MikeLigalig.com

Quote from: bol-anon nga cebuano on October 29, 2010, 01:22:30 AM
mao na ang panahona nga mahugyaw ang tanan sa men's comfort kay ma caughted ug ma owned sila ni darna.

Basin moadto si Darna sa men's comfort room dili tungod kay mogamit kon dili tungod kay magpagamit... 

Quote from: bugsay on October 29, 2010, 12:48:44 PM
unahan sa among Hacienda de Yasgub makita ang harianong mansion ni Hubag.

Hubag nga taga Dimiao
nagpuyo intawon sa payao,
dili sama ni Yasgub nga lapad ang hacienda
sa Valencia.

Quote from: islander on October 29, 2010, 09:53:30 AM
hehe, taas ra gyod kog appeal.  appeal sa kite festival, appeal pod sa bad poets society.  could i ask for anything more?

Bad Readers Society na lang ko apil... 

Quote from: luckybelle on October 29, 2010, 11:37:26 AM
Usa ka kuding si bay Hubs na nangayo ug kapasayloan... kang kinsa kaha ni sija nangayo ug pasaylo?

Pasaylo ang gipangayo mao nga kon tugotan pwede mosaylo hangtod sa layong unahan... 

Naa diay ni? Wa na man ko kaabot ani nga idiom... 

Dili kaha "dulot sa ukog"? 

Wa ra bay pili ning unggoy...


http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102009/1256407322_monkey_humping_a_goat.gif

Bwahaha! Kaluoy, nalibat intawon ang akong paryente! 

Quote from: BolBuhol on October 29, 2010, 12:27:17 AM
indi gid pude sir hubag bohol antik gid ini sing darna mats mats mo mang bwahahahahaa...

Mao gid man sugar mommy mo kay antik gid bla. Kung sa akon, abaw, sugar sister na ini haw. 

Quote from: vrglguapo on October 29, 2010, 01:01:06 AM
I am a late bloomer so i save my first one million pesos when i was 50 years old...

Savings? That's great. Segurado ko nga naay daghan nga naka-earn na og millions over the course of many years pero nahurot ra pud og gasto. 

How to Write Bad Poetry


Say not that you are bad at writing good poetry,
Say instead that you are good at writing bad poetry.


Ah poetry! To some it is the food of love, to others, a way to say farewell true love lost. Poets make us laugh, help us cry, or paint a picture through their use of the written word. Many of us attempt to emulate their genius; however, far too often we fall short of our dreams. If you fall into this category, do not despair, for in the very appalling nature of your efforts you may show talent unheard of in the celebrated bards. You could be the quintessential bad poet.

So what are the secrets of writing bad poetry?

The Basics

Unlike good poetry, the truly awful stuff can be written at lightning speed, and with very little thought. On the other hand you can agonise for hours and still write something truly appalling. Sometimes the longer you agonise over it, the more you will cause others to do so, too. However, beginners may find the 'take away' school of poetry the easiest to attempt: fast, nasty, and guaranteed to clog up the arteries.

Remember the adage of good writing: write what you know. Ignore this rule with impunity. After all, it doesn't apply to you.

Rhyming

Bad poetry should rhyme if at all possible, although some of the best of its aspirants have ignored this rule with considerable success. Trust us, with enough thought, anything can rhyme. When it comes to finding those rhymes, the following strategy is recommended; just add the sound of the word you're trying to rhyme with to successive letters of the alphabet, until you come up with:

--A word that fits
--A word that doesn't fit (for a very bad poem)
--If you're still stuck, just go for something that you can convince your friends is an actual word (and then keep them away from dictionaries).

Here is an example of how to find a rhyme:

Oh my love, you led me astray,
You cast me aside as the night does the day!
How I moan and I choke until I hardly speak!
The dilemma - what to rhyme with 'speak'? A-eek? Beak? Creak? Deek? Eek? Freak? Greek? Geek? Heek? (And so on... continue until you get to Zeek). Just find the first that you like. Here's an example:

I'll love you at least 'til the middle of next week!

If all that seems like too much work, cheat. The rhyming dictionary has already done the work for you! After all, why go to more effort than you have to?

Now you've gone to all that trouble to find all those rhymes, why waste them? Nothing says 'three minutes thought' more than an endlessly repeated sound. Here's an example:

Boom!
It shook the room!
The sound of my doom!
Then, I smelt the fume!
And heard the death tune!
Played on a loom!
Everything went... Voom!

The above example also demonstrates another old reliable technique: the 'not quite rhyming' technique. If you've gone through every letter of the alphabet and haven't found a single word you're happy with, and your friends aren't gullible enough to believe 'gistansil' really is a word, near enough is always good enough. So, tune rhymes with boom, and if your readers don't believe it, well, they may be right; on the other hand, maybe they're just too ignorant to understand your literary genius. You decide.

Never forget the 'absent' rhyme. So you can't find a word that rhymes with 'cactus'? Who cares? There's no point in letting the flow of your thought ebb for such a minor detail. Ignore the last sound of that line, and just get on with the rest of the poem. The sudden change in your rhyming pattern will make a powerful statement. Of some description. For example:

It was a dark and stormy day
When you went away!
I cried and I cried and I cried,
(I think I nearly died)
You left me for Suzie Caronabularis,
Which was awfully sad,
I felt so bad,
You broke my heart,
I should have known from the start!

Advanced Bad Poetry

There are many techniques used by good poets to create imagery through words. These include alliteration, sibilance, and cacophony. Needless to say, these are not in any way necessary in your poetry. However, from time to time, you may find them useful. A good rule of thumb is while in good poetry a little is good, in bad lots is best. It's impossible to overdo it. So, if 'Anna ate eighty apples avidly all around Australia' you're definitely on the right track.

Rhythm; if you haven't completely ignored this aspect of your poem, and you find you must keep it flowing then feel free to contract words as it suits you. After all, don't even good poems have o'er and e'en in them?

Why reinvent the wheel? You could spend hours perfecting the turn of phrase most suited to your muse, but why bother? There’s a cliché for every occasion, and an occasion for every cliché. Season your poetry liberally with them. Once again, you can never have too many:

Oh warm and fuzzy feline,
With your razor-sharp claws.
To you I'd give anything,
Rest it gently in your paws!
For 'though you tipped your bowl over
And ruined my new blue silk,
My mother always told me
'Never cry over spilt milk!'

Haiku

The haiku deserves special consideration, not only because it is a short, meaningful type of Japanese poetry, but because it is so easy to do badly. While traditional haiku has all sorts of elements that provide atmosphere, yours need only follow the syllable rule. Your first line should have five syllables, the second seven, and the third five again. As long as you have most of your fingers intact, this should not cause a problem:

I like bees, they're so
Yellow and black, and yellow
And black and yellow

The Clerihew

Once you've mastered the art of bad poetry, the first thing to do is to show off to your friends; and in what better way than immortalising them in verse? The Clerihew is the perfect vehicle for this, allowing you to appease their vanity while using all those rhymes you've so carefully uncovered. And since rhythmic form is completely optional, you can churn these out at a rate that will please even the most exacting public.

Humphrey McDuff
Thought he'd had enough
After a loaf of bread and six bowls of stew
A trip to the little boy's room seemed long overdue!

Finally...

Should your poetry, despite your most heroic efforts, be looking suspiciously classy, there's nothing like a bit of gratuitous name-dropping to bring it down a peg or two. Don't be fussy. It doesn't matter whose name you drop, or (if you've managed to slip more than one name in) how incongruently you juxtapose them; their very presence will suffice.

Remember, while you may never aspire to being William McGonagall, just be the worst poet you can be.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A577118

Quote from: bol-anon nga cebuano on October 29, 2010, 01:31:46 AM
dako nalang siguro kay mao ra man ang barato. pero ang pagkatinood kanang mga super balita ug banat, sobra nga papel ra man na sa sunstar ug freeman. maong hapon palang printahon na daan. kasagaran gani sa mga balita ana, pan-os na ang uban.

He he, makalingaw jud hinuon ang Superbalita ug Banat. Ang nakanindot pud ani kay napalambo ang atong pinulongan kay daghan mang mobasa.

Quote from: islander on October 29, 2010, 12:17:41 AM
worry not, paddle. imong otenikites ang nakagubot.  daghang reactions.  it will have its own place in the history of kitehood.

He he, you mean, reactions to the erection are legion? 

Quote from: bugsay on October 29, 2010, 12:28:52 AM
salamat kaayo maam isles.....kay gihatagan nimo paglaum ang binugok kong itlog sa panglimbasog.

Sigi lang, kay taas man ang sulbong sa luso sa pangindahay... 

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on October 29, 2010, 02:25:53 AM
Oi gaba 5'1 and half raba ko bisan unsaon nako ug hangyo sa akong bana nga 5'2 ko di jud kono kay 5'1 1/2 ra jud kono . Akong Lola man lagi mubo pa nako 92 naman namatay unya tigpanabako pa gyud to. Akong mga igsoon laki tag as pero ako nakakuha ug genes sa akong lola nga potot.

Ang putot sa baje kay kadto man kunong wa kaabot og 5 feet. Pero American size man tingali ni. Sa akong bana-bana, ang putot nga baje sa atoa kadtong 4'8" and below...

How to Write Bad Poetry
By Devrie Paradowski


“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.”--Oscar Wilde


People write poetry for a plethora of reasons, but this article has a sharpened arrowhead aimed directly at the fingertips of amateur poets who wish to be published yet refuse to learn the attributes of a well-crafted poem. These poets are the ones who plop their pieces, shining with every beam of ambiguity, vagueness and hackney, into cyberspace for review. I have encountered a few of these poets to whom I have given a courteous critique, only to be backhanded in the face by sore comments such as, “You must be too dense to get it,” or “Everyone I know tells me how great I am. You’re the only one…”

Of course I am usually left wondering why someone would care to post a poem in a critique forum if any constructive comment given to the poet gets immediately flushed down the cyber-potty. Many new poets seem to think that writing a poem is one hundred percent emotion. They overlook the notion that, as with any craft, poetry entails a good deal of practice and learning as well as desire and talent. So instead of writing about the importance of concrete imagery, figurative language, and the art of minimizing abstractions, I thought it might be fun, (and might even tick a few people off) to write a small compendium of attributes of bad poetry.

Recipe for a Really Bad Poem

-A bad poem should not have any original language. If you aim to write a bad poem, avoid coming up with stark images. The last thing you would want to do is write something fresh, innovative, and evocative. Use as many hackneyed expressions as possible, such as “crystal clear,” “dark as ebony,” “blue as the sky,” “dark as night,” “…paints a picture,” “climb the highest mountain,” Etc.

-An especially bad poem should be heavily weighted with abstract words such as “heart,” “love” “sadness,” “despair,” “hate,” and “destiny.” The more abstract and generalized your poem, the better suited it will be to mean absolutely nothing to the reader. Aim for zero concrete images if you want a particularly bad poem. For example, “The world is a sorrowful place/ filled with sadness and hate…blah blah blah.” Also, be sure to TELL the poet how to describe something by using superfluous abstract adjectives! “The water is pretty;” “The world is ugly;” “His eyes were beautiful…” A bad poem should never use figurative language or descriptive imagery to SHOW the reader a slice of life.

-No matter how odd the sentence becomes, or how unlikely the phrase would be concocted in normal language, make it RHYME. Rhyme anyway!! That’s right, a bad poem is going to have very forced rhyme. If you have to rearrange the structure of a sentence just to make the rhyme fit, go for it! For example: “The apple blossoms fell in May/ on the grassy field is where they lay.” (Notice how I just couldn’t say, “They lay on the grassy field?” That wouldn’t rhyme, so I had to make up a funky sentence.

-Don’t worry about punctuation, grammar, or spelling. What you really want to do is to make the reader scratch her head and read it a zillion times trying to figure out what it means. Bad spelling and poor grammar will really detract from the meaning, so get reckless with your words. Try this poem out for size:

i watch as the sun/ sets over the horisen/ the ocean pants/ like a wild monster/ breaths with heavy/ breath and then falls/ something small/ always gets lost/ in the mouth/ of agony

or

u r reel speciol/ like honi sweet/ from a candy bee.

-A good practice for a cleverly bad poet is to make the objects of the poem plural! Globalize your subject for an incredibly weak impact! “Trees are…” “People cry…” “Flowers bloom…” By pluralizing all the objects of the poem, you are blurring the imagery, thus making it sappy, intangible, and simply boring.

----------------------

Frequently Asked Questions of bad poets who want to be published but don’t want to work:

Q. Who are you to judge what a good poem is? A poem is like beauty; it is in the eye of the beholder!

A. Paul Valery once said, “a poem is never finished, only abandoned.” You have to work on your poem. You have to find a certain clarity that will reach the reader. Sometimes we get so fogged up with our own emotions, we don’t really see the true poem. Emotional outpours make excellent first drafts, but if you don’t go any further then that, you aren’t working hard enough to make your poem goodâ€"even in your own eyes. Also, as far a judging a poem is concerned, as long as you hope to publish your poetry, it will get judged. Know what these “judgers” are looking for.

Q. If clichés were so bad, why have they been around for so long?

A. Exactly!! Everyone understands clichésâ€"almost to the point where they don’t even mean anything anymore. Poetry is an art of expression and exposition. If you are too lazy to come up with the images yourself, then you aren’t really writing poetry.

Q. I write poetry for personal reasons. It is my way of dealing with the world. Why should I care what you think about poetry?

A. You shouldn’t. Unless you are trying to perfect your craft so that you can express yourself through literature in some publication, you can write any way you want. Just know, though, that if you post your poem for critique, you might get some honest criticism based on poetic technique. If that is not what you are looking to get, please let people know what you are looking to get.


http://www.freepoems.info/how_to_write_bad_poetry.html

Quote from: Scarb on October 29, 2010, 04:24:27 AM
        So be prepared like sa boy/girl scout ngak§ birä what comes along ur way.,sulong Gabriela nyahaha

He he...

Quote from: Scarb on October 29, 2010, 04:24:27 AM
Ja really an open highway, dli close-open hee³.

Aw, kon dili close-open, pwede kitoy nang kitoy? 

Quote from: Scarb on October 29, 2010, 04:24:27 AM
 Ang life daw is like a folded piece,it is unfolded daily,U dunno what comes ahead.
       

He he, when it's fully unfolded, you fold it again...

Bilib ko sa abilidad nimo, Scarb, makabuhi jud diay kag bana kon magkalisod, he he... 

Quote from: islander on October 26, 2010, 08:48:29 PM
today a dirt road of a byway, tomorrow an airport runway!

Tell your pilots to be extra mindful!

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 08:57:58 PM
whahaha tyahaha³..perfect combi...!

He he, atong balihon aron maangay pagkaprito...

Timos nga lumulupyo sa Disneyland? Hmm... 

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 09:03:33 PM
ajeheehe hibalo ko manoi Hoboi..sani pazabortz.. sun§dogirm§ syaom

He he, must I ask if you know? I mustn't, because I know thee. Sa ato pa, ay da si e... 

Quote from: ms da binsi on October 28, 2010, 08:00:17 PM
unsa man daw to pasabut? ay-da as in lay-da??

He he, maglisod ko kay kinahanglan man gud naay kuyog nga facial expression... 

Abi nako German ni nga family name.

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 05:32:46 PM
batsi sa ko kay tuwad-tuwad time na pod..

He he, ayaw palabig tuwad-tuwad, basin maingon ka ani:

(Warning: disturbing image; ayaw i-click kon lud-anon ka)
http://www.drmartinsnakeoil.com/Images/Weight%20Lifter.jpg

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 05:32:46 PM

hehe....maayo unta'g tan-awon niya to'ng akoa aron kahatagan ug hukom....duda man gud ko nga molingiw to siya kay dili ka harong...

He he, morag nasobrahan na gani to niyag harong, Bay Bugs. Ang downside sa imong entry kay basin di padag-on, abi lang maoy kinaham... 

Quote from: luckybelle on October 26, 2010, 06:16:21 PM

hehehehehe....... just an expression...

shallan= untsa ba gud

He he, kahibawo ko sa buot jud nimong ipasabot...  

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 05:25:43 PM
basta'g si fredie hubag ang trainor.....hehehe

He he, sparring partner lang ko, basin diay makatsamba tag killer punch... 

Wa bitaw toy hinungdan. Unsa kahay nakaon adtong mga tawhana... 

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 05:06:20 PM
i yagyag nalang na tanan aron dili maabtan sa deadline....inig mata atong Scarbzy nga nagpahipi ra, managpa na to siya tag 100euro sa modaug...

He he, ganiha ra tong nagmata si Ms. Scarb kay hapit na man udto sa ilaha ron. Basin nag-withdraw pa to kay hatagan na lang ta niyang tanan nga participants og 100 euro each...

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 04:47:41 PM
aw, kun mao na man lang na, hutdon na lang ug laray ug arko ang tibuok dalan.  daghan baya pod ang opisyales... ma-brayt gyod atong mga bata ana.

Samtan man pud.  Maglibog man ang mga bata anang imong kalaki. Kadtong mga importante lang gud. 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 04:41:36 PM
motagam sang tanang, indi lang unta si bolbs nga sangkay o igsu sang tanang.

Tanang panikaysikay sa kinabuhi mahimong walay kapuslanan kon dili kita magkasinabot ug magpinasayloay sa usag usa... 

Quote from: luckybelle on October 28, 2010, 04:12:35 PM

Daghan-daghan na ni amen ani nga pangwarta duh... hehehe... ka-cute... lami jamo kusion...  

He he, klarong naka-relate... 

Quote from: BolBuhol on October 28, 2010, 03:34:17 PM
damo gid pilak sang yotyot bwahahahahaha....

Pwede na gam-on mong sugar mommy bla! 

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 04:32:58 PM
maayo modala'g kuob?

He he, igo ra intawong mokupokupo ang biktima... 

He he, wa pa unta ni mahuman pero deadline na man rong adlawa mao nga gi-submit na lang ni nako...





Kamo na lay identify sa characters diri...

Quote from: BolBuhol on October 28, 2010, 03:41:10 PM
iya gid ining men´s comfort room

malagmit gid mawgid ni bla si
OIC

Oi, nganong niabot man nis Darna diri? Gustong mogamit sa men's comfort room? 

Quote from: BolBuhol on October 28, 2010, 04:21:18 PM
kalaglagan sang tanang kabayaram

Kabayaram sang tanang patakam yamyam, putlam sang lagayam arong motagam. 

Quote from: U.S. of America on October 25, 2010, 07:21:11 AM
Mercado urged the public, especially adults, not to patronize smut or pornographic movies.

Minors are not especially urged.   

Quote from: U.S. of America on October 26, 2010, 01:33:41 AM
Bidding for the supply of said boats was recently conducted and concluded by the DA, to ensure a fair and transparent bidding procedure, secretary Angara constituted a prequalification, bids and awards committee (PBAC) headed by the young, energetic and no non-sense Undersecretary Demaree Raval, as a result of the fearless transparency of the bidding procedures, inspite of attempts of vested interests to influence and rig the bidding in their favor, the PBAC arrived at a conclusion which realized a US$3 million advantage to the Philippine government. -philippine star

Ang buot ipasabot ba aning "US$3 million advantage" nga kon dili pa tungod sa "fearless transparency of the bidding procedures" mao ning nga amount ang makikik? 

Quote from: bugsay on October 27, 2010, 11:16:48 AM
o didto ko, hmmm wa ko kasuroy, trabaho mauy giadto.....samok lugara, gagmay ang dalan nya daghan kaayong motor.....maihap ra nag 4 wheels.

He he, layo ras Pakyaw sa linihayay... 

OK diay ning pudayatris ta... 

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 02:22:42 PM
mag jogging lang gyud ta permi ani bai Hubs..

Hadlok ko ani. Lisod diay ning putot ta. Bahala na lag pitot... 

GEORG WILHELM FRIEDRICH HEGEL
(August 27, 1770 â€" November 14, 1831)



Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel was a German philosopher, one of the creators of German Idealism. His historicist and idealist account of reality as a whole revolutionized European philosophy and was an important precursor to Continental philosophy and Marxism.

Hegel developed a comprehensive philosophical framework, or "system", to account in an integrated and developmental way for the relation of mind and nature, the subject and object of knowledge, and psychology, the state, history, art, religion and philosophy. In particular, he developed a concept of mind or spirit that manifested itself in a set of contradictions and oppositions that it ultimately integrated and united, without eliminating either pole or reducing one to the other. Examples of such contradictions include those between nature and freedom, and between immanence and transcendence.

In previous modern accounts of Hegelianism (to undergraduate classes, for example), especially those formed prior to the Hegel renaissance, Hegel's dialectic was most often characterized as a three-step process, "thesis, antithesis, synthesis"; namely, that a "thesis" (e.g. the French Revolution) would cause the creation of its "antithesis" (e.g. the Reign of Terror that followed), and would eventually result in a "synthesis" (e.g. the Constitutional state of free citizens). However, Hegel used this classification only once, and he attributed the terminology to Immanuel Kant. The terminology was largely developed earlier by Johann Fichte.

Hegel was appointed Rector of the University in 1830, when he was 60. He was deeply disturbed by the riots for reform in Berlin in that year. In 1831 Frederick William III decorated him for his service to the Prussian state. In August 1831 a cholera epidemic reached Berlin and Hegel left the city, taking up lodgings in Kreuzberg. Now in a weak state of health, Hegel went out little. As the new semester began in October, Hegel returned to Berlin, with the (mistaken) impression that the epidemic had largely subsided. By November 14 Hegel was dead. The physicians pronounced the cause of death as cholera, but it is likely he died from a different gastrointestinal disease.

--from Wikipedia

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 02:08:03 PM
imbis alleluiah....na orimoz-orimos ug bendito y alabado hinoon....tsk tsk tsk..

Paet kon maoy rason nga madedbol. Maayo pay madunggaban tungod kay nagmaoy... 

Tsk, tsk, tsk. 

Short People Face Great Heart Disease Risk: Report
Submitted by Michael Santo on 2010-06-10

According to Randy Newman's old song, "Short People," Short people got no reason to live. What may in fact be true, according to research, is that they have a greater chance of a heart attack.

The report, in which Tuula Paajanen, MD, a researcher at the University of Tampere, Finland, analyzes 52 previously published studies, is published in the European Heart Journal. According to the research, "The shorter you are, the higher risk you have of developing cardiovascular disease," according to Paajanen.

Overall, said Paajanen, the risk of getting heart disease and dying from it early is 1.5 times higher for short people than for tall people. That includes an increased risk of heart attacks and earlier death than for people of taller stature.

Relatively speaking, what is tall and what is short? The researchers defined the terms as follows: short men were those less than 5'5" tall, while short women were those below 5'. Tall men, on the other hand, were defined to be 5'9 and 1/2" or more, while tall women were over 5'5 and1/2".

The results were, of course, enlightening, but don't worry too much if you fall into the short categories: smoking, obesity, lack of exercise, and more contribute to a greater extent than stature. Still, the results are that

Shortness increased the risk of heart disease illness and death by 1.5 times.
Short men had a 37% increased risk of death (any cause)
Short women a 55% increased risk of death (any cause)
Both short men and short women had a 52% increased risk of having a heart attack.
Indeed, given these statistics, perhaps Randy Newman was correct, as it seems pretty depressing for those of short stature.

Typical of early studies, the reason for such a correlation is still not known. Paajanen speculated, however. "My favorite hypothesis is that shorter people would have narrower arteries, because this hypothesis hasn't been studied very much. In recent studies using angiographic measurements, the coronary artery diameter was correlated with height and body weight, so there might be a point to it,"

She also stated that short people need not panic. "Height is only one factor (among many) that may contribute to heart disease risk." Instead, she urged people to focus on other ways of bettering your health, such as exercising and not smoking. "Those are easier to change than your height," she added.

http://www.huliq.com/3257/short-people-face-great-heart-disease-risk-report

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 11:52:29 AM
na, sige, masabtan na gyod uyamot nga arang mahala gyod diay anang imong nawong.  mas mahal pa sa kang sk jane cajes.

He he, unsa man diay sukod sa kamahal, ang gibag-on? 

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 12:32:43 PM
diin tua nagsige tuod ug singgit sa bungtod apan ang mga timos gilibong ang o sa tabunok nga yuta aron lang mahilayo sa ka alingisi sa guba'ng plaka nga nag balik-balik ang tunada?

He he, apan sumala sa nahisulat, iyaha kanunay ang kataposang bersikulo bisan wala na intawon magkadimao... 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 11:50:02 AM
sa panahon nga mokisdom ang langit, adunay usa ka linalang nga nagbangutan, gipahimungtan ug ibot ang iyang bungot, dayon palupad sa iyang tabanog nga dumadaog.

Hmm, gipahimungtan pag-ibot ang bungot sa iyang remote? 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 08:02:49 AM
gwapa-gwapa gyod hinoon ning pagka-enhance ikomparar sa famous cat lady sa new york.  nalibog lang kog kinsa ni, si hubag ba o si bugsay ba o self-portrait ba kaha kini ni bnc.

Tingali human sa usa pa ka tuig nga enhance-enhance, mahiamgid na ni siya nako... 

Quote from: bugsay on October 28, 2010, 11:03:55 AM

sama pananglit sa unsa?...

Sama pananglit, sa usa ka bahin, sa kahimatngon nga bisan sa kahaguka sa damgo kini maoy labing lig-on nga gabayan sa panahon nga mokisdom ang langit ug, sa pikas bahin, sa kasaypanan sa pagyam-id sa matinud-anong mga tinguha pagpul-ong sa nagkahibat nga bungot sa garay tungod lang sa naghingapin kataas nga panglantaw sa buringog nga kaugalingon...

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 09:35:59 PM
Ang sinangag ug sinigang daw na gang² ug migahi,ang kunortz nanga sang² sa tu-buL ♫♪ La ♫♪Li ♫♪Le ♫♪Lo ♫♪Lu ♫♪

♫♪Lo ♫♪Lu ♫♪ gid kung gumahi na ang tubul nga burag anagon nga ginaganggang sang hanggurawang gid haw. 

Quote from: bol-anon nga cebuano on October 27, 2010, 02:32:18 AM
nakadaug sad ko sa una sa pista sa kapilya contest kaon ug usa ka putos nga patatas. papaspasay jud nya ang kinaunhan maka taghoy daug.

He he, akong amigo hapit maimpas aning klaseha sa contest, nilagom na jud tawon kay wa na kaginhawa. Maayo gani kay natabang pa...

Quote from: Koddi Prudente on October 27, 2010, 06:41:33 PM
I believe poverty triggers creativity.

In some cases, the creativity thus triggered ignores social and moral norms. 

He he, wa lang tingali untay blema kon wa lang i-distribute ang footages... 

Quote from: Mike Ortega Ligalig on October 20, 2010, 02:30:26 PM
The Federal Supreme Court in the United Arab Emirates has ruled that a man can beat his wife and young children as long as no marks are left, The National newspaper reported on Monday.

The court ruled that "a man has the right to discipline his wife and children provided he does not leave physical marks," the Abu Dhabi-owned newspaper reported in its online edition.

Hmm, beating without leaving marks? Inantigo pud diay ni... 

Quote from: www.tubagbohol.com on October 19, 2010, 10:25:51 AM
Cambodians often drink locally brewed rice wine, which is relatively inexpensive but can be dangerous if not mixed properly.

Wa tingali matarong ang mixture, unya nasamtan pa jud sa pesticide residues, yataps... 

Quote from: bol-anon nga cebuano on October 28, 2010, 01:15:50 AM
MDB, dili man ni sa sunstar gipublish. sa super balita, ang tabloid nga binisaya sa sunstar publications. kompetensiya sa banat.

Bay BNC, tinuod ba nga mas dako ang circulation aning Superbalita kaysa other Sunstar publications?

Quote from: wolfpack823 on October 28, 2010, 12:23:19 AM
Tanan nga binuhatan maayo man o dautan adunay kabayaran.

Kabayaran sang tanan nga katarantadohan mao ang kalaglagan sang kalagayan. 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 09:01:49 AM
ugh.  i hope someone is not talking about himself.

Not applicable ni sa mga ulitawo... 

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 05:28:46 AM
Maiz nga indi pa napakpaki imo sanglobong aron gid naa pa buhok haw, pangzumpay sang kolot mo gid blah 

Abaw linti gid, buwagaw gid bla ang kulot sang tubol? 

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 05:00:07 AM
Na muray gidangat ana tyahaha 

Ang nakaparat pa jud, kon klarohon nga no sex with spouse but a lot of sex with others... 

Wa ba kaha ni magsugod sa dihang natuloan si Ondoy sa sip-on ni Inday nga iyang giremedyo nga gatindog on a first date. Sa dihang gipangumusta sa iyang mga amigo, niingon tingali si Ondoy: He he, humok og ilong si Inday...

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 05:36:37 AM
bc ang linia tali ky ako kon adlawan dli pod kazulod cgi ka error..kon mobalhin ko laing site ky mokipat raman..huuh

Sayang bitaw nga dili available ang TB usahay. Daghan pa unta tang masaw-an nga mga pagtulon-an sa kinabuhi... 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 07:53:32 AM
the entrance arch is a piss-off.  when will our politicians ever learn to be ashamed of having their names on projects as if the funds came from their own pockets?  those names pollute the sights.

Oi, makatabang baya na sa mga bata, makahinumdom sila sa pangalan sa ilang officials inig exam... 

Quote from: islander on October 28, 2010, 07:53:32 AM
killjoy me:  the name's funny, especially for a bisaya.  mapagudpud man kaha ta dinhi human mapagud.

Aw, kon mapagud, kagubkub jud ang panit... 

Quote from: wolfpack823 on October 28, 2010, 12:20:12 AM
Kung gahi na kaayo nganong maglisod man, gamitan na lang og tigib, usa ra ka hapak, gisi gyud ng panit.

He he, sa akong paminaw bisag tigib pa, igo lang moputi ang nadut-an sa suwab... 

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 05:24:34 AM
mangutana tas nagpost diin niy nya makit-eh? 

Nagpalimonglimong na. Kuyaw ma-beatened sa ismi... 

Quote from: luckybelle on October 27, 2010, 01:52:39 PM
Kinsa kaha nagkuha sa litrato ani dah....  ... suki ba kaha ni sija sa establisyemento?

Bwahaha! Ma-caughted man pud si Bay BNC nga maoy suki, he he... 

Quote from: Scarb on October 28, 2010, 05:21:15 AM
Klarex kaau nga gilaay ka dha sa mga pikortz ..my dear silingan..ky nagparetoki na jud ka pagka DarNa..peace tyahahaha

Bwahaha! Nisalir jud diay ang exercise pangpaniwang! 

Quote from: bugsay on October 27, 2010, 11:51:29 PM

bag-ong twist sa Pinoy Komiks, nag kontrabida na si Darna......

Oi, naa ba diay gwapo nga kontrabida. Abi lang kay niwang, parehas nako... 

Quote from: bisayantek on October 09, 2007, 10:02:35 AM
Natulog na ang asawa nga magkaon
Og sili samtang maghangad sa Buwan.

Hmm. Tulukibon kaayo ning mga linyaha. Magkaon og sili? Maghangad sa buwan? Tilimad-on sa unsa? 

Quote from: Scarb on October 19, 2010, 05:57:12 AM
helicopter? dli edro? 

Basin tabanog ni Bugsay? 

He he...  

Quote from: luckybelle on October 16, 2010, 03:32:20 PM
Manoi Hoboi with shorter sungay than Vito Andoline.

OK ra ang shorter sungay for smaller pussies... 

Quote from: kan-ogong on October 27, 2010, 08:27:17 PM
Layo rani sa tinood.

Bitaw, layo ra jud, kay imposible nga dili mag-ukang. 

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 08:59:45 PM
Tyahaha³ dah mitungä lagi ka  fwede kita duha mo-om-um ana ka mako jamo ..izigkatomoy tah..! whop§ nyahaha³ yabba dabba doo 

Kinsa kahay moangkon sa lagay... 

Quote from: ms da binsi on October 27, 2010, 08:46:38 PM

kanang tabanog ni Bugsay ug ma ugbok mopaingon sa baba ni Scarb kay nag banganga naman daan! ahahahaahha!

Bwahaha! Tabanog ni Bugsay ray makaibot gikan sa hibernation! Maayong pagbalik, Ms. MDB!  

Di ba kaha mohiyos ang tabanog kon maingkiban, he he...  

Philippines, 134th (2.4). Hmm... 

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on October 27, 2010, 10:34:38 AM
Mouli jud ug pista ug di kauli kono kay mangihi mag atubang sa bohol.

Kay di na man ko kahibawo hain ang Bohol, naa koy dala nga mapa sa Bohol nga akong ipagawas kon mangihi ko. Nindot akong mapa kay naay daghang pakapin nga pictures...

Quote from: Koddi Prudente on October 27, 2010, 06:41:33 PM
11-13 years old: Mokuot sa bulsa sa akong tatay nga gibitay sa kwarto; kawaton ang sensilyo

Sa akong paminaw kini nga pamaagi maoy most common denominator sa mga miyembro sa TB... 

Quote from: Koddi Prudente on October 27, 2010, 06:07:50 PM
Kon wa ka sa Pilipinas karon, tagbo-a na lang ni inig balik sa Sevilla, Spain.

He he, morag layo ra kaayo ko sa ruta sa galeon...

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 05:51:15 PM
                                           Nagzubay kos
                                      mga sidhan or tadhan
                                    nga nag una² kahimugzo
                                  nga wla pa man unta celeb.
                               sa birth ni JC whop§ tekret bitaw..
                                   hirit mode ra gud aherm§  
                                        ♫♪ la la ♫♪ la la ♫♪
                                         

He he, naa sa singing mode man ning atong sponsor. Na hala, dis is labingli didikitid to Mademoiselle Scarb:

(Ato lang ning i-link kay basin i-ban nya ta.)

Warning: Adult content...
http://www.maniacworld.com/animated-musical-notes.gif

Nia pay special number...

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on October 27, 2010, 11:05:44 AM
November 1 raman jud ang holy day of obligation so sa atua dominggo pa sa gabii magpadisco na daan sa menteryo aron inig kalag kalag na jud way hang over mobalik sa trabaho.

Kini maoy padugok sa disco...

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 05:43:29 PM
Bazin baya pod mag unay nirakrakay si vitok ug kigwa nyahahahaha peace..miandar na sad ko  

Bwahaha! Unya imbis Iyo ang Tondo, Akin ang Cavite ang title sa sine, mahimong Imo ang Tinai, Akò ang Kigol!

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 05:32:46 PM
♫♪oh la la oh la la ♫♪
   â™«â™ªmga madre nagpangoroz ug left way ♫♪
          ♫♪ samtang nanagan ang mga ♫♪butt pirate♫♪
                ♫♪ akoa na ..ingon pitot ♫♪ cibog dha ♫♪ tulod deri ♫♪
                     â™«â™ª sikö²♫♪ karwazay ♫♪ dumog ♫♪ bunoö ♫♪

Hmm. Leron Leron Sinta ba kaha ang melody ani? O kaha, Pin Pin De Sarapin? 

Quote from: islander on October 27, 2010, 05:28:00 PM
nanikas diay.  morag motorized diay ni nga tabanog.  may puruhan pa nga remote controlled.  unza man nih?  way zalig sa kaugalingon ang gikopyahan?   

He he, wa ba kaha ron magsigig pislit-pislit si Bay Bugs sa iyang remote... 

Quote from: Scarb on October 27, 2010, 05:09:09 PM
permi ra ko nagpahipi 24/7 hee³ palavaw..playing detektib ko ron ngak§ 

Hmm, unsa kahay gidetektiban ni Scarblock Holmes... 

He he, ang upaw nga tabanog ni Bugsay ra jud ang nakapalugwa ni Scarb sa langob nga iyang gilubloban! 

Quote from: bugsay on October 27, 2010, 04:53:50 PM

bwahahahha...ma erehes lang dayon abi kay nasaylo na man sa iyang 3 o'clock habit.

He he, human na ang orimos samtang piyong ang mata? 

Quote from: bugsay on October 27, 2010, 04:43:10 PM
...ug diha sa iyang hunahuna nahulma ang mga pulong nga "motibugsok ka unta diri sa akong lapyahan aron ako na poy motugpo nimo kulireza ka, gibikogan ka bang nilupad ra man kag wa nanamilit inataya ka".

He he, di ba kaha mabali og tugpo... 

The Bad Poetry Seminar

There is a Bad Poetry Explosion,
and you can be part of it!

Thus begins The Bad Poetry Seminar by Sparrow, which teaches the undeniable truth about today's Poetry Renaissance: Poetry is on the upswing and much of what is being written is bad -- really bad. Now, there are those who will tell you that bad poetry is actually good, and although I wouldn't go quite that far, bad poetry does have its place. The fact is, at slams and open mikes across the country, actually at just about any poetry reading you go to, you're bound to hear some doozies and you'll have to admit, bad poetry makes the good stuff really shine.

So, without further ado, sharpen your wits and pencils and get ready for the Bad Poetry Seminar. With a click of the mouse you'll:

(a) discover how rapidly the percentage of bad poetry is rising,
(b) explore the history of bad poetry,
(c) learn how to differentiate a good bad poem, a mediocre bad poem and a bad bad poem, &
(d) join in chanting the Bad Poetry Anthem.

Once you feel like you've got a handle on things, try your hand at writing a few stinkers yourself. There are a host of resources out there just waiting to critique your work and even some set-up to help you whip up a masterpiece on the fly. Who knows, once you've finished your course of study, you may even be ready to start up your own seminar.

Think you're incapable of writing a bad poem? Well then, test your poetic prowess in one of these poetry contests:

The Academy of American Poets awards a host of prizes each year.

The International Library of Poetry has published anthologies including the work of more than 100,000 (!) poets, awarding prizes totalling more than $150,000. Beware -- they may want you to purchase the book containing your poem for a steep price!

Consult our own collection of online poetry contests to find a current one open for your entry.

http://poetry.about.com/library/weekly/aa042297.htm


Some suggested further reads:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A577118
http://www.verybadpoetry.com/
http://homepages.wmich.edu/~cooneys/poems/bad/index.html
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/performance_poetry/103616

Quote from: bugsay on October 27, 2010, 04:31:44 PM
puno sa kahikurat?....

...nga inubanan sa kahinam ug nanganaykanay nga kainit? 

Quote from: Raquelproud boholana on October 27, 2010, 10:24:24 AM
Wa koy trick man Toy basta ingnon ra gani ko ug hilak modagayday man dayon akong luha sa una bisan way hunahunaon kay ang premyo ra jud ang secret dagway adto. Di man ka kadaug gud ug way luha moagas mao paagason jud una ang luha. Nagpasabot ba kaha ni nga naa koy talent sa acting? hahahah

He he, masapi jud hinuon ning imong abilidad, Raqz. Morag di ra ba ni ikatudlo...