pag mo abutay na ang pasko.. malipay gyod ko ug simbang gabi unya naay program magabii agoyyy.. igo nalang sa paghandom sa gagahapon.. maoy pasko para nako kay teen ager paman oi..
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
#2001
Philippine Laws / Re: It's Already Christmas in the Philippines
September 08, 2007, 08:31:42 PM #2002
Question and Answer / Re: What is your style?
September 08, 2007, 07:46:17 PM
pwedi na ng 1 & 2. pero sa cementery ta.. bitaw november 24 mana sauna oi.. karon kay May 5 naman, maong kung kinsa ganahan ana nga bulan na maghikay sila kung kinsay daghan money maghikay sila 2 tymes a year..
#2003
Talk of the Town / Re: Panglao International Airport Deal or No Deal?
September 08, 2007, 07:43:04 PM
alanganin ang daan nga airport kay mubo ang run way.. wala na say space at daghan obstraction nga buliding dili na sya adviciable.specially kung international airport na..
Mike, Project lang na international airport nga naa ta pero walang mga foriegn airplanes nga molanding. pila raman kaha ka abroad ang bohol kung cargoes sad maayo nalang may isa sa isa ka buwan.
Mike, Project lang na international airport nga naa ta pero walang mga foriegn airplanes nga molanding. pila raman kaha ka abroad ang bohol kung cargoes sad maayo nalang may isa sa isa ka buwan.
#2004
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: Nahitabo na ni Ninyo?
September 08, 2007, 07:38:05 PM
wahaha.. kung gagmay man lang ang manghold-up cell, ayaw nalang gyod kay basin magmahay sila..hehehhe
#2005
Question and Answer / Re: What is your style?
September 08, 2007, 07:36:10 PM
ayaw na cel kay.. mag libog ka feista sa amo.. naay maghikay ug novembre, naa say mayo..lipat lipat ang style..
#2006
Bohol Latest News / Re: Where To Go After This (TB)
September 08, 2007, 07:34:17 PM
sureness always, any where, any time..
#2007
Question and Answer / Re: What is your style?
September 08, 2007, 07:30:48 PMQuote from: Happy on September 08, 2007, 07:26:35 PMaw kung molakaw na cel.. lain man sad kung moadto tag syudad kuno.. sa amo lang style nako bah kay atubangon intawn sa merkado among balay..
magsiga siga day na imong style barbs, prey jud diay ka sa hold aper
#2008
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: Nahitabo na ni Ninyo?
September 08, 2007, 07:28:52 PM
WAHAHA.. dili nako panumbalingon kung masuko sila walay koy money. ang akong kasuko maoy ilang hunahunaon.. aburido baya ta basta wala tay money na basin sili hinoon akong ma hold up..toinks..
#2009
Bohol Latest News / Re: Cellphone of Tubag Bohol member Lost - help!
September 08, 2007, 07:16:09 PM
Pastilan pod ag naka kuha a adto .. kamaayong tawo.. maonay mga tawo ingon ana dili pa sanayon..
#2010
Bohol Latest News / Re: Where To Go After This (TB)
September 08, 2007, 07:10:47 PM
abi kog nabasa sa laway imong habol..
si julai nagka problema kay error kuno ang TB sa ilang lugar..
si julai nagka problema kay error kuno ang TB sa ilang lugar..
#2011
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: Nahitabo na ni Ninyo?
September 08, 2007, 07:07:58 PM
free molang hehhe..wala man sad silay ma hold up oi..
#2012
Question and Answer / Re: What is your style?
September 08, 2007, 07:05:34 PM
style jeprox oi.. boots, ambell ang jeans levi sympre.. crispa white t-shirt inshirt gyod na para kita hicock na belt na 2 half inch ang lapad.. seiko diver watch. sing2x gamay kwentas gamay. sunglass. standby sa kanto inom tuba..fyts kaayo..
#2013
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: Nahitabo na ni Ninyo?
September 08, 2007, 07:00:07 PM
Lain pod akong style.. bisan naa ta sa gawas mag work dili pod ko magpahalata nga abroad oi.. gisi gisi ug t-shirt pero hanes man puti pa gyod.. dili kay paok..walang dala ug money unya medyo dakoonon man ko ug tiyan , murag maka ingon sila nga naa koy money pero.. wala.. pero advantage kaayo ning naay tyan gamay kay maka ingon man sila nga dato ko.. ug manghulam ko magpahulam sila dayon kay nahugtan ra kuno ko.. pero na gyoy mani oi..sabay sibat na diay balik na kay bisan pag tition wala na gyod..
#2014
Help & Support / Re: Is Tubag Bohol a Contagious Disease?
September 08, 2007, 06:01:27 PM
MAGPA REHAB NAKOWWW.. KAMO RA..
#2015
Introduce Yourself / Re: ATTENDANCE
September 08, 2007, 05:52:28 PMQuote from: Ginger on September 08, 2007, 05:48:00 PM
attendance ra daw ni oi...padayun hangtud sa 1M, pero ang top 10 ra ang palitan ni Bran (Lorenzo) ug GooPhone.
11. barbaro
12.
13.
........
tnx Ginger, naka abot ko sa attendance..
#2016
Question and Answer / Re: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
September 08, 2007, 05:40:54 PMQuote from: ms da binsi on September 08, 2007, 01:07:52 PMholy ang camel oi.. maonay gamit ni judas sa kaniadtong panahon ,noong si judas ay nadulas
Unsa may naka Holy ana nga gipasagdahan na man lang na didto sa ka hadjii... ay sa India kay Cow ang holy...
#2017
Facts and Trivia / Re: Things you can't live without? ingon si Ginger...
September 08, 2007, 05:30:56 PM
malintan nalang ang tanan basta dili akong credit oi..
#2020
Anonymous Diary Blog / Re: Hoy Bol-anons let's learn Tagalog!
September 08, 2007, 05:07:07 PM
ito.. ang gubat sa tagalog kakahuyan..
ang gubat sa bisaya.. nag boto boto na..
ang gubat sa bisaya.. nag boto boto na..
#2021
Anonymous Diary Blog / Re: Hoy Bol-anons let's learn Tagalog!
September 08, 2007, 04:54:50 PMQuote from: Bambi on September 01, 2007, 03:50:43 AMtila-ok .. means lalamunan..
salamat kaajo .... for the batok and what is bitok?
bitok means bulati..
#2022
Family & Parenting / Re: Divorce and Legal separation is only for rich Filipinos?
September 08, 2007, 04:49:36 PMQuote from: asianfairy on September 07, 2007, 01:38:56 PMmahal dili kaya sa mga pobre at need gyod ka bangiitang abogado..at dili sad basta basta ma annul basta mahina ang ground..it well takes time.. dali ra daw basta walay mobabag sa inyong duha.
That divorce /legal separation is only for the rich is unfair.
Nganong mga dato ramay maka divorce?
#2023
Family & Parenting / Re: Divorce and Legal separation is only for rich Filipinos?
September 08, 2007, 04:43:40 PM
kasagaran man gyod sa mga babae modikit sa pari ,maong matintal ra pod intawn si pader kay tao lang..
#2024
Question and Answer / Re: Why women like chocolates?
September 08, 2007, 04:38:36 PMQuote from: Happy on June 06, 2007, 04:47:39 AM
Last month nya sobra pa jud to sa akong pinalit atong March hehehe... Wala ko hadlok sa diabetes, dili lang jud ko hingaon ug chocolate. Waman gud ko maanad ana sa gamay pako.. Linung-ag nga rice nuon, bisan unsa pay ipares kaon ko, bisan asin ra ug suka, lami na kaayo na para nako..
Pareho sa strawberry, mokaon ko pero dili kaayo, ingon sila ako ra daw ila nailhan dili ganahan strawberry, weird daw ko. Na! bahala sila oi, mokaon baya ko pero dili jud nga maghinam hinam kung naay strawberry. Ang ako hinam hinaman ug kaon nga maoy akong pinakapaborito kay Durian man(nisamot ka weird no?)
saon man gud cel nga naanad manta kaon ug Sambag. Santol , batuan ug tambis..ako special kay abihid.. mas weird pa kay puro aslum..
#2025
Health and Food / Re: We Are What We Eat: Foods For Your Skin
September 08, 2007, 03:08:28 PM
unsaon maning kalakiha nga ug unsa nalay naa..samot hilig raba ko ug noodles..
tnx for the info..
tnx for the info..
#2026
Health and Food / Re: Death By Chocolate
September 08, 2007, 03:02:01 PM
grabi pod iyang bf gadala man diay tug kamandag.grabiha noh nuts lang nahilo na..
#2028
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 02:24:37 PM
tagalog nga bisita sa pista
bai imbitara ra gud ng mga tagawog sa gawas ingna dayun lang ayaw ka ulaw, kaun ug inum lang sa ilang gusto, ingna nga isipa nga ila ning balay kay pista bitaw....
way kurat bai!!!!
"Hoy mga tagalog tuloy kayo mga walang hiya, kain kayo ng kain, inum kayo ng inum akala nyo bahay nyo to, piyesta pa naman!!!"
bai imbitara ra gud ng mga tagawog sa gawas ingna dayun lang ayaw ka ulaw, kaun ug inum lang sa ilang gusto, ingna nga isipa nga ila ning balay kay pista bitaw....
way kurat bai!!!!
"Hoy mga tagalog tuloy kayo mga walang hiya, kain kayo ng kain, inum kayo ng inum akala nyo bahay nyo to, piyesta pa naman!!!"
#2029
Question and Answer / Re: If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
September 08, 2007, 02:16:46 PMIf you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would you choose? )
Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He's done sooo much incredible stuff.
#2030
Question and Answer / Re: If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
September 08, 2007, 02:10:47 PMQuote from: Bambi on September 06, 2007, 08:40:46 AMy not basta naay sponsors..
Want to have it together with all TB active members all around the World.... and that would be happened of course in BOHOL. How i wish to make this real!
#2031
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mag-ila-ila lagi ta
September 08, 2007, 01:21:06 PM
kini si swakee. lipat lipat ning iyahang address. abi kay pista sa loon karon gapa punta cruz napod. heheh. peace..
#2032
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mag-ila-ila lagi ta
September 08, 2007, 01:19:03 PMQuote from: Bambi on August 25, 2007, 11:08:17 AM
Hello Barbaro!
I will welcome you as a "Balik TB" very active member.... had read lot of your issues which made me happy, perting mouta man ka DOY! - go on Bol-anon go!!!!!!!
First, got wrong reading your name, i thought you named yourself as "BABAERO" - sorry gjod but must have to tell u
I am new in this sort of addiction look at my eyes in the photo, "High Kaajo"
Yeahhh BAMBI tnx kaayo.. pero ayaw anang babaero kay naako ana panagsa.. wahahha. joks..taken nako intawn..
#2033
Introduce Yourself / Re: ATTENDANCE
September 08, 2007, 01:09:07 PM
ayay.. dili ba pwedi top 11 nalang.. hago raning busy ta oi.. dili ta kasulod kanunay wala noon ko maapil dah..
#2034
Talk of the Town / Re: Panglao International Airport Deal or No Deal?
September 08, 2007, 01:03:08 PM
murag dili na kaayo kinahanglanon kay dool nata kaayo ug cebu.. pero kung may kaayuhan nga maedulot DEAL.. pero HOT kaayo nga issue maayo pa itigil nalang kay mga politico lang ang mabolahan..
#2035
Question and Answer / Re: If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
September 08, 2007, 12:54:42 PMQuote from: Ginger on September 08, 2007, 07:02:39 AMehemmm murag wala kaila ai..
na marente na namo si Jessica...hahahaha
#2036
Question and Answer / Re: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
September 08, 2007, 12:51:43 PM
for me CAMEL..kay Holy Animal.
#2037
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:48:58 PMnamisita ang lalake unya naka tapad na sa babae
L: (aguy animas ning kamote ang panihapon, kautoton na kaayo ko... aguy di na gyud mapugngan....)
pppprrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttt
B: bantay,...... pahawa diha.....
L: bugoy gyud ni si bantay da(hay salamat ang naay iro gipasanginlan)
(aguy kautoton na sad ko.....) prrrttttttttttttt!!!!
B: bantay........ pahawa lagi diha!!!!!!
L: bugoya nimo bantay oi.... (hay salamat si bantay napud napasanginlan)
(aguy kautoton napud koooooooo,......) ppprrrrrrrrttttttttt!!!!!!
B: BANTAY!!!!! unsa man ka! pahawa lagi diha!!! MAIGITAN KA!!!!
#2038
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:43:49 PMQuote from: ms da binsi on September 08, 2007, 12:32:46 PMwahahah okey lang oi.. basta malipayon..
gihinay2x na mi nimo ug patay...
#2039
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:42:52 PMQuote from: C2H4 on September 08, 2007, 12:34:14 PMdia ko sa offshore oil drilling..
Unsa man na nga klase sa duty Barbaro?
#2040
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:41:42 PMQuote from: Bambi on August 25, 2007, 12:54:22 PMsa mga kauban pod na nako .. basta magkadungan mi ug pangaon..mga talsik lagi ng kan-on basta mag joks na..
Hi Barbaro!
Dis-a ka mo-eskuyla ining good jokes. I like those and enjoy it. it makes me HAPPY KAAJO! you have some more?
#2041
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
September 08, 2007, 12:36:31 PM
adto napod ta sa laing topic oi.
#2042
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:31:47 PM
ayaw saba kay nag duty ko..
#2043
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
September 08, 2007, 12:30:20 PM
anak nalipay gyud ako nga naka tungtong ka sa kolihiyo
oo tay ako pud nindot kaayo sa san carlos kay tudloan ka nila ug ininglis (diay to dugay ra hagbong wa nay sulod sulod sa eskwelahan--- sige nalang dawat allowance unya gastuhon sa kilid sa san carlos :wink2: )
mao ba anak? sus maayo diay sa pa ako i hinambog sa mga bisita nato karun nga kahibawo kana mag ininglis!!!!
anak unsaun man nimo pag ingon kung imong pa ariun ng atong katabang nga naa sa kusina?
sayun ra na tay!! ingnon ra na nimo "come here" (dala pa pangamay hehehe)
pero nak kung nia siya diri unya gusto nimo siya paadtuon sa kusina?
(gipaningot ug maayo ang anak)
ahhh sayun ra na tay!! adto ka sa kusina dayun ingon nimo siya nga "come here"
patay!!!!
oo tay ako pud nindot kaayo sa san carlos kay tudloan ka nila ug ininglis (diay to dugay ra hagbong wa nay sulod sulod sa eskwelahan--- sige nalang dawat allowance unya gastuhon sa kilid sa san carlos :wink2: )
mao ba anak? sus maayo diay sa pa ako i hinambog sa mga bisita nato karun nga kahibawo kana mag ininglis!!!!
anak unsaun man nimo pag ingon kung imong pa ariun ng atong katabang nga naa sa kusina?
sayun ra na tay!! ingnon ra na nimo "come here" (dala pa pangamay hehehe)
pero nak kung nia siya diri unya gusto nimo siya paadtuon sa kusina?
(gipaningot ug maayo ang anak)
ahhh sayun ra na tay!! adto ka sa kusina dayun ingon nimo siya nga "come here"
patay!!!!
#2044
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
September 08, 2007, 12:25:29 PM
anak: tay gai ko kwarta bi bisag dot lang
papa: kadako na nimo dot lang gihapon
ga siga lang na imong mata dot sa imong kalimotaw
hala kini ra imo kay way lain
anak: pila man na tay?
Papa: pitot!!!
papa: kadako na nimo dot lang gihapon
ga siga lang na imong mata dot sa imong kalimotaw
hala kini ra imo kay way lain
anak: pila man na tay?
Papa: pitot!!!
#2045
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:24:46 PM
oistt.. pug ngi oi.. okey lang kung mangihi ka sa banig..
#2046
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 12:13:53 PMQuote from: ms da binsi on September 08, 2007, 01:51:12 AMlaugh lang gud..ayaw ko pasanginli..
bwahahhahhahahha bahakhak ko ako ra usa, barbarooooooooooooooooo patyun gyud tika ug ma heart attack ko.!!!
#2047
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 01:28:52 AM
Dan the Bicol Man.
Si Dan, taga Bicol:
Miabot si Dan sa America sa tabang sa iya pare nga may kontak sa immigration sa Pilipinas. Medyo tagilid ang papeles niya mao nga pirmi siyang nag-amping(TNT baga). Di gyud mogawas sa balay kung dili kauban ija pare.
Giabot ug kakapoy iya pare sa kaaalalay, iya giingnan, "Pre dia ang yawe sa kotse ug mga credit cards, magshopping ka sa mall para malingaw ka, kung may problema, tawgi lang ko sa telepono, moduty usa ko sa office.
Naikod naman kaajo si Dan bisa'g ginerbiyos, mitesting gyud ug shopping2.Nalingaw gyud, may credit cards gud.
Nakapili siya ug mga karsones, tshirts, etc. nga gusto niya pero pag-abot sa cashier, mitukar ija nerbiyos
Pangutana sa cashier,
"Visa or Master Card?"
Natarantar na " Sus gipangita ako Visa"
Sus bisto na ako! Syet!" Sakay dayon sa kotse.
Sirit gyud mora'g nagpadagan sa highway....
Ang problema, iya nakit-an hapit na ma-empty ang gasolina sa kotse mao nga mihunong siya sa gas station. Pagpagas niya, ingon na sab ang cashier sa speaker, Sir, pay first, please."
"Naku, patay! Papers daw! Gipangita ang papers nako!"
Midagan si Dan sa mga kanto2 hangtod nakakita ug payphone booth
Sekreto siyang miduol sa payphone.
"(Hangos) Kinahanglan matawgan si pare para makuha ko niya dire(hangos)."
Pagtaas niya sa handle sa telepono, iya nabatian,
"AT&T how can I help you?"
Sus bisan ang payphone nakahibalo nga TNT ko! Bisto na gyud ko!"
Pagbutang niya sa telepono, may Amerikanong nagtindog sa likod niya, nangutana, "Are you done?"
Dali2 gaswas si Dan sa phone booth. "Litseng jawa kahibalo pa sa ako ngalan!"
Nakurat ang kano, "Hey, be cool, man!"
"Sus kahibalo pa kon taga diin ko!"
"Is that your green car parked in the red zone?"
Kakuyapon na si Dan! "Gipangitaan pa ko'g green
card"!!!!!
Mao nga sa sobrang kahadlok nagpadakop na lang si Dan.
Karon si Dan tua na sa Bicol miuli ug ginganlan siya'g Dan Balikbayan
Si Dan, taga Bicol:
Miabot si Dan sa America sa tabang sa iya pare nga may kontak sa immigration sa Pilipinas. Medyo tagilid ang papeles niya mao nga pirmi siyang nag-amping(TNT baga). Di gyud mogawas sa balay kung dili kauban ija pare.
Giabot ug kakapoy iya pare sa kaaalalay, iya giingnan, "Pre dia ang yawe sa kotse ug mga credit cards, magshopping ka sa mall para malingaw ka, kung may problema, tawgi lang ko sa telepono, moduty usa ko sa office.
Naikod naman kaajo si Dan bisa'g ginerbiyos, mitesting gyud ug shopping2.Nalingaw gyud, may credit cards gud.
Nakapili siya ug mga karsones, tshirts, etc. nga gusto niya pero pag-abot sa cashier, mitukar ija nerbiyos
Pangutana sa cashier,
"Visa or Master Card?"
Natarantar na " Sus gipangita ako Visa"
Sus bisto na ako! Syet!" Sakay dayon sa kotse.
Sirit gyud mora'g nagpadagan sa highway....
Ang problema, iya nakit-an hapit na ma-empty ang gasolina sa kotse mao nga mihunong siya sa gas station. Pagpagas niya, ingon na sab ang cashier sa speaker, Sir, pay first, please."
"Naku, patay! Papers daw! Gipangita ang papers nako!"
Midagan si Dan sa mga kanto2 hangtod nakakita ug payphone booth
Sekreto siyang miduol sa payphone.
"(Hangos) Kinahanglan matawgan si pare para makuha ko niya dire(hangos)."
Pagtaas niya sa handle sa telepono, iya nabatian,
"AT&T how can I help you?"
Sus bisan ang payphone nakahibalo nga TNT ko! Bisto na gyud ko!"
Pagbutang niya sa telepono, may Amerikanong nagtindog sa likod niya, nangutana, "Are you done?"
Dali2 gaswas si Dan sa phone booth. "Litseng jawa kahibalo pa sa ako ngalan!"
Nakurat ang kano, "Hey, be cool, man!"
"Sus kahibalo pa kon taga diin ko!"
"Is that your green car parked in the red zone?"
Kakuyapon na si Dan! "Gipangitaan pa ko'g green
card"!!!!!
Mao nga sa sobrang kahadlok nagpadakop na lang si Dan.
Karon si Dan tua na sa Bicol miuli ug ginganlan siya'g Dan Balikbayan
#2048
Jokes and Humor / Re: Joke Time Again!!!
September 08, 2007, 01:26:33 AM
bata
-------
a dabi ayo dakan an dyip ni tatay oi
totoy-totoy lang way brip-brip
pag yiko bitaw kayit
dah i*** lagi ayang!!!!
-------
a dabi ayo dakan an dyip ni tatay oi
totoy-totoy lang way brip-brip
pag yiko bitaw kayit
dah i*** lagi ayang!!!!
#2049
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
September 08, 2007, 01:24:24 AM
Job Advertisement: Kinsa toy nangita ug dako ug suweldo kadiyot ug katagsa ra ka magtrabaho!!!!!
Ngadto lang sa Cebu Police Recruitment Division. Naay job vacancy didto anha ka magtrabaho uban2 sa patrol car. Ang imo trabaho kada ra naay gukoron ang patrol car. Ila gibutangan ug buho ang atop sa patrol car, kon naay gukoron mogawas imo ulo ikaw maoy mahimong siren....wawawwawawaw..... kadiyot ra kaajo nga trabaho kay hunong man ka ug singgit kon madakpan na ang dakponon:crazy:
Ngadto lang sa Cebu Police Recruitment Division. Naay job vacancy didto anha ka magtrabaho uban2 sa patrol car. Ang imo trabaho kada ra naay gukoron ang patrol car. Ila gibutangan ug buho ang atop sa patrol car, kon naay gukoron mogawas imo ulo ikaw maoy mahimong siren....wawawwawawaw..... kadiyot ra kaajo nga trabaho kay hunong man ka ug singgit kon madakpan na ang dakponon:crazy:
#2050
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
September 08, 2007, 01:17:48 AM
bai naa bag-o negosyo maayo
unsa man?
naa ba ka bakante nga lote nga way gamit?
naa bai!!!
maayo tamnan nato na pero mga few years pa ang sugod gyud sa business
unsa man?
tamnan nato ug balite ug acasia!!! nindot kaayo na nga negosyo bai mas maayo pa sa falcata ug sa gemelina mas maayo pa gyud sa nara!!!!
mao ba? dawbi asa man ta mangita ug buyer puhon?
di nato i baligya bai atong paabangan sa agta ug mga dili ingon nato!!!!!
wi wick lang atong ipa collect sa rental!
unsa man?
naa ba ka bakante nga lote nga way gamit?
naa bai!!!
maayo tamnan nato na pero mga few years pa ang sugod gyud sa business
unsa man?
tamnan nato ug balite ug acasia!!! nindot kaayo na nga negosyo bai mas maayo pa sa falcata ug sa gemelina mas maayo pa gyud sa nara!!!!
mao ba? dawbi asa man ta mangita ug buyer puhon?
di nato i baligya bai atong paabangan sa agta ug mga dili ingon nato!!!!!
wi wick lang atong ipa collect sa rental!
#2051
Technology / Re: How can you retrieve instant messages.
August 28, 2007, 08:30:19 PMQuote from: Bohol on August 26, 2007, 10:36:41 PMtnx kaayo Mike.. at sa mga mamabait na members na nagjoin sa topic.
Barbs, same procedure as suggested by Lumine. If you turn on your archive option in YM, all your chat sessions will be stored in YM whichever computer you use.
But this is not retroactive. So, unarchived chat history is forever lost (client side), but not in the data center of Yahoo in Sunnyvale, California (server side).
#2052
Technology / Re: How can you retrieve instant messages.
August 26, 2007, 06:18:54 AM
tnx alot galen..
#2053
Bohol Directory / What are we to do with heritage white elephants?
August 25, 2007, 04:18:23 AM
What are we to do with heritage white elephants?
By Augusto Villalon
Inquirer
Last updated 02:19am (Mla time) 08/20/2007
MANILA, Philippines -- Despite the growing campaign to save Philippine
heritage, the honest truth is that a lot (or most) of the heritage
structures we campaign to save are really white elephants.
What are we to do with those white elephants?
On the verge of becoming white elephants are our World Heritage-inscribed
Rice Terraces of the Philippine Cordillera.
A site of incontestable beauty, the rice terraces are one of the few places
on our planet where natural and cultural heritage combine to produce a
landscape of such impact. Seeing the struggle for the place to keep up with
the 21st century leads to the question, Is heritage enough?
Heritage might be enough for inanimate objects, stuff for display like empty
architectural monuments or valuable objects locked up under glass in museums
that are lifeless markers of the past.
A place like the rice terraces, unquestionably a marker of Philippine
heritage, is far from being an inert monument to the past, enshrined in
museum-like stillness.
For centuries the terraces' traditional practicesâ€"cultural, religious,
environmental, agricultural, hydrological and artisticâ€"revolved around the
rice- growing cycle, supporting the life of their inhabitants. Massive
migration out of the terraces is proof that the traditional lifestyle has
become extremely difficult to maintain today, leading to an endless search
for solutions that will update the tough Cordillera lifestyle while
maintaining cultural roots.
Unlike similar rice-growing mountain terraces in China that have long been
abandoned, the terraces of the Philippine Cordillera aren't relics. The
terraces, however, search for ways to maintain their connection to human
life.
Relics of the past deserve to continue living. Once it was thought that the
best thing to do with an old Spanish colonial-era house was to turn it into
a museum, so many houses stopped being homes and turned into excellent
museums, each displaying exquisite collections of furniture and furnishings.
The museums as total nostalgia re-live past eras through collections of
objects from a bygone era that make no connection to daily life today.
Bed-and-breakfast
There are heritage homes that now have recently learned to make use of their
past as a resource to connect to their present. Owners develop their
heritage homes as a resource not only to generate additional income to
improve their way of living but also to provide financial means to continue
conserving their heritage properties.
Through the bed-and-breakfast program, heritage houses continue to be used
and be useful rather than stagnate into lifeless museum displays or fall
into disrepair and decay.
Owners of a group of heritage homes in the historic town of Baclayon in
Bohol have formed a bed-and-breakfast association, initially offering a
total of over 20 rooms in neighboring houses. Converting unused bedrooms as
guest lodgings uses heritage positively as an income-generating resource, as
a source of pride and local identity, and, most important, keeps the
heritage alive and up-to-date.
And as a tourism experience, the hospitality offered by the homeowners
participating in the Baclayon bed-and-breakfast program brings travelers
into personal contact with the gentle Boholano culture.
Heritage houses glow differently when occupied. Their glow becomes warmer
when they continue usefulness, as lodging houses, schools, offices, or for
whatever purpose. They also glow better because they are earning their keep.
Definitely with a glow that warms the heart is the Dauis convento in Bohol
where, under a magnificently painted wooden cupola in the convento, a dinner
of down-home Boholano cuisine is served by local youth trained as cooks and
waiters.
They serve the regional Bisayá food of my youth on impeccable china and
linen in unsurpassable convento surroundings, a great experience that
combines tangible heritage (the splendid architecture of the convento) and
intangible heritage (regional food, performances of traditional music).
Intangibles
The intangibles give life to heritage, connects heritage to people. Instead
of the sites being lifeless and empty, think of the texture daily life adds
to the rice terraces, the heritage houses of Baclayon, and the white
elephant that would have been the Dauis convento.
In the three sites, heritage generates income through tourism, one of the
more obvious uses for heritage-based resources.
The intangible, or the software, makes the heritage memorable. It is the
stuff that makes for great tourism experiences.
It is the intangible that radiates life to a place, connects tourists to
locals and their traditions.
The intangible is the "spirit of place" that makes the visitor part of the
local life, even if just for a few hours or days.
Think of the rice terraces without inhabitants, the houses in Baclayon
empty, the convento in Dauis continuing to decay.
Then see the benefits from judicious use of their heritage as resources for
income-generation.
Heritage really should not produce more white elephants than we can handle.
It should benefit people.
Baclayon bed-and-breakfast will be ready to receive visitors in the near
future. Bookings are required at Dauis convento, call 0921-6643277 or (038)
502-2008.
By Augusto Villalon
Inquirer
Last updated 02:19am (Mla time) 08/20/2007
MANILA, Philippines -- Despite the growing campaign to save Philippine
heritage, the honest truth is that a lot (or most) of the heritage
structures we campaign to save are really white elephants.
What are we to do with those white elephants?
On the verge of becoming white elephants are our World Heritage-inscribed
Rice Terraces of the Philippine Cordillera.
A site of incontestable beauty, the rice terraces are one of the few places
on our planet where natural and cultural heritage combine to produce a
landscape of such impact. Seeing the struggle for the place to keep up with
the 21st century leads to the question, Is heritage enough?
Heritage might be enough for inanimate objects, stuff for display like empty
architectural monuments or valuable objects locked up under glass in museums
that are lifeless markers of the past.
A place like the rice terraces, unquestionably a marker of Philippine
heritage, is far from being an inert monument to the past, enshrined in
museum-like stillness.
For centuries the terraces' traditional practicesâ€"cultural, religious,
environmental, agricultural, hydrological and artisticâ€"revolved around the
rice- growing cycle, supporting the life of their inhabitants. Massive
migration out of the terraces is proof that the traditional lifestyle has
become extremely difficult to maintain today, leading to an endless search
for solutions that will update the tough Cordillera lifestyle while
maintaining cultural roots.
Unlike similar rice-growing mountain terraces in China that have long been
abandoned, the terraces of the Philippine Cordillera aren't relics. The
terraces, however, search for ways to maintain their connection to human
life.
Relics of the past deserve to continue living. Once it was thought that the
best thing to do with an old Spanish colonial-era house was to turn it into
a museum, so many houses stopped being homes and turned into excellent
museums, each displaying exquisite collections of furniture and furnishings.
The museums as total nostalgia re-live past eras through collections of
objects from a bygone era that make no connection to daily life today.
Bed-and-breakfast
There are heritage homes that now have recently learned to make use of their
past as a resource to connect to their present. Owners develop their
heritage homes as a resource not only to generate additional income to
improve their way of living but also to provide financial means to continue
conserving their heritage properties.
Through the bed-and-breakfast program, heritage houses continue to be used
and be useful rather than stagnate into lifeless museum displays or fall
into disrepair and decay.
Owners of a group of heritage homes in the historic town of Baclayon in
Bohol have formed a bed-and-breakfast association, initially offering a
total of over 20 rooms in neighboring houses. Converting unused bedrooms as
guest lodgings uses heritage positively as an income-generating resource, as
a source of pride and local identity, and, most important, keeps the
heritage alive and up-to-date.
And as a tourism experience, the hospitality offered by the homeowners
participating in the Baclayon bed-and-breakfast program brings travelers
into personal contact with the gentle Boholano culture.
Heritage houses glow differently when occupied. Their glow becomes warmer
when they continue usefulness, as lodging houses, schools, offices, or for
whatever purpose. They also glow better because they are earning their keep.
Definitely with a glow that warms the heart is the Dauis convento in Bohol
where, under a magnificently painted wooden cupola in the convento, a dinner
of down-home Boholano cuisine is served by local youth trained as cooks and
waiters.
They serve the regional Bisayá food of my youth on impeccable china and
linen in unsurpassable convento surroundings, a great experience that
combines tangible heritage (the splendid architecture of the convento) and
intangible heritage (regional food, performances of traditional music).
Intangibles
The intangibles give life to heritage, connects heritage to people. Instead
of the sites being lifeless and empty, think of the texture daily life adds
to the rice terraces, the heritage houses of Baclayon, and the white
elephant that would have been the Dauis convento.
In the three sites, heritage generates income through tourism, one of the
more obvious uses for heritage-based resources.
The intangible, or the software, makes the heritage memorable. It is the
stuff that makes for great tourism experiences.
It is the intangible that radiates life to a place, connects tourists to
locals and their traditions.
The intangible is the "spirit of place" that makes the visitor part of the
local life, even if just for a few hours or days.
Think of the rice terraces without inhabitants, the houses in Baclayon
empty, the convento in Dauis continuing to decay.
Then see the benefits from judicious use of their heritage as resources for
income-generation.
Heritage really should not produce more white elephants than we can handle.
It should benefit people.
Baclayon bed-and-breakfast will be ready to receive visitors in the near
future. Bookings are required at Dauis convento, call 0921-6643277 or (038)
502-2008.
#2054
General Topic / Re: Cars, Cars and More Cars
August 25, 2007, 04:09:31 AM
Ako simple ra kaayo..TSINILAS ADVENTURE..made of BF GoodRich tire.. 
#2055
Weird and Extreme / Re: How to Have Real Sex with Virtual, In-Game Characters?
August 25, 2007, 04:04:29 AM
bitaw naay daghan na gani.. pero kung gusto mog susyal kay sa quiapo man ang daghan.. Sa Robinson Pasig i saw shop there..
#2056
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mag-ila-ila lagi ta
August 25, 2007, 04:00:20 AM
ok close bibig naako..
#2057
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mag-ila-ila lagi ta
August 25, 2007, 03:51:09 AMQuote from: Ginger on August 25, 2007, 03:40:34 AMTalaga ms mo ako??? hindi ka nag txt day..
hello Barbaro! we missed you! di-in man intawn ka dodong?! ila-ila ta utro kay hapit nami kalimot nimo...(joke)
busy kaayo sa mga katalagman sa kinabuhi..
#2058
Technology / Re: How can you retrieve instant messages.
August 25, 2007, 03:48:32 AM
Tnx guys.. Mike,anong masabi mo dito mayroon kaya??
#2059
Technology / How can you retrieve instant messages.
August 25, 2007, 03:35:37 AM
How can you retrieve instant messages from yahoo messenger from a different computer?
Help plssss...
Help plssss...
#2060
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mag-ila-ila lagi ta
August 25, 2007, 03:31:54 AM
hello hazel.. Ginger spice..
#2061
Inspiration & Hope / Re: MAGTINABANGAY TA....
August 23, 2007, 12:39:41 PM
Any plan count me in!!!!!
#2062
Technology / Re: Free Download of AVG Anti-spyware. Must-have in your computer
August 23, 2007, 12:01:40 PM
tnx for info mike..
#2064
Jokes and Humor / Re: Men & Women
August 23, 2007, 11:51:50 AM
But now we have conculsive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged:
RELATIONSHIPS:
First, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he
refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were boinking on a
semi-regular basis.
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out
to the girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are
Idiots." Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the
break at 3 am early on a Sunday morning - he will call and say "I just
want you to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you,
and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know
there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love
You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once.
There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this
need; alas these classes rarely prove effective.
SEX:
Women prefer 30-45 minutes of foreplay.
Men prefer 30-45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back
to her place as part of the foreplay.
MATURITY:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can
function as adults.
Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and
giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school
romances rarely work out.
HATS:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.
COMEDY:
Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching
television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately,
the men will get very excited - they will laugh uproariously, and even
try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite Stooge.
The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
HANDWRITING:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just
chicken-scratch.
Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's"
with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their
"p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even
when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
BATHROOMS:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush,
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is
437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
MAGAZINES:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is
because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body
is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.
GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the
store and buys these things.
A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half of a
lemon, and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He
buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout
counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on The
Beverley Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to
the10-items-or-less lane.
GOING OUT:
When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.
When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means that she WILL
be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes
putting on her makeup...
SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit,
and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a
plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her
dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet
are under her desk.
A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.
LEG WARMERS:
Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or
doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any
time she wants.
A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the
"Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."
CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
MIRRORS:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in
any shiny surface - mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe
Garagiola's head...
GARAGES:
Women use garages to parke their cars and to store their lawnmowers.
Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in
garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless wooden things
in garages.
MOVIES:
For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses
Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind."
For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae
Clark's face in "Public Enemy."
JEWELRY:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry.
A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Anymore
than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
MENOPAUSE:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of
complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature
and degree of the changes varies with the individual.
Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction. He buys aviator
glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes
shopping for an expensive foreign sports car.
THE TELEPHONE:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the
telephone to send short messages to other people.
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon
returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for
three hours.
LOW BLOWS:
Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on
television, and one of the fighters is felled by a low blow.
The woman says, "Oh, gee, that must hurt."
The man doubles over and actually feels the pain.
DIRECTIONS:
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar
surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.
Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. A man will never stop
and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the
while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there, "
and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store."
ADMITTING MISTAKES:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.
The last man who admitted that he was wrong was General George
Custurd
RICHARD GERE:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.
Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy
who works out at the health club and dates only married women
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends
and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail...
A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
NUDITY IN MOVIES:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude
scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been
produced by men.
The only actor who has ever appeard nude in the movies is Richard
Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
DAVID LETTERMAN:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the
earth.
Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad
haircut.
CAMERAS:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for
state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography
classes.
Women purchase Kodak Instamatics, and often produce better-looking
shots.
POLITICS:
Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do
political things such as voting.
Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is
growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to
campaign for them and cry on election night.
LOCKER ROOMS:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football,
and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly
as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.
Women talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. Not in
abstract terms, either. They're graphic and technical, and they *never* lie.
LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days.
A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his
surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his
laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty
sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to
the laundromat, and expect to meet a beautiful woman while he is there.
WEDDINGS:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about the "ceremony."
Men talk about "the bachelor party."
CHEERLEADERS:
Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American.
Male cheerleaders are scary.
GYM SOCKS:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks.
Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles,
have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
TOYS:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the
age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get
older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples
of mens toys: miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and
blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots the serve cocktails on
command, video games, and anything that blinks, beeps and requires at
least six "D" batteries to operate.
PLANTS:
A woman will ask a man to water her plants while she is on
vacation. The man will water the plants. The woman returns five days
later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
MUSTACHES:
Some men look good with mustaches: Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds.
There are no women who look good with mustaches.
RELATIONSHIPS:
First, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he
refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were boinking on a
semi-regular basis.
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out
to the girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are
Idiots." Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the
break at 3 am early on a Sunday morning - he will call and say "I just
want you to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you,
and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know
there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love
You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once.
There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this
need; alas these classes rarely prove effective.
SEX:
Women prefer 30-45 minutes of foreplay.
Men prefer 30-45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back
to her place as part of the foreplay.
MATURITY:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can
function as adults.
Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and
giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school
romances rarely work out.
HATS:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.
COMEDY:
Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching
television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately,
the men will get very excited - they will laugh uproariously, and even
try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite Stooge.
The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
HANDWRITING:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just
chicken-scratch.
Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's"
with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their
"p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even
when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
BATHROOMS:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush,
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is
437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
MAGAZINES:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is
because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body
is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.
GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the
store and buys these things.
A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half of a
lemon, and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He
buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout
counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on The
Beverley Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to
the10-items-or-less lane.
GOING OUT:
When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.
When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means that she WILL
be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes
putting on her makeup...
SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit,
and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a
plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her
dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet
are under her desk.
A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.
LEG WARMERS:
Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or
doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any
time she wants.
A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the
"Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."
CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
MIRRORS:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in
any shiny surface - mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe
Garagiola's head...
GARAGES:
Women use garages to parke their cars and to store their lawnmowers.
Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in
garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless wooden things
in garages.
MOVIES:
For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses
Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind."
For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae
Clark's face in "Public Enemy."
JEWELRY:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry.
A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Anymore
than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
MENOPAUSE:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of
complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature
and degree of the changes varies with the individual.
Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction. He buys aviator
glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes
shopping for an expensive foreign sports car.
THE TELEPHONE:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the
telephone to send short messages to other people.
A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon
returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for
three hours.
LOW BLOWS:
Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on
television, and one of the fighters is felled by a low blow.
The woman says, "Oh, gee, that must hurt."
The man doubles over and actually feels the pain.
DIRECTIONS:
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar
surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.
Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. A man will never stop
and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the
while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there, "
and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store."
ADMITTING MISTAKES:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.
The last man who admitted that he was wrong was General George
Custurd
RICHARD GERE:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.
Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy
who works out at the health club and dates only married women
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends
and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail...
A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
NUDITY IN MOVIES:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude
scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been
produced by men.
The only actor who has ever appeard nude in the movies is Richard
Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
DAVID LETTERMAN:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the
earth.
Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad
haircut.
CAMERAS:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for
state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography
classes.
Women purchase Kodak Instamatics, and often produce better-looking
shots.
POLITICS:
Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do
political things such as voting.
Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is
growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to
campaign for them and cry on election night.
LOCKER ROOMS:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football,
and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly
as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.
Women talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. Not in
abstract terms, either. They're graphic and technical, and they *never* lie.
LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days.
A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his
surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his
laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty
sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to
the laundromat, and expect to meet a beautiful woman while he is there.
WEDDINGS:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about the "ceremony."
Men talk about "the bachelor party."
CHEERLEADERS:
Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American.
Male cheerleaders are scary.
GYM SOCKS:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks.
Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles,
have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
TOYS:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the
age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get
older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples
of mens toys: miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and
blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots the serve cocktails on
command, video games, and anything that blinks, beeps and requires at
least six "D" batteries to operate.
PLANTS:
A woman will ask a man to water her plants while she is on
vacation. The man will water the plants. The woman returns five days
later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
MUSTACHES:
Some men look good with mustaches: Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds.
There are no women who look good with mustaches.
#2065
Jokes and Humor / Government Healthcare
August 23, 2007, 11:47:57 AM
Medicare In A Nutshell
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
"Hello. Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a
biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain
which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."
"What do you mean?" asked Mrs. Ward nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the
other
one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" asked Mrs. Ward.
Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Mrs. Ward.
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep
with him.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
"Hello. Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a
biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain
which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible."
"What do you mean?" asked Mrs. Ward nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the
other
one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" asked Mrs. Ward.
Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Mrs. Ward.
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep
with him.
#2066
Jokes and Humor / New Company Policy
August 23, 2007, 11:46:22 AM
ATTN: ALL EMPLOYEES
NEW COMPANY POLICIES EFFECTIVE EMMIDIATELYABOUT:
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Gary gets none.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.
-- Management
NEW COMPANY POLICIES EFFECTIVE EMMIDIATELYABOUT:
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Gary gets none.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.
-- Management
#2067
Jokes and Humor / Yooper Airlines
August 23, 2007, 11:42:49 AM
We Are Pleased To Announce Yooper Air Is Now Operating In Minnysota. Also Serving Visconsin, Nort And Sout Dakota.
If you are travelin soon, consider Yooper Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Yooper Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Yooper Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Yooper Air. Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cab in pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I vouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say 'trespass against us,' which isn't right, but what can you do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because daymay confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin ! Right now I'll say Grace: 'Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar,Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close.' Amen
p.s. To understand this ~ it really helps if you are from Michigan........Ya.
If you are travelin soon, consider Yooper Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Yooper Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Yooper Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Yooper Air. Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cab in pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I vouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say 'trespass against us,' which isn't right, but what can you do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because daymay confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin ! Right now I'll say Grace: 'Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar,Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close.' Amen
p.s. To understand this ~ it really helps if you are from Michigan........Ya.
#2068
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
August 17, 2007, 03:23:56 PM
APO: bilib jud ko sa imo lo. hantud karon sweetheart ug honey ang tawag nimo kang lola!
LOLO: ayaw pag saba dinha. teknik na! nakalimot ko sa ngalan sa imo lola.......
LOLO: ayaw pag saba dinha. teknik na! nakalimot ko sa ngalan sa imo lola.......
#2069
Jokes and Humor / Men & Women
August 16, 2007, 11:05:03 PM
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.
HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MEMORIES:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...
- One is to let her think she is having her own way.
- The other is to let her have it.
LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
MISTAKES:
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
THE BATTLE:
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.
HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.
MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MEMORIES:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...
- One is to let her think she is having her own way.
- The other is to let her have it.
LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
MISTAKES:
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
THE BATTLE:
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
#2070
Jokes and Humor / Re: ON LIGHTER SIDE
August 16, 2007, 10:49:24 PM
RING))) ((RING)))) (Pick Up). "Hello"?
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone"?
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
(After a brief pause).
Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul".
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now".
Brief Pause Uh, "okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the
phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway".
"Okay Daddy, just a minute".
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy".
"And what happened honey"? he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed and ran around
screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all".
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul"?
"He jumped out of the bed too. He was all scared, and he jumped out
of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think
he's dead".
Long Pause. Longer Pause.
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?... Is this 486-5731"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone"?
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
(After a brief pause).
Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul".
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now".
Brief Pause Uh, "okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the
phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to
Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway".
"Okay Daddy, just a minute".
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy".
"And what happened honey"? he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed and ran around
screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all".
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul"?
"He jumped out of the bed too. He was all scared, and he jumped out
of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think
he's dead".
Long Pause. Longer Pause.
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?... Is this 486-5731"
#2071
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
August 16, 2007, 10:47:15 PM
MAID: Sir, asay mas lami ako or si ma'am?
SIR : Syempre....ikaw.....
MAID: Bakakon man ka Sir. Ingon man lagi atong driver nga lami pa kuno si ma'am.....?!!
SIR : Syempre....ikaw.....
MAID: Bakakon man ka Sir. Ingon man lagi atong driver nga lami pa kuno si ma'am.....?!!
#2072
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
August 16, 2007, 10:43:51 PM
CUSTOMER: Day, kape.
TINDERA: Tag P10 na ra ba.
CUSTOMER: Diba P8 pa man to gahapon?
TINDERA: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.
CUSTOMER: Aw, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina day!
TINDERA: Tag P10 na ra ba.
CUSTOMER: Diba P8 pa man to gahapon?
TINDERA: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.
CUSTOMER: Aw, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina day!
#2073
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
August 16, 2007, 10:41:54 PM
KUMARE 1: Sus, ako mare! Perte jud nako ka limtanon kay ang akong pustiso ako mang isud sa ref.
KUMARE 2: Ay, wa ra ka nako mare. Mas limtanon pa ko nimo kay kun moagi gani ko sa hagdan, inig abot nako sa tunga-tunga makalimot ko kon pasaka ba ko o pakanaog.
KUMARE 3: (Dang pangyam-id) Sus, ako mga mare, simbako lang! (dang tuktok sa bongbong as in 'knock-on-wood' effect) Di jud nuon ko limtanon! (Dayong talikod) Kadyot usa mga mare ha, kay ako usang ablihan ang pultahan kay naay nanuktok!
KUMARE 2: Ay, wa ra ka nako mare. Mas limtanon pa ko nimo kay kun moagi gani ko sa hagdan, inig abot nako sa tunga-tunga makalimot ko kon pasaka ba ko o pakanaog.
KUMARE 3: (Dang pangyam-id) Sus, ako mga mare, simbako lang! (dang tuktok sa bongbong as in 'knock-on-wood' effect) Di jud nuon ko limtanon! (Dayong talikod) Kadyot usa mga mare ha, kay ako usang ablihan ang pultahan kay naay nanuktok!
#2074
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
August 16, 2007, 10:39:57 PM
PEDRO: Puslan mang way nagmahal maypa-MAGPAKAMATAY!
Ug si Pedro ni-dive sa SUBA. Few minutes later.........NITUNGA ug
nisinggit: WAAAAAAHHHH! Di ko kaginhawa! MURA KOG MAMATAY
Ug si Pedro ni-dive sa SUBA. Few minutes later.........NITUNGA ug
nisinggit: WAAAAAAHHHH! Di ko kaginhawa! MURA KOG MAMATAY
#2075
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
August 16, 2007, 10:37:52 PM
MOTHER: Anak! Nagdugo imong tudlo! Ari diri bi kay ato supsupon! Tsup..tsup..O, wala na. Asa man ka nasamad anak?
ANAK: Wala man ko masamad ma oi! Gipislat man nako ang KUTO sa IRO!!
ANAK: Wala man ko masamad ma oi! Gipislat man nako ang KUTO sa IRO!!
#2076
Bohol Tourism | Bohol Travel & Tour / Re: The Shy Tarsier
August 16, 2007, 10:31:29 PM
yeahhh.. nice.. anis-a kaha ni sya..
#2077
Health and Food / Re: Fake Breasts Linked to Suicide
August 15, 2007, 06:58:48 PM
maonay giingon nga dakoghinarap..
#2078
Health and Food / Re: Laughter is the best medicine! - A sense of humour reduces mortality
August 15, 2007, 06:56:42 PM
What is Humour Therapy?
Humour therapy is the term given to a therapeutic process which claims beneficial effects from the use of positive emotions associated with laughter.
Although used throughout history, interest in humour therapy is seen generally to have originated in the 1970s in America when Norman Cousins detailed his experiences in overcoming a serious chronic disease (ankylosing spondylitis - a form of arthritis) by laughing at favourite comedy shows such as ‘Candid Camera’ and ’Marx Brothers’ films (he stated that ten minutes of laughing gave him two hours of drug-free pain relief).
Research has shown that laughing can help in:
lowering blood pressure
reducing stress hormones
increasing muscle flexion
boosting immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gammainterferon and B-cells, which produce disease-destroying antibodies.
triggering the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers
producing a general sense of well-being.
Humour therapy is the term given to a therapeutic process which claims beneficial effects from the use of positive emotions associated with laughter.
Although used throughout history, interest in humour therapy is seen generally to have originated in the 1970s in America when Norman Cousins detailed his experiences in overcoming a serious chronic disease (ankylosing spondylitis - a form of arthritis) by laughing at favourite comedy shows such as ‘Candid Camera’ and ’Marx Brothers’ films (he stated that ten minutes of laughing gave him two hours of drug-free pain relief).
Research has shown that laughing can help in:
lowering blood pressure
reducing stress hormones
increasing muscle flexion
boosting immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gammainterferon and B-cells, which produce disease-destroying antibodies.
triggering the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers
producing a general sense of well-being.
#2079
Health and Food / Protect Kids from Toxic Toys, Group Urges Government.
August 15, 2007, 06:48:02 PM
Protect Kids from Toxic Toys, Group Urges Government
Manila Bulletin, 12 August 2007
Following a "device alert" warning issued by the Department of Health
against some imported toys containing toxic lead-based paints, the
EcoWaste Coalition today asked the government to require manufacturers
to test the toxicity of materials used in children's toys prior to sale.
The EcoWaste Coalition made the plea after Fisher-Price, a subsidiaryof Mattel Inc., announced a global recall of some 967,000 toys made in
China, including the popular Barney, Big Bird, Diego, Dora, Ernie and Elmo
characters, because the "paint on some of these products could contain
lead in excess of permissible levels."
The affected toys are marked Fisher-Price, and carry a date code
between109-7LF and 187-7LF.
Exposure to lead, a heavy metal, can lead to decreased intelligence
(IQ)scores, learning disabilities, behavior problems, mental retardation
and serious damage to the brain and other organs.
At extremely high doses, lead poisoning in children can cause seizures,
coma and death.
The eco-group also drew attention to the health hazards of polyvinyl
chloride (PVC) baby products and toys as toxins leach out of PVC
objects when sucked by babies and small children. Phthalates, the industrial chemicals used to soften PVC, can damage the liver, kidneys, and lungs, and interfere with hormonal and reproductive development.
PVC is described as "the most polluting of all plastics," from
production to disposal. Dioxin, the most toxic compound known to science, is produced when PVC is burned.
"We ask the government to ensure that only toys that have undergone and passed safety and toxicity tests are sold in the market. A stringent
policy against the use of harmful materials such as lead and PVC in
children's toys will push manufacturers to find safer substitutes from
which to make children's toys," said Elsie Brandes-De Veyra, a retired
nurse and member of the EcoWaste Coalition's Steering Committee.
"The mandatory labeling on toy safety is also essential to safeguard
our children from harmful toys. Thus we support Senate Bill 84 filed by
Senate President Manny Villar, which if enacted, will require the
inclusion of 'easy-to-read cautionary warnings on toys and their
packaging' as well as product information if any 'toxic, corrosive,
irritant, flammable, or combustible' material was used in the
manufacturing of the toy," De Veyra stated.
The EcoWaste Coalition reissued its "Guide for Safe Toys" to assist
consumers in making informed decisions. The guide points to safety and
environmental friendliness as key factors in making the right choices
when buying toys.
1. Choose toys that match the age, interest, aptitude, and skill of
the intended recipient, avoiding inappropriate toys that may pose safety
risks to younger children.
2. Check the warning labels and instructions, particularly the age and
safety recommendations, which should be clear to you, and when suitable,
to the child.
3. Examine the label to know if the toy does not contain toxic
chemicals such as lead, PVC and other harmful substances that can cause adverse health effects.
4. Avoid toys with small or loose parts that can easily fall out and
get swallowed, thus posing fatal danger from choking danger. Look for
sturdy toys made of non-breakable materials.
5. Check if the toy's cords or strings are not too long to entrap the
neck and cause strangulation.
6. Stay away from toys with sharp edges and points that can cause
lacerations, contusions and abrasions.
7. Avoid excessively loud toys with no volume control as this can
impair the sensitive hearing of children.
8. Keep toys' plastic wrappings, foam peanuts or paper strips away
from children to avoid choking or aspiration.
Manila Bulletin, 12 August 2007
Following a "device alert" warning issued by the Department of Health
against some imported toys containing toxic lead-based paints, the
EcoWaste Coalition today asked the government to require manufacturers
to test the toxicity of materials used in children's toys prior to sale.
The EcoWaste Coalition made the plea after Fisher-Price, a subsidiaryof Mattel Inc., announced a global recall of some 967,000 toys made in
China, including the popular Barney, Big Bird, Diego, Dora, Ernie and Elmo
characters, because the "paint on some of these products could contain
lead in excess of permissible levels."
The affected toys are marked Fisher-Price, and carry a date code
between109-7LF and 187-7LF.
Exposure to lead, a heavy metal, can lead to decreased intelligence
(IQ)scores, learning disabilities, behavior problems, mental retardation
and serious damage to the brain and other organs.
At extremely high doses, lead poisoning in children can cause seizures,
coma and death.
The eco-group also drew attention to the health hazards of polyvinyl
chloride (PVC) baby products and toys as toxins leach out of PVC
objects when sucked by babies and small children. Phthalates, the industrial chemicals used to soften PVC, can damage the liver, kidneys, and lungs, and interfere with hormonal and reproductive development.
PVC is described as "the most polluting of all plastics," from
production to disposal. Dioxin, the most toxic compound known to science, is produced when PVC is burned.
"We ask the government to ensure that only toys that have undergone and passed safety and toxicity tests are sold in the market. A stringent
policy against the use of harmful materials such as lead and PVC in
children's toys will push manufacturers to find safer substitutes from
which to make children's toys," said Elsie Brandes-De Veyra, a retired
nurse and member of the EcoWaste Coalition's Steering Committee.
"The mandatory labeling on toy safety is also essential to safeguard
our children from harmful toys. Thus we support Senate Bill 84 filed by
Senate President Manny Villar, which if enacted, will require the
inclusion of 'easy-to-read cautionary warnings on toys and their
packaging' as well as product information if any 'toxic, corrosive,
irritant, flammable, or combustible' material was used in the
manufacturing of the toy," De Veyra stated.
The EcoWaste Coalition reissued its "Guide for Safe Toys" to assist
consumers in making informed decisions. The guide points to safety and
environmental friendliness as key factors in making the right choices
when buying toys.
1. Choose toys that match the age, interest, aptitude, and skill of
the intended recipient, avoiding inappropriate toys that may pose safety
risks to younger children.
2. Check the warning labels and instructions, particularly the age and
safety recommendations, which should be clear to you, and when suitable,
to the child.
3. Examine the label to know if the toy does not contain toxic
chemicals such as lead, PVC and other harmful substances that can cause adverse health effects.
4. Avoid toys with small or loose parts that can easily fall out and
get swallowed, thus posing fatal danger from choking danger. Look for
sturdy toys made of non-breakable materials.
5. Check if the toy's cords or strings are not too long to entrap the
neck and cause strangulation.
6. Stay away from toys with sharp edges and points that can cause
lacerations, contusions and abrasions.
7. Avoid excessively loud toys with no volume control as this can
impair the sensitive hearing of children.
8. Keep toys' plastic wrappings, foam peanuts or paper strips away
from children to avoid choking or aspiration.
#2080
Quotable Quotes / Re: Solitude
August 15, 2007, 01:26:36 AM
Faith makes all things possible.
Love makes them easy.
Unknown
Love makes them easy.
Unknown
#2081
Quotable Quotes / Re: Life Is
August 15, 2007, 01:19:23 AM
Life is a joke...
life is full traps..
murag ingon ani ay..
life is full traps..
murag ingon ani ay..
#2082
Philippine History / Re: Hazel (a.k.a. Ginger) is now a Hero
August 15, 2007, 01:04:58 AM
Cheers
#2083
Philippine History / Re: Latest Hero of Tubag Bohol: Ghost...
August 15, 2007, 01:03:25 AM
Congrats Ghost....
sigi bunal pa Ghost...
sigi bunal pa Ghost...
#2085
Introduce Yourself / Re: Do You Eat "Bejabas"?
August 15, 2007, 12:40:54 AMQuote from: GEC348 on August 12, 2007, 06:53:35 AM
Intawon, nahurot na si bejabas.
Pwerte natong pangaon, oi!
Naa pa ba'y nasalin...
sa mga handumanan sa atong mga nangagi
sa pagpamajabas?
oi.. pahinuga usa ninyo , ng uban nga biyabas diha kay sayang.
#2086
Introduce Yourself / Re: Mo apil Jud Ko Diri
August 15, 2007, 12:37:09 AM
sus .. ay nagpaila gyod nga pala inom dah..
#2087
Introduce Yourself / Re: hello everybody!!!
August 15, 2007, 12:33:47 AM
enjoy willmerit feel at home..
give me..five..
give me..five..
#2088
Science and Research / Re: How to Treat Shyness?
August 15, 2007, 12:25:12 AM
I used to be really shy. people thought i was stuck up because i was just quiet. until they got to know me. once they got to know me, they all said," i really thought you were stuck up. you never said anything to anybody. i'm glad you came out of your shell."there is nothing wrong with being shy. those people have the problem. some people are just introverted, thats all. dont let it get to you. you are the kind of person who choses carefully who you let in on your life.
#2089
Talk of the Town / Re: Costly Congressmen !!!
August 15, 2007, 12:09:38 AM
sus , kaya pala magpakamatay nalang ang congressman pag election na.
#2090
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
August 15, 2007, 12:07:22 AM
JUAN: kuwang pliti nato, dyis rani.
PEDRO: libat bitaw ng driver, mo baynte lagi na!
JUAN: pliti Nong!
DRIVER: Oops..kuwang ni!
JUAN: Baynte biya na Nong!
DRIVER: upat biya mo!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
PEDRO: libat bitaw ng driver, mo baynte lagi na!
JUAN: pliti Nong!
DRIVER: Oops..kuwang ni!
JUAN: Baynte biya na Nong!
DRIVER: upat biya mo!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
#2091
Jokes and Humor / Re: It's Joke Time Again!!!
August 15, 2007, 12:03:29 AM
Mag Bf &Gf...
Gf: lab gutom nko
Bf: unsa imong gustO?
Gf: tag naA
Bf: hmmn..burgeR?
Gf:layo rA
Bf: hOtdoG?
Gf:duol nA!
Bf:itlOg
Gf:Hapit nA
Bf: OtaN
Gf: sus! oi mkalagot wrOng spelling pa gyuD..
Gf: lab gutom nko
Bf: unsa imong gustO?
Gf: tag naA
Bf: hmmn..burgeR?
Gf:layo rA
Bf: hOtdoG?
Gf:duol nA!
Bf:itlOg
Gf:Hapit nA
Bf: OtaN
Gf: sus! oi mkalagot wrOng spelling pa gyuD..
#2092
Jokes and Humor / Re: ON LIGHTER SIDE
August 14, 2007, 11:55:30 PM
ayg palabi zel ha, basin maka ihi ka sa banig..
#2093
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
August 14, 2007, 11:48:54 PM
tatay: anak, paliti kog softdrinks
anak: coke o pepsi?
tatay: coke...
anak: diet o regular?
tatay: regular...
anak: bote o can?
tatay: bote...
anak: 8 oz. o litro?
tatay: punyeta....tubig na lang
anak: natural o mineral?
tatay: mineral...
anak: bugnaw o dili?
tatay: lambusan ta man ka aning silhig ron...
anak: lanot o tukog?
tatay: animal man seguro ka!!!
anak: baka o baboy?
tatay: layas!!!...layas! !!...
anak: karon o ugma?
tatay: karon na!!!
anak: imo ko ihatud o dili?
tatay: patyon ta ka karon!!!
anak: tuk-on o pusilon?
tatay: pusilon!!!
anak: sa ulo o tiyan?
tatay: pisteee!!!
anak: ok-ok o ilaga?
tatay: aaaahhhhh... .bu****!!!
anak: kinsa...ikaw o ako?
anak: coke o pepsi?
tatay: coke...
anak: diet o regular?
tatay: regular...
anak: bote o can?
tatay: bote...
anak: 8 oz. o litro?
tatay: punyeta....tubig na lang
anak: natural o mineral?
tatay: mineral...
anak: bugnaw o dili?
tatay: lambusan ta man ka aning silhig ron...
anak: lanot o tukog?
tatay: animal man seguro ka!!!
anak: baka o baboy?
tatay: layas!!!...layas! !!...
anak: karon o ugma?
tatay: karon na!!!
anak: imo ko ihatud o dili?
tatay: patyon ta ka karon!!!
anak: tuk-on o pusilon?
tatay: pusilon!!!
anak: sa ulo o tiyan?
tatay: pisteee!!!
anak: ok-ok o ilaga?
tatay: aaaahhhhh... .bu****!!!
anak: kinsa...ikaw o ako?
#2094
Jokes and Humor / Re: Funny Pix
August 14, 2007, 11:43:17 PM
THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!
The National Highway Safety Council has done
Extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be Reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......
The National Highway Safety Council has done
Extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be Reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below.......
#2095
Talk of the Town / Re: Uyon ka ba ang Bohol makabaton ug Bohol Death Squad?
August 14, 2007, 11:39:02 PM
Uyon ko.. basta sure nga ang ilang gipatay klaro gyod nakasala..
#2096
Jokes and Humor / Re: Mangatawa Usa Ta.
August 14, 2007, 11:28:31 PM
TEACHER: give me a tag question class.
PUPIL: My teacher is very nice and caring, isn't she?
TEACHER: Very good! binisay-a kuno dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra buutan ug mapinanggaon, wa sya mabuang?
PUPIL: My teacher is very nice and caring, isn't she?
TEACHER: Very good! binisay-a kuno dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra buutan ug mapinanggaon, wa sya mabuang?
#2097
Jokes and Humor / Mangatawa Usa Ta.
August 14, 2007, 11:18:50 PM
AMERKANO : "Good morning ladies and gentlemen"
JUAN : "Maayong buntag sa mga babaye ug mga lalake"
AMERKANO : " I'm very happy that I'm here in yourplace."
JUAN : "Akong dakong kalipay nga ania ako sa inyonglugar"
AMERKANO : "I know..."
JUAN : "Nakahibawo ako...."
AMERKANO: "...that all of you are THOUGHTFUL.. "
JUAN : " ...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG NGIPON.."
AMERKANO : .....that all of you are FAITHFUL..."
JUAN: ".... nga kamong tanan DAGKOG TIIL..."
AMERKANO: "... and that, all of you are PEACEFUL... "
JUAN : "...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG NAWONG..."
Nabungkag ang meeting....nanglupad ang mga bato....
JUAN : "Maayong buntag sa mga babaye ug mga lalake"
AMERKANO : " I'm very happy that I'm here in yourplace."
JUAN : "Akong dakong kalipay nga ania ako sa inyonglugar"
AMERKANO : "I know..."
JUAN : "Nakahibawo ako...."
AMERKANO: "...that all of you are THOUGHTFUL.. "
JUAN : " ...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG NGIPON.."
AMERKANO : .....that all of you are FAITHFUL..."
JUAN: ".... nga kamong tanan DAGKOG TIIL..."
AMERKANO: "... and that, all of you are PEACEFUL... "
JUAN : "...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG NAWONG..."
Nabungkag ang meeting....nanglupad ang mga bato....
#2098
Jokes and Humor / Re: ON LIGHTER SIDE
August 14, 2007, 11:05:21 PM
A love Story..
This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail then." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?" The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas.
This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail then." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?" The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas.
#2099
Philippine Daily News / FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT.
August 14, 2007, 10:50:52 PMNury Vittachi - THE FAR EASTERN ECONOMIC REVIEW
This week, we shall take a "reading tour" of one of the most spirited communities in Asia . The Philippines is full of word play. The local accent among many Filipinos, in which English words with "F" are spelled and pronounced with the sound of "P" and V is pronounced as "B" (because the Philippine alphabet has no letters F or V), is often used very cleverly, such as, the sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
Much of the word play in the Philippines is deliberate with retailers and various businesses favouring a play on names of Western establishments and celebrities (Americans, in particular-- -movie stars and entertainment personalities, especially). For example, there is a bread shop in Manila called Anita Bakery, a 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day and Night, a garment shop called Elizabeth Tailoring, and a barber shop called Felix The Cut.
Reader Robert Harland also spotted a bakery named Bread Pitt, and a Makati fast-food place selling "maruya" (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing, and a boutique called The Way We Wear ; a video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental; a restaurant in the Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken, a local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's, a doughnut shop called MacDonuts, a shop selling "lumpia" (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll, and two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
Smart travellers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the "Taglish" (the Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino accent), such as, at a restaurant menu in Cebu : "We hab sopdrink in can an in batol" [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle]. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces].
There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words, but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to "correct" them. A reader named Antonio "Tonyboy" Ramon T. Ongsiako, (now there's a truly Filipino name), contributed the following interesting Philippine signs and advertisements:
In a restaurant in Baguio City (the "summer capital" of the Philippines ): "Wanted: Boy Waitress"; on a highway in Pampanga: "We Make Modern Antique Furniture;" on the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : "We Shoot You While You Wait;" and on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila : "Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier."
Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression, such as, a shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: "We Sell Imported Robber Shoes" (these could be the "sneakiest" sneakers); and a rental property sign in Jaro, Iloilo reads: "House For Rent, Fully Furnaced" (it must really be hot inside)!
Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique--if not altogether odd. Reader Gunilla Edlund submitted a sign that she saw at the ticket booth in the ferry pier in Davao City in southern Philippines , which said: "Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation. "
European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia, which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively- -(believe it or not)!
According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because ". . .we are a country where a good sense of humour is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and retiring actors.
#2100
Jokes and Humor / Re: TEXT JOKS
August 14, 2007, 01:15:40 AM
Pari nagmimisa:
“Sino sa inyo ang may kagalit?â€
Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isa matandang babae.
Pari: “Si Lola lang ang walang kagalit! Ano edad nyo lola?â€
Lola: “90 anyosâ€
Pari: “Tignan nyo si Lola 90 na walang kagalit! Bakit wala kayo kagalit
Lola?â€
Lola: “Patay na ang mga putang ina!â€
“Sino sa inyo ang may kagalit?â€
Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isa matandang babae.
Pari: “Si Lola lang ang walang kagalit! Ano edad nyo lola?â€
Lola: “90 anyosâ€
Pari: “Tignan nyo si Lola 90 na walang kagalit! Bakit wala kayo kagalit
Lola?â€
Lola: “Patay na ang mga putang ina!â€