MikeLigalig.com

Prayer for the Light of Truth

O my God, I confess that Thou canst enlighten my darkness. I confess that Thou alone canst. I wish my darkness to be enlightened. I do not know whether Thou wilt: but that Thou canst and that I wish, are sufficient reasons for me to ask, what Thou at least hast not forbidden my asking. I hereby promise that by Your grace which I am asking, I will embrace whatever I at length feel certain is the truth, if ever I come to be certain. And by Your grace I will guard against all self-deceit which may lead me to take what nature would have, rather than what reason approves.

Praise to the Holiest in the Height

Praise to the Holiest in the height,
And in the depth be praise;
In all His words most wonderful;
Most sure in all His ways!

O loving wisdom of our God!
When all was sin and shame,
A second Adam to the fight
And to the rescue came.

O wisest love! that flesh and blood
Which did in Adam fail,
Should strive afresh against their foe,
Should strive and should prevail.

And that a higher gift than grace
Should flesh and blood refine,
God's presence and His very Self,
And Essence all-divine.

O generous love! that He who smote
In man for man the foe,
The double agony in man
For man should undergo;

And in the garden secretly,
And on the cross on high,
Should teach His brethren and inspire
To suffer and to die.

Lead Kindly Light

Lead, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom, Lead me Thou on! The night is dark, and I am far from home, Lead Thou me on! Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step is enough for me. I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that Thou shouldst lead me on; I loved to choose and see my path, but now lead Thou me on! I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, pride ruled my will: remember not past years. So long Your power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on, o'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till the night is gone; and with the morn those angel faces smile which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

Prayer for a Happy Death

Oh, my Lord and Savior, support me in that hour in the strong arms of Your Sacraments, and by the fresh fragrance of Your consolations. Let the absolving words be said over me, and the holy oil sign and seal me, and Your own Body be my food, and Your Blood my sprinkling; and let my sweet Mother, Mary, breathe on me, and my Angel whisper peace to me, and my glorious Saints smile upon me; that in them all, and through them all, I may receive the gift of perseverance, and die, as I desire to live, in Your faith, in Your Church, in Your service, and in Your love. Amen.

Prayers and Hymns by John Henry Cardinal Newman (1801-1890)


A Daily Prayer

May He support us all the day long, till the shades lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in His mercy may He give us a safe lodging, and a holy rest and peace at the last.

Almighty God, We bless you for our lives, we give you praise for your abundant mercy and grace we receive. We thank you for your faithfulness even though we are not that faithful to you.

Lord Jesus, we ask you to give us all around peace in our mind, body, soul and spirit. We want you to heal and remove everything that is causing stress, grief, and sorrow in our lives.

Please guide our path through life and make our enemies be at peace with us. Let your peace reign in our family, at our place of work, businesses and everything we lay our hands on.

Let your angels of peace go ahead of us when we go out and stay by our side when we return. In Jesus' name, Amen.


http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/

(Forgiveness is an act of the will, not a feeling.
If we pray for a person, we can be assured that we have
forgiven that person. To help accept an individual and
open ourselves to a particular person more, picture
him with the Lord Jesus and say to the Lord,
"I love him because You love him. I forgive him because You forgive him."

Forgiveness is a life-long obligation.
Daily we need to forgive those who hurt or injure us.)


From the book by Father Robert DeGrandis S.S.J. and Betty Tapscott:
Forgiveness & Inner Healing; Twenty-fourth Printing September 2001.
Permission to copy is granted by Father DeGrandis.
(copyright info must remain intact.)
http://www.alighthouse.com/

Lord,
I beg pardon of all these people for the hurt I have inflicted
on them, especially my mother and father, and my marriage partner.


I am especially sorry
for the three greatest hurts I have inflicted on each of these.


Thank You, Jesus,
that I am being freed of the evil of unforgiveness.
Let Your Holy Spirit fill me with light and
let every dark area of my mind be enlightened.
AMEN.

I ask to forgive
anyone who I consider my greatest enemy, the one who is the
hardest to forgive or the one who I said I will never forgive.

Lord Jesus,
I especially pray for the grace of forgiveness for the ONE
PERSON in life who has HURT ME THE MOST.

Lord, I forgive my SCHOOLTEACHERS
AND INSTRUCTORS of the past as well as the present. For those
who punished me, humiliated me, insulted me, treated me unjustly,
made fun of me, called me dumb or stupid, made me stay after
school, I truly forgive them today.


Lord, I forgive my FRIENDS
who have let me down, lost contact with me, do not support me,
were not available when I needed help, borrowed money and did not
return it, gossiped about me.

Lord, I forgive
all PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE who have hurt me in any way:
doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, politicians and civil servants.


I forgive all service people:
policemen, firemen, bus drivers, hospital workers and
especially repairmen who have taken advantage of me in their work.


Lord, I forgive my EMPLOYER
for not paying me enough money, for not appreciating my work,
for being unkind and unreasonable with me, for being angry or
unfriendly, for not promoting me, and for not complimenting me on my work.

I forgive those
of different religious DENOMINATIONS AND BELIEFS
who have harassed me, attacked me, argued with me,
forced their view on me or my family.


Those who have harmed me
ETHNICALLY, have discriminated against me, mocked me,
made jokes about my race or nationality, hurt my family
physically, emotionally or economically, I do forgive them today.

I do forgive my CLERGYMAN,
my CONGREGATION and my CHURCH for their lack of support,
affirmation, bad sermons, pettiness, lack of friendliness, not
providing me or my family with the inspiration we needed, for
any hurts they have inflicted on me or my family, even in
the distant past, I forgive them today.


Lord, I forgive all
those who are of different PERSUASIONS, those of opposite
political views who have attacked me, ridiculed me, discriminated
against me, made fun of me, economically hurt me.

Jesus, help me to forgive my CO-WORKERS
who are disagreeable or make life miserable for me. For
those who push their work off on me, gossip about me, won’t
cooperate with me, try to take my job, I do forgive them.


My NEIGHBORS
need to be forgiven, Lord. For all their noise, letting
their property run down, not tying up their dogs who run
through my yard, not taking in their trash barrels, being
prejudiced and running down the neighborhood, I do forgive them.

Lord God, I forgive my IN-LAWS,
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW, FATHER-IN-LAW, SON/DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND
OTHER RELATIVES by marriage, who treat my family with a lack
of love. For all their words, thoughts, actions or omissions
which injure and cause pain, I forgive them.


Please help to forgive my RELATIVES,
my grandmother and grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, who
may have interfered in our family, been possessive of my parents,
who may have caused confusion or turned one parent against the other.

Lord, I forgive my SPOUSE
for lack of love, affection, consideration, support, attention,
communication; for faults, failings, weaknesses and those other
acts or words that hurt or disturb me.


Jesus, I forgive my CHILDREN
for their lack of respect, obedience, love, attention, support,
warmth, understanding; for their bad habits, falling away from the
church, any bad actions which disturb me.

Lord, I truly forgive my FATHER.
I forgive him for any non-support, any lack of love, affection
or attention. I forgive him for any lack of time, for not giving
me his companionship, for his drinking, arguing and fighting with
my mother or the other children. For his severe punishments, for
desertion, for being away from home, for divorcing my mother or for
any running around, I do forgive him.


Lord, I extend forgiveness
to my SISTERS AND BROTHERS. I forgive those who rejected me,
lied about me, hated me, resented me, competed for my parents’
love, those who hurt me, who physically harmed me. For those
who were too severe on me, punished me or made my life unpleasant
in any way, I do forgive them.

Thank You, Lord,
for your grace at this moment. I also forgive MYSELF
for any delvings in superstition, using ouija boards,
horoscopes, going to séances, using fortune telling or
wearing lucky charms. I reject all that superstition and
choose You alone as my Lord and Savior. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.


Lord, I truly forgive my MOTHER.
I forgive her for all the times she hurt me, she resented
me, she was angry with me and for all the times she punished
me. I forgive her for the times she preferred my brothers and
sisters to me. I forgive her for the times she told me I was
dumb, ugly, stupid, the worst of the children or that I cost
the family a lot of money. For the times she told me I was
unwanted, an accident, a mistake or not what she expected, I forgive her.

Purify my heart and mind today.
Lord, I forgive MYSELF for my sins, faults and failings,
for all that is bad in myself or that I think is bad,
I forgive myself; and I accept Your forgiveness. I further
forgive MYSELF for taking Your name in vain, not worshipping
You by attending church, for hurting my parents, getting drunk,
for sins against purity, bad books, bad movies, fornication,
adultery, homosexuality. Also, for abortion, stealing, lying,
defrauding, hurting peoples’ reputation.
You have forgiven me today, and I forgive myself.

Let us pray...


(The following prayer covers most significant areas
of forgiveness. Often, such a prayer will bring to
mind other areas that need forgiveness. Let the Holy
Spirit move freely and guide your mind to persons or
groups that you need to forgive.)


Lord Jesus Christ,
I ask today to forgive EVERYONE in my life.
I know that You will give me the strength to
forgive and I thank You that You love me more
than I love myself and want my happiness more than
I desire it for myself. Father, I forgive YOU for
the times death has come into the family, hard times,
financial difficulties, or what I thought were punishments
sent by You and people said, "It’s God’s will," and I
become bitter and resentful toward You.

Charges lodged against the couple included illegal imprisonment, deprivation of freedom with the use of force, physical and mental torture leading to death, and causing bodily harm, the report said.

However, the couple â€" a 45-year-old public relations officer and her 42-year-old policeman husband â€" denied the charges against them.

A forensic expert said the Ethiopian maid weighed only 37 kg when she died, while her blood samples contained traces of a pesticide, even as the suspect allegedly tried to bribe one maid with money so she would not talk to the police. 

Both the Ethiopian and Filipina sustained severe injuries leading to infection.

On the other hand, the court was told the Emirati policeman merely watched while his wife abused the maids and locked them up in the bathroom.

He allegedly secured his villa in Nad Al Hamar area so the two maids could not escape.

http://www.gmanetwork.com/
June 11, 2013 5:40pm


A Filipina housemaid in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) survived torture and starvation at the hands of her employers but her Ethiopian colleague did not.

The couple faced the Court of First Instance for the alleged abuse as prosecutors sought life imprisonment for them, according to a report on the Khaleej Times news site on Tuesday.

Agoi, 75 anyos na? Unsaon kaha niya ang kwarta? Ipanghatag through Wistiln Yonyon?

http://www.gmanetwork.com/
June 13, 2013 11:50am


A 75-year-old Filipino was charged before a Malaysian court Wednesday for allegedly falsifying a bank cash deposit certificate involving a whopping RM3 billion (P41.242 billion), a Malaysian news site reported.

The Filipino identified as William Morales Vizon supposedly committed the offense last April 23, producing the forged Maybank cash deposit certificate at Level 28 at Menara Maybank in Jalan Tun Perak, according to a report on Malaysia's The Star Online.

No bail was offered by the court for him as he is not a Malaysian citizen.

Haderiah Siri was the deputy public prosecutor while Vizon was unrepresented.

Under Section 471 of the Penal Code, the Filipino faces up to seven years in jail and a fine upon conviction. - VVP, GMA News

Wa man diay hanaw unsay buot ipasabot og "plagiarism". Kaluoy pud intawon.

Town officials say they need to be prepared to scare monkeys over a wider area.

It costs about 300,000 yen to train a monkey dog. Training takes up to six months and owners are required to participate.

The central government had been subsidizing each municipality up to 2 million yen a year from fiscal 2008 to 2011, but it now subsidizes only new monkey dog training programs, and only for the first year.

Numata in Gunma Prefecture has authorized seven monkey dogs, but an official in charge of the program says the number is too small.

“About 450 monkeys from 10 or 11 groups live here," the official said. "We want to increase the number of monkey dogs, but we cannot find enough dog owners willing to participate.” -- http://ajw.asahi.com/

In 2005, Omachi, Nagano Prefecture, became the first municipality to introduce a monkey dog training program. Many other towns followed.

According to the agriculture ministry, in fiscal 2011, 79 municipalities in 24 prefectures have monkey dog training programs. A total of 393 German Shepherds, Labrador Retrievers, Shiba Inu and other dogs work as trained monkey dogs.

Still, some problems remain, even if many municipalities, including Uda and Nabari, pay training costs.

Although damage to crops decreases temporarily in places where monkey dogs are put to work, some monkeys temporarily raid other fields and return to their original pillage site when the threat of monkey dogs has subsided.

According to the agriculture ministry, the total amount of damage to farm crops by wild animals was 23.9 billion yen in fiscal 2010, up 2.6 billion yen from a year earlier.

Damage caused by monkeys increased 200 million yen to 1.9 billion yen in fiscal 2010 from the previous year. Monkeys cause the fourth largest damage, following deer, boars and crows, the ministry said.

Although electric fences are effective in keeping out deer and wild pigs, monkeys are smart enough to get around them by climbing poles that are not electrified or other means to get entry into crop fields.

Farmers and municipalities have also discovered that using monkey dogs is less expensive and less time consuming than setting up electric fences.

Workers in Nabari make rounds with radios that can receive signals from a device attached to several monkeys in each group. If the signals locate the monkeys in a field of crops, the monkey dog owners are notified and they rush to the site to scare off the macaques.

Monkey dogs were sent out about 70 times in both towns in fiscal 2011.

In Uda, damage to agricultural produce caused by monkeys dropped by 2 million yen ($24,431) in the three years since fiscal 2008, after monkey dogs were introduced.

The amount of damage to crops in Nabari fell by 400,000 yen ($4,886) in the first year after the introduction of monkey dogs.

Municipalities in 24 prefectures have introduced trained monkey dogs, which are helping aging farmers drive off the simian pests.

About 100 monkeys from two groups live in the forests around Yamada's village, causing damages to pumpkins, onions and other crops.

Uda and neighboring Nabari in Mie Prefecture established a monkey dog training program in fiscal 2009.

The towns had police dog trainers train the local residents' dogs for six months in obedience and chase, which resulted in the authorization of 21 monkey dogs.

December 21, 2012
By RYOTA NISHIYAMA/ Staff Writer


UDA, Nara Prefecture--On a recent fall day, Saki Yamada, a 57-year-old in this mountain village, was inspecting crop fields with her faithful canine sidekick, Solomon, when she spotted several monkeys chowing down on some persimmons.

“Solomon, go! Bark!” she yelled, and the yipping 11-year-old mixed breed lit into the Japanese macaques. The monkeys instantly dropped the persimmons and disappeared into the forest.

“It’s important to frighten the monkeys and let them know this is a dangerous place for them to be,” Yamada said.

Yamada's monkey problem is not unusual, and "monkey dogs" are in great demand in areas suffering heavy damages to farm crops by wild monkeys.

Salamat sa bulawanon ninyong mga panahom. Can't thank you enough. But I'm still waiting for some chatters, geckers, gibbers, whoops, screeches...

Quote from: Lorenzo on June 13, 2013, 04:37:41 AM
ana na unsa naman mo duha uy! ayaw lang nan'g psychiatrist kai naa'y psychotropic side effects nga flat effect ang tawo. ku an na lang, hubag, psychoanalytic psychoanalysis kai wa jamo psychotropic side effects.

imagine gud, ug mo inom ang tawo sa haloperidol mo gawas ang dila sa bahbah. og mo inom ang tawo sa citalopram, di na ka otog ang piks. abaw linti gid bla....

Noted, with thanks. I take back my suggestion re psychiatrist.

Di na diay kinahanglan og--gani, angay nang ilikay palayo sa--psychiatrist kay tataw man nga ang atong prospective patient is already manifesting the dreadful psychotropic side effects stated above.

Bwahaha!

Global precipitation change between 1931 to 1950 and 1961 to 1980. The African Sahel, center, is much drier, while East Africa and East Brazil are wetter.

Starting in the 1960s, the rainfall band shifted southward, drying out Central Africa and parts of South America and South Asia, the study found. At the same time, northeast Brazil and Africa's Great Lakes started to see more rain, thanks to the southerly drift.

The team modeled the reasons for the changing tropical rainfall with all 26 of the climate models used by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Every model agreed that sulfate aerosol pollution in the Northern Hemisphere triggered the terrible Sahel drought.

"Precipitation is tough to forecast, and you don't often see all the models agreeing on things like that," Frierson said. "I think it's pretty clear that in addition to greenhouse gases, air pollution really does affect climate, and not just in one place. These emissions over the U.S. and in Europe affected rainfall over Africa," he told LiveScience.

Frierson said cooling in the Northern Hemisphere sent the tropical rainfall band southward until clean air legislation significantly lessened aerosol pollution emitted in North America and Europe. Since the 1990s, tropical rainfall has drifted back toward the north, he said.

The researchers are now studying the global effects of aerosol pollution emitted in Asia.

At the time, the cooling effect went unnoticed, overshadowed by Earth's overall warming, Frierson said. Instead, the drought was blamed on overgrazing and poor land use practices. But in the past decade, researchers have realized that aerosol pollution plays an important role in Earth's climate, he said. In certain parts of the atmosphere, the tiny particles reflect the sun's light and build longer-lasting clouds, cooling the atmosphere. Not all aerosols reflect light, and the cooling from sulfate particles offsets global warming only a regional scale, because their effects are short-lived and concentrated in high-pollution areas.

"Air pollution affects climate as well, and different parts of the planet are connected in the climate system," Frierson told LiveScience.

To understand the global climate pattern, Frierson and his colleagues first tracked rainfall data worldwide from rain gauge records from the 1930s to the 1990s. They saw the heavy tropical rainfall band called the Intertropical Convergence Zone wander back and forth near the equator, a natural phenomenon, during the 1930s through the 1950s. Ocean currents can affect the position of the rainfall band, giving it year-to-year variability.

By Becky Oskin, LiveScience Staff Writer | LiveScience.com â€" 23 hrs ago


The biggest drought to hit the planet in the 20th century, the Sahel drought sucked Central Africa dry from the 1970s to the 1990s. The severe famines that resulted killed hundreds of thousands of people during this period and gained worldwide attention.

A new study blames the dry spell on pollution in the Northern Hemisphere, primarily from America and Europe. Tiny particles of sulfate, called aerosols, cooled the Northern Hemisphere, shifting tropical rainfall patterns southward, away from Central Africa, according to research published April 24 in the journal Geophysical Research Letters.

"Even changes from relatively far away spread into the tropics," said Dargan Frierson, a study co-author and climatologist at the University of Washington in Seattle.

Success in space is a powerful symbol of China’s rising power, of its improving technical expertise, and of the Communist Party’s remarkable progress in turning around the once isolated and impoverished country.

The module is considered the first step toward China operating a permanent space station by approximately 2020, making it the world’s third country to do so.

Yang Liwei, the country’s first astronaut, told Xinhua that Chinese astronauts might not pray like their foreign counterparts do before they set off on a space mission but Communism, as their shared faith, supports them.

“If the country has its own space station, Chinese astronauts, who are party members, might set up a party branch up there,” Mr Yang said.

These days, the United States is focused on more earthbound matters, and on exploring distant planets like Mars, but over the next decade, China’s space programme will really go into orbit, as it seeks to reflect its growing economic power with a significant presence in space. The crew of two men and one woman were all veteran Air Force pilots before being selected as astronauts, although it was not said whether they would sing David Bowie’s Space Oddity in Chinese while in orbit.

China has launched 10 astronauts and six spacecraft into space in less than a decade and space travel is central to its ambitions to make the early 21st century an age of space discovery and development.

The country’s space programme is shifting from being exclusively military-focused with a propaganda arm into something that can be used to boost innovation and lift national spirits.

“You have made Chinese people feel proud of ourselves,” President Xi Jinping told the astronauts at the launch site at the Jiuquan Satellite Launch Centre on the edge of the Gobi Desert. “The mission’s crew members carry a space dream of the Chinese nation, and represent the lofty aspirations of the Chinese people to explore space,” said Mr Xi.

In its journey, Shenzhou-10 will dock with the orbiting space lab Tiangong-1 twice, once through automatic operation and the other manually. The commander, Nie Haisheng (48) is a second-time space traveller. His teammate Wang Yaping is China’s first space traveller. She was born in the 1980s, a generation that came of age during an era of reform and opening up, and is the second female taikonaut. The third astronaut is Zhang Xiaoguang, who will film a lecture on board the spacecraft to a group of teenage students on the ground.

Long March 2F rocket carrying three astronauts blasts into orbit for country’s longest space trip



Chinese astronauts (from left): Wang Yaping, Zhang Xiaoguang and Nie Haisheng, wave before leaving for the Shenzhou-10 manned spacecraft mission at Jiuquan satellite launch centre inJiuquan, Gansu province, on Tuesday. Photograph: Reuters/China Daily


First published:
Wed, Jun 12, 2013, 16:08
   
Clifford Coonan
in Beijing

The Xinhua news agency hailed the triumph of three Communists in space after China successfully launched its fifth manned spacecraft late on Tuesday, sending three astronauts into orbit on the country’s longest space trip. A Long March 2F rocket carrying three astronauts, or taikonauts as they are known in China, aboard the Shenzhou 10 astronaut capsule, lifted off as scheduled at 5.38pm on Tuesday.

Quote from: bugsay on June 11, 2013, 08:43:58 AM
address kay padalhan ta ka'g usa....

Hmm, NPA man ko, pwede ako lang pik-apon?

Photo: HopeHill/Flickr

And if the rodent population shot up, this would of course trigger a cascade of other ecological effects. On that same island in New Zealand, for instance, ecologists observed that, as rat numbers increased in the absence of cats, the population of seabirds whose eggs rats preyed upon declined. If the approximately 220 million domestic cats in the world all bit the dust, seabird populations would likely fall worldwide, while the populations of non-cat predators that prey on rats would be expected to increase.

"All species have an impact," Beck said.

And let's not forget the emotional toll that a mass cat death would take on us humans: "In this country, cats are much loved by many. While there are more dog-owning households (38 percent) than cat- owning households (34 percent), there are actually more domestic cats than dogs because cat owners own more of them. Cats as pets have always been appreciated for the contact, relatively low maintenance, and pedomorphic (child-like) face and general morphology." -- http://www.mnn.com/

Cats, both pets and strays, may fool us into thinking that they depend on our food and trash for survival, but according to Alan Beck, professor of veterinary medicine and director of the Center for the Human-Animal Bond at Purdue University, they're expert predators with adaptable hunting behaviors. "They are a significant predator of small animals, and can survive as almost solitary animals when the prey is scarce, while thriving in high density when the prey is abundant," Beck told Life's Little Mysteries.

And that's just why we'd miss them. By killing mice and rats in barns and grain storage areas, cats are vital for keeping those pests in check. In India, Beck said, cats are believed to play a significant role in lessening the amount of grain loss caused by consumption or contamination by rodents. In other words, it may be true that humans feed cats, but without cats, humans would have less food in the first place. [Why Do Cats Bury Their Poop?]

So, how dramatically would the rodent population increase if cats suddenly vanished? It just so happens that several scientific studies have been conducted that paint a vivid picture. A 1997 study in Great Britain found that the average house cat brought home more than 11 dead animals (including mice, birds, frogs and more) in the course of six months. That meant the 9 million cats of Britain were collectively killing close to 200 million wild specimens per year â€" not including all those they did not offer up to their owners. A study in New Zealand in 1979 found that, when cats were nearly eradicated from a small island, the local rat population quickly quadrupled.

Despite liking warm laps and napping all day, cats plays a vital role in the Earth's eco-system by keeping the vermin population in check.


By Natalie Wolchover, Life's Little Mysteries Tue, Feb 07 2012 at 9:56 AM



Photo: Tim Ebbs/Flickr


Perhaps you're a cat lover. Perhaps you abhor the lazy critters. Either way, when you see a cat lounging on an armchair, napping all day but for the occasional stretch or window gaze, "useless" is by no means the last word that comes to mind. Cats, beloved or otherwise, don't radiate the message that they're indispensable, hard-working members of the household, or the world.

But, in fact, they're just playing it cool (as usual). Experts say that if all the world's cats suddenly died, things would quickly go to hell in a handbasket.

Quote from: islander on June 12, 2013, 11:08:35 PM
sometimes, the runner stumbles.  duda kong nasaag lang tingali siya.  he will find his way as you have found your millions.

Milyon sak sapal...

Di na madag inigsoon. Psychiatrist nay gikinahanglan.

To Whom It May Concern:

Maghuwat lang gud ta nga ang ubang tawo, kapunongan o hugpong sa katilingnan maoy moingon nga naa tay nahimo sa atong kinabuhi. Luoy man gud paminawon kon kita mismo maoy moalsa sa kaugalingon natong bangko. Sa natad sa abilidad ug sa kabanggiitian, dili man gud angay nga kita maoy mosibya sa atoa kunohay nga nakab-ot. Kon buot hunahunaon, kon aduna tay nahimo nga angay ikapasigarbo, naay daghang nagbantay kon kinsa man ugaling ang nakapatigayon og gimbuhaton nga angay isibya. Let's leave it to them. Please?

Mao nga, palihog lang. Kon hawod kang tinuod, huwat lang. Moabot ra ang panahon nga mailhan ka sa imong tampo alang sa pagpalambo sa buhilaman, kana kon ugaling angay mang hinumdoman. Sa kasamtangan, kalma lang.

Swinging from branch to branch to understand how you feel,

Sincerely I remain,

Very simianly yours,
Botoy

P.S. Hinuon--bisan tuod karon karon mismo gipahimangnoan ka nako nga ayaw na lang--pwede kang magpadayon sa pag-inunggoy.

He he, though he plays the piano, I suspect he suffers from existentialist angst. He probably is Fyodor Dogstoyevsky...

Monkeys are not expected to be original. It's good enough that they can copy.


Bitaw pud tawon...

http://tubagbohol.mikeligalig.com/index.php?topic=72936.msg588674#msg588674

Here it is:


The secret of absolute abundance and wealth


The difference between the rich and the poor is
not in how much money they have, but in the way
they talk, the way they act, the way they think.

The way you think is what you create in your inner world.

The way you talk and act is what you express in your outer world.

If you want to be fully wealthy, you must be fully congruent in your
thoughts, speech and actions. Half congruence results in half wealth.

Poor people communicate lack in every way while rich people
communicate abundance in every way...


The elements in your environment affect your consciousness.

Everything that you see around you will subconsciously
impress upon you the idea of poverty or wealth.

The more broken and dilapidated stuff you hold without
replacing, the more you will feel lack.

When you keep signs of abundance in your environment,
your subconscious mind will be constantly impressed with
the idea of supply and abundance.

By causing yourself to feel abundance, you will perpetuate
the conditions of abundance in your reality...


The subconscious impression of abundance creates conditions
of abundance. Seeing abundance in one area creates a mental
shift and allows you to start seeing and feeling more abundance.

Whatever area in your life you have right now that makes you feel
rich and powerful, create more of that.

Use that area to affect other areas.

The key is to get more references of abundance for you to be
conscious of so as to impress upon your subconscious mind as
much as possible the reality of abundance...

Your actions either create subconscious impressions of wealth or poverty.

By choosing to buy the best and quality products for yourself,
you are saying that you are worth it, that you are the best.

Your subconscious mind will pick up these impressions from your
actions and create conditions in your life that resonate with that
state of mind. To manifest wealth, you must begin with living as
though you are already wealthy.

It doesn't mean you overspend, but you simply spend in a way
that makes you truly happy...


Enjoy,
Balong

_________________________________________



Now, let's have the following links:


http://archive.aweber.com/500in7days/ImTkA/h/The_Secret_of_Absolute_Abundance.htm dated February 1, 2012

http://imegahappy.com/blog/secret-of-absolute-abundance-and-wealth/ dated May 3, 2012


Now, who is the plagiarist?

Kapoy na...

Calling medical doctors and doctors of philosophy: ngano nga naa may gustong mo-post sa ngil-ad nilang mga nawong?


This will always remain a mystery to me until after you offer me a good explanation. Thank you in advance.

Quote from: Mike Ortega Ligalig on June 12, 2013, 08:01:59 AM
Wala na sab ang sumpay niini tungod kay gidala sa iyang asawa sakay sa ilang motorsiklo.

Wa nay asawa, wa nay motorsiklo, wa nay kinatawo. Zaon na lang...

Naunsa man si lolo, wa na lang mag lolo...

SuperBalita Davao
Ni Edgardo Fuerzas
Tuesday, June 11, 2013


WALO ka bayut sa Cotabato City ang positibo sa Human Immuno Virus (HIV). Kini ang gipahibalo ni Dr. Marlowe Niñal, nangulo sa City Health Office sa siyudad sa Cotabato.

Matud ni Niñal nga gikompirma mismo kini ni Alma Lusanta Mondragon, Executive Director sa Alliance Against AIDS in Mindanao (Alagad-Mindanao) Inc. nga nakabase sa siyudad sa Davao nga maoy naghiling sa panglawas sa walo ka mga bayut.

Kasagaran kanila nagpangedaron 20 hangtud 30 anyos nga pulos molupyo sa Cotabato City.

Tungod niini, nagpasidaan si Niñal sa publiko nga likayan ang sexual contacts sa walo ka bayut gumikan aktibo pa sila sa pakighilawas ug kasagaran sa ilang mga biktima mga kabataan nga ilang gibayaran sa ubos nga kantidad.

Nagdumili si Niñal nga hinganlan ang walo ka bayut alang sa equal protection of privacy ug ilang tawhanong katungod.

Sa kasamtangan, mihimo na og konkretong lakang ang mga lokal opisyal kon unsaon nga mapungan ang pagkuyanap sa maong sakit.

The mansion’s last inhabitant, George Meade Easby, (a descendant of seven signers of the Declaration of Independence) died in 2005 but before his death he claimed to have seen many ghostly goings on all around the houseâ€"most notably the ghost of his brother, Steven who died suddenly as a young child, his mother and none other than the ghost of Thomas Jefferson himself. However, the most unsettling tales come from the infamous Blue Room and the ‘Chair of Death’ which can be found there. The chair is a two-hundred-year-old blue upholstered wing chair, which some say once belonged to Napoleon Bonaparte.But this isn’t the kind of chair you’d want to show off to your neighbors and it’s certainly not the kind of chair you’d want them to sit in either.

Several paranormal investigators believe a female ghost haunts the chair and George’s nickname for the spirit found in this particular room would back that claim up: Spectral Amelia. It is said that whenever Amelia is present, a blue mist descends upon the room and that any one who is brave enough to sit in the chair when the spirit is in attendance will die suddenly. To this day four people have pooh-poohed the claim and brazenly sat in the chair. Those very same people perished. So the question is, would you sit in the Chair of Death? -- http://listverse.com/

Baleroy Mansion, Pennsylvania was built in 1911. Since it’s construction the building has accrued many artifacts of not only considerable monetary value but historical importance as well. The mansion houses items which once belonged to the Founding Father, Thomas Jefferson for instance. But alongside its palatial and opulent merits, Baleroy Mansion also has some paranormal prestige.

Going from place to place, eating at strange tables, it
often happens that I spin yarns - improbable things that could
never have happened - about devils, magicians, windmills,
and the like. The children run after me, calling,
"Grandfather, tell us a story." Sometimes they ask for
particular stories, and I try to please them. A fat young
boy once said to me, "Grandfather, it's the same story you
told us before." The little rogue, he was right.

So it is with dreams too. It is many years since I left
Frampol, but as soon as I shut my eyes I am there again.
And whom do you think I see? Elka. She is standing by the
washtub, as at your first encounter, but she speaks
outlandish words to me, strange things. When I wake I have
forgotten it all. But while the dream lasts I am comforted.
She answers all my queries, and what comes out is that all
is right. I weep and implore, "Let me be with you." And
she consoles me and tells me to be patient. The time is
nearer than it is far. Sometimes she strokes and kisses me
and weeps upon my face. When I awaken I feel her lips and
taste the salt of her tears.

No doubt the world is entirely an imaginary world, but it is
only once removed from the true world. At the door of the
hotel where I lie, there stands the plank on which the dead
are taken away. The grave digger Jew has his spade ready.
The grave waits and the worms are hungry; the shrouds are
prepared - I carry them in my beggar's sack. Another
schnorrer is waiting to inherit my bed of straw. When the
time comes I will go joyfully. Whatever may be there, it
will be real, without complication, without ridicule,
without deception. God be praised: there even Gimpel
cannot be deceived.


The End

They were so astounded they couldn't speak a word.

"Be well," I said, "and forget that such a one as Gimpel
ever existed." I put on my short coat, a pair of boots,
took the bag that held my prayer shawl in one hand, my stock
in the other, and kissed the mezzuzah. When people saw me
in the street they were greatly surprised.

"Where are you going?" they said.

I answered, "Into the world." And so I departed from
Frampol.

I wandered over the land, and good people did not neglect
me. After many years I became old and white; I heard a
great deal, many lies and falsehoods, but the longer I lived
the more I understood that there were really no lies.
Whatever doesn't really happen is dreamed at night. It
happens to one if it doesn't happen to another, tomorrow if
not today, or a century hence if not next year. What
difference can it make? Often I heard tales of which I
said, "Now this is a thing that cannot happen." But before a
year had elapsed I heard that it actually had come to pass
somewhere.

I looked at her face. It was black; I was startled and
waked, and remained sitting dumb. I sensed that everything
hung in the balance. A false step now and I'd lose Eternal
Life. But God gave me His help. I seized the long shovel
and took out the loaves, carried them into the yard, and
started to dig a hole in the frozen earth.

My apprentice came back as I was doing it. "What are you
doing boss?" he said, and grew pale as a corpse.

"I know what I'm doing," I said, and I buried it all before
his very eyes.

Then I went home, took my hoard from its hiding place, and
divided it among the children. "I saw your mother tonight,"
I said. "She's turning black, poor thing."

At dawn the apprentice came. We kneaded the bread,
scattered caraway seeds on it, and set it to bake. Then the
apprentice went away, and I was left sitting in the little
trench of the oven, on a pile of rags. Well, Gimpel, I
thought, you've revenged yourself on them for all the shame
they've put on you. Outside the frost glittered, but it was
warm beside the oven. The flames heated my face. I bent my
head and fell into a doze.

I saw in a dream, at once, Elka in her shroud. She called
to me, "What have you done, Gimpel?"

I said to her, "It's all your fault," and started to cry.

"You fool!" she said. "You fool!" Because I was false is
everything false too? I never deceived anyone but myself.
I'm paying for it all, Gimpel. They spare you nothing
here."

"Well then," I said, "and is there a God?"

He answered, "There is no God, either."

"What," I said, "is there then?"

"A thick mire."

He stood before my eyes with a goatish beard and horn,
long-toothed, and with a tail. Hearing such words, I wanted
to snatch him by the tail, but I tumbled from the flour
sacks and nearly broke a rib. Then it happened that I had
to answer the call of nature, and, passing I saw the risen
dough, which seemed to say to me, "Do it!" In brief, I let
myself be persuaded.

One night, when the period of mourning was done, as I lay
dreaming on the flour sacks, there came the Spirit of Evil
himself and said to me, "Gimpel, why do you sleep?"

I said, "What should I be doing? Eating kreplach?"

"The whole world deceives you," he said, "and you ought to
deceive the world in your turn."

"How can I deceive all the world?" I asked him.

He answered, "You might accumulate a bucket of urine every
day and at night pour it into the dough. Let the sages of
Frampol eat filth."

"What about the judgement in the world to come?" I said.

"There is no world to come," he said. "They've sold you a
bill of goods and talked you into believing you carried a
cat in your belly. What nonsense!"

If I had been clouted on the head with a piece of wood it
couldn't have bewildered me more.

"Whose are they?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "There were a lot . . . but
they're not yours." And as she spoke she tossed her head to
the side, her eyes turned glassy, and it was all up with
Elka. On her whitened lips there remained a smile.

I imagined that, dead as she was, she was saying, "I
deceived Gimpel. That was meaning of my brief life."

Suddenly my wife took sick. It began with a trifle, a
little growth upon the breast. But she evidently was not
destined to live long; she had no years. I spent a fortune
on her. I have forgotten to say that by this time I had a
bakery of my own and in Frampol was considered to be
something of a rich man. Daily the healer came, and every
witch doctor in the neighborhood was brought. They decided
to use leeches, and after that to try cupping. They even
called a doctor from Lublin, but it was too late. Before she
died she called me to her bed and said, "Forgive me,
Gimpel."

I said, "What is there to forgive? You have been a good and
faithful wife."

"Woe, Gimpel!" she said. "It was ugly how I deceived you
all these years. I want to go clean to my Maker, and so I
have to tell you that the children are not yours."

In short, I somehow calmed her.

"Well," she said, "that's enough. Lie down, and be
shattered by wheels."

Next morning I called the apprentice aside. "Listen here,
brother!" I said. And so on and so forth. "What do you
say?" He stared at me as though I had dropped from the roof
or something.

"I swear," he said, "you'd better go to an herb doctor or
some healer. I'm afraid you have a screw loose, but I'll
hush it up for you." And that's how the think stood.

To make a long story short, I lived twenty years with my
wife. She bore me six children, four daughters and two
sons. All kinds of things happened, but I neither saw nor
heard. I believed, and that's all. the rabbi recently said
to me, "Belief in itself is beneficial. It is written that
a good man lived by his faith."

I went back. The apprentice had vanished.

"Where," I asked, "is the lad?"

"What lad?" my wife answered.

"What do you mean?" I said. "The apprentice. You were
sleeping with him."

"The things I have dreamed this night and the night before,"
she said, "may they come true and lay you low, body and soul!
An evil spirit has taken root in you and dazzled your
sight." She screamed out, "You hateful creature! You moon
calf! You spook! You uncouth man! Get out, or I'll scream
all Frampol out of bed!"

Before I could move, her brother sprang out from behind the
oven and struck me a blow on the back of the head. I though
he had broken my neck. I felt the something about me was
deeply wrong, and I said, "Don't make a scandal. All that's
needed now is that people should accuse me of raising spooks
and dybbuks." For that was what she had mean. "No one will
touch bread of my baking."

"Gimpel?" she asked. "How come you're here? I thought it
was forbidden."

"The rabbi said," I answered and shook as with a fever.

"Listen to me, Gimpel," she said, "go out to the shed and
see if the goat's all right. It seems she's been sick." I
have forgotten to say that we had a goat. When I heard she
was unwell I went into the yard. The nanny goat was a good
little creature. I had nearly human feeling for her.

With hesitant steps I went up to the shed and opened the
door. The goat stood there on her four feet. I felt her
everywhere, drew her by the horns, examined her udders, and
found nothing wrong. She had probably eaten too much bark.
"Good night, little goat," I said. "Keep well." And the
little beast answered with a "Maa" as thought to thank me
for the good will.

Dogs in the Christian yards barked at me when I passed, but
I thought: Bark your teeth out! What are you but mere
dogs? Whereas I am a man, the husband of a fine wife, the
father of promising children.

As I approached the house my heart started to pound as
though it were the heart of a criminal. I felt no fear, but
my heart went thump! thump! Well, no drawing back. I
quietly lifted the latch and went in. Elka was asleep. I
looked at the infant's cradle. The shutter was closed, but
the moon forced its way through the cracks. I saw the
newborn child's face and loved it as soon as I saw it -
immediately-each tiny bone.

Then I came nearer to the bed. And what did I see but the
apprentice lying there beside Elka. The moon went out all
at once. It was utterly black, and I trembled. My teeth
chattered. The bread fell from my hands and my wife waked
and said, "Who is that, ah?" I muttered, "It's me."

I wanted to run home immediately. It's no small think to be
separated for so long a time from wife and child. Then I
reflected: I'd better go back to work now, and go home in
the evening. I said nothing to anyone, although as far as
my heart was concerned it was like one of the Holy Days.
The women teased and twitted me as they did every day, but
my though was: Go on, with your loose talk. the truth is
out, like the oil upon the water. Maimonides says it's
right, and therefore it is right!

At night, when I had covered the dough to let it rise, I
took my share of bread and a little sack of flour and
started homeward. The moon was full and the stars were
glistening, something to terrify the soul. I hurried onward,
and before me started a long shadow. It was winter, and
fresh snow had fallen. I had a mind to sing, but it was
growing late and I didn't want to wake the householders.
Then I felt like whistling, but I remembered that you don't
whistle at night because it brings the demons out. So I was
silent and walked as fast as I could.

One day the rabbi sent for me and said, "Are you certain,
Gimpel, that you were wrong about your wife?"

I said, "I'm certain."

"Why, but look here! You yourself saw it."

"It must have been a shadow," I said.

"That shadow of what?"

"Just of one of the beams, I think."

"You can go home then. You owe thanks to the Yanover rabbi.
He found an obscure reference in Maimonides that favored
you."

I seized the rabbi's hand and kissed it.

By an apprentice who was her neighbor I sent her daily a
corn or a wheat loaf, or a piece of pastry, rolls or bagels,
or, when I got the chance, a slab of pudding, a slice of
honeycake, or wedding strudel-whatever came my way. The
apprentice was a goodhearted lad, and more than once he
added something on his own. He had formerly annoyed me a
lot, plucking my nose and digging me in the ribs, but when
he started to be a visitor to my house he became kind and
friendly, "Hey, you , Gimpel," he said to me, "you have a
very decent little wife and two fine kids. You don't
deserve them."

"But the things people say about her," I said.

"Well, they have long tongues," he said, "and nothing to do
with them but babble. Ignore it as you ignore the cold of
last winter."

Nine months passed before all the rabbis could come to an
agreement. Letters went back and forth. I hadn't realized
that there could be so much erudition about a matter like
this.

Meanwhile Elka gave birth to still another child, a girl this
time. On the Sabbath I went to the synagogue and invoked a
blessing on her. They called me up to the Torah, and I
named the child for my mother-in-law - may she rest in
peace. The louts and loudmouths of the town who came into
the bakery gave me a going over. All Frampol refreshed it's
spirits because of my trouble and grief. However, I resolved
that I would always believe what I was told. What's the
good of not believing? Today it's your wife you don't
believe; tomorrow it's God Himself you won't take stock in.

During the day it didn't bother me so much. I thought: It
was bound to happen, the abscess had to burst. But at night
when I stretched out upon the sacks I felt it all very
bitterly. A longing took me, for her and for the child.
I wanted to be angry, but that's my misfortune
exactly, I don't have it in me to be really angry. In
the first place - this was how my thoughts went - there's
bound to be a slip sometimes. You can't live without
errors. Probably that lad who was with her led her on and
gave her presents and what not, and women are often long on
hair and short on sense, and so he got around her. And then
since she denies it so, maybe I was only seeing things?
Hallucinations do happen. You see a figure or a mannikin or
something, but when you come up closer it's nothing, there's
not a thing there. And if that's so, I'm doing her an
injustice. And when I got so far in my thoughts I started
to weep. I sobbed so that I wet the flour where I lay. In
the morning I went to the rabbi and told him that I had
made a mistake. The rabbi wrote on with his quill, and he
said that if that were so he would have to reconsider the
whole case. Until he had finished I wasn't to go near my
wife, but I might send her bread and money by messenger.

He said, "You must server the divorce. That's all you'll
have to do."

I said, "Well, all right Rabbi. Let me think about it."

"There's nothing to think about," said he. "You mustn't
remain under the same roof with her."

"And what if she refuses?" I asked.

"Let her go, the harlot," said he, "and her brood of
bastards with her."

The verdict he gave was that I mustn't even cross her
threshold - never again, as long as I should live.

In the morning I went to the rabbi to get advice, and it
made a great commotion in the town. They sent the beadle
for Elka right away. She came, carrying the child. And
what do you think she did? She denied it, denied everything,
bone and stone! "He's out of his head," she said. I know
nothing of dreams of divinations." they yelled at her,
warned her, hammered on the table, but she stuck to her
guns: it was a false accusation, she said.

The butchers and the horse-traders took her part. One of
the lads from the slaughterhouse came buy and said to me,
"We've got our eye on you, you're a marked man." Meanwhile
the child started to bear down and soiled itself. In the
rabbinical court there was an Ark of the Covenant, and they
couldn't allow that, so they sent Elka away.

I said to the rabbi, "What shall I do?"

"You must divorce her at once," said he.

"And what if she refuses?" I asked.

One night there was a calamity in the bakery; the oven
burst, and we almost had a fire. There was nothing to do
but go home, so I went home. Let me, I thought, also taste
the joy of sleeping in bed in midweek. I didn't want to
wake the sleeping mite and tiptoed into the house. Coming
in, it seemed to me that I heard not the snoring of one but,
as it were, a double snore, one a thin enough snore and the
other like the snoring of a slaughtered ox. Oh I didn't
like that! I didn't like it as at all. I went up to the bed,
and things suddenly turned black. Next to Elka lay a man's
form. Another in my place would have made an uproar, and
enough noise to rouse the whole town, but the thought
occurred to me that I might wake the child. A little thing
like that - why frighten a little swallow, I thought. All
right then, I went back to the bakery and stretched out on a
sack of flour and till morning I never shut an eye. I
shivered as if I had had malaria. "Enough of being a
donkey, " I said to myself. " Gimpel isn't going to be a
sucker all his life. There's a limit even to the
foolishness of a fool like Gimpel."

In the evening I brought her a white loaf as well as a dark
one, and also poppy seed rolls I baked myself. I thieved
because of her and swiped everything I could lay hands on:
macaroons, raisins, almonds, cakes. I hope I may be
forgiven for stealing from the Saturday pots the women left
to warm in the baker's oven. I would take out scraps of
meat, a chunk of pudding, a chicken leg or head, a piece of
tripe, whatever I could nip quickly. She ate and became fat
and handsome.

I had to sleep away from home all during the week, at the
bakery. On Friday nights when I got home she always made an
excuse of some sort. Either she had heartburn, or a stitch
in the side, or hiccups, or headaches. You know what
women's excuses are. I had a bitter time of it. It was
rough. To add to it, this little brother of hers, the
bastard, was growing bigger. He'd put lumps on me, and when
I wanted to hit back she'd open her mouth and curse so
powerfully I saw a green haze floating before my eyes. Ten
time a day she threatened to divorce me. Another man in my
place would have taken French leave and disappeared. But
I'm the type that bears it and says nothing. What's one to
do? Shoulders are from God and burdens too.

I began to forget my sorrow. I loved the child madly, and
he loved me too. As soon as he saw me he'd wave his little
hands and want me to pick him up, and when he was colicky I
was the only one who could pacify him. I bought him a
little bone teething ring and a little gilded cap. He was
forever catching the evil eye from someone, and then I had
to run to get one of those abracadabras for him that would
get him out of it. I worked like an ox. You know how
expenses go up when there's an infant in the house. I don't
want to lie about it; I didn't dislike Elka either, for that
matter. She swore at me and cursed, and I couldn't get
enough of her. What strength she had! One of her looks
could rob you of the power of speech. And her orations!
Pitch and sulfur, that's what they were full of, and yet
somehow also full of charm. I adored her every word. She
gave me bloody wounds though.

She told me then that he was premature. I said, "Isn't he a
little too premature?" She said, she had had a grandmother
who carried just as short a time and she resembled this
grandmother of hers as one drop of water does another. She
swore to it with such oaths that you would have believed a
peasant at the fair if he has used them. To tell the plain
truth, I didn't believe her; but when I talked it over next
day with the schoolmaster he told me that the very same thing
happened to Adam and Eve. Two they went up to bed and four
they descended.

"There isn't a woman in the world who is not the
granddaughter of Eve," he said.

That was how it was; they argued me dumb. But then, who
really knows how such things are?

"Gimpel," said she, "why are you silent? Has your ship gone
and sunk?"

"What shall I say?" I answered. "A fine thing you've done
to me! If my mother had known of it, she'd have died a
second time."

She said, " Are you crazy or what?"

"How can you make such a fool," I said, "of one who should
be the lord and master?"

"What's the matter with you?" she said. "What have you
taken it into your head to imagine?"

I saw that I must speak bluntly and openly. "Do you think
this is the way to use an orphan?" I said. "You have born
a bastard."

She answered, "Drive this foolishness out of your head.
This child is yours."

"How can he be mine?" I argued. "He was born seventeen
weeks after the wedding."

She gave birth to a boy, Friday at the synagogue the sexton
stood up before the Ark, pounded on the reading table, and
announced, "The wealthy Reb Gimpel invites the congregation
to a feast in honor of the birth of a son." The whole House
of Prayer rang with laughter. My face was flaming. But
there was nothing I could do. After all, I was the one
responsible for the circumcision honors and rituals.

Half the town came running. You couldn't wedge another soul
in. Women brought peppered chick-peas, and there was a keg
of beer from the tavern. I ate and drank as much as anyone,
and they all congratulated me. Then there was a
circumcision, and I named the boy after my father, may he
rest in peace. When all were gone and I was left with my
wife alone, she thrust her head through the bed-curtain and
called me to her.

"Today isn't yesterday," said she, "and yesterday's not
today. You can beat it if you don't like it." In short, I
waited.

Not four months later she was in childbed. The townsfolk
hid their laughter with their knuckles. But what could I
do? She suffered intolerable pains and clawed at the walls.
"Gimpel," she cried, "I'm going. Forgive me." The house
filled with women. They were boiling pans of water. The
screams rose to the welkin.

The thing to do was to go to the House of Prayer to repeat
Psalms, and that was what I did.

The townsfolk liked that, all right. I stood in a corner
saying Psalms and prayers, and they shook their heads at me.
"Pray, pray!" they told me, "Prayer never made any woman
pregnant." One of the congregation put a straw to my mouth
and said, "Hay for the cows." There was something to that
too, by God!

There was singing and dancing. An old granny danced
opposite me, hugging a braided white chalah. The master of
revels made a "God'a mercy" in memory of the bride's parents.
The schoolboys threw burrs, as on Tishe b'Av fast day. There
were a lot of gifts after the sermon: a noodle board, a
kneading trough, a bucket, brooms, ladels, household articles
galore. Then I took a look and saw two strapping young men
carrying a crib. "What do we need this for?" I asked. So
they said, "Don't rack your brains about it. It's all
right, it'll come in handy." I realized I was going to be
rooked. Take it another way though, what did I stand to
lose? I reflected: I'll see what comes of it. A whole
town can't go altogether crazy.

At night I came where my wife lay, but she wouldn't let me
in. "Say, look here, is this what they married us for?" I
said. And she said, "My monthly has come."

"But yesterday they took you to the ritual bath, and that's afterward,
isn't it suppose to be?"

"I'm an orphan myself," she answered, "and whoever tries to
twist you up, may the end of his nose take a twist. But
don't let them think they can take advantage of me. I want
a dowry of fifty guilders, and let them take up a collection
besides. Otherwise they can kiss my you-know-what." She
was very plainspoken. I said, "It's the bride and not the
groom who gives a dowry." Then she said, "Don't bargain
with me. Either a flat 'yes' or a flat 'no'-Go back to where
you came from."

I thought: No bread will ever be baked from this dough. But
out is not a poor town. They consented to everything and
proceeded with the wedding. It so happened that there was a
dysentery epidemic at the time. The ceremony was held at
the cemetery gates, near the little corpse washing hut. The
fellows got drunk. While the marriage contract was being
drawn up I heard the most pious high rabbi ask, "Is the
bride a widow or a divorced woman?" And the sexton's wife
answered for her, "Both a widow and divorced." It was a
black moment for me. But what was I to do, run away from
under the marriage canopy?

I went to her clay house, which was built on the sand, and
the whole gang, hollering and chorusing, came after me.
They acted like bear baiters. When we came to the well they
stopped all the same. They were afraid to start anything
with Elka. Her mouth would open as if it were strung from
wall to wall and clothes were drying. Barefoot she stood
by the tub, doing the wash. She was dressed in a worn
hand-me-down gown of plush. She had her hair put up in
braids and pinned across her head. It took my breath away.
Almost, the reek of it all.

Evidently she knew who I was. She took a look at me and
said, "Look who's here! He's come, the drip. Grab a seat."

I told her all; I denied nothing. "Tell me the truth, " I
said," are you really a virgin, and is that mischievous
Yechiel actually your little brother? Don't be deceitful
with me, for I'm an orphan."

I went to the rabbi to get some advice. He said, "It is
written, better to be a fool all your days than for one hour
to be evil. You are not a fool. They are the fools. For
he who causes his neighbor to feel shame loses Paradise
himself." Nevertheless the rabbi's daughter took me in. As
I left the rabbinical court she said, "Have you kissed the
wall yet?" I said, "No what for?" she answered, "It's the
law; you've got to do it after every visit." Well, there
didn't seem to be any harm in it. And she burst out
laughing. It was a fine trick. She put one over on me,
all right.

I wanted to go off to another town, but then everyone got
busy matchmaking, and they were after me so they nearly tore
my coat tails off. They talked at me and talked until I got
water on the ear. She was no chaste maiden, but they told
me she was virgin pure. She had a limp, and they said it
was deliberate, from coyness. She had a bastard, and they
told me the child was her little brother. I cried, "You're
wasting your time. I'll never marry that whore." But they
said indignantly. "What a way to talk! Aren't you ashamed
of yourself? We can take you to the rabbi and have you
fined for giving her a bad name." I saw then that I
wouldn't escape them so easily and I thought: They're set on
making me their butt. But when you're married the
husband's the master, and if that's all right with her it's
agreeable to me too. Besides, you can't pass through life
unscathed, nor expect to.

I was an orphan. My grandfather who brought me up was
already bent toward the grave. So they turned me over to a
baker, and what a time they gave me there! Every woman or
girl who came to bake a batch of noodles had to fool me at
least once. "Gimpel, there's a fair in heaven; Gimpel, the
rabbi gave birth to a calf in the seventh month; Gimpel, a
cow flew over the roof and laid brass eggs." A student from
the yeshiva came once to buy a roll, and he said, "You,
Gimpel, while you stand here scraping with your baker's
shovel, the Messiah has come. The dead have arisen."
"What do you mean?" I said. "I heard no one blowing the
ram's horn!" He said, "Are you deaf?" And all began to
cry, "We heard it, we heard!" Then in came Rietze the
Candle-dipper and called out in her hoarse voice, "Gimpel
your father and mother have stood up from the grave.
They're looking for you."

To tell the truth, I knew very well that nothing of the sort
had happened, but all the same, as folks were talking, I
threw on my wool vest and went out. Maybe something had
happened. What did I stand to lose by looking? Well, what
a cat music went up! And then I took a vow to believe
nothing more. But that was no go either. They confused
me so that I didn't know the big end from the small.

I was coming home from school and heard a dog barking. I'm
not afraid of dogs, but of course I never want to start up
with them. One of them may be mad, and if he bites there's
not a Tartar in the world who can help you. So I made
tracks. Then I looked around and saw the whole market place
wild with laughter. It was no dog at all but Wolf-Leib the
thief. How was I supposed to know it was he? It sounded
like a howling bitch.

When the pranksters and the leg-pullers found that I was easy
to fool, every one of them tried his luck with me. "Gimpel
the Czar is coming to Frampol: Gimpel, the moon fell down
in Turbeen; Gimpel, little Hodel Furpiece found a treasure
behind the bathhouse." And I like a golem believed
everyone. In the first place, everything is possible, as it
is written in the Wisdom of the Fathers. I've forgotten
just how: Second, I had to believe when the whole town came
down on me! If I ever dared to say, Ah, you're kidding!"
there was trouble. People got angry. "What do you mean!"
You want to call everyone a liar?": What was I to do? I
believed them, and I hope at least that did them some good.

I am Gimpel the fool. I don't think myself a fool. On the
contrary. But that's what folks call me. They gave me the
name while I was still in school. I had seven names in all:
imbecile, donkey, flax-head, dope, flump, ninny, and fool.
The last name stuck. What did my foolishness consist of? I
was easy to take in. They said, "Gimpel, you know the
rabbi's wife has been brought to childbed?" So I skipped
school. Well, it turned out to be a lie. How was I
supposed to know? She hadn't had a big belly. But I never
looked at her belly. Was that really so foolish? The gang
laughed and hee-hawed, stomped and danced and chanted a
good-night prayer. And instead of the raisins they give
when a woman's lying in, they stuffed my hand full of goat
turds. I was no weakling. If I slapped someone he'd see
all the way to Cracow. But I'm really not a slugger by
nature. I think to myself: Let it pass. So they take
advantage of me.

Ein affe: The capuchin became property of Germany when Bieber missed the deadline to reclaim his pet, a 19th birthday present

Monkey lost: Justin's monkey was confiscated by customs officials when the star failed to provide the correct documents when he brought him to Munich for his European tour

After Justin Bieber failed to reclaim his pet, Mally was sent to the Serengeti-Park, which is home to Germany's only white-headed capuchin family.

The tiny monkey was confiscated at Munich airport when Bieber landed for his European tour.

When Bieber missed the deadline to send the correct documents for Mally, authorities issued an order transferring ownership of the animal to Germany.

Bieber has been under heavy critique from animal experts for keeping such a young monkey as a pet, saying 23-week-old Mally should not have been taken away from his mother until he was a year old.

After spending time at an animal shelter, Mally can now be integrated with others of his species and will no longer have to rely on a teddy for company.

Not a Belieber: Mally the monkey gives an indication as to his feelings about Justin Bieber's failure to collect him while playing around in his new home