil lang sometimes, not under the belt punching. lol) 

Love You All,
Bran Lorenz.

This is like a boxing match. You're tall (and your reasoning is on a pedestal), so I'm punching you below the belt, bwahahahaha!!! 

Enz, you sounded like a remnant of the Inquisition... you think like 'em, according to the letter of the law. Oh, well (again) 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 02:36:31 AM
The Sin against the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin. Suicide denies the Holy Spirit's presence in one's life. It denies the Holy Spirit's ability to counsel you and to strengthen you.

Maybe you're right and we're wrong. Oh well... May God have mercy on our souls!!! 

Quote from: TUBAGBOHOL.com on February 20, 2011, 02:32:49 AM
Naa bitaw sa Gospel of John akong gikalibgan kay si Pedro nangutana ni Jesus kung unsay linugdangan sa paghikog ni Judas.

When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?" Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" (John 21:22).

Sa Bisaya nga Bible translation: "Kung ako siyang buhion hangtud sa akong pagbalik, unsa may imong labot?"

Sa laing nga pulong, miingon si Jesus ni Peter: "None of your business, Peter. Follow me."

Ang giingon sa Bible, there is only one sin that cannot be forgiven, that is the sin against the Holy Spirit. Based sa context sa Gospel when Jesus said about this topic, the sin against the Holy Spirit may be committed when there is a work of the Holy Spirit and a man or woman attributes it as a work of the devil. This is what I understand sa mga nadungog nga preaching sa mga pastor ug sa mga Christian books nga akong nabasa.

Bwahahaha!!! Nakatawa kos dagan sa imong istorya but you drive home your point very clearly. I agree. I love it. I hope nobody will condemn us sa atong panabot hehehehe 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 02:01:31 AM
This is true. Salvation is constant progress. There is a verse from Philippians that says, 'One must work one's own salvation'. I am very hurt by Reyes actions. Most specifically his friends , family, loved ones.

I do pray that God was merciful and righteous in judgement. Pero, it is clear what Revelation says.

It was only recently that the Catholic Church implemented ammendments on suicides. But before these ammendments, Pre-Vatican II thought was constant in the teaching that suicides were destined to perdition.

Are you telling me now you're bigger than the Church? If the Church has changed or made amendments, or has gone a little compassionate in their approach and understanding of Christ's teachings/commands or that of the early Church (that was still developing anyway), then who are we to insist otherwise? Hmmmm... you mean, you choose what suits your personality or viewpoint?  Or somebody else's understanding?

You have to ask what you yourself believe!!!

How good God is to you?

Ask the very question Jesus asked his disciples? Who do you say that I am?

Then that is the God who will be to you, in the least...

Install mIRC. Add #Bohol and other Boholano channels. TB is good too but you can't chat here like they do in other forums. I'm sure there are many...  Welcome to Bohol... soon!!!

So hypocricy is always on somebody else... and so does condemnation?!! Never us, never you, never I. Wow naman...

So too our reading (or quotations) of Scripture truths (passages), they always adress somebody else but never self... aguy!!!

How about this passage  from John 3:17, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

Do you really think Angelo Reyes' taking of his own life (and others) can alter God's plan for the world and all her subjects? Do you really believe they are BIG enough to change the course of God's economic plan of salvation or would you retort again to Scripture passage where you will claim (again), "I'm only reiterating Revelation or what-have-you?" You mean you're a "Sola Scriptura-kinda guy? You better check your Catholicity!!! 

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 20, 2011, 01:13:34 AM
It is clear what revelation says about unrepentant murderers. I did not say this, I am merely repeating the verse from Revelations.

So am I from Luke 6:37, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 19, 2011, 07:09:01 PM
Kini siya, one wife ra jud tingali kay niabot mag katiguwang...

"Kiss ko beh, wa bitaw imo Misis!!!" 

Paniudto: Lamb Roast

Panihapon: Tinowa nga yellow fin tuna (leftover) ug kinilaw nga tuna (newly prepped) 

The Cajuns are famous for their food and spicy almost everything


New Orleans Cajun Justin Wilson - Dirty Rice

Here's how a Cajun sounds...


New Orleans Cajun, Justin Wilson - Boys First Hunt

SHRIMPING WITH BOUDREAUX AND THIBODEAUX


Shrimping with Boudreaux and Thibodeaux

Two Cajun boys called Pierre and Boudreaux found themselves out of a job when the underwear factory in Port Barre shut down.
So their boss said they should go to the Louisiana State Unemployment Office (LSU) to get some money from the State while they were looking for work. So Pierre and Boudreaux went to the LSU office.

Boudreaux was interviewed first.

"What was your former occupation?" asked the Unemployment lady.

"Me, I was a crotch stitcher. I specialised in ladies underpants," Boudreaux replied proudly.

The lady looked it up in her big book and said, "OK, you're eligible for $50 a week."

"You mean I don't gotta do nothin' and I kin get $50 a week. Man, dats betta den crawfishin'!" Boudreaux exclaimed.

The lady ignored him and asked Pierre the same question.

Pierre looked her straight in the eye and said, "I was one a dem diesel fitters."

She looked it up in her big book again and said: "OK then, you're eligible for $200 a week in unemployment benefits."

"Wait a minute!" Boudreaux shouted. "Mais, how come Pierre gets $200 a week, and me, I only get fifty bucks? I tole you I used to be a crotch stitcher; you know you gotta be real good to do dat kind of work so de seams are all nice an straight an smooth so nutting scratches de lady. An Pierre here, he's only a diesel fitter. And he's gonna make at least twice more dan me?!"

"Oh," the replied the lady, "but he's a skilled labourer with an education. Diesel fitters are in high demand, especially by oil companies. There's not many diesel specialists around."

"Whoa, whoa, lady," Boudreaux continued, "you got dat all wrong. Yeah, Pierre's a diesel fitter, all right. But what dat means is dat after I do all de fine work on de lady drawers, he picks dem up, looks 'em over and stretches dem dis way and dat, and den says,
'Yep, dees’ll fit her!'" 

Quote from: islander on February 18, 2011, 04:35:36 PM
paapila si bourdeaux dinhi sa tb fr chic, bi.  haraw silingan unta mo.  angayan gyod siya dinhi.

Naa na bitaw...

Boudreaux a.k.a. Bay Hubs

Thibodeaux a.k.a. Bay Bugs

Guidry a.k.a. Bay Vits

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 18, 2011, 05:34:37 PM
Hmm, ang inyong silingang iring nga nisulod sa imong kwarto, Fr. Chic?  

Kusog baya na siya magpagilok sa ubos... kusog mag iring-iring  

Boudreaux decided to go play a game of golf with his good friends Thibodeaux and Guidry one morning. He promised Clotile that he would be home in time for lunch.

Well, lunchtime came and went, and no Boudreaux. Mid afternoon came and went, still no Boudreaux. Suppertime passed, and Boudreaux finally shows up about an hour later. Clotile is, of course, just a little bit mad.

"Boudreaux, where have you been ? You say you gonna be home by lunch, and here it is dark time, and you jus now gettin' home!"

Boudreaux says, "Clotile, don' get on my case. My good fren, Guidry, died on de golf course dis morning."

Clotile says, "Oh, Boudreaux, I'm so sorry. I can understan' now; makin' funeral arrangements for your fren, and all.
I understan' why you late."

Boudreaux says, "Funeral arrangements. What funeral arrangements? It was 'Hit de ball, drag Guidry. Hit de ball, drag Guidry.
It took me and Thibodeaux all day to finish the game!" 

One day, Boudreaux and Clotile were riding their boat at Bayou Benoit when they hit a sunken log and the boat overturned. Clotile didn't have a life jacket on, and she drowned. The sheriff and a bunch of neighbors came by to try to find her, but they didn't have any luck. A week passed and Thibodeaux knocked on Boudreaux's front door.

"Boudreaux, I have some good news and some bad news for you."

"Give me the bad news first."

"Well, the bad news is that we found Clotile. She drowned. We so sorry for you."

"Well go on, what is the good news?"

"The good new is... when we pull her up, we fill two sacks of big blue point crab."

"Mais, where you put her body?"

"Well, Boudreaux. De first time we did so good with the crabs, we decided to leave her in the water one more day." 

PARROT

Thibodeaux: Boudreaux, did you get the parrot I sent you for your birthday?

Boudreaux: Yes, it was good!

Thibodeaux: You ate the bird?!!

Boudreaux: Of Course I ate it.

Thibodeaux: That bird spoke five different languages!

Boudreaux: Then he should have said something.

Quibodeaux, Thibodeaux and Boudreaux were sitting in a boat on a very cloudy day fishing. They had been fishing a good while when the sky suddenly opened up just above them and a ray of light shined down directly on the front of the boat. It spooked them and they started to get nervous. All of a sudden, they heard a voice from up above. "This is the Lord."

They all looked at one another and begin saying, "I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing."

The Lord said, "Don't get nervous. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, I only want to grant each of you one healing wish."

They all calmed down and Quibodeaux stood up in the boat. "As you already know Lord, I've been having this crick in the back of my neck for the past ten years and if you were to grant me a healing wish, that would be it."

The Lord waved his hand and Quibodeaux started moving his neck freely.

"Mais, that feels good. Thank you Lord, thank you," and he sat down.

Thibodeaux stood up next. "You know Lord, that bum leg I've been having for the past fifteen years, you know how bad I limp, if you were to grant me one wish, that would be it."

The Lord waved his hand and Thibodeaux immediately felt the limp leave his leg. "Oh thank you Lord, oh thank you, thank you."

Before Thibodeaux could sit down, there was a big splash behind the boat. Both Quibodeaux and Thibodeaux looked behind themselves and see Boudreaux swimming away from the boat as fast as he could. Thibodeaux shouted, "Boudreaux, where you going? The Lord is not here to pass judgment on you, he's here to grant you a healing wish. You know that bad back of yours, he can heal it for you right here and now."

Boudreaux hollered back, not missing a swim stride, "No, no, I don't want the Lord to heal me, I'll lose my disability check.

BOUDREAUX AT THE PEARLY GATES

Old Boudreaux died and went to the pearly gates. St. PeteR was just waiting for him to get there. When they met up, St. Peter said, "Whoa, Boudreaux, I can't let you pass through the gates until you answer three questions."

Old educated Boudreaux say, "Go ahead, St. Pete, give me your best shot,"

St. Pete say, "O.K., Boudreaux, question number one. How many seconds do they have in a year?"

Boudreaux say, "Aw, that's easy, St. Pete, twelve."

St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, how did you get twelve?"

Boudreaux say, "Jan second, Feb second, etc."

St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for, but I'll let you slide. Question number two. How many days do they have in a week?"

Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete, two."

St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, where you get two from?"

Boudreaux say, "Today and tomorrow."

St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for. Now Boudreaux, this last question you have to get it right or I can't let you into heaven. Who is our father?"

Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete, Howard."

St. Pete say, "Where did you get Howard from, Boudreaux?"

"Our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name..."

Boudreaux was lying on his death bed. The doctor had already told him that he surely wouldn't live for another week. Suddenly,
and much to Boudreaux's glee, a wonderful aroma hit Boudreaux like a tidal wave. He knew that the smell meant only one thing -
his wife had just made a pot of gumbo.

Boudreaux wanted a bowl so badly, but he was no longer able to walk, so he crawled out of his bed and into the kitchen.
Just as Boudreaux was reaching for the pot, his wife barked out, "Boudreaux! Shame on you! You know that gumbo is going to be for the funeral." 

Thibodeaux was driving down the road one day when he saw a beautiful woman standing in the middle of it. Thibodeaux hit the brakes and asked the woman, "What's wrong Miss?"

The lady explained, "My life is over. Nobody cares about me. I want it all to end, so I'm just praying that someone will run over me on this road."

Thibodeaux begged her, "No Miss. Please don't do that. You are beautiful, obviously smart, and you have a full life ahead of you. I'll tell you what. Jump in my truck and I will sneak you onto the boat I am working on. We are heading to France, so you can hide during the journey and we will slip off together in Europe and live a wonderful life."

The lady agreed, and Thibodeaux snuck her onto the boat as promised. For over three weeks, he fed her three meals a day, brought her water, and romanced her in the life boat after the crew went to bed.

Eventually, the captain of the ship caught the lady and asked her, "Miss, why are you hiding down in that cabin?"

The lady explained, "I'm so sorry. One of your crew, Thibodeaux, has been hiding me here, feeding me, and romancing me at night on this whole journey to France."

The captain giggled and told her, "No, no. We're not on our way to France. This is just the Chalmette ferry!"

BOUDREAUX DECLARES WAR ON OBAMA

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama " a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Boudreaux, down here at the Joe's Crab Shack, Acadia Parish, Louisiana. I am callin' to tell y’all dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"   

"Well Boudreaux," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!  How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Boudreaux, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Pierre, my next-door-neighbor Francois, and the whole Evangeline hunt club. That makes eleven!"   

Barack paused. "I must tell you Boudreaux that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."   

"No for sure!" said Boudreaux. "I'll have ta call back at ya!"

Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again.

"Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have done acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Boudreaux?" Barack asked. 

"Well cher, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Francois's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."   

"Lord above", said Boudreaux, "I'll for sure be getting back to ya."   

Sure enough, Boudreaux rang again the next day.

"President Obama, the war is still on! We have done managed to go git ourselves airborne! We for sure up an' modified Pierre's ultra-light with a jess a few shotgun in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have done come and joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Boudreaux that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.  My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Oh Lord," said Boudreaux, "for sure I'll have to call back at you."   

Sure enough, Boudreaux called again the next day.

"President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have done had to call off dat war what we was talking bout."   

"I'm not surprised to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"   

Well, cher," said Boudreaux, "we've all done sat down and had a long chat over some crawfish and beers, and we done come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners." 

COONASS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

Gilok akong panga karon 

CAJUN FUNERAL

Three friends from Church Point, Louisiana were asked, "When you in your casket, and your friends and church members are mourning over you, what would you like dem to say?"

Thibodeaux said: "I would like dem to say, I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Fontenot commented: "I would like dem to say, I was a wonderful teacher, and servant of da church, who made a huge difference in
people's lives." 

Boudreaux said: "I'd like dem to say, 'Look, he's movin!'" 

Boudreaux was turning 75 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When Boudreaux returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!

"Wow, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Boudreaux nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day."

"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

Hell no, it wuz from all dat damn skippin! 

Amo ma ning silingan ba... ang iring ba 

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking dem bud-lite.

Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says, 'You know me, I'm tired of going tru life without dat education.  Tomorrow me I'm goin to dat Community College and sign me up for some classes.'

Thibodeaux thinks it's a good idea and the two have another bud-lite.

The next day, Boudreaux goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Boudreaux says. 'What's dat Hun?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example.  Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'Dat's right, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says.

'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Mais Yeh, I got me a house dare.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Mais Yeh dats right too, I have a family.

'I'm not done yet.  

Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.  

And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. Dat's amazing, you were able to find all dat out because I got DA weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Boudreaux shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Thibodeaux at the bar.  

He tells Thibodeaux about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?  ' Thibodeaux says, 'What's dat?'

Boudreaux says, 'I'll give you an example.  Do you have a weed eater?'

'No.'

'Den you're a queer.'  

Gimingaw kos balut pero dili pa pwede nig mga itloga. Penoy ug omelet ray na dali2x 

Duha ka bata nag kontes ug hinambogay:

Juanito: Grabe akong papa ga harvest og kamote nga kinampay morag gidak-on ug volkswagen. 3 iyang ge harbis!!!

Pedrito: Ako papa jud ga tak-ang ug ininit tubig, iyang kaldero gigamit morag gidak-on ug Governor's Mansion sa Bohol

Juanito: Diha! Dakoa pod nang kalderoha mora mag Mansion. Do ko motoo woi!!!

Pedrito: Tinuod lagi. Kung di pa tinood, asa man lutuon nang kinampay nga ge harbis sa imong papa nga mora gidak-on ug volkswaven?

Kaning kang Ms Isle maoy "ex cathedra" nga morag hongihong ug lanog gikan sa St. Joseph Cathedral. Ang kang Brother Enz is "ex birhen" (cuddling only) kilid sa Birheng Sang Barangay Sa Cogon 

"Bato2x sa langit ang tamaan huwag magalit..."

OK. Let's think for a moment, ENZ. Earlier, you said...

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 14, 2011, 11:15:13 PM
I am sorry Mr. Reyes, but you cannot escape The Final Judge and His Judgment

Suicide is an unpardonable Sin. His soul is now burning in eternal fires of hell.

And then later you said...

Quote from: Lorenzo on February 17, 2011, 01:36:05 AM
I will pray that God was merciful to Mr. Reyes. One can only hope for the saving grace of God--who searches all souls and sees truths behind lies.

I pray that God was merciful to him.

Isn't that a little too late... to be praying for his salvation if you truly believed he was already condemned to the fiery gehenna?

And so we wonder... big time

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 17, 2011, 09:20:47 AM
Hmm, dili pa diay ni final and executory? Madala pag hilot?  

Dili pa pero pagbantay kay ilawog kas tirong inig abot didto sa tumoy!!! Bwahahaha!!!  

And yet...

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 17, 2011, 05:02:00 PM
Hmm. Spoken ex cathedra...

But...

Quote from: islander on February 17, 2011, 11:19:20 PM
with a twist, because it looks like it's spoken from a barber's chair.

Or could it be from his throne?  




Nag conference call pag animal!!! 

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on February 17, 2011, 11:15:21 PM

Example Ako,si Botoy ug si Padre magdungan ug kamatay. Unya moingon ang Ginoo  Hubag Bohol ikaw kay himajehon man ka dapat purgahon ka ug 15 ka tuig, Ikaw Dre ug Raquel purgahon mo dapat ug 25 ka tuig. Mangutana pa ba mi ni Padre sa Ginoo nganong taasa among tuig?

Aguuuy!!! Exampol man jud... basin matinuod ha? Kung matinuod, simbako, basin gam-an sad ko ninyog thread nga "unpardonable sins" ha? Tsk tsk tsk 

Turnover Ceremony: Little Kaykay Bourlet and Hunter Panks turnig over the eggs to their rightful
"eater"

Up close and personal... ITLOG are the best!!!

"Balut... balut penoy"

"Kaon mo bas-oy kay mas lamian... morag nanokos ug pyesta!!!"

"Eat more beef or karnenorte..."

Every other week kining pamilyaha ila kong tagaag itlog nga presko kay nagbuhi silag manok sa ilaha, morag
sila Day Raquel hehehehe. Here with little Kay-kay Bourlet and Hunter Panks

Nagluto kog balut gahapon ug pipila ka itlog ug "Amerkanong" (dili Bisaya) manok, bwahahaha!!! 

That doesn't change the way I like you as a friend and the "gentle" (Oat) Bran I met and come to know bwahahaha... but you scare the "hell" out of me. Kung "heaven" pa lang unta, you would have tamed me all the more. 

Quote from: hubag bohol on February 17, 2011, 09:20:47 AM
Hmm, dili pa diay ni final and executory? Madala pag hilot? 

Dili pa pero pagbantay kay ilawog kas tirong inig abot didto sa tumoy!!! Bwahahaha!!! 

I'm glad the brother Enz I know is but a Tubag Bohol member and a brazen Catholic defender wannabe, and not heaven or hell's gatekeeper because you really scare the s*** out of me     

QuoteFor God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (Jn 3:17)

Aw, naa diay fee ning magkubot ug Champion's Belt hehehehe... ilaon na lang na, ato na lang e-inum ug bahalina nang dapat ibayad 

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on February 16, 2011, 11:25:11 AM
Only God know's what happen to Mr. Angelo Reyes who knows before the bullet hit him he actually have conversation with God and repent his sin.  So it is very uncharitable for all of us to judge him nga tua naa siya sa Hell. We can never know the mind of another person, or the state of their soul. That is known to God alone.
Ang Ginoo ray nasayod.God may still have forgiven him because his love and compassion are endless and we have no idea to the extent of Gods power is..

The tiniest gesture of faith can save a person. A man who embraces a crucifix on his deathbed can gain the kingdom of God. Once a woman told St. John Vianney that she was devastated because her husband had committed suicide. In a moment of mystical insight that only a great saint can receive, John Vianney exclaimed, "He is saved!" The woman was incredulous so the saint repeated, stressing each word, "I tell you he is saved. He is in Purgatory, and you must pray for him. Between the parapet of the bridge and the water he had time to make an act of contrition."*

God can save a person in an instance - by a single act of faith.

Mao nay saktong Kristiyano... he/she knows he/she is not God!!!  Morag si San Juan Bautista!!! 

Kami pod... sa mga badlongon  

Beautiful Brazilian Models... nagpaabot kaninyo sa kanunay