MikeLigalig.com

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

basin mga fil-ams nga wala nay ikaplete pauli sa tate or mga call center agents nga gi fireout kay absenot.

Dear Bugsay, what Kind Of Sex Do You Have???  Can you choose the options below??? 

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special.
I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you
know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's
completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is,"
she
complained, "It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when
you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're
never
home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX:
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and
torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could
give
him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the
surgery,
since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be
$3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was
sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk
it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his
wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back
into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the
two
of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather
remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on
the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you
die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold
As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

wala ko mangopya maam oi, nisuon ra ko ka murag sakto.

napauli nako sa cebu. kadiyot ra ko sa manila.

duha nata mis da bins.

sa dihang nakat-on kug kaibog sa usa ka babaye ug nahigugma ug nakauyab. nakat-on kung mamiste ug maayo, maligo pirme, magpahumot sige, mo kiss, mohinol ug manghikap hikap.

kung ako hatagan, dawat ko pikas ug pikas kay grasya na gud na hinatag. bisan wala ko kahibalo diin gikan. pero when it comes to my vote, aw adto jud ko sa feel nako nga angayan.

no work for 2 days, brought the kids to the mall to unwind a bit then bought some groceries for the house.

ang katok sa amoa kay naay gamay. ang katok mao na ang tinagalog sa toktok.
pareha ra baya tag native tounge, bisdak.

ok guys and gals, stop sa mo katawa.
papahuwaya imong alingagngag ug mga lagos.

nahala. maayo ta ug madakpan aron masud-an sa panihapon.

back to the bridge. hehehhee
di kaha ni mahimong bridge over troubled water?

pwera buyag. 

samot na kung di iuli imong sapatos ma over ka OT jud.

Quote from: ms da binsi on August 06, 2009, 04:56:26 AM
hahahha! kinsa may shay diha sa inju? ikaw japun? shay tigluto, shay tiglaba, shay tig baby sit...

most of the time. mo sub lang panagsa akong asawa kung weekends. hehehehe

Quote from: ms da binsi on August 06, 2009, 04:55:22 AM
bwahahahha! Ray ma takyan jud ta ani ron! pero di baja no OT! di ba?

ma OT na kung moingon ka nga valet parking sa bawsahan ug kormata.

dili kabahawan sa amoa kay mga dagkog hamal ang mga tawo. hehehehe.

pareha ni sa kan-anan ni yaya minelro sa lesage sa una, naay rambol 1 hangtud 10 nga meal combo.

ms da bins, naay carpool sa trisikad, habal-habal ug trisikol. 

FROM the 1896 Revolution to the first Philippine Republic, the Commonwealth period, the EDSA Revolt, and the tiger cub economy, history marches on. Thankfully, however, some things never change. Like the classics, things irresistibly Pinoy mark us for life. They're the indelible stamp of our identity, the undeniable affinity that binds us like twins. They celebrate the good in us, the best of our culture and the infinite possibilities we are all capable of. Some are so self-explanatory you only need mention them for fellow Pinoys to swoon or drool. Here, from all over this Centennial-crazed country and in no particular order, are a hundred of the best things that make us unmistakably Pinoy.

Merienda - Where else is it normal to eat five times a day?

Sawsawan - Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo't calamansi, suka at sili, patis.

Kuwan, ano - At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what you want.

Pinoy humor and irreverence - If you're api and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.

Tingi - Thank goodness for small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life's essentials in small affordable amounts?

Spirituality - Even before the Spaniards came, ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.

Po, opo, mano po - Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect--a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.

Pasalubong. Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop without the customary guilt.

Beaches! With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan--over here, life is truly a beach.

Bagoong. Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.

Bayanihan. Yes, the internationally-renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching in still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.

The Balikbayan box. Another way of sharing life's bounty, no matter if it seems like we're fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.

Pilipino komiks. Not to mention "Hiwaga," "Aliwan," "Tagalog Classics," "Liwayway" and"Bulaklak" magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel, characters of a time both innocent and worldly.

Folk songs. They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.

Fiesta. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It's a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.

Aswang, manananggal, kapre. The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.

Jeepneys. Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman's communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver's a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.

Dinuguan. Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mined with jalape쨚 peppers. Messy but delicious.

Santacruzan. More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena's and Constantine's search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it's the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies--and the most beautiful gowns.

Balut. Unhatched duck's embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.

Pakidala. A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don't trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.

Choc-nut. Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M's and Hershey's.

Kamayan style. To eat with one's hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners--ah, heaven.

Chicharon. Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.

Pinoy hospitality. Just about everyone gets a hearty "Kain tayo!" invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.

Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff. Home-cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.

Lola Basyang. The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.

Pambahay. Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.

Tricycle and trisikad, the poor Pinoy's taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as PHPesos3.00, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.

Dirty ice cream. Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there's the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.

Yayas. The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent--if you don't mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.

Sarsi. Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.

Pinoy fruits. Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico, papaya, singkamas--the possibilities!

Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: Aurora Pijuan, Cardinal Sin, Carlos P. Romulo, Charito Solis, Cory Aquino, Emilio Aguinaldo, the Eraserheads, Fidel V. Ramos, Francis Magalona, Gloria Diaz, Manuel L. Quezon, Margie Moran, Melanie Marquez, Ninoy Aquino, Nora Aunor, Pitoy Moreno, Ramon Magsysay, Richard Gomez, San Lorenzo Ruiz, Sharon Cuneta, Gemma Cruz, Erap, Tiya Dely, Mel and Jay, Gary V.

World class Pinoys who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren "Bata" Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori.

Pinoy tastes. A dietitian's nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we're the guys who put sugar (horrors) in our spaghetti sauce. Yum!

The sights. Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol's Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pi?s Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.

Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.

Barangay Ginebra, Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball. How the verticaly-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.

People Power at EDSA. When everyone became a hero and changed Philippine history overnight.

San Miguel Beer and pulutan. "Isa pa nga!" and the Philippines' most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol-rich chasers.

Resiliency. We've survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada, Robin Padilla, and Tamagochi. We'll survive Erap.

Yoyo. Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to "walk the dog" and "rock the baby," using just a piece of string.

Pinoy games: Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.

Ninoy Aquino. For saying that "the Filipino is worth dying for,'' and proving it.

Balagtasan. The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage.

Tabo. All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically-triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket _ and help the true Pinoy answer nature's call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.

Pandesal. Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.

Jollibee. Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it's invaded the Middle East, as well?

The butanding, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters. They're Pinoys, too, and they're here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing.

Pakikisama. It's what makes people stay longer at parties, have another drink, join pals in sickness and health. You can get dead drunk and still make it home.

Sing-a-long. Filipinos love to sing, and thank God a lot of us do it well!

Kayumanggi. Neither pale nor dark, our skin tone is beautifully healthy, the color of a rich earth or a mahogany tree growing towards the sun.

Handwoven cloth and native weaves. Colorful, environment-friendly alternatives to polyester that feature skillful workmanship and a rich indigenous culture behind every thread. From the pinukpok of the north to the malong of the south, it's the fiber of who we are.

Movies. Still the cheapest form of entertainment, especially if you watch the same movie several times.

Bahala na. We cope with uncertainty by embracing it, and are thus enabled to play life by ear.

Papaitan. An offal stew flavored with bile, admittedly an acquired taste, but pointing to our national ability to acquire a taste for almost anything.

English. Whether carabao or Arr-neoww-accented, it doubles our chances in the global marketplace.

The Press. Irresponsible, sensational, often inaccurate, but still the liveliest in Asia. Otherwise, we'd all be glued to TV.

Divisoria. Smelly, crowded, a pickpocket's paradise, but you can get anything here, often at rock-bottom prices. The sensory overload is a bonus.

Barong Tagalog. Enables men to look formal and dignified without having to strangle themselves with a necktie. Worn well, it makes any ordinary Juan look marvelously makisig.

Filipinas. They make the best friends, lovers, wives. Too bad they can't say the same for Filipinos.

Filipinos. So maybe they're bolero and macho with an occasional streak of generic infidelity; they do know how to make a woman feel like one.

Catholicism. What fun would sin be without guilt? Jesus Christ is firmly planted on Philippine soil.

Dolphy. Our favorite, ultra-durable comedian gives the beleaguered Pinoy everyman an odd dignity, even in drag.

Style. Something we often prefer over substance. But every Filipino claims it as a birthright.

Bad taste. Clear plastic covers on the vinyl-upholstered sofa, posters of poker-playing dogs masquerading as art, overaccessorized jeepneys and altars--the list is endless, and wealth only seems to magnify it.

Mangoes. Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.Mangoes. Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.

Unbridled optimism. Why we rank so low on the suicide scale.

Street food: Barbecue, lugaw, banana-cue, fishballs, IUD (chicken entrails), adidas (chicken feet), warm taho. Forget hepatitis; here's cheap, tasty food with gritty ambience.

The siesta. Snoozing in the middle of the day is smart, not lazy.

Honorifics and courteous titles: Kuya, ate, diko, ditse, ineng, totoy, Ingkong, Aling, Mang, etc. No exact English translation, but these words connote respect, deference and the value placed on kinship.

Heroes and people who stood up for truth and freedom. Lapu-lapu started it all, and other heroes and revolutionaries followed: Diego Silang, Macario Sakay, Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini, Melchora Aquino, Gregorio del Pilar, Gabriela Silang, Miguel Malvar, Francisco Balagtas, Juan Luna, Marcelo H. del Pilar, Panday Pira, Emilio Jacinto, Raha Suliman, Antonio Luna, Gomburza, Emilio Aguinaldo, the heroes of Bataan and Corregidor, Pepe Diokno, Satur Ocampo, Dean Armando Malay, Evelio Javier, Ninoy Aquino, Lola Rosa and other comfort women who spoke up, honest cabbie Emilio Advincula, Rona Mahilum, the women lawyers who didn't let Jalosjos get away with rape.

Flora and fauna. The sea cow (dugong), the tarsier, calamian deer, bearcat, Philippine eagle, sampaguita, ilang-ilang, camia, pandan, the creatures that make our archipelago unique.

Pilipino songs, OPM and composers: "Ama Namin," "Lupang Hinirang," "Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal," "Ngayon at Kailanman," "Anak," "Handog,""Hindi Kita Malilimutan," "Ang Pasko ay Sumapit"; Ryan Cayabyab, George Canseco, Restie Umali, Levi Celerio, Manuel Francisco, Freddie Aguilar, and Florante--living examples of our musical gift.

Metro Aides. They started out as Imelda Marcos' groupies, but have gallantly proven their worth. Against all odds, they continuously prove that cleanliness is next to godliness--especially now that those darned candidates' posters have to be scraped off the face of Manila!

Sari-sari store. There's one in every corner, offering everything from bananas and floor wax to Band-Aid and bakya.

Philippine National Red Cross. PAWS. Caritas. Fund drives. They help us help each other.

Favorite TV shows through the years: "Tawag ng Tanghalan," "John and Marsha," "Champoy," "Ryan, Ryan Musikahan," "Kuwarta o Kahon," "Public Forum/Lives," "Student Canteen," "Eat Bulaga." In the age of inane variety shows, they have redeemed Philippine television.

Quirks of language that can drive crazy any tourist listening in: "Bababa ba?" "Bababa!"

"Sayang!" "Naman!" "Kadiri!" "Ano ba!?" "pala." Expressions that defy translation but wring out feelings genuinely Pinoy.

Cockfighting. Filipino men love it more than their wives (sometimes).

Dr. Jose Rizal. A category in himself. Hero, medicine man, genius, athlete, sculptor, fictionist, poet, essayist, husband, lover, samaritan, martyr. Truly someone to emulate and be proud of, anytime, anywhere.

Nora Aunor. Short, dark and homely-looking, she redefined our rigid concept of how leading ladies should look.

Noranian or Vilmanian. Defines the friendly rivalry between Ate Guy Aunor and Ate Vi Santos and for many years, the only way to be for many Filipino fans.

Filipino Christmas. The world's longest holiday season. A perfect excuse to mix our love for feasting, gift-giving and music and wrap it up with a touch of religion.

Relatives and kababayan abroad. The best refuge against loneliness, discrimination and confusion in a foreign place. Distant relatives and fellow Pinoys readily roll out the welcome mat even on the basis of a phone introduction or referral.

Festivals: Sinulog, Ati-atihan, Moriones. Sounds, colors, pagan frenzy and Christian overtones.

Folk dances. Tinikling, pandanggo sa ilaw, kari?sa, kuratsa, itik-itik, alitaptap, rigodon. All the right moves and a distinct rhythm.

Native wear and costumes. Baro't saya, tapis, terno, saya, salakot, bakya. Lovely form and ingenious function in the way we dress.

Sunday family gatherings. Or, close family ties that never get severed. You don't have to win the lotto or be a president to have 10,000 relatives. Everyone's family tree extends all over the archipelago, and it's at its best in times of crisis; notice how food, hostesses, money, and moral support materialize during a wake?

Calesa and karitela. The colorful and leisurely way to negotiate narrow streets when loaded down with a year's provisions.

Quality of life. Where else can an ordinary employee afford a stay-in helper, a yaya, unlimited movies, eat-all-you-can buffets, the latest fashion (Baclaran nga lang), even Viagra in the black market?

All Saints' Day. In honoring our dead, we also prove that we know how to live.

Handicrafts. Shellcraft, rattancraft, abaca novelties, woodcarvings, banig placemats and bags, bamboo windchimes, etc. Portable memories of home. Hindi lang pang-turista, pang-balikbayan pa!

Pinoy greens. Sitaw. Okra. Ampalaya. Gabi. Munggo. Dahon ng Sili. Kangkong. Luya. Talong. Sigarillas. Bataw. Patani. Lutong bahay will never be the same without them.

OCWs. The lengths (and miles) we'd go for a better life for our family, as proven by these modern-day heroes of the economy.

The Filipino artist. From Luna's magnificent "Spoliarium" and Amorsolo's sun-kissed ricefields, to Ang Kiukok's jarring abstractions and Borlongan's haunting ghosts, and everybody else in between. Hang a Filipino painting on your wall, and you're hanging one of Asia's best.

Tagalog soap operas. From "Gulong ng Palad" and "Flor de Luna" to today's incarnations like "Mula sa Puso"--they're the story of our lives, and we feel strongly for them, MariMar notwithstanding.

Midnight madness, weekends sales, bangketas and baratillos. It's retail therapy at its best, with Filipinos braving traffic, crowds, and human deluge to find a bargain.

Quote from: grazie7y on August 04, 2009, 08:14:45 AM
mao!  gilabay-labayan ko ra bya ni na thread pero i am glad i opened this kay pirteng napawi gamay ang pain sa akong heart.  kolokoy ni's ray oi as in lingaw kaayo mga komintaryo.  gi isa-isa jud!

grazie, gituyo na aron masabtan jud sa kadaghanan. hehehe

pamahaw: galang galang nga bolinaw
paniudto: linat-ang baka
panihapon: lechon manok

kadtong bunog mao man tong isda nga dagkog mata pero sikit ug gamay. kanang murag nitongtong lang sa ulo.

the roro vessels are docking in the nothern part of bohol where the roro ports are located, jetafe, ubay and talibon. although there are roro ports in tubigon and loon but the it's in jetafe and ubay where the vessels from leyte and manila usually dock and it is also where it connects to mindanao.
i think the cebu-bohol bridge will link cordova and inabanga.

Quote from: grazie7y on August 04, 2009, 06:05:02 AM
ray, na priso pa ba tong suspect na babae?

naa man sa sulod sa prisohan. maoy ilang queen didto kay maoy arang arang ug panagway. nisayaw man gani siya kauban ang ubang mga piniriso adtong tribute nila sa ilang jail warden.

pwede ra pud ang tuba isagol sa kape. 

pamahaw: baguio beans ug pinakbet
paniudto: pansit miki ug utan
panihapon: piniritong isdang carballas

silingan ra ta bai, sa lapu-lapu amoa.

lami kaayo nang bag-ong kuha sa sanggotan kay pwerteng tam-isa. mao na akong atngan sa una inig uli sa akong anhing lolo gikan sa iyang mga sanggotan sa una.

ang kuyog ni jocelyn? si jocy ug bibsy...

that's not gonna happen anymore. odom rescinded and took back everything he said. he's now officially signed with the lakers.

this is the first time i heard that saudi recognized another race as theirs.

kung wala ka nag-LBM dili ka pwede malibang.


hehehe, reservation sa taga NFA?


baka ra ang pwede


di ko apil ani


wrong spelling?


...if you are white???


that all i can say.


cannibal resto?


wala pa nahuman ang bakos.


hehehe, f-ron kauban sa effort ug efflane.


yeah, bawal hapakin pero pwede tindakin.


let's pray for him kay dili kabasa ug kasabot


pagbinantayay mong duha


magsige na ug vibrate imong purol or karsones kung magkurog na


ayaw lang panghupaw inig ride again just enjoy.


eat ka native check-ken?


mahal ang liog?


repeat to the maxxx.


just wondering where to paking?


no pear, only apples are available


hahaha, ignored ang notice.


ayaw ibutang ang kampana diha


what can you give to the nature?


wrong use na gani, gi edit pa gyud


does siomai have gender?


ibilin ang sige ug katulog


sold out ko ani.


bungi ubang pasahero ani.


lapos lapos nga unlan???


unsa kahay lami ani unya unsay gitimpla, suka or cream?


utokan nga pintal? hehehe, at least we know what it meant.

sige pa ang kaso glace.

daghan na ug toxins, dili na pwede.

kakaon namo ug sanggoloy? kanang lubi nga lugiton ug luwag nya gisalon sa mantika ug ang lamas ahos, bombay ug hamotan lang? hastang lamia ani.

pamahaw: utan law-oy
paniudto: nangka gitunoan
panihapon: mechado

hastang paita jud. basta nanginahanglan ug kwarta wala nay pilion or madunggan pa ang mga tawo.

murag synonyms ra man na ang tripped or stumbled so synonyms ra pud ang nasagipot ug napandol. commonly used sa bohol ang nasagipot unya ang napandol commonly used sa mga cebuano.

yehey, apil ta ani.

ay oo, kadungog nako ani niya. kadtong naa ma-assign sa louisiana. kaila akong papa ana niya. sikat naman gud na siya kaayo tungod sa iyang mga gi compose nga kanta.

"Smokers don't grow old because they die young."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away then you can save money." 

pasagdi nalang na bay hubag. hehehe. mura naman pud ug tinagalog ang binisaya ron kay nagsagol naman. niay akong ipaambit nga gamay.

Way dag-anan basta Mananagat
Usa ka babaye nianha sa center aron magpa prenatal kay 6 na ka buwang mabdos. Nakaila kaniya ang midwife kay sanglit pirmi nalang to niyang makit-an babayhana nga magpa prenatal halos kada tuig.
Midwife: Maayong buntag misis, ania nasab lagi ta karon.
Misis: Mao lagi maam, unsaon mabdos naman sad ko.
Midwife: Ikapila naman ni nimong anak misis kining imong gimabdos?
Misis: Ikasiyam na tawn ni maam.
Midwife: Huh? Kadaghana na gud diay nimog anak misis.
Misis: Mao lagi maam, pero unsaon man ni nako nga pwerte man jud kugihana sa akong bana.
Midwife: Mau ba?… Unsa man diay trabaho sa imong bana misis.
Misis: Mananagat ra gyud intawn.
Midwife: Mananagat imong bana pero makalugar gihapon sa gabii? Dili diay sa gabii imong bana magpalawod, sa buntag diay?
Misis: Naa man jud panahon nga dili managat akong bana labi pa ug hangin-hangin nya naay bagyo. Anha ra jud na siya sa amoa magpundo.
Midwife: Wa diay moy plano sa imong bana nga magfamily planning misis? Lisod baya kaayo ron ang panahon. Na tan-awa ra gud among lawas daut naka kaayo. Ampingan sad nato atong lawas kay mao ra jud na atong pohonan.
Misis: Nagplano baya mi maam pero dili jud matuman pirmi kay magsige man gud na pangablit akong bana kanang panahon nga dili siya makapanagat kay tingtugnaw man na. Dili jud ko makabalibad.
Midwife: Ngano man?
Misis: Unsaon man gud nga bisan ug motalikod kay naay bata nagtotoy, ari man sad akong lubot taroy!
Midwife: Wala diay ka mangita ug paagi nga dili siya makamaneho ug panuslok diha. Talikid ba ka o di gani maghayang samtang ang bata mag-akbo sa imong dughan nga nagtotoy?
Misis: Sus pastilan maam, igo man gani nang danggit nga nagtakilid ako pa kaha nga naghayang!

namaryente man na namo ang mga varquez sa canangcaan. naa man gud taga diha nga varquez apelyido naminyo ug lomantas nga taga balilihan.

murag pinaisang ginamos nga giputos ug dahon sa saging. or di gani inun-onang bolinao nga giputos sa pandan or dahon sa mangga.

Quote from: Ginger on July 29, 2009, 03:54:20 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen, naa ko karon sa Cebu. I might go home to Leyte anytime kay gipangita naku ni mother. It's almost one month na nga wala ko mo uli.

My sis told me nga naayo nalang ang akong pangos sa bora, wa lang gihapon ko mouli.

Ray, kitakits ra unya ta ug naa na kay time...(daghan kaayo ka alibi dah)

Miss you, guys!

Mobile broadband is sooooo lousy, mao di nalang ko mo login kay maka sapot.

P.S. Mobile broadband is sooooo lousy, mao di nalang ko mo login kay maka sapot.


And G, hope you still remember your promise.

hehehehe, haze sori na gud. dili na alibi akoa tinuod jud na. wala na gani ko kalaag laag sa mga malls dugay na.

Even in Philippines, Spoelstra asked about Wade

MIAMI (AP)â€"Making his first trip to his mother’s native Philippines in 35 years, Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra heard a familiar question.

What does Dwyane Wade’s(notes) future hold?

That’s what Spoelstra was asked Tuesday after he, Heat assistants David Fizdale and Chad Kammerer, and others held a clinic for about 200 kids from the Filipino city of Zamboanga. The kids quizzed Spoelstra on several topics, including whether Wade would stay with the Heat past next season.

Spoelstra said he thought he was “answering questions at a postgame press conference.”

Spoelstra is part of a sports envoy trip to the Philippines organized by the U.S. State Department and the NBA. Spoelstra, the NBA’s first Filipino-American coach, hasn’t been to the nation since he was 3.

nanimahong kumo ngari da. hehehehe
bitaw, relax lang ta. be cool gud, dili padala sa kainit sa ulo.

adtong lunes nagluto ko ug ubod sa kawayan nga gitunuan ug gibutangan ug atswete.
nagluto sad ko ug bola-bolang puso sa saging unya ang uban gi-ensalada. haskang lamia. akong anak pwerteng kaon wa nuon kahilisi ug tarong.

pamahaw: beeloaf ug sardines with misua
paniudto: energen
panihapon: tuna and sabaw with kamunggay

kinsa man ni si father?

Atong dugangan ha:

Contemplate-     kulang ug plato
Punctuation-      kwarta para bayad sa school
Ice buko-            ayos buhok ko?
Tenacious-         sapatos na pang tennis
Calculator-         tawgan taka unya
Devastation-     terminal sa bus
Protestant -       tindahan ug prutas
Statue-               ikaw na?
Tissue-              ikaw jud!
Predicate-         buhii ang iring
Dedicated-        gipatay ang iring
Aspect-             pangtusok ug bungkag sa ice
Deduct-            ang pato
Defeat-             ang tiil (sa pato?)
Detail-              ang ikog (sa pato?)
Deposit-           Gripo (call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
City-                 bag-o  mag- utso!
Cattle-             dinhi nagpuyo ang hali ug leyna
Persuading-   unang kasal
Depress-        ang pari (ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING)
Defense-        gamiton sa pagsulat sa kontrata  sa PERSUADING
It depends-    kan-a ang koral
Delusion-       luag (kung luag ang sinina,eh DELUSION)
Delivery-       way bayad (libre). kung working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang paniudto.
Profit-            probahi
Balance sheet- what comes out after eating a balance diet
Backlog-       bacon ug egg
Beehive-       pagbinuotan
CD-ROM-      tan-awa ang kwarto
Debug-          ang ok-ok
Defrag-         ang baki
Defense-      ang koral
Defer â€"         ang balahibo
Deflate-        ang plato
Detest-         ang eksamin
Devalue-      ang  sunod sa letrang V
Devote-        ang boto
Effort-          tugpahan sa efflane
July-            namakak ka?
Thesis-        kini ang…

my favorites are smooth criminal and you are not alone.

Witness the following list (in chronological order) of Jackson's top songs of the '80s.

1. "Off the Wall"

Jackson's fusion of disco, pop, funk and soul on his breakthrough album, Off the Wall, may have been the King of Pop at his most deliciously tuneful and catchy, which is saying a lot when you consider the massive appeal of his follow-up, Thriller. This tune is underrated and underplayed, and its relative obscurity within Jackson's familiar catalogue makes it a welcome treat. A soaring chorus supported by a tight groove in the verse would become the singer's trademark. Here's the prototype.

2. "Rock With You"

This tune offers even stronger evidence that Jackson had very nearly reached his peak before Thriller. At the very least, the singer's 1980 album Off the Wall was only a couple of steps behind where he would end up on his next record, so in that sense maybe the first half of the '80s was really just a comfortable, plateau-like apex for Jackson. But what a glorious period that was, and this song remains a very pure kind of pleasure nearly three decades after its release. Though written by Rod Temperton and not Jackson himself, the song - particularly its buoyant bridge - ultimately sounds so much the singer's own that it's all too easy to put the question of authorship right out of your mind.

3. "Beat It"

Clearly, though, it's difficult if not impossible to argue with the conventional wisdom that Jackson was at the height of his powers on Thriller, as he glided from genre to genre with such ease. The singer particularly dipped into a fresh patch of rock music he'd never drawn from before for this one, and the contribution from Van Halen guitar wizard Eddie Van Halen was a major attribute that made the track stand out. Lyrically it's no masterpiece, but that's nothing new for Jackson. His key strength, after all, has always been his mastery of sound.

4. "Billie Jean"

Jackson rekindles his knack for irresistible beats on this, the third of his amazing nine No. 1 singles of the '80s. It's certainly one of his best tunes, replete with anger, passion and complexity. Musically, it's blessed with a nifty melody and a bridge that trumps anything else the song has to offer. The premise of a woman who may or may not be wrongfully accusing the singer of an unsavory dalliance and a resulting pregnancy is decidedly nasty at times, which makes for interesting listening.

5. "Human Nature"

Though not bearing Jackson's songwriting stamp, this gentle and unique ballad boasts a haunting quality unlike anything released before or since by the King of Pop. It's odd maybe that one of the song's cowriters is one of the founding members of Toto, but whatever the source, there's no denying the magic on this track. Much of that majesty, of course, stems directly from Jackson's stunning, calculated vocal presentation. It's one of the few voices that could do the melody justice.

6. "Say Say Say"

Paul McCartney and Jackson also worked together on "The Girl Is Mine" but this tune from McCartney's Pipes of Peace stands out particularly as an optimizing force for their combined talents. That is, the segments sung in alternating fashion by McCartney and then Jackson not only spotlight each individual singer efficiently but amount to a whole greater than the sum of its components. But ultimately it's up to Jackson to take the song beyond mere pleasantry, with his soaring, one-of-a-kind performance.

7. "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'"

As with many Jackson songs, it's best not to examine the lyrics too closely here, unless you want to raise your eyebrows in puzzlement or have a chuckle. That being said, Jackson lays down a seductive groove here that cultivates a life of its own within the performance. No one can argue that, at his peak, Jackson was an irresistibly electric performer, and beneath all the generally futile attempts at macho posturing, that dynamism shines through in his greatest talent, his singing.

8. "Thriller"

The famous and theatrical music video with its groovy zombie dancers and cinematic heft certainly overshadowed the song it was there to support, but what always comes through about this epic track is a giddy sense of fun. Oh, for the days when Jackson had and utilized a sense of humor. But the other extraordinary thing about this tune is how much it succeeds as a piece of pop culture excess (Vincent Price, anyone?) far larger than its musical qualities.

9. "Man in the Mirror"

On the one hand, I'm ashamed to include this Bad song on a list meant to celebrate the best in a musical career, but on the other I can't help but give it its due. After all, when you get a message song from Michael Jackson, you can't be too surprised when it's burdened by a broad but shallow sense of right and wrong and good and evil. He's just never really been all that complicated. Still, there's something compelling just the same about this let's-just-stop-fighting-and-fix-the-world-together kind of idealism.

10. "Smooth Criminal"

Maybe it's appropriate that a few years back a short-lived band called Alien Ant Farm reminded us how much fun this rather silly tune can be. By the time Bad came out in 1987, Jackson was already clearly in a subtle state of decline. Yes, more No. 1 singles for the singer came from that album than any other, but only the most die-hard fans would argue that Bad is a better record than either Thriller or Off the Wall. "Smooth Criminal" is a last hurrah, where Jackson said goodbye to the decade he ruled.

how in the hell did she became a representative of saudi arabia when she was sponsored by filipinos although living in saudi? i think it's time for the RP government to make serious recognitions to talents such as Kimverlie Molina. it's so degrading that she's carrying some other nations flag where she could have been an asset of the country and a representative to WCPA. tsk tsk tsk

He's been the Miami Heat headcoach since last season. He's going to be in RP this coming July 27, to visit relatives and peers. He will conduct coaching clinics together with WNBA Hall of Famer Sue Wicks in Zamboanga, Davao and Manila.

ABS-CBN TV Patrol, CNN, CBS, Fox News and BBC.

Ms Da Bins, kung hutoyon ka pa house arrest nya ha. hehehehe

lapay = great owl
tikarol = kingfisher
it-it = swallow
tukmo = philippine dove
tamsi = hummingbird
siloy = oriental magpie robin, black shama
sal-ing = coleto mynah or bald starling
galansiyang = starling
kalaw = hornbill

paryente pa man mi ana nila ni nol, leonor ug divina sa varquez nga side. member man ang among mga lola sa varquez clan. sa una, magsige mi ug kita kung naay reunion ang mga varquez sa balilihan.

pwede unta bitbiton pero gihutoy man ug maayo maong under house arrest.

for more details regarding Miss Bohol International (aka Ms. TBTK), click the link below.
http://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=20143.7
http://www.tbtk.org/2009schedule.htm

sus kung naa pa lang mobantay sa akong anak, kamaayo baya anang EB.

ok jud ang dunay hospital sa usa ka lungsod nga gipanag-iya sa gobyerno. pero sa atong kahimtang, adunay gibutang nga mga district hospitals aron maoy moatiman sa mga lumulupyo sa matag distrito labina kung medyo layo sa tagbilaran.
Below are the list of Government owned hospitals in Bohol:

CANDIJAY COMMUNITY HOSPITAL     CANDIJAY, BOHOL   
CATIGBIAN DISTRICT HOSP.     CATIGBIAN, BOHOL   
CLARIN COMMUNITY HOSP.     CLARIN, BOHOL   
CONG. NATALIO P. CASTILLO SR. MEM. HOSP.     LOON, BOHOL   
CONG. SIMEON G. TORIBIO MEM. HOSP.     CARMEN, BOHOL   
DON EMILLIO DEL VALLE MEMORIAL HOSPITAL     UBAY, BOHOL   
F. DAGOHOY MUNICIPAL HOSPITAL     INABANGA, BOHOL   
GARCIA MEMORIAL PROV. HOSP.     TALIBON, BOHOL   
GOV. CELESTINO GALLARES MEM. HOSP.     TAGBILARAN CITY, BOHOL   
MARIBOJOC COMMUNITY HOSPITAL     MARIBOJOC, BOHOL   
PRES. CARLOS P. GARCIA MUNICIPAL HOSPITAL     PITOGO, UBAY, BOHOL   
SAN MIGUEL MUNICIPAL INFIRMARY HOSP.     SAN MIGUEL, BOHOL   
TEODORO B. GALAGAR DISTRICT HOSPITAL     JAGNA, BOHOL   
TUBIGON COMMUNITY HOSP.     POTOHAN, TUBIGON, BOHOL

for me ang TBTK walay natabang sa mga bol-anon ug sa tibuok lungsod sa  bohol. kasagaran mga balikbayan nga niapil puro pakitang tao lang. pero ang pinakatinuod halos tanan walay igabawos, puro ingrata ug ingrato. ang ilang tagdon kadtong membro sa alta sa syudad pero ang mga mayokmok yam-iran lang. maypa siguro kanang ilang gigahin nga budget alang aning mga tawhana ibuhat ug proyekto nga makatabang sa mga kabos sa bol-anon nga puro nagkinahanglan. banay pa unta ning mga tawhana ug maoy mosagubang sa ilang gastuhan. naa man gani i-donate mag expect pud ug return.

pamahaw: tortang talong
paniudto: bolabola
panihapon: lechon manok

betcha by golly wow, it's your birthday now...

basin dili sila gusto makaadto sa states tong winner. ila nalang unta to gi convert to cash. naa na hinuon US VISA wala puy ticket. kamaot ana.

nibakasyon diay ka sa bohol haze?

kanang tanan diha sa listahan ako nang duwaon sa una.

the alamo

Quote from: willmerit on July 25, 2009, 10:19:36 AM
di ba diay sa new jersey si dayin?  o nakahibaw ko nga architect na si evon, gibalitaan ko ni noly chatto.  unja nagkita pod mi adtong niuli mig bohol last year sa mcdo.

ambot lang basin ug naa jud sa new jersey si dayin. dugay nasad ko wala kabalita ani nila. kaila diay mong noli chatto? asa na siya ron, naminyo naba kaha to siya.

pamahaw: adobong talong ug paliya
paniudto: lumpia
panihapon: pansit miki

mahal sad ang charge ani just like 911?

ang balilihan na originate sa usa ka matang sa sagbot nga abunda sa maong lungsod. kani mao ang balili. ang meaning ba sa balilihan kay kasagbotan. ang 4 barangays sa sawang del carmen weste, norte, sur ug este mahitungod sa four cardinal points or direction nya giparisan sa del carmen which is the patron saint of balilihan. ilang gipasabot nga ang patron nikatap in all four directions.

ice age1,2,3

kung mahimo ipalit lang sa ug luto, uwahi na ang lotto.

pamahaw: beefloaf
paniudto: tinunuang ubod sa kawayan ug inun-onang isda
panihapon: baguio beans ug escabeche

mayta maabot sa pinas ang ilang grilled chicken nya naa say bucket meal. ganahan ra ba akong mga kids mokaon sa KFC tungod sa gravy ug fixins.

Quote from: fdaray on July 23, 2009, 08:17:36 AM
Ang pagsugal bisyo man. Dili maayo. Apan sa tanang bisyo ang sugal maoy pinakamaayo. Ngano..? kay usahay swertihon ka , dili  pareha sa segarrilyo nga nagsunog ka sa imong  kwarta .kOn mag  inom-inom sa tuba, kon masubrahan magsuka ka.

Segi..maglotto na lang ta, swetres

sakto ka sir felix. pilay pad ug swertehon.

Quote from: willmerit on July 23, 2009, 02:18:56 PM
o si evon kabatch mi niya sa bsat sauna.  schoolmate pud mi sa iyang manghod nga si edda or dayin, 4th yr mi then first year siya (parehas mi ug shop teacher ato sauna, si mrs. thelma sambas)

si evon, architect naman nya si dayin tua na sa canada.

Quote from: grazie7y on July 23, 2009, 12:10:14 AM
di man yata na architect si arturo.  di ko sure. i know he was connected with Coca Cola and I know that he is active in our church's choir kay musician man pod na sya.  Sya ga tugtug sa piano and all.

di pa tawon retired ni si arturo akong classmate, ray!  he is still young as i am! eseh ning hirit pa jud ko!

ang arturo nga akong nailhan kay retired nga public school teacher. iyang asawa retired teacher pud sa bohol high. aktibo ni siya sa choir sa simbahan kay 2 ni iyang affiliation, ang trillers ug wens. wal ko kahibalo nakawork ba ni siya sa coke kaniadto.

sigurado ko nga gikan ang mga geangan sa balilihan sa danao city. sila mismo ang nagconfirm.
ang maniwang nga apelyido taga balilihan jud na. sakto tong giingon ni koddi nga sa cortes, naghari ang mga jubac, hangad, tiu lumanas, jumamil.

mao ni sakto nga bawon. apilan jud ug kutsilyo.

sa akong nahibaw-an ang tanang nukos pure pero lain lain lang ang variety. naay maayog klase naa say dili. ug ang kadtong maayong klase mao to ang mahal ug kadtong dili maayo maoy himoong buwad.

pamahaw: monggos ug tawong
paniudto: nilat-ang gusok sa baboy
panihapon: sotanghon ug tawgi

the geangan of balilihan are originally from danao city, cebu. there are 3 geangan families in balilihan and they used to be giangan but then it was changed to geangan and the reason for that is not clear. there relatives in danao city are giangan. i'll try to ask my friend about this.

the lomantas of balilihan are originally from corella. lumantas and lomantas are related as it may have change during baptismal or birth entries before. the lomantas in balilihan are only few just like the geangans.

the chatto's though they are prominent due to affiliations with the family of kiking chatto, they are not that many.

the rachos, maniwang, orig and calopes are the common last names in balilihan. my family belongs to the racho clan. 

diha na mointra ang self control. kung ang imong intention sa pagduwa sa sugal makakwarta jud, diha na magsugod ka ug kaparot. unya manikas na dayon aron makabawi. ang lingawlingaw nga sugal dili intensiyon ang mudaug jud ka. hinuon maayo jud tong mudaug ka kay honor man pud na nimo unya mo increase ang level sa imong pride ug ego. kung moapil ug sugal ako sa pangutan-on pila ang pusta. kung makahibaw na gani ko magset dayon ko ug amount pila ra akong gamiton as puhunan. kung mahurot na gani ang puhunan, undang na dayon.

mr. fu iyang monicker as a DJ ug usa siya ka b***t. dili mr. fu b***t.

Quote from: fdaray on July 22, 2009, 12:21:51 PM
Si Atty Getulio Calope , retired provincial assesor, first cousin sa akong amahan. Wala ko kaila sa iyang mga ubang igsoon Ang igsoon sa akong Lolo naminyo ug mga Calope.

si atty. getulio "tulio" calope, is a former mayor of balilihan. sad to say, he already passed away. kung wala ko masayop mga 5 years na ang nakalabay. silingan ra man mi niya kay luyo ra among balay sa ilang balay. tupad ra man ni sa balay ni anhing gobernador lino chatto.

wa ko kasabot ani mananapa. naa diay pure ug di pure aning nukos? sa akong nasabtan, pure ni sila tanan pero lain lain lang ug variety. sama sa lumayagan, bogaong, tama ug uban pa.

pamahaw: paliya with carrots
paniudto: pork and beans
panihapon: sardines with misua

mao ni akong ipaluto ninyo.

uso naman ni kaayo ron nga mga b***t nga DJ's sa nagkalain laing station sa tibuok nasud. kana lang sikat sa manila nga si mr. fu b***t man pud na ug medyo naa say meaning ang iyang mga words nga gigamit. depende ra jud na tawo kung maminaw. naa bitaw NTC, KBP ug DOTC nga puro dunay gahum pagpitol sa mga nakalapas sa balaud. kung ugaling duna kay issue bahin ana, paghimo ug formal complaint sa bisan asa aning ahensiyaha. kung dunay probable cause, basin mag imbestigar sila.

naabot napud diay ni sa bohol sa mga sindicate. dugay naman ni kaayo nga modus. daghan na kaayo naigo ani nila ilabi na sa kaulohan. gi feature na gani ni nga modus sa XXX sa abs-cbn.

Edmundo Lungay is the former president of Bukidnon State College. Lumad nga taga balilihan. pwerte na ni hayahaya karon pag retire. tour around the world na.

tanang klasi sa sugal kahibaw ko sama sa madjong, tong-its, chikitcha, blackjack, hantak, poker ug uban pa. ug dili lang kay kahibaw lang, moduwa sad ko ani. ang sabong lang jud ang akong wala apili kay lisod na ug maungo ta. ang akoa lingaw-lingaw lang pawala sa kalaay.

how sweet naman.

pwede pud ikembot ug iyugyug.

Quote from: fdaray on July 21, 2009, 07:56:31 AM
Bol-anon.... ty for the info about Lumantas. Segi ko ug pamista diha sa mga Calope niadtong diha ko sa Corella. Gikan sa 1970 hangtod karon sa na ko kabalik diha.

kinsa man nga calope imong pamistahan? daghan man mga maestro ug maestra nga mga calope. nang retire ug nitaliwan na sa laing kalibutan ang uban.